Alone

lannereddy

Rating: PG
Genres: Angst
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 07/11/2004
Last Updated: 07/11/2004
Status: completed

How will Harry manage to be a good father without his wife there with him?

Chapters

1. Alone

1. Alone

Author’s Note: This was originally posted on thedarkarts.org. Written about two years ago.

Summary: How will Harry manage to be a good father without his wife there with him?

Alone

Melissa had stood on Platform 93/4, quietly taking in the sight of children, so many children and happy parents. She had been vaguely aware of the hand that held hers. It was a strong hand that conveyed security and protection…the hand of her father’s.

“Mel, I want you to look after yourself,” a determined voice had said.

Melissa had looked up into her father’s face. His jaw was set and his eyes clouded over. Melissa squeezed her father’s hand gently and he looked down at her. When he had seen her anxious expression, he smiled and took her aside.

“I love you honey and don’t you ever forget that,” he whispered urgently.

Melissa’s bottom lip quivered, “I wish mummy was here to say goodbye.”

Harry’s throat tightened as he nodded, “I know, but she is here, all around us. You just have to feel her.”

Melissa’s face crumpled and Harry roughly embraced her and held her tightly as she cried. Melissa missed her mother dearly. Harry had married Hermione four years after they graduated from Hogwarts and had Melissa three years after. Melissa had her father’s raven hair, but had inherited her mother’s soft brown eyes. It ripped Harry’s heart to look at his daughter and he felt extremely guilty because of it, but he saw Hermione in her and he couldn’t bare it. They had been so naïve. When Voldemort was defeated in their sixth year at Hogwarts, Harry and Hermione thought that they were safe. They had started a life together on these false terms, so when Hermione died at the hands of a wizarding lunatic who held up a Muggle café, it had been a rude awakening. Melissa had taken it hard and was still taking it hard. For ten years of her life, her mother had been there and then she was suddenly taken from her. Hermione and Melissa had a special bond that exceeded the limits of mother-daughter. They were friends as much as Hermione and Harry were in love.

“Will you come and visit me daddy?” asked a tearful Melissa.

Harry shut his eyes tightly. He hated to hear his little girl so sad.

“No darling, I can’t. But you will come home for Christmas and I will see you then. Have a good time at Hogwarts and make new friends.”

Melissa tilted her head upwards to look up at Harry, “Won’t you be lonely?”

Harry smiled weakly, “I will. I’ll owl you everyday and your letters will keep me company.”

Melissa returned his smiled and half sobbed, half laughed.

The train whistle blew and all of the Hogwarts students on the platform were scrambling on to the train. Startled by the sudden rush, Harry quickly let go of his daughter and pushed her towards the train.

“Now, keep your inhaler with you at all times and if you have any problems, call me!” He said to her as they walked towards the train.

Melissa nodded and stepped on to the train. She found an empty compartment and opened the window to see her father. He was glancing at the open windows to see if there was any sign of her and smiled when he saw her lone head sticking out the window. He walked up to her and held out his hand. She sighed and held it with hers, both keeping eye contact. He kissed her on the corner of her lips and she kissed him back.

“I love you sweetheart,” he said quietly.

“I love you daddy.”

The train started and chugged out of station, pulling Melissa away from her father, causing them to let go.

********************************

Melissa, at fifteen, was starting to look like her father as the years went by. As her mother’s features disappeared from her face, Hermione Potter became a mere shadow to all except for her husband and daughter.

It was a ritual for Harry and Melissa to go to the Potter’s private cemetery, where all of Harry’s ancestors as far back as traceable, were buried. Melissa’s long, curly black hair whipped up in the wind as she bent to lay blood red roses on her mother’s headstone. There were two of them, one for each important person in her life she left behind. She straightened up and pulled her jacket tighter around her and rubbed her fingertips. She looked up at her father, who had his eyes closed, and smiled. Four years ago this time, she had dreaded the time she would have to spend with him. She had been so close to her mother that she hadn’t got the chance to create that bond with her father. But, things change. Her father was her ultimate best friend. It had been quicker to form that special bond with her father than with her mother and she figured it was due to the fact that they had something strong in common; they shared a loss. She could talk about anything with him. Once, she ventured into unknown territory and brought up the subject of boys. She remembered it as if it were yesterday.

“Daddy, I have something important to discuss with you.”

Harry jumped slightly and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Melissa standing at the bottom of the stairs in her pajamas with unicorns printed on it. She had her arms folded across her chest and her glasses were perched on the end of her nose.

Harry folded up his newspaper and put it aside.

“Aren’t you supposed to be asleep?”

“Dad, don’t ask the obvious! I maybe supposed to, but I’m not, so get over it!”

Harry stared at his fourteen year old in amazement. Harry couldn’t help but think to himself hoping for certain people to hear him, ‘Hermione, we’ve created a monster.”

Harry pat the seat next to him and Melissa sat down heavily on the couch beside him.

She sighed heavily and covered her face with her hands, “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” she groaned.

Harry’s eyes widened, “doing what?” He tried to pull her hands away, but the more he pulled, the stronger she resisted. “Melissa! What is wrong? Talk to me.”

Melissa threw down her hands in exasperation, “I’m trying!”

Harry sat back with his mouth glued shut. He watched her wage a war in her head. He wished she would talk to him, he knew she would open up eventually, but if she didn’t hurry up soon, the new year would come and go and that would mean he wouldn’t get to see the Quidditch play offs that night.”

Melissa suddenly turned her back to him, “Okay, this is better. There is this boy at my school, I really like him and he really likes me …I … I need someone to talk to and you’re the only one available.”

All thoughts of Quidditch play offs were driven from Harry’s mind. He sat up and gaped at his daughter’s back. She slowly turned to face him and quickly turned back when she saw him staring at her like that.

Harry shut his mouth and felt the fatherly instinct taking over. He tried to push it back down, but it suddenly swept him like a tidal wave.

“Who is this boy?” His voice sounded oddly strained.

“Mark.”

“Last name?”

“Mark Starkworth.”

Melissa turned again and bit her lower lip when she saw Harry’s face flushed with silent anger.

Melissa looked away from her father’s face and stared at the sky as she remembered the outcome of that episode. When Harry had taken her back to the Hogwart’s Express for the Easter term, he personally sought out Mark and gave him one of those ‘talks’. As she watched the clouds float by, she thought to herself, ‘Oh mum, I wish you were here when this happened though.”

It was only a few months ago during summer break. Melissa had just turned fifteen and had woken up with this bright red spot on her bed. Her breathing became rapid and her face flushed with panic. She felt an asthma attack coming on and she vaguely remembered leaving it downstairs on the kitchen counter. She felt dizzy with lack of oxygen and bolted out of her room.

Harry was just coming up the stairs in his grey t-shirt and pajama bottoms, holding a hot cup of coffee when he saw his daughter whiz by like a bolt of lightning. His eyes widened as he stared after her.

“What in bloody hell?” he mumbled when he saw the red spot on the back of her pants.

Melissa chuckled to herself and Harry opened his eyes. He inhaled the fresh air deeply and turned to look at his daughter. She was laughing to herself and he couldn’t help but smile on this gloomy day.

“What’s so funny?”

Melissa sighed happily, “I just remembered when I first saw my period and your reaction.”

Harry laughed, “Oh yes, that was something!”

“It was! I was just wishing mum was here for that.”

Harry sighed, “I think I did a pretty good job.”

Melissa snorted, “suuuuuuuure.”

“Melissa what is this?” Harry screamed when he saw the big red stain on Melissa’s sheet.

Melissa ran back into the room with her inhaler dangling out of her mouth.

Harry stared at her with wide unseeing eyes. He started pacing the room, clutching at his hair.

“What do we do? What do we do?” he kept asking himself over and over again.

Melissa yanked the inhaler out of her mouth and put it on the desk.

“STOP!” she shouted.

Harry stopped and looked as if he just saw her for the first time. He strode up to her and grasped her shoulders, “Are you alright?”

Melissa nodded. She was a bit anxious too, but not by what was happening to her, but by her father’s reaction.

“Dad, didn’t mum see this before? Why are you so jumpy?”

Harry cringed, “Yes she had…this…” he waved at the bed, “but she kept it…you know…hidden.”

Melissa’s lips were pursed, “Well, I’m sorry for not knowing ahead of time when I was going to get my period even though this is the first time for me!”

Harry flinched and moved towards the bed, “Alright, umm, I think we take off this sheet.”

Melissa rolled her eyes, “Not unless you expect me to sleep in a puddle of blood.”

Harry glared at her, “This is NOT the time for sarcasm!”

Harry ripped the sheet off the mattress and took them downstairs. Melissa heard the washing machine turn on full force. Harry came back into the room.

“Umm dad, shouldn’t you have washed out the stain first the put the sheet in the machine.”

“Too late now,” he said shortly.

Harry started scrubbing away at the mattress through which the blood had seeped. Sweat was dripping furiously down his forehead. He stopped momentarily to wipe his chin on his sleeve.

“Dad?”

Harry looked up tiredly, “What is it?”

“I need a pad.”

Harry and Melissa were laughing at the funny memory as they walked back to the black pajero parked across the street.

“It’s weird we can laugh at it now,” Harry said after fits of laughter.

Melissa nodded furiously, “I know.”

“We learn from our experiences.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Harry stopped, “By the way, I went by the pharmacy and picked you up a box of pads.”

Melissa blushed, “You shouldn’t have.”

Harry frowned, “What do you mean? This things happen once a month and you need to be prepared for…”

“No dad, I mean, I don’t wear pads anymore.”

Harry stood rooted to sidewalk, shock written all over his face, “What do you wear?”

“Tampons.”

Harry choked, “Please Mel, I’m too old for these surprises. You’re too young to get that thing up there!”

Melissa held down her head, completely embarrassed by her father’s outburst and walked on, “Dad, I think you take this ‘no secrets’ thing too far.”

*********************************************

It had been two years since Melissa graduated from Hogwarts. She had truly grown and changed. Her eyes were still their usual brown but now had flecks of emerald green. Her hair had grown to her knees, but she kept it in a long plait most of the time so that it would stay out of her way. She still lived with Harry and was currently dating an unspeakable, Andrew Winsor. Harry approved of him and sometimes, the three of them would have dinner together of just lounge around with a cups of tea and talk. Every day, Melissa went to work with Harry as they both worked as Aurors. Harry was the head of the department and Melissa only got fully trained and qualified the year before. Sometimes they worked on missions together, staking out dark wizards together and apprehending them together. Melissa loved to work with her father as Harry did with Melissa.

Melissa stood over a big pot of vegetable soup. She dipped a piece of bread in it and tasted. She was just adding a bit more salt when Harry walked in throwing down his briefcase on the counter.

“Hey dad,” Melissa greeted her father distractedly.

Harry walked into the kitchen, his robes unbuttoned, revealing his black jeans and blue oxford shirt. Melissa frowned when she saw him.

“It is so sloppy to look like that,” she said tightly.

Harry rolled his eyes and dipped a spoon in the pot for a taste. He cried out in pain as the soup burned his tongue. Melissa wordlessly handed him a glass of water, which he drank gratefully.

“Let me see,” she said.

Harry held out his tongue and Melissa made out a tiny scorch mark. She healed it with her wand, as she knew how uncomfortable those things could get when left alone.

“Have you seen Andrew today?” he asked deliberately.

Melissa shook her head, a slight frown crossing her features.

“No, why?”

Harry leaned back against the counter and ran a hand through his salt and pepper hair.

“He paid me a visit today.”

“Hmmm,”

“Yes and he asked for your hand.”

“Why would he want my hand?” she asked slightly confused.

Harry groaned in frustration, “Marriage you imbecile!”

Melissa dropped the spoon and spun to face her father.

“Excuse me?”

Harry smiled and took his daughter’s hand, “He asked for my permission to marry you.”

“And what did you say?” Melissa asked slightly dazed.

“I said, if you wanted to marry him, it was your decision, but he had my blessing.”

Melissa looked into her father’s twinkling green eyes and smiled weakly, “Thank you dad.”

“Hello?”

Melissa’s and Harry’s heads snapped up and they saw a tall man with light brown hair and twinkling aquamarine eyes. He walked up to Melissa and kissed her soundly on the lips. Harry turned his head away with a slight grin playing on his lips.

Melissa gently pushed Andrew away and kissed him on the tip of his nose.

“Hi sweetheart,” he crooned. He looked up at Harry and smiled, “Hello Mr. Potter.”

Harry returned his smile and nodded, “Andrew.”

Andrew looked back at Melissa, “I have to talk to you.”

Melissa looked at Harry who raised an eyebrow and she followed Andrew into the living room.

Harry stood by the kitchen doorway, hoping to catch bits and pieces of what was going on outside. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw Melissa walk back in the kitchen. She had tears in her eyes.

Harry opened and closed his mouth like a fish, “Why is everything so quiet? Why are you so sad?”

Melissa shrugged and sniffed, “I told him no.”

Harry’s jaw dropped, “You did what?”

“I said no dad! Damn it. Can’t you get through your skull?”

Melissa wiped the tears from her cheeks and looked down at her feet. Harry pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. He was so sure that Melissa wanted to marry Andrew. And he hadn’t minded, Andrew was a good, handsome boy who he knew would take care of his little girl. He opened his arms and Melissa snuggled in his embrace like she used to do as a child.

“I’m sorry dad.”

Harry rubbed her hair, “No, don’t be. It’s your decision to make. What happened?”

“I told him I wasn’t ready for this commitment. That I wanted to establish my career first before I thought of marriage.”

“How did he take it?”

Melissa sighed, “He said he understood. But I saw it in his eyes, he was disappointed.”

“If he’s the right one, you’ll marry somehow.”

Melissa broke away and smiled, “Thanks dad.”

Harry frowned slightly, “What for?”

Melissa took in a deep breath, “For caring for me after mum died, for being patient with me, for being my friend, for loving me.”

Harry sighed heavily and smiled, “Your mother would be so proud of you.”

Melissa looked at him questioningly and Harry nodded.

“Oh yes. If I know Hermione which I do…she would be proud of the bright, intelligent young lady you’ve become.”

Melissa nodded and turned back to her soup that was bubbling over the edge.

“I love you dad.”

Harry smiled to himself. These moments made him proud to be a father. The first was when he held her as a baby while Hermione slept, her brown eyes staring back at him inquisitively as recognition of her father slowly filled her gaze. He had no idea that he would end up raising her on his own, without Hermione by his side as they promised each other that was the way it would be. He wish Hermione were there to see their daughter now.

“I love you too.”