Adventures in teaching by scottsman Rating: PG Genres: Humor Relationships: Harry & Hermione Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 4 Published: 02/11/2004 Last Updated: 14/12/2004 Status: In Progress Harry, Hermione and Ron are all professors at Hogwarts, Harry has to balance his antics and broom closet escapades with a certaing bushy hair teacher and the ill will snape is who rasing a fuss to Dumbledore about Harry's unorthodox teaching style.(PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW) 1. Professor Potter ------------------- Adventures in teaching “Okay class,” said 25 year old Professor Hermione Granger as she stood in front of her Basic potions class (they divided the potions course into to classes and Snape taught the advanced class.) “The next project we're going to work on is the healing draft #104 that's in chapter two of you textbook.” There was a rustling of pages as the students turned the entry, “Alright,” she continued, “pair off into teams and began.” Just as they were about to begin they all heard the sound of a motorcycle in the hallway. They all rushed to the door just in time to see Professor Potter come barreling down the Hallway on his flying motorcycle wearing black leather from head to toe and sunglasses. He came to a swerving stop right in front of Hermione. “Hey baby, what's happening?” said in a low husky voice, earning a chorus of giggles and snickers from Hermiones class, “care to join me for a little spin,” he added waggling his eyebrows suggestively. “Harry,” she said trying not to blush, “will you please act like you have some decency and stop trying to proposition me!” “That's not what you said in the broom closet last night.” Said Harry giving her a wicked grin. “HARRY!” she hollered turning bright red. Before she could say anything else professor Snape came stomping up. “POTTER!” he snapped. “Well, look everybody,” said Harry gesturing toward Snape, “it's the constipation that walks.” “I am not in the mood for your juvenile quips,” growled Snape now kindly shut off that motorcycle so I can resume teaching my class.” Harry climbed off the motorbike. “Take 5,” he said and the motorbike took off toward the doorway by it's self. “ARRRRRGH,” yelped Snape as the motorbike ran oven his foot. “Now there's a sight that you don't see too often,” said Harry as he watched Snape hopping on one foot while holding the other, “Snape doing the Flamingo dance.” Snape glared at Harry as he limped back to his own classroom. After snickering a few seconds longer Harry turned and walked into the DADA classroom which was full to brim as it had been since it had been announced that Harry had accepted the position of DADA professor. “Hey professor,” said one of his students, “Where's professor Weasley your assistant?” “Glad you asked,” said Harry, “he turned and pick up the hat that was laying there on the table and waved his hand over it. “Zimmany, zammany, zang, zimmany, zammany, zock one to three,” Harry reached to hat and pulled Ron up by the scuff of the neck, “And what's cooking doc!” they finished in unison. Harry then pulled Ron the rest of the way out of the hat, to the applause of the class. Ron bow in every direction including with his back to the audience. “Thank, You, thank you,” he said, “I'll be signing autographs after the show,” the classroom erupted in laughter again. “Now,” said Harry on to more serious matters we are going to start to day with some reflex test drills with the smooth stone spheres.” “Why professor?” asked one of the students in the front row. “Permit me to demonstrate,” said Harry he grabbed Ron by the scuff on the neck again, “now you need to have your reflexes trained so that if say some gets thrown against the wall like this,” he shoved Ron toward the wall, “you'll be fast enough to stop them before they hit it.” Ron however made a big show of hitting the wall and acting like he hit it harder than he did.” He stumbled back to Harry with his hands rubbing his face. “My face,” he said, “My face,” then he looked at Harry glaring playfully, “You want to spoil my looks?” “Impossible,” retorted Harry, “Never mind you face and get the spheres.” * * * * * * * Snape paced angrily in front of Dumbledore's desk; actually it was a cross between a pace and a limp. “We can't let this go on,” he snapped, “Potter's and Weasley's teaching methods are unorthodox. One minute it's important concepts the next they're acting like the muggle three stooges.” “However, Severus,” said Dumbledore, “his DADA students routinely make the highest marks in the school.” “I won't let this go because of some high marks!” snapped Snape, “this isn't over!” “Severus,” said Dumbledore, “is there something wrong with your foot you're limping?” “Potter's Flying two wheeler ran over my foot.” Muttered Snape who then spun on his heal and strode from the room failing to her Dumbledore' suppressed snicker. --> 2. Nitroglycerin ---------------- Brrrrrrrrrrrrring! Said an alarm clock on a nightstand. A hand reached out from under the covers picked up the alarm clock and threw it out of the open window. Harry Potter Hogwarts youngest DADA teacher emerged from under the covers with a just risen from the dead look about him. “Boy,” he said to him, “I've had some weird dreams in my time but this one takes the cake!” Ron may assist me between flying classes but he certainly wouldn't let me pull him out of a hat. And Hermione wouldn't be caught dead teaching potions. Not to mention Snape would have my hide for insulting him in front of the students. And I doubt I could get away with riding my motorcycle in the Hallways even thought Dumbledore likes me better than Snape.” Harry sat up and rubbed his eyes. Suddenly he caught sight of the grandfather clock in the hallway. “Blimey,” he said, “I'd better hurry or I'm going to be late for the weekly teachers meeting and I'll be hanged if I'm going to give that old sourpuss Snape another nail to put in my coffin. Harry Jumped out of bed and into his clothes, literally, the he raced down the stairs tying his tie. As he as he came barreling through the kitchen he saw Dobby standing their with a breakfast of eggs bacon and toast waiting for him. Harry stopped long enough to throw the bacon and eggs between the to pieces of bread making a sandwich then he kept running. Racing out the back door he vaulted into the seat of his motorcycle and between bites said, “Hogwarts and step on it!” The motorcycle roared to life and sped off into the sky. Harry finished his sandwich and well how he at a sandwich and tied a tie at the same time is a bit complicated to explain. MEANWHILE AT HOGWARTS… “I told you that Harry Potter was unreliable,” said Snape, “He's late.” “Only because you set your watch five minutes fast Severus.” Retorted McGonagall. Dumbledore held up his hand to silence both of them, “Enough!” he held up his own pocket watch, “by my watch Mr. Potter has 2 more minutes and that is exactly what he shall get!” “Harry cuts it close but he's never late in spite of himself.” Said Hermione from behind her Charms book. The seconds ticked by in agonizing slowness then just as the clock was about to strike seven o'clock Harry skidded around the corner and walked into the office. “Morning all,” he said Cheerfully. McGonagall smirked at Snape, “Right- on- time,” she said. Snape only grumbled in response. The rest of the meeting was spent reviewing how things had gone during the past week and making plans for the day. “Harry,” Said Dumbledore as they were about to depart for their respective classes, “would you willing to teach the third period medicinal potions class. Ms. Pomfrey has taken ill and Hermione is to busy with first, second and third year charms classes?” “Sure,” Said Harry, “Goodness knows I've had every one of those potions used on me at one time or another.” Dumbledore chuckled, now that the other senior faculty members were gone he could show a little of his fondness for the young man standing before him. “Indeed, Harry,” he said, “Indeed. Oh and Harry I know that you and a Professor Weasley Enjoy pulling Practical jokes now and again. But be careful this week because there is a Board of Magical Education representative that will be here and you know that Snape will try his best to get your teaching license revoked.” * * * * * * Hermione was in the middle of showing a 1st year the proper swish and flick method when they heard a cry of, “ Gain way, Make room, Get out of the way!!” There seemed to be something happening in the hallway Hermione and several of the students rushed to the door to see what had happened. There she saw Harry and Dumbledore walking side- by- side carrying a cauldron on a pole between then. They moved with agonizing slowness, and beads of nervous perspiration shown on both of the foreheads. Ron was walking ahead of them keeping everyone out of the way, he told the students that could to stay in their classrooms and the ones in the hallway to stand against the wall and not to distract Harry or the Headmaster. “Ron,” said Hermione, “What is going on?” “Someone in Harry's Medicinal Potions class fouled up an assignment and mixed a batch of nitroglycerin instead!” whispered Ron, “They're trying to carry it outside and dump it with out setting it off. There's enough nitro in that cauldron blow half of this castle to kingdom come!” Slowly they moved out of the castle and across the grounds. With Hermione and several other members of the faculty following at a distance. They had agreed to dump the chemical at the edge of the forbidden forest behind. After nearly 45 minutes of moving at a snail's pace they made it to the tree line. Slowly they lowered the cauldron to the ground and poured out the nitro. Once the cauldron was empty Harry drew the first easy breath he'd had since he realized what he was dealing with. Hermione breathed a sigh of relief as well. They all turned and walked up the hill back to the school and then BOOM!! A deafening explosion shook the ground and debris flew everywhere. Harry stood up from the prostrate position he had flung himself into. Looking around he saw the deputy Minister of Magic Wallace O'Rourke standing there with a half- disintegrated cigar in his mouth and his arm still the throwing position from which he had flick the match after lighting the Cigar. “Dunderhead,” Muttered Dumbledore. Harry looked at the Headmaster and grinned. “You said it,” * * * * * * Snape and McGonagall were standing in the doorway of her office glaring at each other. “Minerva that boy Norville Longbottom should be expelled, he's as incompetent as his father Neville!” “Severus, he made a mistake I will not expel a student for having problems!” “You know,” snapped Snape, “Sometimes I don't think you quite have the balls for this job!” “Perhaps,” retorted McGonagall, “but the advantage is I don't have to think with them all the time!” With that she spun on her heel, strode back into the office, and slammed the door in Snape's Face. Harry who was watching from just around the corner smiled. “Professor McGonagall is one tough lady.” Then he walked around the corner and proceeded down the hallway pretending to go over a paper so as to avoid making contact with Snape. “Your days as a teacher are numbered, Potter!” he growled. TBC Please Read And Review -->