Blood Ties

diggingupophelia

Rating: R
Genres: Humor
Relationships: Draco & Ginny
Book: Draco & Ginny, Books 1 - 5
Published: 27/02/2005
Last Updated: 28/02/2005
Status: paused

Draco and Ginny experience a horrible day. Response to the lj 30 minute fic s community -- horrible day. No longer a one-shot, I've decided to expand... but I still think it is funny. Also Harry/Hermione ... R/R Rated R for language.

Chapters

1. Blood Ties (1/1)

2. Harry's Reaction

3. Friendly Little Chats

4. And the day gets worse

5. More problmes

6. The Day Before the Wedding

7. The Wedding

1. Blood Ties (1/1)

Title: Blood Ties

Rating: R for language

Time: 35 minutes including spell check

Challenge: 64 The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Characters/Parings: Draco/Ginny, Harry/Hermione (implied), their children.

Notes: I hate naming any sprogs of canon characters … so don't pick on them, I just used the first ones that popped into my head. I tried for funny…I've been in that mood lately, but again, I'll let you judge. Now maybe my muse will let me get some essays done for class! *crosses fingers* Comments are always appreciated.

For the lj community www.livejournal.com/community/30minutefics

To view all of my completed works and things I don't post anywhere else go to : www.livejournal.com/community/annettefanfic and friend the community for updates - there are a lot of them!

~*~

Draco sat in his favorite chair, located in his study, eyes staring straight ahead, with his arms crossed over his chest. Draco's son, Artie, sat across from his father, eyes staring into his father's, with his arms crossed over his chest. They had been sitting like this for twenty minutes.

“Well, are you going to tell me what that parchment says before I open it, or are you going to force me to do this the hard way, Artie?” asked Draco, not breaking his eye contact.

“You'll find out either way, it doesn't really matter,” replied the 17 year-old sarcastically.

Draco broke eye contact with the teenager sitting across from him and reached over to the side table where the letter had been placed. Draco flipped the letter over and broke the wax seal. The letter had come from the Potters, it was never good news when it came by way of letter. That meant Hermione had taken it upon herself to sort the issue out. There would be no end to this mess until Hermione was satisfied, and that was not an easy task. Draco read the letter, all ten pages of it, twice. By the end of the second read he was squinting to decipher Hermione's cramped handwriting, perfected by many years of attempting to squeeze vast amounts of information into a small space.

Draco sighed and set the letter down. “This is a right mess you've gotten yourself into, son,” said Draco. He only used the epithet, when Artie was in serious trouble. Unfortunatley for the boy, he had heard it a lot while growing up.

“It isn't like we planned it, Dad,” said Artie.

“Well that would be fairly obvious. I have taught you better than that. But you've done it this time. Once your mother hears about this from Aunt Hermione … bloody hell, sounds so incestuous …” he began.

“We aren't really related…”

“I know the story, Artie,” Draco cut him off, curtly. “Hermione writes that Lily is four months along. How long have you two known?”

“Since the week before we came home,” he replied.

“And you didn't think to tell us? Neither one of you said a word. Hermione only found out because she took Lily to St. Mungo's for her annual medical. You two should have known that you could come to us.”

“We didn't want you to be angry with us. We were going to tell you …”

“When? After the baby turned eleven and was boarding the Hogwarts' Express? This is just so irresponsible … this whole mess is irresponsible!” Draco said, raising his voice. He immediately pulled himself in check.

“Is Uncle Harry angry?”

“Stop calling him that … it just makes the whole thing even worse,” he said distastefully. “Harry was very upset, however, lucky for you, Lily has him wrapped around her little finger. She has convinced him not to kill you. He, however, has offered you a job.”

“There is no way I am working at that book shop! I have that Apprenticeship with Uncle Severus and I intend on taking it,” he said in a petulant tone.

“That job does not pay anything. You have a family to think of,” Draco began.

“I have money. You have money set aside for University and more, I am a Malfoy heir and I am entitled to the Gringotts….”

“Don't get so bloody arrogant with me. I wasn't going to make you take the job!” Draco yelled. He paused for a second. “Bloody fucking hell!” he shouted.

“What is it Dad?”

“You have, in one single act of frivolous - frivolous - for a shag, have linked me by blood to Harry Potter! Oh hell, it was bad enough with the marriage … fuck!”

“What did you say, Draco?” asked Ginny from the doorway.

Draco sat back in the chair and cradled his head in his hands. “I am related to Harry Potter,” he repeated.

Ginny looked from Draco to Artie. “One of you had better tell me what is going on here,” she said placing a hand on her hips.

Artie took a deep breath and looked his Mum in the eye. “I … Well, congratulations, Grandmum!”

Ginny promptly fainted. She was after all only 36 years old, and about to be a grandmother.

~*~

Ginny opened her eyes to find Artie and Draco hovering over her.

“Ginny, love, are you all right?” asked Draco as he helped her into a sitting postion.

“Oh, yes, I just, I thought, Oh Merlin, I am,” she babbled.

“Mum, I am so sorry. Lily and I …”

“I am too young. I was just about to tell you all that I was pregnant, and now … my grandchild and my child are going to be the same bloody age!”

It was Draco's turn to feel light headed. “Gin, are you sure? I mean I had that Muggle procedure after Aidan and that was …”

“Obviously not a success,” she retorted. “We can worry about that later. Now we need to call Harry and Hermione and Lily and sort this mess out.”

“Would you like to read Hermione's letter before you call them over?”

“And go blind with all that squinting?” she asked. “No, we'll Floo them and then we can work this out.”

“Gin, you know that Harry and I are going to have at it for sure. I mean my son did defile his daughter,” he said in hopes of staving off the inevitable.

“That is rubbish,” she replied, anger evident in her voice. “Artie!” she yelled. “What in Merlin's name were you thinking? Didn't you think to cast the appropriate charms or make a potion? You are so gifted with them! I should have hexed your zipper shut!” she yelled.

Artie stepped back from his mother with every step she took toward him. Soon he found himself literally backed into a corner.

“What have you got to say for yourself,” said Ginny in an eerily calm voice.

“It was an accident, Mum, I am sorry,” he said in a voice barely above a whisper.

“So by some freak accident I am related to Harry Potter?” cried Draco. “This is the absolute worst day of my life. Even in relation to your uncles tying me to that tree covered in honey when they found me in your Mum's room before we were married,” he whined.

“Draco, there are other things to worry about here, like the fact that I am going to be a grandmother at the age of 36! I am too young for this!”

“Gin, you are missing the point,” began Draco.

“No, you are missing the point …”

“You are both missing the point,” cut in Artie. “ I am going to be a father and a husband. This is the point. Yes, it is a family ordeal, but this has the greatest impact on Lily and myself,” he stated. But this fell on deaf ears. Ginny had left the room while he wasn't paying attention, and Draco was sitting in his chair shaking his head repeating, “Harry Bloody Potter”. The Malfoy household had definitely seen better days.

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2. Harry's Reaction

A/N: I have decided to add more. There is still at least one more chapter after this. Artie and Harry need to have a little talk. Reviews are appreciated. Thank you in advance!

~*~

Chapter 2

~*~

“Harry, I have warned you, and I am not afraid to hex you, stop acting so bloody childish,” said Hermione as she removed her cloak. She, Harry, and Lily had just arrived at the Malfoy's estate.

Ginny heard the commotion in the foyer and went to greet her friends. “Hello, Hermione, Harry,” she said. “And Lily, dear, how are you feeling?”

“Fine, Aunt Ginny,” she replied.

“This is just weird,” commented Harry. “ I mean this feels so … wrong. Aside from the fact that she is still a child…”

“Daddy!” said Lily in a raised voice. “We have been over this. You and Mum were only two years older when you had me and that goes for Artie's parents, too.”

“But you, Lily, are my daughter, and you should have remained innocent until you were at least thirty!”

“Harry, would you stop this nonsense,” scolded Hermione.

Ginny giggled. “Draco isn't acting any better, I can assure you.”

Right on cue, Draco entered the foyer. “A Potter, in my bloody family tree. Never has been one before and now … my son has put an end to …”

“Oh shut up!” chastised Ginny. She then turned and called her son. “Artie! Lily is here.”

Artie came running down the corridor. As soon as Harry saw Artie, his anger returned in a flash. “I'll kill the little bastard! I swear to Merlin, you … you've ruined Lily's life … you tied her down and now now …” he said in a very calm and cold voice. Each word brought him a step closer to Artie.

Draco stepped in front of his son. “Harry, look, I am not happy about this either … and…”

Artie chose this moment to add an inappropriate comment, “And I didn't tie her down … I asked, but when she said no, I …”

“Artie, shut up,” warned Draco. “This is not the time…” Draco was forever warning Artie about saying the wrong thing at the worst time; a trait he had inherited from his Uncle Ron.

“What did you teach your son? Tying down women, what a little pervert. This is your entire fault Draco. You should've taught your son to keep his zipper zipped and blood circulating freely to his brain and not his willy!”

Hermione chuckled.

That only proved to upset Harry further. “Sure, laugh now. When you returned from the seeing the Healer you sure didn't think this was funny! I seem to recall you researching severing and shrinking hexes suitable for human flesh!”

Artie gulped. Draco's hand subconsciously fell to his bits as he grimaced. Ginny stifled a giggle, Lily took the opportunity to position herself next to Artie, and Hermione turned a brilliant shade of red.

“Don't worry Hermione. I understand, if it had been Bernadette I would be researching those hexes too,” whispered Ginny. “Shall we move this into the sitting room? I have tea.”

“It isn't necessary Gin,” replied Harry, “I'd hate to make a mess in your sitting room with all the blood.”

“Harry James Potter!” yelled Ginny. “Might I remind you that this is your godson? Never mind what he has done or whose fault this is, we need to sort some things out here!”

Harry relaxed his stance and released his grip on his wand. “ I am still not happy about this,” he said as he walked the familiar path to the sitting room.”

“Oh, and you think I am,” called Draco as he followed Harry. Harry made it into the sitting room before he replied to that comment.

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

“It means you and I are now linked by blood, a real connection, and it makes me sick to my stomach!”

Harry turned white as the realization hit him. He sat down on the sofa, and ran his hands through his notoriously messy hair as he processed the information. “This sucks,” he said, sounding like a petulant child.

“Tell me about it,” commiserated Draco. “Tea?”

“Sure, two lumps…”

“No bloody milk. I do pay attention you know,” said Draco.

“Really? If you had been paying better attention to your son's shagging habits we wouldn't be in this mess!”

Draco set down the teacup. “If you would've locked your daughter in a tower and put a chastity belt on her, we wouldn't be in this mess!”

Hermione cut in. “Stop it you two. Being related to each other isn't that big of a deal, really. I mean, you are already practically related.”

“But now it is a permanent thing,” stated Harry.

Hermione ignored him. “So, Ginny, how are you feeling?” she asked.

“Old. And tired,” she replied. “A grandmother at 36, while I'm pregnant. I am bloody ecstatic,” she added sarcastically.

Hermione nodded. “I was quite upset at that yesterday,” she paused. “And congratulations ,Gin.” Ginny nodded.

Draco sat in a chair near the fire. “Where are they?”

“In Artie's rooms,” replied Ginny.

“You left them alone?” asked Harry in an alarmed tone.

“How many times do I have to say it? What's done is bloody done. They can't get themselves into any more trouble,” explained Hermione as though she were talking to a small child.

Draco and Harry both made noises of disgusted agreement.

“Right,” said Ginny. “Well, since we are in a position to help them, it seems ridiculous to expect them to give up educational prospects. We can help and…”

“And what, tell them that it is perfectly fine that they have just acted so irresponsibly?” cut in Harry. “They need to learn a lesson.”

“Harry, we've been through this. They have learned a lesson, a lesson that is going to keep on teaching until they die. A child is forever, and is a gift and not a punishment. We don't need to make this any worse. We can help them and we should.”

“As much as I hate it, Harry, Hermione is right,” added Draco.

“Or I could just kill Artie and then …”

“Stop it. How did Hermione's parents react when you and she told them about Lily?”

“They weren't pleased, I can tell you that. My teeth still hurt thinking about that,” said Harry.

“Well you were the daft moron who told him while he was cleaning your teeth,” added Draco. “At least you didn't have six angry siblings tying you to a tree leaving you dressed in nothing but honey. Places I didn't know I had were stuck together for a week.”

“True. But still, we got ours. And he deserves his lesson,” said Harry.

“Oh, no you don't,” said Ginny and Hermione at the same time.

“That isn't going to help matters,” continued Hermione.

“Besides, you can't punish them for doing the very same thing all of us did,” added Ginny.

“Why the bloody hell not?” asked Draco.

“Because, I said so,” retorted Ginny.

“I think Artie and I need to have a talk,” said Harry, getting up from his seat.

Hermione held out her hand. “Wand.”

Harry gave an irritated sigh as he dug in his robe pocket for his wand. “Happy?”

“Give me the spare, too.”

Harry mumbled something and handed over his spare wand. “Now may I go?”

“Promise to behave yourself.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “I promise to behave myself.”

“And not hurt him,” added Ginny.

“And not hurt him,” he repeated. “Can I go now? Honestly, you are treating me like a bloody child.”

“Well, you are acting like one,” offered Hermione with a shrug of her shoulders. “Take Draco with you.”

Draco got up and offered his wand to Hermione. “You better keep it, he can use wandless magic, just in case,” she said.

Draco and Harry made their way up the stairs. Harry saying something about how unfair things were.

~*~

“Oh, Hermione, we are too young to be grandmothers,” said Ginny, in a depressed tone.

“I know, maybe the baby can just call us Aunt Gin and Aunt Hermione,” replied putting Harry's wands in her purse.

“I know it is really silly, but it is so bloody depressing.”

“You should have seen me yesterday, Gin. I was bloody frantic. However, once Harry started in, I had to calm down. You should have seen him. I had to ward the house to stop him from Apparating or using the Floo. He was in a rage.”

“Draco was livid when your owl came. Mostly because you sent the letter, which meant he would have to do things your way. I can't believe you wrote ten pages in such small handwriting.”

“Well, I was angry. I don't even remember what I wrote.” Hermione sipped her tea, and then changed the subject. “How did Draco take the news of the baby, yours I mean?”

“He hasn't had time to process it, really. But once he does, I am sure he'll be upset he went through with the vasectomy … after all that convincing. I am sure you'll be getting a nice Howler from him when he's had a chance to process it.”

“Well, you did ask me…”

“ I know, but Draco doesn't, and I'd like to keep it that way,” she said. “You and Harry should have another …”

“Please, three is enough! We just got the house back. I am not about to change that!” said Hermione. “I can finally read again … in peace, might I add.”

Ginny rolled her eyes. “So what do you suppose is going on up there?”

“Well, we haven't heard any thumps or screams, and Lily hasn't come barreling down the stairs, so I'd wager it is going fairly well,” answered Hermione.

“What if Harry got Draco's wand away from him and cast a silencing charm and …”

“Relax, Gin. They'll be fine.”

As soon as Hermione uttered that sentence there was a loud crash followed by a rush of footsteps down the corridor.

“Bloody hell!” said Ginny.

A second later, Bernadette appeared in the doorway. “Sorry, Mum. Sebastian knocked over the vase in the corridor.”

“I loathe that bloody cat!” commented Ginny. “You'd better fix it before I get up there!”

Bernadette left the room and Ginny and Hermione relaxed, a little, anyway.

-->

3. Friendly Little Chats

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews. I appreciate them, they keep me writing. I have another chapter in store after this one. I was debating on a longer chapter that wraps everything up … but then I got an idea. I hope to add an update once a day until the story is done. I am thinking it should all be done by the weekend *crosses fingers*. Well enjoy, and tell me if it's funny or not.

~*~

Chapter 3

~*~

Harry had slowly made his way to Artie's room. He was trying to calm himself down … completely before he went into the room.

“Come on, Potter, we haven't got all bloody day to wait around for you,” said Draco.

“I could go in now. But I don't want to lose control …”

“Like I am going to let you hurt him,” replied Draco as he walked up to the door and turned the doorknob. “The bloody door is locked.”

Harry walked up to the door and put his ear next to it. He wished he had his Extendable Ears on him, he wasn't too eager to walk in on something he'd rather not see. It was difficult enough to deal with the consequences of said action! “Well, I don't hear anything,” said Harry hopefully.

“They both know how to cast silencing charms, you know. Ok, well, here goes nothing,” Draco said as he pulled out his wand and said, “Alohamora!”

Harry reached for the doorknob and opened the door. He and Draco had their eyes shut, just in case. Harry was the first one to look. He saw Artie and Lily, fully clothed, thank Merlin, sitting on the bed, talking.

“You two, get off that bed, that is what got you into this mess into the first place,” said Draco.

“Actually Dad, we weren't anywhere near a bed …” started Artie in a sarcastic tone.

Harry decided now would be a good time start talking. “Don't be such a smart ass! Really, I don't need to know specifics,” Harry said disgusted. “Now, you come along and you and I are going to have a little chat.”

“Daddy,” said Lily, “you promised you wouldn't hurt him. You swore to me and Mum…”

“Mum has taken my wands away,” he replied crossing his arms, “and Draco has his wand.”

Artie stood up and placed a hand on Lily's shoulder. Harry squared his shoulders and stood to his full height as he saw Artie touch his daughter. Artie looked at Lily, “It's ok, love, I'll be fine.” He looked at Harry. “Let's just get this over with shall we?”

Harry nodded and waited for Artie to lead the way to a private place to talk. Artie led Harry into what he liked to call his study, but really it was a small room with a desk and an empty bookshelf whose sole purpose was to support a model Quidditch Pitch for planning plays. “I'll leave the door open, Uncle Harry.”

“Please, stop calling me that … it just …”

“I know, Dad has already said, makes the whole thing worse.”

Harry took the only seat in the room and left Artie standing. “If you don't take care of her, I'll kill you. You are my godson and I love you, but she is my daughter and I will kill you if you hurt her, understand?”

Artie gulped. “Y..yes, Harry.”

“I hope you have a daughter. You'll then understand. Don't get me wrong, I still think you are wonderful kid, but you've messed with my baby girl!” Harry said as he extended his wand hand. Artie took a step back and stiffened. “Don't worry, I'm not going to hex you now. But not for your benefit, mind, I don't want to upset Lily.”

Artie nodded. “I am going to do my best to take care of her,” he began.

“Your best?” asked Harry skeptically. “Your best is not good enough. You will have to do better than your best!” said Harry coldly.

“Of course, I will,” replied Artie.

“Now, I'll tell you the one thing that really has me … bothered… about this entire situation, I mean aside from the fact that my baby is having a baby, it is that Lily isn't wearing an engagement ring.”

“En… engagement ring?”

“Yes you know, a ring that you give to a woman you are going to marry. You are planning on marrying her, aren't you?”

Artie paused. He really hadn't thought about that. He had planned on living with her and being there for the baby, but marriage was a big step. He wasn't going to admit that to Harry, he didn't have a death wish. “I was planning on it,” he lied. “I just haven't had time to get a proper ring.”

Harry reached into his pocked. `Oh, bloody hell,' thought Artie, `he's smuggled a wand up here and he is going to kill me. He used Legilimency and figured out I lied. Nice going idiot, lie to the savior of the bleeding wizarding world!' He ducked back as Harry removed his hand and shut his eyes.

Harry laughed. “I already told you, I'm not going to hurt you, today, anyway. Lucky for you, I happen to have a ring in my pocket, that is suitable for use as an engagement ring!” he said. Artie took the box from Harry's hand.

“Thanks.”

“It's for her, not you, she deserves the best,” said Harry. He was going to add a scathing comment along the lines of `it isn't you' , but decided he liked having his testicles attached to his body, so for fear of Hermione's wrath, he shut his mouth. “And another thing, I don't want to hear another bloody word about what you and Lilly … did or do … when you are alone in your … just I can't even think about it!”

“Yeah, sorry about that, Harry,” said Artie, sheepishly.

“Honestly, how would you feel if your parents and me and Hermione filled you in on all of the details of our bedroom activities?”

Artie visibly shuddered. “Gross.”

“Exactly. Better yet, you won't have any stories to tell if you keep your pants on and your trousers zipped … understand?”

Artie nodded.

“Well, our little chat is over for now.”

Artie rushed to the door. `Thank Merlin that is over!'

~*~

While Artie was tucked away with Harry in another room, Draco decided to take a moment to sit down and talk with Lily. He was really unsure of how to proceed. He wanted to be sure he didn't make her cry. He couldn't handle a crying female. He just couldn't.

“Un..I mean, Draco, I am so sorry,” she started. “I didn't mean, we didn't mean for this to happen. The whole thing was … like I told Mum, it was just once and it was …”

“Spare me the details, please. There are just some things I don't need to picture, love,” he said, surprisingly in good humor.

“Well, you sure are taking this better than dad did,” she said.

“Don't fool yourself, I am in a right state. The shock has yet to wear off. I just can't allow myself to upset you. So what are your plans? I mean for the immediate future.”

“Well, I am going to have a baby,” she said, as it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Before that?”

“I'm going to be pregnant?” she asked.

“When are you two getting married?”

“Artie hasn't asked.”

Draco stood up and balled his fists. He hated when his son did asinine things, such as this. Sometimes the Weasley side was just too evident in his son. “Well he will.”

Lily said nothing.

“You two haven't even discussed this?”

“No, we had more pressing issues to deal with,” she said.

“Really such as?”

“Such as how we're both going to go on with Apprenticeships at Hogwarts next year, you know I was offered a Transfiguration Apprenticeship. And how we were going to tell you about the babies.”

“Well, I can … wait a second, did you say babies, as in more than one?”

“Yes.”

“But your Mother didn't mention anything about that in her letter…”

“No one knows yet, my Healer just Flooed before we left the house. I was trying to tell Mum, but she just rushed me out of the house telling me things were going to be fine.”

Draco got very pale, all of a sudden.

“Uncle Draco, are you all right,” asked Lily, very concerned.

“Yes … I … well … I think I need to lie down,” he said. “Lily, just how many babies, exactly?” he asked as he went to lie down on Artie's bed.

“Twins, they run on the Weasley side of the family,” she said.

“Ok, at least it isn't triplets,” he said in an attempt to calm himself.

“Too right that is,” agreed Lily.

Artie was walking into the room as Lily told Draco this unexpected news and Harry was right behind him. Artie felt faint. “Twins,” he said as he began to fall back. Harry stepped aside and let Artie fall to the floor.

Lily heard the thump and saw Artie, “Daddy!” she yelled.

The sound of the thump accompanied by Lily's cry alerted Bernadette. She came into the room. Draco assessed the situation and decided to keep Ginny and Hermione away from it for the time being. “Go tell your mother that your cat broke something,” he ordered. He then looked at Harry. “Twins!” was all he could say.

~*~

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4. And the day gets worse

A/N: Looks like this is going to turn out to be longer than a ficlet. Let me know how I'm doing.

~*~

Chapter 4

~*~

Hermione and Ginny were sitting in silence in the sitting room when they heard a commotion upstairs. There was shouting, mostly done by Lily, and voices trying to calm her down, mostly Harry's.

“I said, no Dad. There is no way. You did this. Not him. You and Uncle Draco just decided that it would be best. What about what we want?”

“I am looking out for you, and stop …”

“Saying, “Uncle Draco”, I know I know.”

“Hermione, will you please talk some sense into your daughter!” called Harry.

“Oh, now she is my daughter. What did our daughter do?”

“She won't accept Artie's proposal!”

“Proposal?” asked Hermione, obviously confused. “You mean he just did that now?”

“He apparently hadn't even thought about it. Honestly, those two are just getting more and more irresponsible by the second,” added Harry. “And this isn't the worst of it!”

“What do you mean?”

Just then Draco staggered into the room. He was still very pale. “Twins. They are going to have bloody twins!”

Ginny bolted up from her seat. “I can't handle this. I am too young for all of this drama. Twins and unmarried parents. This just isn't done in our families.” She said looking directly at Lily. “Where is he?” she asked, referring to Artie.

“Here, Mum,” he said from behind his father. “She said no. All because I didn't think of it sooner, and her dad made me ask her!”

“Of course she said no you daft fool,” added Harry. “A woman's idea of a good proposal is not thrusting a box into her hand saying `Here, your dad said I have to give this to you, we'll be married next week.' You could have at least put some effort into it.”

“I was nervous,” said Artie.

“And I don't want to marry someone because my father threatened him,” added Lily.

“Well, now, I am threatening the both of you!” shouted Hermione. “You are going to put that ring on your finger and you two are going to choose a date and you are going to be happy about it! Understand?”

“Yes,” started Artie.

“That was a rhetorical question,” said Hermione. “There is no room for discussion this is what you two are going to do.”

“How can you just force us to get married. You didn't even ask if we love each other or if we want to spend the rest of our lives together,” said Lily in a calm voice.

“Well, my dear, it seems that it is a little late for that. You two will not bring shame upon this family,” came the voice of Lucius Malfoy.

“Father,” said Draco, worry evident in his voice. “When did you arrive?”

“I just apparated in a moment ago. Quite an interesting scene to walk in on. Obviously, Miss Potter, the relations that found you in this mess were consensual, or young Artie here would be hanging from the nearest tree.”

“Father, really, we can handle this.”

“Draco, as head of this family, I reserve the right to handle these matters,” he added.

“Grandfather, please. We're going to be married. I just …”

“Exercised your Weasley charm again?” he asked. “No offence Ginevra,” he added. “How many times have your father and I discussed this matter? You will come along with me and we shall have a little chat.”

“No. I've had enough little chats and threats today, thank you. I will fix this my way. I wish everyone would just relax. Lily and I are having a baby, well two, but witches and wizards do this every day. It isn't as though we are unable to provide for a child or that you are going to make us sacrifice our futures so that we will never be able to take care of these children.”

Everyone in the room was taken a back. Lucius looked rather insulted. Draco's mouth was wide open, no one had ever responded to his father like that before and lived. Harry was trying to figure out the best way to get his wand from Hermione's purse.

“Is that so, Artie? What if I told you that I would cut off your access to the family vaults?” asked Lucius.

Artie was silent.

“Father, really, he's been under a lot of stress today. He didn't mean it, please go back home and we'll sort the matter out,” pleaded Draco.

“Very well, you have until tomorrow to straighten this out. But you and I will talk later,” said Lucius before he Disapparated.

“This day just keeps going from bad to bloody worse,” commented Draco.

“I'll say,” agreed Ginny. “I am going to be a grandmother twice over at the very young age of 36. This is awful. I feel so old,” she said, as she began to cry.

Draco's heart sunk to see his wife cry. “Oh, Love, it'll be all right. You aren't old. On the bright side…”

“There is no bright side!” she yelled. “Do you realize that we are going to have three children running around this house at once?”

“Why can't I just realize this stuff all at once. I can't take any more shocks today! And who said they had to live here? Potter has a sizeable house,” he said.

“Oh, no!” added Hermione. “I finally got my peace and quiet back with James going off to Hogwarts in September. I can't have that. I'll love them dearly, but part of the benefit of having grandchildren is that you get to give them back when you tire of them!”

“Wait a minute,” yelled Artie. “We are both going to be at Hogwarts doing Apprenticeships beginning next term.

“And who is going to watch the children?” asked Ginny. “Three babies all the same age … oh all those nappies!”

“Well, we could arrange to study in shifts or, Lily could wait until I finish…”

“You wait just one minute. Why should I have to wait? Why don't you wait until I finish…”

“Now, love, you know that I'll make more money with a Potions Apprenticeship…”

“So? We aren't in dire need of money. Our parents have already said …”

“Well, I … a baby needs its mother,” he yelled.

“Artie Malfoy, a baby needs its father. I will not allow you to spend two years in the dungeons while I am left alone to raise our children!”

The parents just watched the exchange. This was not a good start at all. Hermione desperately wanted to get up and throttle Artie for suggesting that her daughter put her education on the back burner while he got to do as he pleased. However, Harry had his arms firmly pressed down on her shoulders so she couldn't get up.

“I'm not the one whose egg divided into twins. Why should I get all the punishment!”

“My family isn't the one with a history of twins. And if your Uncles are any indication of what these two are going to be like …”

“Enough!” yelled Draco, rubbing his temples. “No one is going to have to give up any education. I am not listening to this rubbish any longer. There is just no way that either of you are going to be able to peruse the Apprenticeships next term. Both of you will defer them for one year. I am sure it can be arranged. There that is settled.”

“No, Draco, that is not settled,” argued Hermione. “Education is important!”

“Well, then, would you like to offer your babysitting services?” countered Draco.

“Then again, a year off from school would do them good to grow as a family,” added Hermione.

“Mum, are you mad? You've always said..”

Hermione put up her hand. “You won't have time to study with feedings and nappy changes and crying infants. It is best to wait.”

“But … but … you are being so selfish, you should help us,” she argued.

“We are going to help you. I, however, am done raising children,” she said.

“And we still have William running about and the new baby,” added Ginny. “You two can't depend on us to raise your children. We aren't saying we don't want you to peruse your education, but you don't need to at the moment either, as we are providing financial support.”

“This is so unfair,” said Artie.

“No, what is unfair is that I am going to be a grandmother to TWINS at the thirty bloody six years of age! That, my dear son, is unfair. I did not create this mess … you two did, and therefore you are going to act like adults. We,” she said indicating herself, Draco, Hermione, and Harry, “ all did it, and you can too!”

“But….”

“End of discussion,” said Ginny sternly. “Now, we have a wedding to plan,” said Ginny changing the subject.

~*~

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5. More problmes

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. All of you are commenting on my fast updates … I am surprised too. I should, by all accounts be working on my paper …. But eh, I still have 2 days to work on it. *shrugs*. I hope you enjoy this chapter … comments appreciated.

~*~

Chapter 5

“Wedding plans, I haven't even been properly proposed to,” complained Lily.

“But you have been asked,” said Harry, “and that is all that counts.”

Artie was fiddling with the ring box as he tried to ignore the conversation. He just wanted a Time-Turner so he could move ahead a year and be over this mess.

“Would you stop that and pay attention,” scolded Draco, as he took the box from Artie's hand. “Honestly, you are about to become a father, there is no allowance for childish behavior.”

Draco opened the box and scoffed. “Harry, you can't expect my son to give this ring to her, I mean this is embarrassing.”

“The ring is perfectly fine. It is a family heirloom. It belonged to my grandmother.”

“That is nice. But this just isn't going to do. I suppose I'll make a trip to Gringotts and get an appropriate ring for her. Honestly, Potter, I can't believe you think that this rign is suitable for an engagement ring!”

“Now whose acting childish,” said Harry under his breath.

“What did you say?”

“I said, that when you are a father there are no allowances for childish behavior. You aren't setting a very good example for your son,” he said. He paused. “No wonder our children are in this particular predicament. You never could keep it in your pants.”

“Neither could you!”

“I thought I was going to die … I was making the most of the time I had left!”

“Oh? Is that so Harry?” asked Hermione. “That is interesting. All this time, here I thought you were showing me how much you loved me, how much we loved each other. How dare you cheapen what we shared, then and now!” she yelled.

“Hermione, I … didn't mean,” he stuttered.

Ginny decided to nip this in the bud. She had wedding plans to lay out on the table, there was no time for any of this nonsense. “Hermione, he is a man, they never know what they're saying. Just let it go.”

Hermione glared at her friend, but kept quiet.

“So it's settled then, I'll get a proper ring from the vault,” said Draco.

“No,” said Lily.

“What, why not? It would be of the finest …”

“I don't bloody care. I still haven't said `yes'. And you are all about to plan my wedding, my future. What ring I am going to wear. Artie hasn't even told me he wants to get married. The last bloody thing I want is to be stuck in a marriage where we hate each other because of lousy circumstances!”

No one said anything for a moment. Surprisingly, Artie was the one who spoke up first. “Lily, I do want to marry you. I do care about you, really I do. I would have asked you to marry me, but I was stupid. I didn't think …” he stopped. “I love you, even. I can make our marriage work, if you'll have me. Would you like to be my wife?”

A small smile crept over Lily's delicate features. “Yes.”

Artie walked up to his father and took the ring from his hand. Draco reached for the box, and opened his mouth to protest. Ginny glared at him, and he stopped. Artie went over to Lily and slipped it on her finger. Lily looked down at the sapphire ring and smiled.

“Good, now that all that business is over with, can we please get on with planning the wedding?” asked Ginny. “ I have the most lovely idea.”

“I don't want to get married when I'm fat!” said Lily.

Artie opened his mouth to say something. Both Harry and Draco cleared their throats at the same time. Artie looked over at his father. “I would just leave that one go, son. Really, it is in your best interest.”

“Right,” nodded Artie.

“Well, you two are going to be married before the babies are born. Either you do it willingly or Lucius Malfoy will be forcing you down the aisle at wand point,” warned Ginny. “How does next week sound. It can be a small affair…”

Immeidatley at the mention of wedding plans, Artie, Draco, and Harry's eyes all glazed over. They were thinking of more important things, like how to leave the room without being told to do anything. The men were unable to decipher the excited discussin between the women. They were a mess of waving hands and occasional shrieks. The buzz of their speech was interrupted by angry ramblings of one Ron Weasley.

“What in bloody hell is everyone so happy about in here?” asked Ron. “And why isn't the miserable little bugger who did this to my goddaughter tied to a tree by his toes?”

“Ron,” started Ginny.

“You stay out of this Ginny, it does not concern you,” he said.

“But Ron!” said Harry, trying to get Ron's attention.

“No, Harry. You have failed in your duty as a father, now it is my job to fix this, can't expect you do it all,” he said.

“No, Uncle Ron, you don't understand,” said Lily.

“Oh, I understand all right, love, some arse has taken advantage of you. Well don't you worry, I'll set this to rights. There will be a wedding for you in no time with a proper family!” He kissed her forehead. “How are you feeling, love.”

“Fine. But Artie…”

“Oi, he's already taken care of it has he? That's what family is for!”

“No, Uncle Ron,” said Artie. “Lily and I are getting married.”

“So you're saving her then. Honorable mate. Honorable,” he said slapping Artie on the back.

“No, he's the father, Uncle Ron,” corrected Lily.

Ron began to slap Artie's back a bit harder. “Are you bloody mad? It is illegal for you to be messing around with your family like that! That is sick. I told your Mum she should've drowned you … Malfoy blood is just no bloody good!” he yelled jostling his nephew around.

Draco and Harry moved to restrain Ron. “Mate! Stop,” yelled Harry. “Stop. They aren't really related. Not really. Just stop it's all right.”

Ron stopped and then the realization hit him. His face turned red. “I…sorry. I …”

“Well, your heart was in the right place,” whispered Artie as he backed away from his uncle.

“Sorry about that Aritie. I have issues with my temper,” he explained.

“So I've noticed!” Artie noticed the look of worry on Lily's face. “It's alright, Lily, I'm fine. He didn't hurt me.” Lily relaxed.

“I just … you … they…” he stammered. “Oh gods, Harry, now you're related to Malfoy by blood!”

Harry and Draco rolled their eyes and said solemnly, “We know.”

“And I am not happy about it,” added Draco.

“Well neither am I!” said Harry.

“Well at least you two agree on something,” offered Ron shrugging his shoulders.

“Ronald Weasley,” yelled Ginny. “How dare you come in here and interrupt my wedding plans!”

“They can't get married. It is just distasteful.”

“Well what will you have them do Ron?”

“I dunno. But they are like cousins. It's just wrong!”

“The aren't related, Ron,” said Draco. “Look, it has taken us all day to get them to agree to be married …”

“See, even they know it's wrong!”

“No, Uncle Ron,” added Artie.

“Ron, listen to me,” said Hermione, taking on a tone of superiority. “It is not against any laws of nature of the Ministry for these two to get married.”

“How did you find out about this anyway,” asked Draco, puzzled.

“Your father Flooed Mum, she only told me about Lily,” he said. “You know how she's been since Dad died.”

Everyone nodded. Soon, Hermione and Ginny disappeared to get more tea. Ron, Harry, and Draco followed. Artie and Lily were finally alone.

~*~

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6. The Day Before the Wedding

A/N: A record 4 Chapters in one day. I am on a roll. The paper I have to do is still not done! I hate when RL tries to mess with my fandom.

Remember to check out www.livejournal.com/community/annettefanfic.

And comments are always appreciated, I love to hear what you think about what I'm writing.

*Skipping a head to the day before the wedding, because the humor of finding out about the baby is getting stale, in my opinion.*

~*~

Chapter 6

~*~

“No. He is not going to give me away. I don't belong to him, and it is a stupid Muggle tradition.”

“Might I remind you that you are half Muggle! Three quarters if you want to get technical!”

“Mum, Daddy is not going to give me away. I'll walk down the aisle on my own!”

“Lily, you are trying my patience. Your father is going to walk you down the aisle, he is going to give you away, and … and…”

“Then I won't go to my wedding!”

“Stop being difficult.”

“You first,” shouted Lily. All of a sudden she felt light headed and dizzy. She swayed a bit on her feet and nearly lost her balance.

“Oh, Lily are you all right,” she said rushing to support her daughter.

“Yeah, I'm fine. I guess I shouldn't over do it.”

“No, I'm sorry I shouldn't be pushing the issue,” she said, but was cut off by the sound of something crashing in the downstairs sitting room. “What the bloody hell was that?”

Lily shrugged. Hermione went downstairs to investigate. It was her middle child, Sofia, she was standing with her wand drawn and a look of horror upon her face.

“What are you doing?”

“I saw a boggart and I tried to make it go away. But the spell it backfired, and well, Lily's dress …”

Hermione looked at Lily's dress robes. In the center of the off white robes was a giant scorch mark. Hermione sighed. “What spell did you use?”

“I don't remember. I know I'm not supposed to use magic, but I tried….”

Hermione tried to fix it with every charm and transfiguration she could call to mind. “Today of all days, you could have done this yesterday, then we could find a new dress!”

“Am I going to be expelled?”

“Your father did much worse and wasn't expelled. I think you'll be fine. Just give me your wand for now.”

Harry entered the room. “Every time I see you lately you are demanding wands from your family members.”

“Well they keep trying to blow me up or each other. Harry, look at this dress!”

“Did you try …”

“Everything!”

“Well, what are we going to do?”

“You and Draco and Artie have to pick up your dress robes, right?”

“Yeah?”

“So, figure out a way to fix it. Ask Draco, he actually has fashion sense and taste!”

“The dress I chose originally, was lovely.”

“It was all poofs and pink bows. It was a monstrosity.”

“I thought it was adorable.”

“Brides do not want to look, `adorable'. You know what, I am coming with you three.”

“No you aren't I'll take care of the dress,” Harry said seriously.

Hermione squinted her eyes at him. “What are you up to?” Realization crossed her face. “Ginny and I told you, no bachelor parties. None. You are not…”

“No we aren't,” he said, rather unconvincingly.

“That's it, I'm calling Ginny!”

“No, Hermione, you can't do that!” begged Harry.

“I feel like I have another teenager! What is the matter with you lot?”

~*~

“Draco Malfoy, you tell me this instant where you think it is you are taking my son!”

“Nowhere important. I'm just going to take him to dinner, to enjoy his last night as a free man.”

“You swore that there would be no bachelor party.”

“Dad, I don't even want to go. I just want to go and see Lily.”

“Oh no you don't, Artie, we are going to enjoy our last night.”

“Hello. Ginny, are you there?” came Hermione's voice from the Floo.

“Yes, one moment, Hermione,” she said. She turned to Draco and Artie. “Don't you lot move until I get back.”

Ginny left. “Come on son, let's run for it!” urged Draco.

“No way, I may be prone to doing stupid things, but there is no way I am going to cross Mum. There is no way in hell.”

“You're moving out tomorrow. She can't ground you. She isn't about to let you miss your own wedding!”

“That may be true, but you've been lecturing me for the past week on what it means to be responsible, I am not going to do it.”

“Good for you Artie,” said Ginny. “Now, Harry, Hermione, Lily, James, and Sofia are here.”

“Why are they here? We're supposed to go out!” whined Draco.

“Well, Bernadette is going to entertain James and Sofia and we are all going to replace Lily's dress when we pick up your dress robes.”

“What happened to Lily's dress?”

“In a word, Sofia.”

“I didn't mean it,” she said.

“We know, you just have bad luck!” said all of the adults in unison.

Sofia shrugged and followed Bernadette upstairs.

Harry whispered to Draco, “That puts a damper on our plans,” he said.

“Tell me about it, bloody women figure out everything. That is lesson number one when your married son,” said Draco.

“He's going to have it doubly hard with Lily, she's a Legilmens.”

“She never told me that!” complained Artie.

Harry just smirked. “It was our little secret. Now you know.”

Artie sulked. He'd never be able to do anything behind his wife's back. Brilliant way to start a marriage.

The group of six made their way to Diagon Alley and picked up a replacement dress for Lily and the men's dress robes. Then Hermione and Ginny made sure that everyone returned to the Malfoy estate. Harry and Hermione picked up their children and made their way home.

~*~

Artie went to bed, trying to brush up Occlumency before he went to sleep. Draco and Ginny retired to their own chambers after they tucked in William and Aidan.

“Merlin, Draco, I feel so old. Our baby is getting married tomorrow,” she said.

“He isn't a baby any more, Gin,” he said settling in bed next to his wife, and letting his hand graze her abdomen. “How is our newest arrival?”

“He is just fine.”

“If it is a boy, we're getting this one neutered! I am not going through this again. And what makes you think you won't get another little girl?”

“I just know. Merlin, I am just so happy that the morning sickness is over,” she said.

“Me too, it was disgusting holding your hair back while you were puking your guts out!”

“Now imagine how I felt!”

“You're beautiful, Gin,” he said silkily as he kissed her on the neck.

Ginny hit him playfully. “Hey, what do you think you're doing?”

“What does it look like I'm doing?”

“The very same thing your son did,” she said as Draco placed a kiss on her lips.

“You're killing the mood. I finally have a moment alone with my wife where she isn't about to run off to the bathroom to be sick and I intend on using it,” he said.

“Mmm, is that so,” she said kissing him back.

Draco moved so that he was lying on top of Ginny. He deepened the kiss, and all of a sudden Ginny pushed him off of her. She bolted off the bed and made for the bedroom. “Or, I could spend the evening holding your hair back. It is a bit early for the anti-sibling alarm,” he said as he followed Gin into the bathroom to do his husbandly duty.

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7. The Wedding

A/N: This is a short chapter. I hate writing weddings, so I didn't write the ceremony because I don't know what kind of ceremony fits into JKR's world and I am not going to fall back on Pagan or Christian ritual and a civil thing seems all wrong … so use your imagination, because I can't.

Chapter 7

Hermione and Ginny had spent the whole morning getting Lily ready for the wedding. They also spent a fair amount of said time, arguing with her, along with Harry, who refused to come into the room.

“Harry, it isn't bad luck for you to see your daughter before you get married,” repeated Hermione. “Come in here and talk to her. This is just getting annoying.”

Harry opened to door and kept his back facing away from Lily. He refused to look at her. “Now, Lily, is it so bad that your Dad wants to give you away? I mean it could be worse…”

“It isn't any worse, Hermione. Once I walk her down that aisle, she becomes a Malfoy! We are now irrevocably bound to them. Do you understand this?”

Hermione rolled her eyes.

“In case you've forgotten, Harry, I am married to a Malfoy and it isn't awful,” said Ginny. “And if it makes you feel better, Artie is half Weasley, so that should make things better.”

“Hermione, maybe we forced her into this too quickly, there is still time to reconsider,” he argued.

“Daddy! Stop. I want to marry him. And if you stop this, I will let you walk me down the aisle and give me away. Just please,” she begged.

“All right, but I'm still not happy about it,” he said sulkily.

“I don't care if you're happy about it, I just don't want to hear about it anymore” Lily said under her breath as she settled back into the chair.

~*~

Draco was pacing back and forth as Artie pulled on his dress robes.

“Would you stop it, Dad? You're making me nervous.”

Draco stopped moving his feet, but his brain was moving a million kilometers per hour. “Ok, we can fake your death and then …”

“Dad, stop it. Married or not, Lily is having my children. You're related to him, by blood, and nothing is going to change that,” he said as he straightened his tie. “Merlin, I sounded just like you then, didn't I?”

“Yeah, what a time for the Malfoy charm to shine through,” he said. “Fan-bloody-tastic!”

“Dad, you are so dramatic,” he teased. He turned around and faced his father. “The mirror says I look fat in these robes, do I?” he asked.

“No. Quit preening and let's get this over with.”

“I'm not preening … I am, how do you always put it? … Oh yes, perfecting perfection,” he said imitating Draco's voice.

“I have never said that,” he argued.

“Ok, Dad, let's get this over with. I have a honeymoon to get to,” he said.

~*~

Harry and Lily stood outside the doors leading into the rose garden at the Potter home.

“Ready?” asked Lily.

“No, I don't want you to grow up. If I do this it means that you're grown up and I'm old.”

“Well, both of those things are true, Dad,” she joked.

“Ha, ha, that was funny, in that not really sort of way,” he said, tucking her arm into the crook of his own.

“Time to go, dad,” she said as the doors opened.

~*~

The ceremony actually went along without major incident. The only major problem came when Draco decided that he should object to the union, and then Ginny hexed him. Draco spent the rest of the ceremony with ugly purple boils on his face. Ginny only removed the hex because the photographer was snapping pictures and she didn't want them to be ruined.

Lily and Artie were not amused by the interruption and ignored Draco the rest of the evening. Lucius was also not amused and had words with Draco. As a result of his chastisement, Draco sat alone in a corner with a bottle of Firewhisky and his sorrows.

“Draco, what are you doing?” asked Ginny.

“Getting drunk and keeping myself from being an embarrassment on this family,” he said taking another swig of the vile liquid straight from the bottle.

“It is time for you to dance with the bride,” she stated.

“I'll pass. I really think I am too drunk to stand up,” he said.

“Lucky for you I have a sobering potion in my hand,” she said thrusting the vial of orange liquid at him.

“What is the use of spending money on alcohol when you're going to take away the effect?”

“Drink it.”

“I'll pass,” he said.

Ginny grabbed the vial, popped off the cork, stepped behind Draco, plugged his nose, and forced the vial down his throat when he opened his mouth. Draco swallowed it. “Are you trying to kill me?” he yelled.

“Not yet, don't test me. You know how crazy some witches get with the hormones and all … my magic could just accidentally go out of whack,” she said in a saccharine tone.

“That isn't funny.”

“Neither are you,” she said. “But you are very handsome and I do love you.”

“Is that why you're trying to kill me?”

“Oh quit being a baby and go dance!”

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