Rage and Mystification by Hake Balms

Rating: NC17
Genres: Drama, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 26/01/2005
Last Updated: 16/02/2005
Status: In Progress

Harry’s 6th year. The wizarding world turns its back on Harry, so Harry decides to turn his
back, too. Harry becomes depressed and suicidal. Well, until a certain Gryffindor girl comes along
and gives him a reason to keep fighting, to keep living. HP/HG. Also, this story is in no way meant
to be cute, comforting, and happy. This story is meant to be a little depressing and dark. Also,
this story is a bit AU!!




1. Depression
-------------

**Rage and Mystification**

**Author’s Note** I do not own the characters, they belong to J. K. Rowling. Please Read and
Review -- whether good or bad- so I know where I stand. Also, this is one of my first fan fictions
ever so, just know that I am still very new at this and that I am not one of the greatest authors
in the world.

**Disclaimer** I don’t own Harry Potter or any of the Harry Potter characters. I just like to
have my own twisted ways with them. : )

**Rated NC-17 for** violence, language, many depressing things, imagery and graphic detail,
and so on

**Summary** Harry’s 6th year. The wizarding world turns its back on Harry, so
Harry decides to turn his back, too. Harry becomes depressed and suicidal. Well, until a certain
Gryffindor girl comes along and gives him a reason to keep fighting, to keep living. HP/HG. Also,
this story is in no way meant to be cute, comforting, and happy. This story is meant to be a little
depressing, dark, and something down right nasty.

Also, bqbqbqbqbqbq means a break.

**bqbqbqbqbqbq**

**Chapter One**

**Depression**

A single nightmare of a single moment that will stay in a young boy’s memory forever. A single
nightmare had woken him up. A single tear rolled down a young boy’s face. A single gasp came from a
young boy. A single shudder went down the young boy’s spine. A single strand of raven hair fell in
front of a young boy’s emerald green eyes. A single feeling was in a young boy’s heart, guilt. A
single thought went though the boy’s mind; *it’s my fault.*

A young boy was sitting on his bed looking out the window wishing that he could become someone
else, anyone else. The young boy was wishing that this life was not his own and that he lived a
happy life where no one felt pain and no one died. But, the young boy knew no matter how hard he
may wish, that his wish would never come true. The young boy was wishing that someone would appear
and take him away. Far away, away from all of the pain that had been claiming him and away from all
of the pain that caused him to feel like he was losing his mind.

He continued to stare up through the window at the twinkling stars. Couldn’t see the stars that
well considering that his glass were not resting on his face but on his nightstand beside his bed.
The young boy reached his hand out and grasped his glass and gently laid them upon his pale
face.

As he looked at the stars, he felt trapped. He felt like he was stuck behind the glass window.
He felt like he was drowning in a pool of darkness and couldn’t seem up come back up to the surface
for air. He felt like the entire world was closing in on him. He felt like everyone blamed him and
in a sense, he couldn’t blame them either. He felt like his whole life meant absolutely
nothing.

The young boy got off of his bed and started to pace around the small room. He wanted to leave,
but he had nowhere to go; besides he knew that he had to stay there at least for one more week.
Then he would be able to escape, he could leave; he could go to his friend’s house for the rest of
the summer.

The young boy sat back down on his bed. He raised his hands up to his face, to cover the tears
that were now streaming down his face. He took in a sharp gasp as he started down the same road he
had been on before. He started to let the memories take over his small yet strong body. His mind
started to wander towards the memories of what had happened just months before at Hogwarts.

He could remember being foolish and going to the ministry and trying to save Sirius. In the end,
all he ended up doing was having Sirius killed. He could remember the look on his godfather’s face
as he fell behind the veil. He could remember Bellatrix Lestrange’s scream. He could remember Lupin
holding him in his arms. He could remember Lupin’s voice telling him that he was gone, that there
was nothing that they could do. The boy’s body started to shake as he took in another deep
gasp.

Why had this all happen to him? Why did he have to feel so much pain? Why did his parents have
to die? Why did all of his friends and loved ones have to suffer because of him? Why did Voldemort
choose him over Neville? Why did his godfather have to die? Why does everyone always doubt him
about everything? Why did he have to be the saviour? Why did *he* have to be the *boy who
lived*? Why did they have to die? Why does everyone have to die? Why can’t anyone love him? Why
does everyone think that it’s his fault Voldemort is back? Why does everyone have to blame him? Why
can’t he just be someone else? Why does he have to feel all of the pain? Why does the pain make him
want to end his life? Why can’t anything ever make him happy anymore? Just why?

“WHY!?!” The young boy yelled out to no one in particular. “WHAT THE FUCK DID I EVER DO TO
YOU!?!? Why does it all happen to me? Why can’t you just fucking leave me alone. WHY!?! Is this
your idea of a sick joke or something? Do you like watching me suffer?” He didn’t understand why.
He never understood why. He probably will never find the real reason why. All he wanted was just to
know why, that’s it; he wanted to know why.

The young boy’s sadness soon turned to rage. He hated Voldemort for what all he had done to
Harry’s life. But he hated himself even more. The young boy truly believed that it was his fault
that so many people had died. *They all died trying to make sure I lived. Why can’t you people
just let me die!! I want to die, I wanna die; I don’t want to be here anymore. I hate it here; all
I ever feel is pain. I need to find an escape; I need to find away to just forget all of the pain.
There’s nothing here for me; so just let me leave.*

The boy stood up and started to pace around the room once again. He wanted to hit something or
to rip something apart; but there was nothing in his room for him to destroy. He sat down in the
middle of his floor, pulled his knees up to his chin, covered his face, and let the angry tears
flood down his cheeks.

*Sirius. Can you hear me!?! I hate you! I hate you for dieing on me! I loved you! You were the
only adult I knew that I could count on! Why did you fucking leave me like this? I wasn’t ready for
you to die! My mum and dad already died! Why did you have to die too? Why did you have to leave me?
Didn’t you love me? Didn’t you care about me?*

*I really need you right now, Sirius. I miss you. I know this is lame, but it’s not fair that
you had to die! Everyone keeps telling me that it’s not my fault, but I know it is. I’m sorry I let
you down. I’m sorry I let everyone down. I’m so sorry I failed you. I’m sorry that I caused you to
die.*

*If I could, I would go back and make sure that you lived. I just wish I could see you once
again. I wish that I could just see you smile once more. I just wish that I could be with you for
one more day. I wish I could have told you how much you meant to me and how much I loved you. I
wish that you were here right now, I feel so empty without you in my life. It’s not fair that you
had to die! It’s not fair because I never had anybody before you, and now you’re gone too. I just
wish that I could have said goodbye. Just so I could have an ending. It’s too late now, because
you’ve already left me. You fucking left me here Sirius! It’s not fair… I’m the one that wanted to
die…I didn’t want you to die!*

The young boy’s body began to shake uncontrollably as he began to cry even harder. He tried to
suppress his crying, for he didn’t want to wake up the Dursleys. The young boy bit down on his lip
to keep himself from gasping out. All he managed to do was to bite down too hard and give himself a
bloody lip.

He didn’t care because he was just trying to keep himself from crying again. He hated crying,
even though he cried a lot lately. Crying made him feel weak, it made him feel like he has no
control over his life, it made him feel like he was undeserving of life. Even though he hated all
of those things, he still couldn’t keep himself from crying over his dead godfather.

Without Sirius, the young boy felt completely alone in the world. Even though he had his two
best friends in the world Ron and Hermione, the young boy still felt alone. He knew that he could
tell his friends anything and that they would try to help him, they would try to understand him,
and try and work around whatever problem it was. But the young boy didn’t think they would be able
to understand what was going through his mind. He didn’t think that they would understand what kind
of depression he was going through; even if they try to understand him they never would be able to
relate.

The young raven-haired boy didn’t want to be trapped in his room anymore; he didn’t want to be
trapped in thoughts of his godfather. He didn’t want to be in there anymore; he needed out and he
needed out now. The boy slowly opened his door; for he didn’t want to wake his aunt or uncle. He
didn’t want any more trouble than what he has already caused. The boy walked down the hall and went
into the bathroom. He closed and locked the door, that way if one of the Dursleys did wake up the
couldn’t bother him. He turned the faucet on, cupped some water in his hands, and splashed it on
his face.

He looked up at the mirror above the bathroom sink. The young boy looked into the mirror and saw
himself. Even though he was looking at himself he knew that he no longer looked like the same old
him. The young boy’s bright green eyes were red and puffy and the colour was dull from the crying,
his lips looked red and swollen, and he looked even paler and sickly than he normally did. He
stared at his pale and sickly reflection for quite some time. Before letting memories of many
people telling him the same thing over and over cross his mind, “You look just like James, expect
you have your mother’s eyes.”

He remembered one person who told him the most about his parents. The one person who knew his
parents best. The one person whom he trusted more than anybody else in the world. The young boy
still wasn’t comfortable about thinking, talking or anything about his godfather.
“Merlin…SIRIUS!!!! I miss you.”

The young boy let out a strangled cry. More tears began to make their marks down his cheeks. His
breathing began to come in ragged pants. He didn’t know what to do his body was begging to grow
dizzy. Harry placed his hands on the bathroom counter top for support. He looked into the mirror
once again. The young boy’s thoughts began to swirl around him as his mind began to get lost inside
of all of his memories.

*I’m sorry I was ever born. I’m sorry that you were made my godfather. I’m sorry that it’s my
fault your best friend had to die. I’m sorry that it’s my fault that you were put in Azkaban. I’m
sorry that everyone that it was your fault, when it was really mine. I’m sorry that people made you
into a bad guy. I’m sorry that I thought you were the reason my parents are dead. I’m sorry that I
made everyone in the Wizarding world hate you. I’m sorry for all of the shit that I have put you
through. I’m sorry that you ever had to meet me. I’m sorry that you ever thought I was a good kid.
I’m sorry that you ever thought that I could be a decent person. I’m sorry that you loved
me.*

*I’m sorry that you got stuck in the black house for a year. I’m sorry that when you did go
outside you had to be a dog. I’m sorry that I literally caused your life to be a hell hole. I’m
sorry that I made you relive memories that you wished that you could have forgot. I’m sorry that no
matter what I did, I messed your life up even more. I’m sorry that I didn’t listen to what you,
Dumbledore, and Snape had to say. I’m sorry that you stayed up worried about me. I’m sorry that I
ever wasted your time with my foolish boyhood problems. I’m sorry that we didn’t have a better
relationship.*

*I’m sorry for all of the pain I have caused you. I’m sorry for all of the shame that I have
brought upon your name. I’m sorry that I caused you to disgrace the Black family name. I’m sorry
that I’m the reason why you had to go into hiding. I’m sorry that I’m the reason why you lost all
of your friends.*

*I’m sorry for making you come to the ministry. I’m sorry that you thought it was your duty to
save my sorry arse. I’m sorry that you died because of my stupidity. I’m sorry because I let myself
love you and care for you. I’m sorry that you loved me more than anyone else I know. Sirius I love
you, and I need you, I miss you, but I can’t have you in my life anymore. Most of all Sirius, I’m
sorry that you ever met me, that you let yourself care for me, when in return I just let you
die.*

*Sirius I know I have done nothing but caused you pain and I‘m truly sorry. I don’t mean be
such a problem to people, I don’t mean to cause so much trouble; it’s just that bad things always
seem to follow me wherever I go. Well, mainly just Voldemort follows me wherever I go. Sirius I
just wish, that you could come back to me just for one day. Just so I could tell you all of this,
so I could have my good-bye, just so I could see you again.*

*I know that you loved me and I love you too. I know that I may not be the best person in the
world, but you always made me feel like I could be the best in the world if I tried. I know that
you’ll never come back and I know that I’ll never really have my goodbye. I know this is late, but
good-bye Sirius.*

The young boy’s hands slipped off of the bathroom counter. He became so dizzy. He felt like he
was just going to fall straight over. The young boy sank down into the floor of the bathroom like a
puddle of water. Tears were matted all over his face, his eyes were red and puffy, and he was
shaking from the sharp gasps of air he was taking. He lay their for a while, trying to get the
thoughts out of his mind. He didn’t want to cry anymore; he had had enough of crying for one night.
He sat up with his back against the bathroom door trying to will his brain back to normal
functioning again.

It didn’t matter how hard he tried; the pain of it all just didn’t seem to go away. He needed it
to go away. The young boy wanted an escape. As he sat there in the bathroom floor trying to come up
with a way to get rid of the pain, something caught his eye. He picked himself off of the ground
and walked over to the object. There it was sitting there in the open medicine cabinet. It was just
so beautiful, the way that it seemed to gleam in the light. The young boy eyed it lustfully before
picking it up and running his fingers over the smooth yet sharp edges.

The boy looked at the item. He raised the sleeve of his left arm up to his shoulder. He put the
object on the underside of his left arm. It felt cold against his skin, but he wanted to forget
about the pain. He brought the object down his arm; causing his skin to rip open and blood begin to
gush out of the open wound. Pain tore through the young boy’s mind as his uncle’s razor ripped
through his skin. The young boy wanted to scream out in pain, but as the burning sensation from his
arm flooded his mind, he forgot about all of his other problems and all of the pain.

Cutting his skin open caused him to realize that he was alive. It helped him know that this
wasn’t some kind of bad dream. Watching the blood run down his arm gave him an odd sort of feeling.
The boy lifted the razor back up to his arm and began to cut himself again and again. He gasp out
with each cut. He felt like he was in ecstasy.

As the blood started to trickle down his arm, the boy felt like he had a new control over his
life and nobody even had to know that he was doing it. He could easily hide it; he could even hide
it with a muggle tee shirt. Little did this boy know that what he had just done would cause him a
whole new world of problems. The great, wonderful, strong, and famous Harry Potter had just cut
himself, had ripped his skin apart; because he felt weak.

To Be Continued…

**Author’s Note :** I am going to try and update this story every Saturday, if possibly.
Anyway, I will see you all next chapter.



2. Just a Letter
----------------

**Rage and Mystification**

**Author’s Note** I will be updating this story every Wednesday Saturday from now on.
Anyways, back to the story.

**Disclaimer** I don’t own Harry Potter or any of the characters. I just like to have my own
twisted ways with them. : )

**Rated NC-17 for** violence, language, many depressing things, imagery and graphic detail,
and so on

**Summary** Harry’s 6th year. The wizarding world turns its back on Harry, so
Harry decides to turn his back, too. Harry becomes depressed and suicidal. Well, until a certain
Gryffindor girl comes along and gives him a reason to keep fighting, to keep living. HP/HG. Also,
this story is in no way meant to be cute, comforting, and happy. This story is meant to be a little
depressing, dark, and something down right nasty.

**WARNING!!!** There will be a little bit of graphic imagery. Also, there is a slight mention
of Ron/Hermione, but even though they are dating, it won’t last…she gets with Harry in a couple of
chapters!!!

**Bqbqbqbqbqbq**

**Chapter 2**

**Just a Letter**

Harry dropped the razor on the floor beside him. He looked down at the blood trickling down his
arm. As he watched the blood trickle down, he noticed that a few droplets of blood appeared on the
Dursley’s cream white tile floor. Harry slowly began to pick himself up off of the cold bathroom
floor. He looked down and couldn’t believe the amount of blood that was on the floor, but at the
same time, he could really care less.

He loved the new feeling that his body was going through, but at the same time he couldn’t
believe what he had just done. As he watched his blood flow out of the wound and down onto his arm,
he felt shame. It just didn’t seem right, but yet he loved the feeling so much he wanted to cut
himself again and again. Just so he could watch the blood run out of his arm.

The more he watched the blood, the more he began to feel. He could actually feel the pain. He
loved it, but at the same time he hated it. Before, he could just pretend that it was all some kind
of horrible nightmare and that eventually he would wake up; but now, now he knew. He knew that it
wasn’t just some dream; he knew that this was his life and there was no getting around it. In
dreams you can get cut and it won’t hurt, but in life it does hurt. He loved being able to feel it,
because now that he knew that it was *real* and that his life was real, he could move on in
life.

He loved it so much because before with the pain, he couldn’t tell where it came from. He knew
that it was an emotion, but he didn’t know whether it came from his head or his heart. But this,
this pain was from his arm. Now, he knew exactly where all of the pain was coming from.

He walked over towards the finely made sink in his aunt and uncle’s bathroom. He turned on the
water and tried to clean his cut. He tried to wash away his blood; he tried to wash away the
evidence of the crime he had committed. He wanted to wash it all away so nobody would know about
his new little pleasure.

Harry tried and tried to wash away his blood, to wash away his new little sins. But it just
didn’t matter, the harder he tried to clean it up the cut or to cover the cut, it just bled more.
Finally, after a few minutes of trying to clean himself up he just gave up. He looked through the
medicine cabinet until he found what he was looking for. He wrapped the bandage around his wound
until he thought that it was sufficient enough.

He slowly opened the door to the bathroom and began to sneak out. He had to be extremely quite,
for he did have to pass his cousin’s room in order to get to his own. Harry was half way there when
he heard a noise. He didn’t know what it was from but it did sound an awful like Dudley talking in
his sleep. Once he passed Dudley’s room he was safe and quickly and quietly went back to his
bedroom.

As Harry entered his room he grabbed his white tee shirt, that was now stained with blood, and
tore it off, leaving it and his pants in a little pile in the centre of the room. Harry had felt
very tired, but he didn’t want to go to sleep. He was afraid. He wasn’t afraid of the dark or
anything, but he was afraid of the nightmares he had while he slept.

One more nightmare of Sirius dieing or one more nightmare about what Voldemort was going to and
Harry thought he just might lose his mind. He was tired of the nightmares; he was tired of watching
Sirius and Cedric die over and over. He was tired of watching the sick things that Voldemort did to
people. Harry took his glasses off and laid them on the bedside table and then proceeded to lay
himself down onto his bed.

He started to stare out of his bedroom window; he couldn’t really make out any objects since his
glasses were no longer on his face. None the less, he stared out the window trying to make out the
shapes of the other houses, the streetlights, trees, and stars. Longer he stared at an object the
odder the object started to look. Longer he looked out the window the heavier his eyelids
became.

Finally Harry decided that it didn’t matter how bad the nightmares may be, he needed to sleep.
As long as he at least got one hour of sleep, the nightmare would be worth it. The young boy rolled
over in his bed and started to drift off to sleep, when he heard a clicking noise on the
window.

When he turned around to look at what it was, it looked like an owl; like Ron’s owl, Pig. Harry
jumped out of bed put his glasses on and pulled the window open, letting Pig into his room. The
little owl flew a lap around Harry’s room before he dropped the letter in Harry’s lap then laid
himself down on Harry’s desk.

Harry desperately ripped the letter open, he was hoping that it would be Ron’s letter saying
that they were coming to take him out of this place, away from Little Whinging, to take him away
from his aunt and uncle‘s house. But what was on the inside of this letter was nothing that Harry
could have suspected.

*Harry,*

*I hate to have to tell you like this mate, but I’m sorry. You can’t come out to the burrow
this summer. Mum and Dad said that ‘we just have too many things going on.’ I don’t know what my
mum and dad are on about; they’ve been acting well, strange. Mum said that as soon as ‘Mione gets
her she’ll explain everything to me and her about what’s going on.*

*Well they’ve been acting strange ever since Percy came back to the family saying how sorry he
is. And how he can now see the errors of his ways. He keeps going on and on about how Fudge said
that if he put as much distance between you and us that would be the best thing to do. That it
would be in the best interest of everyone.*

*It’s a load of crap if you ask me, but mum is buying; and dad doesn’t dare cross her. Mom has
always believed Percy over the rest of us, even when he did go against the family. Mom just said
that he was growing up and trying to find out who he is and where he belongs and crap like that. I
can’t stand her when it comes to him and I can’t ever stand that bloody bastard.*

*I personally believe that he’s got something up his sleeve. It wouldn’t surprise me one bit
if he was just trying to brainwash us all and get us to follow Voldemort. He’s always been the
slimy one of the family. Fred and George, now they are tricky, but they aren’t two-timers like
Percy.*

*I know that you were really looking forward to coming out, but you can’t. I really want you
to, I mean, I don’t really want you staying out there at the Dursley’s. Well, especially after
well, you know. I’m going to miss having you around Harry. I really wish mum and dad would let you
come out here, but I don’t know. I hope the Muggles aren’t treating you too badly. I wish you could
be here. If you can, write back sometime. It would be nice getting an owl from you!*

*Ron*

*p.s. Guess What!!! It finally happened!! Me and ‘Mione are well, you know, together!! See you
on September the 1st. Oh yeah, by the way, Happy Early Birthday!! I don’t think I’ll get
another chance to tell you, so I might as well now.*

Harry dropped the letter in confusion. He couldn’t understand what Ron had meant. *What did
they mean by ‘we just have too many things going on?’ What in the fuck could they possibly be doing
that’s so important? There’s nothing that they could be doing, they don’t have the money to do
anything. There is obviously something that Ron isn’t telling me. There has to be
something.*

The whole summer he had been looking forward to getting out of this hellhole and now he finds
out that he *has* to stay here. He knew that Dumbledore wanted him to stay out at his aunt and
uncle’s house for at least 3 weeks, but not for the whole summer. Surely someone, anyone would soon
come and get him out of here.

Harry fell numbly to the floor. His world started to spin in rage and mystification. Harry was
mad at the world; he hated everyone. It wasn’t fair that he had to stay here. He clenched his hands
into fists. He needed another release for his anger. He couldn’t control himself. He picked himself
up off of the floor. He was pacing across the room. He *needed* to hit something.

For a brief moment, Harry thought of returning to the bathroom and using his uncle’s razor
again. But he quickly shoved that thought out of his mind. His arm was still bleeding from the last
cut. He needed another release; he needed something else to help him ease the pain.

Thoughts of anger were all that was crossing Harry’s mind. The only thing Harry wanted was to
get the fuck out of his aunt and uncle’s, but no, now he is stuck here for the rest of the
summer.

Harry walked over towards the wall of his bedroom. He punched the wall as hard as he could. Pain
shot through his arm. But the pain of what he had just done was worse. When he looked down at the
wall he noticed something, something very bad. He had just made a gaping hold in the wall. He
didn‘t mean to shove his hand through the wall.

“Fuck.” Harry said, trying to think of something to do, so that the Durleys wouldn’t find
it.

Harry quickly grabbed one of the calendars on his desk and tacked it to the wall. It didn’t
really hide it, but it was good enough. He didn’t care if they found out or not anymore. They still
locked him up, they still beat him, and they still ignored him, anyway. What else could they
possibly do? Ground him? *Right, they wouldn’t even bother saying it to me; it would be a waste
of their breath.*

Harry walked back over to his bed, trying to calm himself down. The young boy tried to take deep
breaths. He tried to become more relaxed, but it just didn’t work. He laid himself down on his bed;
he looked up at the white ceiling, unseeing.

*What is going on? Why doesn’t anyone want to help me out of here? Why hasn’t Hermione,
Hagrid, Lupin, or even Dumbledore sent him even just one owl? I need to know what’s going on out
there. I need to know what is up with Voldemort. I need out of this house. I want to be back in the
wizarding world, no I need to be back in the wizarding world.*

*I can’t just sit around here. I need to do something. I need to help. I can help the order. I
can tell them the kind of dreams I’ve had. I can do anything besides sit here. They could use my
help. I just wish that they would let me help. What is going on out at the Weasley’s? Hermione told
me that she didn’t even like Ron, now she’s dating him. That’s odd. Maybe something happened
between them. It’s not fair, why does he get the girl?*

Harry still staring up at his ceiling grabbed his pillow and tried to smother himself with it.
He took the pillow off of his face and laid his head back down on to it. He rolled over wanting to
go to sleep, wanting to just lose himself in the dream, wanting to just disappear off the face of
the Earth.

Harry was starting to drift off to sleep. When the next thing Harry saw was a flash of green
light and he was being jerked out of his bed. He felt like he was going through a portkey. He
landed with a loud and hard smack onto the floor into an unfamiliar room. As he got up and looked
around he felt sick to his stomach.

The room, he could tell that it used to be white, but it wasn’t anymore. The room was both red
and brown. It was brown because of all of the dried blood stains all over the room. It was red from
the fresh blood stains rolling down the walls.

Around the room, were...were bodies. Bodies chained to the wall, bodies chained the floor, and
even bodies chained upside down. Some of them looked as though they were alive and others, well
others looked as though they had been chained there for years. As he looked at them he noticed that
most of them were men, some were women, and there were even a few children.

Harry saw a few men wearing complete black. The men dressed in black were holding whips and
chains, and all different sorts of torture items. The men dressed in black walked over to a few of
the men chained to the wall. Harry watched one of the men with the whips walk over to a man and
take a whip and slam it against his back.

Some of the men that were chained to the wall had their backs facing Harry. Harry could see
their shoulder blades sticking out through the skin. He guessed that was probably from getting beat
with the whips. Harry saw that others were missing legs and arms. And the blood, it was
just…everywhere.

Another one of the men walked to a man chained to the floor. He held a wand in front of the
man’s face. Harry watched the man on the floor pick up a knife and start cutting himself. Harry
watched the man peel away his own skin. Harry watched the man have to try and eat his own skin.
Harry turned away, he felt sick to his stomach.

It took a while for Harry to notice a black chair in the centre of the room. In front of the
chair was a desk covered in papers. The chair and the desk looked very out of place, considering
they were the only things in the room that weren’t covered in blood.

There was a knock on the door and Harry snapped his neck towards the door, but heard the chair
move so he turned to look at the person sitting in the chair. The man in the black chair turned
around, was Voldemort. Two more men walked into the room carrying another man, well dragging
another man. They were carrying him as if he was a hostage.

“Ah, Mister Malfoy and Mister Snape, I was hoping you two would be by soon.” Voldemort’s cold
voice said into the room.

To Be Continued…

**Author’s Note:** Yes, yes, I know…Ron and ‘Mione… just wait, that doesn’t last too long and
when it’s over…**HARRY/ HERMIONE!!!** Please, Please review… wait, why am I begging like a dog?
Never mind don’t review unless you really want to! : ) Again, this story will be posted every
Wednesday and Saturday! See ya next chapter!!



3. Punishment
-------------

**Rage and Mystification**

**Author’s Note:** Thank you to those who reviewed!!! Again, thank you.

**Thank You:** To my two very best friends in the whole….opps I mean my two beta readers KG_
Potter and Keyan Rews! I love you guys!

**bqbqbqbqbqbq**

**Chapter Three**

**Punishment**

“Ah, Mister Malfoy and Mister Snape, I was hoping you two would be by soon.” Voldemort’s cold
voice spoke out into the room. Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape walked further into the room,
dragging a body behind them.

“Is this?” Voldemort started to say but cut off. Lucius nodded his head in reply. “Bring him to
me.”

Severus and Lucius both dragged the person up to Voldemort. Voldemort’s hand slipped out behind
his black cloak. He pulled back the young man’s cloak, revealing his face. Voldemort’s cold fingers
ran down the young boy’s jaw line. The boy flinched away from Voldemort’s touch.

Voldemort grabbed the young man’s chin and tilted it towards him. When he moved the young boy’s
face, Harry got a clear view of who it was. Voldemort’s icy stare returned back to Lucius. “You
should really teach your son how to act properly Lucius. Some might take his actions in a negative
manor.” Voldemort’s cold voice harped out.

Lucius nodded his head at his lord. Seeing that Lucius agreed, Voldemort returned his gaze back
at the young man in front of him, who had now fallen onto his knees. He tipped Draco’s chin back
up. Draco hesitantly looked up into Voldemort’s eyes.

“Did you really think I would let you get away with what you’ve done? Did you actually think I
wouldn’t find out? Did you honestly think I was going to let you go to the other side? Do you
honestly think I would let such a precious young man leave my ranks to join the Order?” When Draco
didn’t answer Voldemort kept on, “You know, you are a very beautiful young man. It is a pity really
that such beauty has to go to waste. Too bad that you want to go against me. I still can’t believe
that you of all people would dare to defy me. I bet your father is ashamed of how you’ve turned
out. I know I would if I had *you* for a son.”

“Then again,” Voldemort started turning his gaze up to Lucius, “you can’t blame yourself for how
this filth has turned out. I know that it must be truly embarrassing having him for a son. If I
were you, I would see if I could get him *removed* from the family. I know that he is still
your son, Lucius; but now he is nothing but filth. You did your best. Sometimes there is just a bad
apple.” Voldemort looked back down at Draco and dropped his chin causing Draco to fall to the
floor. “Too bad that that apple had to be you.”

Voldemort stepped away from the mess that was lying in the floor. He reached for some item in
his robes. He wrapped his pale, cold fingers around the object. He slowly brought it out and let
Draco have a good look at what he was holding. Draco’s eyes suddenly flashed with fear. He looked
up at his father, but his father showed him no emotion what so ever. He looked up to Severus; his
eyes were pleading for someone to help him. His eyes began to water; he needed someone to help him.
He needed someone to take pity on him and take him far away from Voldemort. But no on in that room
was about to help him.

Draco’s eyes returned to the man dressed in black robes that stood before him. Draco shut his
eyes he didn’t want to see what Voldemort was about to do with him. Voldemort laughed at the boy’s
innocence. “You know the punishments of your actions Mr. Malfoy. It is now time that you serve
those punishments.” Voldemort said before raising his wand and pointing it down at Draco and
screaming out, “CRUCIO!!”

Draco’s young form immediately started to shake uncontrollably. You could see in his eyes that
he was trying not to scream as the pain ripped through his body. Tears started to swell up in his
eyes and Voldemort just began to laugh at the boy’s attempt not to cry. Voldemort’s eyes flashed an
odd colour of red as they were filled with pure hatred. Draco couldn’t suppress his screams any
longer. He could feel his throat become raw and bloody from the screams.

As Harry watched the scene before him, he became sick. He watched Draco’s body twitch around.
Draco’s skin started to rip open. Blood started to gush out of Draco’s newly opened wounds. Harry
could hear a sickening cracking and saw Draco’s leg go limp. His head bucked against the floor and
cracked open. More screams erupted into the bloody room.

Screams echoed through the Dursley’s house on Privet Drive. Harry woke up panting and sweating
and crying. *It was all just a dream. It was just a dream. It wasn’t real.* Harry’s mind
started to chant before he snapped back to reality. *Wait, but last year Arthur Weasley was
attacked and I saw it through a dream. Then, oh no, no, no. Draco. I’ve got to help him!! How? I’ve
got to tell Dumbledore or Lupin or anyone. Wait, why was Snape helping him? He’s supposed to be on
our side! He’s in the order and everything!!! He’s really helping Voldemort not us!!*

Harry grabbed his glasses off of his table and put them on. He looked over towards Hedwig’s
cage. She still hadn’t return. *I’ve let her out three days ago and she has yet to return. Where
could she be? Well, there is absolutely no way that I can get in touch with Dumbledore or anyone
now.*

After a few minutes of trying to recollect himself and calm down his breathing, Harry could
faintly hear someone screaming at him. “BOY!!! Get up and come down stairs!!” Vernon Dursley’s
voice echoed through the house.

Harry relentlessly got out of his bed, put on some pants and headed down the stairs. He didn’t
bother getting fully dressed, as long as he had on his pants the Dursleys couldn't care less.
Besides, it’s not like they ever noticed Harry anyway. He was just decoration, some slave, some
piece of trash. Harry quietly took his seat at the table and looked down at the meal in front of
him. Toast. *Oh joy!! Just what I’ve always wanted!! A piece of fucking toast!!*

Harry bitterly ate his toast and pretended to be grateful. He hated how all of them had to go on
the diet, when it was only Dudley who needed to lose the weight. If anything, Harry needed to gain
some weight, not lose any more weight. Harry sat and watched the Dursleys and they pretended not to
notice him staring at them.

Dudley had lost *some* weight, but only enough to fit back into his Smeltings uniform. He
couldn’t help but agree to what some of Dudley’s classmates had been calling him, Moby Dick. His
uncle looked the same as always. He was still beefy with no neck and a large moustache. There was
something different about his uncle that Harry couldn’t point out; but nevertheless it was still
there, what ever *it* was. His aunt was still the same also, although time was finally taking
its toll on her.

He watched his cousin and his uncle eat their breakfast and have small talk with one another.
Out of the corner of his eye he could see his aunt folding the laundry. His uncle started to hoot
with laughter and shout out “That’s my boy!” After obviously hearing one of Dudley’s stories about
beating someone up.

*If only if he knew the truth. Dudley’s not beating up people half his size. Well, then again,
it depends on how you look at it. They are **half** his size. Not to mention that they are all
about 10 years old too. It’s pathetic. He’s pathetic. They are all pathetic.*

Harry saw his aunt pick up the freshly folded laundry and leave the room. After a few moments of
Harry sitting there watching his uncle and cousin, and listening to another one of his cousin
Dudley’s stories he heard a scream coming from upstairs. The scream belonged to his aunt.

“VERNON!!! COME!!! COME HERE!!! AND BRING THAT BOY!!!!”

Harry instantly knew what had happened. She had found it. She had found the hole he had punched
into the wall. The next thing Harry knew his uncle had grabbed his hair and was jerking him up the
stairs. “Whatever you’ve done now boy you’re going to pay.” His uncle was muttering something to
himself as he drug Harry into his room.

“Look Vernon!! Just look at what *it* had done.”

Harry hated it when they referred to him as boy or it or freak. He preferred the name his
parents had given him, Harry. He wasn’t about to mention this to the Dursleys, especially not at
this moment. They already looked heated enough.

“What in the devil were you thinking when you did this?” His uncle screamed in his face. Harry
backed himself up against the wall trying to avoid his uncle’s rage. Harry truly felt scared of his
uncle.

Vernon turned back to his wife and gently began to rub her arm. “Don’t worry Petunia darling.
Just leave the freak to me. I’ll make sure that he gets his punishment.” His uncle said to his wife
trying to calm her.

She started to walk out the room when she turned her head around and shot a nasty glare at
Harry. He could hear his uncle walking towards him and knew that whatever he was going to do it was
either going to hurt and be painful or it will be painful and hurt. His uncle grabbed his hair and
ripped him up.

“Do you think that this is funny boy? Do you think it is funny to damage others property.” His
uncle began to snarl at him. When Harry didn’t answer his uncle shoved him against the wall and
shouted in his face, “WELL DO YOU??”

Harry knew better than to answer, his uncle much more preferred to stand there and yell at him.
Telling him that something was wrong with him and how it’s just not normal the way he response to
people. But Harry just didn’t feel like that today, he just wanted to see his uncle tick. He liked
to watch his uncle nearly lose his mind. So Harry answered, “No sir. Not at all funny or
amusing.”

“Oh, so you’re going to mock me now?”

“Me mock you, *never.*”

“That is it boy.” He stated before he started hitting Harry across the face.

Harry stood up; he was confused but he was angrier. By the time Harry completely stood up again
he was knocked back down. He felt a sharp pain in his stomach again and again. When he looked to
see what it was that was causing all of the pain, he saw his uncle’s foot coming into contact with
it.

Harry felt his hair being jerked on once again. Harry was wearily put back up on his feet. His
uncle took yet another swing at him. This time his uncle's fist came into contact with his eye.
Harry swung back with all of his might hitting his uncle’s jaw. He could hear it make a sickening
popping sound. He didn’t care; all he cared about was trying to get away from his uncle.

Harry felt himself being shoved up against a wall. He felt someone grab onto his hair and beat
his head into the wall. He felt weak. Blackness was beginning to swirl around his world. Harry
liked the blackness; he wanted to go towards it. He wanted to lose himself in it. He felt like he
was slipping away; the blackness was slowly starting to go away. Like he couldn’t hold on to it
anymore.

His uncle had let go of him and he fell to the floor. He was too weak to stand on his own. His
legs just wouldn’t support him. Harry could feel his uncle grip his hair once again and pulled him
on to his feet. This time instead of hitting him he took him to the bathroom. Harry was thrown into
the bathroom like a person would throw a piece of trash away.

Harry could feel his head come into contact with something and saw that it was the corner to the
sink. He could hear his uncle walk off and he felt glorious that his uncle was going to leave him
alone. He didn’t know how, but some how he had managed to escape. He had gotten away.

Too late, he had gotten too excited too early and too fast. He could hear his uncle making his
way back towards the bathroom; the bathroom in which Harry laid halfway unconscious.

He looked up and saw his uncle with a bucket of something that made the room have an awful
stench and it also made Harry’s world seem to go a little darker. The smell was toxic; it made him
feel as if he smelled that for one more minute he would die. Harry suddenly understood that that
was his uncle’s exactly intention.

“Now you’ll stay in here and clean up every inch of this bathroom. Do you hear me? I want this
room to sparkle. You’ll not get a meal until this room is clean and you’ll not leave this room
either. Do I make myself clear?” His uncle sneered at him.

Harry looked up at his uncle and slowly nodded his head. His uncle turned around slammed the
door shut and left. Harry could hear the beefy man walk down the hall and finally down the stairs.
The smell of contents in the bucket was already affecting him. Just the smell alone made him want
to pass out. But he couldn’t. He had work to do.

Harry slowly began to clean the bathroom, only every once in awhile his vision would start to
fad in and out. Harry accidentally spilled some of the contents of the bucket on his arms and
chest. It began to eat away at his skin, it burned extremely badly. He then wished that he had put
on a shirt. He even felt like passing out in the bathroom. He knew that he couldn’t, if he did it
was likely that he would die. And he was not about to let the Dursleys have that kind of
satisfaction.

Harry heard a knock on the door. At first he thought that he must have been imaging it, but then
the door handle started to turn. When the door opened, it reviled Mobby Dick aka Dudley Dursley.
Dudley stared down Harry and gave him an odd look.

“God that stuff stinks. How can you say in here with that? What happened to your face?” Dudley
started to question him. Harry didn’t answer; he figured that if he did he would probably get hit
again. “*Harry,* what happened?” Dudley questioned again.

Harry was shocked; they hardly ever called him Harry. Especially Dudley. Harry tried to ignore
him and started to clean the bathroom once again.

“*Harry.* What is wrong with you?” Dudley asked. Harry thought that Dudley must have lost
his mind; Dudley never talks to him. Most of the time he’s scared to death of him. When Harry
didn’t say anything this time Dudley walked further into the bathroom and shut the door behind him.
“Why won’t you talk? I’m not going to hit you or anything. I just want to know.”

By that time Harry was in complete rage. What did Dudley think happen? He fell down the stairs
or something? “Merlin. What do you think happened? You think I fell or something? This was no
accident.”

“What do you mean ‘this was no accident?’”

“Your father.”

“What? My dad wouldn’t do something like that.”

“Well, it sure isn’t the first time that he’s ever done it.” Harry snapped at him.

Dudley took a minute to think before he said, “Well at least he isn’t a queer.”

“A queer? What? Do you think I’m gay?”

“Yes, I mean, well last year I could hear you in your room moaning out Cedric. So far this year
it’s been Sirius. Well, until last night. Last night you were moaning out Draco. What am I supposed
to think?”

“I don’t know what you’re supposed to think Dudley. Even if I was gay, that’s not why you’ve
heard me moaning out.”

“Oh *really.* Why else would you be moaning out in the middle of the night? Why else would
you be saying their names if the weren’t your lovers?”

This just pushed Harry over the edge. *How dare he talk about them like that.* “No Dudley
they weren’t my lovers. Cedric and Sirius were murdered!!! You would think that if you had to watch
someone be murdered that you might have some nightmares about it. How would you like every time you
close your eyes you saw the only person who cared for you die!! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF YOUR
GODFATHER WAS MURDERED RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES!?!?!”

“Well yours deserved it. He was a murder.”

“No he wasn’t. He never did it. Someone else killed them.”

“What about Draco? Huh, you never said anything about him dieing?”

“That’s because he isn’t dead, yet.”

“Then why were you saying his name?”

“Because, Dudley, last night I had to watch him be tortured.”

“Well why do you dream about those things? Can’t you just dream about something else?”

“No Dudley I can’t. I have no control over what I dream. All I can do is dream. Sometimes I have
good dreams, but most the time they are just nightmares. Nightmares of stuff that I know you could
never even imagine.”

“Well you would think that there would be something that *you* could do. I mean with
magic.”

“Dudley just shut up and go away. I don’t even know why your in hear. Just go away.”

Dudley opened the door and started to walk back out of the bathroom but then he turned back
around, “I still think you are a queer.” And then he opened the door and began to walk out.

But before he shut the door back Harry shouted at him, “SO WHAT IF I AM A QUEER!!! WHAT IN THE
FUCKING HELL DOES IT MATTER TO YOU!!! OH!!! I UNDERSTAND NOW!! YOU JUST WISH I WAS GAY SO YOU COULD
HAVE A SHOT AT ME. WELL GUESS WHAT FATASS EVEN THEN PIECE OF MEAT WOULDN‘T FUCKING TOUCH YOU‘RE
ASS!”

Dudley slammed the door shut. Harry could hear Dudley walk back downstairs. Harry knew what he
had done was a mistake, but at the same time, he would do it again and again. A few minutes later
he could hear someone walking back up the stairs. The bathroom suddenly flew open. There in the
doorway was a red faced Vernon Dursley.

“What were you thinking, boy??? Calling *MY* SON A QUEER!!!”

Harry saw his uncle slam the door behind him. He then knew that he was definitely going to be in
trouble now. Harry could feel his hair being jerk up. Once he had stood up his uncle shoved him up
against the wall. His uncle grabbed his hair and rammed his head into the wall. Harry felt dizzy
and couldn’t hold himself up any longer; he fell to the floor on his stomach.

Harry could hear something behind him. It sounded faintly like someone removing a belt from
their jeans. Harry’s mind was screaming for him to get up and run away, but Harry’s body just
wasn’t strong enough to get up off of the floor. Harry felt his uncle’s belt come into contact with
the skin on his back.

Harry’s breaths were now coming in ragged pants. He was terrified of what his uncle was doing.
Harry was in shock, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t yell out for help, all he could do is lay there.
All he wanted to do was to scream out for help, but his voice just wouldn’t yell out. Harry finally
managed to scream out, but it was too late.

Tears started to swell up in Harry’s eyes. Harry felt his uncle grab on to his hair and shoved
his head down onto the cold tile floor. Tears were now pouring out of Harry’s eyes. He couldn’t
help himself; the pain he was feeling was just too much. Harry could feel his uncle grab his hair
once again. He shoved Harry’s head down onto the floor.

Pain shot through Harry’s body as his head came into contact with the floor. His vision blurred
and everything started to grow darker. The last thing Harry saw was his uncle walking back out of
the bathroom. He could hear his uncle saying something that sounded like “punishment.” Then
everything went black and Harry knew that he had passed out.

To Be Continued…

**Author’s Note:** Well here’s this weeks dose of Rage and Mystification!! Please, please
review!!! I’ll update Saturday!! See-ya!



4. The Escape
-------------

**Author’s Note:** I want to thank all of the people who have reviewed. It just makes me feel
all bubbly when I see that I’ve got a new review! I also want to thank my two best friends who also
happen to be my beta readers, Kg Potter and Keyan Rews. THANKS GUYS!!

**Chapter 4**

**The Escape**

Harry woke up panting; he had had another nightmare about his uncle. As Harry laid in his bed he
was caught in a conflict. One side he knew he needed to get out of his bed so he could go to the
bathroom; the other side was all he wanted to do was just roll over and let his dreams claim him
once again.

Harry’s fight to go back to sleep was short lived. The pain in his bladder was beginning to
become extremely painful. Harry jumped out of bed, grabbed a pair of sleep pants and ran down the
hall to the bathroom. After he exited the bathroom he could hear a heated argument between his aunt
and uncle.

“Vernon, you really need to come! Dudley is counting on you!”

“Well, I can’t leave the boy alone here! He’ll tear the place down. You saw what he did to the
wall!”

“We can just bring him then.”

“Oh, so he can completely ruin Dudley’s trip. I think not!”

“Vernon! You have to be there!”

“DUDLEY!!!” Harry watched his fat cousin run out of his room. Dudley knocked Harry over before
running down the stairs to his father. “You don’t *need* me to come watch you box. I already
*know* that you’re going to win. So you wouldn’t mind if I missed this one match would
you?”

“But father.” Harry could hear Dudley start; he knew that Dudley wasn’t going to give up this
easy. *Dudley would probably only want me around so he could use me for practice.*

“Well I can’t very well leave *him* here alone. So that’s it, I’m staying and you two can
go. Conversation over! After breakfast I want you two to pack your bags and be going. I don‘t want
you to miss the train.”

After a few minutes of Harry staying upstairs, so he could make sure the argument was over; he
walked downstairs and into the kitchen. Harry slowly started to sit down; his body still hurt him
greatly. When Harry took his seat at the table he received a nasty glare from his cousin. Harry’s
uncle started to rattle off to Harry how Dudley and Petunia would be going on a one week trip for
Dudley’s boxing match. He didn’t really pay too much attention; he had already heard the whole
argument.

When breakfast was over, Harry started on the dishes while his aunt and cousin went upstairs to
pack. Harry could hear someone walking up behind him. He tried to ignore the sound but he knew he
couldn’t. Harry’s body went stiff when he felt his uncle’s breath against the back of his neck.

Harry dropped the plate that he was washing when he felt his uncle grab his crotch. Harry gasped
out from the pain. Harry could feel his uncle lean in towards him and whisper into his ear, “Why
don’t you go ahead and scream for you aunt. She’ll make me stop. I know you want it to stop. Why
don’t you scream… I know you want your dear old uncle to stop beating you. Now all you have to do
is just scream out.”

Harry knew that his uncle was just playing with his mind. His uncle knew that Harry wanted it to
stop more than anything in the world. But Harry also knew that if he screamed out he was going to
get it worse the next time.

Harry picked up another dirty plate out of the sink and tried to continue to wash the dishes. He
was trying to ignore the other man who was pressed up against him. “Oh, so you’re a mute now, eh?”
His uncle taunted as he flashed a knife in front of Harry’s eyes. His uncle started to rub the
knife against Harry. Harry bit his bottom lip trying not to scream out for help. A tear rolled down
his cheek from rage and frustration.

He continued to try and wash the dishes but failed miserably. Vernon grabbed the dish out of
Harry’s hand and put in back into the sink. He grabbed Harry’s hair and jerked Harry’s head back.
His uncle pressed his lips against Harry’s ear and whisper to him, “You best watch yourself, boy.
When they are gone nobody will be able to hear you scream. Nobody will be able to save you
then.”

Harry felt himself being grabbed and shoved out of the kitchen. Harry’s head busted against the
corner of the table in the entryway, causing his glasses to shatter. The glass from the lens made a
gash above his left eye. He then landed on the ground hard. He had gotten a mouth full of carpet
and several carpet burns. Harry looked up at his uncle but his vision blurred as the blood from his
cut started to trickle down into his eyes.

He heard his uncle whisper harshly at him, “Go upstairs and get Dudley’s and Petunia’s bags.”
Harry looked, well, tried to look at his uncle in disbelief. “NOW!!”

Vernon gave him a hard kick into his side; Harry scrambled to get up. He tripped over himself as
he attempted to run up the stairs. Harry wiped the cut off with the back of his hand, only causing
the blood to smear even more across his face. Harry walked by Dudley’s room and continued down the
hall to the master bedroom.

The door was already open so he walked in. Aunt Petunia’s suitcase was sitting on the bed. Harry
walked over to the bed and grabbed the suitcase. He heard a noise behind him; he turned around and
there was his aunt. When she looked at Harry her mouth fell open and a stifled sound came out.

**bqbqbqbqbqbq**

Petunia Dursley was upstairs in the master bedroom of her home packing. She was furious with her
husband. *He’s been acting so strangely. He has never missed any of Dudley’s matches. I just
can’t believe that he’s not coming. This just doesn’t seem like him. He has been acting so odd
since the day Harry punched a hole into the wall. I guess he figures that Harry will do something
again. I don’t blame him; Harry has been and never will be anything but trouble.*

As she was putting a few dresses into her suitcases she heard one of her plates fall and crash.
*That damned boy. He has no respect for anything. Always tearing our stuff up. He has been
nothing but a burden for my family and me. Why did Dumbledore **have** to put him here of all
places? Couldn’t he have gone to live with that murdering godfather of his? Sometime I wish he had
died along with his parents. No, wait, I don’t wish that. The poor boy has suffered enough without
me wishing him dead.*

Petunia put the last few items that she had into her suitcase and zipped it up. She heard a loud
thud coming from down stairs shortly followed by a strangled cry. She tried to ignore it; she just
figured that Harry must have tripped and fallen. Petunia walked into her private bathroom to check
her makeup once again before heading out of the house. She heard someone enter her room so she
walked out.

She saw the back of Harry holding her suitcase. The boy turned around and she let out a startled
cry. Harry just looked so…so awful. Harry’s eyes were red from the tears, he had blood smeared
across his face, he had a huge gash on his forehead, it looked as though he had bitten his lip to
hard for it was bleeding too, brusies were starting to take form on Harry’s arms and stomach, his
right eye looked like it had been blackened, it looked as though he had a few carpet burns on his
body.

Petunia had never seen anyone look so battered before. She couldn’t have imagined what had
happened to the boy. Petunia walked over towards him she raised her hand to touch Harry’s face. He
flinched away; he was scared of her touch. *Why is he so frightened of me? What happened to him?
Why does it look like he has been crying or something?*

“Harry…”she began to say. “Harry, what happened to you?” She tried to ask as gently as she
could.

Harry didn’t answer her. He picked her suitcase up once again and walked out of the room. He
walked down the hallway to Dudley’s room. Harry took a deep breath before knocking on his door.
Slowly, he opened the door and entered. Dudley gave him an odd look before nodding towards his
packed clothing. He grabbed Dudley’s suitcases and walked back out of his room.

He walked down the stairs and out of the house. Harry put the suitcases into the trunk of the
car and went back into the house. When Harry entered his uncle gave him a nasty look. Harry walked
up the stairs and went into his room. He laid down onto his bed. When he raised his head up off of
the pillow he noticed that his head was still bleeding.

The raven-haired boy picked himself up off of the bed. Harry was about to go to the bathroom to
clean himself up when he heard his uncle yelling his name. He turned around and started to walk
back down the stairs. He came face to face with the Dursleys.

“Now, I don’t want you to tear anything up while I drive them to King’s Cross. I should be back
soon.” His uncle warned him.

They walked out of the house and slammed the door into Harry’s face. Harry looked out the window
at them. They were all smiling and for some reason Dudley was laughing. He watched them get into
the car and drive away. Harry returned back upstairs and went into the bathroom. He washed his
face, attempting to cleanse the blood.

Harry looked up at the medicine cabinet. He knew that this would probably be the only chance he
had. He opened the cabinet. He searched through it until he found a familiar item. His fingers
twisted around the object. Harry brought the familiar cold object to his pale skin before letting
it rip through the pale flesh on his arm. Harry figured that nobody would notice it; it blended
right in with all of the other cuts and bruises.

A sharp gasp interrupted into the room. Harry’s whole body shook from the pain. But the pain was
good pain; it was controllable pain. It was Harry’s option on whether he got to feel this type of
pain. No one else could change this. Not one person could make Harry stop it or do it. It was his
choice. He had control over at least one thing in his life and this was it.

Soon after cutting himself, Harry walked back into his room. He laid himself down onto his bed.
He laid his head upon the blood stained pillow. Harry shut his eyes, trying to wish away his life.
Harry laid there not wanting to move. He hoped that he could die, that he could fly away from this
life.

Harry started to drift off to slumber land when he heard a car pull up into the driveway. Harry
crushed his eyes shut hoping that he was imaging the sound of a car. He heard the sound of a car
door slam. Harry bit down onto his lips. He hoped that if he focused on it not being real then
maybe it wouldn’t be real.

Harry heard the sound of the front door opening. His body began to shake uncontrollably; he was
frightened. He was wishing that his mind could at least escape even if he couldn’t. Harry heard the
sound of footsteps coming up the stairs. He began to take in sharp gasps. Harry was trying so hard
just to make it all seem like a dream even though he knew it wasn’t.

Harry heard the sound of his door opening. Harry bit down on his lips even harder trying to make
himself stop shaking and to try and stop gasping. Harry could feel someone sit down beside him on
the bed. A tear started to roll down his cheek. Harry felt someone reach out and touch his arm.
Harry shoved his face into his blood stained pillow. He was scared. He knew what was going to
happen, again.

Harry felt someone grab his face and turn it around. Harry’s eyes fluttered open and tried to
see the person in front of him. The man showed no emotion towards Harry. More tears started to roll
down Harry’s red cheeks. Harry felt the man’s hands began to drag him off of his bed. Harry felt
like he was to become sick.

Harry was rolled off the bed and onto the floor landing on his stomach. Harry started to sob
even harder into the carpet. All he wanted to do was to disappear, to melt away and never have to
come back. Harry knew that if he couldn’t disappear at least his mind could go somewhere else. His
mind could escape. His mind could go to a happier place. His mind could go to a happy life that
Harry had never got to know.

Harry could feel his uncle run his hands across his back. Harry started to breathe harder and
faster. He was starting to make himself hyperventilate. Harry could hear the sound of his uncle
taking his belt off of his jeans. Harry bit his lip with such pressure that his tender lips split
open; he was trying to keep himself from moaning out.

Harry felt his uncle’s leather belt slide across his skin. Harry’s body was covered in sweat. He
was nervous and anxious and scared. Harry could hear the sound of the belt going through the air.
Harry slammed his eyes shut waiting for the contact to be made. Harry felt his uncle’s belt whip
against his skin. Harry screamed out. Harry felt his uncle hit him again with the belt, this time
he could feel the skin on his back peel away. Harry’s body began to thrash around. He wanted to get
out; he wanted to get away. Harry’s uncle grabbed him as he hit him again and again with the
belt.

Harry felt his uncle tighten his grip on him, making Harry stop thrashing around. All Harry
could do now was just lay there. He couldn’t escape; he couldn’t fight his uncle off unless he
wanted to be broken in half like a twig. Harry could feel his uncle beating him with the belt
harder and faster. Harry started to cry once again. His uncle was by no means being gentle.

Harry heard his uncle groan. Harry felt like he was going to end up becoming sick. Harry could
feel his skin completely rip open, he could feel his back begin to gush out blood. Harry almost
sighed with relief; it was over. Harry could feel his uncle letting go of him. Harry’s breath
started to slow down. Harry could hear his uncle start to put his belt on himself once again.
Harry’s tears began to dry. Harry could hear his uncle leave the room. Harry couldn’t do anything.
Harry was left there lying helpless and hurt.

**bqbqbqbqbqbq**

One week later, Harry was lying in his bed asleep. It was two hours before Vernon Dursley would
have to go pick his wife and son up from the train station. Vernon, who was wide wake started to
leave the kitchen and head upstairs for his nephew’s room. He slowly turned the doorknob and
entered the room. He shut the door behind him. Vernon walked over to the bed. He looked down at the
sleeping boy.

Harry was lying in his bed having another nightmare about strange people dieing. He started to
thrash out and become violent. Harry faintly heard a door opening and shutting but he thought that
it was all a part of his dream. Harry began to hear more noises, like someone undressing like
someone removing a belt, and someone climbing onto a bed. But he still thought that it was his
dream.

Harry suddenly felt like he was naked, like his shirt had been ripped off of his small frame.
Harry’s eyes burst open as his uncle’s belt came into contact with his skin. He then knew that it
wasn’t a dream. His mind was still somewhat sleep clogged so he didn’t know exactly what was going
on.

Harry could feel his uncle grabbing on to him. He could feel the belt thrashing against his
back. Harry tried to pull away, but he couldn’t move. Harry started to try and hit his uncle with
his hands but his uncle just grabbed them and held them down. Harry tried to kick at his uncle, but
they just got tangled up in the sheets. It was useless; he was trapped once again underneath his
uncle.

After Vernon was done he grabbed his belt, put it on, and left the room. Harry tried to get up;
he needed to go use the bathroom. Then he heard his uncle in the shower; he was afraid to move
while his uncle was still in the house, let alone go to the bathroom. So instead of getting up and
going to the bathroom, Harry just laid there in his bed.

While Harry’s uncle was in the shower Harry was trying to come up with a way to get out of the
house. He quickly decided that if he were to do anything it should be while his uncle was picking
up Petunia and Dudley. He decided that as soon as he leaves Harry should run downstairs, pick the
lock to the cupboard, put his belongings back in his trunk, run out of the house, wave his wand so
that the Knight Bus would come get him, and go to Diagon Alley.

An hour later and Harry heard his uncle open the front door and walk out. Harry slowly sat up in
his bed; he was waiting. Then he heard it, the engine starting. Harry quickly jumped out of his bed
and threw some of his clothes on. He grabbed his pillowcase that was under the loose
floorboard.

Harry ran down the hall to the bathroom and threw the medicine cabinet open. He was searching
for an item that he knew would be very very useful. Harry was growing antsy; he couldn’t find it.
Finally when he was about to turn away he saw it. He quickly grabbed it and shoved it into his
pocket.

Harry began to run down the stairs, he couldn’t exactly see right without his glasses so he had
to guess that he was on the steps right. He figured that he didn’t have any more steps; he was
wrong. He tripped and fell. Harry busted his chin open on the hard floor.

He didn’t care; all he knew was that he needed to get the hell out of there. He knew that no one
would be able to save him, but him. Nobody knew what was going on, and Harry didn’t want anyone to
know what had happened. Harry knew that if he wanted out of that house he was going to have to
break out himself. He knew that he couldn’t wait around for someone to finally show up and help
him. He had to do it himself. He was going to be his own saviour.

Harry picked himself up off of the floor and ran over to the cupboard. Harry shoved his hand
into his pocket searching for the thing that he had just placed there. He pulled it out; it was a
bobby pin. He quickly went to work at trying to unlock it. When he thought he had it, the bobby pin
broke.

Harry quickly ran back upstairs to grab another one. When he came back down stairs he shot a
glance at the clock. He figured that he had about 10 minutes to get out. He quickly started to get
to work on trying to pick the lock once again. This time he managed to get it open.

Harry quickly grabbed his trunk and broom out of the cupboard. Harry opened his trunk and shoved
all of his belongs into it. He took another look back at the clock. *SHIT!! They should be here
any second!!* Harry sprinted over to the door and ripped it open. He shoved his trunk out the
door and then followed it.

He slammed the door shut and grasped the handle to his trunk. He knew that no magic was allowed,
but right now he thought that it would be extremely useful. But he dared not to use it. He didn’t
want another repeat of last year. So, with his trunk at hand he made his way down the driveway.

Harry heard the sound of a car coming towards him. He whipped his head around to see that it was
the Dursley’s car slowly making its way up the street. Harry grabbed his wand out of his pocket and
waved. He hoped that like always the Knight Bus would show up extremely fast.

Harry could tell that the Dursley’s noticed that it was him, with his wand out in broad
daylight. Their car started to drive faster down the road. Harry’s heart jumped to his throat.
*Where is it?? It should be here by now!!* With that thought the Knight Bus appeared with a
rather loud BANG. Harry almost died from joy. He thought that he was going to be caught. He thought
that he was going to be dragged back into the Dursley’s house.

Stan stepped out of the Knight Bus and began to say, “Welcome to the Knight Bus--”

“No time Stan!!” Harry shouted at him as he looked at the ever-nearing car. Stan looked a little
taken back but didn’t say anything.

“Alrigh’ alrigh’ but firs’ you gotta pay.”

Harry quickly grabbed eleven sickles out of his moneybag and shoved them in Stan’s hand. Harry
and Stan lifted Harry’s trunk up into the bus with Hedwig’s cage on top. Stan directed Harry over
to one of the beds.

“Whoss that you ‘ere runnin’ from?”

“The Dursleys.” Harry said flatly.

“Woss happene’ to you?” Harry raised his hand and touched his head then reached down and touched
his chin. When he brought his hand away he saw blood on his fingertips.

“Nothing. I, um, I fell, that’s it! I um fell down the stairs.”

“ ‘hat’s how yous gotta bruises all o’er and stuff?” Stan said suspiciously.

“Yeah.”

“I don’ believe ya, but I take your ‘ord.” Stan said before he walked off back up to the
front.

When Harry finally sat down. He looked up at the newspaper that a strange old woman was reading.
He could barely make out the date. But he already knew what day it was. Harry looked down at his
feet and whispered the ending of a song to himself, “Happy Birthday to me.”

**bqbqbqbqbqbq**

**Author’s Note:** Anyway, if you like what you read review!!! If not, well review and tell
me what you didn’t like!! REMEMBER your opinions matter to me; after all you guys are the ones
reading my story!!!



5. Diagon Alley
---------------

**Author’s Note:** It’s what you have all been waiting for! HARRY/HERMIONE ACTION!!!
Enjoy!

**Thank you :** To all of my reviewers! I love you all so much more than you can imagine. I
also want to thank Keyan Rews and Kg Potter for beta reading my story and for always being my
friend and always being there for me whenever I need them!

Also, just a reminder bqbqbqbqbqbq means the same thing as ********* . It is just my own way of
creating a break.

**ATTENTION!!!! READ THIS NOTE!!!** Well, hopefully this got your attention. Anyway, I have
decided to add a dialog at the end of each chapter just to give you a taste of my personality and
my two best friends Karlee and Ryan also known as Kg Potter and Keyan Rews.

**Chapter Five**

**Diagon Alley**

Harry stepped off of the Knight Bus. He grabbed his trunk and proceeded to drag it into the
Leaky Cauldron. He tried to looked up at the bar keeper Tom, but it was difficult since he didn‘t
have his glasses. Tom came over to Harry.

“So what can I do for you Mr. Potter?” Tom looked at Harry suspiciously. Mainly just looking at
all of the cuts and bruises that covered Harry’s body.

“I need a room.”

“Will you be staying until you return back to school?”

“Yes.”

“Very well.” Tom said. The old man rubbed his chin as though he was considering something.
“Follow me, Mr. Potter. You’ll be staying in your old room, room eleven.”

Harry nodded and followed Tom up the stairs to his room. Tom opened the door and helped Harry
get settled into the room before leaving Harry standing there by himself. Harry walked over to the
door that Tom left open and shut it. Harry walked back into the centre of the room and looked
around.

This room was going to be his new little home once again. Harry took his clothes out of his
trunk and hung them in the small closet. Harry went around and placed a few of his items here and
there; just to give the room a homey feeling. After Harry had organized everything in the way he
wanted, he went down the stairs and into the bar.

Harry went over to the bar and sat down at one of the stools. Tom gave Harry an odd look but
didn’t say anything. Harry looked up at the selections of the different types of drinks that were
available. The bartender Tom walked over to Harry and gave him a drink. Harry looked up at Tom but
Tom just pointed to a person sitting at the other end of the bar.

The raven-haired boy stood up and walked down to the other end of the bar to thank the person
who bought him the drink. But when Harry finally came into eyesight of whom the person was Harry
stopped dead in his tracks. It was Hermione Granger. Not wanting to be rude Harry walked over to
Hermione and sat down in the seat next to her.

“Um…thanks Hermione.” Hermione looked up at Harry.

“You’re looking good,” Hermione said while staring down Harry.

Harry sneered at Hermione and said, “Is that why you invited me over here… to make fun of how I
look?”

“First off I didn’t invite you over here, I just bought you a drink. You looked like you didn’t
know what to choose. Obviously you don’t drink much. So I thought I would make your decision a
little easier, so I chose for you.”

“Oh how very kind of you.” Harry said while rolling his eyes.

“Harry?”

“What?”

“What did happen to your face?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Harry said truthfully.

With that comment Hermione waved her hand. That way Tom knew to bring some more drinks over to
the . Tom came and sat two glasses in front of them. Harry grabbed his glass and gulped it down.
Harry was trying to drown himself in the liquor; he was trying to forget about the last week with
his uncle. Hermione watched Harry drown his sorrows in the bottom of a glass. *Someone is
thirsty. He’ll end up being so wasted that he’ll end up telling me what happened to his
face.*

The more Harry drank the more drinks Hermione ended up having to buy. When Harry had finally
stopped drinking he looked over at Hermione who was as just as equally drunk.

“Why are you buying me all of these drinks?”

“It looks like you could use them. And I have the money to spare.”

“Oh,” was all Harry could think of to say.

“So what happened to your face?”

“Why do you want to know that I got beat?” *Aaahhhh, so he was beat…by whom?* “Why do you
care about my cuts and bruises?”

“I don’t.” Harry gave Hermione an odd look so Hermione quickly explained, “I meant what happened
to your glasses?”

“Why would you care?” Harry tried to sneer, but in his drunken state it didn’t work out to
well.

“I didn’t mean that in a negative way.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter. I can’t see a damned thing without them. That is going to be the first
thing I buy tomorrow.”

“That’s too bad.” Hermione replied truthfully.

“What do you mean ‘too bad’?”

“I mean you look good with out them. I love to look at your eyes. They’re just so beautiful and
with those silly things on, I can’t see them.”

Harry blushed a crimson colour. He then ordered another drink. He was watching Hermione out of
the corner of his eye. He saw the bushy haired girl yawn. So he asked, “You sleepy?”

“Only a little.”

“Then maybe we should go upstairs.”

Harry stood up and waited for Hermione to do the same. When Hermione attempted to stand up she
staggered backwards then forwards and ran right into Harry. Causing both of the Gryffindors to fall
on their arses. Harry couldn’t help but to giggle like a girl when he caught the confused girl in
his arms.

When they both got to their feet again Hermione began to walk in front of Harry. She turned
around grabbed Harry’s hand and began to lead him upstairs. Hermione stopped in front of a door.
Harry looked up at the number of the door; it was room 13. Hermione took her wand out and pointed
it at the door and said “Alohomora.” Harry gave Hermione a confused look. Hermione slurred out, “I
don’t want anyone getting into my stuff.”

Harry shrugged and followed Hermione into the room. When they were both in the room Hermione
locked the door back. Hermione directed Harry over to two chairs set up in the corner of the room.
Harry sat down and eyed the drunken Gryffindor girl.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I was thinking…”

“About what?”

“You.”

“What about me?”

“I just think it‘s kinda weird for you to be here and all.”

“What you think I can‘t care of myself?” Hermione teased.

“I know that.”

“Then what? Why do you think its weird?”

“Well, I mean don’t you usually spend it with your parents? I mean, are you not supposed to be
out at Ron‘s?”

“My parents don’t always want me around. And as for Ron, I don‘t have to stay there; besides he
knows that I am out here.”

“And why on earth would your parents not want you there?”

“You don’t know them.”

“Well, when I saw them before they seemed very nice.”

“Yes, they seem nice. But all families have their dirty little secrets.”

“And what kind of secrets does your perfect little family have?”

“First off, my family is anything and everything but perfect. And I don’t know if I really want
to tell you about my ‘families little dirty secret’.”

“Okay. Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you mad at me or anything…I just wanted to know what made
your life such a living hell? Is that too much to ask?”

“No…I guess not…Well it all started at the beginning of the summer. I told my parents about
everything that had happened to us at Hogwarts and they kept going on and on about how they are
never going to let me come back because it is just too dangerous.”

“But why would they do that?”

“I don’t know. I guess they are worried about me and all, but I mean I can take care of myself.
I’m not a baby. But it didn’t really get to bad until my father got involved.”

“What did your father do?”

“Let me put it this way, mom was the only person that I told about everything, then she runs off
and tells my father.”

“Let me guess, he overreacted.”

“He did more than overreact..”

“What do you mean? What happened?”

“My father picked up a new habit, drinking.”

“That’s definitely not good.”

“No kidding.”

“So what did he do?”

“He got drunk like he always did…and he needed a release.”

“What do you mean?”

“I got to become my father’s personal punching bag. Whenever he got drunk he would always come
after me. He would say that I was a no good little brat and that I didn’t deserve to live any
longer.”

“What did your mother do?”

“What could she do? I mean if you saw a completely crazed drunken man are you really going to
try and fight him off…or are you just going to stand there and watch everything happen?”

“I would…if I really loved the person.”

“Well, obviously my mother didn’t love me to much.”

“So what happened?”

“He came after me one night completely out of his mind. He said that he was going to clean the
family name. That I was trash and deserved to die.”

“You don’t mean…”

“Yeah, the sick bastard was going to kill me. When he came after me, I hid. I went to my
father’s study and grabbed some Floo Powder and went to Ron’s house. I told him what my father was
trying to do. He put me in a closet in his house and left to go to my house. He said that he would
go talk to my father.”

“So what happened to him?”

“Well, neither Ron nor my father know, but I followed Ron back to my house. I didn’t want Ron to
get hurt so I followed him. Ron and father had a fight in the living room. My father grabbed him
and just began to hit him over and over and beat him until he stopped moving. I flooed myself back
to Ron’s. I was scared. I couldn’t watch anything else he did. When Ron finally did come back to
his house, he looked like death. I couldn’t even believe that he was still alive.”

“So is that why you started to go out with Ron?”

“Yeah, I mean, I owe the guy my life. Without him I wouldn’t be living right now.”

“What about your father?”

“He stopped drinking. But he still didn’t stop the beatings. So I ran away. I came here. Nobody
could pay me enough to go back to that place…”

“So you’ve been staying here? All summer?”

“Yes. This room and Hogwarts are my home, now. I have nowhere else to go.” Both Gryffindors sat
in silence for some time before Hermione asked Harry, “Are you going to tell me what happened to
your face now?”

“I guess.”

“You know you already said that you got beat…”

“I did?”

“Yes. So you beat you?”

“My uncle…”

“The muggle?”

“Yes.”

“Why did he beat you?”

“Because he said I deserved it. He said it was punishment.”

“Punishment for what?”

“Calling my cousin gay, not being easy enough, wanting it all to stop, punching a hole in the
wall…”

“Why did you call your cousin gay?”

“Because my cousin didn’t believe me when I said his father attacked me when he found out about
me punching a hole in the wall.”

“Ok we’ve two things done with. What about ‘not being easy enough’ what’s that supposed to
mean?”

“You’ve got to swear that what I tell you…it won’t leave this room.”

“I won’t tell anyone.”

“My uncle, he beat the shit out of me until I couldn‘t move.”

“WHAT!?!”

“Hermione don’t yell…”

“But…why…why would he do that?”

“I don’t know… he said that it was my punishment.”

“For what?”

“I don’t know…I guess breathing, living, something.”

“Why didn’t you ever use magic on them, to make him stop or something?”

“After last year, I never wanted to use magic again. I don’t want to be on trial again. I don’t
want to have to go through the things that I had to go through again. Besides, ever since Sirius,
ever since the accident I have never wanted to really use magic again. I saw the evils of magic and
every time I use it just reminds me over and over of how I’m going to have to use that same kind of
magic against Voldemort in the end…”

“What do you mean, ‘in the end’?”

“Nothing…”

“Why didn’t Dumbledore or Lupin or someone come check on you. Because I sent an owl out two days
before everything started saying that I was tired of writing to them about me doing nothing. I said
that I doubted that I would owl them everything 3 days anymore. Besides, after I sent Hedwig, she
never came back until a little while ago.”

“So, when you never sent any messages back they didn‘t think anything of it because you already
said that you weren‘t going to write.”

“The story of my life…always saying shit at the wrong time and always doing things that I
thought would help when I should have just left things alone.”

“Harry, you can’t blame yourself for how things have turned out.”

“I can do whatever the bloody hell I feel like doing.” Harry said smugly.

“Harry…why didn’t you leave sooner…I mean, if it was so horrible and all why didn’t you just
leave?”

“I wanted to leave more than anything in the world. I had a few chances to run away to leave,
but every time I wanted to leave I realized that I had absolutely no where to go. Besides, the
first time he beat me, I was just in complete shock. I kept telling myself that it wasn’t real,
that everything was some kind of horrible dream and that I would wake up and find myself perfectly
fine in my bed. But I never woke up…”

“So what happened…I mean what happened to where you wanted to run away?”

“My aunt and cousin went on a week long trip. So that whole week, like two or three times a
day…he would…he would do it.”

Hermione and Harry both sat in silence for a few moments before Hermione asked, “What happened
to your glasses?”

“I was in the kitchen washing the dishes and he shoved me out of the kitchen. I busted my head
on a table. They shattered and the glass went everywhere some of it cut me right here.” Harry
replied while trailing his fingers over the cut.

“What about your chin?”

“When I was running down the stairs to escape, I missed a stair and went falling straight down
headfirst.

Hermione stood up from her chair. She walked over to Harry. She held her hand out. She traced
her fingers over the newly made cut. Her fingers froze; she then dropped her hand to where it
rested at her side. Chocolate eyes met Emerald. Hermione leaned in and placed a soft kiss on
Harry’s lips.

Harry was shocked at first. But soon let the feeling that was going through his body take
control. Hermione pulled back from Harry; she wanted to look into those eyes. They both smiled at
each other. Hermione walked over to the other side of the room. She took all of her clothing off
except for her bra and panties then proceeded to crawl into the bed.

Harry felt like he was put into a trance as the other Gryffindor began to undress herself. Harry
just sat there watching the girl, until Hermione called out for Harry to join her. He stripped his
clothing off besides his boxers and laid down onto the bed with Hermione. Harry crawled over to the
little girl. He laid down beside her.

Hermione reached over and grabbed Harry. She then pulled him closer to herself. Hermione traced
her fingers up and down Harry’s spine. This movement caused Harry to gasp out; Hermione’s touch had
sent a cold chill through his body. Hermione pulled Harry closer to herself. She leaned in and
placed a light kiss upon Harry’s lips.

Harry ran his fingers through Hermione’s hair. He grabbed Hermione’s head and pulled her closer,
deepening their kiss. Harry lightly bit on Hermione’s bottom lip. Sending an overwhelming feeling
of pleasure through Hermione’s body. She complied and opened her mouth, reviling her taste to
Harry.

As their tongues swirled around each others causing a fire to spread within their bodies.
Hermione ran her hand down Harry’s fine cut stomach, stopping when she reached the top of Harry’s
boxers. Harry moaned out as Hermione’s hand glided over the soft fabric that was hiding Harry’s
arousal. Hermione pulled away from Harry’s kiss. She wanted to look into Harry’s beautiful
eyes.

Hermione’s clever hand slipped underneath the fabric and began to tease Harry’s erection.
Hermione wrapped her hand around Harry and began to thrust her hand up and down on him. Harry
leaned forward and captured Hermione in another kiss. Harry began to moan into their kiss as
Hermione moved her hand faster on Harry.

Harry let his hands explore Hermione's body, sliding over her shoulders and down her back
and up over her chest. Harry let his hand fall onto Hermione’s back once again and undid the clasp
on her bra. His fingers returned to the front and brushed over Hermione's nipples and Hermione
made a soft, quiet noise in the back of her throat.

Shyly Harry began to rub his hand in-between Hermione’s smooth, tan legs. Harry pulled
Hermione’s panties off of her. He began to run his hands over the insides of Hermione’s thighs.
Hermione gasped when Harry’s talented fingers ran across her clitoris. Becoming restless Hermione
flipped herself on top of Harry.

Hermione pushed down against him, rubbing their body parts together, and Harry's breath
caught, he began bucking up against her. Hermione ran her hands down Harry’s chest and stopped at
the waistband of his boxers. Looking up at Harry to make sure that he was okay with it, Hermione
took Harry’s boxers off. Hermione’s hand once again grasped Harry’s cock. Harry reached down on
Hermione also and began to run his talented finger’s across her sweet spot.

Both Gryffindors began to run their hands all over each other. It felt odd for Harry to be
touching someone in such a personal way. But nevertheless Harry wanted to pleasure her as much as
he wanted his cock to be pleasured. Harry slowly moved his hand over Hermione causing Hermione to
murmer out a few incoherent words.

Soon their hands became erratic and desperate, both were needing their releases. Harry ran his
free hand up Hermione’s back and into her hair. Murmers, moans, and groans soon filled the room.
Hermione ran her hand down Harry’s side, and then she plunged it underneath Harry and grabbed his
arse.

Harry couldn’t hold himself back any longer, his cock twitched in Hermione’s hand; he had met
his release. Harry flipped himself on top of Hermione so he could touch her easier. Not to mention,
he liked feeling like he was the one in control of their actions. Harry continued to rub Hermione
desperately. Harry wanted the Gryffindor girl to come just as hard as he had. He wanted the girl to
feel the same way. Hermione’s breaths turning into panting, she couldn’t think properly any longer,
her body began to shake; she could feel herself close to the edge.

“Harry…” Hermione moaned out as she too reached her orgasm.

At first it shocked Harry when Hermione had met her release. He wasn’t sure what to expect…but
he wasn’t expecting Hermione to call out his name. Hermione laid herself down on the bed beside
Harry. She looked over at the raven haired boy and smiled. She had never seen the boy look more
beautiful.

Hermione leaned in and pressed a light kiss on Harry’s lightening bolt scar. A sudden rush of
fire spread through Harry’s body as Hermione’s lips came into contact with his scar. Harry’s body
shook in Hermione’s arms. Harry pulled himself closer to Hermione. Hermione wrapped her arms around
Harry. Harry laid his head over Hermione’s heart.

The sound of Hermione’s heartbeat was music to Harry’s ears. It was slowly starting to put him
to sleep. Hermione looked down at the boy in her arms. A small smile crept over her face as she saw
the boy sleeping peacefully in her arms. Hermione leaned over and grabbed her wand out of her
pants, which were lying on her bedside table

Hermione whispered a simple spell and the light in the room disappeared. Leaving the two in
total darkness. Hermione curled her body around Harry’s sleeping figure. Hermione could smell the
sweet scent of Harry’s hair. It seemed to be hypnotizing her. All too soon, Hermione also found
herself going to visit the place where anything can happen and your wildest dreams can come true;
this place was known as slumber land.

**bqbqbqbqbqbq**

The next morning the sun was glowing on full blast. A young man named Harry Potter rolled over
in his bed. He opened his eyes but immediately shut them back. The sun was far too bright for his
eyes this early in the morning. Not to mention that he had an extremely bad headache from all of
the liquor he had consumed the day before.

Harry reached over for the bedside table to grab his wand. But there was no wand. Harry slowly
opened his eyes and realized that he wasn’t in his own room. *Where in the bloody hell am I?*
Harry felt something odd behind him. It was heavy and moving slightly. Not to mention the warmth
coming off if. Whatever it was it also had it’s hands wrapped around him.

At that moment Harry’s memories came slamming back into his mind. Talking to Hermione down at
the bar, them going back up to Hermione’s room, Hermione talking about her father, him telling
Hermione about his uncle, Hermione kissing him, then everything went black and Harry knew no
more.

Harry slowly turned around. He opened his eyes and saw a very peaceful and innocent looking
Hermione Granger. Harry smiled. He had never in all his years at Hogwarts seen Hermione look so
peaceful and calm. Harry leaned into Hermione. He liked the warmth coming off of her. *Who would
have guessed that such a cold person could be so warm?*

As Harry leaned into Hermione, Hermione’s eyes began to flutter open. She looked down at the
person that was snuggling close to her, the person that she had her arms wrapped around.

“Harry?” Hermione said in disbelief.

Harry looked up at Hermione with his mysterious green eyes. Harry gave her a small smile. Not
knowing what she was doing, Hermione began to play with Harry’s hair. Harry leaned into Hermione’s
touch…it just felt so good. Harry looked back up at Hermione. Without realizing what he was doing,
he leaned in and pressed a light kiss on Hermione’s lips.

Much to both Gryffindors’ surprise, Hermione kissed Harry back. Hermione snaked her tongue
across Harry’s lips. Without hesitation Harry opened his mouth and let Hermione in. When it finally
clicked in their minds what they were doing, they pulled away from each other.

Harry flipped off the bed in his haste to get away from the brunette. It was only then that
Harry realized that he had been naked. Harry looked down at himself then at Hermione, who also
seemed to realize Harry’s naked state. Harry reached up and grabbed one of the sheets off of
Hermione’s bed and covered himself.

Hermione looked over at Harry uncertainly. *Oh Merlin, what in the hell did we do last night…
THINK Hermione THINK!!!! WHAT HAPPENED!!!* Hermione was yelling at herself mentally. It was at
that moment when the memory of kissing Harry resurfaced to her brain. *Oh god, we didn’t. We
couldn’t have.*

It was obvious to Hermione that Harry must have been thinking the same thing. Considering the
look that Harry had on his face. Hermione once again looked up at Harry, this time catching his
eye. “It was a mistake.”

“Hermione, there are no such things as mistakes. There are only things that we do and things
that we don’t do.”

Hermione took a moment to think over what Harry had just said before asking, “Did we… well you
know?”

“I don’t know… I can’t remember.” Harry answered uncertainly.

“Me either.”

“You don’t think we did…. Do you?”

“I don’t know…I mean why else would we be naked in *my* bed?”

“I don’t know…I don’t think that we…well you know…”

“Yeah…”

“I think I should leave…”

“That would probably be best.”

Harry stood up with the sheet wrapped around himself, grabbed his clothes, and left the room.
Harry quickly ran down the hallway to his own room and slammed the door behind him. Harry dropped
his clothing and the sheet in the middle of the room and walked over to the bathroom.

Harry stood in front of the mirror to examine himself. He noticed a few love bites on his neck.
*But you can’t get those from just kissing. You can also get those from shagging also*, said
an annoying little voice in the back of Harry’s mind.

Harry ran his hand down his stomach. He froze. He felt something dried to his stomach. Harry
looked down. His eyes went wide. “HOLY FUCK!!!” Harry shouted. *NO NO NO!!! THIS CANNOT BE
HAPPENING!!! NO FUCKING WAY IS THIS HAPPENING!!!* Harry took a deep breath.

*I’m just imaging it. It’s all in my mind. And all over your stomach,* the little voice
said once again. Harry heard a scream coming from the direction of Hermione’s room. *Obviously
she’s found what I’ve found. Well, if it’s on my stomach…then that means that we obviously didn’t
go any further.* Sickened by his own thoughts and wanting to get *it* off of his stomach
Harry stepped inside of the shower.

A few minutes later Harry had come out of the shower, gotten himself dressed and was now heading
downstairs for breakfast. Harry saw a certain Gryffindor sitting over in a dark corner. Harry
walked over there and sat himself across from the Gryffindor. Hermione looked up from her cup of
coffee. She saw that Harry had a worried expression on his face.

“I take it you found the same thing I did…”Harry began to say.

“Find what? I didn’t find anything.” Hermione said stubbornly.

“I know you did…I could hear you scream.”

“So what if I did find something.”

“Well, then…” Harry began. He leaned in closer to Hermione and began to whisper, “We obviously
did do something last night, that we can’t remember.”

“Are you trying to say that *we* did something last night, Potter?” Hermione said, still
not trying to believe the obvious.

“DAMN IT Hermione!!!” Harry shouted, getting some odd looks from people around them.

“Would you just shut up already?” Hermione whispered harshly.

“You know damn well as I do…that we did…well I don’t know what we did, but we sure as hell did
something!”

“I know that already Harry!! I had some nice little streaks of white on my bed to prove it too!!
Now if you’re done stating the obvious…” Hermione began but was cut off as two owls swooped through
the room.

They headed right for Harry and Hermione. Both owls dropped their letters then flew back off.
Harry looked at the letter in front of him it said,

*Hermione Granger*

*Diagon Alley*

*Leaky Cauldron*

*Room 13*

Harry looked over at Hermione who was also looking at him. Both of them swapped their letters
back to their owners. Harry ripped his apart and pulled the letter out. It read:

*Dear Mr. Potter,*

*We are pleased to inform you that you have an ‘O’ in Potions, Defence Against the Dark Arts,
and Transfiguration, an ‘E’ in Charms, Herbology and Divination, an ‘A’ in History of Magic and a
‘T’ in Astronomy, bringing your total O.W.L count to 11.*

Harry cringed when he saw the last grade for Astronomy, but he kept reading.

*If you still would like to pursue your career choice as an Auror, it is recommended that you
take the NEWT level of Charms, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Herbology, History of Magic, and
Potions. However, if you feel that being an Auror is not what you want to do after all, come to
your Head of House’s office to discuss your options.*

*Sincerely,*

*Minerva McGonagall*

*Head of Gryffindor House*

*Deputy Headmistress*

*Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.*

Harry let out a whoop of happiness, drawing the attention of everyone in the room; he blushed
slightly under the scrutiny. Harry looked up at Hermione, who had just got done reading his
letter.

“I believe you did well…otherwise you wouldn’t be whooping.”

“Yes, actually I think I did very good.” Harry said while sticking his nose up in the air.

“Well Mr. Smarty Pants, what did you get?”

“I got 11 O.W.L.s…what did you get?”

“I got 14 O.W.L.s.” Hermione quickly read over the books she would be needing for this school
year. She looked up at Harry who was also reading his list. “I think that we should go to Diagon
Alley by ourselves. If people see us together they’ll get the wrong impression. They will either
think we are together or that you‘ve gone completely mad. Besides, I‘m supposed to meet Ron at
Flourish and Blotts. ”

“What makes you think they would think I‘m mad?” Harry said sarcastically.

“Because people would rather think of you as mad before you actually dating a girl like me.”
Hermione said in all honesty.

“Alright, alright, we’ll go by ourselves. I don’t know what made you think I would want to go
with you anyway.” Harry said while rolling his eyes.

“Oh shut up, Potter.” Hermione said as she stood up.

Harry and Hermione made their ways out to the backyard still fussing over nothing. Harry pulled
out his wand, tapped the third brick from the left above the trash bin, stood back and watched as
the archway into Diagon Alley opened in the wall. Giving each other once last fake sneer they
walked off in separate directions.

Harry first went to Gringotts to fill up his moneybag. Once he was out of there he headed over
to a smaller shop and bought himself some new glasses. After he had found some new glasses he went
over to Flourish and Blotts to buy his new books. Before Harry could even get into the store, he
had already met up with an old friend, Ronald Weasley.

“Harry, mate!!!” Ron called out to him over the crowd. Harry walked over to Ron, a smile
appearing on both boys’ faces. “Sorry about this summer. Anyway, Happy Late Birthday.”

“Thanks, Ron.” Harry replied as a blush started to sweep over his face.

“How many O.W.L.s did you get?”

“I only got 11.” Harry said; feeling slightly depressed that it wasn’t a higher score. After
hearing Hermione’s he thought that maybe he should have more.

“That’s better than me…I only got 8.” Ron said with a large grin on his face.

Harry could see a group of red-heads walking their way. As Ginny Weasley approached Harry called
out hello to her, but she just blew right passed him and walked over towards Ron. “Ron, I think
that we should be going.” She grabbed Ron’s hand and they just left. Leaving Harry standing there
alone.

In the distance, a boy stood in the shadows watching Harry. He saw how Harry and Ron were
getting along. He saw how Ginny came up. He saw how Harry had tried to talk to her. He saw her blow
him off. He saw her take Ron away from Harry, leaving Harry alone. After seeing this, a red-headed
boy with chocolate eyes know as Aaron Weasley officially hated Ginny Weasley.

**bqbqbqbqbqbq**

That night Harry Potter was in his room putting his new belongings away in his trunks when he
heard screaming from room number 12. Harry was trying to ignore the people yelling and he was about
to go downstairs for dinner when he overheard Ron’s voice saying sorry.

“SORRY!?!?! YOU’RE SORRY!?!?!”

Harry quickly walked over to the wall and placed his ear against it. Trying to here better of
what Ginny and Ron were arguing about.

“Ginny, would you please just calm down.”

“CALM DOWN!?!?! CALM DOWN!?!?! RONALD WEASLEY I SWEAR I SHOULD KILL YOU SOMETIMES!!!”

“GINNY!!! WOULD YOU LISTEN TO ME??? Nothing happened…”

“NO YOU LISTEN TO ME!!! HE’S DANGEROUS RON!!! YOU HEARD WHAT HE SAID!!! THERE IS SERIOUSLY
SOMETHING WRONG WITH HARRY!!!”

“NO THERE ISN’T!!! THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU GINNY!!! I DON’T WANT TO LISTEN TO YOU BASH
MY BEST FRIEND!!!”

“RON IF YOU WOULD JUST LIS--”

“NO YOU LISTEN!!! I KNOW WHAT PERCY SAID!!! I WAS RIGHT THERE BESIDE YOU!!! But I don’t believe
it!!! Harry hasn’t changed!!! He’s the same old Harry that we’ve been going to school with for the
last 5 years!!! There is nothing different about him Gin’!!”

“YES THERE IS!!! Ron I’m not saying he’s evil, but there is something wrong with him. He is
fucking connected to VOLDEMORT!!! He can see inside of his mind and Voldemort can see inside of
his!!! He’s not safe!! You can’t tell him anything, without risking Voldemort knowing!!! Last year,
he about got us all KILLED RON!!! He did get Sirius killed. Do you want to be next???”

“Ginny, that makes no sense.”

“If you *would* have actually listened to Percy then it would. There is a prophecy Ron.
Either Harry dies or Voldemort dies. One of them has to kill the other in the end. That’s why
Voldemort has been coming after Harry all of these years. He’s been trying to kill him. I doubt
that he would care if he has to kill us along with Harry!! I’m sorry but I’m not going to risk my
neck for someone who will end up dieing.”

“Ginny you don’t know that. Harry has beaten him year after year, what makes you think he’ll
lose?”

“Because there is some magic that is so dark Ron, that I know Harry wouldn’t even consider
touching. But I know Voldemort would use that against him. Ron, please just stay away from him. At
least for now. At least until we get all of the facts.”

“Ginny, I don’t think I can do-”

“Please, Ron. If you got hurt or killed I don’t know what I would do. Please, just stay away
from him.”

“Fine.”

Harry walked over to his bed and sat down on the corner of it. He could hear Ron and Ginny’s
door open then close. He could hear them walking downstairs. Harry suddenly didn’t feel like going
downstairs anymore. Harry placed his head in his hands and began to cry. *That’s why I couldn’t
come over this summer. They think I’m going to end up killing them all. They think I’m just some
kind of dangerous weapon. They think that I’m going to…to die. They’re never going to talk to me
again. I don’t have any friends anymore. My friends completely hate me…*

There was a knock on the door. Harry quickly dried his tears and called out for the person to
come in. Hermione slowly opened the door. She walked in and shut it back. She strolled over to
Harry’s bed and sat down beside him. Hermione looked at Harry. She could tell that Harry had just
been crying.

“I…um…”

“You heard?” Harry asked

“Yeah. I did.” Hermione said thoughtfully

“Is that why you’re here now?”

“Yes and No.” Hermione took a deep breath, “I came to see how you were after I heard that. But I
also came because I want to see you.”

Harry looked up at Hermione. A small smile appeared on the boy’s full red lips. *Funny how
little things can always make everything seem to be okay. Funny how certain people can make you
feel,* the little voice said once again. Harry leaned over towards Hermione and kissed her once
again.

Hermione and Harry crawled onto bed with each other. They slowly began to kiss one another.
Hermione’s hands started to undo the buttons of Harry’s shirt. She looked down at the newly exposed
skin and could feel herself growing hungrier for Harry’s body. She ran her hands over Harry’s
unnaturally soft skin, trying to memorize every inch of the Gryffindor boy. Harry had also managed
to take Hermione’s top off, but he moved lower and started to fumble with pulling her skirt up and
off.

Harry wheeled himself over on top of Hermione and looked down at the beautiful Gryffindor girl.
He leaned down and kissed Hermione languidly, biting and sucking and nipping at Hermione’s now deep
red bottom lip, and rubbed Harry needingly over his jeans. As the skin of their chest’s came into
contact, it sent a wave of fire through their bodies. Hermione rolled herself onto Harry, wanting
to take control of their actions.

Hermione’s palm trailed down Harry’s body, her fingers first brushing over his nipple then down
to navel before she grazed the palm of her hand over the front of Harry’s jeans causing them to
become even tighter. Harry moaned loudly, and started clutching at Hermione. Hermione then rubbed
her own wetness against Harry’s causing them both to moan out. Hermione’s hands skimmed once again
over Harry’s abdomens until she reached the top of his pants and undid them. As Hermione took
Harry’s pants off the Gryffindor gave him little kisses on his face. Hermione wrapped her hand
around Harry and started to stroke him firmly, moving in an unsteady rhythm, which caused Harry
became weak to Hermione’s touch, but at the same time he wanted Hermione to cause him more
pleasure. Hermione began to kiss her way down Harry’s body. She wrapped her mouth around Harry’s
member and began to suck and tease him.

Hermione went lower on Harry, not really knowing what to do. By guess, she put her lips up to
Harry’s member and started to leave kisses on it. Harry could feel the hot breath breeze over his
cock, chilling the skin, but only making the fire in his stomach grow rapidly. A strong hand
gripped his cock softly, yet firmly, and more little kisses were placed on the underside, then the
kisses were traced by a tongue going from head to base and back.

Hermione flicked her tongue across the head of Harry, causing Harry to let out an unexpected
moan. Hermione could feel the precum beginning to surface on the tip of Harry’s cock.

She crawled her way back up to him and began to lay kisses on his face once again. Hermione kept
working her hand over Harry’s erection before she crawled back down Harry’s body and put her mouth
to the tip of his not-so-little-one.

The emerald eyed boy could feel the chocolate-eyed girl’s warm pale pink lips curl around him,
sucking needingly. Hermione eased her throat and swallowed as much of Harry as she could. Shivers
went down Harry’s spine as Hermione sucked him so teasingly. He threw his head back spilling jet
black hair on the pillow in ecstasy. He tried to suppress his moans, but was failing miserably.

Harry gripped Hermione’s hair pushing her head further down on to him. He wanted Hermione to
take more of him; he wanted to be inside of Hermione. It just made him feel so wonderful every time
Hermione teased the underside of his cock with her clever tongue. It started to be excruciating for
Harry, especially when Hermione started to go so slowly, when all he wanted was Hermione just to
suck him as fast and hard as possible. It was getting harder and harder for Harry to stay moving at
this slow speed. Harry’s body was demanding release but the slow speed at which Hermione was moving
at wouldn’t allow it.

He lost all sense of control; Harry started to thrust himself deep inside of Hermione’s mouth.
Hermione grabbed Harry’s hips trying to keep him from thrusting, but after Harry broke free from
her grip, she just allowed the emerald eyed boy to do as he pleased.

“Oh god…mmmgh…. Mmm…fuck, Hermione.” Harry said breathlessly. “I’m gonna…” But Hermione just
licked the tip of Harry’s cock once more before swallowing it. Harry wanted to thrust into Hermione
to make his release, but Hermione pinned him down mercilessly. Soon, Harry could do nothing besides
shake and gasp and just enjoy what Hermione was doing to him. Hermione swirled her warm tongue
around the head of Harry’s cock for few, what seemed to be like long moments, then would abruptly
swallow his entire length. After a few more moments of Hermione teasing his cock, Harry came
violently in her mouth.

Harry looked down at his lap and began to watch Hermione as she continued to ride out the rest
of Harry’s orgasm. Harry watched her pink tongue swirl his cum around his cock before licking it
and swallowing it all down her throat. The sight of Hermione doing this was almost enough for Harry
to cum again.

Hermione came out from Harry’s lap and kissed Harry lightly on the lips. Harry flipped Hermione
over onto her back; Harry wanted to return the favour. He went down and licked Hermione’s clitoris.
Hermione’s breath caught in her throat. Fire and ice spread through her body as Harry continued to
lick and suck her.

Harry’s innocence and not knowing what he was doing was turning Hermione on even more. She liked
the fact that Harry would do little things not knowing if they were right or not. But he did them
anyway. Hermione’s mind began to scream for release.

“Harry…please…faster…”

Harry began to suck Hermione off faster and harder. But not hard enough for Hermione. Harry
tilted his head and began to lick her as fast as he possibly could. He could feel Hermione’s body
began to shake beneath him. Harry let his hand’s wander up Hermione’s body. His smooth fingers
began to rub themselves across Hermione’s pink hard nipples. More and more mumbling could be heard
coming out of Hermione’s mouth.

With one last lick, Hermione called out Harry’s name, her entire body twitched, and she too had
met her release. Harry crawled back up to Hermione and laid down beside her. He leaned in. Full red
lips met pale pink lips.

“Is this what you think we did last night?” Harry teased.

“No…otherwise it wouldn’t have been all over my sheets.” They both laughed before snuggling
close together and falling asleep.

To Be Continued…

**bqbqbqbqbqbq**

**Author’s Note:** Also, can you believe that at first I didn’t plan on writing Hermione in
this chapter!! Now that I have added her, I like this chapter a lot more!! I really don’t think
that this chapter would have been the same if it didn’t have her in. I think you all deserved a
little bit of Harry/Hermione action so I decided to add that it for you all! : )

**ATTENTION!!!! READ THIS NOTE!!!** Well, hopefully this got your attention. Anyway, I have
decided to add a dialog at the end of each chapter just to give you a taste of my personality and
my two best friends Karlee and Ryan also known as Kg Potter and Keyan Rews.

**bqbqbqbqbqbq**

**Kg Potter:** Holy smokes look at them two go!

**Keyan Rews:** OMG!

**Hake Balms:** *evil laugh* interesting….

**Kg Potter:** very interesting…

**Keyan Rews:** oh lovely

**Hake Balms:** oh how much fun that would be… hopefully I’ll find out soon…

**Kg Potter and Keyan:** WHAT!?!?!

**Hake Balms:** Did I say that aloud?

**Keyan Rews:** um…yea

**Hake Balms:** *hides head and blushes*

**Kg Potter:** by the way…who in the heck is Aaron Weasley?

**Hake Balms:** NEW SUBJECT! So, what did ya’ll think about Hermione’s new angry
personality.

**Keyan Rews:** Not very Hermioneish. *fake sobs* bring her back…

**Kg Potter:** I like her when she’s in control

**All:** Laugh

**Keyan Rews:** I wish I could have been in Harry’s spot in a few scenes *smiles and
blushes*

**Kg Potter:** OMG!

**All:** Laugh

**Kg Potter:** Hey, on Tuesday aren’t you supposed to eat a lot?

**Hake Balms:** What for?

**Kg Potter:** It’s FAT TUESDAY!!

**Hake and Keyan:** Okay…

**Kg Potter:** Get it…it’s Tuesday and if you eat you’ll get fat! HA FAT TUESDAY!!

**Hake Balms:** Okay…you’re nuts…Keyan…get the muzzle, her privilege of speaking has been
revoked.

**Keyan Rews:** *Hands muzzle over* Here ya go

**Hake Balms:** *jumps on Kg Potter and straps muzzle on her* There we go…all better *pats Kg
Potter on head*

**Kg Potter:** grrrr….*swings head around and beats head into wall trying to get muzzle
off*

**Keyan Rews:** Haha…she can’t get out *stares in shock as it comes off* oh, no…

**Kg Potter:** You’re gonna get it now…BOTH OF YOU!!

**Keyan Rews:** HEAD FOR THE HILLS!! *takes off running*

**Hake Balms:** what’s going on…*looks around the place and sees a very angry Kg Potter*
ooooooohhhhhhh

**Keyan Rews:** RUN DIPWAD!! RUN!!

**Hake Balms:** I’m coming *starts running in wrong direction.*

**Kg Potter and Keyan:** laugh

**Hake Balms:** *stops 3 feet away form Kg Potter, looks around* oh yeah. Ha. Wrong way!
*starts running right way*

**Kg Potter:** *pounces on Hake then chases down Keyan* laughs evilly *binds and gags
both*

To Be Continued…

**Author’s Note:** I know…I know…it’s retard, dumb, stupid, and a waste of time. But I just
wanted to give all of my readers a bit of my personality. I mean you can tell a little bit about my
life from my story (the sadness, I used to cut, abuse, etc.) but you never really got to see my
personality in full blown power like all of my friends get to see…therefore you never really see
me. Tootles! See-ya Saturday!



6. The Train Ride
-----------------

**Author’s Note:** I cannot believe how freaking long this chapter turned out to be! I think
it’s funny because I was planning on this being one of the shortest chapters and for now, it’s the
longest one that I have ever written. Anyway, on with the story!

I also want to quickly say…HAPPY BIRTHDAY KARLEE RAE!!!

**Chapter 6**

**The Train Ride**

Harry stood hesitantly in front of the door to the compartment, which held Ron, Hermione, Dean,
Ginny, Seamus, and Neville. He stood outside of the door and watched them. They were all chatting
so happily. They all had great big smiles that were spread across their faces. Not one person in
that room seemed to notice or care that Harry wasn’t in there enjoying himself along with them. The
Gryffindor’s eyes scanned the room. He noticed that Ron and Hermione’s hands were interlocked;
Ron’s thumb was gently caressing Hermione’s hand. Ginny and Seamus’ hands were also together,
expressing their love for everyone to see. He could hear his once friend’s merry laughter and
wondered how anyone cold be so happy.

Wrapping his fingers around the doorknob, Harry felt faintly depressed. He began to turn it, but
he let his hand fall off the handle. He had raised his head to look back through the window but he
caught Ginny’s eye. She turned her head and stared at him; her face turned into a sneer and began
to glare at him as though she had seen something very foul and disgusting. Harry slowly began to
turn around but he looked back behind him once more. Hermione’s smile was now back on her face as
she snuggled closer to Ron. Ginny’s sharp eyes were still watching Harry, taunting him to open the
door. He began to walk away from the cheerful laughter, the merry laughter, his old life.

Sighing heavily, he walked up and down the small hallway looking for an empty compartment. He
wanted to be alone. He wanted to be able to think. Finally, at the end of the hall he spotted a
compartment that only held one occupant. Harry looked through the window trying to make out who the
person was. He couldn’t tell who the mysterious person was; Harry assumed that it was a she
considering the person looked nothing like a he.

The person was dressed in nothing but black from head to toe. For some strange reason the person
had reminded him of a little rhyme (*Miss Mary Mack all dressed in black)* that he had heard
his aunt read to Dudley. The girl had on a black cloak but the cloak was open yet only revealed
more black clothing. The hood on the cloak was drawn up around the girl’s face. It looked like the
girl was trying to hide her face, as if she didn’t want anyone to know that it was her. All the
girl seemed to want to do was stare out the window.

Harry continued to stare at the person, watching her for any movements to give away her
identity. Suddenly the person shifted in her seat. Her face snapped towards the door. Emerald eyes
met chocolate eyes once again. The chocolate-eyed girl attempted to give a small smile, but
faltered. Harry slowly began to open the door to the compartment.

Once he entered, he shut the door behind him. The girl shifted slightly in her seat when Harry
sat down across from her. She began to eye Harry wearily. She began to open her mouth as if she
were about to say something but then shut her mouth back, as though she thought it would be best
not to say what she was about to.

While blushing, Harry slowly began to look away; he didn’t like being stared at like that. The
girl continued to stare at him. Harry looked over at the chocolate-eyed girl out of the corner of
his eye. *She’s **still** staring at me! Why?* The chocolate-eyed girl gave a small nod
towards Harry causing pieces of her silky brunette hair to fall out behind the hooded cloak.

Harry’s eye gave a slight twinkle and he too nodded. Both had made their silent hellos. The
brunette girl turned her head and began to stare once more out of the window. Black and brunette
both gave a surprised gasp as the train gave a sudden jerk and began to slowly make its way out of
the train station.

“How did you get in here?” Harry whispered out to her. “I mean, I saw you in their with Ron and
everyone else…”

“I just got up and walked out.”

“Why?”

“I couldn’t stand it…they just kept saying things about you…”

“Oh…” Harry barely whispered out.

The girl began to nod her head as sleep began to engulf her small, pale form and Harry couldn‘t
help himself but to watch her. The brunette girl pressed her face against the window and slowly
began to nod off to sleep. Harry also began to stare out of the window; he watched the scenery
flash by without ever really seeing it.

Harry tried not to think of the constant late night meetings that he had been having with
Hermione Granger for the last couple of weeks. Though they never really went past groping,
touching, licking, and sucking; but neither wanted to go to the next step, sex. They both had made
a truce not to talk about it anymore, a truce that when they reached Hogwarts they would no longer
see each other. It would just be better that way, Harry had told Hermione at their last meeting.
Hermione nodded and agreed to Harry’s request, but Harry could tell that Hermione really didn’t
want to agree.

He didn’t know why he had forced Hermione not to tell; it is just that once they got back to
Hogwarts Harry wanted everything to be back to normal, even though he knew that things would never
be the same again. He didn’t want to be attached to Hermione. He didn’t want to be attached to
anything. Nevertheless, at the same time, Harry knew that Hermione was the only thing keeping him
here. Letting him know that this is real, this is what is going on. Harry knew at that moment that
he never should have let Hermione slip through his fingers, but it was too late now.

Pressing his head against the cool glass Harry began to lose himself in sleep and a mixture of
thoughts about Hermione. His mind swirled into a realm of uncertainty as his body slowly drifted
away into the darkness. Harry’s eyes slowly fluttered open; he began to pull himself off the
window. He didn’t know how long he had been asleep, but he figured it had been a long time
considering that it was now pitch black outside. Harry looked over at the other occupant.

The brunette girl was now lying curled up into a small ball on the seat across from him. The way
she was laying was in a very defensive manor. She just looked even more at peace than she had any
other time Harry had caught her sleeping. Her face was very soft. The brunette’s eyes were
fluttering; it was obvious that she was dreaming. Her mouth was slightly open, reviling her white
teeth.

Harry saw something flash by out of the corner of his eye. He looked over at it. There she was,
just staring at him. No, not staring, glaring at him. She was looking at him as if he was unworthy
of life, looking at him as if he didn’t even deserve to be near the brunette girl seated across
from him, looking at him as if he was about to pass on his ‘evil ways’ to the poor girl, looking at
him as if he was the scum of the Earth.

Quickly, he turned his head away from the girl. He fixed his gaze on the window as the hot tears
began to sting his face. He didn’t understand, he couldn’t understand why Ginny was acting the way
she was. He had heard what she had said, but he refused to believe in it. He thought that if maybe,
just maybe he pretended it wasn’t real maybe then it wouldn’t be real. It didn’t matter, how many
times he prayed, hoped, and wished that it all would go away, it never did.

*The story of my fucking life. Sorrow, depression, anger, and abuse. But never love. No, never
love. If I was loved then all of this shit wouldn’t matter. If I was loved, the world wouldn’t seem
so sad. If I was loved, I would never feel alone in a crowded room again. If I was loved, there
would be no more tears to wash down my cheeks. If I was loved, then I wouldn’t die alone. If I was
loved, then this war would be worth fighting for. If I was loved, everything would somehow make
sense. If I was loved, my hand would always be held. If I was loved, my heart wouldn’t be torn the
way it is. If I was loved, I would let people in. If I was loved, all of my defences, all of my
walls of protection, would come crashing down. If I was loved, everything would seem perfect,
everything would seem right.*

Harry took a deep breath in and slowly let it back out again. He turned his head to look back
towards the window where Ginny had been standing, but she was no longer there, she had already
left. Sighing with relief, he really didn’t want to look back into her hating eyes once again. He
never wanted to see that kind of emotion in Ginny ever again, especially directed at him. He looked
back once again just to make sure that she really was gone. Still there was nothing there.

A loud gasp shook Harry from his thoughts. Harry looked over at the girl who had made the noise.
He was almost frightened by the sight of her. The brunette’s hood fell off her head, her brunette
hair was sticking to her face from all of the sweat, she was taking in deep uncontrollable breaths,
her body began to shake and tremble looking as though she was having a seizure, and she began to
shake her head back and forth while mumbling incoherently.

Jumping over to the other seat, Harry tried to wake the girl up. Harry began to panic. *How in
the hell am I supposed to wake her up with her flinging her arms and legs like this? How am I even
supposed to get near her? How am I supposed to help her?* But those thoughts soon left his mind
as the girl’s eyes shot open.

But her eyes weren’t normal. At first, they stared right up at Harry, but then they rolled back
into the brunette’s head. Harry quickly straddled her. He bent down and grabbed the young girl’s
face. He wanted her to wake up but he didn’t know how to wake her up. Harry began to grow even more
panicky.

“DAMN IT!!! WAKE UP!!!” Harry shouted into the girl’s face. Tears began to form on Harry’s face;
he didn’t know what to do. “WAKE UP!!! PLEASE!!! JUST WAKE UP!!!”

Harry started to take in deep breaths, trying to calm himself, but it was useless. The young
girl continued to fight Harry off. She continued to thrash her arms and legs around. Harry grabbed
the girl’s arms and pinned them down above the girl’s head. Much to Harry’s surprise the girl
slowly started to stop moving, she slowly stopped trying to fight Harry off.

The girl’s eyes shut once more but quickly reopened. This time they immediately focused on the
figure straddling her. The girl let out a strangled sound and quickly jerked herself out of Harry’s
arms. She knocked Harry off of her in the process of trying to get away from him. She backed up
against the corner of the seat and brought her knees up to her face. She looked over at Harry.
Harry caught that emotion that was flashing through the girl’s eyes, fright.

Standing up slowly, he didn’t want to frighten the girl more than what she was already. Harry
sat himself down next to the girl. He reached his hand out to brush a piece of the brunette hair
out of her face, but when the chocolate-eyed girl saw Harry raise his hand, she flinched away. Hurt
flashed through Harry’s eyes. He didn’t know why the girl was acting like this, but he knew
whatever it was, something wasn’t right.

Harry cocked his head to one side. The chocolate-eyed girl looked up at him. Harry gave her a
half-hearted smile. The girl backed herself even further into the corner. “Hermione? What’s
wrong??? Please, tell me.” Harry whispered ever so softly.

Hermione looked up at him; tears were burning their way down her pale-flushed cheeks. Hermione
slowly nodded her head, signalling that there was nothing wrong. Harry knew better than to fall for
that. The only thing was that Harry wasn’t so sure what was wrong or how to help her.

“Please, don’t do that. I know that something is wrong. Just tell me. You can trust me. I’m here
and I’m not leaving. Just tell me, Hermione.”

“You really want to know?” Hermione asked quietly.

**bqbqbqbqbqbqbq**

Hermione quickly grabbed her trunk and began to head towards the door of her room. She turned
around and looked at the room once more. She loved the room for all of the memories her and a
certain raven-haired boy had shared in the last few weeks. That was all over now, school was
starting back again and both of them knew that once they returned to the school they would never be
able to see each other any longer. For she, Hermione, was dating Ron and Harry was Ron’s best
friend, and everyone knew that those two would fight about anything, especially her.

The chocolate-eyed girl turned back towards her door, laid her thin, pale fingers on the
doorknob, and slowly began to turn the knob, opening the door. She was about to walk out, but there
was someone blocking the way. Strong, tan hands shoved Hermione back into her bedroom. She lost her
balance and fell backwards, landing on top of the bed. Two firm fire red lips smothered a loud gasp
coming from Hermione. Their mouths were interlocked; neither wanted the kiss to end.

Licking, nibbling, and biting is what soon became of their kiss. Suddenly, the person who was on
top of Hermione pulled away from her. Hermione looked up and found herself lost inside of a pair of
emerald green eyes. What she saw in those eyes were lust, passion, and sorrow. Hermione could
understand the lust and passion but she didn’t know what to make of the sorrow.

The emerald-eyed boy leaned back into Hermione for another kiss. He began to whisper into their
kiss, “The last time,” he pressed his lips against Hermione’s again and swirled his tongue around
Hermione’s, “this has to be the last time, Hermione.”

Hermione pulled away from the boy’s touch, “Harry, what do you mean ‘the last time’?”

Harry bent down again and captured Hermione into another deep and fiery kiss. Harry’s hands
slowly slid down Hermione’s chest. When they reached the buttons of her shirt, he slow began to
undo them, slowly exposing Hermione’s slightly paled flesh. Harry’s tongue slowly slid its way down
to the nape of Hermione’s neck. Hermione bent her neck allowing Harry more freedom to do whatever
he wanted.

It was then when Hermione noticed that the door still stood wide open; allowing any and everyone
who walk passed to catch them in their little sexual act. *Holy shit!!! Shit!!!
Must…shut…door!!!* Hermione shoved Harry off her. Harry gave her a look of confusion. Hermione
quickly got up off the bed; she could hear voices, and they were coming this way. She ran over to
the door and slammed it shut. She leaned against the door her forehead touching the cool wood and
let out a deep sigh. *That was too close, way too close.*

She turned around slowly. Harry gasped at the sight of her. Hermione’s shirt was undone exposing
the flesh of her breast, her cheeks were tinted a dark pink, and there where little bites all over
her neck and shoulder. Harry loved the way Hermione’s normally bright chocolate eyes turned to a
dark pool of bronze, whenever Hermione was passionate. Harry thought that he could lose himself
inside of those eyes.

Hermione wanted to scream when she saw Harry. He was lying so innocently on her bed. Harry was
sitting up with his legs parted, in an odd way Hermione was reminded of a school girl. Hermione’s
eyes grazed over the image of Harry. One thing that stuck out in her mind as she looked at Harry
was Harry’s lips. She loved how they were barely parted; she also loved how thick and red they were
due to his excitement.

Hermione didn’t know how Harry always got her like this, but he did. Hermione didn’t know how
she fell for Harry so fast , but she did. Hermione didn’t know how he had claimed her heart, but he
had. Hermione didn’t even know if she loved Harry, but somehow Hermione’s heart already knew.

She couldn’t stand it for one more minute. Hermione wanted Harry and it was obvious that Harry
wanted her too. She jumped on the bed and quickly crawled over to Harry. Their lips met and both
felt a burst of electricity go through them. It wasn’t long after when on the floor lied pairs of
jeans, a skirt, two pairs of shoes, a bra, and two shirts.

When they were done, Hermione was lying in Harry’s arms. Hermione turned around in Harry’s arms
to where they were face to face. Hermione looked up at Harry and smiled. Harry shifted
uncomfortably. He looked down and sighed heavily. Hermione got the feeling that Harry was about to
say something that neither was going to like.

“Hermione, I…” Harry began

“Shh…just a few more minutes. Whatever it is…I can tell it’s bad…so please, please just a few
more minutes.” Hermione whispered into the silent room.

“Okay.”

Hermione lied there in Harry’s arms for quite sometime. She absent-mindedly stroked and played
with Harry’s hair. She didn’t want this moment to ever be over. She knew that when it was, that
Harry was going to say something. Most likely something that will end up making her cry in the long
run. Although, Hermione knew that she would never cry in front of Harry, that would show to much
weakness.

“Hermione…I have to, I need to say this.”

“What?”

“Once we’re back, …once we’re back at Hogwarts…I can’t see you anymore.”

“Why?” She asked, but she already knew the answer.

“There’s just too much of a risk of Ron finding out then. Too many people who could accidentally
run into us or catch us. It’s just that it’s too much of a risk.”

“I think it’s worth the risk.” Hermione mumbled very quietly.

There was an awkward silence between both Gryffindors for some time. Finally Harry began to
move. He got up grabbed his clothes and began to get dressed. Hermione sat up beside him and also
began to get dressed. Hermione pulled on the rest of her clothes and now began to put her shoes
back on. There was a loud sigh beside her. Hermione looked over at the boy who had made the
noise.

“What?” Hermione asked quietly.

“I…I don’t know. Maybe this isn’t the right thing to do…I mean, I like doing…well, this.”

“Then why do you want it to end?”

“There’s too much of a risk of someone catching us.”

“So I guess you’re not willing to be caught?”

“It’s not like that, it’s just that I don’t know.”

“What do you not know Harry?” Hermione said with some anger in her voice.

“I’m not going to mess this up for Ron!” Harry shouted.

“Then what the *hell* were *you* doing with *me*!!” Hermione was furious by this
point. So angry that there were tears beginning to flow down her face.

“I was, I was just…”

“Oh, little me think our little Gryffindor hero fucked up again.”

“Hermione, I…”

“Save it Harry. I don’t want to hear anymore of this shit. Don’t talk to me until you figure out
what you want to do.” Hermione began to stand up.

“Don’t.” Harry said as he stood up and grabbed Hermione’s arm.

“Don’t what, Harry?”

“Don’t leave. I need you here.”

“If you need me here, then why are you trying to say that we shouldn’t be doing this
anymore.”

“I don’t know. I just…I’m just confused.”

“Confused about what?”

“Don’t get me wrong I want to be with you, it’s just…”

“Just what?”

“That Ron has always loved you…but, I… I just can’t mess this up for him Hermione. I don’t want
to be the reason why you two may never fall in love. I’m just not sure about anything anymore.
Everything is so messed up now.”

“Harry the only thing that is messed up right now is you. Besides, it‘s too late Harry, I can‘t
fall in love with Ron because I have already fallen in love with you.”

“You… you have?”

“Yes, but I guess that was just another silly mistake of mine.”

“Hermione…”

“No, Harry. What on earth would make me think that little Harry Potter would love me too…”

“I… I didn’t know…”

“Of course you wouldn’t. Good-bye Harry.”

“Wait, what do you mean?”

“How long is a girl supposed to hold on Harry? How long am I supposed to stand by your side if
you’re not going to love me back? Because I can’t do that Harry, not when I know that Ron will love
me back.”

“Just please, please Hermione.” Harry said as he began to sit down pulling Hermione down with
him.

“What?” Hermione whispered.

“Promise me, this has to be our last time no matter what.”

“Fine this was our last time.”

“Hermione promise me that you won’t come looking for me. Because if you come back to me, I know,
I just know that I won’t have enough strength to push you away. I know that I would let you back in
my arms. So please just promise me. Promise me Hermione.”

“I promise. I won’t go looking for you.”

“Thank-you.”

Hermione grabbed her belongings, turned and looked at Harry once again. That was one picture
Hermione knew she would never be able to forget. Harry sitting there on her bed, hunched over, body
shaking as he was crying, and his green eyes staring right at her. It was hard for Hermione to just
walk away from Harry, but she knew deep down that she couldn’t ever go back there. She turned on
her heel and walked out the door.

As she made her way out of the Leaky Cauldron, she had got a lot of questioning looks. Hermione
shrugged them off; she was used to being stared at like she was some kind of monstrous animal,
after all she was a friend of Potter‘s. But there was one person that she noticed above all others.
The young boy, that captured her attention and wouldn’t let go of it, was standing next to the exit
of the Leaky Cauldron. The guy appeared to be the same age as Hermione, yet somehow younger.

Without realizing it Hermione began to walk closer towards the boy. As she walked closer
Hermione realized that somehow and in someway she knew that boy. She didn’t know how she knew him,
just that she knew him. The boy smiled when Hermione began to walk closer to him.

With the reddish brown hair, freckled face, and dark chocolate eyes, Hermione knew that she had
seen this boy before. His face was just so familiar. Hermione then realized how much the boy looked
just like all of the other Weasleys. Hermione thought that maybe this boy was somehow related to
them. *But how on earth does this boy have such dark brown eyes, when all the others have baby
blue?*

Hermione didn’t want to think about the boy any longer, she wanted to get out of that place as
fast as she possibly could. Even more people began to give her odd looks as she tried to hurry out
of the place. She bumped into a few tables and chairs, but she didn’t notice; she just wanted to
get away from that boy’s stare.

When she made it outside she reached down into her right pocket and pulled out her wand. She
waved it down and waited. After a few seconds the Knight Bus appeared. Hermione didn’t talk back to
anyone, she just handed them the money and her bags. She got on the bus and took a seat near the
back. She didn’t feel like talking to anyone at the moment, she just wanted to be left alone in her
own mind.

It felt like hours had gone by while Hermione was on the bus. She finally reached her
destination, King’s Cross. She threw all of her belongings onto a trolley. She came in front of the
platforms 9 and 10; she quickly ran threw them with no hesitation. She didn’t even really give the
train a second look before boarding it.

Hermione didn’t want anyone to find her so she sat in one of the very back compartments. But to
Hermione this still wasn’t enough to keep her friends from knowing who she was. She grabbed a black
robe out of her trunk and quickly changed into it. She pulled the hood up around her face, trying
to hide her identity.

Hermione realized that if Ron didn’t find her on the train, then all of them would go into every
compartment to try and find her. Hermione stood up and left the compartment and went to find her
sweet boyfriend, Ronald Weasley. Hermione easily found her red-headed boyfriend. She took her seat
next to him inside of the compartment. Hermione felt Ron take hold of her hand.

She heard the hurtful words they all began to say about Harry Potter. Harry, the lover she had
for the last couple of weeks. It almost ripped Hermione’s heart to pieces to hear all of Harry’s
old friends talk about him like this. She couldn’t take it any longer. She stood up and left and
went back to the other compartment.

She let out a deep sigh. She was trying not to think of a certain Gryffindor boy. But for some
reason Hermione couldn’t remember anything but him. Hermione turned her head towards the window and
stared out the window and watched. She watched all of the happy children with their happy little
families. She watched how the families smiled and hugged their children. Hermione felt a pang of
hurt in her heart. It hurt her to watch other people be happy when she wasn’t. It hurt to see that
some people got to grow up loved. It hurt to know that she could never be like those children. It
hurt her to know who she was.

She continued to stare out the window watching the people. Hermione felt somewhat odd just
sitting there staring out the window watching the people. She began to shift nervously in her seat,
because she thought she had just seen her father standing amongst the crowd. She heard a noise by
the door and snapped her head towards the door, but it wasn’t her father. It was Harry Potter.
Hermione tried to smile and be nice but she was failing miserably.

Hermione began to squirm as Harry came into the room with her. It was just too much at the
moment. They had just said that they were going to stay away from one another and what happens,
Harry follows her in there. Hermione watched Harry with silent chocolate eyes. She saw that Harry
was attempting to say something but didn’t.

Hermione tried to hide her amusement as she saw Harry turn away blushing. Hermione didn’t know
why, but for some reason or another she just couldn’t look away from Harry. She saw Harry turn a
deep colour of crimson as she continued to stare at him with blank eyes. Finally after awhile
Hermione gave a small nod towards Harry making a silent hello.

Staring at Harry was making Hermione feel a little lonely and empty. She couldn’t look at him
any longer so she began to look out the window. Hermione noticed that there wasn’t really anymore
people standing out on the platform any longer. She figured that it must be time for the train to
take off. The train gave a sudden jerk and she gasped out with surprise. She also noticed that
Harry had been surprised too.

“How did you get in here?” Harry whispered out to her. “I mean, I saw you in their with Ron and
everyone else…”

“I just got up and walked out.”

“Why?”

“I couldn’t stand it…they just kept saying things about you…”

“Oh…” Harry barely whispered out.

Scenery began to flash by outside. As Hermione watched she could feel herself grow tired. After
all, she had only a couple of hours of sleep. So why not go to sleep? It was the perfect time. She
didn’t want to face Harryl so why not face what dreams her mind had set up for this sleep. Hermione
let herself fall against the glass of the window and drift off to sleep.

Hermione knew she hadn’t been asleep for too long considering that it was still day. She pulled
herself off of the glass and looked around the small room. Her eyes laid on the young raven-haired
boy who sat across from her. Hermione didn’t know why but she suddenly had the urge to just touch
Harry. She wanted to feel his soft skin once again, she needed to be close to the boy once again.
Hermione slowly got up out of her seat and went over towards Harry and sat down beside him.

She slowly began to rub the boy’s arm. Hermione began to brush the long hairs away from Harry’s
eyes. As she stroked Harry’s hair, Harry began to lean into the touch of Hermione’s hand.
Hermione’s heart began to flutter. She knew that she shouldn’t be over there with Harry, but at the
same time that’s all she wanted to do. Hermione finally got up and went over to the other side
where she was supposed to be sitting.

Her eyes began to drift over different things in the room like Harry, the door, Harry, the
window, Harry, the design in the cushions, and Harry. Her eyes ran over the door once again but
this time she saw someone standing there, Ginny Weasley. Hermione couldn’t help but notice the hate
in her eyes. Ginny looked over at the sleeping Harry and glared. Hermione slowly stood up and
walked over to the door and opened it. Ginny stumbled backwards as she tried to get away from her.
Hermione quickly shut the door behind her and walk towards Ginny.

“Wait!” Hermione shouted at her.

Ginny ran herself right into a corner, they were in the very back of the train, there was no
where for her to go. She turned around and glared at Hermione. “What do you want?”

“I should ask you the same thing. What were you doing outside my compartment?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“I think it is, especially when you have that much hatred when you look at us.”

“It’s none of your business.”

“You’re right it may not be mine. But if you hurt me or Harry, then it is my business.”

“Who said I would want to hurt either of you?”

“The look in your eyes.”

“Now, would you care to let me return to my compartment?” Ginny said as she began to walk passed
Hermione.

Hermione grabbed Ginny and shoved her back against the wall. Ginny gave a gasp as a sharp pain
went through her body as she hit the wall. “Yes I do care. I don’t think I’m done talking to you
yet.”

“What do you want?”

“I want you to stay away from Harry.”

“And what if I *don’t*?” Ginny tested.

“Then I’ll have to hunt you down and hurt you in more ways than you could ever imagine.”

“Are you threatening me?”

“You can bet your sweet arse I am.”

“I’m telling.”

“Go ahead, and I’ll tell that you had plans to kill Harry.”

“You have no proof!”

“Neither do you!”

“I have my word and they can make you tell. All they have to do is give you one simple potion
and you’ll tell everything we need to hear.”

“Yes and they would also hear that I would only hurt you if you hurt Harry or me. So that’s not
really a threat now is it?”

“I, well, no.”

“Now, next question. Why were you staring at Harry like that?”

“I don’t have to tell you a thing.”

“You’re right, you don’t, but things would go a little faster if you would.”

“I wasn’t staring at Harry.” Ginny said flatly.

“Oh really, then what were you staring at?”

“The monster that has taken over Harry. The old Harry, the Harry I know wouldn’t sit in a
compartment with *you*. Especially since you‘re dating my brother.”

“Well, I doubt the old Ginny would stare at Harry like he’s a fucking bug either. The Ginny that
I always saw was right by Harry’s side no matter what he might have done. ”

“That Ginny died, when Harry changed. ”

“I don’t think Harry changed, I think you changed.”

“I did no such thing.”

“Then why could I hear you screaming at Ron to stay away from Harry? Saying that Harry was
dangerous. That Harry would just end up killing you both. Why could I hear that if you never
changed?”

“I, well, how could you hear that?”

“You were shouting loud enough for everyone in the Leaky Cauldron to hear!”

“I WAS NOT!!”

“You were shouting just like you are now.”

“I AM NOT SHO-” Ginny tried to calm herself down, “I’m not shouting.”

“You still didn’t answer my question how could I hear all of that if you were still the same old
Ginny?”

“I don’t know. Maybe you can just answer that question yourself.”

“Ginny shut the hell up. You talk too much, do you know that?”

“Some people like to hear educated people tal-”

“Like now, shut the fuck up. I don’t want to hear this crap anymore Ginny. All I hear is nothing
but lies. You’re doing nothing but trying to cover your own arse. You’re trying to make it seem
like Harry has changed and gone bad and evil, when it was you who had changed. You’re the one who
your friends shouldn’t trust anymore. All you do is make accusations without any proof.”

“I have proof!”

“What proof?”

“Percy showed it to me.”

“Percy showed you nothing but lies. If you read his journal or watched him you would know he is
definitely not on our side of things. He works for Voldemort you stupid twit.”

“You would only know that because you work for him too.”

“I don’t. I would never work for that bastard.”

“Yeah, right and I’m Mrs. Santa Claus.” Hermione took her robe off and rolled up both sleeves so
Ginny could see her arms. Hermione shoved Ginny against the wall. Ginny began to squirm. “What,
what are you doing?”

“Shut up.” Hermione stood there in front of her and let her look at her. “There, see no Death
Eater marks.”

“I, I, that doesn’t prove anything. Snape -”

“He has one. Voldemort won’t let you in to his little ‘group’ without that mark.”

“I, oh.” Ginny stammered. “I’m still telling my brother on you.”

“Me and Harry weren‘t doing anything that would make Ronald mad.”

“I‘m still telling him that you were in there with him.”

“Go ahead. It’s not like he’s going to care.”

“Yes, I think he will.”

“Here’s a wake up call, he won’t care.”

“What makes you think that?”

“Only because Ronald has been chasing after me for years and now he finally has me…”

“So.”

“Do you honestly think that he is just going to let me go? Think about Gin, how long as he been
after me?”

“I, oh.”

Hermione put her robes back on and began to walk off. Ginny began to run after her. She turned
around and told her to fuck off and kept walking. She went back into the compartment. She curled
himself up into a little ball on the seat. She didn’t know why, but for some reason she felt very
vulnerable at the moment. She could feel sleep begin to pull her back into it’s grips and she let
it. She knew she needed to sleep.

She shut her eyes and suddenly she wasn’t on the train any longer. She was alone in a room. The
room was painted baby blue. Hermione had a cold chill. She recognized that room. She had been in
this room a few times before and every time she came out hurting like hell. It was her old bedroom
at her parent’s house. Hermione tried to stand up, but she couldn’t. She looked down at her legs,
they were tied to a chair.

She could hear the door behind her open. She knew what was going to happen. She knew that this
was a dream, she tried to wish it away. But she knew that this type of dream doesn’t just go away.
This type of dream is a memory, a memory that your mind will make you relive time and time again.
Hermione suddenly felt like crying, she knew that she was now trapped in her own mind.

The footsteps were coming closer towards her. It became hard for her to breathe. She could feel
the person standing behind her. Her heart began to beat harder and faster. She could feel the
person lean closer to her. Her mouth grew dry. She could feel the person’s breath on the back of
her neck. Hermione smelt something on the person’s breath that seemed permanently stained on the
person’s breath; the smell was the smell of alcohol, to be more specific, he had beer breath.
Hermione suddenly felt like passing out and never waking up again.

Hermione could feel the person touching her. Her body went ridged. She could feel the person
kissing the back of her neck. She felt as though she was now numb. She could feel the person’s hand
slip under her shirt. Hermione felt like she was going to be sick. She could feel the person place
light kisses on the back of her neck. She didn’t dare move, she was too scared to move now.
Hermione could feel one of the person’s hands reach lower and grasped one of her breasts.

The person’s hand began to rub her over the fabric. Hermione felt like she was going to lose her
mind. The person sat himself behind Hermione. Hermione began to take in short, fast breaths. The
person untied Hermione’s legs. He then grabbed Hermione’s legs and pulled them up and pushed them
apart making her look like she was in the missionary style position. Hermione felt like she was
going to die. The other person now wrapped his legs around Hermione’s so he could keep them open
without having to use his hands. Hermione felt like crying.

Hermione could feel the man slip his hand underneath her skirt. A tear began to roll down
Hermione’s cheek. Hermione could feel the man rub his hand against her. Hermione now began to
cry.

“Stop that whining. You better do what I want or you’re only going to make it worse for
yourself.” Hermione stopped crying. “Now, that’s better. When I touch you, I want you to like it.”
Hermione gave a nod, she knew what she was supposed to do.

At that moment, Hermione instantly knew which memory she was reliving. It was the memory, where
her father touched her inappropriately. She felt like crying.

The man slowly took Hermione’s skirt off of her. Hermione felt like crying again but she knew
better. Hermione bit her lip to keep herself from screaming out. Hermione let out a small whimper.
Hermione could feel the man grow hard, for it was pressed against her back.

Suddenly the man stood up and walked around to the front of Hermione. When he looked down at
her; he took his hand and began to smack her across the face. She cried out. She felt pain shoot
across her face. She took one of her legs that was loose and kicked her father as hard as she
possibly could have in the groin.

Hermione felt like she was being ripped apart from the inside out as her father began to hit her
again. Even more tears began to flow down Hermione’s flushed cheeks. Hermione’s arms and legs
jerked violently against the chains as she tried to get up. A loud scream went through the room as
Hermione had lost all control over her body. The pain that she was feeling, was more than she had
ever felt before. She could hear someone screaming her name over and over again.

There was a light in the corner of the room that began to grow brighter and brighter. Hermione
wished with all of her might to go closer to the light. She wanted the light to consume her. She
wanted to get away from the darkness. She could hear the voice calling her name more clearly now.
The voice was so familiar; Hermione knew that she had heard that voice before.

She could tell by the voice that something wasn’t right. The voice sounded so scared, so
frightened. Hermione wanted to call out to the person and ask what was the matter. But for some
reason every time she tried to talk her voice failed her. The light around Hermione grew brighter
and brighter.

Finally, Hermione wasn’t in the pitch black room with the man. She was now back inside the train
compartment with a worried looking Harry staring down at her. Suddenly, Harry bent down and hugged
Hermione and didn’t let her go. Hermione was still so frightened that she jerked hard and fast out
of Harry’s arms; sending Harry straight to the floor.

Hermione backed herself up against the corner of her seat and brought her legs up to her chin.
She wrapped her arms around her legs and began to rock back and forth. She was so confused she
didn’t know what was going on or where she really was. She was almost sure that this was another
trick of her mind’s. She was almost sure that the person in front of her wasn’t Harry. She just
knew that the person was only dressed up as Harry. She knew that it wasn’t Harry.

Chocolate eyes were glaring down the so called Harry Potter as he began to slowly stand up.
Hermione’s body went numb as the person sat down beside her. Her first reaction was to run away and
not come back. Hermione saw the man raise his hand up. Hermione flinched back. She had thought
Harry was going to hit her; like her father had hit her.

Hermione was so frightened of the man she didn’t know what the man wanted from her. Hermione
backed herself up into the corner as far as she possibly could. All she wanted was for this person
to do, was to either leave her alone or just go on with the torturing. Which ever it was Hermione
just wanted the man to go on with it.

Slowly, Hermione lifted her head up and looked at the man. This person who looked so much like
Harry gave her a small smile. Hermione had to look away. She wanted to trust this man because he
looked so much like the man that she loved.

“Hermione? What’s wrong??? Please tell me.”

This man sounded so much like Harry that Hermione’s heart began to break. She didn’t know if
this was Harry or not. She didn’t know if this was another one of Voldemort’s games. She just
didn’t know what to do. All she could do was cry. She cried because if this was another one of
Voldemort’s tricks, then Harry didn’t really care for her.

Hermione looked back up at this Harry and saw something in Harry’s eyes. Her Harry’s eyes. She
could tell that this was not Voldemort’s trick just by the look in Harry’s eyes. Hermione almost
wanted to shout for joy. Her Harry Potter really cared for her. It was all in Harry’s emerald green
eyes. Hermione slowly started to shake her head in disbelief. She couldn’t believe that she had
thought that Harry might have been a Death Eater.

“Please, don’t do that. I know that something is wrong. Just tell me. You can trust me. I’m here
and I’m not leaving. Just tell me, Hermione.”

“You really want to know?” Hermione asked quietly.

“Yes.”

“Are you sure that you really want to know what I dreamed?”

“Hermione, I’m sure. Whatever it is, I’m sure it was just a bad dream.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Harry.” Hermione started, “It wasn’t just a dream.”

“What do you mean?”

“It was a memory of something that had happened.”

“What happened?”

“You know how I told you about my father?”

“Yeah, what happened?”

“Well, I didn’t exactly tell you the whole truth. I didn’t tell you everything that happened
over the summer. One day when my father got really drunk, he came after me. He chained me to a
chair in my bedroom. Then…then…”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me anything, Hermione.”

“No. I want to, I need to tell someone.” Harry nodded and waited for Hermione to continue. “He
walked up behind me and began to… to touch me. Then, after I started to somewhat fight him off, my
father walked in front of me and began to beat me. It’s not like I haven’t been beat before, it’s
just that this time with me chained down, I felt like I was trapped because I couldn’t fight back
at all. The whole time I felt like I was trapped.”

Harry didn’t know what to say. So he didn’t say a thing. Instead, he bent over and wrapped his
arms around Hermione and just held her. Hermione moved into Harry’s embrace and rested there. Harry
was in shock. Harry slowly began to rub his hand soothingly across Hermione’s arm. Hermione
shivered at Harry’s touch. Harry knew that he needed to say something, but he just didn’t know how
to go about it.

Even though no words came out of Harry’s mouth, she felt as though Harry had spoken something
that had touched her heart, her very soul. Hermione couldn’t help but to fall in love with the heat
coming off of Harry’s body. Hermione’s mind began to grow tired and weak and all she waned to do
was fall back asleep. As her eyelids began to close once more, the memory of the dream she just had
flashed through her mind once again; her eyes slammed open.

Both of the them did nothing but lie there with each other for sometime. The train slowly began
to slow down and finally came to a stop. Hermione shoved Harry’s arms off of her. Hermione turned
around to where she was facing Harry. Hermione saw the look of hurt across Harry’s face and she
couldn’t help but smile. Hermione leaned in and placed a small kiss upon Harry’s tender lips. Harry
began to kiss back. He didn’t care what he had said before, he wanted Hermione; he loved
Hermione.

Hermione pulled back and looked down at Harry. Harry couldn’t help but just want to lean in and
kiss her again. Harry saw a small smile appeared across the girl’s face, but it was soon replaced
with sadness.

“Thank you.” Hermione whispered ever so softly.

“For what?” Harry asked in confusion.

“For everything.” She sighed. “For showing me love. For showing me people can care. For being
there for me.”

“Hermione,…I…” Harry began to say but struggled with the words, “I would do it again in a
heartbeat. Besides, you’re the one who has shown me love. I’ve never felt love before you.”

“Goodbye Harry.” Hermione placed one last kiss upon Harry’s lips. She grabbed her belongings and
walked out of the compartment.

Harry stood there in complete shock. Harry wanted to scream out to Hermione to stop, to wait.
But he couldn’t find his voice. Harry wanted to hold onto Hermione for the rest of his life. Yet,
his arms wouldn’t reach out and take a hold of her. Harry wanted to run to her. But, it was like
his feet were glued to the floor, he couldn’t move. Harry wanted to be near her. Yet, every time
when she got around him, he knew he needed to let her go. All Harry wanted was Hermione.

Finally, after Hermione had left Harry’s sight, he gathered his belongings and walked out of the
train compartment. As he was walking out, Hermione, Ron, Dean, Ginny, Seamus, and Neville walked
by. Ginny glared at him. Harry hung his head in shame. Ron gave Harry a half hearted smile before
turning back to Hermione. It almost killed Harry to see Hermione walking with Ron; with Ron’s arm
around her holding her lovingly. Hermione came up to Harry and gave him a hug, when Ginny wasn’t
looking. The others didn’t even pay any attention to him.

They just walked past and pretended like he wasn’t even there. Harry watched them all walk
ahead. He watched them all laugh and tell jokes. Harry watched all of his former friends walk away
and just leave him standing there completely alone. He wanted to go up to them and join in on their
jokes and fun, but he knew he was no longer welcome to hang with them. He knew he was no longer one
of their mates.

As he exited the train he saw that there was only two carriages left. He watched all of his old
friends get into one, so he decided to go over to the other. Harry’s shaking hand reached the
handle to the door and little by little began to open the door. At first, Harry thought that the
compartment was empty, until he saw Hermione sitting in the corner of the carriage staring
attentively. Hermione’s chocolate eyes glared at Harry for a moment before they realized who it
was.

“‘Mione how did you get in here? I mean, I thought I just saw you go into the carriage with
Ron.”

“No, when he was talking to Ginny, I just walked off. He probably won’t even notice that I’m
gone until we get up to the castle.”

Harry let himself fall into the seat directly across from Hermione. Hermione let a small smile
appear on her face as she stared into the eyes of Harry James Potter. They sat in the silence for a
few minutes. Harry could tell that Hermione wanted to say something, but she just wasn’t saying
it.

“Harry…” Hermione slowly began.

“What?” Harry replied.

“I…um…I don’t know how to put this…”

“Then just say it.”

“Well, this afternoon when we…when we…well you know…”

“Yeah, I know.” Harry replied as a smile appeared on his face as he remembered what all they had
done. “What about it?”

“When you were undressed I noticed something.”

“What?”

“That you have cuts, really bad cuts up and down your arms.”

When Harry heard that Hermione had noticed he began to cross his arms. His mind began to run
over a million different questions. Harry didn’t want Hermione to know that he had cut himself.
Harry didn’t want Hermione to begin to worry over him, when Hermione already had enough to worry
about. When Harry didn’t say anything Hermione continued talking.

“I know that they are probably from your uncle…but, Harry, how did you get those marks on your
arm?”

“Well…I…um, they’re from my uncle.” Harry began to lie. “One time when he…when he beat me… I
began to fight him off of me. So he beat me into submission, then drug me to the bathroom, grabbed
a few of his spare razor blades, and he…he cut me with them.”

By the time Harry was done speaking, Hermione had wished that she would have never asked the
question. She could tell that when Harry began to talk about what his uncle did to him, it hurt
him. Hermione didn’t want to make Harry live in the past. Hermione didn’t want to make Harry have
to relive the nightmarish things that his uncle had done to him. Hermione didn’t want to be the
person in Harry’s life that also reminded him of what had happened to him over the summer
break.

Hermione felt like kicking herself in the arse for what she had just done to Harry. She knew
that if she was Harry, that all she would want to do is try and forget everything that had
happened, that she would try and pretend that nothing had ever happened. She knew that she most
likely would have cried if anyone would have brought up the subject and make her relive all the
pain that she had tried so hard to put behind her.

The chocolate eyes looked up into the worried emerald green eyes. Hermione saw the hurt and pain
inside of Harry’s eyes, but what Hermione didn’t know was the real reason behind the pain and hurt.
Hermione thought the pain and hurt was from the question that she had asked and how she had made
Harry relive the past with his uncle. But the real reason only Harry knew.

The real reason why Harry’s eyes showed hurt and pain was because he had lied to Hermione‘s
face. The one person that he trusted, the one person that actually showed love towards him, the one
person that cared for him, the one person that opened their heart to him and he just went off and
lied to her face. It hurt Harry to lie to Hermione like that.

Yet, at the same time he knew that Hermione was too close to the truth. It pained Harry to know
that someone was this close to finding out his little secret. It pained him to know that if
Hermione really knew the real reason that he might lose Hermione forever. It pained him because he
didn’t want anyone to know what he was doing. He didn’t want anyone to think that they could help
him or stop him. Harry just wanted everything to disappear. He could take care of it himself. He
didn’t want anyone else’s help.

Harry and Hermione both sat in silence for some time. Both Harry and Hermione let out a gasp of
surprise as the carriage began to head towards the school. A small smile appeared on both
Gryffindors’ faces.

“Harry…” Hermione whispered ever so softly.

“What?” Harry said in shock. Hermione’s voice had spooked him.

“Did you really mean it?” Hermione asked nervously.

“Did I mean what?” Harry asked confusedly.

“That it was the last time? That we shouldn’t see each other anymore?”

“Yeah, I did.” Harry replied very quietly.

“Oh…okay…” Hermione said disappointedly.

“But I don’t know if I mean that now.” Harry spoke eagerly.

“Why wouldn’t you?” Hermione asked, she was shocked that Harry might actually change his
mind.

“I don’t know…it’s just that I haven’t ever really had anyone to talk to and… well…”

“You can talk to me?” Hermione suggested.

“Yeah…” Harry said relieved.

“Harry,…I…I don’t think that I could just let go of you like that…I… I mean you’re the only
trustworthy friend I have and it’s nice…you know…to have someone. Someone I can count on.”

“Hermione, I want to be there for you, just that…well, a lot of things happen to me that I don’t
really expect to happen. I mean, I let a lot of people down. I don’t think I could stand myself if
I ever *really* let you down.”

“Oh…”

Neither Harry nor Hermione would say another word. Both wanted to be with each other, both were
starting to form feelings for the other, both wanted nothing more than to be able to be with each
other, but mainly they just wished that their lives weren’t so different from each other. They
wished that their futures and their lives were leading in the same direction. They wished that
their fate and their lives weren’t meant to be so different from the others.

Harry looked over at Hermione. Harry knew that it was going to be hard to stay away from her. He
knew that it was going to be hard to stay away from the one he loved. He knew that it would
literally rip his heart. He knew that Hermione would be there for him if he needed her. He knew
that in the days to come things were only going to get worse. He knew that none of his friends were
going to be his friends anymore. He knew that there would be even more pain in his future than in
his past. He knew that no matter what was going to happen that eventually he would have to face his
uncle. He knew that he would have to face his problems with his cutting. But, the biggest problem
was that Harry knew, eventually, he would have to face himself.

To Be Continued…

**Author’s Note:** Well, that was a long chapter. Anyway, it was fun to write though. Review
if you feel like it, I’m tired of begging for them. Just so you know, me and my friends haven’t got
together to write the rest of our little dialog. I’ll continue our retarded story Wednesday.



7. Goodbye
----------



**Author's Note: :** I want to thank all of the people who have reviewed. It just makes
me feel all bubbly when I see that I've got a new review! I also want to thank my two best
friends who also happen to be my beta readers, Kg Potter and Keyan Rews. THANKS GUYS!!

**Chapter 7**

**Goodbye**

Bumping along down the road, the carriage slowly made its way towards Hogwarts. Harry looked out
the window to see how close they were getting to the school. He was looking to see how close he was
to having to tell Hermione good-bye. He was looking to see how close all of his new enemies and old
friends will live. He was looking to see how close to the end of the summer he was. He was looking
to see just how far away all of his future problems lay.

Tears began to glisten in emerald eyes as they realized that all too soon that he would have to
tell one of the only people that he loved good-bye. The carriage slowly made its way closer and
closer towards Hogwarts. Sooner than later the carriage reached Hogwarts. Harry cautiously walked
out of the carriage. Turning around to say good-bye to Hermione, Harry was surprised with a tender
kiss on the lips.

Losing all self-control Harry wrapped his arms around Hermione and began to kiss her like he
knew he would never be able to hold her in his arms again. Harry desperately kissed her; he never
wanted to break away from her. He wanted to be connected to her forever. But he knew that she would
pull away, that she would go back into Ron's arms, and that she would leave him alone once
again.

A hand crept up Harry's back and began to trace up and down his spine. Harry couldn't
help but to moan into their secret kiss. Harry felt Hermione's arms wrap themselves around him
like they too didn't want to let go, that they wanted to stay there in their little comfort
zone.

Pulling away, Harry let a small, seductive smile appear on his usually sorrowed face. Hermione
stood up on her tiptoes and place another kiss on Harry's swollen lips. Harry let his hands rub
Hermione's back in a comforting manor. Harry bent down to Hermione's height and gently
began to nuzzle against her neck. He took in deep breaths trying to memorize Hermione's scent.
Harry pulled away from her to let the memory of this moment, of her beauty, of everything to become
a permanent memory; one memory that Harry knew would be hard to lose or forget.

Tightening his grip around her, he pulled her into a closer hug, a more intimate hug. Harry
could feel Hermione shudder against him. Harry just wanted this moment to last forever. He just
wanted to stand their and keep Hermione in his arms for the rest of time. Harry didn't care
what happened to anything or anybody else; he just wanted this, he just wanted peace with himself,
he wanted someone who he could love, he wanted someone who would love him, mainly, he just wanted
Hermione.

Wetness began to seep into Harry's shirt. Harry pulled back away from Hermione only to find
her sobbing against his chest. Chocolate, sad eyes looked up at Emerald, worried eyes.

“Hermione? What's wrong?” Harry gently spoke out to her.

“This…everything.”

“What do you mean? Tell me, `Mione.”

“I shouldn't be doing this with you.”

“Why not?”

“Because, Harry, I'm with Ron! I'm not supposed to be *here* in your arms. I'm
not supposed to be here kissing you! I just, I just shouldn't.”

“Says who?”

“Everyone.”

“Screw them Hermione. Just do what *you* want to do. Don't do what everyone wants you
to do. If you only do what `they' want then you'll never make yourself happy. You have to
do what you want. Do what feels right, `Mione.”

“I know, I know. I like being here, in your arms. It's just that…I know I'm not supposed
to be here.”

“If it doesn't feel right then don't do it.” Harry said as he slowly began to let go of
her.

“No, no, no. *This* feels right. I like being here in your arms. I want to be here with
you. I always want to be with you. It's just, well, I can't help but to think that it's
just wrong.” Hermione said hurriedly as she went back into his arms.

“I don't care if it's wrong or right. I want to be here, and only with you. I don't
want anything else. I just want you.”

“I want you too. It's just…it's just…”

“What?”

“Once we go back in there, we'll never get to see each other any longer. I'll never get
to lay in your arms and fall asleep. I'll never get to wake up next to you. I'll never be
allowed to see you. I'll no longer get to spend time with you. I'll have to be with
Ron.”

“I know…that's why I never want to let you go. That's why I just want to stand here with
you in my arms for the rest of my life.”

“I don't want to have to go back. I don't want to have to go back to not really having
you in my life.”

“Then don't.”

“What?”

“Don't go back to that, Hermione. Stay here, stay here with me.”

“Harry, you know I can't. I'm with Ron.”

“Do you love Ron?”

“What?”

“I said Do you love Ron?”

“I don't know. Besides I don't see how that's any of your business. There are many
factors in whether you love someone or not.”

“It's a yes or no question, Hermione. Do you *love* Ron?”

“I, well, I don't know. I guess not.”

“Then leave him. Leave him and stay with me. Please, I don't think I could stand it if I saw
you with him.”

“Harry, I can't just leave him for his best friend.”

“I'm obviously not his best friend anymore.”

“What makes you say that.”

“The fact that anytime anyone says anything about me in front of him he doesn't stick up for
me. In fact, he doesn't say anything at all anymore.”

“I still don't think that I could do that to him.”

“Hermione…please…do you love me? Just tell me…what do you want?”

Harry watched as the girl pulled away from him. Harry noticed that the girl looked up at him in
confusion. He saw that the girl was thinking things over. Harry could tell that Hermione was
drifting away. Harry could tell that he was losing his Hermione yet again. Harry knew that Hermione
didn't know what she wanted.

All Harry could hope for was just that maybe, Hermione would want him just as much as he wanted
her. Harry hoped with all of his heart that Hermione wouldn't turn her back on him. Harry was
hoping that in the end Hermione would once again be in his arms.

“Harry…I…love you…but…” Hermione mumbled into his shirt.

“What?” Harry said as he gently ran his fingers through her hair.

“I just don't think that things will work out…not for now.” Hermione began to softly speak.
“I just need sometime to sort out all of my feelings. I need to find out what's going on. I
mean, everything has just happened so fast between us and…”

“And what?”

“Harry…I don't know what I want…I just need to think things over before I make any
decision.”

Harry stood there in complete shock. He didn't know what to say to the girl who was snuggled
in his strong arms. He didn't know how to make the tears stop falling from her eyes. He
didn't know whether to hold on to her tight or just let her go. He didn't know how to
comfort her. He just didn't know what to say to her. So, he didn't say anything to her. He
just held on to her tight. He didn't dry her tears, but gave her a shoulder to cry on. He
didn't comfort her; he didn't do anything at all. He just stood there holding her in his
arms, which was more comforting than any words he could have spoken to her.

A loud cracking noise appeared next to them. Harry and Hermione both jumped and moved away from
each other as they noticed that the carriage slowly began to be carried away by the Thestrals.
Harry grabbed onto Hermione even tighter. He could literally feel Hermione begin to slip away.
Harry felt a tear begin to escape from his eye.

Harry felt Hermione shudder against him. Harry looked down at her. Harry could see a flicker of
fear in her eyes before it was replaced by a mask, covering her emotions. All Harry knew was that
he couldn't lose her. She was the one thing holding him down on the earth. Without her, Harry
thought he just might lose his mind.

Stumbling backwards a bit, Harry felt Hermione begin to push him off. Harry reached around her
and held her tight. He didn't want her to leave him again. Harry began to cry as he felt the
one girl he loved shoving him off of her. Harry couldn't take it any more; he let her go. He
let her walk away from him. He watched her begin to walk right out of his life.

The raven-haired boy couldn't take it any longer he called out to her, “Hermione! Please! I
love you!”

Harry watched her snap her head back towards him. Emerald eyes met chocolate once again. Harry
watched Hermione begin to run back towards him. Harry held his arms open; Hermione jumped up into
Harry's open arms. She placed her pale pink lips upon Harry's blood read lips. Harry began
to kiss her like a mad man.

Interlocking their fingers together, Harry had thought that maybe, just maybe Hermione was going
to stay with him. Harry could feel Hermione backing away from him once again. Harry looked down
into her eyes and saw a tear begin to make a path down her cheek. Harry raised a hand to wipe away
that tear, but Hermione moved her head out of Harry's reach.

“I love you, Harry.” Hermione slowly said.

“I love you, too.”

“Harry, no. You're not listening to me.” She continued. “I love you, but I can't be with
you.”

“Hermione…please…don't…” Harry didn't want Hermione to walk away yet again. Harry would
fall down onto his knees and beg her to stay if he knew it would do any good whatsoever.

“Harry, I just can't. I love you so much more than anything. I don't want to break your
heart. I don't want to make you sad.”

*What is she thinking about? Leaving me would break my heart. Leaving me would make me sad.
Staying with me would fill me with love. Staying with me would keep me happy.*

“Hermione…you can't…”

“I have to do this. I have to sort out a few things with Ronald first.”

“Hermione, please, don't go. I need you, I want you, I love you.”

“Harry, stop making this harder. It's hard enough to walk away from you.”

“Then don't walk away. Stay here. Stay here with me.”

“I can't Harry. I love you too much to break your heart.”

“Hermione you leaving will break my heart.”

“I…I can't stay here.”

“please…”

“Harry, I have to go. I'll come back to you…”

Hand in hand still, Harry saw Hermione slowly walk away. Harry's fingers were still holding
onto her desperately. As she walked away, Harry could feel his fingers slowly slipping away from
Hermione's. Harry could feel Hermione slowly slipping away from him. Harry could feel Hermione
disappear.

All to soon, Harry fingers weren't holding anything besides air. Hermione had let go of him.
Harry felt his heart break into a thousand tiny little pieces.

**bqbqbqbqbqbq**

“Hermione…please…do you love me? Just tell me…what do you want?”

Hermione was a little taken back. Did she love Harry? Did she love Ron? Did she even love either
one of them? Hermione's thoughts were just jumbled up that she couldn't tell you who or
what she loved. Hermione looked up into the eyes of her former lover. She became breathless; she
wanted to hold on to him yet shove him away. She just wanted everything and more.

Thoughts were swirling through Hermione's head. She couldn't think of what she wanted to
do anymore. She knew she loved Harry, but at the same time, Ron held a special part in her heart
too. Hermione loved both of her boys. She just didn't know which one to choose over the
other.

A loud gasp came from the emerald-eyed boy as Hermione saw the carriage make its way down the
path and away from Hogwarts. Hermione jumped a bit away from Harry but then threw herself back into
Harry's arms. She didn't know what she wanted. But she did know that she didn't want to
be anywhere besides with Harry, wrapped up in his arms, and feeling completely safe and secure.

Hermione held onto Harry for dear life. She didn't want to have to make a decision. She
didn't want to break somebody's heart. She didn't want her heart to break either. She
didn't want to lose him again; she didn't want him to slip through her fingers yet again.
She never wanted this moment to end. She never wanted to have to tell him good-bye but she knew
that she must.

All she wanted was to be wrapped in his warm arms. She wanted to know that she was safe. She
wanted to know that she would be loved forever. She wanted to know that Harry cared. She wanted to
be able to look into his beautiful green eyes anytime she wanted. She wanted to be able to run her
fingers through his raven hair whenever the urge struck her. Most of all, Hermione just didn't
want this moment to end.

Hermione looked up into Harry's eyes and saw fear. She then knew what she had to do.
Hermione couldn't let Harry fall in love with her. It wasn't right, she had no right
whatsoever to break or play with his heart like this. Hermione couldn't stand to know that she
of all people could make or break Harry James Potter.

She pulled herself out of Harry's grip. She knew she had to get away from him. Harry tried
to hold on to her, but she just continued to shove him off. Hermione was wishing that Harry would
just let go of her. Finally, she broke free from his clutch. Hermione could see Ron slowly turning
their way.

*Doesn't he understand? Doesn't he know that loving me will only bring him more pain?
Doesn't he know that I'll only break his heart even more? I have to make him understand. I
have to make sure that he knows that I don't want to hurt him. He has to know that I'm no
good for him. He needs to know that I can't bring him happiness. But I just can't leave
him! Not like this anyway!*

Running away, Hermione's mind was screaming for her to turn around and go back to
the-boy-who-lived. Hermione wanted to turn around and go back. But she knew, if she turned around,
she didn't know if she would have the strength to walk away yet again. She knew now that she
had turned around there was no going back; at least not for now. That's when she heard it.
That's when she heard the raven-haired boy call out to her, “Hermione! Please! I love you!”

That was all it took. All she needed to hear was that Harry wanted her as much as she wanted
him. Hermione turned around and ran towards him as fast as her legs would carry her. She needed
*this* boy in her life. She didn't need Ron. She didn't need Viktor. She didn't
need anyone besides him. Harry Potter was the one.

“I love you, Harry.” Hermione slowly said.

She did love him, but she just didn't want to have to say it. She didn't want to confuse
his feelings for her. She didn't want to lead him on. She didn't want to make him love her.
She didn't want to love him. But all of this, all of Harry, was one sin that Hermione wanted to
commit more than anything in the world.

“I love you, too.” She heard it whisper through his full red lips.

“Harry, no. You're not listening to me.” She continued. She just had to make him understand.
She had to make him listen and know. She had to tell him about how much she loved him, yet that the
way things were at the moment; she could in no possible way be with him. She couldn't. She was
with Ron. She could feel herself growing feelings for Ron, but she knew her heart belonged to
Harry. She knew that she should give Ron a chance, but she also knew that she shouldn't deny
her love that she has right now with Harry. “I love you, but I can't be with you.”

“Hermione…please…don't…” She heard his gentle voice pleading.

“Harry, I just can't. I love you so much more than anything. I don't want to break your
heart. I don't want to make you sad. I know that I love you, but right now I'm just so
confused about everything. I just need sometime to sort out my thoughts.”

“Hermione…you can't…”

“I have to do this. I have to sort out a few things with Ronald first.” Hermione pleaded with
him. Hermione could see the hurt in his eyes. She could tell that she was slowly breaking his
heart; that she was slowly ripping his heart from his chest. Hermione knew that what she was doing
was unforgivable; but she had to.

“Hermione, please, don't go. I need you, I want you, I love you.”

“Harry, stop making this harder. It's hard enough to walk away from you.”

“Then don't walk away. Stay here. Stay here with me.”

“I can't Harry. I love you too much to break your heart.”

“Hermione you leaving will break my heart.”

“I…I can't stay here.”

“please…”

“Harry, I have to go. I'll come back to you…”

Hermione could still feel Harry's strong able hand against her own. She could feel the heat
slowly leave his hand. Hermione could feel Harry grow cold. She looked up into his charming jade
eyes one more time. She had to turn away; she could feel the tears begin to swell up in her eyes.
She knew that if she didn't leave now, that she never would.

Gradually Hermione began to move her legs and walk away from the boy whose hand she was still
holding. She let her hand slip out of his grip. She let herself walk away. She let herself break
his heart. She didn't look back, because she didn't want to see what she would be missing
out on. She didn't want to look back because she didn't want Harry to see the tears in her
eyes. She didn't want to look back because she didn't want to see what she had done to the
poor boy.

So, instead of turning away, she walked forward. She let the tears dry on her face; she held her
head up high as she reentered the school. She walked quickly until she caught up with Ron. She let
her hand become interlocked with his.

“`Mione where you been?”

“That's not important now is it?” She said slyly.

“No, I guess it's not.” Ron said as he wrapped his arms around her and placed a light kiss
upon her lips.

Hermione could feel herself being dragged away by Ron. She could feel herself being pulled into
the Great Hall. Hermione looked around. She was trying to find someone. That someone who happened
to have green eyes and raven hair. She didn't see him. She also didn't she the usually fan
club that follows him around.

She felt herself being pulled down to sit at the table. As Dumbledore was talking, she
couldn't help that her eyes began to wonder around the room looking for him. All she wanted was
just to know where she was.

That's when she saw him. He was sitting alone at the very end of the Gryffindor table. In
fact, no one was sitting even five feet near him. Hermione began to feel horrible. It looked as
though people were avoiding him like a plague. Hermione felt her heart sink as she continued to
stare at him. She felt an arm sneak around her and pull her tight.

She felt Ron lean in and began to whisper, “Don't look at him, `Mione. You'll just make
things worse.”

Ron had caught her off guard. How did he know what she was thinking? Did he know what had
happened? What did he mean? Does he really know? “What?”

“Don't look at him. I don't want Ginny to see you staring at him then having her yell at
all of us for why we are supposed to stay away from him. I've already had enough lectures.”

“Oh…okay.” Hermione could feel the weight lift off of her chest. He didn't know. He never
would know. She would never let him know what was going on.

**Author's Note:** From now on, I am only going to update on Saturday. Having to update
and write like this is becoming a major hassle and frankly I don't have the time or the energy
to write like this every week. So, from now on I'll see you every Saturday! By the way,
don't forget to review!

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