Revelation Found

Dark Illusion

Rating: G
Genres: Angst, Drama
Relationships: Draco & Ginny
Book: Draco & Ginny, Books 1 - 5
Published: 11/12/2004
Last Updated: 11/12/2004
Status: completed

The truth will not set you free. The truth will chase you down to your very last breath and stab you right in the back. Initial mentions of H/G.

Chapters

1. Truth Hurts

1. Truth Hurts

Author's Note: Hmm, another decidedly sad one. This is a ‘Poor Ginevra Weasley, she’ll never be a bad girl unless she gets possessed again’ story. I own the poem. This version differs to the one at ff.net, only slightly though.

Revelation Found

Its core so sour

And flesh so sweet --

More or less

It’s morbid ecstasy.

Mourn the unlost, the victory.

Verboten beyond the grave;

Secrets among the rubble…

None as such and none alike

Than revelation found;

Love with no bound.

๑๑๑

Prayers, destiny, fate, karma, deception, truth, hate and most importantly love – these words that define us, bind us and unite us to be one single body with one single future. A cycle from an existence to a life for the living to die…

Yet in all matters that held special places in her heart, through the years of innocence and ignorance, his very demeanour scarred her.

๑๑๑

Sobs choked her throat for the first time since the wireless had declared war; she closed her eyes, letting a single tear roll down her cheek. It stung and her cheek burned viciously as the saline tear erupted its moisture upon her reddened dry skin. As fast as the first tear fell, along came another and soon enough Ginny found herself weeping in the corner of her lavender room.

Harry had painted it for her, he knew of her love for the colour so when he carried her into the room she was pleasantly surprised. It was charmed to forever smell of the flower too. It was the best thing she could have asked of him.

How he loved it when her eyes lit up at the sight of it. She knew he did, and she knew that that was partly the reason she smiled; for him, and maybe a bit for herself.

She had always been screaming inside. She would tell herself to just snap out of it, because it felt wrong, because it really was.

She hadn’t been what Harry had wanted and she had never been. She had realised that for a long time and she hated the fact that he hadn’t. He had told her he had wanted her with half hearted intentions. Harry had told her that she would make him the happiest man alive, when he had first told her that she had never felt so inclined to punch The-Boy-Who-Lived right on his shiny nose.

But that was true. Ginny could make him in his own foolish eyes, a Weasley through and through. And what boy who had grown up into the wizarding world with the Weasley’s not wanted to be one of them? That was what he truly wanted and she had known that for years.

Truth be told; she hadn’t minded at all when she thought she loved the idiot boy. The point was that his heart may have lingered toward Hermione but his eyes and stupid head travelled toward her and her Weasley name. Her family had always been there for him from the start, the stupid boy should have known it would always be like that.

Ginny remembered the time when he had tried to cheat on her. When Hermione’s strong morals stood between her and her true love, Ginny felt like jumping from her hiding place and telling them that they had her blessing.

But she didn’t. She sat and watched as they bickered until sunset. Wishing that he would just kiss Hermione so that she could rightfully break it off with him, but she knew he wouldn’t. Just as he, for they stood for what the family ideal was and who were anyone of them to break it.

But she had decided that she would not be used, that she would not give up her life for the Boy-Who-Lived so he could be eternally unhappy with her. Why was it always her who had to go around breaking everyone’s hearts and hopes? She’d be a disappointment once more and once again, the Weasley clan would wait for the day in history where she would achieve something great.

Secretly, both Harry and Ginny hoped for a break up. That was something she had only now been able to give him, to set him right and to set her free.

She had been the first Weasley daughter in generations and she had always known that her parents had high expectations, for her to be something great, or do something worldly. She had realised sometime during her childhood that just because something was great, didn’t mean it was good. Yet she didn’t dare to mention her thoughts with anyone else. To her parents, she had the power to change the world.

In reality she knew it was true.

So there she was -- single, alone and heartbroken. Harry took the break up all too well but not many others did. She had probably chosen the worst time to dump the Boy-Who-Lived; right before the war. She had come up to the lavender room ironically to hide from him and everyone else. She figured they hadn’t realised she hadn’t been around for a couple of hours. She felt a whole lot better up in the room alone, even if she had just cried her heart out. Then she felt guilty because she wasn’t heartbroken for any of the people she had planned to disappoint today.

She knew it was going to be hard for everyone now that even a man with half an eye and ear could understand that war was about to unleash its full capacity of hell. The WWW had announced war a week ago, that was probably when the realisation of her heart ache hit her.

Voldemort had finally built up the forces he felt were suffice, declaring war on the walls of the ministry with bright red blood. He brothers and Harry were to be called away any day. Her mother had almost fainted, even though she knew it was coming. Her father had aged a decade yet was still able to offer the family his never failing support and encouragement. Her brother’s wives’ were weeping almost everyday and her small nieces and nephews who were unable to comprehend the situation cried with their mothers anyway, knowing that something bad had occurred.

She remembered that after the announcement, Harry had taken her in his arms and had held her tightly. He told her that everything was going to be OK, that this would be the turning point of history and that he would also be OK. She remembered feeling numb after the announcement, accepting Harry’s embrace without bothering to wish that he would just hug her like a sister. She had expected the war, sure. But just the intensity of its reality really blew her away. She knew her family and the Order had waited for this moment from the first moment Harry stepped into Hogwarts.

Even in that state of shock that day, she could still feel those loving pairs of eyes that came from her family as she and Harry hugged. They loved Ginny and Harry together, and she hated that. She knew that their embrace would feed the monster of approval she had just crushed, but with all the expectation and sudden shock. It appeared to her that it was only Harry with open arms…

So she accepted him, even when he had planned to meet with Hermione later that night.

After all this time it was something that had to be done. Ginny wasn’t dumb but unfortunately Harry was. Everyone had taken the safe way until now, because now Ginny had broken everything they all had learnt to believe in.

But she wasn’t going to regret it, because really… her heart wasn’t in it.

She had set Harry free, even if he didn’t even know that was what he wanted. He now understood that love came first, and that family would follow. She had also set herself free, from another layer of burden she had found herself wrapped in so tightly she found it difficult to breathe.

She hoped Harry was with the one he wanted right now, the chances were high. At least he should be happy…

Initially she had just thought it to be some school girl fascination with the resident arsehole of the school and arch nemesis of her former fancy. It was strange that she had started to take a likening toward him when he treated her like dirt. She had thought that it might have been a subconscious experiment of contrast from what her last crush had treated her -- from nothing to grime on his precious shiny shoe. In the end, it was less than amusing to find out which one she had preferred.

It was a rung below the norm for her subconscious experiment to take a twisted turn during her 6th year and his 7th. She had tried to wait it out, but the hidden puppy love pining became something more like general concern for his well being. She had started to laugh when Draco had gotten detention or cursed again, knowing he’d get through it like the sulky brat he was. It was a general sense of care that she had started to feel for him.

Not for his wealth, his hair, his school status but for what was underneath it all. Whatever it was, a cold bastard or tragic unsung hero, she wanted to know and understand that person inside.

So the very thought of her crush becoming something more serious than planning their white wedding with a palace-by-the-sea reception was mortifying for her.

She had already thought about it. She had already known, they would lock her up and never accept it. She had nightmares about it… and she feared that if her feeling would never cease it would come true.

Then they’d blame it on Tom, and the time when he possessed her body, her mind and her soul. The time when even her family didn’t even recognize her strength when she rid herself of the diary and possession, placing all heroics on Harry who had gotten her into the chamber in the first place. The time when she had been forced to give up her childhood dreams and aspirations to a bodiless companion who at the time meant everything to her.

They’d blame it on evil, which they would most likely recognize as the only thing that embodied him; her object of fascination, admiration and obsession. Not Harry but Draco. Draco Malfoy.

They’d blame it on themselves, her parents and her brothers; for the first time Hogwarts had never seen so many Weasley’s and yet without noticing, she slipped away from their overprotective grasps she called suffocation, underestimation and ignorance. She had slipped away into the grasps of something much bigger than her body.

Her love, her desire and her obsession for him had raged on after all those years apart. His master was once her best friend – Draco Malfoy was her world. Without knowing him no less, along with his father and Lord wanting her dead from the first moment she was born.

They would blame it on just about anything else other than who was actually really to blame, her. A pitiful and almost frustratingly pathetic advantage of being Ginny was that no one had yet believed her to be able for anything.

When Harry kissed her for the first time, she remembered only his grey eyes. When Harry smiled down at her softly, she closed her eyes and could only remember his scorn, whenever he lost to Harry at Quidditch matches and whenever she ignored his stares at meal times. Picturing his sneer that meant everything and nothing to her at the same time; she had closed her eyes so that she could remember; so she could forget everything else.

She smiled. No one would ever know, only she…

Only she knew that there had never been a truth that hurt so much.

๑๑๑

It might only come down to one thing.

But be selfless.

Your desires will come down to prayers. Prayers will find your destiny and fate will take over everyday fortune, there will never be a day like today and it’s up to you to see another. Life’s obstacles may lead you to make sacrifices, but just see that as a loss for a gain. Life will make you hurt, suffer, cry and hate – and so you learn passion - the passion of emotion and its weaknesses and strengths. This passion will soon turn out to be your essence of living.

Replace the word ‘life’ with ‘love and you’d still get the idea across. Life is love. Love is life. It’s all the same, so don’t lie to yourself.

Truth follows deception but it is love will make you hate… so love.

-The End-