The Year From Hell

Disclaimer: Ok, if it'll make all the Harry Potter people feel better, I'll do one of these. But I really think that they're pointless. I don't own anything that JKR, genius that she is, has made up. Emmy's mine though. So far, those are the only people I have. Oh, and Erica.

Summary: Well… There isn't much of one. I think that the title is sort of self-explanatory. Naturally, Lily and James do end up together. And this is a Lily/James fic. Ok, I think that covers it. Rated R.

-Chapter One: I Hate the Holidays-

-By Natali-

Lily Evans grabbed a glass of champagne as the guy carrying the tray passed by. “Happy New fucking Year, Lils,” she muttered to herself caustically, downing it all at once.

“You've got to cheer up,” Emmy said, joining her best friend with her own champagne in her hand. Lily took it, and downed that one too. “It's been three years, Lily.”

“So? I still hate it. And I've never liked the holidays. So pointless, and all you do is get fat on delicious desserts that you spend hours making,” she snarled. “Gosh, whoever invented Christmas and celebrating the new year anyway? As if anyone cares that it's a new year. Do you know how many things there are to celebrate?”

“Lily, don't start off on one of your rants again,” Emmy hissed. “For fuck sake, it's a party. Be happy, drink, get laid, and let it go.”

Lily's full lips drew down in a frown. “I don't want to get laid.”

“'Cause no one's as much of a sex god as James Potter.” It wasn't a question, but a statement. Emmy shook her head sympathetically. “Lily, you both agreed to—”

“Shut it, Emmy, please.” Lily looked around for another glass of champagne. “I'm going to get pissed up tonight, and I don't want to even remember tonight tomorrow morning.”

Emmy bit back a groan as she saw a commotion near the door of the house they were at. “You might not want to do that, Lils.”

“Why the bloody hell not?” Lily growled, closing her tapered fingers around the neck of her newly acquired glass triumphantly. “It's not like I care about a little liver disease.”

Tearing her eyes from the new arrivals, Emmy studied her friend. “You are the oddest depressed person I have ever met.”

Lily shrugged. “I passed depression two and a half years ago.”

“Whatever. Point is, I wouldn't be so quick to get drunk. Potter's here.”

“Ha, ha, very funny.”

“Dead serious.”

“Sirius's dead?”

“No. I mean I'm serious.”

“You forget that I'm halfway drunk already. You're not Sirius. And if you are, then I seriously drank too much.”

“Lily, you're being stupid on purpose.”

Lily smirked. “All right, well. On the bright side, at least he can't say I've let myself go and look like shit.” Lily surveyed her red dress. “I'm a bombshell who just happens to be slightly sad inside but hates to dwell on it.”

“If you're lucky, he'll even get a boner.”

“Fuck off, Emmy,” Lily rolled her eyes. “Oh, Merlin, he's coming straight this way, isn't he?” She downed another glass of champagne. “Maybe I'll even vomit on him.”

“Remind me why you two broke up again?” Emmy smiled politely, speaking out of the corner of her mouth.

“Different. Wanted different things.”

“You haven't told me that yet,” Emmy noted. “You said that you just didn't feel comfortable with each other. Thank God that alcohol always makes your lips loose. And after three years, too! Let me guess, he didn't want children or a wife or any of that committment?”

Lily graciously returned James's greeting nod. “No. Other way around.”

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“Hey, Linda,” Remus smiled, kissing the cheek of the hostess of the party. “Here's James. Is that girl here yet?”

“Erica will be here later, and she's so excited to meet him,” Linda replied, taking their coats. She gave Sirius a special smile, winking as she shook his hand. “So glad that the notorious heartbreakers of Franklin Street could join my smallish party.”

James looked around. Not really a small party, or a small house. There was a ballroom for heaven's sake. He guessed that there were about one hundred and fifty persons in that room, probably more already shagging in the garden out back. New Years parties were always so predictable and almost always resulted in someone getting pregnant.

His eyes came to rest against a bored-looking redhead and her blonde-haired best mate.

“Oh, fuck. Sirius, Remus. Look who's here,” James sighed, nodding his head in their direction. Why him? And why now?

“Who? Lila and Emmy? Do you know them?” Linda asked, messing up Lily's name. “I work with Emmy. Lila seems a bit of a bitch though. And she's drinking all my champagne. I hadn't originally invited her, but Emmy wouldn't have come otherwise.”

“We… have been acquainted,” Remus replied when she seemed to wait for a comment. “Go over there, James. Say hi and all that shit.”

“Spare me,” James snorted. “Do you have any hard liquor, Linda? Or arsenic? I'll take whatever poison you have.”

Linda laughed it off as a joke. “Go mingle. Should I call Emmy over?”

“No!” James said quickly. She'd think he was coming here purposely to see her. “I'll… do it myself.”

“You'd better go,” Sirius said, lightly nudging James forward. “You can't avoid her. Besides, you'd look immature and she'd probably think that you were ignoring her, which you would be, and that you didn't want to see her. But we all know that you do. Very much really.”

“Go up to her before she comes up to you,” Remus suggested, sipping a cup of vodka Linda had handed him. “You'll look better. And you know that she'll come up to you if you don't. Lily always had balls. You broke up because…?”

“And if she doesn't come, then Emmy will,” Sirius chortled. “Damn, they both look good, don't they?”

Remus made a slight humming sound in the back of his throat. “No kidding. Could those dresses get any tighter?”

“Yes, they could,” James glared. “You two so-called friends aren't helping matters any. Well, let's get this hell over with. If we find a nice drink along the way, grab me five.” That said, they headed for the two girls, who were apparently discussing them, if the glances were any indication.

Along the way, Remus and Sirius had gotten caught up in the crowd, so James reached them first. He would have liked to have waited for his back up, but that would've made it seem as if he was afraid to go on by himself (not that he wasn't afraid, but they didn't need to know that). As he reached them, he inclined his head in greeting. “Hello.”

“Hello,” they chorused.

“Such a pleasure to see you,” Lily said, smiling so naturally that he wondered if she was so over him that she barely remembered his name. He wouldn't want that. Yeah, he was over her, but there was still something there. Sort of. To put it plainly, he was too much of a pompous ass to not want her to remember him.

He was about to reply when he felt Sirius brush past and say, “Hello, my gorgeous ones.” He walked up to Emmy, kissed her cheek and let his eyes roam over her golden dress. “You look so good, Ems,” he growled. Next he turned to Lily and stretched out his arms. She smiled and stepped right into them, giving him a kiss on his cheek as James watched Sirius's hands slide to her bare back.

James saw green.

Next, Emmy spotted Remus. “Remus, my love, are you shy or something? Come say hi.”

He obliged, grinning as she brushed her lips on his nose, a hand running down his jaw. “You look even better up close than you do far away,” her mumbled into her ear.

They released each other, and Lily went to Remus, kissing his cheek too. James felt his fists clench. Why were they being so chummy with her? She'd been his girlfriend, and they'd never touched her like that before, three years back.

Finally they'd all said hello—bar James, of course. And, of course, Lily just had to fix that.

“James, I don't bite,” she smiled, holding out her hand. He took it and awkwardly hugged her. Damn, she felt good. “Not hard, anyway,” she whispered into his ear, just for him. A million visions flew into his mind. No, not hard at all.

“Where have you three disappeared to?” Emmy asked.

“Work,” Sirius replied for all of them. “In Venice.”

“Sounds fun.”

“Was,” Remus said. “Until we were called back here. I have to say, I'm glad. I can't understand more than two words in Italian.” They all laughed uncomfortably.

There was a short silence (well, between them. It was actually rather loud in the room).

“Hey, there's ten seconds `til midnight!” someone called out over a microphone.

As everyone began the countdown, Lily held James's gaze. Blimey, but he looked good! He had only gotten even better in the three or so years she hadn't seen him. Sexy bastard.

“Three…”

That first year had been hell, fending off other dates and trying to keep happy. It wasn't exactly depression, but not exactly not either.

“Two…”

The second was better. Not as hard, but still rather dull since they'd both sort of sworn off dating for awhile. After all, who needs all that pressure? A very boring year.

“One…”

It was still very boring. Too boring.

“ZERO!” There was a great noise suddenly.

It was boring, but not sufficiently so for them to ever even think about getting back together. At least, not with each other. Maybe in their head. But not in any other way.

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“How is it,” Emmy said from her bed the next morning, “that you never seem to get hangovers?” She groaned in misery.

Lily shrugged. “I guess I'm unlucky. I brought you something for it from my house. You left it there last time.”

She handed Emmy the bright green liquid, which she drank as quickly as she could. “I was wondering where it'd gotten to,” Emmy remarked, instantly feeling better. “Did you have fun last night?”

Lily didn't answer right away. “It was different.”

“Obviously. But did you have fun?”

“I just drank and had to let down some fifty-year-old who thought he was the shit. Did you?”

“I would have enjoyed myself more if you had.”

“I didn't have a bad time.”

“But neither did you have a good one.” Emmy sighed, burrowing close to Lily as she got into bed. “Lily, why do you keep doing this?”

“I'm bored.”

“Of what? Me? Life? The men in Britain?” she asked somewhat hysterically. “You've been hung up on this guy for—”

“I'm not hung up.”

“But you can't seem to find anyone else satisfactory,” Emmy retorted. “The longest relationship you've had since him has been two days long.”

“Look, it's not that I want him back or that I'm still crying over him. Damn it, Ems, the decision to break up was mutual. That means we both thought it was for the best. We both agreed!” Lily snapped. “I just don't want to get involved with anyone else. Too much hassle.”

Emmy was quiet for a moment before saying what she should have years ago. “You don't want to get involved with anyone else because you know that all the good guys are looking for wives and kids and for someone to love and love them back. You're not bored, you're boring.”

Lily didn't respond to that, and it made Emmy only more annoyed.

“What happened to the Lily I knew?” she carried on, sitting up in her bed now. “What happened to lively, satisfied-with-life, take the bull by the horns, never let anyone take advantage of her Lily? The one who actually cared about herself?”

Lily got up from the bed, saying, “She isn't here anymore.” She'd walked out into the hallway, but Emmy still felt she should say what she said.

“No, she can't accept that she does want the things she thought she didn't, and now the only person she could ever imagine helping her to accomplish those things is probably out of her life forever!”

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Practice Room James read on the sign, opening the door. He'd finally located a wizard gym in London after being back for two weeks. He'd probably be sore tonight. But being pretty has its price. Everything was going great until he noticed someone in there as well.

The person inside wasn't who he was expecting at all. It was so out of character for her.

Lily Evans—damn, of all the places—was beating up some dummy in her tight work out pants and matching blue tank top. She was sweaty, her hair was coming out of its ponytail, she was red in the face, she didn't have make up on, and looked beautiful.

“You little fuckers,” she growled when the dummy finally ran away, whimpering. “Where's the next little shit?”

“Slow down there,” James said, putting down his back. “What is it exactly that you do, Lily?”

Her eyes got wide for a moment, before she regained composure. “I'm a receptionist at St. Mungo's.”

“And do you regularly beat up people there, or is this just for fun?” James smiled, pulling off his shirt. Lily's eyes lingered on his sculpted abs, the planes of his chest reminding her of what she couldn't have.

“It's something to do when I'm so fucking bored I've even counted the tiles in my flat. Which happens pretty bloody often. I hate being bored, it's such a pain in the arse. Happy New Year again.”

“Same,” he muttered, watching her out of the corner of his eye. She seemed to be waiting for something. But what, he didn't know.

A dummy jumped out at her suddenly. With one quick yell, she punched it in the jaw, sending it to the floor in a split second.

With raised eyebrow, he continued to watch as she got her bag and left without even a goodbye.

“I think she resents me,” he chuckled. “Or maybe my missing shirt.” A dummy came at him, and he felled it with one swift kick to its gonads. “You are little fuckers, trying to sneak up on a person like that.”

Which also made him realize something. Had Lily always sworn like that, or was this a new addition to his angel's personality?

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Lily opened the door to Emmy's office, throwing her gym bag onto the floor haphazardly. “I saw him again.”

Emmy looked at her over her professional looking glasses. “Who?”

“James. I saw him at the gym. My gym, I might add,” Lily scowled. “What the hell was he doing at my gym?”

“It isn't yours, Lils.”

“I was there first!”

“I thought you were over him?” Emmy asked coolly.

“Piss off, Ems. You know what I mean.”

“Yes, I know that you mean that it annoys you to have to see him because you know you want him.”

“No, I mean it annoys me that I have to see him because I don't want to see him!”

“Because you want him.”

“I do not.”

“Do too.”

“Do not!”

“You do, I just know it,” Emmy stated, as if that settled the matter. “When I took you to your flat last night and you were asleep, you said his name.”

“Of course I did. I'd just seen him for the first time in three years. How can you expect me to not dream about it?” Lily snapped.

“You said his name… with a certain umph, if you catch my meaning.”

“I'm afraid that I don't.”

“You sounded as if he was giving you the best sex you've ever had,” Emmy snickered. “You were groaning, and—”

Lily made a frustrated noise. “You, Ems, are impossible!” She disapparated back to work, hoping to get rid of the heat that had infused her.

The only reason that she felt so messed up was because he'd surprised her by showing up there today. That was all.

At least, that's what she kept telling herself.

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-A/N: This had started out as a one shot. So much for that. Read and review, let me know if you like it.

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-Chapter Two: I Need A Drink, Fast-

-By Natali-

“Oh, you mother fucking little shit straight from my asshole!” Lily swore, punching the stubborn dummy for the final time. “Take that, you damned wanker!” She kicked its side. “And one for good bloody measure. Rot in hell!” she said, kicking off its head. “Oops, sorry, Robert. Come up, sweetie.”

The blue dummy got up and shook Lily's outstretched hand.

“So sorry I knocked off your head like that, but you were being a regular bugger today,” she smiled, drinking some water. “I suggest you go up to the main office and get that fixed.” The dummy nodded and walked away.

“Did you always curse that much when we dating?”

Lily was so surprised to hear him that she spilled water all over herself. “No, recent, I suppose. But he was being a pain.” She took up her gym bag. “Really must fly, I'll see you around.”

“Do you always leave whenever I enter a room?” James asked, grinning.

“It's a gift, I suppose.” She headed for the door. “I suggest you stay off Robert today. I whacked off his head and he might not be feeling up to things.”

He nodded. “Lily, want to talk?”

“Not necessarily,” she grimaced. “Sorry, nothing personal.”

“You never did like talking about things. Took me a year to figure out that we weren't heading in the same direction,” James muttered, just as she put her hand on the door knob.

“You idiot, I talk about things, it had just never come up in conversation,” Lily defended herself, all thoughts of leaving gone now. “And this is my gym!”

He smiled. “You were always possessive too.”

“Do not talk about me like you know every damn thing about me, James,” she fumed, slamming down her gym bag. “Gosh, I haven't even seen you in three years! Who's to say that I haven't changed? You noticed yourself that I swear more. Good bye.”

Convinced that she was going to leave, and maybe even find a new gym, Lily turned the handle.

“Who's to say that it's not for the better?”

“Shove it, James. I still don't want a husband or kids.”

“Don't believe you,” he said softly. “But ok.”

“Ok,” she repeated, leaving for real this time.

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(-A Month Later…-)

“I need a bloody drink,” Lily muttered, rubbing her temples. “Whoever decided that opera was singing must be nuts. Completely whacked. Crazy.”

“Talking to yourself now, Lily?”

She looked up and frowned. “Oh, hello, James. No, just complaining about the singing. Emmy dragged me along. She's somewhere inside, `enjoying' that dreadful music. Are you stalking me, or something?”

He smiled handsomely, making her melt just a little bit. In truth, she'd forgotten all about him this past month.

“No, actually, I'm—”

“James!” cried out a curly red-haired woman in a black strapless dress. “My love, it's still going on you know.”

Lily's stomach plummeted as the bitch walked straight up to him and kissed him soundly on the lips.

“This, Lily, is my new girlfriend, Erica. Erica, this is a friend from school, Lily,” James said, his arm around the woman's waist. “Well, we should go back in. I'll see you around, Lily. I noticed you weren't coming to the gym anymore.”

“I go in the mornings, before work now,” she replied absently.

He nodded, letting Erica fall a bit ahead. “I'll see you then. By the way, Robert says hi.”

She smiled, but only after he'd walked out of sight. Shaking her head, she mentally berated herself.

Oh, Lily. How could you do this to yourself? …Again.

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“Oh, James,” Lily groaned, writhing in her bed. “Oh, my… Do that with your hands again. No, to the right… Right there.” She moaned, louder this time, turning so much that she fell off the bed with a thump, certain to leave a bruise on her left thigh.

“Ouch!” she hissed, waking up instantly. She felt instantly like crying. She, Lily Evans, was having an erotic dream about her ex, James Potter.

And not feeling one damn bit remorseful about it.

“My gosh,” she sighed, rubbing her neck. “Sad part is that he's even better in real life.”

And he has a girlfriend who he's probably blessing with that delightful treatment right now, she reminded herself. A pretty girlfriend who looked nearly exactly like her. Sort of.

“I just had to wake up, right?” she sighed, looking at her clock. “Seven in the morning already? Glad I don't have any work to do. Mandy, come here!” she called to her owl. “You have to go tell Emmy to meet me at the gym.”

Twenty minutes later, she was already pounding on Robert, who was feeling much better, but was feeling the stress of Lily Evans on his foam body parts.

“Ah, I see you've appeared again.”

“Yes, I'm back,” Lily replied, punching Robert in the jaw. “I'm sure that you're thrilled. What on earth are you doing up at this hour?”

“Same as you,” James replied, picking up a towel. “I just came here to get my towel. I left it here earlier. I'm here with Erica.”

Lily hid her scowl. “Tell her hi for me then.” After a quick pause, she felt compelled to say, “She's pretty. Been dating for long?”

He paused near the door. “About less than a month or so. We met at the New Years party.”

Lily's lips formed a small O as two dummies attacked her at the same time. “If you don't mind me saying, she's kind of… Well, kind of like me, isn't she? Red hair that curls in the most annoying fashion if not done properly, green eyes…”

“If I can't have the real thing, I've got to find the next best,” he said simply, trying to hide a grin as Robert punched her in the stomach. “You ok?” he snickered.

“Fine,” she gasped. “Just dandy.” Doubled over, she soaked in the information. “If I can't have the real thing, I've got to find the next best.” What was she supposed to make of that?

So engrossed was she in her train of thought that she didn't realize that James had crept behind her. He put either hand on either side of her waist, lightly massaging it. She let out a squeal.

“You know, I had a dream of you last night,” he told her in a husky voice.

“Did you?” she asked lamely. Where were her wits?

“I did,” he affirmed. “In it, you wanted me as your husband and you wanted to bear my children. In it, we were happy, in love, and had a wild sex life. My sex life hasn't been so good in the past few years. Yours?”

“Get off me, please,” she whispered, standing up. “This isn't one bit fair, to me or to you.”

“I just… If I had known that night, three years ago, that that was the last time I'd ever make love to you,” he whispered in her ear, sending shivers down her spine, “I would've done much better. Maybe then…”

“James,” she warned. “We're not together. And it's three years later. If your sex life's suffered, that's your fault. As if millions of women wouldn't love to shag you.”

He sighed heavily. “I've missed you.”

“You got over me, if Erica is apparent,” she insisted coldly, as his lips brushed her shoulder. “James, I'm sweaty. Get off me, please.”

He turned her around slowly, his hand massaging her cheek softly. Against her own will, she pushed her face into his hand, nuzzling him back. No one made her feel like he did.

Which was terrible, of course. But it felt so good.

“Lily… why can't we—” He broke off abruptly, dropping his hand as Erica came in. “Hello, sweetheart.”

“Hey. Oh, hello, Lily!” she said, too perky for Lily's own taste. Who smiled that much anway?

“Hello,” Lily responded, then to James under her breath, “We can't meet anymore. Ever.” She broke off as Erica joined them.

“My, Lily, you sweat like a pig, don't you?” Erica laughed.

“Thank you,” Lily bit out, glaring at her replacement, who apparently didn't sweat at all. “Well, I need to go now. I'm meeting up with a friend for coffee and then there's an art exhibit that's opened at the east end. I hope you two have a happy lifetime. You seem to be perfect for each other.” She walked away, loathing the girlish giggle that Erica gave.

That was the “next best” thing to her? What did that say about her?

“Thank you, Lily. I hope that you find someone as wonderful as Jamie is,” Erica cooed. “Come, we need to go and meet up with Mummy.”

Disgusted, Lily disapparated to Emmy's flat, near regurgitation.

“Emmy, you will not believe what James—Ah.” Lily stopped dead in her tracks, her eyes glued to the scene on the bed: Emmy and Remus tangled in the bed covers.

“I-I sent you an owl, that I couldn't go. I guess you didn't get it,” Emmy said nervously. “You two've met, right?”

Lily giggled, for the first time in a few months. “Well… Just… Use protection, and let's try to prevent this from happening again.” She winked and went to disapparate, but added, “By the by, nice position, you two. Looks positively kinky.”

“Lily!”

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James tip toed into Lily's room, pulling off his shirt as he went. Lily lay across her bed, as if she'd expected him to come.

“I've missed you,” she whispered, tugging him onto the bed. “A lot.”

“Lily, tell me you love me,” he whispered against her lips. “Tell me that you'll marry me, and that you'll have kids with me, Lily. Please, that's all I ask.”

“I love you,” she said, softly crying. “I love you so much. Are you asking me to marry you? Because if you are… the answer is yes. Please, James. I've been so afraid for so long.”

He kissed her, plunging his tongue into her warm mouth, exploring its crevices with a hunger he'd never known before.

“This time, I'm not letting you go. Ever,” he promised, slipping off her lacy underwear to reveal the treasure beneath.

As they began to make love, throwing themselves completely into the task, tears of joy fell down their faces, glad to be whole again.

Happy again.

In love again.

A loud, rude snore woke James up from his pleasurable dream. He sat up, distressed at his dream, looking at the sleeping Erica.

He'd just had the worst sex ever with her. It was disgusting.

His bloody dream had been better, he noted with a grimace. She'd been so cold and had even faked an orgasm.

Maybe I'd be a little nicer if you'd pretend to at least enjoy yourself, he thought bitterly. Really, as if it's such hell.

He swung his legs over the side of her bed, and apparated to his house.

“That was the crappiest shag I've ever had!” he exclaimed, climbing the stairs to his room. “Good Lord, as if it's so hard to just lie there…”

“Didn't enjoy yourself, mate?” Sirius asked, popping his head out of his door. “I could hear you complaining from downstairs. Anyway, point is, I think Remus is shagging someone.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Because he told me he was shagging someone.”

“Ah, that'd do it. But who?”

Sirius shrugged. “Not a clue. Well, I'm heading back to sleep, we'll interrogate our lovely shagger tomorrow morning. As for you, dump that bitch, because she's always calling on you. And it's rather annoying, if it must be known.”

James shook his head. “She's terrible in bed. I never thought I'd see the day when I would never want to shag a girl ever again. And I mean that. Never.”

“Too bad, too,” Sirius sighed, closing the door. “She was hot.”

James shook his head, continuing down the hall. When he reached his door, he was surprised to find it already open. Cautiously and with his wand out, he went in, only to find that he didn't need it. But he might need a psychologist.

There, sitting on his bed and inhaling hard liquor in pink pajamas, was Lily.

“Hello,” she smiled drunkenly. “You've been forever, you know. You cannot imagine how much alcohol I've consumed in the past two hours. So much that maybe I'll even have my first hangover tomorrow morning!” She gave a high pitched laugh.

“I think that you've had enough,” James said, gently taking the bottle of rum from her hands. “I'll take you back to your flat, Lily.”

But she ignored him. “Do you know that I've just accepted a date with a man that I met today at the art exhibit? After, of course, Emmy and Remus disengaged themselves from their kinky position in which I found them this morning after the gym.”

“What?” James sputtered. “Emmy is the girl Remus shagged?”

“As I was saying, I'm really serious about this,” Lily sighed. “I know I won't love him, but Emmy says that he's a lovely guy. She knew him because they used to live on the same street. He's a muggle, damn it, but he knows about the wizarding world because his mum is a witch.”

“That's… interesting, Lily. You sure you don't want to go home?” James asked, trying to ignore the jealously welling up in him. There's a guy now?

“Yes, I'm sure. I came here for a reason, you know. But back to my story,” she slurred. Taking a deep breath, she seem to orient herself. “I'm going to marry this one, if he wants to. I'm ready, I've decided. I'm tired of coming home to an empty flat. I want a home, with someone who will take care of me, even if he doesn't love me.”

I would love you, James felt like telling her. I would love you and take care of you. But instead, he only nodded, fists clenching.

“So yeah. You mentioned something earlier that if you had known that we were going to break up that night so long ago, you would've enjoyed it more. Or something to that effect at the least. I'm somewhat tipsy, and can't seem to even remember getting here,” she giggled. “So, I'm here, to let you enjoy. I'm not so drunk that you should feel bad about sleeping with me, but neither am I sober enough to know that it's wrong because you have a girlfriend.” She gave him a sloppy grin. “So what do you say, James? You in?”

This isn't how you want her. And yet, you're still willing to take what you can get, you disgusting slime ball, a voice inside his head said. Go ahead, take advantage of a girl who probably will regret her decision in the morning.

But that, he snapped at himself, is her problem. I, for one, will not regret one moment of this. She said to enjoy it, so enjoy it I will.

He made to kiss her, but she averted her head.

“What's the matter?” he asked.

“Don't kiss me, please,” she whispered, taking his chin in her hand. “Don't.”

If the request seemed odd to him, he didn't let it show. “Alright. I won't.” He pushed her gently onto her back, kissing her shoulders.

She sighed happily as he slipped his hands under her girlish sleeping attire.

“I'd like to apologize for this disgusting confection,” she gasped as his fingers reached her breasts. “It was all I had.”

“On the bright side, you won't be wearing it for long,” he chuckled. “And I think you should throw it out. It looks like something my grandmother used to wear.”

They shared a laugh, and Lily seemed to sober up a bit.

Many minutes later, just as the waves of pleasure finished washing through them, James broke his promise to her.

His lips found hers and she kissed him back, without reserve. And it felt so good.

“Why are you crying?” he asked, with some effort.

With a racking sob, she said, “I'm always going to love you. I'm so sorry.”

He made to tell her right back that that was how he felt too. They could stay together, get married, do everything he'd always dreamed about.

But fatigue overcame him, and after all…

He could always tell her in the morning.

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-A/N: You cannot believe how pleasantly surprised I was to find that so many people liked this story, even though it was at fanfiction.net. Goes to show, when you review a lot, I'm motivated to write. Anywho, thank you very much for reading and reviewing, and I hope that you all continue to do so.

Also, I didn't expect this chapter to happen, but for lack of anything better to do… Amie, you requested, and so I gave.

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERY ONE!

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-This is dedicated to my Rosie. Always, love. Always.-

-Chapter Three: I've Decided That I Love Him-

-By Natali-

“It was a dream,” Lily said out loud, preparing herself a cup of coffee the next afternoon. She'd overslept. “Fucking awesome dream,” she laughed, upset that she didn't have a hangover. She'd always wondered what it felt like.

“Thank God it wasn't real,” she continued, sitting down at her table. “I can't believe it. I've decided that I love him. Bloody hilarious. No, it's great that it was just a dream.”

It would be so terrible if it had been real, because that meant that he thought they could get together.

And why couldn't you? asked an annoying voice in her head. You swear that there's some sort of thing in your way, and—

The voice was cut off by Lily herself interrupting it.

Oh, shut up, shut up! You know that I'm going to go over there right now, so why the unwanted lecture? Just let me collect my thoughts and actually remember what happened last night!

Fine, the voice replied caustically.

“Now, what happened?” Lily asked herself, pacing the kitchen. “Did it even happen?”

Yes, something inside her answered. She could feel that she'd been with him.

“Alright, so that's solved. So what next?”

How about trying to see how you got here?

“Ah, just my luck!” Lily squealed like a little girl, eyes lighting on an envelope. She ripped it open, and a ring fell into her hand.

The ring she'd rejected so long ago. Something told her that she wasn't going to like what she read, but she read it anyway:

I figured you should have this, since I have no use for it. Last night was… great, needless to say, and thank you for letting me enjoy it again. I'll remember that. I wish you all the happiness with that new guy, and I hope you won't mind if I hope he rots in hell. -J

“It's ok,” she told herself. “Just go over there and tell him how much you love him! …After you figured out what happened last night. Now, why are you here and not over there?”

You came over in the middle of the night because the two of you decided it would be fun to take a bubble bath, and James had lacked the necessary ingredients.

And why did he leave?

With a feeling that felt oddly like nausea, Lily realized: Because he can't stand to see you anymore. Because you told him that you were going to marry that guy you'd met. You'd basically told him he wasn't good enough.

But he is! Lily told herself. He is worth it, and oh, Lils, you've really done yourself in this time.

“But,” she smiled wickedly, sipping her coffee. “I'm going to prove it to him in a simply wicked way. So now the question is, white lacy lingerie, or red lacy lingerie? Or, even better, no lacy lingerie or anything at all?”

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“James!” Lily called out, having apparated to his house. “James, I—holy fuck, hello there, Erica.” Lily gulped as she watched the idiot girl rummage through James's cabinets.

“Hello, Lily! Just give me a moment, I'm looking for a tea cup.”

“Two cabinets to your left,” Lily said automatically. “Third shelf. Get the white ones. James is connected to the blue ones. They were his mum's.”

Erica glared, but covered it up immediately. “Why, thanks. You must still remember from your friendship with James.”

No, I remember because A) I screwed James for a whole year, many times here and B) I was here last night, getting a coffee cup.

“Exactly,” Lily replied coolly. “Is James here?”

“Poor dear was so tired from last night,” Erica giggled. “But I don't suppose you need to know about that.”

I know that he didn't shag her before he shagged me! Lily thought. But then she caught herself. She had been the one to come to him. Not the other way around.

“Could I speak to him?” Lily asked dryly. “It's rather important.”

“He's asleep.”

“I'll wait.”

They stared at each other, both with an intense hatred. Then Sirius entered the room.

“Bloody hell, it's as cold as the Arctic in here. What's the matter with you two?” he asked. “And what are you doing here, Lils? You too, for that matter, Erica. Must say I'm surprised.”

“I needed to talk to James,” Lily answered.

“James called me over,” Erica said at the same time. They glared again. “You could just leave, Lily,” Erica said sweetly. “I'm sure Jamie will get to you eventually.”

“He hates being called Jamie.”

“Not when I do it,” Erica shot back.

“Funny,” Lily laughed, “here I was thinking that you actually had class. But really, all you truly are is an imitation of me with a bitchy twist.”

“Funny,” Erica mimicked, “I thought you were the bitchy twist. You can get out of the house now.”

“This isn't your house,” Sirius reminded her. He didn't really hate Erica, but she didn't have the right to kick someone out, especially someone with as much history with the Marauders as Lily.

“Not yet,” Erica said in a sweet tone. “But soon. And you won't have to worry about it, Sirius. You'll be the first thing I dump in the garbage. You're too old to be living off your best friend.”

Sirius growled, but Lily managed to speak up before he did.

“And what makes you so sure of that?” Lily snapped, stepping closer. “Does he know just how annoying you are? By the way, purple really isn't your color.” Lily gave her a glance-over. “For that matter, neither is black.”

But it didn't affect Erica in the slightest. She only held up her left hand. And for a moment, it took both Liy and Sirius a minute to digest what it was that she was flaunting.

An engagement ring.

There was dead silence in the room, and Lily felt sick to her stomach. How was she supposed to interpret that? Didn't he… After only a month… How could…? There were so many questions and not one single answer.

Lily gulped, trying to fight back her tears. “It's nice, but small. I'm surprised that James would get something so utterly… well, for lack of a better word, boring. That stone is so tiny that I'm surprised I could even identify it. And, well, the metal he chose. Gold, of all things. So un-James-like, really.”

“Shut up. Really, what would you know?” the evil bitch hissed.

“A lot more than you think,” Sirius muttered. “If you'll excuse me, I have no wish to witness a murder, thank you. Good day, Lily.”

“Well? What do you know then?”

“I know that the first time he proposed was with a platinum band with three huge diamonds and two emeralds at either end,” Lily replied smoothly. “I also know, because I have experience in these things, that that ring must've cost less than my old professor's hair piece!”

Erica gasped. “How dare you? As if you know anything.”

Lily gathered up her purse, which she'd put down and walked straight up to her newest enemy, just three inches from her face. Slowly, almost as if to prolong her amusement, she held up her left hand, just as Erica had done only minutes before.

“I know a lot of things,” Lily smiled, savoring the enraged look on Erica's overly made up face before disappearing back to her flat.

“James, you had better get down here this very instant!” Erica shrieked, heading for her fiancé's bedroom. “And be ready to explain this utter insanity!”

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“Lily, don't give up,” Emmy said encouragingly. “He's… mad, I suppose. I'm not sure. But don't give up. You're nuts. One time, shame on him, twice, shame on you. Double shame on you if twice, because it was your fault first time too.”

Lily twirled a single curl of her hair, staring at herself in the mirror. “Yes, I know. I won't.”

“So what are you waiting for?”

“Revenge.”

“Don't be stupid, Lily. Your revenge is getting him back. So go do that this instant,” Emmy said stubbornly. “I won't stop bugging you until you do. You're finally… the old Lily, and I couldn't be happier for you. So go!”

But Lily shook her head. “Not revenge on Erica. Revenge on myself. For being so bloody stupid the first time.”

Emmy glared. “You're being `so bloody stupid' the second time too.” With a frustrated sound, she gathered up the dress she'd lent to Lily for the opera a few days ago, and turned back to her. “I hope you know what the hell you're doing, mate. Hope it doesn't backfire.”

“It won't. Just hope that they don't elope sometime without me knowing it.”

“You'd only help him cheat,” Emmy smiled, kissing her cheek. “Since when do you care for the institution of marriage? That Charlie chap you went out with once was married, wasn't he?”

“Very married. Happily, too,” Lily smiled. “Good shag, too. Even if he was a little too old for my taste. He was well winded five minutes into it. Must say, did keep trying though.”

“You evil arse,” Emmy laughed, looking at her, friendly love etched on her face. “Only you, Lils. I'm glad that you're back to normal.”

“I've never been normal, Ems. Maybe normal for me?” Lily offered, a slight smile tugging at her lips. “Are we still going to that house party tonight?”

“Very much so, and I've got a guy I want you to meet,” Emmy answered crisply. “So look gorgeous, if you will.”

“I always do. And what about that guy from the art exhibit?”

“Ah, took care of him. I did some research on him at work—”

Lily broke out laughing. “You make it sound like you launched some sort of investigation.”

“Not nearly. I wouldn't waste my energy,” Emmy winked. “Just looked up his name on my employer's program—you know, that odd barrister thing he's got—and turns out that he's been divorced twice and has three kids. Doesn't pay alimony. I dumped him on your behalf.”

“So good of you. But damn, where'd he find the time? He couldn't have been more than 29 or so.”

“First marriage straight out of a muggle high school. Lasted two year, two kids from that. Second three years ago, lasted one week. Apparently wasn't paradise. Then he had an affair with another married woman about a year ago, kid from that.”

“I'm not exactly sure that's legal, Ems.”

“Yes, but when have I followed the laws?”

“I thought you were interning to be a barrister? You're supposed to be a defender of the law.”

“No, sweetheart,” Emmy called, going to the door. She'd come in her car. “Not at all. Actually, we're really very low blood-sucking, money-hungry bottom feeders! `Til tonight, and remember: wear that slutty red dress you've got. Later!”

Lily laughed, shaking her head. How screwed up her life was.

“Prep yourself for a long year,” Lily sighed, heading for the shower. “Your revenge on yourself has just started.”

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“Lily, this is Brent Williams. Brent, this is Lily Evans, my best mate,” Emmy introduced. “Excuse me a moment. I have to use the loo.”

Lily gave herself a mental note to murder her “best mate” later.

“So, what do you do Lily?” Brent asked.

Lily looked at him. He was tall, broad-shouldered with light brown hair. Around twenty five, if her guess was right. Very handsome, in a Clark Kent sort of way. Very professional.

“Receptionist at St. Mungo's.” Liar, Lily teased herself, raising her tequila shot to her lips and downing it. You dirty little liar. She gave an inward giggle. “You?”

“Accountant at my father's business. I'll inherit someday,” replied Superman.

I rather like that name, Lily thought to herself. I'll call him Superman in my head. Oh my, really am drunk aren't I?

“How lovely,” Lily nodded, searching for Emmy's head. She would kill her. “What do you do for fun?”

“Ride horses,” Superman said.

Likes to watch porno where women ride the men, Lily amended in her head.

“Anything else?”

“Cook—”

Get cooked for.

“—watch pigskin football—”

Watch yet more porno, where guys smack each other's arses.

“—and spend time with my dog.”

“Pick up women with dog,” Lily said aloud accidently.

“Pardon?”

“Nothing!” she said quickly. “If… you will excuse me, I'm afraid that I don't feel right up to par.” She nodded her goodbye. “Pleasure to meet you.”

Lily walked away anxiously, before Superman could detain her.

“Kitchen baskets, Emmy, I'll cut your head off for leaving me with that bore bag,” Lily threatened into the blonde's ear.

Emmy laughed. “Shitfaced already?”

“Damn right.”

“Didn't like Brent?”

“Superman was too boring. Someone more lively, if you will, Ems. No one that's looking for long-term commitment. I am going to be a married woman soon.” Lily looked around for a waiter. “Dash it all, can't a person find a good drink around here?”

Emmy pointed to the bar running along an entire wall. “Open bar, love. Really drunk, aren't you?”

“If I'm lucky.”

Emmy went with her to grab a drink. “If you would like to stay a bit longer, they're playing drinking games at one.”

Lily rolled her eyes, and Emmy laughed. “Do you know me at all, Emmy? Since when do I do drinking games? Especially since Hogwarts.”

“You need to live a little,” Emmy muttered under her breath. “And here's your little. Do you see that blonde over there, by the drums?”

Lily's eyes found the stage where the band had been playing, then found the object of Emmy's interest. “Yeah? What about him?”

“He is a top barrister, makes millions of pounds a year, has an American accent, and abhors long-term relationships. I believe that he just might be your cup o' tea, Lily.”

Lily considered him thoughtfully. “You're sure about the relationship thing?”

“Dead sure. A girl at the office used to date him, and when he said that their relationship had to end because it'd been going on too long… Well, needless to say the whole office got to hear her sob story,” Emmy grunted. “Gosh, I wanted to bash her. She wouldn't shut up.”

“Might've just been an excuse,” Lily said, winking at the guy. He'd noticed her almost immediately. “I need something just a bit more secure.”

“He's got—you'll love this—a rep for it,” Emmy snickered. “Jake, that's his name. They've taken to calling him Jerky Jake. I immediately thought of you.”

Lily smiled. “Too easy. Thank you so much, mate. This should be fun. Anything else?”

“He likes the chase, or so they say. Apparently, that's his favorite part.” Emmy swigged another shot of something that Lily didn't recognize.

“Well. So do I.”

“I'm telling you, perfect boy toy for you.”

“A gift from the heavens.”

“So, you're still going for it, even though you're going to go for James?”

“Naturally,” Lily muttered. “I need to be entertained.”

“Do you think he's heading over?” Emmy asked coyly.

“Of course.”

“Do you think I should leave?”

“No. Make it seem that I'm not so desperate. You said he liked the chase. This isn't going to be easy.”

“Lily, I love your evil mind,” Emmy sighed contentedly. “What should we talk about then, before he comes into hearing range?”

“And when I saw those posh little lacy undies, I just had to buy them! They were too sexy to ignore, you know? Ride up my arse though,” Lily laughed, Emmy laughing even harder at her random topic.

“Pardon, I hope you won't mind, but I simply couldn't keep away. You're exquisite,” said the American, coming up to them. “Good evening, ladies.”

“Evening,” they said simultaneously. “How can we help you?” They'd long ago noticed that guys found this rather irresistible, and used it to their advantage.

“I was wondering, if you'd be so kind as to take a drink with me?” Yankee (as Lily had mentally dubbed him… Blame the alcohol) said smoothly. The question was directed at Lily.

“I'd love to,” Lily replied, watching satisfaction light up his face. “But I'm just leaving. Too sorry. Maybe I'll catch you around? I'm Lily by the way. Lily Evans.”

“Craig Tucker. Maybe we will catch each other. I must admit, I hope so.”

Lily smiled in her Lily way. “Maybe we will. I'll catch you later, Emmy.” With a wink, she headed for the door.

Too easy. Only too easy to do.

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(One year later, the long-awaited wedding…)

Lily Evans, one year older and wiser stepped into the church.

She'd waited so long for this. Maybe she was being selfish about this whole thing… Oh, screw it, there was no other option now. And it's not as if Erica's parents couldn't afford it. They were rich as the Queen herself. It wasn't her fault (alright, so it was. So what?).

So much had happened: she was different. For one, men loved to propose to her, and maybe it was the fact that she actually had something to live for. After that put down from Erica that day in February… Well, she knew whatever se did, it would have to be big.

Craig had proposed. That had been interesting, needless to say. Then Chris, who'd only lasted for two weeks, had proposed not once, but twice. Rex, George, Brad, David, and one who she hadn't even known too.

What a life.

James, who was already at the altar, saw Lily (late, as always) come into the church, and look around for Emmy. What had he been thinking, inviting her? Why had she accepted?

They shared a small smile.

Damn her. A year, and he still felt so much for her.

But you're getting married.

To someone you can barely stand.

You'll never see her. She's always with her friend.

You'll never see Lily either.

Yeah, well…

You could.

Shut up, would you? I'm on the freaking altar.

You're heading for the asylum. Even Erica's clothes annoy you.

It's because she's always wearing purple. And she looks terrible in it.

Lily doesn't.

SHUT UP!!!!

James, breathing hard, turned to Sirius. “I should've had a big bottle of rum before doing this.”

“I think you're an idiot,” Sirius said simply, disapproving of the relationship openly for the first time. “You're mad. Completely bonkers.”

“Great timing, mate,” James hissed. “Remus, what do you think?”

Remus nodded his head toward Sirius. “What he said.”

“You never told me anything!”

“Yes, well… You never did ask.”

With a frustrated sound at the back of his throat, he turned back to the people in the pews, eyes instantly coming to rest on Lily.

What are you doing, James?

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-A/N: Alright. I had originally planned to do this differently, but I decided that I like to see Lily drunk. :-D. Sorry. Lol.

Thanks all!

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-Chapter Four: Sex On The Beach -

-By Natali-

You're keeping your word to someone to whom you gave it, James repeated, over and over and over and over again, hoping that he'd faint or something—anything to stop this.

“Do you, Erica Egbert Christina Emily Robinson, take James Potter to be your lawfully wedded husband?” the pastor droned on.

“I do.”

“And do you…?”

Lily was clutching her purse wildly, unsure of what to do. This wasn't going to work. What had she been thinking? Was she mad? Most likely, but she should've realized that this is utter, unmitigated madness! She should never have come. He didn't deserve someone like her. Someone who always put things off. She should've told him what she had to say earlier, not at his bloody wedding!

“Excuse me,” she whispered, getting up and heading for the door. The entire church glared at her, and she begged that James would not turn around. Keep looking ahead, she prayed. Don't turn around. Not now.

And for once, things went just as she wanted them to; she'd escaped.

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(-Later…-)

“Mmm, you look terrible,” Joe remarked, fixing Lily a glass of her favorite hard liquor—Scotch. “What, are your bloomers all in a bunch?”

Lily smiled bitterly. “That's one way to put it. Only one problem though—I'm not wearing any.”

“Naughty bitch,” he laughed. “Seriously though, what's the problem? You haven't looked this bad since… Oh. Is he back again?”

“No. He's gone for good now.” She didn't drink her Scotch, but instead stuck a straw in it and twirled it around, just for the hell of it. It was something to do with her hands instead of balling them and crying into them. “Very for good, actually.”

Joe nodded, slipping the receipt in front of her, then snatching it back. “No, I think this one should be on the house.”

“Heaven knows I need liquor,” she sighed, but still didn't drink it. “He's got married now. Today. I was invited, and I went—to mess up the whole thing, mind you.”

“And… What happened? He rejected you?”

Lily shook her head adamantly. “No. In fact, if I'd asked him to come and marry me, love me, be with me, I'd bet a whole bushel of galleons that he would've accepted and left that ugly, hideous-in-purple bitch faster than you can say Snitch.”

“Galleons? Snitch? Have you lost your marbles?” Joe asked.

“No, never mind.”

“Purple is a nasty color,” Joe said randomly, wiping down the bar. “I mean, it's the color of puke for fuck sake.”

“Joe, I don't need a description of the color. As it is, I'm planning on getting rid of this thing”—she indicated her purple cocktail dress—“just because it reminds me of her.”

“Then why'd you wear it?”

“Men are idiots. I wore it to show her—and James—that I don't look bad in purple.”

Joe looked at her soft lavender dress. “Lily, I don't think you look bad in anything. Or nothing, as I'd prefer it.”

Lily laughed, waving over Emmy, who'd just arrived. “Yes, well… You aren't really the one whose opinion I care about. At least, not like I care about his.”

Joe shrugged. “If you ever need a shag, I'll be more than happy to offer myself as a sacrifice.”

Emmy sat down, smiling. “Sex-On-The-Beach, Joe. And I'll vouch for him. He's a good shag, Lils. I bet he'll be able to help you get over your little slump here.”

Lily glared at her. “I've been caught up in this `little slump' for a year now, Ems. Somehow, I don't think a good shag—and I know Joe is one, trust me—is going to help any.” She downed her Scotch now, all at once. “Glad you're here,” she gasped. “You know I don't like drinking alone.”

“You missed a good wedding, Lily,” Emmy practically sang, paying for her drink. “Marvelously good, truth be told.”

Lily growled. “You're a cold-hearted bitch.”

“Don't I know it!” she laughed, sucking the juice off a cherry. “Why don't you go on over to his place and congratulate them, since you were unable to stay for the whole thing?”

“Because I'm leaving,” Lily snapped, getting up and gathering her stuff.

Emmy's face clouded over with worry. “What do you mean you're bloody leaving? Where the hell would you go?”

Lily slammed money down on the bar mat, and ignored Joe when he tried to give it back. “Who cares? But I'll owl you when I find out.”

“Owl?” Joe echoed. “What the bloody hell is that supposed to be, code?”

“Shut up, Joe,” they chorused, and Emmy jumped off her seat to go after Lily.

“Lils, you're mad!” she exclaimed, attracting several stares. “Why on earth are you leaving? Which brings me to my next point! Why did you leave today, during the wedding? I thought you were in love, I thought—”

“Guess what, Ems!” Lily bit out, cutting her off. “I guess I was wrong. Love isn't everything, and now it's too late. It's over. Fucking hell, it was over four years ago, and I'm just too much of an idiot to let sleeping dogs lie!”

Emmy stopped as Lily gathered her umbrella; it was raining outside.

“Lils, there's something you should know about him,” she whispered, noticing that everyone was trying to hear their conversation. “Something happened today. After you'd left, he—”

“I don't care anymore, Emmy!” Lily interrupted again, straightening up. “I left that church because I knew it wasn't right, and it's still not right now! Except, it's only more wrong now than before. I'll talk to you later, Emmy, I will. Give me two days. I'm leaving town. I should've done it so long ago, and I should've given up this silly fantasy of `true love'.”

She'd said the words with such disgust that Emmy balked in surprise, and didn't stop her when she tried to leave. Lily had never believed she would fall in love, but she knew “true love” existed. It was a slap in the face for her best mate to hear that she'd given up on it.

“Whatever it is that you did to upset your ex-girlfriend there,” said a fifty-something year old bloke from the table to her right, “it sure must've been something terrible if she deserted you at the altar. And I didn't even know homosexuals could marry here…”

Emmy was breathing fire. “Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you, you disgusting old pervert! Bastard! As if Lils and me would date. Please, she's not my type.”

“And then just what is your type?” asked a masculine looking female from the same table as the fifty-year-old perv bastard. “Something like me, would you say?”

“Depends. Do you have testicles and a large penis?” Without waiting for an answer, Emmy said, “No, I didn't think so. And if you do, then I still wouldn't go out with you, `cause you're uglier than the shit on this place's toilets!”

With a loud, frustrated sound, she exited the place, came back in, grabbed her drink, and then went in search of Lily.

She never did find her.

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(-Four days later…-)

“Hello, Dumbledore,” Lily said brightly, pushing open his office door. “Here, I've got those papers you wanted me to fill out. I hope you don't mind I did them in pink ink—I'd run out of black, and that's my letter writing ink.”

“Not at all,” said the Hogwarts Headmaster. “You remember James, right? Of course you do… You two were all the thing back in the old days.”

Lily whirled around, shocked to find James there. Without a wedding ring of any sort. Or any other jewelry. Except for that adorable little earring he had, which she'd always loved…

“How's your wife?” Lily asked calmly. Oh, thank God I am so high on magical pills…

James quirked his eyebrows. He looked like shit, quite frankly. “Haven't you heard?”

“Obviously not,” Albus chuckled, picking off a piece of lint. “James didn't go through with it. Maybe if you'd stayed long enough, Miss Evans, you would've known that.” His eyes twinkled mischievously. “I did like that dress you were wearing though. You look very nice in purple, my dear.”

“Thank you,” Lily said absently. “Why not, James?”

He gave a casual shrug, continuing to look through Dumbledore's massive bookshelf. “Love someone else, I suppose. Great party after though. We got so drunk that we couldn't move for a whole day. Slept there at the banquet hall and everything. Too bad you didn't stay.”

She nodded, glancing back at Dumbledore. Her old headmaster didn't need to know that she wasn't a virgin—hadn't been for eight or nine years—and that she would willingly shag James just now. It was awkward.

“I should, um, go then,” she muttered. Does he know? Should I have told him?

“No, Lily. Maybe you should stay. There are a few things I'd like to say to you. James, sit down. There's something I want you to join…” Dumbledore commanded, locking his door magically. “James, how do you feel about fighting Voldemort?”

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-A/N: Guys, I'm so very sorry! I've just been in a slump! I know this chapter is short, but that's how I get over my writer's block, in tiny chapters. Forgive me? I'm so sorry… I'm hoping that it wasn't completely predictable.

Thanks to everyone.

I'll try to update faster guys. Please read and review, and don't hurt me.

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-Chapter Five: Mini Chappette In Order To Cover My Stupidity-

-By Natali-

-Dedicated to Amanda G. Who inspired chapter four. I can't remember why exactly right now, but I know she did because I made myself a note. If you know me at all, you're aware that I have just about the worst memory possible. So, thanks Goddess of White Houses and All That Is Good And Sexual... From the Goddess of Wisdom, Beauty, Sarcasm, and the Bed-Pissing Dog. Love you!-

-Ok, more stupidity from me. In Word, I'd had this laced together with chapter four, because I'd forgotten I'd already posted a chapter four. So you can imagine how utterly surprised I am to find a chapter four already up. I'd lace it with the original chapter five, but I love chapter six so much, that I can't bear to do it. Sorry. Ok, now to the part you guys actually care about.-

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“I would consider it the biggest of honors to take out that bastard,” James replied honestly. “Why? The Order of the Phoenix, Albus?”

“How do you know?”

“Well, Sirius is in it, isn't he? I was eavesdropping,” James grinned. “Incidentally, I was initially very offended that you hadn't asked me to join, but considering I was just the biggest lout for awhile there, I can't say I blame you.”

“Well, I'm asking you,” Albus grinned.

“One condition,” James stated. He glanced at Lily, who was still in a slight daze, and then spilled the beans. “Lily can't join.”

“Who's to say he was going to ask me?” she sputtered.

“I was,” Albus confirmed, frowning. About to say that it wasn't really his place to decide whether or not Lily, he was cut off from doing so by Lily.

“You've got no bloody right, you prat!” she hissed, walking straight up to him and poking his chest. “In case you haven't noticed, we were finished a long while ago.”

“But I still care,” he said sincerely. “Dumbledore asked me first, and I accepted first on the grounds that you couldn't join.”

“And just why can't I join, Master?” she said smartly, crossing her arms.

Dumbledore smiled, remembering the several times throughout their Hogwarts career when they'd gone head to head. He sat back in his chair to admire the sport.

“You'll die!”

“That's not certain! Besides James, why would you care a bloody fig whether I died or not?” she laughed bitterly, throwing her head back. “Do you think that just because you didn't marry Erica I'm going to come and crawl back to you?”

“Damn you, Lils, I still love you.” James shut his eyes. “Dumbledore, could you give us a moment?”

“Sure,” the nearly ancient man nodded, springing up. “In my defense, I knew it all along.” With that famous twinkle in his eyes, he briskly left the office, leaving Lily and James alone.

Well, technically.

“Ha! Crawford, you old hag!” a somewhat unorthodox blue-haired witch screeched, calling another of the past headmistresses of Hogwarts. “What did I tell ye? They'd still have somethin' after they left this school!”

“Shut up, you old tartar,” Crawford screeched back. “I'll give ye the bloody twenty galleons some other time. Shut up and enjoy the show. Come on, young pups, I've not had good R rated entertainment since the 1800s when young Jimmy and Christina-”

“Shut your face,” Lily interrupted, turning back to James. “Good God, James. You're kidding me! You just had a wedding planned with another girl four fucking days ago!” She pushed him aside and strode for the door. “No, James. I don't want that over my head.”

“God damn it, Lils!” He caught her wrist and tugged her, a bit too hard. She winced and took out her wand.

“Let go of me. Or I'll hex you without a second thought.”

“Hear me out! You wouldn't let me four years ago, and not at the wedding, not ever!”

Lily closed her eyes, suddenly weary. “I'm tired of it all, James. I want it to stop. When you were gone, my life was fine. Last year, it got all messed up because you looked so damn good every time I saw you. And now... My body can't take it again.”

“Your life was fine. It can be great,” he whispered, pulling her closer. “You've changed in four years, Lily. Whatever happened to marrying that guy from the art exhibit?”

She glanced at him. “How'd you know about that?”

“Your drunken ramble.”

“Oh.” She looked down at her toes, blushing at the few thoughts she could recall from that night she'd gone to his bedroom, practically begging for sex. “I... I didn't think you remembered that.”

“You told me to enjoy it. I did, and I memorized every bit that I could.” He sighed. “Every touch, every emotion that rolled through me... I was so mad at you that morning, Lily. You've no idea.”

“You left me,” she gasped on a dry sob, allowing herself to lean on him for support. As if by their own accord, his arms mobilized and wrapped themselves around her small frame. He'd always been taller than her by at least a head. But it'd always felt right.

“I didn't know what to do,” he admitted. “You... You had been talking in your sleep. You kept saying `No, James... Don't ask me, the answer is no. It was just sex. Just sex...'. I couldn't take it. I got up and left.”

“And Erica? What about that?”

James ran his hands across her back. “I was mad.”

“What happened at the wedding?”

“I realized it was wrong. You look good in purple, did I ever tell you that?”

Lily remained silent for a moment, then broke out into tears, laughing. “You agree? Oh, I'm so glad you agree. Erica looks terrible in purple. It clashes with her skin and hair.”

James laughed. “She doesn't know how to wear it, it has nothing to do with her colors. You look good, and you have the same coloration.”

She stretched up and draped her arms around his neck. “I love you. Damn you. Damn you.” She nipped his lips. “Why did you kiss me that night? When I came to you in my pink pajamas? Which, by the way, I never got back.”

“I kept them. I still have them. I kissed you because I wanted to,” he shrugged.

“But I asked you not to,” she whined, giving a little stomp with her foot. “It would have created so many less problems! That's what I'd been dreaming about. You asked if you could kiss me, and I said no. And you said that we'd slept together, and you deserved to kiss me. That was the whole `just sex' thing.”

James leaned his head against her forehead, placing light kisses on her nose. “I should've stayed.”

“I should never have gone.”

“You should never have turned me down.”

Lily nodded, choking on her tears. “I know,” she whispered. “Do you think there's anything left?”

“Of course! Don't be an idiot,” he glared. He hugged her tighter. “But I can't do this again if the end result isn't going to be marriage. For me, that includes kids and a whole lifetime. Also, you're not allowed to desert me at the altar.”

She bit her lip. “Do we have to do this now?”

He opened his mouth to say a firm Yes, but Dumbledore poked his head in.

“Are we done? Not that I'm all for love and all that good stuff, but I'd rather not have to step in here and think of the time Lily and James did a few things on my desk...”

They stared at him.

“Yes,” Lily said softly. “To both your questions.”

“WHOO!” James yelled, picking her up and twirling her. “You've got three months to organize a wedding, Lils. So get started!”

“James! I'm not rushing into this!”

“No, if we were rushing, we'd be leaving now. But, as we're not, no rushing involved.” He smiled down at her and kissed her deeply. “I mean it. Three months from today.”

“On one condition,” she whispered against his lips.

“Anything.”

“I join the Order.”

“Damn you. Fine. But you're getting a desk job.”

“Too late,” Dumbledore interjected happily. “You are currently embracing the new head of the Order. You, too, of course, James, but she's been in the Order for about two years now. I was going to ask her to join my poker group, not to join the Order...”

Lily laughed, kissing his chin as he stubbornly held his lips out of reach. “On the bright side... I've currently got an empty flat in downtown London, if you'd like to rendezvous there...”

James considered her, a wicked grin growing on his face. “Let's, then.” He glanced up at Dumbledore. “If anyone asks, we were never here, and you most certainly do not know where we are or what we're doing. We'll see you tonight at the meeting.”

“How did you know there was an Order meeting tonight?” Albus asked curiously, smiling slightly.

“Sirius said he `had to work late' tonight. If you knew Sirius, you'd know that his job is nothing. Quite simply because he's a spoiled little rich boy, whose parents died and left him mounds of money. I'm not a simpleton,” James replied. “We'll be going then.”

“And we might be late!” Lily called over shoulder as they jumped into the fire to use the Floo Network.

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-A/N: Hello! Don't shoot me! Ok, I've got one more chapter for this, then it's done. Let's put it this way: I'm going to wait for twenty reviews to post it. So, get your friends, do what you will. I think twenty is a pretty decent number. Ok, so I know you all hate me, but could you please read and review anyway????

Thanks to all of you for reading. I'm really sorry I haven't been posting. Anyone want to flame on me????

Please read & Review!!!!!!! Love you!

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-Chapter Six: I Really, Really Hate The Holidays-

-By Natali-

(-The Next New Years' Eve...-)

“Happy New Fucking Year,” Lily muttered, bitterly sipping a cup of water. “This is hell, Emmy. I want to shoot myself.”

“Cheer yourself up, Lils!” Emmy groaned. “I've done this for the past 5 or so New Years', and it's getting quite old. It hasn't been that long, you exaggerated bitch.”

“So what? You swear that it makes it any easier for me. You know how addicted I was. Am, I suppose, but I currently have to use past tense, to my disgust,” Lily sighed, pouting. “Now I really hate the hols, Ems.”

“Yes, I know,” Emmy muttered dryly. “Let me guess. You spend so much time and money on a dress that you won't even fit into soon-partly to blame for the holidays, and in the end, you can't even get drunk to make it worthwhile!”

“Exactly!” Lily nodded. “My life is a hell.”

“I've said it before, and I'll be saying it until one of us dies, and then I'll remind you in the afterlife.” Emmy paushed, taking a long sip of her Bloody Mary. “It's a fucking party, Lils. Have a fucking good time or I'll stick a fucking knife up your arse. You fucking got me, mate?”

Lily didn't reply, staring grumpily into the distance.

Suppressing the urge to follow through with her threat, Emmy continued, “Go get laid or something, Lils. I can't stand you like this.”

“But I don't want to get laid sober!” Lily hissed, shutting her eyes closed.

“Not even by sex god James Potter?” Emmy smiled. “Oh, speak of the devil. Look at who's traveling the length of the room, just for you, Lils. Maybe the little darling will get a boner for you.” She downed the rest of her drink. “Holy bloody fuck, I need another fifty or so of these.”

“I think I might vomit on him. I'm not feeling too hot.”

“Can I leave you two alone for just a few minutes?”

“Of course. We're civil, Emmy. Go and get me a wine at least, will you?” Lily begged. “Please?”

“No. Now shut it. Oh, James, maybe you can do something about her. If I hear her say one more time that she doesn't have enough alcohol in her system, I might do something and get sent to Azkaban for it. Later, loves.” She left without another word.

Lily looked into the smiling face of James Potter. “But it's not that I don't have enough alcohol-it's that I have absolutely none!” She let her face crumple. “My gosh I haven't this sober for this much time since... I was twelve.”

James only smiled wider. “Come here.” He stretched out his arms and she walked into them without another thought. “You know you can't have alcohol, Lily.”

“Why?” she demanded, knowing the answer. His lips dipped and slid across hers in a tender, short caress.

“Because you're pregnant. Would you really drink?”

“No, but I'm going to complain about it all I want. I can't believe you knocked me up so soon. We've only been married not even a year!”

James chuckled. “So I'm virile. You used to love that in me.”

Lily smiled wickedly, sliding her hands into his jacket and touching his chest. “I still do. I just finished telling Emmy that I didn't want to get laid, but I'm horny suddenly. These mood swings aren't the greatest things, you know.”

James laughed. “Speaking of, I thought of a name for Junior.”

“What?”

“Harry.”

Lily blushed, giggling. “But, love, that's what we named your little man!”

“Yes. I thought it fitting. What do you think?”

“I love it, sadly. Oh, this kid is going to be so bloody corrupt. Too bad. His problem. Come on, I really am horny now.” She made to move, but he held her within the cage of his arms. “Yes?”

“I love you.” He kissed one of her closed eyelids. “You know that?”

“Yes. I love you too. A lot.”

“Dandy. Now, let's go. I'm very randy.”

“That rhymed!”

“You know, I think the water had something in it, because you're awfully air-headed.”

Lily laughed, taking his hand as their fingers intertwined. Without another word, they apparated away from the party, hoping every would excuse their absence.

After all...

They were still newlyweds, weren't they?

THE END

….Or Is It?

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-A/N: Ok, here's the thing. I'd planned to stop it right there. But hey, anyone up for a prequel? I don't know though. I would need at least forty-five SIGNED reviews. This means you've gotta have a name here. Or at least give me your email. I got way too many anonymous reviews… Anyway, I know you were all expecting a wedding, but if I do the prequel, that's how it'll end.

BUT thanks very much to:

All the anonymouses, which were like at least half of them…

Amanda G- yes, Lily was in the Order before James. In case you haven't noticed, she says that she lies about her job when speaking to Superman…

Gah_meep

Lizzy Bennet

Watermelon914

Alex C Potter

Dramageeked- Lmao, you didn't finish your sentence in your review…!

Arch- Still have to join the Great Break. Oops…

Mani 1219

hermione278

herbsila@yahoo.com

Flame Of Desire

Carmen

Greengrl

CattyCat

kat black

Tanya J. Potter

MarauderQueen

Reines im Herzen

Isabelle Gibson

me

Windowseat Wonderer

tickeledpink_429@yahoo.com

Almost there and nowhere near it- HA HA that's so funny! A real life superman named Brent! I promise you I just made that up.

KMK- I guess she did plan a wedding in three months...

And my very first hate review: Thank you brilover, for you awesome use of tact. That, by the way, was sarcasm. I respect that you seem to think I'm the worst writer, but really, I'd have to disagree. The fact I spell most things right is enough to get me published. But thank you. I appreciate your honesty.

Love you all!

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