Desire

JanieB

Rating: PG13
Genres: Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 08/09/2004
Last Updated: 08/09/2004
Status: completed

This is the first fanfic I ever wrote...and I think it shows. It's a short one-shot set in Harry and Hermione's final year at Hogwarts. Hermione needs to know if Harry has any feelings for her and so she takes the initiative. If I wrote this now it would be somewhat different, I think. Still, if you do get around to reading it, please feel free to review!

Chapters

1. Desire (one shot)

1. Desire (one shot)

DESIRE

By Lady Jane

Harry simply couldn’t believe it. Here he was, standing before the girl of his dreams, and she was asking him whether he’d mind kissing her, if you please. Would he mind? What could he say to that? Well, of course not - not at all, Hermione! Glad to oblige, dear friend. Yeah, right. He was dreaming – he had to be. Or maybe his mind had just decided it was rather bored with sanity and wanted to try a little complete and utter madness for a change.

Whether it was real or not, he decided he’d be a total fool if he didn’t try to make the most of it. Because there she was, right in front of him – so small and soft and fragrant and totally feminine, making him feel so very large and strong and masculine – both her small hands resting on his chest, which was barely containing his heart it was beating so hard and fast, a small smile on her slightly tilted face that was both hopeful and fearful at the same time, her beautiful, soft brown eyes gazing up at him, and he stood there gaping at her, his hands halfway to nowhere because she had caught him so totally unawares. To make matters worse, he had been dreaming of her for so long now and how he’d been dreaming of her! And here she was, touching him, asking him to kiss her for God’s sake! Her sudden, unexpected proximity – not to mention her request - was destroying the little self control he had in her presence because in that split second he felt a violent need make this woman, the one he wanted so badly, his; to grab her and hold her so tightly she couldn’t escape and she’d be his and his alone. He wanted to kiss her senseless so that she couldn’t think of anyone but him – to hear her soft moans as he assaulted her senses and emotions relentlessly until she surrendered her whole self to him. Only then would he be complete and happy.

‘Harry?’ her soft, breathless voice broke into his reverie.

He refocused his eyes so that he was truly looking at her. Oh, shit! Get a grip on yourself Potter!

‘Hermione,’ he managed quietly, despite his madly beating heart and his brain that didn’t seem capable of thinking anything remotely sane, despite his best efforts. Her gaze became gently quizzical, her head still tilted as she looked at him.

‘Hermione,’ he repeated, ‘are you sure?’

He groaned inwardly. Oh great, Harry, you bloody idiot. Why would you question her about this? Why not just DO it for Merlin’s sake! She wouldn’t ask you if she didn’t want you to. But she seemed to appreciate his question, thank his lucky stars. Her gaze softened as she answered him,

‘Harry, I’m sure. I’ve thought about it a LOT and believe me, I’m sure. I know it’s asking a lot and if you really have a problem with this just say so – I won’t mind and I certainly won’t hold it against you.’

“Hold it against you…” Another inward groan, much more heartfelt this time. Great galloping unicorns! How he was he supposed to think about what she’d said when all he could think of was her holding it against him. Her. Against him. All those soft and firm bits and the long legs and those arms around his neck. Shit, what had she said? She didn’t mind? Would he please kiss her Harry? His hands left Nowhere Land and took up residence on each side of her small waist, just resting gently, unsure as yet of their limitations. Or her expectations.

He was sure her eyes widened at his touch or did he imagine it? Then he thought to himself, What the hell! What’s the worst that can happen? She says I’m a lousy kisser? At least I get to kiss her. I can keep the memory of that forever, regardless of her verdict! OK, right, gonna do it. Now. Kissing Hermione NOW.

With his hands still on her waist and her hands still on his chest, he pulled her ever-so-gently a little closer; she was still gazing up at him expectantly, her lovely eyes shining, her head tilted back a little further now that she was closer to him, waiting – her long, soft, brown curls cascading down her back.

No time like the present, Potter. That was his last coherent thought as he bent his head to close the gap between their lips. He saw her eyes slowly close as his lips touched hers and he closed his own eyes in answer.

He couldn’t think. He could only feel. It was the most amazing feeling, her soft lips, meeting his so sweetly. He could feel the sensation growing inexorably… the touch of her lips, the feel of her hands on his chest, the smallness of her waist beneath his hands, the taste of her… then she was slowly sliding her hands up his chest, over his shoulders, snaking them behind his neck so that they met and her fingers entwined, their velvety pressure holding him as surely as chains, her lips keeping his hostage and suddenly, shockingly, he was in full contact with all those soft and firm bits and an explosion of all those sensations - made up of all those butterflies in his stomach and what felt like electricity throughout his whole body – was sent flying through him by the fast beating of his heart… all coming together and settling at last in the pit of his stomach, then rising…

Suddenly, Hermione pulled back – her hands still entwined behind his neck, her body still in full contact with his, just her head tilted back, her eyes wide, full of… what?

‘Harry!’ she exclaimed softly, but urgently and he knew – she could feel it, his response to her and her kiss – that uncontrollable hardness; it had made its presence known well and truly – no ignoring it! He dropped his head, unable to look at her, embarrassed beyond words.

‘Did I do that?’ she asked in a small, breathless voice.

Harry’s head flew up and he gazed at her, astonished. He couldn’t speak, so he nodded. His answer was a small, satisfied smile on those beautiful lips of hers. Shit! He had to be dreaming, dammit, because she seemed okay with this! How was that possible? Only in his dreams had she always responded so willingly… allowing him to do things to her and with her and then she would do things back to him…

He shook his head to stop that particular train of thought then continued to gaze at her, still unable to form words. She gave her head a tiny shake, still smiling.

She held his eyes as she gently pushed her hips against him, causing massive havoc in his already short-circuited brain, at the same time putting pressure on the back of his neck with her hands to bring his mouth back down to hers.

He was too surprised to do anything other than kiss her back and as he closed his eyes again, he couldn’t help the groan that escaped his lips as she increased the pressure of her hips against his aching manhood. What she did next sent him over the edge. He felt her tongue probe softly against his lips and three things happened at once: he opened his mouth and his tongue met hers, he groaned in ecstasy at the first time ever sensation of a full-on, open mouth kiss and his hands instantly left her waist as his left arm went across her back and around her waist, pulling her even closer – how was that possible? – and his right hand flew up to cup the back of her neck to ensure she couldn’t move her mouth away from his and deprive him of this incredible feeling. He didn’t want to this end. Not ever.

But of course you have to eventually come up for air and as their lips reluctantly parted and they slowly opened their eyes, the same emotion was mirrored in both her soft brown eyes and his brilliant green ones. Amazement. Wonder. Oh, and what was that? Ah yes! Desire.

They spoke simultaneously, their voices barely above a whisper.

‘Harry…’

‘Hermione…’

And again.

‘You go first…’

‘You go first…’

They smiled identical happy, goofy smiles.

‘Ladies first,’ he told her.

She sighed and continued smiling as she spoke.

‘Harry, that was amazing’”

‘Absolutely incredible!’ he agreed, ‘and infinitely better than anything I’ve ever imagined when I’ve…’ his voice faltered as he realised he was about to reveal that he’d been dreaming of kissing her. And he’d been dreaming those dreams for what seemed like forever now and well, to be honest, he’d been dreaming of far more than just kissing her... Sweet Merlin, did he just get even harder?

He groaned again, his head dropping back, his eyes closing, images from his numerous dreams swirling through his head. Could you die from an overdose of desire? He thought that perhaps you could because he was sure he was going to expire any minute now – he couldn’t possibly feel any more desire for her than right now – he couldn’t possibly get any harder – he was aching – he…

‘Better than you’ve imagined when you’ve what, Harry?’ asked Hermione as she slid her hands back down to rest once again on his chest. Harry, however, didn’t move his hands; he was still holding her tightly close with his left arm, his right hand ever so gently massaging the back of her neck as he brought his head forward again and looked down at her.

She felt a thrill shoot through her at the intensity of the look in his eyes – and when he spoke, his voice was deep and husky with desire, making her sure that if Harry wasn’t holding her so tightly she would be unable to stand.

‘Hermione, you will probably be very surprised to know that I’ve been dreaming about this – about you – about kissing you – for a long time now. I’m not sure exactly why you wanted me to kiss you and to be honest,’ he gave her small, lopsided smile, and then continued, ‘it doesn’t matter right now. But kissing you matters and I really need to know whether this is supposed to be just a one-off thing…’ his voice faltered as he thought of never being able to do this again, then he took a deep breath and went on, ‘or whether you have any sort of feelings for me over and above our friendship. I promise you that if you simply want to continue our friendship, you’ll always have that with me, I will always be here for you. But if you do feel more for me than just friendship…’

His right hand left her neck and moved down to join his left around her waist, allowing her to lean back a little and as she did so, she placed her hands tenderly on each side of his face, looking into his eyes – eyes that now held fear, fear of rejection by her – but with that underlying strength that was uniquely his in the face of all adversity. How she loved those eyes!

‘Harry, I’m not too surprised about your dreams, but I am delighted! You see, I’ve been dreaming about you… and I’ve been working up the courage to do this for a number of weeks now. I was hoping that you might feel something for me but I knew that even if you did, you wouldn’t say anything because, well, I just knew you wouldn’t, being you and not thinking that anyone could want you or love you… well, I decided that I had to take the initiative because I so desperately needed to know whether you felt anything for me besides friendship and, well, I – the way – this–‘

Colour rose delicately in her cheeks as she lowered her eyes, dropping her hands once more to his chest. Harry felt such a rush of tenderness for her he could hardly bear it. He brought his right hand up to her chin, to tilt her face once more up to his, her eyes filled with uncertainty, coming up to meet his which were now full of growing joy at her words, “…not thinking that anyone could want you or love you…”. Did that mean she wanted him and love him?

‘Yes, Hermione? The way what?’ he asked, his voice still rough with desire.

She continued to meet his gaze as she spoke.

‘The way I feel – about you – how you make me feel – how you make me want to… how I want

you - for us to - well, just do… things…’ she finished helplessly, feeling rather lame, really.

His heart rate was increasing again. ‘Do things?’ Harry repeated, feeling momentarily bewildered. ‘What things?’ he asked. Was she trying to say what he thought she was trying to say? Holy shit! Did Hermione want him? Want him to make love to her? If this was all a dream, he did not want to wake up. Not ever. Rumpelstiltskin, move over!

Hermione was struggling to find the words to say what she wanted to say – to make him understand what she wanted – without sounding, well, easy. She laughed inwardly at herself. For God’s sake, she thought, why can’t I just say that I want him – it’s driving me crazy how much I want him. I’ve never made love with anyone before and yet I just know that’s what I want – what I’ve wanted for so long - with him. I want–‘

Harry could sense her struggle, but he didn’t want to push her – he wanted her to say this in her own words. He wanted to hear her say it.

Hermione could see it in his eyes. He was waiting. For her. To put it into words.

She took a deep breath and dropped her eyes to watch her fingers as they started to fiddle with a button on his shirt. Harry released her chin and put his arm back around her waist.

‘It all started one day after Quidditch practice. You remember that really awfully hot day a couple of weeks ago?” She looked up at him and he nodded. She looked down at her fingers again as she continued.

‘I’d been watching and I followed everyone back to the change room so I could walk back with you and Ron and Ginny to the common room, like always.’ Hermione took another deep breath, but didn’t stop looking at her fingers as she spoke.

‘Well, I walked into the change room and – well, it wasn’t any different from all the other times and yet – it was. It was really strange. It was like I was me, but not me. I know that sounds silly, but I can’t explain it any other way. Anyway, all of you strip off your shirts after a game or practise, when it’s hot, and I’d never thought anything of it before but for some reason – I still don’t know why – I just noticed that I was noticing – but only noticing you. You looked so – I couldn’t take my eyes off you and well, it made me – I mean I wanted to – oh shit!’ finished Hermione in a disgusted tone.

She stopped fiddling with Harry’s button as she made fists with both her hands and stamped her foot in frustration.

Harry couldn’t help himself. He laughed. Not too long or loud, but in true amusement. How often was Hermione lost for words? How often did Little Miss Perfect swear and stamp her foot? It was almost priceless and to top it off, he was the cause! Mother of Merlin – she had the hots for him!! He took a slow, deep breath.

‘Hermione, it’s okay. I know what you mean.’ He once again had to put his fingers under her chin to get her to lift her head and look at him.

He could hardly contain his joy and he wanted to reassure her.

‘You do?’ she whispered. His hand moved to caress her cheek, then he ran his hand slowly down her neck and over her shoulder to trace the graceful curve of her back down to her waist. She closed her eyes, her head falling slightly back as she sighed at the sensations created by his touch, delicious tendrils of desire and need travelling to what felt like every single square inch of her body. Harry watched in amazement at the effect his touch was having and tightened his grip on her, telling her in a voice so full of love and desire she could hardly breathe as she looked into his eyes.

‘Oh, yes indeed, I know exactly what you mean,” Harry said fervently, ‘I imagine it’s the same thing that happens when I look at you. I stop thinking about everyone and everything else. I can’t take my eyes off you because you look so delicious,’ and he ran his tongue across his lips quickly, savouring the memory of her kiss, causing Hermione to focus on his mouth and think about kissing him again and how his tongue had felt in her mouth and how his hands felt – his voice broke into her thoughts, ‘-and I just want to grab you and kiss you – kiss you all over–‘ Harry felt overcome with desire, his voice becoming huskier as he spoke about those things he’d only previously dreamt about – he thought for a moment he might scare Hermione but he felt unable to stop himself as he continued, ‘-I want to take you somewhere totally beautiful and private and slowly undress you and make very passionate love to you for a long, long time–‘

Hermione moaned Harry’s name and threw her arms around his neck, crushing her lips against his.

Harry responded immediately and once again they lost themselves in each other, the taste – the warmth – the feel of their bodies pressing into each other.

Harry’s heart sang – he wasn’t dreaming! She truly wanted him – Hermione wanted him! He wanted to pick her up and swing her around and laugh with joy! Hallelujah!

Hermione pulled away and Harry moaned in protest as he tried to reconnect their lips and continue this wonderful, wonderful kiss, but Hermione needed to say something and she spoke breathlessly against his mouth, ‘Harry – yes! That’s what I want – you! I want to make love with you so much!’

That’s the final proof, thought Harry, that I’ve somehow managed to make it to Paradise.

‘That day in the change room’, Hermione continued, ‘I couldn’t stop looking at you – it was like I’d never seen you before – you looked so – goddamned sexy! You made my knees weak and – well, I just felt sort of weak all over and I have ever since, every time I see you! It’s driving me crazy and that’s why I just had to know, to find out if you might feel a little something for me, maybe,’ she finished, feeling uncertain again having revealed all that but as she looked into those amazing green eyes she could swear she could almost see them darken under her gaze with such breathtaking desire she held her breath.

‘Dear God, Hermione, if you only knew what you do to me,’ Harry groaned before dropping his head to kiss her again.

Hermione, however, was quite aware of what she did to him, thank you very much. It was very evident what she did to him and as she slowly ground her hips against him she knew they needed to be somewhere very, very soon where they could–

Suddenly, Harry, without breaking their kiss, bent down and lightly scooped her up with his right hand behind her knees and his left arm supporting her upper back. Hermione pulled back in surprise, her eyes wide. Harry smiled at her, a smile that sent that wonderful shock racing through her body and the look in his eyes made her feel as though she was going to melt right there. She slid her right arm up, bringing her hand to curl around his neck and gently touched his lips with the fingers of her left hand.

‘Harry?’

He smiled against the light touch of her fingers, saying, ‘I have a feeling that the Room of Requirement would be the perfect place for us right now, my love.’

He looked at her, waiting for her assent.

She smiled up at him, ‘Oh, yes! Yes, Harry! Please, please!’

‘Your wish is my command, beautiful lady.’ And he strode off, gazing with adoration at the face of the woman he loved as she smiled up him, her look full of love and desire for him. They both knew exactly what it was they required.

THE END