The Wonders of Lip Gloss

Lol okay ... this fic is just a random fic that I started writing when I was at a hotel a month ago, and I only finished it last night *facepalm* Sad I know.

This is almost slightly AU, just because the characters are so unlike themselves. Harry is a goon, Ron is normal, and Hermione is a popular sexy person Lmao.

Disclaimer: The things your recognize are JKRs, not mine.

All You Had to do Was Ask


"...Harry? Harry! Come back to earth man!" Ron yelled in his ear, snapping his fingers in front of Harry's face. Still nothing. Ron sighed.

SMACK.

"Ow!" Harry exclaimed, scowling at his best friend, "What the bloody hell was that for?" Ron sat back and crossed his arms over the front of his chest.

"Oh I don't know. Maybe it's just the fact that I've been trying to get your attention for the past five minutes!" Harry stared at him blankly.

"You Have?" he questioned in obvious awe.

"No, I was trying to get the other Harry's attention," Ron retorted.

"Oh, okay," Harry said distantly, turning his gaze back to the other side of the room. Ron rolled his eyes. He was staring at her, again. It had become Harry's favorite hobby; one could go as far as calling it an obsession. Sometimes Ron had to slap Harry on the back, reminding him to breathe. It was rather annoying, actually.

"Oh bloody hell Harry, just go over there and ask her out!" Ron exclaimed, incredibly frustrated. Harry swirled to face Ron, glaring at him.

"You know that is preposterous. I could never do that ..." he trailed off. Ron shook his head and looked over at her. She was in the midst of a group of giggling girls. She laughed and flipped her hair behind her shoulders, completely oblivious to the two watching her. Ron could see what he saw in her; he saw it once himself. But that had all changed now. Ron was perfectly happy with the girl of his dreams, Luna Lovegood. Luna was everything Ron could want, and then some; smart, pretty, funny, easy going ... and those were only a few of the things he loved about her. Ron smiled at the thought. He looked back over to Harry. His best friend had found the girl of his dreams too, he just didn't know it. Harry had that dreamy look in his eyes and a stupid smile on his face that would make anyone want to throw up. Ron looked back to the group of girls. They were all packing up their books, getting ready to go to their next class. Hermione shoved a book in her bag, and then dug around in one of the pockets. She pulled her hand back out, grasping a lip gloss. How did he know what lip gloss was? Let's just say he has had a few ... encounters with it before. Hermione removed the cap and applied the smooth, fruity substance to her lips. She grinned and placed it back in her bag. Harry muttered something that sounded a lot like, "I have to get that." Just then Hermione looked in their direction. Ron was slammed into and pushed off his seat.

"Oy! What are you playin' at?" Ron scowled, rubbing his leg. Harry looked at him apologetically.

"Sorry mate, but she-" Ron held up his hand to stop Harry from continuing.

"Don't, I already know." Ron sighed. "In your hurried attempt to make it look like you weren't drooling over her, you managed to knock me off my chair, FOR THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK!" Ron exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. "Honestly mate, my a.ss is starting to bruise."

"Sorry mate, maybe you should stop sitting next to me," Harry said, grinning sheepishly.

"Maybe you should ask her out," Ron muttered under his breath.

"What?" Harry asked, looking at him.

"I said maybe you should help me up!" Ron said, grinning and holding his hand up. Harry chuckled and nodded, grabbing Ron's outstretched hand and pulling him up. Ron looked back to Hermione as he brushed himself off. She was coming their way.

"Hey guys," Hermione said cheerfully, coming to a stop next to Harry and Ron. Harry was fumbling with something in his bag, so Ron replied.

"Hey Hermione," he said, smiling at her.

"Are you guys ready to go? Defense Against the Dark Arts starts soon," she informed them matter-of-factly.

"Yep, just have to grab my things," Ron said, picking up his books and shoving them lazily in to his bag. Harry was still digging around in his bag, so Ron nudged him. Harry jumped; a startled look on his face. “What?" he scowled.

"Are you ready to go, mate?" Ron asked, eyeing his best friend carefully. Harry looked confused for a moment, and then his cheeks turned a deep shade of crimson.

"Oh! Oh yeah, yeah. Let's go," he said, picking up his bag. They walked to their next class together. They filed in to the room and took their usual seats at the front of the room.

"Everyone take your seats," a voice from the back of the room said. Everyone turned around to face their teacher and Ron grinned

"Please take your wands out everyone," Bill Weasley said, "we're practicing stunning spells today." There was a murmur throughout the room, and Ron was just about to open his mouth when Bill continued.

"I know you all know stunning spells. But the ones you know are very small and minor. What I am about to teach you will have your opponent knocked out for hours, if done appropriately." Ron looked at Harry and raised his eyebrows, and Harry responded by grinning mischievously.

"The curse of course," Bill paused, looking around, "is the Imobilatus MaximusCurse." Bill finished, along with Harry and Ron under their breath. Everyone who was in the D.A. the previous year already knew the curse, so basically most of the class.

After an hour of the trio and Neville being bored out of their minds, stunning a rat then muttering the counter curse numerous times, Harry became a little too entranced in Hermione and her application of lip gloss. In mid chant, he looked up and saw Hermione putting on more of the wonderfully fruity substance. He missed the rat and hit Hermione's hand, causing her to drop the lip gloss, not being able to move her fingers. She looked at her hand, horrified.

"Oh my gosh, Hermione! I am so sorry!" Harry exclaimed, cheeks positively red. She was sent to the hospital wing, escorted by Neville, whose pinkie was hit in the act. After the two left, Ron turned to Harry.

"You twit," Ron smirked. Harry looked up at him and glared.

"Shut up. I did get something good out of this though," Harry said excitedly.

"Oh? And what might that be?" Ron raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"Oh, nothing..." Harry grinned, the dreamy look glazing over his eyes. Ron looked at him curiously, but just then the bell rang signaling the end of class. The two gathered up their things and made their way back to the Gryffindor Tower. Once in the common room, they plopped down in their usual chairs, Harry positively beaming. Ron eyed him suspiciously.

"Okay, mind telling me what you are so happy about?" Harry looked around the room to make sure the coast was clear, which made Ron even more curious.

"I found," Harry began, digging in his pocket, “this!" He pulled his hand out of his pocket and held his palm out. Lying in his hand was a small tube of lip gloss. Ron looked at his best friend, one eyebrow cocked.

"Mate, listen to me closely. YOU ARE A NUTTER!" Ron said, smacking Harry on the side of the head.

"Ow! What the hell was that for?" Harry said, scowling. Ron just laughed.

"Okay, so now inform me; why is this lip gloss so important?" Harry gasped.

"Oh no no my friend, this is not just any lip gloss, it isthe lip gloss," Harry replied, the dreamy look coming over him again. Ron looked at him like he was positively insane.

"Mate, you need some serious help." Harry scowled again.

"I do not. I can finally find out what this stuff tastes like..." A look of horror glimpsed his expression, but was quickly replaced with evident eagerness. Harry glanced around again, and then unscrewed the cap. As Harry was applying the lip gloss, Ron looked up to see Hermione, Parvati, and Lavender entering the common room. Ron smirked as they walked over to them, approaching Harry from behind. Ron looked back to Harry, who was beaming.

"What?" Harry grinned wider.

"Strawberry!" he said excitedly, almost like a little kid over a piece of candy. Ron stared at him incredulously.

"You couldn't have read it off the wrapper?" Harry opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted as Hermione came walking around the couch, looking absolutely amused.

"You know Harry," Hermione said as she bent down to him, "You didn't have to deliberately jinx me to get the lip gloss." She plucked the small tube from his fingers. He just stared at her, jaw hanging. Ron cleared his throat in attempt to snap his friend out of it. Harry snapped his gaze to Ron, who eyed him, raising his eyebrows to Hermione. Harry nodded and looked back to Hermione, who was now applying the substance to her own lips.

"J-jinx? Her-Hermione tha--that was an acc-acciden---oh god," Harry stammered. Hermione rubbed her lips together, and then leaned back over Harry.

"You know, Harry," she said in a quiet, seductive tone, "if you wanted to know what it tasted like, all you had to do was ask." With that, she closed the distance between the two, and Ron smirked. His best friends finally did it. Maybe Harry would shut up once in awhile now. They pulled apart.

"By the way, it's watermelon," she said, grinning. Ron got up and left the common room, chuckling at Harry's beaming face.

"I wonder if Luna has watermelon..." Ron wondered out loud, going off in search of his own means of lip moisturizer.

A/N: Okay, so this only took me two years to finish. I'm sorry, I've had this written for so long, and I'm just now getting around to posting it. Originally this was supposed to be a one-shot, but reviewers convinced me to add a second part. So well, I hope you like it!

The Do's and Don'ts in Love

Ron walked down the hall chuckling to himself. He was happy for his two best friends; they had finally gotten together and were now probably snogging senseless on the Gryffindor common room couch. Ron was perfectly okay with this, it just gave him more time to spend with the love of his life. He started spacing out, thinking of the possibilities of watermelon lip gloss, when he ran smack-dab into the last person he wanted to see: none other than Draco Malfoy. Ron was pushed down onto the floor.

“Watch where you're going, Weasel-King!” Draco scowled at him, pointing his wand at Ron's chest. Ron looked from his wand to Draco.

“Weasel-King?” Ron said, smirking as he stood back up, “Honestly Malfoy, I would have thought that you would have figured out that Weasel-King isn't exactly an insult now-a-days.” Draco looked baffled, and then smirked again.

“Whatever you say,” he said, brushing past Ron, “Weasel-queen,” he finished in a low tone, and then stalked off. Ron just looked after him in disbelief. He burst out in a fit of giggles and started walking again. Ron figured it was best to let Malfoy think that he had won. Truth was, Draco Malfoy had become, well, a wuss. Ron shook his head, and just then he reached his destination. He stepped quietly inside, not wanting to receive evil glares from the librarian. He looked around, and his eyes fell immediately on her usual place. Sure enough, she was there.

She was sitting at a table, her nose buried in a book. Her long blonde hair fell in waves, framing her face perfectly. She was chewing on her thumb nail; a cute habit she had when she concentrated. She may not have been perfect to the world, but to Ron, she was his world and she was perfect. A stupid grin came over his face as he watched her. He snuck up around behind her and put his hands over her eyes.

“Guess who!” he said giddily.

“Someone who is irritating me?” He rolled his eyes.

“Try someone you love.”

“Like I said, someone who is irritating me.”

His heart sank and he took his hands off of her face. He pulled out the chair next to her and sank down. He eyed her, studying her features and expression. Now that he was close up, her face looked strained and her entire body tense.

“Honey … what's wrong?” he asked carefully. She sighed, running a hand through her hair, and then looked at him.

“I'm sorry Ron. I didn't mean that. I am just really stressing over an exam I have coming up.” A wave of relief spread over Ron. At least it was nothing he'd done. He stood up and stood behind her, massaging her shoulders. She rolled her head back, which meant Ron was doing a “Do.” Ron had learned quite quickly the “Do's” and “Don'ts” with women. For example, he had to “Do” agree with the said woman at all times, hence the Do. He had to “Do” respect “girl time.” One “don't” he had learned the quickest was the thing men dreaded most: The Seven Days. Those seven days were hell for any man who is in the presence of a woman. While there are only about four of the “bad” days, there are the “pre” days, which are even worse. The “Don't” in the matter would be the “Don't touch Don't speak Don't do Don't breathe Don't think,” or in short terms, stay as far away as possible. But, he had to “Do” be lovey-dovey when she wanted to be, or risk severe punishment. The list of Do's and Don'ts went on forever, and Ron only knew some of the list.

“Women,” he muttered to himself.

“Hm?” Luna asked lazily, too focused to really pay attention to what he said. Ron cursed himself.

“Oh, uh, nothing dear, nothing. Hey,” he said, rubbing his thumbs along her spine, making her shiver, “Why don't you take a break?” Ron asked hopefully. Luna tilted her head back at him and his hands stopped. She smiled at him.

“I'd like that.” He smiled back at her and she collected her things. She slung her bag over her shoulder as she stood up, and then pulled out a small tube.

“Oh bloody hell,” Ron muttered under his breath. Luna stopped, her hand halfway to her lips.

“What?” she asked him. Ron chuckled to himself.

“Nothing.” Luna shrugged and applied the substance to her lips, giving them a nice shine. Ron wondered if Harry and Hermione were still going at it in the Gryffindor common room. His thoughts were interrupted by Luna taking his hand. They smiled at each other and then left the library. They didn't have any particular destination; they just kept walking, climbing a staircase if they came to one.

Soon they came to a hallway with a tapestry on one side and a door on the other. Ron cocked his head at Luna, and she looked back at him and winked. That was all he needed. He pulled her over to the door he knew so well, squeezed her hand, and then opened the door. He was shocked at the sight.

It was a romantic setting; red silk hangings on the walls, candles everywhere, and an enchanted harp in the corner. In the middle of the room in front of the fireplace sat a furry rug and two couches. On one of the couches were Harry and Hermione, engrossed in a make-out session. Ron cleared his throat loudly, causing Harry to jump and fall of the couch.

“R—Rrron! Hi - Hi! Wha - what are you doing here?” Harry asked nervously, glaring at him.

“Sorry mate, didn't know anyone would be in here,” Ron replied sheepishly, “besides, I thought you guys were going at it in the common room.”

“Well, we were,” Harry started, standing back up, “but we got kicked out.” Hermione was blushing a brilliant shade of crimson. Ron looked back at Luna, who was also blushing.

“Well …” she began, blushing deeper, “there are two couches …" Ron grinned, and looked back to Harry. Harry shrugged and sat down next to Hermione with an arm around her. Ron guided Luna over to the other couch. They sank down together semi-awkwardly. Harry and Hermione were already lip-locked. The harp began playing a beautiful song. Ron looked into Luna's eyes. Her brilliant blue eyes sparkled back at him.

“Would … you like to dance?” he asked her. She looked confused for a moment, but then smiled.

“I'd love to.” He stood up and offered his hand to her. She took it, and he took her in his arms. They swayed back and forth to the beat of the harp, the melodic rhythm was magical. She laid her head on his shoulder, and he took in the sweet smell of her hair. He kissed the top of her head. She pulled back and looked at him, her eyes twinkling. He leaned down and caught her lips with his. The kiss was short, but full of passion. They pulled apart and went back to their swaying. Ron licked his lips.

Heh, cherry, he thought to himself. He grinned as he realized just how wondrous lip gloss could be. Fruity lip gloss was definitely a “Do” on Ron's list.

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