The Letter

Jenna Kathleen

Rating: PG
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 08/11/2004
Last Updated: 08/11/2004
Status: completed

Hermione sat down at her desk after the longest night of her life. After all, it’s not everyday you find out that your best friend is getting married. Especially if your best friend is the one person you couldn’t help but imagine marrying yourself.

Chapters

1. The Letter

1. The Letter

Hey guys. I thought that I would post this story I wrote after I wrote a letter to a guy I liked. But anyway, I thought that this would be a great tie in to the letter I wrote, (yes, that means that the letter in this story was the one for that guy…) which reminds me, will yall tell me if I should send that to him afterall.

Ok normal stuff now…I don't own the characters, but I own the plot and the original letter that I wrote. Read on.

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"Hermione, I asked you to lunch to tell you that I'm getting married. I asked Cho and she said yes." Harry said smiling as he took a bite of the chips he had ordered while at The Leaky Caldron.

Hermione just about choked on her wine. How could this happen? How could her Harry be getting married? And to Cho of all people? When had they started dating?

“Hermione, are you alright? I have never seen you choke on wine before.”

“Yes, Harry. I am ok. I just didn't realize that you two were serious about marriage. I didn't even know you were seeing each other.” Hermione told him, as she tried to avoid his eyes, so he couldn't see the hurt and vulnerability in her chocolate brown eyes.

“Ok. Well, what I wanted to ask you was, if you would, well me my Best Woman. I know that role is traditionally not in a wedding, but I want you and Ron to stand there with me. No one knew we were dating. We kept it secret so the press wouldn't hear about it until we were sure it was serious, and well, it is.”

“Wow, I wouldn't have thought. I mean, you said that you and Cho were over, like in what, fifth year? When did all this come around?” It took all she had not to cry just thinking about Harry marrying someone else, someone not her.

“Well, we have been dating for eight months now. It was amazing we kept it secret that long. I wanted to tell you and Ron, but Cho said that they could wait until we were engaged to finally let the secret out.” Harry had the nerve to smile while her heart was breaking. She always knew that his smile was one of her biggest weaknesses. All he had to do was smile to melt all her defenses and get her to agree to anything.

If only he would have smiled a bit earlier in the conversation.

“I don't know if I would be able to be a best woman, Harry. It doesn't seem right for me to be something that special.”

“Yes it does, Hermione. I want you and Ron to be there with me. I want you two to be there on the happiest day of my life. Just promise me you will think about it.”

“I promise Harry. I will think about it,” she said as he silently hoped he didn't notice her eyes fill with tears.

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Later that evening, Hermione opened the door to her flat and sat down the groceries she had bought before coming in. If you could actually call those groceries: a bottle of Firewhiskey, a pack of Butterbeer, a loaf of bread, and a box of spaghetti.

“It truly looks like I'm having some spaghetti and several drinks tonight.” Hermione muttered as she unpacked her bags. To tell the truth, that is all she wanted really. She wanted something to take her mind off Harry and the bad news he had delivered at lunch. Firewhiskey was just the thing. Before she put the spaghetti on to boil, she grabbed her wand and flicked on the radio where the first notes of one of the hottest love songs came on.

“Of course it had to be this, didn't it?” she asked the Heavens above. “What did I do to deserve this?” Silence ensued for several long moments and she decided to sit down and pour herself a shot of whiskey. “Of course, I wouldn't get an answer. Is it too much to ask for just to tell him that I am the one for him? That he should be marrying me, not Cho? Nothing will be the same anymore.”

Once the water had started boiling, she was already on her third shot of the whiskey and almost through her second Butterbeer. Sometimes she really hated Muggle cooking. Everything took so bloody long, and by this time she wasn't really hungry at all and just waved her wand to cut the stove off.

“I know what I can do, Crook,” Hermione said to her beloved cat, “I'll write a letter. Of course I won't send it silly. I will just write in the letter how I feel and then I will rip it up and toss it in the trash bin. Easy as cheesy.” Hermione giggled as she got to her feet realized she was more than a little tipsy; she was almost to the point where she was going to be sloshed. “Ok, Kitty, let's go get some parchment and a quill.”

When she returned from her bedroom with the parchment and quill, she sat down at the living room table and started writing:

Hiya, Harry. How are you doing? I'm ok on this end, considering the fact I'm writing this letter. I just want you to understand that this is extremely hard for me to send this to you, but I am not going to let this go on much longer. I can't live without saying this anymore, and I realize now that it would have never worked between us.

You know, I had held a little bit of hope out that we could have eventually dated, but I never knew how you felt. I've been afraid that you would have felt differently. I am happy for you finding Cho…I really am…and I hate to tell you this, but not all love lasts forever and sooner or later (like most relationships today) that love will eventually fade out to nothing. But I guess you have to have faith, and have no doubts that you will stay in love forever, and I hope you get that. Everyone deserves to be happy, including me. That's why I have to say goodbye.

Believe it or not, Harry James Potter, I fell head over heels for you, and you were the first man I ever loved. I just hate that we couldn't have had something other than friendship. I don't regret anything we've talked about because those conversations were some of the best memories of my teenage, and some of my adult life; I'm glad you were apart of that.

Oh, this is getting hard now…I just want to say that I love you, and that you will always have all of my heart, but I'm ready to move on now. I can't keep dwelling on the past, and the `what-might-have-beens'. I have to look toward the future.

Just do something for me: don't hate me. Most people say `honesty is the best policy,' but I'm not exactly sure that this is one of those times…even thought it is breaking my heart to continue this letter.

I hope you and Cho have a really happy, prosperous life together. You both deserve it.

I end this with a piece of experienced advice:

“It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance.”

Just promise me, you will learn to dance, because I'm already dancing a ballet.

I love you, Harry James Potter.

Just remember that…

Yours always,

Hermione

“There, Crook. All done. Now to tear it apart and toss it away.” She yawned and stretched out on the floor. “Not yet though. I must take a nap before I do. The bin is too far away at the moment--.” Before she could even finish the sentence, she was out like a light.

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“Hermione, are you in here? I have been trying to call for ages, and you haven't answered the floo.” Harry called from the front door of Hermione's flat. When she didn't answer he walked in and found one of the most adorable sites lying there on the floor. Hermione was there with her hands tucked under her cheek and her knees brought up to where she was almost in the fetal position.

“Hermione, wake up. You fell asleep on the floor working again. This is really not good for you, sweetheart.” He said as he swiftly picked her up, cradling her in his arms, and walked her to the bedroom and placed her on the bed.

“Love you, Harry--,” she whispered before she was asleep again. Harry had never felt the feeling of warmth that spread through his soul at the sound of those three little words. He shook his head to try and clear his mind, and walked into the living room where she had been lying on the beige carpet. That was one thing he admired about Hermione was her impeccable sense of color. Her apartment was done in many different shades of brown, green, and grays. She was truly an artist at many things.

“Drinking is apparently one of them.” Harry said as he found the rest of the Firewhiskey and the empty bottles of Butterbeer lying on the floor. But as he bent to pick up the last bottle of the beer he noticed a letter lying amongst them. He had no idea what forced him to pick up the letter, but once he read his name on the first line he couldn't tear his eyes away.

Before long Hermione's secret, the one no one was supposed to know was out.

Harry found he had some major thinking to do.

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That next day, Harry walked into Madam Malkin's Robes where Cho was currently working. She couldn't seem to hold a job for some unknown reason. Harry never understood why until now. He knew she was mooching off everyone, including Harry.

“Cho, I know you are in here. We need to talk.” Harry shouted. Thank goodness no one was in the store during this time of the day.

“Hi Sweetie. This is a pleasant surprise. Have you come for a quick rendezvous with the future Mrs. Potter? I know of this one place in the back of the store no one would even try to go in.”

Harry couldn't believe it. She was trying to seduce him in a public place. Hermione wouldn't even try to do that. There I go again; comparing everything Cho does to Hermione. I guess it is only right. I realize now that I never loved Cho. That was just lust. That will never be love.

“No, Cho. That is what we have to talk about. Do you have time?”

“Yes, of course I have time for my fiancé. What kind of person would I be if I didn't?” Cho asked Harry as she batted her eyelashes at him.

“I don't want to marry you anymore, Cho. I'm sorry. I just don't think it is right between us. Never has been, probably never will be either. I want my ring back, please.” This was the only time when Harry could truly say Cho was shocked. She didn't even look at him this way when he proposed. She almost looked relieved.

“Harry Potter, why would you want to break up with me? Especially when we have everything going so well for us? I like you Harry, I thought you liked me too.”

“That's just it Cho. We like each other, not love each other. There is a big difference. You know it, I know it, and the whole effing world knows it! I just don't know why I didn't see it earlier. I am not in love with you; I do love someone else, however. And I think I broke her heart yesterday. That is why I can't marry you, Cho. You deserve someone better, who won't think of another woman while you are in his arms. I would, you knew it back in my fifth year, and you know it now. I love Hermione, Cho. I hope you can accept that.” Cho could see the passion that this one woman could give the man standing in front of her, and she realized that she never would have been able to invoke that power in Harry.

“I can accept that, Harry. Hermione is a lucky girl to gain the love you can give her. I am glad you found out now and not later on in our marriage. But what made you change your mind now?” she asked Harry, and he told her everything from that lunch, to finding Hermione on the floor of her living room, and to finding the letter. “Harry, I am happy for you. I hope you two have a happy life together.” Cho took off the ring, placed it on the palm of his hand, curved his fingers over it, and winked as she said, “Go get her, Tiger.”

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Hermione woke up with a whopper of a headache. Never am I going to drink that much again. That was way too much to be drinking in one night anyway. And as luck would have it, she didn't have any hangover potion on her nightstand.

"If the world would stop spinning, I would have sworn that I was asleep on the floor. How did I end up in bed?" Once she was finally able to get up and make it to the loo, she realized that she did fall asleep on the carpet. Right after she wrote her letter. The letter. Whoever had moved her from the living room to the bedroom might not have seen it lying on the coffee table. She hoped anyway.

She made it to the living room right after she took a quick shower and pulled her robe on her shoulders. Immediately she knew something was absolutely wrong. The letter was missing and was replaced with a single red rose.

"Oh, no. Crookshanks, did you do something here? Please meow if you did." No meow, no nothing.

She walked into the kitchen to find another rose and a note lying on the kitchen table with a very familiar scrawl on the front of the envelope. Harry had found her letter.

Hermione ran over to the table and picked up the note and almost tore it in half. Her heart started racing with each word he had written to her.

Hermione,

I must talk to you immediately. Please meet me at Solazo's at eight o'clock tonight.

Harry

Smiling despite her nervousness Hermione put the note down and continued to get ready for work. It was going to be a long day.

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Hermione hadn't been at work for an hour before a dozen daisies come in for her. Thank goodness Flourish and Blotts didn't mind employees receiving packages while on the clock. After all, why would they turn down their best worker and best customer and lose her forever?

For once in her life, Hermione actually left work on time to get ready for her dinner with Harry. Just because he was marrying someone else, didn't mean she couldn't enjoy one last dinner with him by her side, just imagining Harry actually being hers forever. However, just because most dreams don't come true, Hermione could still dream for one night.

At eight o'clock Harry was waiting outside the doors at Solazo's. This was it. The night where he would tell the one girl he had ever loved, that he loved her. Hopefully, if all things went well, he would be able to take her home and show her just how much he loved her body as well as her mind, her soul, and especially that heart he had fallen in love with all those years ago at Hogwarts.

John Lennon was right. Love is all you need.

After Harry had left Madam Malkin's he walked around Diagon Alley for hours on end thinking about the feelings he had for Hermione and those fro Cho. He was right, Cho was lust; Hermione was love. Harry was so glad he realized that before he was married to the wrong woman.

He was just thinking about that when Hermione walked up to him and softly said, "Hi, Harry."

"'Mione you look amazing." And she truly did. She was wearing a knee length, black cocktail dress, with rhinestones strung together as the straps. Her long, brown hair was pulled up into an elegant but casual updo that sent curly tendrils framing her face. With the necklace and the earrings she had chosen to compliment the outfit she couldn't look more like an angel. Harry was silently thanking the gods that he had her and no one else did.

"You don't look so bad yourself, Potter." And he didn't, he was wearing a black tux and a he was a sight for sore eyes. Yes she had seen him just the day before, but she didn't have a broken heart at the time. A broken heart changes the outlook on everything around you. This she just recently found out personally.

"Shall we go in? I think our table is waiting for us." He smiled at her then. A true smile, one of the extremely few he had given anyone since Hogwarts and that was a true privilege for anyone to see. She knew at that moment, she would never be the same again.

"That would be nice." She took the arm he offered and was escorted into the restaurant. Hermione couldn't help but notice that there was nothing but candles floating around the room, and she could barely make out but just a few heads of those people who were sitting there eating their dinners.

Once Harry and Hermione made it to their own table in a corner of the room, the waiter pulled out her chair and she sat down and scooted her seat under the table just as Harry made it around to the other side. Just before the waiter left, Harry took the liberty to order one of Hermione's favorite wines.

As the wine was being poured Harry looked across the table and said, "Mione, you look gorgeous tonight. I would never have thought I would be sitting her with such a beautiful woman." Hermione smiled to herself, he said that like he truly meant it. As she took a sip of the chardonnay she thought maybe he did mean it. Getting married didn't mean he stopped seeing other women as beautiful.

"Thank you, Harry. That means a lot to me. Maybe I can were the dress at your wedding reception. After all, black isn't just for funerals anymore."

"That is what I wanted to talk to you about, Hermione. I don't want you to be in the wedding anymore." Harry figured out that the look on her face meant that he had hurt her by saying he didn't want her in the wedding. Knowing that he put the pain on her face and into her heart, he felt the lowest he had ever felt before in his life.

"Oh, I understand, Harry. I know you would probably just want Ron up there with you as a best man. I mean you two were friends even before I joined the circle. It is only natural to want your best mate with you. I know I would have wanted it that way." Hermione just hoped and prayed that Harry couldn't see her heart breaking any further apart. Some things just would never change. For Hermione, her broken heart would never change either.

"No, that's not it. When I went to your flat the other evening, I found that note you wrote to me. That's what changed my mind --."

"Oh, ok. I understand completely now. Harry, just because I like you doesn't mean that I will try to wreck your wedding. I would never do that. I want you to be happy, and I could never do anything to jeopardize that for you." Hermione said as she got up from the table, "Just remember this, Harry. What I said in that letter is true, every bloody word of it. I do love you and that will never change in a million years. If you don't want me in the wedding, I understand. Why not just save postage and not even send me an invitation at all?" Hermione turned and left the table with Harry sitting there dumbfounded, but before she could reach the door he grabbed her arm and turned her to where she was standing. It broke his heart to see the tears in her eyes, tears he had put there accidentally.

Harry's voice was the softest that she had ever heard when he said, "Hermione, that isn't what I meant. I mean that Cho and I are not getting married at all. There were several reasons our marriage would have never worked; I realize that now. But there was one major factor that made me realize that I never loved Cho: the letter you wrote, Hermione.

"That letter brought many things into prospective for me. I never really did like Cho; I didn't realize that the feelings I felt toward you were more than friendship until I read how you felt about me. If you still feel that way--." He slowly ran his thumb over her cheek to dry the tear that had just fallen down her face.

"Harry, those feelings will never change. Don't make a mistake on my account.” She rose up on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “Goodbye, Harry.” She turned and left Harry standing there, tears still in her eyes, her heart in pieces on the floor. Humpty Dumpty had nothing on her heart at the moment.

“Hermione --,” Harry said as she hit the door. “I love you, too,” he whispered as she kept walking through the door.

She never heard him.

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Harry hurried back to the table, tossed some money down to cover the coast of the wine, and apparated after her. Even before he reached her door, he could hear her sobs coming from the other side of the wall.

“Hermione,” he said as he opened the door to her flat, “I'm sorry about what happened. Please forgive me.”

Hermione's words were hard to decipher due to all her crying, “Harry, I really think I need to be on my own right now. Just go.”

“Fine Hermione, I'll leave if you want me to, but I want to say something to you first. I love you. I don't know how long I've had these feelings for you, but thinking back I know it's been a while. I'm sorry I didn't see it before I proposed to Cho and hurt you so bad, but I realize it now. I do love you, Hermione, I do. But I understand if you still want to be alone. Bye, Hermione.” He knew that his voice wasn't as steady as he would like it, but it was now said and done. He turned and started walking away from the doorframe when he heard Hermione sniff and say,

“Harry, wait.”

Harry turned back to her with tears in his own eyes. Not only was her heart broken, his was as well. “Harry, I'm sorry. I didn't want to ruin you and Cho, that wasn't my intention, honestly. You mean too much to me to make you feel sad and depressed.”

“The only thing making me depressed is that you think I broke it off with Cho because of your letter. I didn't do it because of that, not intentionally anyway. I did it because I realized I love you, Hermione. I never loved Cho. I love you.

“I have had feelings for you for a long time now, but it wasn't until lately that I knew exactly what these feelings were. It took a great big fall for me to do that. It was a fall that made me go head over heels for you. Please, Hermione.” Harry had no idea why he was pleading with her, but the look she gave him made him feel almost ten feet tall. She got up from the floor where she was sitting and walked over until she was standing within six inches of his chest.

“Oh Harry. Why were we so stupid to wait until now to say something?” She reached up and placed her hand on his cheek and gently rubbed her thumb over his bottom lip. “I don't know why I waited; I should have said something long ago. I am sorry for waiting.”

“Don't be sorry, Hermione. I'm not because you are mine now. Now and for always.” Harry took this time to grab her waist, pull her to him, and place his lips over hers for a kiss that showed just how much love, want, hunger, and need that they both felt for each other. “How about we take this inside?” he whispered into her lips.

“I couldn't have said it better myself, Harry.” Hermione whispered braking away from Harry so she could grab his hand and led him back into her flat. She brought him into her bedroom where they spent the night sharing their love for each other. By the time morning came they both knew that they would never be apart again.

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