1. The Reply

The Reply

By Felicia (aka CurlyCutie)

Dear James

Darling James

Unbelievable James

Mind blowing romantic lover of mine a.k.a. James

I have no clue how I'm to address this letter, because you're all those things and thousands more.

I can't begin to tell you what I'm feeling now. You made me cry you git! I knew you felt that way, but to see it written out it was just a confirmation of what you always said.

I needed that letter so badly, the bath helped too. Thank you

I'm not writing this letter because I feel obligated to reply I'm writing it because you bared your soul to me and the least I can do is expose mine.

// If you only knew

What I feel for you

If you only lived for me

The way I live for you

I'd be in heaven

My dreams would come true//

Do you know I think because of you the saying “persistence pays off” was made?

When you came back though, during the 6^th year, you were different. You were so nice and helpful to everyone at first I thought it was an act.

Maybe it was at first, but I'd peek around corners and see you picking up a first year's books, or breaking up a group of kids surrounding a helpless one.

That's when I knew it wasn't an act.

You said I sounded exasperated when I finally agreed to Hogsmead with you.

Well here's my secret.

I had a tingly feeling in my hands from when you'd brushed yours next to them, I was having trouble breathing, and I had a fluttery feeling in my gut, later when you'd said goodnight.

I ran upstairs and screamed into my pillow, because I was so mad at myself for not saying yes sooner, but I think a lot of the screaming was just pure joy.

The floodgates were opened after that, it was just James, James, James, James……..

You don't know how hard it was for me to try to keep up those walls. I don't know why I didn't trust you. I think now it's that I didn't trust myself when I was around you.

//`Cause all I've ever wanted

Is you

And you alone

And I love you so

More than you could ever know

All I've ever wanted

Is you//

You can take pride in this right now, I'm about to tell you all the compliments I've stored up for years.

Oh God you're the most delicious looking man I've ever seen! You complain about your messy hair but it was just begging for my fingers to run through it! And hazel eyes that always twinkle like you knew a secret. I wanted to know that secret, then drown and lose myself in them! You had and still have a body I could fantasize about for hours…

So yes I do have a shallow side, I just didn't want you to see it too often, but keeping it inside was hard.

You said the background fades when you see me.

I still get hit with jelly legs, and a shortness of breath if I hear your voice, see you run your hand over your hair, or just look at me. That's why when you call me you have to repeat my name to me every now and then.

It's because I'm coaching myself to breathe.

But if you were wondering about the whole Ice Queen phase (yes I did hear the nicknames) that's why.

When you asked me if I remembered I knew what you were talking about right away, I didn't, but I could have guessed.

Ah yes our first kiss……. Not only do you look delicious you taste it too.

Oh wow I can't believe I just said that, I'm so embarrassed.

Oh well might as well continue.

You described how each of your senses was enveloped; I'm going to borrow that because you need to know what you did to me.

You tasted like hot chocolate and peppermint. I still get shivers when I taste that combination. Mmm see you are delicious, then just enveloping my mouth along with all my senses.

You saw a kaleidoscope of colours, I saw a bright light flash of realization that I liked you, wait no more then liked. Then the light shattered almost when they turned into stars.

I could feel your heart rate picking up when I rested my hand on your chest. That made me feel real good.

Lily the goody-two shoes, could make blood pressures rise.

But then again you were turning me into an inferno, feeling strong arms wrapped around me, holding me so tightly. The feeling of hands running through my hair, it was the most intoxicating experience I'd ever felt.

Then when I moved my hands to your hair to hold on from being swept away, I realized how much I loved that hair.

Your aftershave had a heady spice to it; it makes me dizzy and lightheaded still.

That's my explanation for closing my eyes and breathing in so deeply when you've come out of the bathroom from your morning routine.

You sounded like you were savoring a world class dessert, I was the dessert! Your sounds made me feel so dangerously wanted. The only thing I could do was make the same sounds back because I did want you, so badly.

//If you were my own

To caress and hold

I would shower you with love

And drown within your soul

Because I live and breathe for you

And I really need to know //

I always held back because I couldn't be yours until I could have you forever.

You knew that too, when I'd stare at you and almost be saying “MINE!” to everyone else around me who might be interested in you.

Almost every girl tells the same story when they have to tell their most memorable moment in their lives, “Me and so-and-so got married it was wonderful”

I'm not like every girl James, I loved getting married to you, but that was just so everyone could see we were married, in my heart and head we already were.

No, my most memorable moment was when I was yours and you were mine….

When I am yours and you are mine….

The two ideas, past and present seem to merge together in passion and desire that radiates off of us when we're close to each other.

I read somewhere about our bodies having auras, an invisible energy around us, and that when two people are connected so closely the auras merge.

I don't know where I end and you begin end.

I love it when that visibly can be seen when I'm wrapped around you, when I breathe in the same air you're breathing out, being molded against you. I look down see your skin, then my skin, or I think it's mine. We merge; we disappear forming into each other.

I'd never been so overwhelmed with raw desire and passion for just one person. You were like a fire consuming me, when I'd reached one plateau of pleasure you'd send me higher.

You've memorized every inch of me?

I've not only memorized every inch of you, I've memorized every thing I can do to those inches to make you crave after me.

Yes Lily Tiger has a darker side…..

Knowing now that I was your first makes being with you even more precious. I never wanted to believe rumors and when I'd think about it I never did. Thank you for sharing yourself and that piece of information with me

//That all I've ever wanted

Is you

And you alone

And I love you so

More than you could ever know

All I've ever wanted

Is you //

I've gone on saying things that I've always been too shy to say to your face, but I'm not just all about appearances, in fact, I do think that the cheesy sayings of “it's the inside that counts” are very relevant.

You have a beautiful soul James, not only do I love you but as a person I admire you.

Anyone can be brave, but to be gentle and compassionate as well, that's a rare trait that's hard to find in men.

But you are a man among men, who doesn't even compare.

I think you're very wise to sum up all of these thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

I love you

I love you more then I could ever tell you, show you, I wish you could read my mind love, so you could see all you are to me. You wouldn't believe the tales all those thoughts would tell even if you could. James…. I'm at a loss for words…I guess the only thing I can say again and again is I love you.

Oh wow I'm going to cry again….

~~~Love Lily

PS the bath was lovely, warm and very much appreciated. I've drawn another this evening while you were reading the reply to your letter. I'm not only good at charms but I know how to transfigure the tub for two. So get up here right away Potter! That's an order! I'm cold… but hopefully not for long

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