Childs Play

Strawberry Shortcake

Rating: PG13
Genres: Angst
Relationships: Draco & Ginny
Book: Draco & Ginny, Books 1 - 4
Published: 18/10/2004
Last Updated: 22/03/2005
Status: completed

Fleurdelis knows nothing of the man her mother scorns. She knows nothing of the life she could have had with her father. She knows nothing of a man named Draco Malfoy. Will one angry letter change that? Will it give her the life she always wished for?

Chapters

1. The Begining

2. My Sun and My Stars

3. Come Back for Me

4. Porcelain Dolls

5. Wish I Could Stay

6. All Noble

7. Let Me Tell You

8. Let Me Tell You - Revised

9. We Regret to Inform You..

10. I'm so sorry

1. The Begining

AN- Nothing Harry Potter is mine and I am sorry that I butcher the French language terribly.

<< French Translation>>

Dear Dad,

I used to pretend that you were just away on a long business trip and you could appear at any given time and sweep me off my feet while planting a chaste kiss on moms cheek and making her smile again. I’ve long ago given up that childhood fantasy.

I often wonder, do you even think of me? The daughter you left behind? The child you forgot about?

Uncle Ron brought mom flowers yesterday, Valentines day incase you didn’t know. Aunt Hermione arranged them really nice in an emerald vase that looked positively ancient, but when mom came down stairs and saw them she grew furious and hurled the vase at a cold stone wall. She then broke down in tears and cursed you in at least 10 different languages.

I keep asking people where you have gone to. Grandmother Molly tells me to hold my tongue. Grandmère tells me it would take a life time to explain. I don’t dare to ask mom. <<Grandma>>

Grandmère just mutters in French things like “Mon fils, mon fils. Pourquoi continuez-vous à faire des erreurs pareilles que votre père a fait ?”<<Grandma>> <<My son, my son. Why do you continue to make the same mistakes your father did?>>

Why dad? Why do you act like the man you claim to hate?

I know you won’t answer those questions. I know you are a coward. You want to know something? I think I hate you.

You are the reason mom doesn’t smile or laugh anymore. You are the reason mom is dead inside. You are the reason mom can’t stand to look at me.

J'ai utilisé pour penser c'était impossible de le détester autant que je vous déteste, mais j'ai découvert c'est très possible. Je le sens de tous les jours. Il mange loin à moi comme un acide animaux si dégoutants ne peuvent plus le portent. J'alors vous rends compte vous a réussi le bâtard diabolique. Vous avez fait mon enfance pire que votre propre. <<I used to think it was impossible to hate someone as much as I hate you, but I have discovered it is very possible. I feel it everyday. It eats away at me like an acid so foul animals can no longer carry it. I then realize you succeeded you evil bastard. You made my childhood worse than your own.>>

I speak in the language of the family you have forgotten. Do you even remember our tongues?

You disgust me.

Votre fille tendre, <<Your loving daughter>>

Flordelis

2. My Sun and My Stars

AN- Nothing Harry Potter is mine and I am sorry that I butcher the French language terribly.

<< French Translation>>

Dear Flordelis,

I think of you everyday. You haunt my steps and wander through my dreams. Your image, or what I imagine it to be, will never be forgotten in my mind.

I often wonder what you look like now. Do you still have my eyes? Did your strawberry blonde hair ever darken? Do you have freckles like your mother, or do you have my skin, pale as moon light? How tall are you? Did you receive my height or are you a petite thing like your mother?

Today is another terribly monotonous day in my life. Yes I still speak French, I have to because of where I live. On with my story, I wake up in the mornings thinking of you. I go to work at the sea side where I will think of you while dealing with the merpeople of the Atlantic Ocean. After work I will go home and think of you. I will look over old photographs of you, and that is the pitiful existence I call a life.

Don’t ask people where I’ve gone. They won’t tell you. They don’t know. I keep my identity a secret here and my location a secret there. It would be wise to say I lead a double life.

I miss you and your mother terribly. Even if you don’t believe it, I wish I could come home. Everyday I see the young families around me and I wish I had my family as well.

Does your mother ever talk about me? I miss her dearly. She is mon soleil, ma lune, et mes étoiles. She is my beginning and my end. By some terrible twist of fate we can no longer be together. Do not ask her, for she will not tell you. Though dear, please believe me when I say she loves you more than life itself and you are probably the only reason she stays alive.<<my sun, my moon, and my stars. >>

Je vous aime avec tout mon coeur. Vous êtes une partie de moi et n'importe que vous croyez, et vous êtes mon bébé, ma fille, mon Flordelis. << I love you with all my heart. You are a part of me and no matter what you believe, and you are my baby, my daughter, my Flordelis. >>

I will always be your loving Father. Please dear, do write back. I now have something to look forward to now.

Votre père tendre, <<Your loving father>>

Draco Malfoy

AN- THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED. NO MY TRANSLATION IS NOT PERFECT, I AM USING A FREE TRANSLATION PROGRAM BECAUSE I ONCE HEARD THAT THE MALFOYS ARE FRENCH. IF ANYONE HAS INFORMATION ON THAT PLEASE REVIEW, OR EMAIL ME.

3. Come Back for Me

AN- Nothing Harry Potter is mine and I am sorry that I butcher the French language terribly.

<< French Translation>>

Dear Draco,

I love you and yet, I hate loving you. I wish I could forget about you, oh I wish I could have that more than life itself. However you are a tattoo forever inked on my heart , something I deeply regret but is too beautiful to get rid of.

You make me feel like I’m breaking down. Like I’m out of place and will never fit in. Like no one understands me, or even wants to. Like I want to run away, but I can’t since I’m an adult and I have responsibilities. Like I want to lock my self in my room and scream so long and so loud that all grow accustom to the noise.

You make me feel incomplete.

I don’t know when I realized you were my other half. When I stopped screaming for you to go away and started screaming for you to come home. I don’t know when the change happened it just did.

I don’t, no rather can’t understand why you left me here. I think about it on and on and on again. I know you’re never coming back and I wonder if you can hear me, I’m waiting. You’ve gone away, I’m all alone a part of me is gone.

Flordelis thinks I hate her. In some sick perverted way I probably do. I probably hate her because I have to raise her on my own, and that is never what I pictured form me or my children. I probably hate her because she does everything I say for fear that I will start screaming and crying and I wanted a child with more spirit. I probably hate her because I see so much of you in her and it makes my heart ache so bad I can’t stand it.

Will you ever come home?

I want so badly to hate you, to never be able to forgive you but even as I just glance at an old picture of you I remember all the good things you did and all the hurt goes away….for a little while. It comes back every morning when I wake up in an empty bed that was made for two. It comes back when I sit at our dinning room table that was made for a small family which will never come in to existence. It even comes back when I look at Flordelis.

I will wait for you until the end of time, but I don’t think Flordelis will. Come back for her. Come back and make everything right in the world again. Come back for me.

In the spirit of true love,

Ginerva Malfoy

4. Porcelain Dolls

Dear Father,

The word itself sounds strange flowing from my lips. Father. What does that word even mean? Do you even fit the requirements?

I have to thank you. No matter how much I despise you I have to thank you for one thing. Today Mum read your latest letter and smiled. It wasn't one of those fake smiles she gives to everyone else; it was a genuine Ginerva Weasley smile. Like the ones she has in the pictures of you two together.

I don't understand why if you were so happy together you left her. I don't understand why you left me. In your last letter you professed so much love for us, yet you won't even come home.

Will I ever even see you again?

However happy you may be at this time, do not take my thanks to heart. For in the same breath that I thank you, I scorn your existence. For if you had never been than Mum would have never been broken. It is simple as that.

Mum refers to you as her addiction. Something she knows is bad for her, but she is so dependant on that she can never let it go.

I don't know how anyone can depend on you. You are a coward.

Do you understand that you are missing my life? All these years that you have been away, they will never be repeated, you will never get to experience them.

For how much longer do you think Mum will wait for you? How much longer will I wait for you?

At least come home for the woman you claim to love. She is breaking down with out you. She is like those porcelain dolls Grandmère will never let me touch. I think one day she is just going to shatter.

Come save her.

She whispers your name in the night. When she thinks I am to far away to hear. When she thinks I am lost in the land of dreams, she calls your name. She says it like a prayer with great reverence. However, I only ever heard her talk like that in the shade of the night beneath the covers on her outlandishly large bed.

Aunt Hermione tells me that one-day you will come home. She is the only one who believes in you.

Isn't that sad? Your own daughter doesn't believe in you, but the girl you tormented in school does.

Have a little faith she tells me.

Do you want to know what I tell her?

How can I have faith in something I can't see, and for all I know doesn't exist.

Your Spiteful Daughter,

Flordelis

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5. Wish I Could Stay

Dear Ginny,

I know that you may never be able to forgive me. You may look at everything I've done in the past 10 years and call me a coward.

You know what? That wouldn't be a lie.

I'm afraid. I'm afraid that I won't be able to become a good father or a good husband. That somehow I will end up just like him. That I will hurt you and make our daughter's life worse than mine.

I don't want to disappoint either of you.

I want to come back for you two, I really do, but you know what happened. You know what is stopping me.

I cannot face forces like that.

My living in Africa is for the better of all of us and you know that. We are just being selfish when we say we want to be united. If we did so Flordelis would be in harm, and I don't think I could bear that.

I don't want to put her in the same position he put me in. She is too good for that. She deserves better in life.

I wish you could forget about me, I wish you could hate me. I wish you could move on with your life and marry Potter like everyone expected you too. I wish you didn't have an illegitimate child. I wish you had more than a criminal fiancé. I wish you had more than whispered promises of an amazing future together.

But you don't.

I love you. I love you more than life itself and I think that everyday I am away from you another piece of me dies. Soon there will be nothing left of me. You made me believe I could be another type of person and I let you down. But I will always love you.

For as long as the sun continues to set and rise I will love you. For as long as the wind continues to blow I will love you. For as long as the rain fortifies the earth I will love you. I will love you until the end of time, and then some.

I understand if you won't wait for me. You probably want more than promises at this point in your life. But I will always be here in the spirit of love for you. Never forget me, because I will never forget you.

In the spirit of true love,

Draco Malfoy

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6. All Noble

Dear Draco,

I hate you! Je vous déteste! Yo odio tú! Ich hasse Sie! L'odio! Ik haat u! Odeio-o! Jeg hater De! I despise you! I dislike you! I abhor you! I scorn you! I detest you! I loathe you!

Just because I can use big fancy words too doesn't make them any truer. Don't you think for one second you can choose what I will and won't do with my life. Those are my decisions, mine only! You lost those privileges by running away.

Get over yourself. You say you are doing this for the well being of our family?

What a load of shit!

What family are you talking about? The family you have imagined us to be in your mind or the one we actually are, a father playing pretend in Africa, a mother who is mentally unstable, and a daughter who is but a wisp of disturbed air?

That is who we are. You do not get to paint pretty pictures of us in your mind of a beautiful wife who is waiting for the ok to get a new boy toy and the perfect daughter while I have to live the harsh reality. The world doesn't work that way.

Why do you get to be all noble and say that I can move on? Why do you get to decided what is the right thing to do for me? You are so selfish!

You say you are too scared to accept the responsibility to become a father? Suck it up. I didn't make myself pregnant we both did. This `family' is a joint responsibility. Kids do not come with manuals. You make it up as you go along.

I'm sick and tired of saying all the nice words and hoping that maybe one day you will come home. Screw that. You come home in a week or me and Fleurdelis go to Africa and drag you home.

You choice.

You can come face your past now, but remember even if you try to outrun it, you will never be able to. It will always come back to haunt you. It is a part of you then, now, and for the rest of you life.

In the spirit of true love,

Ginny Malfoy

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7. Let Me Tell You

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8. Let Me Tell You - Revised

Dear Fleurdelis,

I know that my bond with you isn’t as strong as your mother’s, but you have to listen and understand me. She is about to do something she will regret very much, and you need to stop her. She is going to come to Africa to bring me back to Europe, and she cannot do that.

Why, you may ask yourself. Why can’t he come back? Well you are about to find out.

12 years ago the war was still going on and it was dark confusing time. No one knew who the Death Eaters were and everyone was afraid. I was under a lot of suspicion because of my father who was at the right hand of the Dark Lord and had tainted our family name.

It was then, when the light rejected me and when I rejected the dark that your mother and I feel in love. It wasn’t planned and it surely wasn’t hoped for, but it happened nonetheless.

I was a neutral party in the war. I never declared my loyalties because they lay only to myself and because of that both side were out to color me black and white. Then the dark side found out about my one weakness. My love of your mother.

She was pregnant with you when she was abducted. It was a hard time and no one wanted to help me get her back because they were so caught up with their politics. It got confusing and somehow one of their leaders Cornelius Fudge ended up dead and that somehow got pinned on me. It was all very shady.

I ended up rescuing her mother, but she wouldn’t come with me to Africa. She said the deeds I had done wouldn’t matter, that no one would care. I didn’t believe her, so I ran.

Now that you know what happened you must stop your mother from coming here. For both of your safety.

I love you two too much for you to be putting your lives on the line for me. Persuade your mother not to come to Africa. Stop her at all costs. This is truly a life and death matter.

I know you will try your hardest and I thank you for it. Even if you do not understand now, one day you will, and on that day you will thank me.

Your Loving Father,

Draco Malfoy

AN- I am going to leave the corrupted link up until I finish the story so you guys can see when I update it. Sorry for the inconvenience.

9. We Regret to Inform You..

Dear Mr. Draco Malfoy,

We regret to inform you that upon entering Gabon to visit you at your residence your wife, Mrs. Ginerva Malfoy, and your daughter, Ms. Fleurdelis Malfoy, were mistaken for hostile forces. The muggle law enforcement agencies apprehended them when they could not produce passports and Ms. Malfoy drew her wand.

The details get quite sketchy here, but the common consensus has been that Mrs. Malfoy dove in front of your daughter protecting her from the muggle weapons called `guns'. Mrs. Ginerva Malfoy was shot 18 times and was whisked away to Liberville General Hospital along with Ms. Fleurdelis Malfoy, who despite her mother's efforts was shot twice.

Mrs. Ginerva Malfoy went to the Emergency Room or ER and underwent both a blood transfusion and a surgery, but did not pull through. Ms. Fleurdelis Malfoy underwent both a blood transfusion and a surgery and is now in a comatose state.

The doctors are unable to predict when your daughter will wake up. She is patient #1094, if you wish to visit her in the In Patient ward. As the African Association of Wizards is unaware of your connection/ responsibility, if any, to your daughter, we have issued several statements to the British Ministry of Magic to be distributed accordingly.

You have our deepest sympathies,

The African Association of Wizards

Ashur Mabsoone

Department of Magical Births and Deaths

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10. I'm so sorry

Dear Ginny,

Today is exactly 4 years 2 months and 16 days since the day that you died. That means this is letter number 1599. Often times I wonder why any higher being would leave me on this plain of existence while whisking you away, but I always remember, they were just giving me time to repent. Giving me a chance to right my wrongs.

They knew if they had taken me 1, 599 days ago I would have never made it to heaven.

I got into a fight with Fleurdelis today. Apparently I wasn’t supposed to use that emerald vase I got you for our first Valentines Day anymore. She hurled it against the wall and then broke down in tears screaming I would never be as good a parent as you were.

What cut the deepest was the fact that she is right. I will never hold a candle to your parenting capabilities.

When I came home with Fleudelis , I didn’t know what to do with her. I didn’t know anything about her.

When I came home I had no friends. Your family hated me. They blamed me for your death, and they weren’t wrong.

Dr. Granger …I mean Dr. Potter tells me that I am holding on to my feelings and the way I need to release them is by apologizing to Fleurdelis for everything I feel I have done to cause her pain. Including your death.

I wouldn’t know where to start. I am scared what she would say. I am scared what I would say.

Sometimes when I lay awake at night listening to Fleudelis’ less and less frequent sobs, I wonder if I made the right choice in not letting your parents raise her. I wonder if I’m doing a good job. I wonder if you would be proud of me.

Fleurdelis goes back to Hogwarts tomorrow. I am proud she is in Ravenclaw. I should have always expected her not to be in Gryffindor or Slytherin, it came as a pleasant surprise.

It still hurts when I think about the fact that I will never be able to say I love you Ginny again. It hurts that I stopped saying it 12 years early. It hurts that I will never be able to spend the night in our bed in the after glow of our lovemaking. It hurts that I will never be able to feel your touch again.

I’ve come to a decision about something very important right now and need to say farewell.

You’re always in my heart,

Draco Malfoy

Draco sealed the envelope and opened the locked drawer on the right side and lovingly placed the letter on the mounds of other sealed envelopes.

Letting out a sigh he rose out of his seat and walked into the hallway. The light tinkling of piano notes filled his ears. Closing his eyes he followed the music to one of the Malfoy ballrooms. There his strawberry blonde daughter sat, her fingers flying across black and ivory filling the room with a melody suitable for angels.

“Fleurdelis,” Draco called. They teen hit a sour note but kept on playing, pretending as though she hadn’t heard her father calling her.

Draco took another step into the room and saw her lack of music; he felt a swell of pride at his daughter’s musical talent.

“Fleurdelis,” Draco tried again, hoping she would respond. Hoping they could talk with out screaming. Again, a sour note was hit, but the pianist continued to play. Secretly, she was hoping he would get frustrated and walk away.

“Fleurdelis I want to talk to you,” Draco stated finally building up enough courage to walk into the room and close the piano.

“What do you want?” Fleurdelis asked with the simultaneous sigh and eye roll preceding her question.

“I need to practice,” she stated trying to uncover the ivory keys with no avail.

“I need to apologize,” Draco snapped, his words coming out crueler than he intended. Immediately his daughter got a defensive face and stood to leave.

“I do not have to listen to you yell at me. Uncle Ron would not like to hear how you are treating me,” Feeling as though she had won she turned to leave but Draco grabbed her arm to stop her. Internally he mused her similarities to Ginny.

“ Fleurdelis I am your father, you will listen to me. Now sit down,” Draco tried to sound calm but failed terribly as he tried to force her to sit on the piano bench.

“Mom would never do this to me! Mom loved me and is your fault she is gone and I have to live with you!” Fleurdelis yelled knowing that this statement usually ended all of their discussions, which is exactly what she wanted. She didn’t want to talk to her dad. She never would.

“You are right it is my fault and I am sorry!” Draco yelled back matching her volume. His anger blinded his senses of fear and uncertainties making him able to do something that would forever alter his and his daughter’s relationship.

“I am sorry I ran away,” He started still yelling.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Fleudelis interrupted sanding up so the height difference wouldn’t be so extreme.

“You are going to sit down and listen!” Draco screamed shoving her back down onto the piano bench.

“I am sorry I ran away. I am sorry I was not around when you were growing up. I’m sorry you had no father. I am sorry your mother had to raise you alone. I am sorry you felt as thought your mother didn’t love you. …” Fleurdelis realized what was happening and began to struggle in her father’s grip. She did not want to hear what he had to say, but he only held tighter.

“I am sorry I missed everything about you. I’m sorry you had to be the one to contact me. I’m sorry I was the cause of yours and your mother’s pain. I’m sorry I was afraid to come home. I’m sorry I never chose a side in that damned war. I’m sorry you never knew the real woman your mother was…” Tears were streaming down Fleurdelis’ face as she tried to get away from her father. Taking her fisted hands she began beating his chest, trying to push him away, trying to hurt him like he was hurting her. He only talked louder.

“I am sorry I made your mother come get me from Africa. I’m sorry your mother died. I’m sorry I did not let the Weasleys take you and raise you. I’m sorry I am such a bad father. I’m sorry I don’t know how to raise you. I’m sorry I don’t know how to love you…” Fleurdelis began to sob loudly and beat harder. He needed to feel what he was doing to her.

“Stop! Stop this you aren’t sorry!!” She shrieked as he released her wrists and she began punching him anywhere she could. Anywhere that she felt like might be able to hurt him.

“I’m sorry that your child hood is worse than mine. I’m sorry you hate me. I’m sorry your mother was broken. I’m sorry I am defective. I am sorry I couldn’t save your mother. I am sorry I couldn’t save you. I’m sorry your broken.” By the time Draco finished tears were pouring out of his eyes too.

“I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!” Fleurdelis sobbed hitting him softly, not having the energy or strength to try and inflict pain anymore. Draco pulled Fleurdelis into a hug and she sobbed into his shirt.

The same phrase each breath. The same phrase professing her hate for him.

Eventually both stopped crying and Fleurdelis stopped sobbing and for the first time in either of their lives they held each other.

Neither one was ok. Neither one ever would be. But it was a start.