Duplicate

scottsman

Rating: PG
Genres: Humor
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 20/10/2004
Last Updated: 26/10/2004
Status: completed

Harry tries a new spell that gives him a niave clone of Hermione and wealth of problems.

Chapters

1. Backfire

2. From Bad To Worse

3. Here we Go Again

4. The Final Boo-Boo

1. Backfire

Duplicate

Preview

Harry was bored. He had finished his homework early and had come back to the Gryffindor Common room from the library. Looking at the clock he wondered where Ron was.

“He's probably running around with Luna Lovegood,” Harry thought with a chuckle, “ and Hermione is probably still at the library doing her homework in triplicate.”

Shrugging off these thoughts Harry grabbed his wand and figured that he would just have to amuse himself. He began to leaf through his charms textbook and to practice doing the charms that were in the book after putting a silencing charm on the wall. First he changed scabbers the rat into a teacup and back again getting bored with that he turned father back in the book than he had been before and found a duplicous charm. Looking around the room he spotted a long hair on the rug.

“No Harm in duplicating a strand of hair.” he thought.

He took the long hair and placed it in the center of the rug then with a wave of his wand he called out,

“DUPLICIOUS!” instantly a beam of white energy shot out of the tip of Harry's wand as soon as it hit the hair there was a tremendous explosion and Harry was thrown backwards across the room. Once the smoke cleared Harry looked around the walls were covered with soot and every piece of furniture was overturned.

“I'm in trouble now,” said Harry standing to his feet Harry looked over at the rug turned pale and froze. There just rising to her feet from the fetal position was a Butt naked duplicate of Hermione Granger! The duplicate walked toward Harry with a Very inquisitive expression on her face. She walked right up to Harry and stood there studying him for a minute or so then suddenly she broke into a wide smile, threw he arms around him and began to nuzzle his neck with her nose.

“I'm not in trouble,” said Harry, “ I'm dead where I stand.”

TBC Please Review

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2. From Bad To Worse

Part 2

From bad to worse

Ron Weasely and Luna Lovegood walked toward the entrance to Gryffindor tower. Ron was pouring on the charm and Luna was deliberately laughing at all of his Jokes whether they were funny or not. When they reached the portrait Ron leaned on the edge of the doorway still trying to be Mr. Charming. Just as he was about to kiss Luna the portrait was opened from the inside just a crack and he was tapped on the shoulder.

“Ron,” hissed Harry, “I need to talk to you!!”

“In a minute,” hissed Ron leaning in for the kiss again. A hand reached out and grabbed him by the scuff of the neck.

“No now!!” said Harry jerking Ron backwards through the doorway and shutting the portrait behind them.

“Harry,” whined Ron hold up his thumb and index finger, “I was this close.”

“Listen Bedroom -head we've got a big problem,” snapped Harry as he pulled Ron up the stairs to the boy's dorm room.

“What?” asked Ron. Harry turned around and opened the door. There sprawled out on Harry's bed leafing through a Quidditch magazine was the Hermione duplicate who was wearing one of Harry's button- up shirts and a pair of Harry's boxers.

“So,” said Ron shrugging, “Hermione's in you clothes, on your bed and reading your magazines.” He turned and walked toward the stairs only to stop dead in his tracks.

“WHAT AM I SAYING!!” he turned and ran back to the doorway.

“Uh Harry,” he said, “What exactly is Hermione doing in the boys dormitory?!”

“That is what I am trying to tell you,” said Harry, “this isn't Hermione, this is a Clone-if you will- that I made by accident a few minutes ago! I need you help to keep her hidden from Hermione until I can figure out a way to undo what I've done I've already summoned an advanced duplication textbook from the library.”

“Why should I get involved?” said Ron, “it's not my duplicate I'm not the one that is going down in Hogwart's all time Bonehead Maneuvers!”

“Ron,” said Harry “Think about it this way, Hermione knows you and your penchant for chasing girls right.”

“Right,” said Ron.

“Ergo,” said Harry, “What will happen if you do not help me is this Hermione will walk, into the room take one look at the clone, and make us all dead!!”

Ron stood there for a few seconds glaring at Harry,

“I hate it when you're right,” he growled. When the clone had finished leafing through the magazine she looked up and saw Harry. Her face lit up. Jumping up she bounded across the row of beds and jumped into Harry arms wrapping her legs around his waste and her arms around his neck, and began to plant kisses all up and down his neck and face.

“Well,” said Ron, as Harry attempted to disentangle himself with the shamelessly amorous clone, “ it seems that your Hermione clone has the hormones of a fifteen year-old and absolutely no inhibitions and what's even worse those hormones seem to have imprinted on you somehow.”

“So,” said Harry as he ran laps around Ron trying to keep the clones hands off of his arse, “what you saying is that she hasn't been around long enough to build any concept of modesty or any inhibitions about acting on her hormonal urges and that she'll jump me ever time I go near her.”

“Yep,” said Ron, “ that's about the size of it.”

“Great,” muttered Harry as he held the clone at arms length, “this couldn't possibly get any worse.”

Just then they heard the portrait open and footsteps entering the common room. At this point Harry was glad that that he was able to restore the room so know one would know anything had happened, but that thankful feeling didn't last very long.

“Harry, Ron,” called a girls voice from the bottom of the stairs, “are you here can I come up?”

“Hermione!!” Harry and Ron hissed in unison.

“Me and my big mouth.” Muttered Harry

Harry herded the duplicate into the closet.

“S-Sure,” said Ron in a voice that sounded strangled and a half-octave higher than it should be. “ I-I'll lift the blocking charms for you.” Then he ran over to the bed, grabbed the big duplication textbook that was lying there and without even looking tossed toward the closet door. Harry, who was standing in the doorway with his back to Ron, was hit square in the shoulder blades and knocked back into the closet. Ron ran over and slammed the door of the closet shut. And spun around to face Hermione who had just topped the stairs.

“Hi, Ron,” she said, “Have you see Harry? I need to ask him something.”

“No I-I haven't,” said Ron leaning on the door handle, “hopping he sounded calmer than he felt.”

“Hmm,” said Hermione looking away in thought, just then there was a loud KA-THUMP, on the closet door. Hermione turned back abruptly.

“Uh -ARRGH,” said Ron quickly flexing his leg, “Banged my knee.” Hermione started to look suspicious but to Ron's relief seemed to shrug it off,

“If you see Harry anytime soon tell him I'm looking for him.” With that Hermione disappeared down the stairs and Ron heard the portrait open and close. Heaving a sigh of relief he turned and open the closet door, only to find Harry standing there with his glasses, crooked his shirt ripped, open his pants halfway, down and a glare on his face.

“Oops,” said Ron, “are you alright, Harry what, happened?”

“Don't worry,” said Harry, “ her virtue is still intact.”

“It wasn't hers, I was worried about.” Said Ron

* * * * * * Harry and Ron sat in the great hall eating supper. Ron leaned over to Harry as Hermione sat down and began to chat with Ginny.

“What did you do with the you-know -what?” he whispered

“Gave her a sleeping draft,” Harry whispered back, “she'll be asleep for a while.” Just Then Luna came in and sat down next to Ron and smiling wickedly at Hermione.

“Way to go Hermione,” she said, “I see you finally bagged your man!”

“Luna,” said Hermione with a bewildered look, what are you talking about?”

“Oh come on, Mione,” said Luna, “I saw you a few minutes ago prancing through the kitchen in nothing but Harry's shirt.”

“WHAT!” said Hermione choking on her chicken dinner.

Harry and Ron looked at each other.

“OH, NO!”

TBC

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3. Here we Go Again

Chapter 3

Here we go again

Harry and Ron raced down the hall to the Kitchen at break-neck speed. Sliding around the corner the saw a whole crowd of Gryffindor boys staring through the kitchen door with google-eyed expressions on their faces. Harry and Ron reached the door and stared in horror at what the other boys were goggling at. There on the counter sat the Duplicate, who had lost Harry's boxers some where along the course of her trip, wearing nothing but Harry's shirt and sitting in a seductive pose, in the middle of the kitchen counter eating Chocolate-covered strawberries. It was at this point that Harry was relieved that Hermione had gone to interrogate Luna some more after supper instead of coming with them.

The duplicate Hermione picked up another strawberry and slowly took a bite of it. When she licked her lips one of the boys who had been leaning forward fell over taking have the boys in the doorway with him.

“Ron,” hissed Harry, “we've got to get her out of there!!” when Harry did get an answer he turned and looked at Ron only to find him as goggled-eyed at the rest of the boys. Harry reached up and swatted Ron in the back of the head causing his head to bounce off the doorpost.

“Argh! What was that for?” said Rom rubbing his head.

“Ron,” said Harry, “don't you remember? Duplicate, Hermione, preserving our life expectancy?”

“Oh yeah,” said Ron. He took another look at the duplicate, “Hey Harry do you think that once this is over we could get Hermione to put on that shirt and eat Chocolate covered- strawberries for us?”

“RON,” exclaimed Harry rolling his eyes, “you know what your brain is really in the gutter.”

“I can't help it,” replied Ron, “it's attached to the rest of me.”

“That duplicate isn't the only hormonal case around here,” muttered Harry

Before either of them could say anything else there was a gasped,

“WOW!”

“Oh no!” Thought Harry, “Just what we don't need, Collin, Hogwarts resident shutterbug!” True to form Collin Raised his Camera and was about to take a picture when Ron knocked a stool over on Collins foot. Collin yelped and threw his camera up in the air. Harry spun around with his back to Collin, who was nursing his foot, Caught the camera and took the film out of it. Then he turned to Collin and returned the camera.

Harry turned to the clone who was now watching the entire scene with great amusement on her face. As soon as she and Harry made eye contact her expression became a sultry come- thou- hither look. She moved and began to crawl like an animal on the hunt across the counter toward Harry looking like a sultry she-tiger. She kept coming forward until their noses were almost touching. Suddenly she gave his nose a sexy little nip and made a playful growling sound. While the boys were distracted by the duplicate's seductive display Ron saw his chance, erased their memories and sent them away on a wild goose chase. Harry glanced away to see what Ron was doing and when he turned around the duplicate was gone. Ron and Harry raced out the door and down one hallway after another. Then they raced out side into the bright Indian summer sun.

“Which way did she go?” asked Ron Looking around.

“I think I know,” said Harry pointing to his shirt that was now laying on the ground at the head of the path down to the lake.”

“Man,” said Ron, “do you have any idea what would happen if Hermione sees herself walking around the lake wearing nothing but a smile!!”

“Yeah,” said Harry, “why else do you think that I'm terrified!” they took off toward the lake when they got there they were relieved to find that no one was there. They began to walk around the lake when they came upon the clone playing in the mud her entire naked frame was covered in mud and she was rolling around in it laughing.

* * * * * *

“What do you mean, me?” asked Harry as he and stood outside the bathroom door. Inside they could hear the clone splashing happily in the water.

“She's your Hermione clone,” said Ron Handing him the sponge, “ you clean her up.” Harry walked into the bathroom and closed the door from behind him. A few seconds later there was a horrendous splash as the sound of someone being yanked into the tub followed by Harry's voice,

“Let go of me,” he was saying, “don't stick your tongue in my ear, Yipe! Hands!” a few minutes later the door of the bathroom opened and Harry was standing there soaked to the bone.

“Not one word, Ron,” Harry glowered at him.

* * * * * *

Harry rolled over in his bed things couldn't be better it was the weekend and his pillow was so soft and warm and breathing. Harry stopped short and his eyes shot open

“Pillows don't breath,” he said to himself raising his head, “or BREASTS!!” Harry sat straight up in bed and found the duplicate laying in bed with him Clothed in his shirt and boxers.

“Well he thought as he watched her sleep, “at least she had the good decency to keep her clothes on this time.” Just then he heard an enraged scream coming from Hermione in the common room. Harry dropped his invisibility cloak over the clone and sound- proofed the walls.

Hurrying down to the common room he found Hermione on the warpath.

“I'll Kill Rita Skeeter this time,” she fumed

“Why,” said Harry, “what has she done this time?” Hermione shoved the magazine at Harry,

“See for yourself.” She said and continued her angry pacing.

“Harry Looked at the Cover and froze. There on the cover was a picture of the clone sitting on the counter eating strawberries and the caption said:

Hermione Granger: Seductress of Hogwarts?”

TBC

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4. The Final Boo-Boo

Chapter 4

The Final Boo- Boo

Harry, magazine in hand, bounded up the stairs to the bedroom and burst through the door.

“Ron, wake up!!” he said grabbing his shoes. Ron mumbled something incoherent and rolled over with his back to Harry. Harry lifted a foot and kicked Ron in the behind knocking clean out of the bed and into the floor. Ron sat bolt upright,

“I didn't do it, Hermione, it's all Harry's fault!” He shouted the clone giggled

“Thanks a lot, turncoat,” said Harry rolling his eyes, “Get dressed, we've got another problem.”

“What,” asked Ron pulling on his clothes.

“This,” said Harry sitting down next to Ron and handing him the Magazine, the clone came over and plopped down in Harry's lap laying her head on his shoulder.

“Thanks to Rita Skeeter, her infernal rant rag, and our Hormonal clone Hermione is now bucking for centerfold!!” Harry administered a sleeping drug to the clone and laid her back under the cloak.

Just then a boy walked up behind them and was looking at the picture he gave a low wolf whistle.

“Now that's what I call a cover page.” Harry and Ron Immediately flipped their fists backwards and caught him right in the nose.

“Uh, I think I'm going to leave now!” he said holding his nose.

“Harry what are we going to do now?” asked Ron frantically, “Has Hermione seen this yet?” no sooner were the words out of his mouth than they both heard the sound of a chair being smashed against the wall making a horrendous CRASH!!

“She's seen it,” said Ron answering his own question. Suddenly Harry jumped up.

“Of course,” he said, “why didn't I think of it before!”

“Think of what,” said Ron.

“The last time I talked with Dumbledore he started reminiscing about his younger days in Gryffindor and he showed me a secret potion of his that he used to use to play pranks on Professor McGonagall. Harry pulled out his medicine pouch and began to mix the herb into a potion that Ron had never seen before. Then he reached into the drawer and pulled out several strands of Rita Skeeter's hair.

“ I was planning on pulling this trick on her for Halloween,” he said, “but I guess I'll just have to move my time table up a little bit.” With that he dropped the hairs into the brew and stirred it for a few seconds. Then he took an eye- dropper and filled it with the potion.

Ron was beside himself with curiosity,

“What does the potion do?” he asked

“This,” replied Harry, “ he dropped a few drops onto the cover of the magazine and immediately the picture changed to one of Rita Skeeter in a Leopard skin bikini.

“Now,” said Harry, “Every magazine for this month with have that picture on them and Skeeter will recall them faster than you could say what happened and I also added a little something that will cause them to forget about the picture of the Hermione clone.”

In less than 2 hours all the copies of the magazine had been confiscated and Rita was having a conniption fit. Wanting to know what bumbling idiot put that picture in instead of the one she had assigned and Hermione was laughing again.

“That was pretty clever Harry,” said Hermione, “Thank you.”

“Thank, Dear ole Dumbledore for that one.” Said Harry who then stepped out to the lavatory to dispose of the rest of the potion.

“Ron,” said Hermione, “where did I leave that book I was reading last night?”

“On the table at the top of the stairs I believe,” replied Ron without even looking up from the Quidditch Magazine he was reading.

“Thanks,” said Hermione heading for the stairs. Harry came through the door into the common room just in time to hear a blood- curdling scream from the top of the stairs. Harry and Ron looked at each other, paled, and ran to the top of the stairs. There was the clone in the doorway Leading to the boys dorm and Hermione on the floor in a dead faint.

“Ron,” said Harry, “I told you to double the amount of sleeping drug in that dose that you made for me.”

Just then they heard a crowd of Gryffindors returning from Hogsmeade Harry picked up the still unconscious Hermione and carried her into closet nearby where he, Ron, Hermione and Hermione2 waited for the students to pass by. Then throwing his enlarged invisibility cloak around himself and the others they slipped out and went to the room of requirement. Just as Ron shut the door Hermione began to wake up.

“Harry,” she said, “I could have sworn I saw myself in the doorway to the boys dormitory wearing one of you shirts and your red boxer shorts.”

“Hermione,” Harry began slowly, suddenly he stopped, “Hey, just how is it that you recognize my boxer shorts?” Hermione turned red as an apple when she realized what she said. Then she caught sight of her clone staring at her curiously at her.

“I wasn't a dream.” She said, “What is going on here?” Ron Shrugged

“Harry cloned you,” he answered nonchalantly.

“HE WHAT!!” thundered Hermione she grabbed Harry by the throat Jumped on his chest and began to bang his head against the floor.

“Her-Hermione,” said Harry in a strangled voice. He grabbed her hands and wrestled them away from his throat, surprised at how strong Hermione was.

Gasping for air he said,

“It was an accident the charm I was using backfired, we were going to fix it ourselves, but your clone kept getting loose.”

“THANKS TO THAT CLONE I GET A CHOURUS OF WHISTLES AND AT LEAST THREE MARRIAGE PROPOSALS EVERYTIME I WALK DOWN THE HALL!!” Hermione snapped then in a calmer voice she said, “You boys wait outside I'll deal with the clone.”

Harry and Ron paced back and forth in the hallway out side the room. After a few minutes the door opened just a crack.

“Harry,” said Hermione sheepishly, “there has been a problem.” Harry froze and his face paled.

“Hermione,” said Harry slowly, “what did you do?” suddenly the door was pulled open wide and instead of one Hermione, Harry found himself face to face with Five Hermiones! Harry took one look and the come hither looks on there faces, then turned and bolted down the hallway. Suddenly there was a tremendous crash. Ron and five Hermiones looked down hallway and saw a Harry-shaped hole in the wall.

“Bummer,” said Ron, “Looks like he got away.”

“You forget,” said Hermione smiling wickedly over her shoulder as she and the other for Hermiones started down the hallway, “ I know all of his hiding places.”

-The End-

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