Mistake

hermyfic

Rating: R
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 06/01/2005
Last Updated: 06/01/2005
Status: completed

Hermione thinks she has made a mistake and ran out of wizarding world but does she really makes a mistake? Please note Rating has change. A bit of fluff, a mixture of writing styles, you might get confuse at the first reading but please try it. I'm waiting for your comments! :-)

Chapters

1. Mistake

1. Mistake

Mistake

ZzozZ

Disclaimer: No, not mine and never will be *sigh*. JKR owns them.

A/N: Thanks to Vicky. She is a very capable and wonderful beta reader. I have rewritten the last part of this story and haven't had Vicky to read so if there's any mistake be sure that they're mine. Thank you in advance, dear readers. I hope you like this one shot story.

Enjoy!

ZzozZ

I stopped in front of the Fat Lady portrait and gave her the password. The portrait swung open revealing the empty and quiet common room; I walked slowly through the portrait's hole. I had two large books clutched in my arms as I had just paid another visit to the deserted library.

It was Christmas holiday but the atmosphere around Hogwarts was not the old cheery with pleasant Christmas carols sung everywhere like the other years I remembered. It was our seventh year at Hogwarts and the war finally had erupted in a full swing. Voldemort's presence was now fully known and the declaration of war between light and dark had also been made. Students had gone home to their families, all of them except Harry and me.

Professor Dumbledore had decided it was good for students to go home to meet their families because (in my opinion) he sensed the final war would come soon and no one could guarantee the victory, so it might be the last Christmas for them, for all of us. When the thought first struck me I couldn't make out what to do. I was torn between wanting to go home and staying here with my friends but fate seemed to make the decision for me.

I was about to tell professor McGonagall that I would like to go home when the news reached me: Ginny had been attacked during the Hogsmeade trip that morning and she was in a very serious situation, they had to transfer her to St. Mungo's. Ron had to accompany her too. So there was only Harry now who would be staying at Hogwarts because Professor Dumbledore did not allow him to leave Hogwarts, saying it was the safest place for Harry other than the Dursleys.

I didn't want him to stay in the huge castle all by himself. I know how Harry takes thing when he is left alone, just like in the summer before our fifth year. Especially in the tension of war and the attack on Ginny; I didn't think it was a good idea at all. At last I decided to owl my parents and tell them I wouldn't go home for Christmas this year; the reason - well as always I wanted to study for my N.E.W.T.'s. They were a little upset because since they had moved to the United States, I had only visited them once. They didn't say much about this though, being the supportive parents they always are, they understood. Besides it was just one more year, they had said. I was sad and felt guilty because I had never actually told them anything about the situation we were in. But I didn't change my mind.

Walking into the common room I was not surprised to see Harry was sitting on the floor facing the fireplace yet again; it was what he mostly did these days. I could see only his back but I somehow knew he was staring unseen at the fire lost in his own thought. I cleared my throat announcing my presence.

“Hermione?” He asked without turning his gaze from the fire. His voice sounded far away. “Come and sit down.”

I walked silently to sit next to him. “Are you feeling alright?” I asked putting my books down and starting to peer over the page I had bookmarked.

“I miss her,” came his voice in the same tone.

I felt a pang in my heart. I closed my eyes fighting the rushing emotions that were invoked by a mere simple statement.

“She will be alright,” I said in a small voice; my eyes never left my book.

He let out a deep breath. “I know but I still worry about her,” he paused, “I love her.”

I blinked a few times behind the curtain of my frizzy brown hair. Silence fell as nobody was talking or as my ears went deaf, I was not sure. I forced myself to focus on the book in front of me.

“Have you never stopped studying, Hermione?” His unexpected question startled me a little. I looked sideways at him.

“You know me, Harry,” I replied, “I want to be prepared for my N.E.W.T.'s.” I gave a half-hearted laugh, which sounded rather strange to my own ears then resumed my looking at the book again.

“Come on, `Mione,” he said, his voice suddenly changed to the old Harry's I remembered. “It's Christmas holiday, for God's sake.” He pulled the book from me. “Let's go for a walk; I don't want to just sit in here,” he added sadly.

I didn't say anything but I knew what he meant. I sighed. Yes, Harry loved Ginny; he had just said that himself and Ginny loved him. They had been going out since the middle of our 6th year. I could feel my throat tighten as I reminded myself of the obvious fact.

“But it's too dark outside. It's dangerous,” I tried to reason him hoping that my voice didn't sound too throaty. I was afraid I would do something stupid if we were to walk side-by-side, alone and with nothing to distract me.

“Well, in this case we won't go outside,” he paused and thought for a moment. I looked up straight at him for the first time and saw his eyes glimmer as the idea struck him. “How about going down to the kitchen for something to eat and - ” He leaned in to whisper in my ear, “and maybe some Butterbeer; I know Dobby has some.” He drew back with a wide grin on his face making my stomach drop painfully. How I love that grin. `No! Do not think!' I told myself sternly.

I frowned at him. “I don't think it's a good idea, Harry.”

“It's good enough for now, Hermione, come on!” He said. I didn't have time to protest as he quickly dragged me to the portrait and all the way to the kitchen.

Fifteen minutes later we were standing in front of the painting of a bowl of fruit. We were both out of breath but Harry eagerly tickled the pear and we went inside. A lot of House Elves enthusiastically greeted us and offered us food and drink. Harry dragged Dobby aside; he whispered something into his big ear. Dobby frowned but then nodded his little head when seeing the look on Harry's face. Soon we were making our way back to the common room with our arms full of food and Butterbeer.

That night we ate and drank happily. We hadn't had such a carefree time for so long that we didn't realize how late it was or that we had drunk so much Butterbeer.

Butterbeer was not a strong drink but nonetheless it was alcohol and drinking too much could make one drunk. That was the condition we were in, we were drunk. I was not as drunk as Harry but it was enough to draw any sense from me as Harry kissed me brutally on the lips and I began to respond to him in an equal passion.

A voice at the back of my head was yelling at me that it was wrong, very wrong to kiss my best friend, my other best friend's boyfriend no less, but it felt so good, too good. I didn't want to stop; I didn't want him to stop!

He pulled back and I made a small protesting sound but it turned out to be a moan when his teeth found my neck in lightly nibbling. I tailed my head back giving him more access and continued to moan in pleasure. My hands, which had been buried in his hair before, found their way to his back. I ran my fingers in circular motions, up to his shoulder and briefly on his lower back. He groaned against my neck. He kissed his way down to my collarbones but when I arched my back further he stopped and resumed his kiss on my mouth; he was teasing me and I was enjoying it. I deepened his kiss, opening my mouth, allowing his tongue to taste me as I tasted him back.

We broke the kiss breathing hard, faces flushed, and dazedly we moved to a couch by the fire and eagerly started kissing again. This time his free hands roaming all over my body, sending shivers up to my spine; his skillful mouth kissing his way slowly down to my throat. One of his hands slid under my loose, white blouse. It went around my back and undid the clasp on my bra. His fingertips came to contact with my breasts. I felt a warm sensation ran up to my core sending goose bumps on my skin. He began to fully massage my two little mounds with such a skill I never knew him capable of. I tightened my grip on his shoulders and arched my back to meet his touch. The tension between my thighs built up even more quickly as his lips brushed softly on my nipples, left and right in turn before he fully captured one of them in a hard bite. I cried out in pleasure. He continued to lick and bite on my nipples. One of his hands was still wounded around my waist but the other was caressing my outer thigh. I went completely mad as his hand finally brushed passes my most private spot.

I didn't want to open my eyes fearing it would all become a dream if I opened them. Suddenly I felt him stop moving and slowly I opened my eyes. I saw him; his emerald green eyes, glassy with heat were looking at me intently. There was something in those beautiful green eyes but I didn't want to elaborate it at that time. It had to be the alcohol making, I was sure, he couldn't feel that way about me. Stupid! He thinks you're Ginny Weasley! I swallowed hard as reality hit me. I turned my face away from him to hide my unshed tear and was ready to push him off of me when his mouth once again covered mine in a fierce kiss. My thinking system all shut down instantly. No reason mattered now. There was only the two of us, and our little world of passion.

The world stopped moving completely then, and all I knew was we were making love. We were making love against our consciences, against our friendship; against his love for another girl and against everything in the world- we were making love. The passion, the desire had blinded me from seeing the consequences that would follow our action but I didn't care. I could not care at the moment. I was ready to give up the whole world just to be wrapped in his strong, comfortable arms.

ZzozZ

I woke up a short while later. I felt the pain between my thighs, but I got up, gently as not to wake him. I succeeded in getting myself out of his embrace and quickly I searched for my wand in the pool of clothes near the fireplace and found it. I performed a cleaning charm on myself and got dressed. Then I stood towering over Harry who was still deep in sleep on the coach. His face relaxed and a tiny smile was curved at the corner of his mouth. I held my wand tightly fighting the urge to kiss him awake and make love again but now that the alcohol had left me my logical side was stronger and it took control over my actions. I stood still, fighting my inner battle. Should I use a memory charm on him so he wouldn't remember the events last night? Should I tell him the truth and face the consequences? The questions were asked and for the first time in my life I had no answers for the questions, my own questions no less.

I tried to think as hard and quick as I could muster. I couldn't let him know about what happened between us. It would destroy our friendship or his relationship with Ginny or worse both because of that stupid mistake. Mistake- I said quietly to myself as a few drops of tear escaped my eyes. Mistake, I should have more control over my own desire. I thought bitterly.

Harry's life was complicated enough by now without me adding any more problems. How could I let him down? He loved Ginny. How could I muddle his relationship with her? It had been hard enough that Harry could open himself up and accept love for once, how could I destroy it? I shook my head and gripped my wand tighter. With my decision made I raised my wand but I couldn't make it. I couldn't bring myself to cast the spell on his peaceful sleeping form, the man I loved and fell in love with... I admitted quietly to myself for the first time.

But if you love him you have to let him go, let him be with the girl he loves. My conscience kept telling me. I know! I shouted in my mind then sobbed mutely.

Quick! I brushed the tear from my eyes roughly and focused on Harry.

“Scourgify!” I cleaned him of any signs of our coupling then magically dressed him in his robe. I rearranged everything back to the normal way. I conjured a blanket for him then cast a healing charm on him just in case he felt sore because I knew I did. I blushed as the image of last night popped in my head.

When everything was done I went back to my dorm. I knew it was stupid to do that. What if he remembered? But he wouldn't. I tried to reassure myself. He was so drunk he could not remember and if he did he would more or less think it had been a dream. Besides if he asked me anything I would deny it. He wouldn't know. I smiled a little, a victorious smile with a hint of sadness. A moment later I was crying all over my pillows.

ZzozZ

Since that day I tried my best to avoid staying alone with Harry or if possible I would avoid him completely. I couldn't stand being so close to him and unable to touch him, to kiss him. As I had thought Harry showed no sign of remembering our night together. I was relieved to say the least but a part of me that always sticks to the truth was disappointed and hurt at the same time. However I did my best to shut all emotions from everyone and buried myself in my study. I would lie in my bed at night and think back to that night, that fateful night. I didn't regret it at all. The memory would stay with me for the rest of my life.

School started again and Ginny was back. It pained me to see them together but if there was someone who could hide her feelings it was me. I wouldn't let anyone know I was in a dying pain. But things just got more complicated. As I could make myself appear as though nothing had happened and suffer heartbroken alone, fate decided I needed more punishment.

Odd things started to happen to me. Well, it wasn't odd at all if I accepted the truth, but I couldn't bring myself to believe that I was pregnant. It took me a whole week worth to finally accept it though I had no idea of what to do about it yet.

Then in the following meeting of the Order our spies, professor Snape and someone else who wouldn't reveal his identity, broke the news that Voldemort was planning to attack Hogwarts within a week. The Order took it as the signal of final battle and started preparing everything before hand.

I was also a member of the Order along with Harry and Ron. I would play my part in the last war and the solution came to me. I didn't have to face everyone with the news of my pregnancy or to deal with the problem and ruin everything around me. I could wait till the war broke and I would fight. I would die in the battle with my unborn child. No one would know the truth. To them Hermione Granger was the heroine of the war and died in honor. I had laughed derisively at the thought. It was the most idiotic idea I had ever had but at that time it was the most brilliant idea to solve my problem.

My hand went slowly to my abdomen where I knew it was living, growing but not likely to be born and see the sunlight. I cried silently. `It was for the best.' I told myself, my child.

ZzozZ

The day the final war broke out, I fought along side Harry, Ron, some students, the Orders and the Aurors from the ministry. We had prepared and we had our insiders in Voldemort's ranks so we had advantages. Even though it could not prevent some of our members from losing their lives in the battle. I had seen my classmates get hit by killing curse and fall down lifeless or writhe painfully under the Cruciatus curse. It made my blood boil and I forgot all about my plan on losing my life in the battle. I fought the Death Eaters with the best of my knowledge.

I heard a scream when I was in a duel with one of the Death Eaters. Then there was an explosion; someone in our side or Voldemort's had set fire on the forbidden forest. I glanced around quickly: the fire was spreading rapidly. I looked back at the Death Eater I was fighting with and saw his eyes gleam. I could easily imagine him grinning evilly behind his ugly Death Eater mask. He raised his wand and threw curse after curse at me. I was forced to step back again and again till my back was only a few meters away from the fire. I realized I was trapped.

He laughed cruelly and pointed his wand at me. I clutched my wand tightly and held my breath. At the corner of my eyes I vaguely saw Harry and Voldemort surrounded in a bright shield; their wands connected. Then came a very loud bang followed by a loud scream, Voldemort's black figure scattered in the smoky air and dropped lifelessly on the ground. I took the chance and threw the Expelliarmus charm at the Death Eater in front of me. His wand soared in the air but he was quick to recover from the shock. He growled angrily, stepping in he grabbed my wand arm and his other hand was trying to pull my wand from me. Gathering all my strength I kicked him hard on his lower abdomen. He gave a surprised yelp and fell backwards into the fire.

It happened so very fast that it left me shaking violently. I looked at my wrist where he had grabbed; blood was streaming from the place that before was covered by my bracelet. For a moment I couldn't move then I heard a lot of noise all around me. Suddenly I knew we had won. Harry had finally fulfilled his destiny. I became shakier and frightened as I realized the situation I was in. I couldn't think anymore. I did the first thing that came to my mind- I fled.

ZzozZ

I reappeared in a limitless lawn, which I didn't feel familiar with at all, not that I could think properly. My head was swirling. My eyes were glazed with tears; I couldn't see anything clearly. I walked on without knowing where to go. I just walked and walked till my feet swelled and my stomach growled but I didn't stop. I didn't know how long had I been walking but then I saw a cottage with smoke rising from its chimney at the far end of my sight. I knew I had arrived at a village. I was hungry and thirsty but tiredness had consumed me so badly that I couldn't afford the walk any longer. I looked around and decided to take a break under an apple tree.

I leaned on the tree's trunk. My feet swollen and numb; my back hurt like hell. I felt tears prickle in my eyes and my chest tightened so much that it was hard to breathe. I closed my eyes and sobbed quietly then everything around me went black. I might have fallen asleep or fainted, I don't know but when I woke up I found myself on a white covered bed in a room that seemed to me like a Muggle hospital. I looked at my surroundings. There was another bed at the left side of mine but no occupier was seen. I tried to get up from the bed but my limbs were sore and my head hurt as though it was hit repeatedly.

A few minutes later a woman in a white blouse and white skirt, carrying a tray, came in. She must be a nurse, I thought.

She smiled at me and said, “You are awake.”

“Excuse me, may I ask where I am?” I wanted to know how far I was from the wizarding world.

“You are in a local hospital in Cadgwith,” said the nurse kindly, “a man from the village brought you here saying he found you lying unconscious under a tree.”

“Oh- thanks to him,” I said and tried to think of something to answer the unasked question in the nurse's eyes. “I was on the way to visit my cousin in another village but I was so exhausted that I stopped and took a rest... I didn't know that the exhaustion could make me faint like this at all.”

I cringed inside at my excuse and knew the nurse didn't believe me. I suddenly remembered and was grateful that I wore Muggle attire, jeans and a jumper, to the battle.

“You were so weak when he brought you here,” the nurse said again and looked at her clipboard, “and you are pregnant, you know that?”

I shuddered involuntarily at her words. “Are you okay?” She asked me and felt my forehead with her hand.

“I'm all right,” I replied quickly, “I know I'm having a baby.”

“Well then you might want to rest now I will bring you some food and the doctor will see you after that,” she said and turned to leave.

“Wait!” I called after her. She came back and I asked her where my clothes and my wand were. I told her that the wand was a present for my little niece who adore fairy tale. She was unconvinced, I could tell, but she said she would bring it bake to me when I left the hospital.

I stayed in the hospital for two more days then I left. I had nowhere to go. My parent's house had been destroyed when they were attacked last year. Fortunately they were all right but had moved to live with my great aunt in the United State since then. I couldn't contact them, it was too far away besides I didn't want anyone to know I was alive, not even my parents.

I started walking again. Overnight I arrived at a small village and decided to settle in but I needed money and an identity to find a job and live on. That was the last time I used magic. I disguised myself into an old woman and became a fortuneteller. Of course I'm no master of Divination but I had read books about it and together with my skill in Legilimency I could tell a fairly truthful story to my clients. I played fortuneteller for two weeks before I had enough money to rent a small flat and register a name with the local administrative office. I put in a fake ID card transfigured from a piece of paper- Linda Blunts.

I got a job in a local library. I liked my job and my new life in the small quiet village. My objective was clear now. I wanted to give birth to my child and raise him or her with love and care. If the time came, meaning that when my child would get his/her letter from Hogwarts, we would move back to the wizarding world but for now I just wanted to live a simple life without trouble and wait for my child to come out see the wonderful world.

ZzozZ

Gods! I'm reading my diary again. I thought of writing everything down so I would be able to get rid of some of my thoughts, but it turns out that I read it every night and remember every word. I will never be free!

Well- I am not complaining. I am happy with my life. Now I need my sleep; I have to work in the morning. So good night, diary!

ZzozZ

Hermione closed her diary and put it back in her desk drawer near her wand. She touched her wand softly and longingly before closing the drawer. She walked tottery to her bed and lied in with her hands covering her abdomen protectively.

The next morning she woke up, feeling refreshed and energetic. She took a bath, got dressed and prepared to go to work. She was brushing her hair and humming softly to herself when she suddenly heard a pop sound in her living room. Hermione stilled her action. She listened carefully for anymore sound. There was someone in her living room; she could hear the footsteps.

Who could it be? She asked herself, panicking. Then she opened her drawer and pulled out her wand. Clutching it tightly she made her way quietly to the door.

She pushed the door slightly ajar and looked out. Draco Malfoy!

Hermione didn't have time to react to the knowledge when a strong hand grabbed and yanked her abruptly out of her bedroom.

“Stupefy!” She yelled but Malfoy was quicker; he dropped Hermione's hand and jumped back; the spell missed him by inches.

“Oh! It's the Mudblood know-it-all,” said Draco Malfoy, grinning wickedly.

Hermione pointed her wand at his chest. “Get out of here before I hex you to oblivion or get the Aurors to put you in Azkaban!”

Malfoy laughed. “But before they come you will be raped and dead already.” He eyed Hermione's body and his gaze came to stop at her swollen abdomen; his grin broadened. Hermione instinctively moved her hand to cover her belly and kept her wand straight at Malfoy.

“Oh tell me, which one? Potter or Weasley or both?” jeered Malfoy.

“It's none of your business!” said Hermione furiously, “Stup - ”

“Stupefy!” A bolt of red light hit Hermione. She fell back on the floor. “Mudblood, it's your day now,” said Malfoy evilly, “Crucio!” Hermione screamed and writhed in agony. Tears streaming down her eyes as she clutched her belly painfully and blood started to drip along her legs.

ZzozZ

“Hi Harry, can I talk to you?” said Ronald Weasley.

“Sure,” said Harry Potter, “what is it, Ron? You look troubled.” Harry took off his cloak and walked to sit at the table in the kitchen. Ron trailed behind his friend. His face wore the expression of seriousness.

The two wizards sat at the table facing each other. Dobby appeared bringing them some tea.

“Harry,” Ron started, “I meant to ask you for long but I never had the opportunity; now I think it's the best for all of us.”

Harry furrowed his brows; he sensed something unpleasant was going to happen but he didn't speak. He waited for Ron to continue. The red-head wizard took a sip from his tea seeming to calm himself.

“What happened between you and Ginny?” Ron asked bluntly.

“What happened between me and Ginny?” Harry echoed; he was puzzled.

“Yes, you and my sister,” Ron said in annoyance, “what's happened? You didn't even go to see her off at King Cross.”

“Well - I was sorry and I told her so,” replied Harry, “a man at the Ministry said he saw Hermione so I went to see him.”

“And what did you get?” asked Ron mockingly, “Nothing!” He turned to face Harry and went on sadly, “Harry, Hermione's gone. With or without you accepting it, she's gone.”

“No! She's not dead!” said Harry furiously, “how can you say such a cruel thing about her, Ron? She is your friend, how could you wish her to die?”

“She was my friend and will always be!” Ron retorted, “I do not wish something bad to happen to her but -” He lowered his voice. “She is dead; nothing we could do would bring her back, Harry, nothing!”

“How can you be sure?” said Harry, looking straight at Ron, “how do we know if we didn't even see her body? She might have gotten hurt and been hiding somewhere or she just didn't want to meet us. We have no evidence.” His voice became smaller and smaller as if he was trying to convince himself rather than Ron.

Ron snorted bitterly. “Evidence, Harry? It's with you all the time...” He trailed off. His eyes dropped on the silver bracelet around Harry's wrist. It was Hermione's; Harry gave it to her for her 16th birthday. It was the only jewelry Hermione usually wore. They found it buried in the ash at forbidden forest.

Harry followed his gaze and saw what he meant. “But she might have dropped it by accident while fighting with the Death Eaters.” Harry argued still not wanting to accept that Ron might be right.

“Stop being such an ignorant arrogant, Harry.” said Ron impatiently, “There is no way Hermione could be alive and wouldn't show up. If she were hurt, which she was not, some of our allies would find her and it's nonsense to say that Hermione wanted to avoid us. She would not abandon her study if it were the last thing she would do.”

“I don't know,” Harry spoke quietly; he looked at the fire dancing lively in the fireplace, “I have a feeling she is alive and doesn't want to meet us.”

“Why? Why would she not want to meet us, Harry? Why on earth?” said Ron, throwing his hands up in frustration. Harry could be really stubborn.

“I don't know,” Harry said still not tearing his eyes from the fire, “I remember before the final battle Hermione had been withdrawn from us all. She looked very sad all the time.” His voice sounded delirious as his thoughts drifted back to the past.

Ron shook his head in disbelieve. Harry was worse then the time he lost Sirius. “She was worried about N.E.W.T.'s, Harry. She was not sad, just worried sick.” He tried to convince Harry.

Harry stood up abruptly to face Ron, anger flared in his eyes. “You never noticed her! You were too busy snogging and dating that you didn't notice! She was sad, not worried, she was deeply depressed!” Harry was practically yelling at Ron now.

Ron looked taken aback for a moment then he too lost his cool. His face flushed as he yelled back at Harry, “I might not have noticed but it's not our fault that she is dead! You cannot use her death to excuse your being miserable and drown other people around you to be miserable like you, especially Ginny, she loves you, don't you know!”

“HERMIONE IS NOT DEAD!” Harry was screaming then lowering his voice, he said bluntly. “If Ginny cannot take it that I care about Hermione, I don't think we could go any further.”

“What did you say?” said Ron, dangerously narrowing his eyes. But before Harry could answer the flames in the fireplace burnt bright green and a head appeared.

“Mr. Potter!”

“Hello, Mr. Ashley! Have you any news?” said Harry kneeling in front of the fireplace. Ashley was an officer working for the Ministry of Magic in the department of Magical Law Enforcement and was also a member of the Order, which Harry had asked for help looking for Hermione.

“We have detected the use of Miss Granger's wand a minute ago.” said Mr. Ashley at one.

“Where?” said Harry and Ron in unison. They hadn't found Hermione's wand after the fire was extinguished. Most of them believed that it had been destroyed in the fire along with her body but now someone or maybe she was using it so there was hope.

“Number 9, Barn Hill, Cornwall.”

Harry and Ron didn't wait for the head to disappear, they Apparated right to the place.

ZzozZ

Hermione was in a great pain, never before had she hurt like this. She felt like she was burning from the inside out. She gasped for breath and trembled violently. Blood continued to flow. Feeling her stomach jolt she hugged it even more tightly. Malfoy's cruel laugh echoed in her head. Gods! Please no.... She sobbed.

Hermione could no longer focus. Her world became blurred and darkened as every minute passed. She could see the images from the past swirling before her eyes, from the sad ones to the happy to the passionate and to nothing at all. Her eyes stared unseen; her ears became deaf. She heard the sounds from the past, talking, laughing and crying then far, far away she heard someone shout Expelliarmus. She closed her eyes; her body was numb, no pain, no anger, no fright, only nothingness and soon the darkness consumed her completely.

ZzozZ

Hermione stirred; her whole body was sore. She slowly opened her eyes and blinked a couple of time to adjust to the brightness. When she could see more clearly she looked around the room. It was all white then slowly; very slowly realization dawn on her she quickly moved her hands to her abdomen. It was flat; it was flat!

“No, please no....” She sobbed. “No, it can't be. It can't be true. No....” She kept muttering and shaking her head. She was unable to breathe as the pressure fell on her chest making her gasp and tremble wildly.

“Hermione! Hermione, calm down.” said Harry. She hadn't noticed he was there before. He hugged her tightly and said soothing words into her ears. Hermione leaned into his embrace and sobbed on his chest. She said painfully, “Harry, our child - I'm sorry.”

“Shh - Hermione, it's alright. Everything is all right. We didn't lose him.” Harry said softly and patted her back comfortingly.

Hermione stopped crying. She looked up at Harry, her eyes all red from crying. “You are not lying just to make me feel better?” She asked quietly unable to believe what he had just said.

Harry smiled and kissed the top of her head. “No, I'm not lying. Our son is all right. He's born early but he is safe and well.”

Hermione felt her heart swell with such joy that tears started welling up in her eyes once again. For a moment she forgot all the pain and that Harry was with her and knew her secret. She forgot everything. “Can I see him, please?” She asked softly; her eyes, full of hope that collided with sorrow, were pleading.

“Not now, love.” It pained him to see her in this state but he had to make sure that things were under control and she was strong enough to accept such a strong emotion. “He is under the care of the Healer for now and you need to rest first. I promise when you wake up again you will see him. Now go to sleep, dear.”

Hermione wanted desperately to see her son but she was so exhausted that she couldn't even hold her eyes properly open. She believed everything Harry said. When she woke up again she would see him, her son. She went to sleep with a slight smile on her face.

Harry tucked her in and moved the covers up to her chest. He brushed a few ringlets from her pale face and kissed her forehead before leaving the room. It was time to explain everything to Ron and Ginny.

Ron was shocked at first then was enraged but Harry explained everything to him. He told him that he had always been in love with Hermione but he didn't know, not until the day he thought he had lost her that he knew he loved her more than just a friend or anything else in the world. Ron, for his part, tried to understand but he still needed time to adjust to the news. He needed Harry to leave him alone so he could think properly. It was better, Harry had thought, at least he would come to terms with it one day and soon he hoped.

Ginny to his surprise showed no surprise but was rather sad and defeated. She accepted the truth and told him that it was not because of Hermione they broke up. They had tried but it did not work so there was nothing to regret. It somehow made Harry feel relieved. They were still friends even after they broke up.

The next morning he went to the hospital. Hermione awoke again so he asked the Healer to bring their child in. Hermione fed him for the first time with her milk, a little, as she was not very strong yet. Harry told Hermione the rest of the story at her flat the other day. Draco Malfoy was the last Death Eater of Voldemort's ranks and he was now captured and put in Azkaban. He told her of his talk with Ron and Ginny. Hermione was sad but relieved to hear that they were not too opposed to her relationship with Harry. She couldn't ask for more; it was better than what she had thought thousand times.

There was a knock on the door and the heard Ginny's voice. “Hello!”

“Hello, Ginny!” said Hermione, smiling.

“Hi Ginny!” Harry said. He stood up and offered her his seat next to Hermione's bed.

“How are you doing, Hermione?” asked Ginny taking the seat and holding Hermione's hand.

“I feel better now and soon I will be able to get out of this horrible place.” Hermione replied trying to make a joke. They laughed but after that the silent fell on them. Hermione shifted in her bed; Ginny seemed to have the uneasiness Hermione was feeling too. She looked anywhere but at Hermione.

“Em - Harry,” Ginny cleared her throat, “May I talk to Hermione alone?” She asked.

Harry looked at Hermione then at Ginny. He nodded and left the room without saying a word. Ginny turned her gaze back at Hermione and threw her arm around the other witch on the bed. “I'm sorry, Hermione, I didn't know I made your life so hard.” she said.

“No, Ginny, it's not your fault,” said Hermione, hugging her back; “I should be the one who's sorry, Gin, because I took Harry from you.”

Ginny pulled back and wiped the tears from her eyes. “No, you don't.” She smiled and went on, “you cannot take away what has been yours all the time, Hermione.” At Hermione's puzzled face Ginny laughed. “I can't believe you two! Had you not a clue that Harry has always been in love with you the whole time we'd dated?” said Ginny sadly. Hermione looked as if she wanted to say something but Ginny held up her hand. “No, please don't pity me and don't be sorry. Love is a battlefield, no regrets. I have fought my war and now I've lost; I accept it. It's not anyones fault.”

Hermione put her hand on Ginny's and squeezed it firmly. “You are still my friend, are you?”

“Yes, as long as you'll let me be your son's godmother,” answered Ginny with a grin and the two friends crushed one another in a tight embrace, smiling and crying at the same time.

ZzozZ

“I can't believe things turned out this good,” said Hermione with a sigh as she leaned into Harry's embrace and rested her head on his shoulder.

“Me too. I thought I had lost you - Oh! Hermione,” said Harry gazing down at her adoringly, “you know I love you, don't you?” He tightened his arms around her from behind even more tightly. Hermione covered her hands on his feeling a warm sensation ran through her entire body.

She smiled and said softly, “yes, and you know how much I love you too?” Harry nodded planting a kiss on her forehead. Hermione went on, shifting to get more comfortable. “You still haven't told me how you know Jamie is yours.” She looked up curiously into his two green eyes behind the glasses, which were sparkled with love and content.

He started, “that night, Hermione, the night you tried to make me think was a dream.” Hermione blushed crimson as memory came back to her. Harry nuzzled the back of her neck slightly. “I remembered it clearly, never forget even for a minute, Hermione.”

Hermione opened her mouth to ask him why he had never showed any sign of remember after that night but Harry quickly answered her unasked question before she even had a chance to utter a word. “I never talked about it, I know,” said he, “but it was because of you, Hermione.”

Hermione looked at him puzzled. He sighed. “You know, Hermione, as much as I had tried I couldn't help myself from thinking about you. I dreamt of you every night that Voldemort didn't try to invade into my mind. I tried to reason myself that you were my friend and you didn't want that, you didn't want me to be anything but your best friend.” He moved his hands onto her shoulders and twirled her a little so their eyes met. “You were so very important to me, Hermione, and still are. I could not afford to lose you so I kept quiet as if nothing had happened even though all I wanted to do was to talk to you, to tell you how much I love you but I didn't.”

“Another reason was I wasn't so sure back at that time I worried that my mind had played a trick on me when you didn't even want to talk to me how could you ever want me?” He finished with a sigh buried his face in her hair.

“I want you, Harry,” she whispered and kissed him on the lips, “always...” Looking at him she saw the man loved, had loved for as long as she knew what love was.

Harry sighed once more. He went on, “but when I saw you at your flat, everything dawned on me. I was not dreaming and I knew you had my child in you. Then at the hospital when you said our child, it just confirmed what I had thought.”

He wrapped his arms around her waist drawing her closer to him. He said softly, “Hermione, promise me never to hide things from me, please. I can't bear to lose you again.”

Hermione turned around and snuggled to get even closer before answered, “I promise.” She kissed his lips. “I love you.”

“I love you,” said Harry and his lips covered hers in a tender yet passionate kiss they could share for the rest of their lives.

ZzozZ

A/N: Thanks for reading and please leave me a review. And for those who read Return to Me, I want to tell you that I have finished chapter 7 now but I'm still doing some editing before sending it to my beta so maybe it would be online very soon. :-)

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