In a day that holds so much sadness

Rosali

Rating: PG13
Genres: Angst, Drama
Relationships: Lily & James
Book: Lily & James, Books 1 - 5
Published: 13/10/2004
Last Updated: 10/11/2004
Status: in_progress

The entire Wizardring Community is celebrating. The Dark Lord is gone. But at what cost? Was it really worth it?

Chapters

1. Their doomed fate

2. Choices made

3. Crumpling from Within

4. Happiness in Dark Times

1. Their doomed fate

In a Day that Holds so Much Sadness

CHAPTER I Their doomed fate

A/N: This is going to be a very short fic. I have been wondering for some time now how it was, October 31st 1981. Hope you enjoy it, even though you know how it ends.

When they woke up, they would’ve never imagined what that day held. No one knew of the prophecy, no one thought peace and grieve were approaching by the passing hour that Halloween.

Despite the fear and the war, all wizardring houses were overflowing with decorations and happiness, celebrating the Wizardring World’s day. The eve in which all witches and wizards were celebrated. Even muggles knew of this day, and honoured it.

But there were two couples that in spite of the joy, also held fear and uncertainty in their hearts, in the back of their minds; the Potters and the Longbottoms.

That night the four of them gathered in a round office, having left their children with the Hogwarts elves by the time being… oh their blessed and doomed children!

‘Welcome! It is such a pity that we must get together in such disgraceful situation. Please take a seat.’ A tall and imposing man, with a long, grey beard and twinkling blue eyes behind half-moon spectacles welcomed the four.

‘It is true, Albus. We must decide how we’ll protect ourselves and the children. At least by this night,’ said a woman with round face, dark brown hair and well-put form. A high rank auror.

Dumbledore sighed. ‘Indeed, Alice. Today, the day of all hallows is the most dangerous day for young Neville and young Harry. Such terrible price we must pay for doing what’s right,’ he lamented.

‘There’s no point in rambling about those things right now. We must decide where we’ll be hiding tonight Albus.’ Tall and handsome. Messy black hair sprayed to his neck and hazel eyes burning with determination. James Potter stood, putting a hand energetically on the desk.

‘Yes, James, you’re right,’ Dumbledore said in a calm voice.

‘Honey, sit down please. Let’s focus only in a place right now.’ A very beautiful, red haired young woman put a hand on her husband’s arm. Her emerald green eyes betrayed pain and too many things seen, but they were still so beautiful.

‘Yes, James. Lily is right. We must not let our emotions in the way. We must think of our children as possible saviours of the Wizardring World in the future,’ said a deep voice from the far corner. Frank Longbottom, in an all black robe, decorated only by two golden cords, one in each side said. He was a man of few words, but an amazing wizard and an even better person. His dark hair fell to his forehead and his dark blue eyes showed deep concern.

‘They’re one year old for crying out loud!’ James cried, finally letting the pressure and concern get to him. Lily stood and hugged him, resting her head on his back. You could feel her eyes filling with tears. James sagged and sighed, he sat back down. ‘I’m sorry, I really am’

‘No reason to be sorry, we understand perfectly,’ Dumbledore said sympathetically. ‘Now, where would be the best place to stay overnight?’

‘We have thought of a country house near the Netherlands. It’s a familiar’s,’ Frank said gravely. They were debating it right now, but after the Proteus Charm was cast, none of them would be able to say how to get there, except the Secret Keeper.

Dumbledore nodded. ‘Very well, Frank. That sounds pretty safe for now. Who will be your Secret Keeper?’

Alice bit her lip. ‘We still don’t know. The only one we trust enough has nothing to do with this, and I wouldn’t want her in danger’

‘In these moments, everyone is involved, whether they want it or not. If we fail to protect Neville and Harry, then not even them will stand a chance,’ Dumbledore pointed.

Frank held her by the arms. ‘We have discussed this already Alice. Jenna said she would be glad to do it. Even if she’s not exactly involved, we have no other choice,’ he said softly.

Alice looked away for a moment and then turned her gaze to her husband’s and nodded. ‘I know. We should summon her, I guess,’ she almost whispered.

Dumbledore gave her an encouraging smile and turned to Lily and James, already knowing who their secret keeper would be. ‘Summon him?’ he asked. They nodded.

James pulled out a small mirror, carved on the edges and stared into it. ‘Padfoot, you there?’

Moments later, the surface of the mirror rippled and a handsome, long-haired man appeared there. He was looking extremely worried. ‘Any progress?’

‘We’re ready. Come please’

‘James, we got to talk. I don’t t reckon-‘

‘Just come,’ he said and Sirius disappeared from the surface, saying nothing and with a grim expression. James sighed heavily. ‘He’ll take a little while. Is Jenna close by?’

Frank nodded. ‘She’s ten minutes from here. I’ll send Alcione right now.’ He whistled and a small owl came fluttering quickly through the window.

It landed in Alice’s hand. She whispered something in its ear and the owl disappeared immediately.

Ten minutes later, there was a knock on the door. Dumbledore waved his hand and it opened. ‘Welcome, Jenna’

A plump little woman came in timidly. She smiled when she saw her cousin. ‘Hello, Master Dumbledore,’ she said with a heavy eastern American accent.

‘Good Merlin! Don’t call me that, please. I don’t reckon I deserve it. Professor or just Albus would be quite all right,’ he said with a warming smile. It was amazing how he could appear so calm and cool-headed, even in the most difficult of times.

She laughed. ‘Of course you do… but I’ll call you professor if it makes you more comfortable’

‘Thank you, Jenna,’ he said with another smile and then turned serious. ‘You are aware of what this implicates, right Miss Hofflong?’

She sighed. ‘Yes, I am, professor Dumbledore. But if what my cousin has told me is indeed true. Then I’ll be honoured to be trusted with such a responsibility,’ she said honestly.

Alice sighed heavily.

‘It’s ok, you don’t have to worry about it Alice. I’ll be all right as long as no one knows I’m your Secret Keeper’

‘I know. I am just sorry you have to carry such a weight’

‘It is no weight, my dear’

Alice smiled and nodded. ‘All right. Here I go.’ She walked to her cousin and tapped her wand to her cousin’s head, ‘Proteum secreto,’ she said and leaned forward to tell her the location of the house they were staying for the next two nights’

A light surrounded Jenna and then it vanished. ‘It’s done. Thank you Alice,’ she smiled reassuringly.

Alice hugged her tight, tears escaping her eyes. ‘Thank you, Jenna’

Dumbledore clapped his hands and smiled. ‘Then you should be heading to your location. Young Neville is with the house elves.’ Alice and Frank nodded and walked out.

‘You be careful,’ Dumbledore and James called in unison.

Minutes later, Sirius Black was appearing in the door of the Headmaster’s office.

***

2. Choices made

In a Day that Holds so much Sadness

CHAPTER II

Choices made

`Sirius, so good you could join us,' Dumbledore received the stunning black-haired man.

`Padfoot,' James greeted him with a hug.

`Sirius, I can't tell you how grateful I am you're doing this!' Lily wrapped her arms around him, crying soundlessly.

Sirius sighed and hugged her back. `He's my godson, Lily. And you know I'd do anything for James or you.'

Lily smiled and wiped her eyes. She took in some air and faced her former Headmaster. `So, where to now. I was thinking of my sister's house. She's a muggle after all. You could put some incantations on it or something.' You could tell just by looking at her that she was barely holding up.

`I wouldn't want to put your sister in danger. I'd rather if we stayed somewhere by ourselves, don't you reckon?'

`I have to agree with James here. It would be better if you were by yourselves.'

Lily sagged, they were right. `What place have you got in mind then?'

`I would suggest Godric's Hollow. It's yours after all, right James?'

James considered this for a moment, and so did Dumbledore. `That could be a good place,' Dumbledore mused.

Lily smiled. James family's old house seemed a perfect place. It was in a small island; a muggle island. She glanced at her husband. `What do you reckon darling?'

`I think it's our best choice,' he agreed. `Sirius, are you ready?'

He came up, a determined look in his grey eyes. `James, I don't reckon using me would be the most succeeded decision.' He saw both his friends' horrified looks. He was about to explain himself when James spoke.

`And why exactly would that be?' he asked, clearly angry at his best friend.

`No, James! That's not it!'

James was about to reply, when Lily put a hand on his arm, her emerald green eyes were sparkling with tears. `Sirius, it's ok if you don't want to risk it.'

`Like hell it is! What do you-`

`James!' Sirius raised his voice. `That's not it. You know I would gladly die for you mate. The thing is-`

`Then what on earth is the matter!'

`Listen to me, will you?! Who is the closest person to you two? Me! Who do you think they'll reckon is the Secret Keeper? Me! Understand now?'

Lily and James listened. Lily looked away, blinking tears; she swallowed hard and buried her face in James' shoulder. James sighed. `You're right. But what do you recommend we do? Remus most certainly can't tonight.'

`I know he can't, Prongs. I was thinking-`

`Please don't say Peter.'

Sirius nodded heavily and before James could argue back, he continued. `They know Wormtail is the last one we'd go to. Merlin! I don't even think they consider him a threat at all!'

Lily looked at James. `It is true, honey. As mean as it sounds, it is the truth. I think we should do what Sirius says.'

James directed her a questioning glance and then sagged. `I'm not convinced, but she's right; somewhat.'

Sirius and Lily smiled. Dumbledore nodded. `Shall I summon Pettigrew then?'

The three nodded at the same time. Dumbledore bowed in acceptance and pronounced a few words. A puff of light green smoke appeared in mid air and Peter Pettigrew was in the middle of it. He was at a restaurant, having lunch, looking pleased about something. No one but Sirius noticed it; he narrowed his eyes a bit but figured it was just his own desire to be the Secret Keeper for the Potters.

`Peter. Please come to my office,' Dumbledore said.

Peter jumped as if he had just seen a ghost and took his hand to his chest. `D- Dumbledore, you scared the soul out of me,' he said nervously.

`Come now please.'

`Y- Yes, I'll be right here.'

The puff of smoke vanished in the air and Peter disappeared.

Ten minutes later, there was a knock on the door and a small, round man appeared in the door of the Headmaster's office.

`Good morning Peter,' Dumbledore greeted.

`Morning Headmaster.'

Dumbledore laughed. `I'm not your Headmaster anymore.'

He smiled back lightly. `Heh, sorry. I keep forgetting.'

`It's been three years!' Sirius pointed out with a laugh.

`Hey Padfoot.'

`Wormtail.' James said.

`Prongs! It's been a while eh?'

`Hello Peter.'

Peter blushed a little. `H- Hi Lily. What's the matter, where is Harry?' he asked with a worried tone.

`That's exactly why we're all here, Peter,' James told his friend.

`Harry. Prophecy. Halloween… ring any bells?' Sirius said sarcastically, waving his hand in front of his face.

Peter looked at him and gasped. `Oh my! That's right! So what do you need me for?' he asked.

James sighed and walked to him, placing both hands over his shoulders. `Peter, we need to go on hiding, at least for tonight. Normally we would ask Sirius to be our secret keeper, but they are no fools; they know that.'

`So we want you to be our Secret Keeper instead. We know we can trust you and it would mean the world to us.'

For a moment, a strange look crossed Peter's eyes and then he suppressed it. He nodded. `I would be honoured Lily,' he said and managed a weak smile.

James smiled back and moments later, he was embracing his friend in gratefulness. `Thank you Peter,' he said, keeping the tears from his brown eyes.

Sirius looked at them with a little envy. He really did want to be the Secret Keeper, but that was the best option. Peter would tell him anyway after the enchantment was cast.

They pulled apart and turned to Dumbledore, who nodded. James leaned to Peter's ear, whispering something. Then he pulled out his wand and pointed at him `Fidelius,' he cast.

A yellow-ish light surrounded Peter and sank into his skin, provoking a whimper to escape his lips. He had his eyes closed and his chest rose and fell rapidly. He opened them again and took a deep breath. `It's done,' he said in a low voice.

-->

3. Crumpling from Within

In a day that holds so much Sadness

A/N: I said it would be a short fic. I did the outline and it’s scheduled for 7 to 8 chapters. The chapters are short, but very intense from where I stand. Hope you like it J And please R&R.

CHAPTER III

Crumpling from within

After the charm was performed, and Peter gone into hiding; Lily, James and Sirius went down to the kitchen. Harry and Neville were playing with the little house elves, who were squeaking happily to have babies under their charge. As soon as they entered, they went silent and bowed.

‘Good morning Mrs. Potter,’ one of the elves said.

‘Good morning, Plinky,’ Lily said softly while staring at her little baby boy, playing unworriedly with Neville.

‘Good morning Mr. Potter,’ the same elf addressed James.

He smiled. ‘It’s good to see he’s giving you no trouble,’ he replied and wrapped an arm around Lily’s shoulders, sensing what she was feeling, for he was feeling just the same. Not fair at all for two little boys that barely spoke to be loaded with such heavy burden.

‘I don’t know Prongs. I don’t know if to take that as a compliment or an offence,’ Sirius laughed.

Harry registered his godfather’s and his parents’ presence and turned to them. He stood with the help of his small hands and walked clumsily to them. ‘Mama!’ he said, reaching out his arms so she would pick him up.

Lily smiled at him and James carried the baby boy. ‘How’s my champ?’ he asked with a proud smile.

Harry pointed at the other boy. ‘Nevi,’ he said with a bright smile; full of life and innocence.

Lily took his little hand. ‘Yes darling, that’s Neville.’

Alice and Frank came in and Lily spun to face them. ‘Neville, baby. Let’s go,’ Alice said to her son.

Neville stood with some difficulty, and, leaning on the wall, he walked to his mother’s arms.

‘We’ll be going, ‘kay Harry?’ James told his son.

Harry pouted. Lily smiled softly and took her finger to his lips. ‘Now, now. No pouting, love.’

Sirius gave a bark of laughter. ‘You know, that can stay like that forever if you keep doing it.’

Harry gasped and bit his bottom lip.

James laughed at his friend and shook his head. ‘Ready?’ he asked. Harry nodded and James turned to Alice and Frank, ‘good night, and… good luck’ he said hesitantly.

Lily looked at them. ‘I know everything will turn out just fine,’ she said softly, though she sounded unconvinced.

‘Good night Lily, Good night James. Good luck to you too,’ Frank addressed the other couple.

‘Good bye Alice,’ Sirius bowed slightly and Alice smiled.

‘Good night Sirius’

They all gathered around an old teapot and they took the portkey that had brought them to the school.

When they were gone, Alice sagged and looked at her husband. ‘They’re so young, Frank,’ she said, mortified.

‘I know, honey. But it’s not like they have a choice.’

‘They should’ve never joined the order in the first place, that way they’d be safe at least for a little longer.’

‘That is not for you to decide,’ Frank said gravely.

‘I know, but I can’t help it.’ She pulled Neville closer to her and held him tight.

Frank wrapped his arms around his family and held them for a little while. The imminent was coming, and all they could do was hope for the best and wait for the worst. He pulled away, frowning in concern. ‘It’s not certain, Alice.’

‘I know. I know Frank but that’s not why I’m crying’ she exclaimed.

‘Then what’s the matter?’

‘I feel like such a horrible person. I want it to be the Potter’s son, Frank! That’s why!’

‘Oh sweetheart!’ he said and moved a lock of dirty blond hair from her face. ‘That’s natural, no one wants their children to be attacked… or die. You’re not a horrible person’

Alice managed a small smile. ‘Let’s just hope it turns out all right,’ she said softly and they took the portkey they had been assigned.

***

Lily and James said their respective good byes to Sirius and he parted in his flying motorbike. Sirius had a terrible feeling about this whole thing, but imagined it was just the nervousness of the night.

He decided to go to a very renown Night Club at Knockturn Alley his brother had been so kind in showing him when he graduated. ‘You’ll see who are the big guys’, he had said. Sirius always snorted when he remembered that night. Yeah, the big guys that killed you, you fool, he thought.

Riding through the night, he didn’t know why memories started flooding his mind. When they had first became animagus to keep Remus company; how Lily turned James down one million times before she realised she liked him too; The celebration when she had finally agreed to go out with him. He had very fond memories of his two friends.

***

‘Sirius, I need to ask you something’

‘What happened?’ he asked panicked.

James frowned. ‘What do you mean?’

‘You never call me Sirius’

‘Ah, uh… sorry,’ he said idly.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. ‘What’s the matter, James?’

‘Well, Lily and I- we have been going out for a little over a year-‘

‘Ah, I know’

‘What do you mean, you now?’

‘Who do you think you’re talking to Prongs?’

‘Erm…’

‘Yes. If I didn’t know what you’re about to ask me, then I’d stop calling myself your best mate’

James smiled weakly and relaxed; it was always great to talk to Sirius and see things the way he did.

‘You’re very young, not even twenty. But I reckon you should go for it’

‘You think?’

‘Uh-huh’

James grinned and hit him on the back affectively. ‘Thank you, mate!’

‘Anytime, love bird’

‘Uhm… Sirius?’

‘Oh, no. Not again’

‘Heh, sorry. Well, you’re my best friend; more than my best friends. You like.. well, you know. Would you?’

‘I would love to’

‘Brilliant!’ He hugged his friend. ‘And you know, I-‘

‘Yeah… me too, Prongs’

‘Thanks Padfoot’

He winked at his bestest friend.

***

He finally got to “The Muddy Heaven” and parked his motorbike, with a burning sensation inside him; it was as if he had a knot in his stomach that was finding its way up to his throat and making him feel… well, funny.

He shook his head and ordered a firewhisky at the bar. He started drinking it and involuntarily picked up on diverse conversations. It could be a great thing to be a dog animagus, but sometimes it was just annoying or overwhelming.

He tried to push away all the voices he was hearing; but just as he was managing to do it, he picked a name he recognised. Why would his name be mentioned in a place like this? He asked himself with a frown.

A/N: How expressive can men be uh? I thought it was funny. I’m sorry if I’m not as expressive as usual, but RL can be tough L

4. Happiness in Dark Times

In a day that holds so much sadness

A/N: Two chapters again lol. Don’t get used to it, in two weeks I’ll have finals and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to write much. Anyway, I’ll try to write more soon. Geez! I’ve also promised I would try and work time for Was and Will Be and for What is love? That’s what you get when you start three fics and a novel at about the same time *rolls eyes*

CHAPTER IV

Happiness in Dark Times

After Sirius left, Lily went to their small room and put Harry in t he crib that sat at the foot of the bed. He cooed and smiled at his mother’s eyes and love, and slowly drifted off to sleep, holding Lily’s thumb tightly, as if it would be the last time he did so.

She walked out of the room with tears in her eyes and went straight to her husband’s arms. He didn’t ask anything, he knew what she was feeling, for he felt it too. James held Lily close and shushed her, until the sobs subsided. He pulled away and smiled, ‘Better now?’ he asked.

Lily returned his smile and kissed him softly on the lips. ‘I love you James.’

‘I love you too, Lily,’ he said as he wrapped his arms around her, but now it was different. He started kissing her neck and she moaned, giving him full access. James smiled and continued trailing down to her shoulder, where the loos tee was falling.

Lily giggled and turned around; putting her hands around his neck. She nibbled his nose with hers. She then kissed him deeply and started placing more kisses all over his face.

He ran a hand down her right arm and then moved it back to her cheek, caressing it. His hand then went to her left shoulder and went down to her waist. He started pulling it out.

Somehow, they had managed to get to bed and as Lily slept, James stood and went to the crib. He looked at his son with pride and sadness. It was absolutely not fair… at all.

***

Dumbledore was at Lily and James’ place in London. He had come to look at baby Harry, but somewhat, he didn’t seem all that happy. When they were alone, James came next to his old Headmaster.

‘Albus? What’s the matter, aren’t you happy for us?’ he asked

Dumbledore looked at his pupil and smiled. ‘Of course I’m happy James. I’m just worried,’ he confessed.

‘I know, but we’ve put up a number or wards. I don’t reckon they will be able to find us; least of all hurt us.’ James grinned.

‘James, there is something you need to know.’

He sobered; it was never good when Dumbledore said something like that. ‘What is it?’

Albus sighed. ‘Almost a year ago, someone made a prophecy to me. I didn’t think it was relevant back then, because you didn’t fit the description given. But now it is all changed with little Harry arriving and the present situation’

‘What are you trying to say?’

‘The prophecy made pointed to a baby born as the seventh month dies. To those who had thrice defied the Dark Lord. It speaks of Voldemort and this baby’s power to vanquish him; to kill him or the other way round. And I’m afraid that there are only two babies that fit that description. Yours and the Longbottoms’. I am very worried that he might try and hurt the little ones,’ he said gravely.

James listened intently, making no gestures at all. When Dumbledore finished speaking, a huge weight fell upon him. And he couldn’t even begin to describe all these feelings he had inside right now. He finally nodded, ‘thank you for telling me, Albus,’ he just said and took off without a word. Dumbledore sighed heavily.

***

She woke up not too long after James had stood from bed; feeling he as missing. She took a place next to him and kissed Harry, and then James.

James pushed all the thoughts out of his mind and smiled at Lily. ‘It’s all going to be all right,’ he said softly and kissed her lightly. ‘But I don’t think I’ll get any sleep tonight’

‘Me either. So what shall we do?’

James grinned. ‘Well, it’s Halloween’s eve… we can decorate’

Lily nodded happily. ‘Better than sit around and worry, right?’

‘Exactly!’

While they summoned and put all the things around the small house, Lily stared at her husband silently. He felt her gaze upon him and turned around. ‘What?’ he asked.

Lily laughed softly. ‘Nothing.’

‘Liar’

‘How could you tell?’

‘It’s that little thing you do with your nose when you’re not saying something’

Lily rolled her eyes and then closed the distance between them. ‘Well, actually there is something.’

‘What is it?’

‘Uhm… are you sure you want to know?’

‘As long as you don’t tell me you’re cheating on me with Wormtail, I’m open minded,’ he winked at her.

She giggled. ‘No, not with him.’

James stopped dead and looked at her with huge brown eyes.

Lily burst out laughing. ‘You should’ve seen your face,’ she said between fits of laughter.

James narrowed his eyes. ‘Very funny Mrs. Clown-face. well, what is it then?’ he asked, extremely curious.

‘I- I’m pregnant’

James flinched. ‘You’re- what?’ he blunted out.

Lily looked on t he verge of tears. ‘Aren’t you happy?’

James shook his head and came closer. ‘I couldn’t be happier,’ he said and kissed her deeply. When they pulled away, he smiled, ‘Now Moony will get the chance to be a godfather also!’ he exclaimed excitedly.

‘I love you so much’

‘You’re the love of my life,’ James told his wife and sat back down on the couch, as to take in the recent information.

***

A light tapping on his shoulder brought James from his restless sleep. He had been the past month on a mission in Timbuktu and had been down one man, Lily.

He hadn’t really realised how useful and necessary she was on his team until that mission. Dark times fell upon the wizardring world and it was their duty to try and keep it as safe as possible, even if it cost more than one valuable life.

They had lost members, friends and aurors; it was a constant grieve for the whole community; especially for the aurors and members of The Order of the Phoenix. James and Lily were in both associations, and had lost many good friends to the Death Eaters and Voldemort.

James squeezed his eyes reluctantly when the tapping became more insisting. ‘I’m not bloody going to Peru again to get you more mangos, Lily,’ he protested and took a pillow to put it on top of his head.

She tapped him even more intently. Finally, James threw the pillow to a side and turned to Lily. ‘What?’ he asked moodily; he hadn’t gotten a decent night of sleep in a month.

‘Uhm… I think I’m wet,’ she said timidly.

‘What are you talking about?’ he felt the bed under him and indeed, it was wet. He frowned, ‘what happened?’ he asked.

‘James, I think my- aaaargh!’ she screamed and made James jump so high, he fell off bed.

‘What the bloody hell?’ he asked, alarmed.

‘You idiot! The baby’s coming!’

‘The baby is- WHAT?! Get up, we need to get Lily to the hospital!’ Lily threw him a poisonous look. ‘Right. Lily. I’m- Ok I’ll pack.’ He stood with a jump and started looking around frantically.

‘JaAAAAAAAAAMES! Here, now! St. Mungos, immediately,’ she ordered.

‘All right. No panic. We’re going to St. Mungos. I’m going to be a father!’

Eight hours later, James was carrying a newborn that looked exactly like him… but he had Lily’s eyes. He looked up at his exhausted wife. ‘Lily… this is our baby… How shall we call him?’ he said softly.

Lily smiled tiredly. ‘Harry. Harry James Potter.’

‘Harry James Pot-.‘

Just then, the door slammed open and a grinning man appeared on the doorframe. ‘I came as soon as I heard,’ Sirius Black was saying, beaming with happiness.

James looked up. ‘Take a look at your godson, Harry James Potter.’

***

A/N: I know, nothing happens in this chapter, but I thought it necessary to deepen the feeling a little. Please R&R. And thank you for the reviews you’ve already sent, they encourage me to keep writing J