The Remedy Of Love

InTheStars

Rating: R
Genres: Angst, Mystery
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 02/01/2005
Last Updated: 01/04/2005
Status: in_progress

Two fingers reached to trace the inky blackness, a heavy sigh escaping his mouth. All that he had feared to fight and yearned to be rid of, now branded on his very skin.

Chapters

1. Prologue

2. Chapter One

3. Secrets

1. Prologue

Title: The Remedy of Love
Author: Crystal
Disclaimer: I own nothing but a cell phone I didn't pay for and maybe the Pepsi can I'm drinking from. Sad, huh?
Dedication: Nitya, whom I love very very much.

Author's Note: After careful consideration, and some tweaking, I am reposting this story because I have a clearer idea of what is to happen in it. Expect the next chapter soon. :) (PS, dear Kalie, if you are to see this, know that the Christmas fic is being worked on!)

--

The air was humid with the coming late-summer storm, leaves of green casted in grey shadows and few turning dull reds and yellows under the creeping fall. The changing of seasons, an everlasting cycle more beautiful with age greeted the Earth, so unnoticed by rushing occupants, intent and focused on themselves.

Harry felt the first drop of the cool rain as he stepped off the platform, hands buried in his pockets and shoulders hunched. The train hooted its departure, grinding against the metal tracks with a feirce grumble.

He breathed, surveying the surroundings around him, and with a detached aura he wiped the stray bits water that had caught his glasses in their journey to the ground.

He wondered if she missed him. His heart blossomed, opening and spilling with an ache at the question that posed itself unexpectedly, and he fixed his spectacles precisely, controlling the shake that entered his fingers.

It had been five long years since he'd last seen her. In the deep recesses of his mind recently brought to light, he knew it felt like an eternity of simply existing. Town to town, hotel to hotel, the necessary transfiguration of worthless objects to money. He was gone before the temporary magic wore off and a few leaves as opposed to dollars appeared in the cash register. Far-a-way amusement bubbled up in his throat, immediately stifled by the loneliness crashing into him.

Loneliness that consumed him with not an ounce of warning or prior inclination after a long dormancy.

Harry couldn't seem to understand why the memories would come back to him now, and with only the knowledge that they did, it frightened him. Had he not destined himself into this bleak routine, this endless running? What had he been running from?

Hermione.

Emotions swamped him, dragged him unmercifully into the undertow.

Hermione. Danger, death, betrayal, and love mixing together to form something sharp and stinging.

He tried to remember the time when his school years rolled into a blurry image, imposed and wanted, but all that came to him was the clarity he realized why he'd wanted to live without.

The smooth, drawling voice of Draco Malfoy entered his mind, the swirling blue light that hit him, leaving him to find the strength to get up and leave all of it behind.

One word that changed him forever. Four syllables he was only too welcome for.

"Oblivate," Malfoy had willed, indecision clouding silver eyes, even as green hardened in assurance. A small whimper resonated from the red-headed Ginny Weasley as the spell worked its magic, the last he heard before fogginess took over.

He remembered magic. Spells, charms, incantations, hexes and jinxes, how to hold a wand and fly a broomstick, all perfectly.

He remembered school, and friends. He remembered a blurry vision of The Dark Mark in the sky. He remembered the sweet smile of a pretty, bushy-haired girl. Faintly, he had remembered everything else.

But only faintly.

And now the memories were clear and haunting his steps.

With bitter acceptance, he realized they had always been as he lived that nomadic, emotionless life. Had he made a new life in this absence? No. Had he found the peace he seeked through the haze of ignorance? No.

The truth had always been in him, buried far but not far enough.

Steps resounded against the asphalt, a pounding rhythm designed to beat the thoughts of his forgotten past out. Futilely, they came unhibited, little moments and factoids popping up out of no where, unwanted.

Voldemort, dying, cursing, the black, inky darkness that seeped from the open wound, from his slashed heart.

Ginevra Weasley, little sister of his best friend, pale fingers entwined with the hooded Draco Malfoy's, silver eyes warily watching as Harry dictated orders. Orders. He had given orders, commands, sent out his willing troops that he had witnessed die.

Rain pelted down beads that wet his face like tears and seeped between his locks of hair for warmth, holding on for dear life, tugging and matting wild strands over his scarred forehead.

Footsteps grew to a faster pace.

Hermione, her honey eyes strained with worry, glimmering with water, little hands grasping handfuls of his robes.

"Please, Harry. Don't die on me. Don't- you- die-..."

He didn't quite understand how he remembered the exact shade of purple that welted under her eyes like tattoos of horror and exhaustion.

A bell jingled harshly under his unmerciful shove through the glass door, rebounding back and slowing as it was made to.

"Can I help you, sir?"

It always came back to Hermione, he realized, swallowing back a rebeling lump in his throat...

"I need a room for the night," he explained hoarsely, pulling out the faded wallet.

"I love you, Harry..."

"Single bed?"

"Please."

"I loved you, Harry..."

The transaction of money and key was a dreamy haze of reality through the blinking gaze of his mind's eye.

"I loved you, Harry..."

His forearm burned with memory, reaching up his arm and into his heart, weaving through his veins and arteries, reaching every cell and soaking into his eyes. Fingers grasped the locks of wet hair with desperation, and he pulled in gasping, starving breaths, collapsing onto his rented bed.

He had always known what he had done. He had always known, and it haunted him and punished him even when he hadn't grasped the knowledge. The truth, once distant, had always been in him, buried so very, very far but never far enough.

With the practiced flick of her wand, Hermione Granger's curtains rattled against the metal poles that held them up, releasing the sun into her room. It flooded every crevice, including into her eyes which squinted under the glare, desperate for darkness once more. She yawned leisurely, laying back into the warm, soft sheets and flittingly thinking of the day to come. White walls, blue curtains, and patients that filled up her next hours. She sighed, smiling and snuggling deeper.

She was pleased with the job she had taken, working alongside her best friend, Ron's sister, Ginny Weasley, as a prestigious mediwitch at St. Mungoes. Many had pegged her for a different job, many had offered her high ranking Ministry placements after the war, but Hermione had found her passion right in those halls, where she had spent caring for the war victims after the dust had settled and Voldemort was dead. It was a strange and almost foreign thought to leave.

With a last nuzzle into her mattress, Hermione rose from bed, shuffling to the kitchen and setting the coffee on with another twist of her wrist. She had a quaint, nice apartment in her name, in London where she now lived, with the easier distance from both St. Mungoes and in walking distance of Ginny's place, which she also shared with Draco Malfoy. She had a living room, a bath, a big bed and an adequately-sized fridge. She had books upon books litering the tabletops and bookcases. Hermione Granger had everything she could ever have wanted.

Absolutely everything.

A smile that was more of a grimace adorned her lips, and with her usual routine, she got ready, completely unaware that it lingered.

The heels of Hermione's worn, white sneakers squeaked across the busy floor of St. Mungoes, heading towards her office on the fourth floor. She was her usual self this morning, dressed in her white robes, poised and ready for the day's work. Walking gracefully into her secluded office, she closed the door to fellow coworkers only to find red hair and a matching set of cloth sitting at the edge of her desk.

"Mornin', Hermione," Ginny greeted with a weary, troubled smile, chewing a sugar quill between her teeth.

"Good morning, Ginny," she replied, stopping in concern.

"Have a nice night?" she inquired absentmindedly, jumping off a small pile of paperwork.

"It was relaxing. You?"

Ginny plopped into an armchair reserved for patients and guests, eyes trailing her friend as she, herself, sat primely into her own chair.

"All right," she answered, playing with the hem of her robes and removing the sweet from her mouth.

Perplexed at Ginny's behavior, Hermione frowned. "What's wrong?" she asked softly, eyebrows furrowing.

Ginny licked her lips, the slight shaking in her fingers betraying distant gaze. "Draco- Draco didn't come home last night."

"What?" The hiss escaped between teeth, befuddled words stammering out. "What do you mean, Ginny?"

"I mean... just that. He didn't come home."

"Did he leave a note?"

"Yes, and he- I-" A guilty, aching look flashed across her features, and she looked away, trying to conceal the instant tears that flooded her eyes.

"Oh, Ginny-" Hurriedly, Hermione rushed to her side, clasping hands with her. "What happened?"

"Hermione- he- he had mentioned it before-" she stopped, shaking her head, "I didn't think he'd actually do it- but he- Hermione, he-"

Finally, cinnamon eyes found honey brown ones, stark in the penetrating, trustful gaze, even as fear wove into the lines of color. "I think he went to find Harry."

--

2. Chapter One

Title: The Remedy of Love
Author: Crystal
Disclaimer: I own nothing but a cell phone I didn't pay for and maybe the Pepsi can I'm drinking from. Sad, huh?
Dedication: Nitya, whom I love very very much much much.

Author's Note: Viola! Chapter One. Featuring Sexay!Prettier!Older!Mature-rier!Draco. *winks to Daniela*

--

It was almost kind of funny, Herimone thought, that dreams of simply seeing him, touching him again haunted her nights, and she'd wake up, arms stretched out to encase empty air. Hermione thought it was almost funny that after she cried for him in that distant dreamland, a peice of her kept being left behind when she woke.

She wondered, looking into Ginny's fearful eyes, what price would she have to pay Harry to get those peices back?

"Hermione? Please... say something," she pleaded.

She wondered if there was a price to pay, if there was a tag you could put on a captive heart. "Do-" She tasted traces of salty liquid decorating her lips, a crashing realization of what her soul was screaming. "I can't-" A shaking breath and dismissive hand. A reasonable voice in her head, the logical tone that soothed her, stopping the trailing, unwanted tear. "Just..."

She blinked away memories of a time long past, love and pain, hopes and fears that drowned out all else.

"Just... tell me everything, Ginny."

"He has been talking lately... about what happened, Hermione. That what he did for Harry... what Harry asked him to do... it was a mistake."

"A mistake?"

"Yes, that, he shouldn't have, even after all that had happened..."

An aching image of hopeless desperation in Harry's eyes filtered across her vision, gone before it could be chased away.

"...that making Harry forget was not the answer."

Her heart skipped an angry beat. "Was it ever, Ginny?"

Hurt flashed across the contours of a freckled face. "Don't turn this around."

"Harry should have remembered. He should have had to live with it every day of his life," the words, bitter and unused hissed out of her mouth like venom, "I have."

"Hermione..." A sad voice that reached out to quell the rising anger left Ginevra's mouth.

A mixture of regret and ire fought in the tombs of her shaking foundation, bringing glossy tears into her eyes yet again, and with a hasty resolve, Hermione looked away in shame. "I'm sorry."

"I know," responded Ginny quietly, ghosts of former problems and misdeeds hovering over their heads.

Silence commenced, a short reflection that settled over them like thick fog, "where-" Hermione sighed, bringing her eyes back to Ginny's. "Where do you think he'd start?"

"I'm not sure..." Ginny shook her head in hopelessness.

The wheels turned, an idea formed through the mist of emotions that were steadily building inside. "A tracking spell, Ginny. Any good Auror would. He would just need something of Harry's."

Cinnamon eyes widened. "Harry gave him his invisibility cloak." A wispy tone took hold of her voice.

Hermione breathed, remembering the day long ago, the day she had taken so much time and care to tuck away in the deep confines of her consciousness. Harry had.

"Ginny, go get something of Draco's," she said, voice shaky with anxiety and memory. "Where Draco is, Harry will be."

A familiar patter of rain awakened Harry, coaxing his heavy eyelids open. The dampness of yesterday's rainfall soaked into the mattress and his clothes, an uncomfortable warm-wetness. Limbs weary, he rose, shifting uncomfortably under the weight of his clinging clothes.

He had slept without a single dream recalled, yet he felt as if something lingered behind his eyelids that he should remember. An unamused huff of air left him, thinking of the ironicy. He couldn't remember a dream, and yet he couldn't forget what he desired to.

Harry slowly stood, reaching a hand through his tousled jet-black hair before peeling the discomforting jumper from his body and padding into the adjacent bathroom, kicking his shoes off on the way. Hesitantly, Harry looked up into the wide mirror. Half-moon circles painted under his emerald green eyes, his pale, almost translucent skin eerie in the shadowed room. Cold tiles brought shivers into his feet and he stared himself down, thinking of the long lines of sadness attacking his features.

The white-linned scars of duels and war.

The faded, black skull, home to a silent serpent that clung to his skin, curving and grasping his forearm.

The Dark Mark.

Two fingers reached to trace the inky blackness, a heavy sigh escaping his mouth. All that he had feared to fight and yearned to be rid of, now branded on his very skin.

Two sharp thuds sounded, the act tearing his gaze and thoughts away. Treading around the strewn clothes, he reluctantly pulled on the discarded jumper, and still grimacing at the feel, he opened the door.

Grey, cold eyes sought out for his, and Harry's heart slowed, his forearm burned in remembrance. In reminder.

"You look like a bloody wet rat," the blonde drawled, his lips twisting into a sneer.

"What-? How-?"

"Always the eloquent speaker, Potter. Great manners, as well. Are you going to invite me in or leave me out in the bleeding rain?"

"I- Come in..." He stuttered out.

Draco stuntered in, his gaze calculating every inch.

Confusion blanketed him, and Harry stared in disbelief at the figure from his past. "How did you-" He began, voice awed.

"Find you, Potter?" The patented Malfoy smirk was flashed. "Tracking spell. Invisibility cloak. I suspect you've been remembering things as well."

Smugly, he fell into the old armchair that rested in an inconspicuous corner.

"Remembering things?" Harry realized, and suddenly it all started falling into place. Muscles clenched and tensed against the accusatory anger that slid down his throat, releasing with the loud bang of a door slamming shut. The frame rattled and Draco raised an eyebrow, even as his eyes darkened and his lips thinned.

"Yes."

"It was you-" Fists curled and Harry took took a step forward, a horrible rush of rage building. "How did you know how to-"

"Don't get your knickers in a bunch," Draco commented dryly. "When I found you, I wanted you to be lucid. As for how, my wife, Ginny, is afterall, a mediwitch. It didn't take long to figure it out, and you were pretty willing to remember it seemed, anyhow."

"Why?" Harry grounded out. Earlier thoughts of regret, betrayal, bitterness- that almost calm acceptance of them all in his dismal, long life- they all shattered.

Draco sighed, his skin even paler in the dark room. The cocky behavior that was so constant in him seemed to filter out of his posture, leaving only a tired being that looked just as old as Harry felt. "Because, Potter, it's time to stop being a coward and come home."

His eyes burned with furious tears and his breathing stuttered with shame. How ironic, he thought, that of all people it would be Draco Malfoy to lecture him on his cowardice. Denial and fear crept up on him, twining its grip on his voice, and ire-laced words spoke. "Home? I have a home?" He growled. All the self-hatred and regret, the doubts and questions that had quietly been brewing seemed to erupt. "I have nothing to come home to, Malfoy."

"You have Hermione."

Something ugly, something malicious reared its head in his blackening soul and prodded him. "Shut your fucking mouth," the voice grated on his insides, scraping his throat with digging claws. "Hermione is the last person who would ever want me home."

Draco stared at him steadily, eyes narrowing. "Then what are you doing, Potter? What exactly can you possibly be doing that makes your life worth living from a rent-by-the-hour, trashy motel across the way from some fucking pub with five-cent whores? Do tell."

"Nothing," he answered between teeth, blinking fast to keep down the tears. His jaw felt glued, his head pounding from the pressure. "I don't fucking deserve to live because my life has become shit. Happy now, Malfoy?" He spat out contemptuously, the loathing mostly for himself.

A sneer adorned Draco's lips, a disgusted glimmer entering his eyes, and he stood. "You're pitiful," he said, and something snapped and crumbled to peices inside of Harry. "I'll send Hermione your heartfelt regards."

The words lashed out at him, creating imprints of slashes across his being, the wounds opened and spilling whatever trickle of life he had left.

"When you grow the fuck up, she lives in London."

And he left.

--

3. Secrets

Title: The Remedy of Love
Author: Crystal
Disclaimer: Mine! All MIIINE! Or not really.
Dedication: Nitya, because I loves her lots!
Author's Note: So. Seems like we're going back in time to explain some things. And raise even more questions. :D I promised the next chapter will be much much longer.

--

"Harry-" A giggle escaped the confines of the sweet pink lips that beckoned his.

The drapes were a dirty yellow intertwined with gold, sneakily letting in stray beams of light that splashed against mused white sheets and tangled limbs. Her breath was hot and stifling underneath the bombardment of fabric, colliding with his face and running along his body.

"It's getting late." Words followed the heated air. "They'll be wondering where we are..."

A throaty chuckle left his mouth. "They'll know where we are, Hermione."

She reached across the small space that divided them, honey eyes lite with playfulness, and weaved her fingers through tufts of coarse and thick black hair. "Harry..." She pleaded, and the knocking of a nearby door answered.

"It's almost noon! Come out, or I'll be forced to come in there myself!" Two heads popped from underneath the folded sheets, fresh air rushing their faces.

"I won't say I told you so," Hermione laughed, and wiggled out from beneath him.

"Eyes closed!" The voice added frantically.

A surprised squeal left her, leaving her mouth in the momentum of two strong arms dragging her over the distraught pile of white. Frizzy ringlets of curls stroked the sun-bathed mattress and hid in the darkness of frightened shadows. "I told you so," he teased.

"Come on!" Ron's agitated voice sounded through the door again. "Mum's made breakfast for you two hours ago and Dumbledore wants a word with you, Harry."

Any trace of playfulness left Harry's face, and a wave of secrets rose in his eyes, sweeping and residing like the tide. "I wonder what it is..." Hermione mused, turning a confused expression from the closed door.

Harry smiled, and the light that had abandoned him moments before shone again. "Me too," he agreed, and planting a chaste kiss on her lips, finally rose from bed. "All right, Ron!" He bellowed. "We'll be right down."

The thunder of his best friend's heavy footsteps followed, gradually becoming distant until they ceased all together. Harry quietly pulled on his clothes, trying to ignore the honey eyes that followed his every move.

"What do you speak to Dumbledore about so often, anyway?"

"Nothing," he hastened, turning away from her gaze quickly. "I've told you. He helps me practice Occlumency."

"Harry-" She started, halted by the blank, unmoving stare he fixed on her, fingers lingering over his shirt. He saw the hesitation in her eyes, the wounded gaze that seemed to erode ever more of his resolve. "Some days you leave for these lessons, and it takes you days to come back."

"Hermione-"

"I'm not daft, Harry."

"I know."

And silence seemed to steal their voices, dangling the unspoken words out of their reach.

The thud of footsteps pounded mercilessly against the hallway floor, reverberating through the castle of stone, the sound muffled under the black drape of hood.

Jade eyes searched the path relentlessly, turned every corner with knowledge and precision of his whereabouts, hand clasped tightly and discreetly around the thin, long wand of holly. He stopped abruptly, drawing it up at the swish of dark robes emerging from the coming corner. "Stop," he ordered, and the figure obeyed.

Face set, he drew closer in long strides, stopping only when he could make out the silver that shone from inside.

They widened in surprise, worry, anger, and soon he was being tugged harshly into the opposite doorway, tumbling into the room gracelessly, a movement much less sophisticated and refined than his previous. Feet found their way and his body righted itself after a second's sway, and he turned penetratingly rageful eyes to his fellow occupant. "Was that necessary, you wanker?" He spat.

Long, milky white fingers drew back the hems of a robe, revealing the pointed face of Draco Malfoy, his eyes still wide with fear. "Are you absolutely insane?" He barked. "What are you doing here? If you had been found- if you had been seen-"

"Oh, shut it," he breathed out with a large measure of annoyance. "Do you think me that dull as to enter this castle without knowing the consequences? I'm here to bring you a message, you prat."

"Then out with it!"

"Dumbledore wishes me to-"

He stopped suddenly, listening.

"Fuck." Draco's voice growled in realization.

They both moved quickly, timed against the rustle and movement of voices and cloaks in the outside hall. Silver appeared from beneath the long robes that adorned Harry's body, and retiring to a remote corner, both men disappeared underneath the silky strands of Demiguise hair.

"Just like you to throw us both into this room."

"I don't recall that being your number one priority when I did, now shut up." Draco snapped back, and the high-pitched sound of rusted metal groaned in agony, allowing entrance to three sets of hooded Death Eaters.

"Listen, Aldous," a voice whispered dangerously from beneath one hood, drawling and softly feminine, "you are best to keep your mouth shut about things you do not understand."

A croaking, unsure laughter replied, this tone deeper with age and masculinity. "There a far few things that I do not understand completely, Bellatrix."

A shallow breath left her slight frame. "The Dark Lord's plans are for only those to whom he trusts the most, Nott. You do well to respect his wishes or your pain will be one of them."

"I am a loyal and obedient servant of our Lord." He stepped forward, and there was no mistaking the anger in his voice, nor the indiscreet way in which Bella's hand slipped underneath the folds of black, ready to strike.

Nott paused, and sighed heavily, drawing back his robe to reveal wrinkles of hard long years and a trembling lip that seemed to move on its own accord. Blue veins lined his face, mapping the contours, and what was left of his white hair was combed slick back against his neck, and sprinkled on his upper lip. "I only ask for his audience."

Bella's fingers, like the legs of a spider and nails deathly black, slipped off her hood to reveal a malicious grin. "And you come to me. You follow me to my quarters begging and pleading like a weak, senile old man and for what? To ask an audience with one you are so unworthy of? What do you want from the Dark Lord, Nott? Forgiveness for your betrayal?" She took a seductive step forward, desiring his rage. "For your son?"

"Bella!" The third, slender figure that had been hovering silently, spoke up. "There are some lines you do not cross." She reprimanded harshly. Those words seemed to light Bellatrix's mad eyes, and her grin grew, stretching her lips grotesquely. "And he brought along the little rodent as well."

A mass of startling red hair flushed with the dismal darkness of the room. A maze of freckles outlined reddening cheeks, and an unadulterated ire seemed to radiate from her being. "You are not the only means of going about this, Bella. Only a obstacle that can be easily overcome."

The rows of white that had been flashing before retreated. "Get out of my room, Aldous. And take this trash with you."

A horrid smile twisted Ginevra Weasley's lips before she turned and followed her fellow Death Eater out the door, shutting it with a quiet click.

The air whistled with the force in which Bella's wand was pulled from her cloak. She breathed heavily, clutching it in her palm, glare steadily in the wake of Ginny's departure. She heaved and sputtered curses, firing harmless red sparks, before shoving the weapon back and stalking from the room in a barely controlled rage.

The crackling of a fire was all that remained in the wake of the bitter argument until cloth bellowed softly from a corner, revealing the grim faces of Draco and Harry.

"She'll be back soon." Draco stated, planting a hasty stare.

"Dumbledore sent me-" Harry reached in his pocket, pulling out a small red box that fit into the center of his palm. "-to give you this."

They exchanged mutual looks of grave understanding, and Draco took the box, gripping it tightly in his fist.

Harry left without another word.

--