Disappear

Starlight623

Rating: G
Genres: Drama, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 12/12/2004
Last Updated: 12/12/2004
Status: completed

Songfic to Hoobastank's "Disappear." Harry and Hermione share a late night talk.

Chapters

1. Midnight Confessions

1. Midnight Confessions

A/N: I own nothing here. All things Harry Potter related belong to JK Rowling and the Warner Bros. and the book folks. The song (in lyrics) is “Disappear” by Hoobastank (I love them).

The story’s a bit fluffy, but I need some fluff right now. And I need to use this song. Love it!

Please read and review! It makes my gloomy winter days brighter.

***

Harry Potter lay awake for another night. He’d lost track of how many nights he’d been awake thinking. So many things ran through his head … Sirius, Cedric, his parents, Hermione, Dumbledore, Ron, Hogwarts, Hermione … wait, didn’t she go by once already?

Voldemort hadn’t taken everyone he loved away, but he certainly was trying. What would he do without Dumbledore, Ron … Hermione? Why did she mean so much all of a sudden?

‘Do you really have to ask?’ a voice in his head asked.

There's a pain that sleeps inside
It sleeps with just one eye
And awakens the moment that you leave

Of course she was the most important, the most influential, the most loving person in his life. No one had ever made him feel this way before. Like he belonged. Like he was … loved.

It was an entirely different concept to him. He had so much pain and so little love in his life, that he could remember anyway. Harry knew his parents loved him. The Weasleys loved him as well. And Sirius … Sirius did too. But he was beginning to notice the differences now.

He loved Ron as a brother. He loved Ginny as a sister. He just loved Hermione, hands down. Harry couldn’t help but wonder just for how long he had felt this way. How stupid had he been? Of course it was Hermione! Even at the tender age of 16, he knew.

Who always was there to comfort him? Who made the world right? Who was it that made him so lonely when she wasn’t in the same room? Hermione.

Though I try to look away
The pain it still remains
Only leaving when you're next to me

Sirius’ death still loomed over Harry. The fact that Voldemort could be right around any corner was very present in his mind as well. It truly wasn’t fair that someone so young should (literally) have the weight of the world on his shoulders. But with thoughts of Hermione, all of that heartache seemed lessened.

It was very likely that he wouldn’t even have made it this far in his life without her, so it stood to reason that he wouldn’t make it in the years to come without her as well.

“Hermione, I won’t be able to do this without you,” he whispered to himself, thinking that if he said it out loud, it may make things easier. “I feel safer with you. I feel stronger with you. No one else.”

Do you know, that everytime you're near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay

Suddenly, Ron snored and broke Harry from his reverie. He knew sleep wasn’t going to come anytime soon, so he climbed out of bed and tiptoed to the Common Room for some peace. He needed to think, to understand the feelings he had finally figured out. He couldn’t go to anyone else with this; it would seem too awkward. What he needed was a father – James or Sirius.

‘Don’t go there. It’s too much for right now,’ he thought.

When he got to the Common Room, he found that he wasn’t alone. Sitting in front of the fireplace was the subjects of his recent thoughts.

“Hi, Harry,” she said without even turning to see who it was.

“How did you know it was me?”

“Who else would be up now?”

Harry shrugged and walked over to her. He sat beside her and asked, “Why are you awake?”

“I don’t know. I just couldn’t sleep.”

“I know the feeling,” Harry sighed.

“Nightmares?”

“No. Just thinking.”

Hermione nodded.

They sat in silence for a few moments just staring into the dying fire.

Finally, Hermione spoke. “Harry, do you think we’re ready for him?”

“‘We?’ What do you mean by that?”

“Do you expect me to let you go alone?”

“Well, it was the plan, yes,” Harry said, surprised that she even entertained the thought.

“No.”

And there it was. A single word summed it all up.

“‘No?’”

“That’s what I said. I said no. I refuse to let you go alone,” she said softly.

Suddenly, Harry thought of all those lost and how devastated he’d be if Hermione were part of their ranks.

So I stand and look around
Distracted by the sounds
Of everyone and everything I see
And I search through every face
Without a single trace, of the person
The person that I need

“Do you even understand what that means?” he asked.

“Yes. It means being there for you when you need me the most. Isn’t that what … friends are for?” she said with an odd tone.

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You didn’t ask. I’m telling.”

Silence again.

“Hermione … do you know how much you mean to me?” Even Harry wasn’t totally sure where he was going with this.

“I think so. Why?”

“Because you may be the most important person in my life and I couldn’t bear to lose you!” Harry said, slightly louder than he had meant.

Do you know, that everytime you're near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay

“Harry, you won’t! You’ll never lose me!”

“Don’t you think other people have thought that too? My parents? Sirius?”

“Why are you doing this?” she asked. “Why do you keep beating yourself up over that? None of that is your fault!”

“Hermione, people who get near me end up dead! I just don’t want you to end up like them.”

“Harry Potter! I refuse to let you do this to yourself!” She put her arms around him and held him close. She heard the quiet sobs he finally let go of, but said nothing. He needed to let it out. It was time.

Can you make them disappear?
Make them disappear

She didn’t know how long they had stayed like that, desperately clinging to each other for solace. Eventually, Hermione adjusted herself comfortably on the couch and put a pillow on her lap for Harry to lie on.

“Can we just stay like this?” Harry asked.

“Of course. For how long?”

“Forever work for you?”

“Yeah. That’s fine,” she replied with a laugh. “I’m sure the school will have no problem bringing our meals up here and having all the classes here as well.”

She heard Harry give a small laugh and it warmed her heart.

Harry began to think about all the people that sacrificed their lives for him. They wanted him to live. Maybe it was time to start living.

“Hermione?”

“Yes, Harry?”

Harry sat up to look into her eyes. They sparkled even in the cooling embers.

“I need to talk to you.”

“I’m listening.”

“When I asked you if you knew how much I cared about you, I don’t think you really know the answer. I care for you … well, more than you know.”

“I think I know.”

“See, Hermione after thinking about it, I really think I – wait, you know?”

“Harry, you’ve grown up in such a terrible home, I know you doubt your experience with love, right?”

“Well, yes.”

“So, you wouldn’t really know love if it walked up to you and kissed you on the nose, huh?”

“If you want to put it that way, but I’m not sure where you’re going with--”

And then, Hermione leaned forward and kissed Harry on the nose.

“This is love, Harry.”

He blinked. Did she just say that? “I hope so.”

“Don’t hope. It is. You know it when the person you love leaves the room and you feel empty.”

“Like if I don’t see you soon, I’ll fall apart?”

Hermione nodded.

There's a pain that sleeps inside
Sleeps with just one eye
And awakens, the moment that you leave
And I search through every face
Without a single trace, of the person
The person that I need

Hermione motioned for Harry to lie in her lap again.

“I meant what I said, you know,” Harry said.

“When?”

“When I said that you’re the most important person in my life. You’re even more important than Ron. But please never tell him that.”

Hermione smiled. “Of course. I know better.”

Harry smiled as well.

“And I meant what I said as well,” Hermione said.

“What’s that?”

“When I said that this is love. It’s scary, but it’s so wonderful as well.”

“Yeah. I just feel so stupid that I hadn’t seen it earlier.”

“How can you expect to understand something you have so little knowledge of? Harry, all you really need to know is that I will teach you. Ok?”

Harry nodded, not having the words to express his gratitude.

Hermione stroked his hair for a while, hoping that he would fall asleep. It would be uncomfortable for her on the couch like this, but she would sacrifice for him. Suddenly, he sat up.

“We are ready.”

“I know.”

“But there’s so much more to it. Hermione, I need to tell you about the prophecy. I know everyone thought it broke, but Dumbledore told me all about it. There’s a lot of stuff in there, but it all comes down to one of us killing the other. We can’t exist together. But I need the power that he knows not and I have it now!”

Hermione’s expressions varied between horror and confusion.

“Love. I have love. Voldemort has no power over that. I will win because I have you.”

She began to tear up. “Oh, Harry! You can’t die. Not now!”

“I won’t, Mione, I won’t. Not when I have so much to fight for.”

He held her close, much like she had just done for him.

She wiped her eyes, pulled back a bit and gave a little smile. “What did you just call me?”

“Um, Mione. Do you not like it?”

“No, I love it. But can we keep it just for us? I’d hate to hear Ron call me that.”

“I’ll call you anything you want and keep any secrets for you. You happen to be my world, you know.”

“And you’re mine. And I expect you to win this fight so that we can finally have our lives back. I’d like to be able to live in peace with my boyfriend.”

Boyfriend. The word resounded in Harry’s brain. How wonderful!

“Yes, well. Looks like I’ve got a very demanding girlfriend that requires me to win, so what can a guy do?”

Hermione laughed and suddenly Harry realized how he’d never tire of hearing it. Her laugh would be his new happy memory to conjure a Patronus.

It was a bit of a surreal moment as the laughs died down and they stared into each other’s eyes.

Neither one knew who leaned in first, but as their lips met, it was pure perfection.

‘This is what it’s all about,’ Harry thought. ‘This is why my parents died for me – so that I could have this. Love.’

Harry hoped that Voldemort wouldn’t learn of this for a long time. He didn’t want Hermione to become a target. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that she never gave him the choice. She was fighting with him … because she loved him. Love. It was a good feeling.

As their kiss ended, Hermione sighed. “For now, can we just make the world go away?”

“Of course, love. We’ll stay right here and they’ll disappear for the night. It’s just us.”

The rest of the night was spent with tender kisses, snuggling and sleeping in each other’s arms. There was still a lot to discuss: who they were going to tell, when they would tell them, how to keep things out of the press, but all that could wait until the morning. Tonight was theirs.

Harry still didn’t know what would happen in the future, but with Hermione by his side, he knew it had to be good.

Do you know, that everytime you're near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay