My Heart Will Go On

Vicarious Leigh

Rating: G
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 25/03/2005
Last Updated: 25/03/2005
Status: completed

A super-shorty H/H that is based on the lyrics from the C. Dion song with the same title. Written (hopefully) with the same flair I've managed in my other peices.

Chapters

1. My Heart Will Go On

1. My Heart Will Go On

As this is only three pages, it’s the closest thing to a drabble I’ve ever written! However, I hope that it will meet with your approval and be what I hope you’ve come to expect from me. Big thanks to CheeringCharm for giving it the once over. As it’s only three pages, I didn’t go into extensive beta work on this…all mistakes are mine.

I hope you enjoy it!

VL

My Heart Will Go On

By: Vicarious Leigh

Every night in my dreams

I see you, I feel you.

That is how I know you go on.

Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you.

I wonder what you’re doing. I wonder how you are. It’s not like I can see you, or touch you, or tell you how much I love you. I know it’s futile to spend such time engrossed in your memory, but I can’t stop myself. I’ve never stop thinking about you.

I’ve never loved anyone the way I loved you. I’d like to say I fell in love with you immediately. I’d want to say it happened the second my eyes met yours or the first time your hand brushed mine. But, I’m nothing if not honest. Maybe I was too young to understand what you’d mean to me. Maybe I was scared. Maybe I spent too much time being logical and thinking through the brand new world I was experiencing. Whatever the reason, my love for you blossomed as time progressed. Funny thing about time, sometimes I feel we spent an eternity together and other times it seems like only the blink of an eye. Regardless, our time was too short and the only thing I remember in excruciating detail was the day I lost you forever.

Far across the distance

And spaces between us,

You have come to show you go on.

We’re separated by the irony of the veil. It seems so insubstantial…so delicate. Yet the reality is absolute. The veil cannot be breached. The voices usher forth from the other side if only to remind me of your smile, your laugh and the timbre of your voice that I cannot hear. I barely remember the first time I saw the bloody thing. I took little notice of it being otherwise occupied with you. You’re all I could think about. I could’ve cared less about this rotting piece of black fabric. Now I think about the imperturbable veil as much as I think about you.

Near, far, wherever you are

I believe that the heart does go on.

Once more you open the door

And you’re here in my heart

And my heart will go on and on.

Truthfully, I wish I could stop thinking about you. All of my memories are tainted with the darkness of our separation. I can’t see your face, or hear your voice without my mind wandering to that day…the day that changed everything.

I try to avoid thinking about what happened. Such thought only leads me to the enduring sadness I’ve yet to cast off. I see his eyes, I hear his voice and a chill ascends my spine. I wish I could turn off my infernal mind and move on. But, I can’t. I can still feel the panic in my chest. I can see the look in your eyes. I can hear my screams harmonize with yours.

But in the midst of my despair, I always remember one thing.

You.

You’re so far away. I would give anything to see you again…to touch you. But, I know that it’s impossible. And yet, I think of you anyway. Perhaps I can’t run my fingers along your cheek, or ruffle my hand through your unruly mop of hair but I imagine that I can. I close my eyes and you appear before me; drawn from my memory and enlivened by my heart.

Love can touch us one time

And last for a lifetime

And never let go till we’re one.

I loved you for the boy you were and the man you would become, even if we were separated before our time. I loved you then. I love you still. No matter the distance laid out between us…no matter the brevity of our relationship, I’ll never love another as I loved you.

My fingertips feel the softness of your raven hair. My skin resounds with the warmth of your own. If I could blind myself to the color green I’d still see your eyes staring back at me. Those darkened eyes reflect the sadness of your world’s reality while twinkling with the hope of a world that could be...a world that should be. A world you were destined to bring to fruition.

Your destiny was written before you were born. Your life was cursed to a responsibility you didn’t ask for and solitude you didn’t deserve. Yet you persevered. You shouldered the burden and faced your fate. You faced him.

Love was when I loved you

One true time I hold to

In my life we’ll always go on.

Ironic as it seems, I’ve never been more proud of you than the day I lost you forever. In the months that proceeded that night I knew what was coming…we both did. I told you then, more times than you wanted to hear I’m sure, of the faith I had in you. Even without the prophecy I could see it in your eyes. The longer I knew you the more convinced I was that you were the wizard to save us all. When darkness fell that night I could feel it in my soul. I knew he was there. You knew it too. You were calm…serene even. Then it ended; all of it.

But, you’re here. You’re with me. Everyday I think about you. I carry you with me. Your love, your strength, your spirit…I hold it all locked in the place no one can reach and darkness cannot breach. You’re safe in my heart.

Near, far, wherever you are

I believe that the heart does go on.

Once more you open the door

And you’re here in my heart

And my heart will go on and on.

I spend time with you everyday but I do not allow myself to linger. I must move on lest I wallow in misery and lose myself in your memory. I can’t allow that to happen. What’s more, I know you wouldn’t want me to. Your memory inspires me to endure…to move forward…to make something of this existence I’m relegated to. You suffered so much pain in your life yet you persevered. You learned to love in a vacuum of emotion you didn’t deserve. I would like to believe I helped you to that end. I’d like to believe my love for you transcended time and the barriers between us. I believe that now.

There is some love that will not go away.

Hermione rose as she did every morning. She saw the brilliant sunlight streaming through the curtains and felt the warm embrace of another’s arms around her. She couldn’t help but smile. She looked toward the foot of her bed, listening to the soft suckling sounds of her sleeping newborn. She drew a contented breath and rocked the bassinet with her uncovered foot.

“Good morning,” his voice broke the quiet reverence of the moment.

She rolled onto her back and looked up into the green eyes she’d never tire of seeing. “Good morning,” she echoed. Had the clouds cast a shade from the sun she wouldn’t have seen his tear in the moment before he wiped it away from his cheek.

“Harry,” she asked with concern. “What’s the matter?”

He pulled her against his chest and, without answering, studied the ceiling above their bed. Trying to lighten the mood, she continued, “I thought the mother was the one to suffer post-partum depression?” His smile broke his serene expression and he turned his head to face her.

“You’ll think I’ve gone mad,” he whispered.

She clasped his left hand in hers and played with the golden band on his finger that matched her own. “Sometimes I think you must’ve gone mad already.”

He kissed her forehead.

“Talk to me, Harry. What’s bothering you?”

“I dunno. I reckon it’s silly, or it’s just wishful thinking while I’m asleep.”

“What is? I promise I won’t think you’re mad.”

He took a deep breath and threaded his fingers through Hermione’s. “Sometimes I get the overwhelming feeling that my mum is thinking about me.”

Hermione’s heart broke in two. She slipped her arms around Harry and kissed his cheek. “I might be new to motherhood, but I think I can say with some conviction, there’s not a day that passes she doesn’t think of you.”

You’re here, there’s nothing I fear,

And I know that my heart will go on.

We’ll stay forever this way

You are safe in my heart

And my heart will go on and on.