A Wizards Chess by Capn Rating: PG Ship: Harry & Hermione Canon: Books 1 - 5 Genre: Humor, Romance Status: Complete Length: 3,007 words in 1 chapter Published: 8 Sep 2004 Last updated: 8 Sep 2004 “Are you saying girls can’t play wizards chess?” Hermione demanded. - - Hehe...the answer to this question and more. One shot. From the Unofficial Portkey Archive: https://portkey-archive.org/story/2937/ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ 1. A Wizards Chess “Go on, knight, go on.” Harry urged the horse-shaped piece forward. He noticed Ron’s grin widen. “No wait. Never mind. Stop!” “Can’t change your mind after you already moved your piece.” Ron informed him gleefully. “I believe that – “ his bishop moved diagonally across the board “- is a checkmate!” “Damn!” Harry groaned. “I swear I thought I had it.” “You gotta step it up, this is a MAN’S game!” Ron thumped his chest. “Okay. But you’re not a man, you’re a monkey dipped headfirst in ketchup.” Ron scowled, but laughed in spite of himself. “Want another go?” He rubbed his hands together eagerly. “I think I’ll take what remains of my self-esteem and use it to blow my nose on after I weep bitterly in my room.” Harry grinned and pushed his chair in. “It’s kind of late.” Ron looked at the clock, whose hands now read half past midnight. The common room was empty, and had been for a while. “Yeah, I guess.” They started to gather their books and sheets of parchment, which hadn’t been touched since they promised Hermione they would study at least 3 hours earlier. As Harry shifted assorted books aside, he found that his Transfiguration book was gone. “Ron, have you seen my Transfiguration book?” Ron looked at him blankly and shrugged. “I’m not even sure if I have one myself. I think I lost mine months ago.” Harry rolled his eyes and looked at the large armchair facing the dying fire. He walked over, figuring he had left it there earlier. Or maybe someone had borrowed it. He was surprised to find it there, being slept upon by a softly breathing Hermione. She was in a deep sleep, not just dozing off. Somehow she had managed to use Harry’s book as a pillow on the armrest. Her legs were curled up so that she oddly resembled a sleeping kitten by the fire, which seemed to highlight her hair a shining gold and her lips a deeper rose so that it almost matched the red and gold décor of the Gryffindor Common Room. The expression on her face was peaceful, beautiful. Not stressing, not angry, not afraid, not anxious. All expressions that she usually wore, being best friends with The Boy Who Lived. Harry frowned at the thought. “Harry, come on!” Ron whined. Harry blinked out of his Hermione-induced trance and he realized how odd it must have looked to Ron, him just staring at an armchair for so long. “Hermione’s got my book.” Harry said. “Well, get it tomorrow! You know we can’t climb the bloody Girls Stairs.” “No I mean – “ Harry pointed at the armchair he was standing over. “- she’s sleeping on it.” Ron raised an eyebrow. “She’s there? I thought she went up ages ago.” “Me too.” “I guess I was too distracted kicking your ass at chess.” Ron grinned cheekily. “Shut up.” Ron clumped over and peered into the chair. “Bloody hell. The girl sleeps on books. You think that’s how she does it? Does she learn through absorption?” Harry laughed softly. “What do I do?” “Just take it.” “I don’t want to wake her up.” “So just get it tomorrow.” Ron repeated. “Do we leave her here?” “Why not? Let’s go find a blanket or something. She looks comfortable.” “Her legs are all bunched up there.” Harry pointed at her bare legs, which seemed to flicker gold with the fire. Her school skirt had been drawn up slightly by her cramped position, revealing more leg than they usually saw. Harry felt his pulse quicken slightly. “So? She’s agile enough. Remember when she drop-kicked Malfoy at DADA?” Harry smiled at the thought. They had been learning a few Muggle martial arts at DADA, and Hermione had proved that she was definitely not only book-smart. “It’s going to hurt her in the morning.” He insisted. Ron groaned. “Fine. What do you propose we do then?” “We get her to the couch.” “How? Wingardium Leviosa?” “Ron, you can barely levitate a pillow. I don’t think Hermione wants her neck broken.” “Then you do it.” “I haven’t got my wand.” Harry admitted. So much for constant vigilance, it was up in his dorm. If Moody knew about this, his magic eyeball would pop out of its socket and drown itself. “Come on, Harry! I’m sleepy, let’s just leave her. She’s been cursed unconscious by Death Eaters; I think she could stand a little leg cramp!” “Ron! Let’s just lift her. She can’t be that heavy. “You grab her leg – “ Harry stopped, realizing he wasn’t to keen on someone else grabbing her legs. “I mean, her shoulders. I’ve got the bottom.” Ron looked at him peculiarly, then up at the clock. He groaned. “Oh all right. Let’s just get this over with.” He took Hermione gently by the shoulders, lifting her from the armpits. She did not stir. Harry paused a moment, trying to figure out the best way to pick her up. He cursed whoever’s idea it was to make school uniforms skirts. “Harry!” “Okay!” He carefully looped his arm around the bend of her knees and they lifted. “Oof.” Ron grunted. “She’s really heavy for such a tiny person.” Suddenly Hermione jerked and her eyes flew open. They saw her eyes go from confusion to panic. “What the – “ She instinctively punched blindly in the near-dark. “Oww!” Ron let go and grabbed his cheek. “Bloody hell, it wasn’t an insult!” Hermione fell to the floor, dragging an unsuspecting Harry with her. He was still holding her legs. “Hey!” She kicked wildly, nailing Harry in the stomach. “Er – Mine – Ey!” Harry gasped. “It’s us!” “Harry?” “Yeah!” “Ron?” “Bloody hell! I think I need my cheek inflated.” “Oh my!” Hermione scrambled to her feet and checked her friends, apologizing hastily. “Oh, I’m so sorry Harry! Ron! I didn’t know it was you. I thought…” “That we were big evil rapists trying to have our way with you!?” Ron demanded. “In the Gryffindor common Room!?” Hermione blushed in the dark. “Well, I was half asleep.” “If you can fight like that half asleep, I don’t think you need to worry about those rapists.” Harry said, rubbing his stomach. That would leave a mark in the morning. Ron’s cheek didn’t appear as injured as he was carrying on. But he liked to whine, and whine he did. “Okay. She’s awake now. I’m going up to bed.” Ron picked up his things irritably. “I’ll see you in the morning.” He left Harry Hermione in the darkening Common Room. “He’s just miffed that he got beat up by a girl.” Harry explained. Hermione made a face, and then looked apologetic. “Sorry.” Hermione said again, looking away embarrassed. “It’s no problem. I was just kidding. You kick like a girl.” Harry joked. “Oh shut up, Harry.” Hermione smiled. “What were you guys doing, anyway?” “You looked cramped in the chair so we were trying to carry you to the couch.” “Oh! I think I heard you. Half-dreaming. And – “ Hermione scowled. “I heard what Ron said. He called me fat!” Harry snickered. “No he didn’t!” “Yes he did!” “Hermione, you’re not fat. Ron was just lazy and sleepy…and if he was being normal, maybe a bit hungry too.” Hermione laughed. “Well…thank you for doing all that for me, anyway. I can’t believe I beat you two up…” Harry waved dismissively. “Please. I’m The Boy Who Lived. You can’t beat me up.” Hermione lifted an eyebrow. “Oh really. Then why are you still holding your gut?” “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Harry quickly put his hands behind his back. Hermione looked doubtful, but moved on anyway. “Well, it’s late. Oh. I have your book.” Hermione picked it up and handed it to him. “Sorry, I had to check on something and I left mine in the library.” “No problem.” Harry took it and pretended to be disgusted. “Oh. That’s real nice, Hermione. You drooled all over my Transfiguration homework.” Hermione gasped. “I did not!” “Look.” Harry bluffed. Hermione looked closer to inspect it, and Harry pushed it towards her, nearly hitting her in the face, “Ahh!” She fell back. “Gotcha.” Harry grinned playfully. Before he could think it through, he added “You’re such a girl.” Hermione glared at him. “What’s that supposed to mean? Do you need a reminder of how I kicked your stomach in?” “No!” Harry stammered. “I-I mean. You know there are girls on the Quidditch team that are just as good as the guys, if not better!” “So what are you talking about?” Hermione fumed. “You’ve been making comments like that all night. You’re getting as bad as Ron!” Harry knew he was in the doghouse now. She was making Ron comparisons. “I mean, you’re just as good as any boy. Remember how you beat Malfoy into a bloody pulp at DADA? That was just excellent. And I know that not all girls are all, you know, girly-girly. Like you. You know?” Harry babbled. “Are you calling me a boy?” “No!” Harry flushed. “There are differences between girls and boys – “ “Like what?” Hermione crossed her arms. “Um. Um. Are you looking for the, uh, anatomical – “ “No!” Hermione blushed. “What are you trying to say?” “I don’t know. Girls are as good as boys. But different. They are different but they can do the exact same thing. Different can be good. You know? I don’t know.” Harry continued to babble. What the hell was he talking about? Hermione squinted at him, but accepted this. “Okay…” “Yeah.” Harry said, relieved. “You know. Differences. Doesn’t mean one is better than the other. Like you know, how it’s called ‘Wizard’s Chess’?” Harry stopped and realized what he had said. If he had his wand, he would have cursed off his own mouth. Hermione was glaring again. “Excuse me?” “I mean, uh, it’s not called WIZARDS chess because, you know – “ “Are you saying girls can’t play wizards chess?” Hermione demanded. “Hermione – “ Hermione pushed him into a chair and she sat at the other side of the table, where the chess set was still set up. “Just because I don’t play, doesn’t mean I can’t.” she hissed. “I’m sure you can!” “So play me then.” “What?” “Let’s have a game.” “Hermione – “ “How does this little guy move again?” Hermione poked at the pawn. The pawn twitched in exasperation. “You don’t know?” Hermione narrowed her eyes. “You, um, it moves one space forward. Two is allowed on its first move.” “Right,” Thirty minutes later Hermione had gotten the hang of chess. Another fifteen minutes later, she had Harry’s king backed into a corner. Three minutes after that she positioned her castle and declared uncertainly “Checkmate?” Harry raised his eyebrows and looked over the board at different angles. Checkmate, indeed. “Wow.” Was all he could say. “I won?” “Yeah…” Harry confirmed, surprised. It was only her first time, after all. “I’m impressed.” “We should petition to have this game called ‘Magic Chess’ instead of ‘Wizard’s Chess.’ It’s so sexist.” She commented smugly. Harry groaned. Another Hermione Petition. “I’m joking, Harry.” She chuckled softly. Harry smiled at how delicately she laughed. He never noticed before, but it was very attractive. “I should have known you would be good at chess.” Harry said. “You’re good at everything else.” Hermione blushed. “Don’t say that Harry.” “It’s true. But how come you never played chess before?” Hermione shrugged, then looked away quickly. Harry squinted at her suspiciously. “Is it because you’ve never seen a girl play it before?” Hermione scoffed, but said nothing more. “Hermione!” She said nothing. “Ah hah! Now who’s the sexist?” “All right!” Hermione threw up her hands in defeat. “All right! You’re right! Okay?” “Bit hypocritical of you, isn’t it?” Harry winked to let her know he was just kidding. “Yes! I know! It is!” Hermione put her elbows on the table and covered her face with her hands. “I’m a hypocrite. I’m horrible.” “No! No, you’re not. You’re just…you’re human, is all.” Harry moved his chair closer to hers. “I thought you didn’t care about that stuff.” “Well, you know. Lavender and Parvati said – “ Harry snorted. “I thought you were supposed to be smart. ‘Lavender and Parvati said’?? That’s supposed to justify something?” “They said that boys don’t really go for…” “For what?” Harry asked, puzzled. “For, you know, bookworms that can drop-kick evil blond Slytherin guys.” Hermione mumbled. Harry peered into her eyes. She was embarrassed. “Well that’s bull.” “Is it, Harry? Ron went all weird over me when I had my hair straightened and I was all dressed up. It was obvious.” “You’re pretty, and you’re our friend. He was being protective.” Harry said firmly. “Krum was practically looking down your robes.” Hermione rolled her eyes. “So it wasn’t a crush. The only crush I thought someone had on me wasn’t really a crush. Wonderful.” Hermione sighed. “People have got crushes on you. Trust me.” “Like who?” Hermione suddenly looked interested. Hopeful, even. She looked at Harry intently. What Harry wanted to say was at the tip of his tongue. Really. He had every intention to say it. “Ummm…Neville?” “Oh…” she sounded disappointed. Harry mentally groaned. “Hey…you can do a lot worse than Mister Neville Longbottom.” Hermione grinned. “I know. I mean, it could be Crabbe or Goyle…if I didn’t have this slight suspicion that it was each other that they were crushing on…” Harry laughed loudly at her, which caused the bruising on his stomach to ache painfully. He choked on his laugh and clutched his stomach. “Harry! Are you okay?” “Yep. Uh-huh. Just fine.” He grunted through the pain. “Liar. Let me see.” She got off her chair and knelt down so that her face was level with his lower stomach. He fought the thought swirling around in his head. “Come on, Harry, I need to see.” She slapped his hand away and lifted his shirt, revealing the red and purple bruise. “Oh my gosh…I did that!?” Harry tried to shrug nonchalantly. “It’s okay.” “Harry! We should get Madame Pomfrey to take a look at this!” “I’m telling you, it’s fine!” Harry tapped on the table nervously. He didn’t notice for a while that Hermione was still staring at his stomach. “Um, Hermione?” “Huh? What? Oh!” She dropped the shirt and stood abruptly, her face red. Harry looked down at the bruise and at his stomach. Hey, he had abs. He didn’t know that. Must’ve been all the Quidditch and evil-fighting. Then he realized that’s what she was looking at, and he suddenly felt odd. “Come on, we can go see Madame Pomfrey now. We’ll say it’s an emergency.” “Hermione, I don’t want to.” “Come on.” Hermione gave a hint of a smile. “Not scared of telling people a girl hit you, are you?” “Uh…no?” Harry lied. “Stop being all macho.” “What do you know about macho?” “Lavender and Parvati said – “ “Oh, for Merlin’s sake!” “Harry, they know what they’re talking about! They’ve done research. They’ve got all these magazines…” Harry snorted. “They’re all wrong.” “No they’re not. Everything they said has been more or less accurate.” “They’re still wrong.” “How can you say that?” “Because some guys like girls who are smart and can drop-kick ferret boys.” Harry insisted. “I know Neville is a wonderful boy - “ “Forget Neville!” Harry cried. “Harry, what are you talking – “ Before Hermione could finish her sentence, she found Harry’s lips on hers. Harry’s mind was spinning, distracted by all sorts of craziness that left his body to its own devices. His body took this opportunity and went ahead with something Harry’s mind would never have gone along with. Not without deep regrets about her safety and well-being. He was kissing Hermione. Kissing. Oh. God. What was even more mind-blowing was that she was kissing back... She was kissing back. Oh. God. It wasn’t long before his hands found her waist and hers wrapped around his neck. Their kiss deepened to the point where it didn’t matter that it was two o’ clock in the morning. Time was meaningless in their world. Harry and Hermione’s world. No regrets. He knew he wouldn’t regret this. This was what was supposed to happen. Harry unconsciously drew Hermione closer, pressing her body against his. “Owghhh.” Harry yelped as Hermione’s body grazed his painful bruise. “Oh! Harry! Sorry!” Hermione cried, pulling away, their moment of passion temporarily forgotten. “It’s nothing.” “Stop saying that! We’re going to Madame Pomfrey.” “Fine. Three conditions, though.” “What?” “One. You stop quoting Lavender and Parvati and those damn magazines.” Hermione blinked. “Two. You go out with me.” A smile started to grow on her face. “And three, you play Ron in ‘Magic Chess’ tomorrow and kick his ass.” Hermione laughed. “Granted, granted, and granted. Come on.” “You’re the liberated one. Carry me?” Harry joked. Hermione snorted and punched his arm playfully. “You punch like a girl.” “Is it just me, or did we just go in complete circles with this whole sexism thing?” Hermione said thoughtfully. Harry kissed her on the lips again, causing her to forget her thoughts. “Do you really care?” Hermione laughed. “Come on. Let’s go tell Madame Pomfrey you got folded by a girl.” ~*~ NOTE: If you were reading The Sense…uh, sorry. I think that’s going to be paused for a little while. College is a little overwhelming so far so I may not be able to update that full-length fic for the time being. I may just stick to short little ficlets like these, at least until things ease up. Again, sorry. And I hope you enjoyed this…kinda hard though because my roommate confessed the first day her complete hatred of all things Harry Potter and I figured her seeing me writing fanfiction about it wasn’t the best way for us to get along. Ah well. Whatcha gonna do? Review honestly please :)