Hidden Desires by looneylupin

Rating: R
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 12/12/2004
Last Updated: 01/01/2005
Status: In Progress

A co-authored fic by myself and Seagoddess, contains Vampirism- a H/Hr and Draco/Ginny Harry
Potter, depressed and seemingly alone during the summer makes a mistake that changes his life. When
he returns to Hogwarts he has to hide his true identity from everyone around him. A mistake gives a
glimpse of his true form, who will see? When someone approaches him about what he really is, what
kind of deal will he have to make? Ready to do anything in order to stay alive Draco notices
changes in an enemy that Doesn't seem to be normal. When Draco finds out what Harry is really
up to will he be willing to keep his secret in order to save himself?




1. Hidden Desires
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Chapter 1: Hidden Desires

Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling nor do I claim to own these characters. Myself and Seagoddess
are only using these for our amusements.
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Chapter 1 by: looneylupin
*************************************************************

The room was cold and empty except for the sixteen year old wizard lying on his bed. Harry Potter
was lonely, he had never felt so much pain in his life before. It wasn't physical pain, it was
purely emotional. Sure the constant twinges from his scar were annoying but nothing compared to the
loss he felt. His godfather was gone and it was his fault.

He had spent the entire summer inside of his house. A house he hated but still had to call home. He
refused to speak to anyone and lied in every letter he received. He knew that people were worried
about him, but how could they understand what he was going through; he was a murderer. The early
morning air flowed through the window as Harry stood to look out. For many nights he had felt
someone's eyes on him but he had yet to spot them. He knew it was an order member.

The constant nagging coming from his aunt to make himself useful annoyed him greatly, but not more
than the constant stares he received from his uncle. They had understood the warning they received
at Kings Cross Station when they picked him up but nothing could stop the amount of hatred they
held for him.

The moonlight streaming through the window gleamed off an object lying on his desk. Abandoning the
window he made his way over to the object and picked it up. A knife, a kitchen knife. He had nicked
it from the dishwasher one day while his aunt was outside spying on the law abiding neighbors. Ever
since he has thought over and over why he took it, was it just a spur of the moment thing or could
his conscious be telling him something? The moonlight danced across the blade as he turned it in
his hands. He ran his finger slowly across the tip letting it slash him, immediately his stuck his
finger to his mouth and tasted the metallic fluid.

He didn't mind the taste, most people did the exact same thing. It wasn't the blood he was
noticing but the pain from the cut. It blocked out everything he was feeling at that exact moment
and his entire body focused on the cut. He immediately realized why he had hidden the blade in his
room for weeks. Harry sat down on the side of his bed and traced a line down his forearm with the
knife letting the blood trickle to the floor. He did the same with the other arm and laid back on
his bed hanging his arms to the side. He had cut deep enough to block the emotional pain, but he
didn't realize he had cut deep enough to kill himself.

**********************************************

The night was beckoning her but she had to stay put. The old man had warned her that if she left
her post again that he would kill her himself. She always wondered why people were afraid of him,
that was until she faced the wrath herself. Doesn't the old man understand that she cannot stay
in one place hidden when she needs to feed, did he want her to starve? Well she wouldn't starve
she knew, she could easily grab a couple rats from the sewers as her dinner and that would be it.
Only she hated Rats.

The moon was high which meant it was around 2am and the boy was still awake. She had been on guard
for a week straight. She was sure it was some kind of discrimination against her kind but she could
hardly make a case for it. She was one of the only ones who has sided with Dumbledore. Just because
she was considered a creature of the night and just happened to drink blood didn't make her a
bad person. OK sure she had killed a few... hundred people in her life but what was she suppose to
do?

Looking up to the two story house she saw the boy looking out the window, she thought he had seen
her the night before and refused to remove herself from the shadows again the rest of the night.
She didn't really care that much about the boy and the order had refused to tell her why she
was suppose to be watching him. All she knew was that she was suppose to keep him out of danger.
What was he going to do inside the house, bore himself to death?

She had spent the entire summer trying to find more vampires to see that Albus Dumbledore had the
right idea, most of the time she was sent away with cuts and bite marks. They refused to help a
wizard, the kind who had shunned them for centuries. Still she sided with the old man, there was
something about him that she trusted. Maybe it was the twinkle in his eyes.

Thinking back to the way she was approached she would have never thought she would be in this spot
at this time. In a muggle pub somewhere in downtown London she was hunting. Of course she had to
find a new spot every night or people would begin to notice. This night was different though, she
was flirting with the local drunk, sure she could take him down some abandoned alley and then suck
his blood till he was dry. He didn't know that though, still he flirted with her. He would lay
is hand on her thigh as she pretended to be interested in some joke he thought was amusing, the
only thing she could see was the pulsing in his jugular. Then from no where someone tapped her on
the shoulder and asked to speak with her outside.

She was sure the man was an escapee from the insane asylum a few blocks away but after she took a
better look at him she recognized him as none other than a werewolf. He had a lot of nerve
approaching her in public when she was about to kill. He put up a good argument with her and in the
end convinced her of what needed to be done. As a peace offering he gave her a pint of blood he
conjured from the local blood bank, they would never miss it. As she sank her teeth into the bag
and drank the rare blood type she was sealed, which she knew was what he wanted. Now she was here.
In this boring street with a bunch of muggles that led boring lives and taught their children to
lead boring lives as well.

Supposedly she had one of the most important jobs in the order. “Anathiel..” Remus said. That's
the werewolf. “You have to keep a close eye on this boy he is vital to everything that is going on
in this war.”
“Sure,” she mumbled. How important could a 16 year old boy be?

As she walked back and forth between houses 3 and 4 she caught a whiff of blood. Thinking that it
was just an injured animal she ignored it. The longer she waited the more prominent the smell was.
She was sure it was coming from the boys open window.

“Bloody hell..” she muttered as she slowly made her way into his bedroom.

She found something she had not expected to see. The boy that she was suppose to be guarding was
lying there bleeding to death. Her hunger took over and before she realized it, she was kneeling on
the floor beside the boys arm drinking what little amount of blood he had left.

After she stood and realized what she had done she knew there was only one thing left. She
couldn't take him to St. Mungo's, they would never make it in time and the boy would die.
What would the crazy old man say to her then?

Acting on pure instinct the young vampire slashed her own wrist and stuck it to the boys mouth. She
watched as the blood flowed into his mouth and his eyes shot open. He clamped down on her arm and
sucked with all the power he had.

`Shit, that's enough!” she whispered.

Wrenching her arm away from him she watched as he fell backwards onto the bed and began convulsing
wildly. She knew what was happening to him, it had only been thirty years since it happened to her.
A vampire's life is a long and lonely one and she knew she had damned him to one now but what
was her choice. She had three days left in the week before she was to guard him when he left for
the order head quarters but instead she had killed him and made him a vampire, she was sure to get
in trouble.

“What, is happening?” she heard him mutter. The first words he had ever spoken to her.

“Your body is dying, it will be over soon.”

She sat on the bed and tried to hold him down. It only lasted a moment but the effect on the
surroundings could be dangerous. He stopped moving and sat up. She saw that his eyes were a
brilliant shade of green and she was sure they were beautiful before. His clothes were torn from
the episode and his body was pale but well defined now, a benefit of being un-dead. His messy hair
was wet with perspiration and she leaned over to wipe his brow. He grabbed her wrist and pulled it
to his mouth and bit down.

“Hey now, I only have so much.” she whined as she jerked her wrist away.

She watched as the boy licked the blood from the corners of his mouth and stared at her. “I want
some more.” He said.
“Yes well we will get some more but first we need to do a few things. What's your name by the
way?” she asked nonchalantly.

“Harry, what's yours?” He whispered as he got up to pack his things.

“Anathiel, I was suppose to be protecting you.”

“Nice job.” he replied sarcastically.

“Smart ass.” she muttered back at him as she helped him pack.

After he was packed and had everything ready to go she stopped him. “There are a few things you
need to know. Number one, we can go in sunlight but it really irritates our skin and if we are out
in it too long we can burn. Number 2 garlic is a myth and doesn't bother us. Number three you
have to feed everyday or you will not be strong enough. Now speaking of strength you have a little
more now and you are faster. Also you can fly a little way but not very far. It takes a lot out of
you. Ready to go now?”

Harry stared at her for moment before she jumped from his window and flew on. She watched as he
mounted his broom and followed her. She knew where to take him but what would they say to
her?

It wasn't long before the familiar lights shown below them and Anathiel waved for Harry to
land. She saw that he knew at once where they were and was apprehensive about going in.
Concentrating on what she had only learned a few weeks ago the house between number 11 and 13
appeared before her eyes.

As she stepped into the entrance hall she was greeted by the werewolf.

“Do you ever sleep?” she asked him.

“Not when it is almost the full moon, why are you back so early?” he asked her.

“Well you see there was a bit of a problem with the boy-“

“Is he ok?” He asked suddenly.

“In a sense...” She waved for Harry to come in and sit his things down.

When Remus saw him he knew exactly what had happened and what Harry was.

“Hello professor.” Harry said politely

*************************************************
Harry had never been more terrified in his life. Here he was facing his professor and he was now a
vampire, he had a sudden thirst for life literally and noticed how nice his old professor's
neck looked. Mentally cursing himself he looked away and at Anathiel, she seemed as terrified as
Harry felt.

“I don't know what to say... how did this happen?” Remus finally blurted out.

Harry was spared the details as Anathiel went into a long rant about having to watch him for a week
straight and then finding him with his wrists slashed. He saw the sympathetic looks he received
from his former professor and they only angered him. When the vampire finally finished her story
Harry was tired and knew he needed to sleep. Excusing himself he made his way up to his bedroom he
shared with Ron.

When he got upstairs he saw the Weasley's and Hermione were already packed and ready to go to
Hogwarts at the end of the week. He was suppose to join them at the Order the day before they left
and now he had to spend three days locked inside this house with people he knew where going to be
terrified of him if they found out what he was.

Harry slowly crept into the bedroom where Ron was lying with his head thrown back and mouth wide
open snoring. Harry silently laughed at his best friend as he crawled into bed and fell into a
dreamless sleep.

*******************************************************

“How could you?” Remus yelled at her for the fourth time that night. “He is just a 16 year old boy,
he didn't want this!”

“Neither did I, but I learned to live with it. Would you rather him died, because that was what was
going to happen if I didn't turn him?” Anathiel yelled back.

Albus Dumbledore had been called and was now sitting with them as well as Arthur and Molly Weasley.
Severus Snape sat at the end of the table smirking.

“Please just don't blame him, he didn't ask for it!” Anathiel whispered “He was trying to
kill himself..”

Molly Weasley's hand flew to her mouth in shock and Dumbledore leaned forward as if trying to
listen closer.

“What's done is done Remus, all we can do now is help him adjust to the changes.” The old man
spoke softly.

“Don't you understand, Sirius trusted me to watch Harry after he was gone and Lily and James
trusted him. We let them down, Harry is a vampire and it's my fault.” Remus complained. `He
doesn't deserve to go through the discrimination that I have.”

“He will survive Lupin, I have done quite well.” Snape voiced.

“Yes well you were always a creature of the night even before you were changed.” Remus told
him.


“Be that as it may, I see no reason to give Potter any more special attention. Just because he is a
little different now doesn't change anything.” Severus told them all.

“Severus, there are things you do not know about Harry, none of you know. He is very important to
this war Vital in fact. If Harry does not survive then we are all doomed.” Albus spoke with wisdom
as he went on to explain to them the contents of the prophecy.

The affect the words of the prophecy had on the room were instant. Molly Weasley tried to hide her
tears and Remus just sat dumbfounded. No one could understand why it had to be Harry.

“Now you see why he is so important and he is more than a little different. Harry's power is
his ability to love, something Voldemore has never had. Only with this power will he defeat him,
vampire or not. I am telling you all now that this is not to leave this room. No one else is to
know about what Harry has become unless he feels that they should know.” Dumbledore told them. “Now
if you will all excuse me I need to go to bed at least for a few hours.”

Anathiel sat and stared at the seat where Albus Dumbledore had just been sitting. She hated the way
he could vanish from thin air and reappear without a sound. She was surprised that he had not
berated her for what happened with Harry but she was sure he was waiting for a time when they could
be alone.

Slowly she made her way out of the headquarters to find some blood for herself and for Harry. If
she wasn't mistaken he would be very hungry when morning came round and she needed to make sure
he didn't attack any of his friends. That is unless he decides to attack her first.

Making her way down the abandoned street she saw a woman leading a man down an empty alleyway for
what seemed like cheap sex. Prostitutes weren't the best tasting but when you are hungry enough
you will take what you can get. Following the unsuspecting couple silently she prepared a flask to
fill with blood to take back to the boy, she hoped it would be a peace offering for her destroying
his life. Knowing that it would never make up for what she had taken away from him she knew it was
a start.

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A/N: Also I know that Snape is not really vampire I just made him one for my own amusement. Alright
tell us what you think? Please review.
Also there won't be another chapter unless we get ten reviews for this one. So please I am
begging you tell us what you think.


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2. Scared to Death
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Chapter 2: Scared to Death

AN: This chapter is by Seagoddes
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“We now lay him down to rest for his final time. His purpose here on earth is done and he has
served his master well.”

Draco watched as six death eaters brought over the jet black coffin that inside held his
grandfather.

He had been fighting in a war against Dumbledore when he had been killed by aurors.

Draco could not say that he was very close to his grandfather but the fact that he had been killed
in the battle hit him hard. All his life his father had said that when he came to a certain age he
too would get the mark that made him, as his father described, a member of their family.

He looked over at his mother who was standing straight across from him and saw the all too common
neutral face that seemed to be stapled on there for all occasions. She was holding fathers had and
Draco looked at his face. Again there was something that made him think that his father went
through many funerals as to the way he choose not to show any emotion.

Not only that but his father was freshly broken out of Azkaban and his eyes were even more sunken
in then they had been before.

Draco watched as they lowered the coffin into the ground and began filling it in with dirt.

****************************************************

Draco threw aside the only letter that he had gotten all summer ,which had been from Severus Snape
asking him to be a teachers assistant the following year for the classes when he taught the first
years.

He smirked at this knowing that he would have just as much fun tormenting the first years as Snape
did. Taking off his black jacket and tie he began wondering about exactly just how may funerals his
father had seen and been through. Although Draco did not let it show he did not like the idea of
dying.

He opened the door to his room and began making his way towards the kitchen when he heard the all
to familiar sound of his fathers voice echoing off the bare walls of the hall.

He stopped when he grew closer to his parent room and held his breath in order to hear what they
were saying.

“I don't know how much longer we are going to be able to wait Narcissa", he heard his
fathers voice say in a somewhat quiet voice.

“Now of all times, they have to want him ?”“he heard his mother reply.”

“We are losing greatly in the war. Master refuses to say such things but I know they are true,
thousands of our allies are dying everyday”

“I have no dought about that but we must be able to get more. We should not have to resort to this
so early on” Narcissa said to her husband.

Draco listened intently not knowing at the time what they were talking about other than something
to do with Voldmort and the war.

“But there aren't anymore. We have talked to all that would be our allies and the rest
Dumbledore has already gotten to and it looks like they are more likely to go with them than with
master” Lucious said pitifully.

“There must be.”., Narcissa started.


“There is no other way! We must get everyone that we can in order to win. You do like the life you
live right. If we lose this war you can say bye to everything we know and hello to a cell in
Azkaban!”

Draco heard what seemed to be the sound of his mother `s soft sobs but other than that the room was
quiet.

“It seems the only way. Draco will have to get the dark mark and start fighting at the end of this
school year. At the last meeting, master made it clear that this is what we would be doing. He
already doesn like the idea that we are losing but also that we are losing so badly. Recently
intelligence learned that they no have vampires on their side”.

“But don't we have them on our side as well?” he heard his mother ask dryly.

“Yes, but we don't want them on their side. They were suppose to be our last resort, they are
such a great advantage that we would surely win but now we do not know how many are spying for
Dumbledore.”

“I see” Narcissa said.

“Basically all we can do is tell Draco that he will be getting the mark much sooner than planned. I
know that he is still unsure about getting it but he is my son and he will not disgrace this
family”

Draco did not stick around to hear anything more; he now knew that what they had been talking
about. They were sending him into danger at the end of the school year. He did not understand every
detail about what they had been talking about but he had figured out most of it.
His father had always told him that they were the one that would defeat Dumbledore and Harry Potter
but the way it seemed now was that it was very much the opposite. Not only were they losing but
thousands were dying all the time because of it.

Draco went to the kitchen but realized that he was no longer hungry so instead turned and went down
one of the halls that contained the library.

*****************************************************

It had been an hour since he had entered the library and he could still not find a book that had
anything to do with immortality.

The library at his house was not much different from the one that was at Hogwarts only that there
was a much larger restricted section that contained everything from the potions on how to change
plants into people to how to perform the perfect killing curse.

There were at least twenty books surrounding Draco as he sat at one of the tables flipping through
the pages looking for anything that would help him.

So far he had been lucky as to not be disturbed but he did not know how much longer that could
last. If he was right his father would soon be looking for him in order to tell him that he was
going to have to get the mark at the end of the school year.

Just as he was looking at all the ways to cause muggle pain he heard the door of the library creak
open. He stopped moving as he heard the foot steps comes closer to where he was seated.

“Draco there you are” it was no use his father had found him.

“Hello father” Draco said bitterly.

“I have been looking for you, I have something very important to discuss with you”.

“What is that? Draco said trying to sound at least half interested.

“Well as you may or may not know the war against Voldmort is not going to well and I must say that
we are losing numbers everyday”

He stopped and looked at Draco with a face that said you better shut up and not say a word until
I am done now.

“So the last time we had a meeting we decided that our younger to be members would now be joining
our ranks. So I must tell you that at the end of this school year you will be joining the
Death-eaters.”


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Please review

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3. Broken
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Chapter 3: Broken

Chapter 3 by looneylupin
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Harry blinked as the sunlight poured into the room. He could feel the burning sensation on the back
of his eyes, he really needed to find some kind of charm that would protect him. Sitting up he
checked his wrist watch and saw that it was already 2 in the afternoon. He was surprised that Ron
let him sleep so late.

Gathering some clothes he ran to the bathroom and quickly showered and got dressed. After that he
made his way down to the kitchen where he knew everyone would be. Sitting on one side of the room
was Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Remus. On the other side of the room was Anathiel.

“Morning Harry,” she spoke calmly.

“Morning? Don't you mean afternoon?” He asked with venom.

“I told you last night that you were a smart ass.” Anathiel smacked him on his ass as he walked by.
Harry jumped and turned around and glared at her.

“You... you know that?” Ron stuttered as Hermione smacked him on the arm. “I mean her?”

“Er, yeah. Why?” Harry asked.

Ron leaned over and whispered as if everyone in the room didn't hear him. “She is a
vampire..”

Harry rolled his eyes at his best friend before he sat down beside of Anathiel. She pushed a glass
full of dark liquid toward him.

“What's this?” Harry asked eyeing the glass.

“Drink, it will help.” Harry thought for a minute before he realized she had handed him a glass of
blood.

As soon as he had downed the entire glass he felt alive, more alive than he had his entire life.
His senses were heightened, he could hear the tiniest exhale of breath. He saw that Ron and
Hermione were staring at him from the other side of the table.

Trying his best to ignore the stares he was receiving from his best friends Harry thanked Anathiel
and told her that it made him feel much better.

“Harry?” Hermione asked him quietly. “Are you feeling alright?”
“I'm feeling fine Hermione, why?”

“You look so pale, are you sure that you aren't sick?”

Harry understood what she was talking about and quickly thought of a lie to cover it up. “I uh, I
just haven't been outside much this summer is all.”

**********************************************************

Anathiel paced the drawing room of Number 12, she was waiting for Harry to sneak out of bed and
join her. She had to show him how to get his own food. She couldn't stay with him forever.
Harry had done well all day, hiding his true identity from his friends. She had to admit that the
girl was smart, if Anathiel didn't stay away from Harry she was sure Hermione would figure it
out.

In no time Harry was standing in the doorway watching her pace with a smirk on his face.

“What took you?” Anathiel asked him.

“Ron, he wouldn't stop talking. Sorry.”

Slowly they made their way down the empty street, drifting between the shadows cast by the street
lamps. Harry was tempted over and over to ask her where they were going but decided against it. He
needed to learn how to feed on his own and he was sure that asking to many questions would surely
drive Anathiel away.

The light of the neighborhood was fading from around them, they were in complete darkness only
Harry could see perfectly. The slight breeze fluttered the leaves in the trees, the streets they
were walking through were void of anyone, the entire place was deserted.

“Where are we?” Harry asked in a whisper.

Anathiel stopped and peered around at the boy before answering him. “We are in a part of London
where only the beggars and braggarts go. You won't find much here, this is where we
feed.”

Harry stared at her dumbfounded. “I thought we wouldn't find anything here?” he asked staring
at the homeless man holding out his cup for him to fill. His heart broke for them.

“Exactly the reason we come here. No one will miss these people.”

Harry could here the spite in those few words, no one would miss them. How had these people ended
up where they are, food for the un-dead? Harry watched as she approached an older man, mid
seventies at least. She wanted Harry to help her with him but he couldn't bring himself to it.
He couldn't make himself murder a human...
Anathiel lured the poor man closer to her with a promise of food, she leaned closer to whisper into
his ear and bit him. As the blood quenched her, she looked up to Harry to see that he was not
looking. In fact he seemed to be trying his best to ignore what was going on. Draining the old man
dry she let his body fall to the ground and did a quick vanishing spell to remove him from her
sight.

“Why weren't you watching?”

“I was distracted, those girls over there..” Harry pointed to the group of young girls across the
street. They were clearly trying to keep his attention.

Anathiel thought for a moment before responding. “Fine then, you go over there lure one of them
away and feed.”

“What?” Harry yelled. He couldn't believe he was going to have to do this. “I, I can't do
that, I can't take another persons life!”

Anathiel peered down at him, it was only then that he realized that she was close to his age. She
was at most twenty years old. The girl really was rather beautiful, her dark hair hung past her
shoulders, grey eyes that could peer into your soul. Harry was transfixed with her eyes, it was as
if she was controlling him. Disregarding earlier conviction about the task Harry strolled across
the street to the group of girls.

“Hi,” one particularly outspoken one said to him. She had been the one giggling at him
before.

“Hello, would you like to go for a walk?” Harry asked with a confidence he had never before
experienced.

The girl blushed before nodding at him in agreement. Out of the corner of his eye Harry saw
Anathiel approach them and begin to follow them. Harry walked the girl a couple of blocks before he
became annoyed with her incessant rambling. A small alleyway was near and Harry could feel fatigue
taking over. If he didn't feed he would be too weak to make it home alone. If he did feed he
would be killing an innocent girl.

The girl stopped him in front of the alleyway and leaned in to kiss him on the cheek. He could see
her jugular vein pulsing and he was so close to her. One taste wasn't going to hurt
him...

**************

Anathiel watched Harry from afar, she had doubted him at first but now she saw that he would be
able to take care of himself. She had watched him walk the girl around the streets struggling with
his inner conscious. After turning away for a moment she had found them in the dark alleyway. He
had the girl leaned up against the brick wall draining her of her life. To an innocent passerby it
would appear to be meaningless sex, nothing more. To someone who knew better it was easy to
see.

“Never drink after their heart stops..” she informed him.

Within a matter of seconds Harry had let the girl's body fall to the ground with a thud.
Anathiel waved her wand and the body disappeared.

“Ready to go home?”

Harry never answered.

*******************

Harry was having an inner battle with himself the entire way back to Grimmauld Place. He hadn't
even realized that they were back. Instead of going to bed he walked slowly into the kitchen and
slumped into a chair. Expecting to be alone, he was mistaken.

“Rough night?” Remus asked him.

Harry nodded at the man.

“I understand..”

“No you don't, you have no idea. I killed a girl tonight.” His voice was shaky.

Remus couldn't say anything to help him, he had never been faced with something like this
before.

“I know someone who can help you and I don't mean Anathiel.” he spoke softly.

Harry perked up slightly, he lifted his head from the table where he had slammed it before and
stared hard at Remus.

“Now don't say anything until I am finished Harry, I know what I am talking about.” he took a
deep breath. “Severus Snape, he is a vampire as well.”

Harry stared blankly at his former professor. Had he really just said that Snape was a
vampire?

“You are joking right?” Harry smiled at him, his fangs threatened to show.

Remus neither smiled nor laughed, Harry knew he was telling the truth.

“How can he help me?”

Remus took a sip of his tea and stared at Harry over the edge of the cup. The boy genuinely wanted
and needed help, Severus had not offered but he needed to help Harry.

“He has a potion that can feed you for a month at a time. He doesn't kill anyone I can promise
you of that. I can ask him to help you?” Remus questioned him.

******

Harry stared at Remus for a moment, the thought that he would never have to kill anyone else
pounding at his head. Then he was back in the moment he had taken the girls life. The warmth of her
blood flowing into his mouth, the sound of her heart beating in his head as he drank. The rush of
death sweeping her away. He had been in a different world at that time, he was one with the girl.
Could he really go without doing that again, without feeding from a live person.


*****************************

“Harry, are you awake?” Hermione's voice carried across the room.

Harry rolled over and blinked, the outline of Hermione was standing over him.

“What time is it?” he asked groggily.

“3pm, for the past week you have slept late. Why are you sleeping so much?”

Harry stared at his best friend. She really was beautiful when she was angry. He shook his head
against the thought and watched her tap her foot.

“I've just had a lot on my mind is all.”

Hermione seemed to believe him and left him alone for the rest of the day. Harry had spent a lot of
time with Remus during the week. His former professor had spoken to Severus Snape about making the
potion for Harry so he wouldn't have to drink human blood. The potions master reluctantly
agreed to help him.

Harry was ecstatic that it was the last day of summer before the term started, he couldn't wait
to get back to Hogwarts. The rest of his day was spent packing his clothes that in the course of
one week had spread throughout the entire house. Hermione had questioned him relentlessly if he had
finished his summer assignments. She really could be bossy sometimes but Harry found himself
thinking over and over how much he really appreciated her and would die if he ever lost her.

*********************

“Come on you lot or you will miss the train!!!!!!!!”

Harry heard Mrs. Weasley scream as he ran down the stairs. Harry muttered to himself quietly as he
hoisted his things into the ministry car cursing the fact that he had to be up at 7am just to get
to the train station. He didn't understand the point of having to leave so damn early.

The ride to the train station was a quiet one, Harry fell asleep leaning on Hermione's shoulder
before they even left the house. Soon enough he was pushing a large trolley through the barrier
between platforms 9 and 10.

The scarlet steam engine was sitting and waiting for the students to board when Harry crossed into
the platform. Students were everywhere saying goodbyes to their parents and loved ones. This was
always a time when Harry wished he had someone to say goodbye to.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Malfoy standing there with his bodyguards Crabbe and Goyle.
Malfoy spotted Harry and smirked at him before continuing his conversation with the two apes that
he called friends. Harry saw Ron and Hermione standing with Mrs. Weasley and Remus close by and he
made his way over to them.

“Now you be on your best behavior Ronald..” Mrs. Weasley scolded.

Ron's ears turned scarlet as he nodded to his mother.

“Oh and Ron before you go any farther tie your shoes, you will fall..”

“Ok mum..”

Harry laughed at his best friend quietly.

“Harry I want to say something before you go.” Remus told him. “Trust Professor Snape with the
potion, he may not seem the most friendly person out there but he will help you.”

Harry nodded and shook Remus' hand.

“Ron watch out.” Hermione yelled at him.

Before anyone could catch him Ron had fallen face forward and busted his lip on the concrete. He
had tripped over his shoe laces.

“Bloody Hell..” he muttered as he stood up.

Harry reached a hand out to help him. Ron grabbed his hand and stood up facing Harry, blood was
dripping from his bottom lip. Harry turned away from Ron to try and keep the blood away from his
vision but it was too late, he could feel his fangs growing.

Harry covered his mouth with his hand and walked away from Ron to try and calm down. His body was
heating up, the blood had affected him greatly. He wanted to taste the metallic fluid so much it
hurt but he had to control himself or someone would see him.
Taking a moment to straighten up, Harry walked back over to Ron where Mrs. Weasley was wiping the
blood away with a napkin. He could feel the urge again, if only he could just lick the blood away
he would be satisfied.

Someone was watching him, he could feel their eyes on the back of his neck. His fangs were growing
again and he couldn't control them. He turned around quickly and stood face to face with Draco
Malfoy.



************************************************************************************
Next post with 10 reviews!!! Thanks for the feedback from the first 2!

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4. Different
------------



Different

Draco woke up and felt the book that he had been looking at pressing against his face. He picked
it up and shut it with a sigh. He had not found anything to do with everlasting life but he still
had not given up.

Glancing over at the clock it was 8:15am and he soon noticed that all of his trucks were
packed.

“Oh shit,” he said out loud.

He ran over to his calendar and saw that it was indeed September 1st and was the
first day of school. He breathed a sigh of relief knowing that the house elves had already packed
his bags and he calmly put some of the books that he had been reading the night before in his
trunk.

Down stairs Draco noticed that neither of his parents were home but that didn't matter he
knew that a driver must have been arranged days before to pick him up. He took a seat in the living
room not bothering with breakfast and looked at the clock, 8:30. His driver should be coming soon
and he watched as the elves brought down his luggage.

**************************************

Draco arrived at the train station only a few minutes before the train was due to leave the
station. He went through the barrier and was looking around when he heard a familiar voice not far
from him shout out something.

He turned just in time to see Ron Weasley fall and land face first onto the ground. Draco let
out a laugh as he watched the git get to his feet. He could just make out Potter helping Weasley
up; he watched as Potter turned away and started to walk right toward him. Draco noticed that
Potter was covering his mouth and started to laugh again. Was Potter getting read to cry because
his precious Weasel got hurt?

Draco began walking towards Potter with the intension of making fun of both. He was right behind
Potter and was getting ready to shove him into Weasley when Potter turned around for a second time.
When he did Draco saw that he was covering his teeth again, but under neither his hands. Just below
where his hands were he could see something sticking out bit ignored it.

“Scar Head,” Draco said smirking.

“Malfoy,” Potter replied in a bitter tone.

“Ah, I see you are just as much of a git as ever.” Draco laughed.

“Shove off Malfoy,” Draco heard Weasley say walking over to stand beside Potter. His talking
came out muffled because of the cloth that he was holding over his lip.

“Oh like I am afraid of you Weasel. Who would be afraid of someone who trips over their own two
feet? How pathetic!” Draco said coldly.

“Shut up Malfoy. We haven't done anything to you…yet,” Potter replied.

He was very angry and quickly grabbed Potter around the neck and began to squeeze.

“Don't threaten me,” Draco said angrily.

He was about to punch Potter in the face when he felt someone hit his cheek. He bit down on the
side of his mouth causing it to bleed. He dropped Potter and felt his lip. It was also
bleeding.

He then turned to the side to see who his attacker had been and saw the mud-blood calmly rubbing
her hand which he guessed was the one she hit him with.

“Why you little bitch,” Draco said in rage.

He made his way toward her and was not sure what he was going to do when he was knocked to the
ground by Potter. He felt his face go into the ground and then a great weight, sit on top of
him.

Draco could not fight very well without a wand but either way he was in a reckless rage. He
turned onto his back and the first thing he saw was a fist coming straight at him, it hit his jaw
and he felt a surge of pain run through the left side of his face.

Naturally he started to fight back. He hit Potter in the ribs and in return got another blow to
the left side of his face. He could barley see out of that eye but could see enough to tell that he
was doing just as much damage to Potter as he was getting in return.

Draco then knocked of Potters glasses and made his nose bleed so bad that he started to
choke.

Draco watched as he stopped fighting for a moment to wipe the blood away from his mouth. Then to
Draco's surprise he began to lick it off of his fingers. When Potter noticed that Draco had
been watching him he nailed Draco in jaw yet again.

Draco was almost out of strength but managed to throw a rather weak punch at Potter's jaw.
To his surprise Potter just caught his hand in his mouth and bit down. Draco howled in pain and
ripped his hand away.

He was about ready to say something when he saw Weasley and Granger pulled Potter off of
him.

He did not know how long they had been fighting but Draco was out of breath and his face hurt
horribly. He had a headache that was becoming unbearable. There was then a whistle in the distance
and Draco slowly made his way towards the train.

************************************************

Draco was seated in one of the compartments that was at the far end and was currently icing his
eyes and jaw.

He could barely see out of his eyes but didn't bother opening them because he had a huge
headache. He was also hoping that he had done Potter some serious damage.

When he heard the compartment door open and then closed he looked up. There standing in the door
was Crabbe and Goyle. They were hitting each other and talking in a booming voice which made
Draco's head feel as if it were splitting in two.

“Shut up,” he yelled at the two.

They both we quiet and Draco laid his head back against the window.

Soon enough though he found himself getting up and leaving because the noise of Crabbe and
Goyle's grunts were getting ridiculous.

He left the compartment and went into one of the restrooms to wash off his face. When he looked
in the mirror and saw that both of his eyes were black and blue. It may have been just him but he
also thought that one place on his jaw looked like it had been smashed in just a little bit.

He turned on the water and began splashing it on his face. He then reached or a towel and that
is when he noticed the two bite marks on his right hand. The looked as if a spider had bitten him
in two different spots on his hand.

He studied his hands for a few minutes before giving up on how he had gotten it. He then calmly
made his way back to where Crabbe and Goyle were seated.

*******************************************

The feast had just ended and Draco was now making his way towards the entrance of the Great Hall
when Pansy came up beside him.

“Oh Draco,” she began. “What happened?”

“None of your business,” Draco said without even looking at her. There was no way he was going
to tell anyone what had happened between him and Potter.

“Well fine!” She huffed and walked away.

Draco was looking at his hand when he ran into some who was stopped just outside the Great Hall
doors.

He looked up and saw Granger.

“Watch where you are going, you mudblood!” Draco said to her. He was still pissed that she had
punched him in the face.

“What do you want Malfoy?” Potter asked coming up to stand beside Granger.

It was obvious to Draco that he had obviously not done a very good job at fighting because
Potter only had a one black eye and a fat lip.

“Was I talking to you Potter?” He asked with a sneer..

“No, thank Merlin.” he replied.

“Why you…” Draco lunged himself at Potter again.

Draco went to hit Potter but was stopped by someone ramming him off to the side.

He looked back and saw Ginny Weasley looking at him as if she was getting ready to attach. Draco
was lost of words and was also outnumbered because he just then noticed that Crabbe and Goyle had
left the Great Hall.

This was the first time that he had seen Ginny since last term. She had not changed much other
than her hair seemed to have gone from as straight as a board to take on more of a curly look. From
the looks of it she had also grown a lot stronger because she had been able to knock him to the
floor.

He didn't realize he had been staring at theWeasellette for song until he heard Weasley.
“Got a problem Malfoy?”

“No Weasel, do you?”

With that he turned and went down the corridor to the Slytherin dorms.

After he got into the boy's dormitory he sat down on his bed and examined his hand again. It
was now red with two black dots in the middle. He could not figure out how he had gotten it.

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5. Regret
---------



Chapter 5: Regret



“Harry!” Hermione squealed from the other side of the table. “Are you even listening to
professor Dumbledore?”

He nodded softly and slightly turned towards the old headmaster. He had been spending the entire
dinner staring at Malfoy across the great hall. Since that afternoon and he had first tasted his
blood, all he could think was that he wanted more.

He ate bits and pieces during dinner but only because Hermione made him. She had continually
watched him all evening and she unnerved him. How was he supposed to hide his distaste for food,
with her watching his every move?

Soon enough he was slowly making his way back to Gryffindor tower when he encountered Draco
Malfoy again. He wanted to pin him against the wall and drink him, dry right there but he
couldn't. It was a normal scuffle with none other than Ginny being the one to make him back
down.

He had begun to walk up the grand staircase when someone laid their hand on his shoulder. He
turned around slowly to the face of Severus Snape.

“Potter, I need a word with you. In my office now!” He whipped around with his cloak billowing
behind him. Harry bitterly followed.

The dungeons were as they had always been, dark, damp, and dreary. The jars of potions
ingredients glistened on the shelf behind Snape's desk. Harry sat down in the seat in front of
it.

“Potter, it has come to my attention that you are in need of a special potion. The Malignas
Cruentus, the blood potion.” He sneered slightly. “I will not lie to you and say that it is exactly
like blood but it will satisfy the hunger if brewed properly.”

“Sir, are you going to prepare this for me?”

*********

Harry smiled slightly on his way back to Gryffindor tower after his talk with Professor Snape.
He had already tasted the potion and decided that it really wasn't that nice. He had no idea
how he was suppose to survive without human blood.

*********

A month had passed since the semester began. The Malignas Cruentus potion had been sustaining
his hunger but not his thirst. Every time he saw Draco Malfoy he could feel his fangs begin to
grow. More than once Ron had asked him why he stared at the blond.

Late one night while Harry strolled around the castle he was grabbed from behind. He quickly
turned around with his fangs out only to see Anathiel.

“It's about time you came out here.” She said as she released her hold on him.

“How long have you been here?”

*****************************************

Hermione waited in the girls dormitory stairway, under Harry's invisibility cloak, for the
common room to empty. She was determined to figure out where he was going to every night.

She was worried about him, he didn't eat, he barely slept. He was pale and looked very sick.
She spent hours researching Harry's symptoms. They all added up to the same thing, he was
dangerously depressed.

Harry got up and left the common room and she followed closely behind. He has been pacing around
outside of the castle for a while when a girl stepped from the shadows and grabbed him.

*****************************************

“So, you have been here since the beginning of term but you wouldn't tell me?” Harry leaned
against the castle wall with his hands across his chest.

“Listen, I would have but that girl is always around. She's a real know it all, she would
have figured out.”

“She is my best friend, even if she knew I don't think she would care.”

Anathiel walked slowly over towards Harry and leaned up against him. Smiling seductively she
ground her hips against his, he groaned loudly.

****************************************

Hermione couldn't believe what she was seeing. This girl was practically screwing Harry, her
Harry, her best friend. Anathiel was a vampire, didn't he realize this?

*******

“You know Harry, this is the problem with making a vampire. You feel connected to them,” she
leaned in and kissed him on the neck before biting him and licking the blood from his neck. She
drew back slowly and licked her lips. “You taste good.”

“Oh God, please?” Harry moaned. He stood up and flipped her around so she was pinned against the
wall.

“Oh, I like it rough!” She licked her lips again.

“You have no idea what you have done,” he leaned his body against her and began grinding his,
hips into her. “You saved me from death. You made me like you.” He bit her neck and licked at the
blood. She shuddered underneath him.

“It's better this way, you can live forever.”

Harry backed away from her and laughed a maniacal laugh. “I want to die, I want to see my
parents and Sirius again.” He stepped up beside her and grabbed her arm and tossed her to the
ground. “This is the reason I hate you!” His fangs grew and he growled deeply. “You made me like
you!”

“I MADE YOU BECAUSE YOU WERE DYING!” Anathiel screamed as she jumped from the ground.

“MAYBE I WANTED TO DIE!”

“Fool, waste your life whining about everything happening to you and how no one understands
you!”

“You think you understand me? Do you think you know what I am going through?” Harry walked close
to where she was standing.

Anathiel smiled at him and laughed. “I know what you are going through. Before I was made, I was
a witch, I had a family that loved me. Voldemort killed them and left me to die, someone found me
and I became what I am now.”

“You have no idea what it is like, you knew your family!”

“Don't you think that would make it worse? The pain never dies, the never ending questions
of why I was left and they had to die, the endless nights.”

“Why did you do this to me?” Harry asked calmly, it seemed as if he had gotten out everything he
wanted to say to her.

“I did it, I did it because I was lonely and you were dying. I watched you for a week before
that night. You were dying inside long before you picked up the blade, I could feel it coming. When
I saw you there, bleeding, I made a choice, I was lonely.”

******************************

Hermione had never felt so many mixed emotions before in her life. She listened intently to the
conversation that Harry and Anathiel were having, some of the things that Harry was saying
surprised her. She didn't know that Harry was as depressed as he had been, that he had tried to
kill himself. What surprised her the most was to hear the confirmation that Harry was a vampire.
She wasn't taking it nearly as hard as one would imagine, after all he was still Harry.

That night as she lay in bed staring at the ceiling in her dormitory she couldn't help but
think about him and what he must be going through. She knew that Ron didn't know about this or
else she would have already found out. Should she let Harry know that she knew what was going on?
Would he want to know how she found out?

********************************

Harry walked slowly back up to the castle doors, he could still hear Anathiel raging somewhere
behind him. He had stopped listening to her after the first five minutes. He had smelled someone
different, it was a smell he was familiar with but he couldn't place what it was.

He reached the castle doors and slowly pushed them open as he checked for signs of a professor,
filch, or the blasted cat, Mrs. Norris. Assuming that the coast was clear he headed for the grand
staircase mumbling to himself the entire way.

“Bloody bitch, who does she think she is? I should have killed her just now, get her out-“

He could hear footsteps behind him as he climbed the stairs to the second floor, a shadow danced
around him. He turned around quickly only to be grabbed and shoved against the wall.

“Don't say a word Potter or I will tell everyone in the damn school what you are!” they held
their hand over his mouth and had their body pressed against his hard enough to keep him pinned to
the wall. Slowly he lowered his hand.

“What do you want Malfoy?” Harry sneered.

“I know what you are Potter, so don't play stupid with me. I want to make a deal with you..”
Malfoy slowly backed away from Harry giving the other boy room to breathe.

“Why should I make any kind of deal with you?”

“If you don't then the entire wizarding world will know what you are, not just the
school...”

“Exactly what am I ferret?”

Draco visibly growled at the stab of his past before continuing. He leaned in and whispered
softly in Harry's ear. “A vampire...”

Harry stared at the blond dumbfounded, how had he figured out what he was?

“It doesn't take a genius to follow the clues you left behind you Potter, the bite on my
hand, your look of longing every time you see me. You want more, admit it. You can just taste my
blood on the tip of your tongue.”

“Malfoy if you don't shut your damned mouth then I will kill you. Now what do you want?”
Harry growled.

Malfoy stepped slowly away from Harry, far enough away that he was able to lean over the railing
and stair down the couple floors below them.

“My father told me I was going to receive the dark mark when I am of age, that is only a few
months away.”

“Wonderful, Malfoy, should I kill you now or wait until I meet you in battle as a death-eater?”
Harry laughed.

“I'm not stupid Potter, I am not becoming a death-eater. Fathers side is losing and I
don't want to die...” He turned around and faced Harry with a serious expression on his face.
“That's where you come in, I want you to make me a vampire.”

Harry laughed loudly after he heard Malfoy. “Wait I thought I heard you say you wanted to be a
vampire? Are you losing it, do you not understand that you will be dead, undead if you become a
vampire?”

“I'm afraid of death Potter! If you don't make me a vampire then I will tell the daily
prophet tomorrow morning that you are a mindless blood sucking monster.” Draco smiled.

“You wouldn't!” Harry demanded.

“You think, do you really want to take that chance?”

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