A Night Without Pain

MisCard

Rating: NC17
Genres: Drama, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 04/03/2005
Last Updated: 04/03/2005
Status: completed

A companion piece to my one shot, "A Day Without Rain". Harry's final battle with Voldemort leads to loss and depression so Hermione takes it upon herself to bring Harry's heart back to life. One-shot and contains character death.

Chapters

1. A Night Without Pain

1. A Night Without Pain

~A/N> I know you might be wondering what I'm doing working on a one-shot when I have two other stories that need to be updated right now. Well, I've been working on this for the past month and today I finally finished it. After finally finishing, "Kindred Spirits, Bound Souls" I needed a small writing break so my brain didn't go into overload. I'm back to writing, so hopefully updates for the other two will be up soon. Please review and I hope you enjoy the smutty goodness! :)

The rain once again fell from the heavens like tears of mourning, washing away the layer of death that blanketed the grounds of Hogwarts. No one knew how it had been done, but Voldemort had breached the wards around the school and attacked late in the night. Bodies lay strewn everywhere, covering almost every inch of earth, and in the morning the body count for the Light Side and the Dark Side would finally be known...

Harry and Hermione had been sitting on the couch, happily spending time together and snogging as much as possible, as many new couples are apt to do. Suddenly there was a frantic pounding on the door of the common room and someone was screaming for help on the other side. When Harry had rushed to open it, he saw Luna Lovegood on the other side, shaking with fear as tears streamed down her face.

"Luna, what's wrong?" Harry asked, worried by the normally calm girls behavior.

"I-It's R-Ron" she stuttered, trying to catch her breath and calm down enough to explain what had happened, "W-We were down by the lake...we had just gone for a walk instead of up to the Astronomy Tower like we usually do...t-they attacked him."

Harry's eyes grew wide as he processed what she had just said; Ron had been attacked, and she was here, upset and alone.

"Where is he now Luna?" he asked, trying to sound calm, even though inside dread was starting to spread like wildfire.

"H-He's...gone" she wailed, collapsing against him.

"What do you mean he's gone" asked Hermione, walking up behind Harry to help him steady her.

"They used the...the...killing curse" she replied, whispering the last part as if saying it any louder was a sin.

"You mean...no...no...he can't be..." Harry said, unable to comprehend the full enormity of the situation. His brain had registered what Luna had said, but his heart wouldn't let him accept the fact that his best mate was dead. "Where is he?" Harry asked shakily, looking at Luna.

"He-He's by the t-tree," Luna replied.

"I need you to show me," Harry said, unwilling to accept that his friend was gone until he saw it for himself.

Her body trembling, Luna nodded and with Harry's assistance, walked out of the Common Room with Hermione following closely behind them. They made their way out of the castle and over to the lake; Luna stopped suddenly and pointed toward a tree close to the water and through muffled sobs said, "H-he's over there..."

"Stay here with her," Harry said, making sure that Hermione had a good hold on Luna before releasing her.

"But Harry..." Hermione started to say.

Harry quickly interrupted her, "Please Hermione, stay here with her at least until I make sure it's safe."

Unable to ignore the imploring look on his face, Hermione nodded mutely and clung tightly to Luna. Drawing a deep breath, Harry headed in the direction that Luna had indicated and prayed that somehow, someway she was wrong.

As Harry made his way around the tree, he almost vomited at the sight he saw; Ron lay sprawled out on the ground, his arms and legs akimbo, with a haunted, blank stare fixed on his face. Harry's knees buckled and he sank to the ground; he covered his eyes with his hands, and began shaking his head back and forth as if he did not believe what was right in front of him. "No, no, no, no..." he whispered to himself, over and over again. Lowering his hands, he looked towards Ron once more and shouted, "NOOO!!!"

With tears falling unnoticed from his eyes, Harry crawled over to where Ron's body lay and he placed his hands on his best friends shoulders, shaking him as if trying to wake him up from a sound sleep. "Ron, no! You can't be gone...I can't lose you too!" he cried, his body shaking with his anger and sorrow.

When Hermione had made sure Luna was okay to be on her own she made her way to Harry; as she ran past the tree the first thing she saw was Harry shaking Ron's body, shouting angrily as tears cascaded unnoticed down his face; her eyes traveled to Ron's fixed stare and she knew they had lost him forever.

She quickly closed the distance between them and fell to her knees next to Ron; reaching out she caressed his cheek lovingly and whispered, "No, Ron...oh no. Please come back." As grief washed over her like a wave crashing onto land, Hermione lay her head on his chest and started to cry uncontrollably.

Harry and Hermione stayed like that for a short while mourning the loss of their friend, and then Luna walked quietly up to them. "I-I'll stay with him while you go tell Dumbledore" she said quietly, an almost hollow tone to her voice.

Harry looked up at her and said, "No, we've been out here too long already; we need to take him inside with us, just in case the Death Eaters are still on the grounds."

He gently took hold of Hermione's arm and goaded her firmly up from the ground. As she and Luna hugged each other in comfort, Harry levitated Ron's body and they slowly made their way back to the castle.

It was just like a funeral procession; the girls walked in the front as Ron's body floated behind them as Harry brought up the rear. They slowly made their way to the Hospital Wing and Harry guided Ron's body inside as Luna and Hermione held the doors open for them. Madame Pomfrey came rushing out and was shocked at the sight before her; before she could ask any questions Harry said, "We need Dumbledore here, immediately."

"You can use the fireplace to contact him" the nurse replied as Harry set him down on the bed she was pointing out. Luna stayed with Ron while he and Hermione went to the fireplace and flooed Dumbledore; the Headmaster told them to back away and came walking into the Ward mere seconds later.

When he spotted Ron's body laying motionless on the bed he shook his head sadly and said, "I think you know what this means Harry."

"It means that this is it; I face Voldemort and end this once and for all," Harry replied, his voice full of anger and a touch of sorrow. Hermione clung to him desperately as the full weight of what he said sank in.

A couple of hours later, there was a blast at the front entrance of the castle and the second War had begun; Harry, armed with his love for Hermione and his anger at the death of his best mate, marched bravely into battle and faced down his most hated enemy. It was a fight that seemed to go on forever, curses flying back and forth between Harry and Voldemort as Hogwarts students and teachers fought for their lives against the Death Eaters, many of them dying in the process. Exhausted, hurt and barely alive, Harry gathered every ounce of love he felt in his heart and cast the final curse that brought Voldemort down for good...the killing curse. Immediately after casting it Harry collapsed to the ground and blacked out, missing the exodus of remaining Death Eaters as the teachers that were still standing forced them out of the school and off the grounds. Hermione, bleeding and barely conscious herself, crawled over to him and cried out in relief as she felt a pulse; he was still alive, although barely. Getting Professor McGonagall to help her, Hermione walked beside Harry's floating body as they took him to the Hospital Wing, holding his hand the entire way she needed the connection...

..that had been one week ago, the longest week in Harry's short life. He had lain in the hospital bed, quietly thinking about all the innocent people that died, and ignored the pleas of Hermione and Mrs. Weasley to stop blaming himself. Of course it was his fault; he was the one that Voldemort had come after, he was the one the maniacal Dark Lord had to kill so that he could take over the world. So he had just lain there, withdrawn into himself, and pushed the one person he loved the most in the world away. He hadn't seen her it had been three days since...

"Harry?" Hermione whispered, taking Harry's hand into hers, "Harry, please talk to me...you have to stop bottling everything up inside."

It was Harry's fourth day in Hospital and he hadn't said one word since he regained consciousness shortly after destroying Voldemort. As he stared at Hermione, at her bruised, beautiful face, and then looked around the Hospital Wing at all the recovering and dying people, he realized once again that they were in there because of him. A part of him wished that he had died along with Voldemort, then the wizarding world wouldn't have anything to fear again.

"This wasn't your fault Harry." Hermione stated matter-of-factly.

Something about the way she had said it made something inside of him suddenly snap, "What the bloody fuck do you mean 'this wasn't my fault'? I'm the one he came after Hermione, I'm the reason he attacked innocent people, I'm the reason that Ron...I'm the reason that Ron's dead." he shouted. The full impact of his mates death hit him hard and his voice fell to a whisper, "It should have been me that died, not him...me."

"Please stop blaming yourself Harry; we all knew that the Second War was coming and we knew that we were putting our lives at risk by opposing Voldemort. We did it voluntarily...it had nothing to do with you." Hermione was crying freely at this point and squeezing his hand as if it were her lifeline to him. He couldn't take it anymore; he was tired of her sitting there worrying about him...trying to make him talk about things he would never be ready to talk about.

Abruptly yanking his hand away, Harry looked her square in the eyes and said, "Leave me alone Hermione."

Harry felt his heart break a little as he watched her expression turn from concern to hurt but she continued to sit there, unmoving. Steeling his resolve and convinced this was for the best he said, "Didn't you hear me? I said leave me alone!"

She stood up so fast that her chair toppled over backwards and there were tears streaming down her face. Staring at Harry with a look of disappointment and disbelief, Hermione spat, "You want to wallow in self-pity? You want to blame yourself for everyone who was lost during the battle? Fine!" He watched as she turned and took two quick steps and then stopped; turning to face him once more, she swiped at the tears on her cheeks and said, "Shame on you for treating me this way...and shame on me for being foolish and falling in love with the-boy-who-lived."

Her parting words had cut deeply into his soul; Hermione had always treated him like a regular bloke...she had always ignored his unwanted fame and status in the wizarding world and it helped him feel like a normal wizard. Now he sat in the almost dark Room of Requirement, completely alone, wondering what the hell he was supposed to do next. He had served his purpose, he had fulfilled his destiny...what was the boy-who-vanquished-You-Know-Who supposed to do with the rest of his meaningless life?

Harry looked over surprised as the door to the room opened slowly and a shadowy figure stood in the doorway. The figure stepped into the room and closed the door, walking slowly towards him; when only a few steps away from him he realized that it was Hermione.

She stood in front of him and stared at him for a moment, her eyes seeming to search his; finding what she wanted she settled herself on Harry's lap, straddling him, and pressed her lips to his. Shocked by her behavior, Harry sat there surprised for a moment before his thought process kicked back in. Pulling away, he looked up at her and started to ask, "Hermione, what...?"

Hermione put a finger to his lips and whispered, "Shhh...No talking, only feeling." Then claiming his lips again, a bit more forcefully this time, she brought her hands up and ran her fingers through his hair.

Harry tried to hold on to his anger and his guilt, but the way her tongue was exploring his mouth and the way her hands were tangled in his hair, he started to feel a knot of desire form in his groin; he lost all conscious thought when she started to grind herself into him, causing him to instantaneously become hard.

The tiny voice of reason that resided somewhere deep in his mind was telling him that this was wrong, that he should put a stop to it immediately, but his heart was screaming that it felt so good just to feel again. Giving in to his heart, Harry let his hands travel down her back to her bum; cupping both cheeks, he pushed her against him and ground himself into her, the friction of the movement causing him to become even more aroused.

When Hermione's lips traveled from his lips down his throat, nipping and sucking along the way, Harry growled low, losing all semblance of control. He moved so that Hermione was laying on her back on the sofa and staring into her eyes he saw all that he needed to see...desire and love. Bending down to claim her lips once again, Harry reached down and fumbling with the buttons on her shirt; becoming frustrated with the tedious task, he grabbed a hold of the front of it and ripped it open, eliciting a shocked gasp from Hermione.

Sitting up slightly, Harry ran his hands over her lace-clad breasts, noticing how her nipples were straining against the fabric. Reaching around her back as she lifted up slightly, he pulled clumsily at the clasp until finally the annoying piece of fabric was undone, pulling the straps over her shoulders and down her arms. Discarding the garment onto the floor, Harry looked at her flushed cheeks and then let his gaze travel down to her exposed breasts, marvelling in how perfect they looked. Unable to resist anymore, Harry bent down and took one of the hard, rosy nipples into his mouth and suckled lightly, afraid of hurting her; when he heard her gasp and then quietly moan, he sucked a little harder. He used his other hand to caress and knead her other breast, pinching the nipple lightly between two fingers while rolling it slightly; he was rewarded with a louder moan as she wriggled beneath him, rubbing against his jeans confined erection, causing the knot in his groin to become larger.

Making his way down her body, trailing kisses across her soft skin, he stopped when he came to the edge of her skirt. He unzipped and pulled it down her long legs and threw it down next to her bra, with her knickers joining them soon after.

As she lay there, naked and vulnerable before him, he was overcome with her beauty. Her skin seemed to glow in the faint firelight and she looked like a Goddess lying underneath him. Starting at the inside of her knee, he started to kiss his way down, over her inner thigh to the mound of hair between her legs. Unsure of himself but unable to resist, Harry settled between her legs and started to explore, his tongue caressing every fold and nub, becoming instantly addicted to the taste of her. When she started to squirm a little and then grab handfuls of his hair to hold his head in place, Harry sped up his ministrations. His efforts were soon rewarded when her body suddenly stiffened and his tongue was covered with her release. Kissing his way back up her body, Harry kissed her wantonly, letting her taste herself for the first time.

Hermione then moved, guiding him so that he was the one now on his back, as she unbuttoned his trousers and removed his boxers. She was moving with an urgency he had never seen her exhibit before and it was turning him on even more. Positioning herself between his legs, she reached out and wrapped her hand around his erection, slowly moving it up and down the silky skin. Harry's eyes rolled back into his head as she bent down and took the head of his cock into her mouth, taking him in a little at a time, until she had almost taken all of it in. Resisting the urge to just start fucking her mouth, Harry moaned and tried to stop himself from cumming right away; he wanted to enjoy this as much and as long as possible.

She continued to bob up and down, making her way down the shaft and then up to the head again, flicking her tongue over the tip driving him absolutely mad. When he felt the pressure built to an almost explosive point, he reached down and stilled her, hoping she understood what he was doing. Looking up at him through her lashes, Hermione wiped her mouth quickly and crawled up his body; she grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and tugged, letting him know she wanted it off...now. Taking control and unable to wait any longer, Harry moved once again so that she was laying underneath him; positioning the tip of his cock at her entrance, he started to push into her, moaning at how hot and tight she was and stopped himself from just burying himself in her completely. As he moved slowly, he pushed through her barrier and held still as she suddenly stiffened.

He noticed as two tears slid from her eyes and he reached up to wipe them away; kissing her lips softly he watched as she opened her eyes and nodded, telling him it was okay to keep going. Harry slid out of her and pushed in again, continuing his slow rhythm, and realized that she had finally relaxed; he almost came undone when a low, guttural moan escaped her and she dug her fingers into his back. Spurned on by her actions, he sped up his movements and pushed in just a little harder than he had before; with their bodies slick with sweat and moans and whispers of the others name escaping their lips, they each came, completing their first sexual journey together.

Harry collapsed on top of Hermione, trying to slow his quickened breathing; propping himself on one elbow, he reached out and pushed the sweaty hair off of her forehead. When both of them had finally come down from their euphoric highs and reality set in once again, Hermione opened her eyes and gazed up at him with a look of anticipation in her eyes. Harry knew she expected him to push away again and he felt like suck a prick for treating her the way he had; he had hurt her in the worst possible way yet here she was, giving herself to him without a second thought.

Running his fingers lightly across her cheek, Harry said, "I'm sorry for the way I acted in Hospital." When she just continued to stare at him, he continued, "I have had such a feeling of hopelessness and uselessness since waking up in the Ward...I am so lost, I don't even know what direction to go in anymore, and I unfairly took everything out on you."

Her eyes brimmed with unshed tears as she lay there listening to him; she had always been there for him, no matter what, and at a time when they could finally be together in peace, he had treated her like shit...but even after all that, she couldn't help loving him with all her being.

"I understand Harry," she said quietly, "I knew it might be difficult for you afterwards...it's just…I hadn't expected you to lash out and hurt me like you did…"

Harry dropped his hand from her cheek and looked away from her, thinking how he had ruined the trusting relationship they had between them, when she said, "Harry, please look at me."

After a moment he slowly turned back to face her and was greeted with an expression filled with compassion and understanding as she spoke, "Harry…I was hurt and I got over it, I understand. I really do. I love you, nothing can ever change that fact."

She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. He returned her embrace, his chest tight with emotion as her words echoed in his mind; even though he had caused her so much pain, she was still willing to love and forgive him.

After they lay there together for a little while, relaxing in the firelight and relishing in the beginning of their new life together, Harry's curiosity got the better of him.

"Hermione, not that I didn't enjoy it or anything, but what made you come looking for me tonight?" he asked.

She turned to face him and said, "I was in my room, thinking over everything we'd been through throughout the years, and I remembered the day you brought me in here, to cheer me up. I've seen you walking the halls like a zombie lately, you had this haunted look in your eyes, and I knew you were going through hell. I realized that even at a time when we weren't close, you still went out of your way to make me feel better and now it was my turn." Kissing him quickly on the lips she smiled and said, "You gave me a day without rain and in return I wanted to give you one night...a night without pain."