Based on challenge off the boards. Harry is the Boy who Lived, Hermione is Miss Know it All, and Ron is a two-year old child. See what happens when two people come together to take care of this little hell-raising toddler. Rating MAY be upped to PG13. Also can be categorized as Drama.
From the Unofficial Portkey Archive: https://portkey-archive.org/story/3156/
Disclaimer: HP is not mine
A/N: New story, challenge on the boards, yadiyadiya! Like it or not, review!!!!!!! (muahaha!)
Harry, Ron and Hermione are working together in Potions. Hermione goes up to get more supplies, and Ron adds a wrong ingredient, Harry was spacing out and didn't notice. The potion makes a loud bang and Hermione, as well as Snape come over. Snape, being the evil person he normally is, forces Ron to drink it. And *POOF* baby Ronnie.
Snape sends Harry and Hermione to go to Madam Pomfrey. She needs a week to brew the reversal potion. She calls Dumbledore, and he agrees that Harry and Hermione should take care of Ron.
Baby Ron helps Harry and Hermione fall in love with each other.
They act like a real married couple, minus the bickering.
MUST INCLUDE:
1.) Takes place in 7th year.
2.) Harry and Hermione are Head Boy and Head Girl
3.) Ron has to turn into a 2 or 3 year old.
4.) Ron still has his mind (if you want to do it in his POV)
5.) Ron has to say "WILL YOU TWO KISS ALREADY?" when he's changed back.
6.) Harry and Hermione don't show any signs of liking each other, but are suddenly embarrassed when they touch each other.
7.) Hermione has to see Harry shirtless while trying to give Ron a bath.
8.) Ron tries to cause as much trouble as possible.
9.) Ginny and Luna aren't there/doesn't want to take care of baby Ron.
10.) Characters have to be canon.
Of Love and Little Ronnie Babies
“Ron, quit it! Copy off Harry for once!” Hermione whispered exasperatedly.
“No, no, no. He’s not getting MY paper. Last time A.D.D. boy over there got his hands on it, I got it back torn, doodled on, and, for some odd reason, reeking of fish!” Harry responded quietly, making sure McGonagall didn’t catch them.
“It’s not my fault my salad bowl turned into a bass instead of a cat!” Ron huffed, coming up short of trying to defend himself.
“If you had pronounced it as I told you-“ Hermione began, but Harry punched Ron in the arm and motioned towards McGonagall. She was impatiently tapping her foot at the head of the class, her arms crossed over her chest, her wand twirling threateningly in her left hand.
“If you’ll let me continue, Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, and Miss Granger,” McGonagall trailed off, turning back to her lesson. Seconds later, the bell rang signaling the end of class, and all that was heard was the rustle of papers and the shuffling of feet on the stone floor.
“Don’t forget!” McGonagall managed to be heard over the hustle and bustle. “Two feet of parchment on why transfiguring a chair into a broom might be useful! Due Wednesday!” But her voice died as the students left the room.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione, grudgingly making their ways to potions, were talking animatedly about the Hogsmeade weekend just a day away.
“I’m going into Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes first to go see Fred and George. You two coming along?” Ron stated, shifting his books from his right hand to his left.
“I think I might go into Kurda and Kass first,” Hermione replied, referring to the new bookstore they had just put in. “I need a few new books.” Ron rolled his eyes and kept on walking, while Hermione only sighed and followed.
“I might as well go with you, Hermione. I need a new Auror Training book,” Harry responded.
“Great, I guess I’m the lone Amigo this time,” Ron responded. They entered to Potions classroom, setting their things down. Snape was no where in sight, but there were directions on the board.
“I think we should skip. Not like that slimy git will notice,” Ron laughed, preparing a cauldron for him, Harry, and Hermione. The directions said they were to work in groups of three.
“I think that slimy git WILL notice, Mr. Weasley,” a voice said shortly from behind them. Ron froze. It was hard to see if he was breathing or not. “Get a move on or ten points from Gryffindor!” he barked after Ron had stood like that for at least a minute. Ron popped up, racing to the ingredient cabinet and stuffing his face inside so he wouldn’t have to reveal his resemblance to a tomato.
When his face had turned back to a nearly normal shade, he walked back over to the cauldron with a few choice ingredients. Hermione started panicking, saying that she had no idea how to do this potion, she was going to fail, and never get a good job, and Harry was calmly trying to stir the potion.
“Cut that-er-whatever it is up and put it in the cauldron three pieces at a time,” Harry said to him, as Hermione walked away to get more ingredients. Ron did as he was told, and within moments the cauldron was simmering, then bubbling, then madly threatening to teeter over the edge.
“Uh-oh. I think I put in the wrong ingre-“ he started but never got to finish. The cauldron exploded, sending purple bits of chunky liquid all around the room. Ron was blown against the side wall, Harry was blown back a few feet, and Hermione was blown out of her mind.
“You idiots! You imbeciles! You-you-ARGH!” Hermione exclaimed, Helping Harry up and dusting the little pieces off of him. She then bustled to Ron and helped him up too. “You were supposed to put the tail of onyx in first, not the intestinal tract of the billywig!” Hermione made a frustrated noise as Snape, regaining his composure, walked up to the three of them.
“Weasley, your incompetence will be the death of you!” he barked. “Hopefully right now,” he added under his breath, pouring what was left of their potion into a small vial. Let’s see what Weasley’s incompetence gets him when he must die at the hands of his own stupidity.” Snape thrust the bottle into his hands. “Drink it,” he ordered.
Ron turned pale and started shaking, but downed it in one gulp. He closed his eyes, but squinted one open after nothing had happen in a few seconds. He smiled, then laughed and held out his hands in front of his eyes. Nothing.
But there was something.
There was a poof of blue smoke, and emerging from the misty fog was a small two-year old, where Ron was previously standing. He crawled over to Harry’s feet, blew a drool bubble, and giggled when it popped and splattered onto his face. Harry picked up the small child, cleaned up the drool with his handkerchief, and then laid the damp cloth on his desk.
Snape shook his head, greatly annoyed. “Potter, Granger, take him to Madam Pomfrey so I can continue my class in a semi-normal manner!” he ordered,. Harry and Hermione quickly withdrew from the classroom.
“Hermione…” Harry started uncertainly.
“Harry…” Hermione started, matching his tone. Baby Ron clapped his hands twice, staring bright-eyed at the two people walking briskly above him. “We’re dead. We have to take care of him AND study for NEWTS?” Hermione frantically quickened her pace and raced to the infirmary.
“It’ll be ok. Madam P’ll have him up and ready in no time, like that,” he responded, managing to feebly snap his fingers without letting Ron fall.
They were at the infirmary within minutes. Madam Pomfrey checked him over, said he would be fine, but it’d take her at least a week to brew the reversal potion, as she did not have one in stock. “Such occurrences are so rare that the potion goes bad in no time,” she had explained.
She called Dumbledore down to speak with him about it. He looked neither happy nor angry, but there was a mystery mischievous glint in his eyes.
“One of you will need to take care of him for the time being. I would, if time allowed. However, time is demanding, and I am needed. Or, you could both do it together,” he suggested, tapping his chin with a finger. “That should be fine, since you two share a dormitory anyways.”
“I could never let Harry take care of our best friend alone,” Hermione responded. Harry shot her a grateful smile and she grinned right back.
“I shall allow you two to take the rest of the day off…think of it as token of my appreciation that you two are helping each other out. I’ll have the one of the house-elves report to your room to help you settle little Ron in.” Dumbledore pulled a small gold pocket watch ona chain out of his pocket. “Terribly sorry. Must run, good luck to you two.” And he was off with a swish of his robes.
“Well, Hermione, I guess you know what this means,” Harry started. She looked at him questioningly.
“I guess we’re parents now.”
End of Part One
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine and probably never will be!
A/N: Today is my update day. I’m updated all my stories, starting with ban the tube top, then this, then the prefect bathroom escapade, Then Hating Dating, and Ginny Weasley. Hope you like!
Almost
Hermione paced worriedly around their private common room floor, nearly burning an oval into it. Harry was sitting on the couch, watching amusedly as baby Ron began clapping his hands again, and blowing one after another of drool bubbles.
“Hermione, quit it,” Harry demanded, but in a joking tone. “You’re making me dizzy.”
“What do you suggest we do, Harry?” she snarled, obviously not getting the joke. “We’re stuck acting as parents to our best friend, which might I add, is supposed to be seventeen!” She sank into the seat next to him and buried her face in her hands.
“Sorry, overreaction,” she mumbled a few minutes after her outburst.
“It’s ok,” Harry responded. On the bright side, at least I get lessons in parenting. “We’re both a little-er-less than excited about having to take care of a two-year old. But maybe it’ll be fun, you never know.”
“Yeah, changing dirty diapers and waking up at three in the morning will be fun,” she replied sardonically, falling backwards onto the head of the couch. Baby Ron crawled off Harry’s lap and onto Hermione’s, where he sat on her upper abdominals. She reached up and started running her hands over his ginger head. “Hey Ronnie,” she said softly, looking to the bright blue-eyed boy.
“Hugny!” he laughed. “Hugny! Hugny! Hugny!” he repeated.
“I’m not exactly skilled in the language of toddler-ish, but I would guess that means he’s hungry,” Harry said. Ronnie patted his tummy and let out a small gurgle. Hermione scooped him into her arms and bounced him around for a few minutes. “It’s too early for dinner and too late for lunch, so I suppose we’ll need to get something from the kitchens.”
“Thank Merlin. How do you think we’ll explain a kid to all those who aren’t in our potions class?” Hermione asked.
“Well, we don’t have to. We can just stay up here for mealtimes and have Dumbledore tell everyone we’ve been training hard and request meals to our rooms. Speaking of requesting meals…” Harry trailed off.
“No!” Hermione shouted forcefully. “This goes against all my S.P.E.W. work! You cannot have them deliver food here, it’s extra work for them!” she argued stubbornly.
“Then I’ll pay them Hermione. I really don’t feel like making the trek three times a day just to bring back food for all three of us. Two of us can’t go because Ronnie can’t be left alone and we sure as bloody hell can’t take Ron with us.” Hermione sighed.
“Fine, but you better pay them well, including tips!” Hermione huffed.
“Don’t worry. I’m not fool enough to incur the wrath of Hermione,” he quipped. Her jaw dropped and she sneered at him, playfully lobbing a pillow at his head.
“But how do we get them to know when we’re hungry?” Hermione asked, sitting up and placing Ron on the couch between them.
“Well, as far as I kno-“ Harry was then interrupted by a loud “pop”.
“Dobby is here to serve Mister Harry and Miss Granger,” Dobby said, bowing politely.
Harry smiled. “Thank you Dobby. All we need is two plates of food and some baby food if you have it.”
“Right away, Mister Harry,” Dobby responded quickly and popped out.
“Well, that’s convienient,” Hermione mused. She then scrunched up her nose in disgust. “Ew someone smells!” she squealed. Harry lifted his arm and discreetly took a whiff.
“Hey, I took a shower this morning,” he defended.
Hermione rolled her eyes. “I was talking about this baby, not you,” she retorted.
“I’m no baby!” he whined.
“Well, you fooled me. It seems someone needs a bath and a diaper change,” she said in a baby-ish voice.
“I already told you, I took a shower this morning. And I don’t wear diapers!” he screeched playfully. Hermione rolled her eyes, and picked Baby Ron up to bring him to a study table in the corner. Harry remained where he sat.
“Aren’t you going to come help me?” Hermione asked.
“I’d rather not look at what my friend was endowed down south,” Harry responded. Hermione chuckled.
“Harry, he’s just a baby, he won’t-ARGH!” Hermione sputtered. Harry whipped around to see Ron laughing and clapping his hands while Hermione was soaked. “He peed on me,” she responded. “He bloody peed on me! That little rug-rat I’ll-“ Hermione mumbled to herself and finished cleaning him up. Then, she came back to the couch and dropped Ron into Harry’s lap. “Bugger,” Hermione muttered. Harry muttered a scourgify for her between chuckles.
“Ha-flaming-ha! Real mature Harry,” she responded. Only moments later, Dobby reappeared with two plates of food in his hands, and balancing two jars of baby food on his head. Hermione gracefully took the two plates while Harry took the baby food.
“Thank you Dobby. What would you like as for payment?” Hermione asked.
Dobby hesitated a moment. “If it would not trouble Miss Granger, Dobby would like one of your excellent items of clothes,” he spoke in his poor grammar dialect.
“Sure. I’ll make you a hat and a scarf tonight, and I’ll give it to you the next time I see you,” Hermione responded kindly. Dobby showed a big, toothy grin.
“Dobby thanks Miss Granger,” he bubbled before disappearing once more. Hermione turned to Harry to see that he was already trying to get Ron to eat, but Ron kept on grabbing the food off the spoon and splattering it on his head, as if it were a hat.
“Ron, you’re supposed to eat the food, not wear it!” Harry picked up another spoonful and shoved it into his own mouth to demonstrate. “This is how you eat food,” he instructed. This time, Ron wrapped his mouth around the spoon and jerked it out of Harry’s hand. He then pulled it out of his mouth and started to suck on the handle, covering it with a fresh coat of baby drool.
“Hermione…” Harry whined. Hermione sighed, picked Ron up and sat him gently on her lap. Harry handed her the bottle of food and managed to get a spoonful of it into his mouth. “I’m hating you so much right now,” Harry mumbled playfully.
“It’s a woman’s natural instinct to know how to handle a baby, Harry.”
Harry only harrumphed.
Fifteen minutes later, once all food had been eaten, Harry offered to try (“And fail,” as Hermione put it) to give Ron a bath. Hermione was on the couch, books scattered out and about, trying to get her potions homework finished. Harry started a warm bath in their shared bathroom, put some bubbles in it, removed little Ron’s clothing, and placed him in the bath tub. The bubbles nearly swallowed him, so he started thrashing about, playing with the bubbles, blowing them about. There was a mass of bubbles on Harry’s head when Ron began to chuckle.
“Harry,” Hermione chastised as she stood in the doorway. “That’s no way to give a toddler a bath.”
“He’s purposely trying to make it hard for me!!” Harry defended. Hermione kneeled down next to Harry, grabbing a bottle of baby shampoo Dobby must have left out for them. Hermione just only realized that Harry was without a shirt, kneeling extremely close so that she could feel the body heat radiating off of him. She could’ve swore it was the steam from the bath, but when Harry reached over to help rub the shampoo through his curly locks, she felt her face heat up just about thirty degrees.
“See, Harry,” she tried to string coherent words before, feeling odd around Harry, as she never had before. “It’s not that hard. Before long, you might just be the chest. Best! I meant best!” Harry was slightly amused when Hermione started to go at a loss for words, but felt his cheeks tingle when their shoulders bumped together.
The bath came to a close all too soon, as Hermione grabbed a towel and picked Ron up out of the bath. She wrapped him up all snug, and he smiled contentedly as his eyelids started to droop. Hermione swayed him back in forth in her arms, as she and Harry walked side-by-side up to their rooms, which were only separated by a single door. They went up to her room to find a small crib had been set up and a few toys had been laid out.
“You can thank Dumbledore for always being prepared,” Harry whispered. Hermione smiled and nodded. They walked over to the crib, as Hermione was still swaying back and forth with Ron in her arms. Harry stood in front of them, brushing a lock of ginger hair off his forehead.
“I stand with a treasure in my arms
Holding you is the only thing I want
Watching you sleep gives me joy
With the words that I speak
May you find comfort in me
Because I’ll always be there
For you, my dear
When your sleep is plagued
With all but good thoughts
I am here
To wipe away all your fears
And tell you everything
You ever wanted to hear.
I love you, my dear
Let me hold you
Like no other has held you before
And let me lay to rest all
All of your fears,” Hermione sang softly, until Ron’s lids had closed and his breathing slowed. Hermione placed him in the crib, and tucked him in under the covers.
“You’re a beautiful singer,” Harry whispered to Hermione. She blushed. Harry didn’t know how it happened. It was like slow motion. He had wrapped his arms delicately around her waist and she had snaked her arms around his neck. They were leaning ever closer, only a millimeter away before a noise interrupted them.
‘Almost,’ they both thought in unison. ‘Almost.’
A loud bell rang, throughout the school at that moment. Dumbledore’s voice rang through the halls. “Will all students and teachers please report to the Great Hall immediately!” he sounded urgent. Ron began to cry, and Hermione began to rock him back and forth in her arms to calm him.
The moment forgotten, Harry grabbed Hermione’s shoulder and pulled her towards the door. “Let’s go.” She nodded quickly, grabbing Ron a blanket and wrapping him securely in it. Little did they know, their “child” had been alert and awake, the whole entire time.
A/N: I know that was a bad ending, I’m sorry, but at least I updated! The song I used in this chapter is one I created, so I hope you liked it!
Review if you dare…muahahaha!