The Distance

The Distance

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling actually gets paid to write this stuff. I don’t, so guess what? I don’t own Harry Potter.

He’s not coming.

I should know, I asked him not to. I knew that if he came I would never be able to say goodbye; I would never be able to leave him.

I, Hermione Jane Granger, the witch who graduated from Hogwarts with the highest marks, studied in a muggle collage in England for two years and has been given a scholarship at Harvard University in medicine, may risk the said Harvard scholarship just for a man.

I never thought that this could happen, until I started to realize how much Harry means to me. Yes, Harry James Potter, he’s the one I could be risking my whole carrier for. It feels to me now, that we’ve been friends for forever. All the best moments of my life have him in them, he’s my best friend... but he’s much more than that.

It must have been 6^th year when I finally started opening my eyes. Before I had labeled those feelings as just ‘extra friendship’, then there came a time when I couldn’t deny it any longer.

I had a crush on my best friend – you’d say ‘so what?’, but for me it was a big deal. I never knew how to act around him, I even spent a month or so avoiding too much contact with him – the poor guy even came to ask me if he had done anything wrong. I soon came to the conclusion that that was not the right way to deal the situation.

But what was the right way to deal with it? Maybe ignore it? Maybe right now it doesn’t seem like a good option but back then it seemed like it was the perfect and only option. So I tried to ignore what I felt every time I looked at him; it was difficult but the thought that he never felt anything for me pulled me through.

It went like that for two years, many things happened in those two years. Harry finally defeated Voledmort, and started to lead a very much deserved relaxed life. The change in him was amazing; he now laughed more often and became quite the prankster! Draco Malfoy shifted sides and is now Ginny’s fiancée; I should add that Ron was quite livid when he found out about this! Talking about Ron, he became quite the ladies’ man and never really settled down.

After graduation the three of us took a flat together, those were good times... while I studied in a muggle college, Harry was accepted in the auror program and he also plays Quidditch with Ron for Puddelmoore United. Ron had tried to go for the Cannons but they didn’t want him, it took him quite some time to get over that.

I tried to keep the thought of Harry in the back of my mind, but I just couldn’t. Living with him had proved very hard on that aspect, you could never know in what situation we would find ourselves in – from almost-naked-out-of-the-shower-Harry to extremely-playful-on-the-couch-watching-TV-Harry. Every time I found myself looking in those emerald eyes I just couldn’t stop my mind from thinking What if?

Right, what if? What if we were together; what if we give it a try? Before it would have been what if he didn’t think of me as his sister? But now I know that he feels something for me, two years of living together have shown me that.

I know what you’re thinking, if you knew how he felt for you, then why didn’t you give it a try? Well, first of all I only started thinking that he felt something for me in the last few months. And in the last few months I also started thinking about continuing my studies in the States.

It was a hard decision, going to the States or staying here with him. You should know me by now, career-wise I’m very ambitious; I was so honored when I received the scholarship, my thirst for knowledge and Harvard University were calling to me, urging me to take the scholarship. But my heart ... I never thought it would be so difficult ... leaving him...

Yesterday

“Hermione remind me again why we’re doing this now.”

“Because I couldn’t bear to do it tomorrow in front of all those people, Ron.” This was it; this was saying goodbye to Ron and Harry. What I said to Ron is true, I don’t want to do this in front of a public, I know saying goodbye means that I’ll cry and I don’t want to breakdown in front of people I don’t know.

“Let’s just get this over with. Hermione have a nice life, don’t study too much and erm... have fun and don’t be a stranger.”

Tears have already started coming down and I didn’t even try to stop them; “Ron... don’t be a prat. God I’ll miss you so much.” And I went to hug him, he held me without any complaints, he held me like a brother would hold a sister. That’s what we were brother and sister; “you’re my brother Ron, I’m really going to miss you”

“Come on Hermione, we’ll see each other right? I mean it’s not like you’re dying or anything”

I quickly untangle myself and look at him with that infamous McGonagall glare, but I note that he has a smile on his face. “Ah, there it is ladies and gentlemen, Hermione Granger’s glare. Beware!”

I laugh despite of everything; Ron makes quite an effort to remind me of how I can make even a Malfoy run away with my glare. I quickly take a glance to the door leading to Harry’s room, I know he’s waiting for me there so that I can say goodbye to him too. Ron apparently sees this.

“Tell him. It costs you nothing.” I’m not surprised that he knows, lately I made a poor effort trying to conceal it. I guess after almost four years I didn’t have the energy to do it anymore.

“I’m scared.” I tell him avoiding his eyes

“Of what, of a refusal? If that’s it-“

“No, I’m scared that if I tell him I wouldn’t want to leave” I finally look back up at him, he seems surprised but quickly recovers, he understands; he knows me well enough.

“He’s such a part of me... sometimes I think that I can’t live without him; being so dependent on him... it scares me, it scares me so much.” I finish with a whisper afraid that my voice would brake. He takes me in his arms again, trying to console me but he knows that nothing he says can help me.

“Just talk to him truthfully; and Hermione, I know that you don’t like to be dependent on someone and I also know that this Harvard thing is the greatest thing that can happen to your career but accept the fact that you can’t live without him and do something about it. I’m not telling you stay here, just do something about it.”

I nod slowly even if in my heart I have no idea what to do. As I make my way to Harry’s room I hear the distant popping sound signaling Ron’s departure. The door is slightly open and a peer inside to find him on the bed looking at a photo. I know which photo it is; it’s a picture of the three of us under a tree near the lake, we’re all laughing at a joke Ron had just said and Colin of course was nearby to take the picture. We all have a copy of it, Ron keeps it in his wallet, I keep mine in Hogwarts: A History, and Harry keeps his on his bedside table.

“You remember this day? Everything was much simpler back then”

Simpler? It’s clear that he doesn’t know of the inner struggles I had regarding him in those times. I quietly sit down beside him as we look together at that picture.

“Everything is changing now; you’re leaving. You deserve this Hermione, this scholarship.”

“Harry...”

“Come on, don’t be modest now- you deserve it, we both know that. You’re the greatest witch I’ve ever met“

“Harry, don’t exaggerate.”

“What? Hermione I’m not. You’re a great person, without you I wouldn’t have survived throughout Hogwarts. You’re – you’re my best friend.”

I lower my eyes, every time he says that I hurt so much. Unfortunately he notices and brings his hands to my cheeks; “Hermione...”

“What?”

“I...” Maybe his Gryffindor courage failed him, I don’t know. Whatever it was I knew I had to end things before they got out of hand.

“Harry, I have to go.”

“I know; you’ll do fine. Don’t worry about us we’ll be OK. Just stay focused on your studies.”

He hugs me and I try to engrave this moment in my mind. The way I fitted perfectly in his arms, his warm breath on my neck, his smell...

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow at the airport.”

At the airport? Didn’t he understand the meaning of doing this today and not tomorrow? I can’t go over this again tomorrow!

“Yeah, about that Harry; maybe you shouldn’t come.”

“What? But I have to tell you goodbye”

God; is he really not understanding, or is he just playing dumb with me? “Harry; today is our goodbye; this is our goodbye.” I try to fight back my tears, but I know I’m fighting a lost cause. He understands now, I can see that; he’s hurt, well I’m hurt too...

“You’re right, I understand” He hugs me one last time and gives me a smile before he apparates to somewhere else (probably to wherever Ron is) and leaves me alone with my tears.

Today

It was a tough goodbye, but I’ve convinced myself that it was for the best. I say goodbye to friends and family and start gather my things up and get ready to leave when I suddenly hear someone calling my name, “HERMIONE, Hermione wait.” I turn around and see Harry running towards me. I’m really happy he’s here but I’m afraid to do something stupid, to let my defenses down. By this time he has reached me and is trying hard to breathe normally but can’t, it’s obvious he was afraid he was not going to be on time.

“Harry, what are you doing here? I thought I-” but he stops me before I can continue.

“Wait Hermione, before you say anything, please just wait and listen to what I have to say.”

I was afraid of what he was going to say but I couldn’t leave without hearing him out, he didn’t deserve that. So I made a sign with my head showing him that he could go on.

“Hermione, when I found out you’ve been accepted at Harvard I was so happy for you, really! This is what you’ve always wanted and the guys at Harvard University said they would be honored to have you. I was so proud of you; I never doubted that you would get the scholarship. And now here you are, you got what you deserved, you’ll be studying in one of the most prestigious universities of the world; this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and I couldn’t be happier for you.” He stopped to take a deep breath before continuing.

“But there’s just one thing that I don’t like in this picture. The distance.”

“What?” I ask him automatically, I was hanging on his every word to see where this was going and I didn’t understand what he meant with ‘The distance’. He slowly took my hands and began explaining.

“You’ll be miles away from me, and I can’t take it. I can't take the distance, I can't take the miles. Hermione I’ll be here wondering when I’ll see your smile again.

“I can't take the distance. And I'm not ashamed that I can't take a breath without saying your name.”

I was shocked, Harry never spoke so clearly about his feelings, but now here he was standing in front of me telling me that he practically can’t live without me. In any other occasion I would be overwhelmed with joy, but this is not any other occasion. What does he expect from me? I slowly try to recover my voice so that I can ask him the question that is haunting me.

“Harry,” I start saying but he stops me by putting his fingers on my lips.

“I don’t want to ask you to stay; I can’t ask you to stay. This is your opportunity and you have to take it, if I asked you to stay I would be too selfish.” He stops as if to measure his next words carefully, then he says “take me with you.”

That’s just it. If I ever thought that it would be impossible for someone to make me speechless, then today I’ve been proven wrong. Twice. And if before I recovered my sense of speech, it doesn’t seem like I will this time. I just stare at him trying to figure out what to say when I hear Ron mutter under his breath: “It’s about time; I thought he would never come to the point!” I’m about to turn around and ask him if he knew about this all the time when Harry continues.

“What? Harry you can’t be serious!”

“Why Hermione? There’s no reason for me to stay here! And I know what you’re thinking: ‘What about your work?’”

Damn. How could he know me this much? Well, I know him that much too. I know he realizes he’s hit the right question and his face turns into a smirk that says ‘yes I know you this much’, then he continues.

“I’ve got everything figured out OK; the American ministry of magic already accepted my transfer from the English Auror Training to the American one.”

“And Quid –“

“And I’ll play Quidditch for the Boston St. Patrick. I told you I’ve got everything figured out. All you have to do is say yes.” Now he looks at me pleading with his eyes. I’m still too shocked to say anything. What can I do? I remember Ron’s words ‘accept the fact that you can’t live without him and do something about it’, and now I know he’s right. Harry interrupts my thoughts giving voice to his pleading.

“Please just say yes, for us...”

For us ... us ... I like the way it sounds, I’ve always like the way it sounded us, but now coming from him it seems much more real; just like I wanted it to be: real. I look at him and that’s when I say it, “Yes.” He looks as if he can’t believe what he’s hearing; I know he thinks he only imagined me saying it so I repeat it again this time louder and with a happy voice, “YES.”

“Yes?”

“YES!” And I throw my hands around him while he lifts me up and hugs me with all his might.

What happened next I can’t really say. I only know that Ron gave Harry a plane ticket and a hand luggage. I just figure out that maybe they devised a plan yesterday after they left and had already bought a ticket and prepared a luggage. We hug our friends and Ron says he’ll be visiting us soon with a twinkle in his eyes. I hear Harry tell me that Ron will be playing for the St. Patrick’s too. It doesn’t bother me. In fact I’m happy about it, I know that we’re a team and we’ll always be one. Now I look at this from another perspective, it’s like one of our adventures and I know that together we can make it! Just then Harry stops and looks into my eyes. In his I see happiness and a promise that everything will be great. We seal this promise with a kiss, in a way it was nothing special just a chaste kiss. But for me it was everything: hope; promises and a sign of admittance, that finally we both admitted what we feel for each other. I look in his eyes and I know he’s telling me that there will be time for physical affection when there won’t be a public. I can’t help the way my eyes dance with excitement; I’ve waited all these years for something like this a couple of hours will be nothing. And one look in his eyes tells me he feels the exact same thing.

With that we finally board the plane excited with what will happen once we arrive at our destination and looking forward to our new life together.

A/N This one-shot is based on the song The Distance by Evan and Jaron. Here are the lyrics:

The sky has lost it's color
The sun has turned to grey
At least that's how it feels to me
Whenever you're away

I crawl up in the corner
As I watch the minutes pass
Each one brings me closer to
The time when you'll be back
You're coming back

I can't take the distance
I can't take the miles
I can't take the time
Until the next time I see you smile

I can't take the distance
And I'm not ashamed
That I can't take a breath without saying your name
I can brave a hurricane
And still be standing tall when all the dust has settled down
But I can't take the distance

I still believe in feelings
But sometimes I feel too much
I make believe you're close to me
But it ain't close enough
Not nearly close enough

I can't take the distance
I can't take the miles
I can't take the time
Until the next time I see you smile

I can't take the distance
And I'm not ashamed
That I can't take a breath without saying your name
I can brave a hurricane
And still be standing tall when all the dust has settled down
But I can't take the distance

Thanks for reading this story, if you can review it too I would be very pleased.

Thanks again.

Marija