Surrender

Jacy

Rating: R
Genres: Angst, Drama
Relationships: Draco & Ginny
Book: Draco & Ginny, Books 1 - 4
Published: 23/04/2003
Last Updated: 23/04/2003
Status: completed

She surrendered to his darkness, but ended up finding herself - Ginny is looking for someone to make her life worth living, and finds a cure for her loneliness in an unlikely source. D/G one-shot

Chapters

1. untitled

1. untitled

A/N: This is a companion piece to “Seventeen and In-Between” and “Fallen Angels”. I’ve gotten a few requests about writing just how Ginny and Draco got together. Well, request no longer, because here it is. Hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I own neither song nor characters nor wind nor rain…erm…yeah – I just don’t own any of it, alright? Okay…The song is “Saturate Me” by Mandy Moore.

~* Surrender *~

The desert I wander lacks its mirage
There’s no mistaking a barrage
Of sand and wind that tears my skin
Leaving what’s without exposing what’s within

Forsaken, left here
In my barren desolate

Ginny wandered through the halls, seemingly lost in her own little world. It was her seventeenth birthday, and Harry, Ron, and Hermione threw a big party in the Common Room for her. Ginny smiled, a chorus of “surprise!” and “happy birthday!” following her as she entered the portrait hole and stepped into the room. She’d been expecting something like this, of course – she was close friends with Colin Creevy, and everyone knew the boy couldn’t keep his mouth shut about anything. She’s known for the past three days, but never let on. She let everyone have their fun, let Lavender and Hermione lead her off to the library to help them with “research” while everyone else prepared for the event.

It wasn’t until about three hours into the festivities that she realized how miserable she really was.

It wasn’t the party – the decorations were fantastic, the food was great, and being with her friends made her as happy as anything.

Until she saw Harry and Hermione together. She hadn’t realized how much she really missed Harry until that moment. They’d broken up only two weeks before, for reasons he said he couldn’t explain and she knew was sitting right in front of him in the form of his best friend. Hermione and Harry hadn’t even realized they liked each other that way until one “accidental” kiss after the Halloween dance earlier that week. They’d stayed up all night talking about that one tiny kiss – and started the morning with an even better kiss, from what Hermione had told her.

Ginny sighed and glanced at the two again, only to be upset further. Sure, she was happy that her friends had finally woken up and realized that they were meant for each other. Hell, even Ron’s rocky relationship with Lavender was going well. But she missed Harry – or maybe she just missed having a boyfriend. Whichever one it was, she decided it was enough to make her get up and take a walk. The Common Room was beginning to empty out anyway – no one even noticed she was gone.

Ginny walked up to the Astronomy Tower pondering what exactly she was feeling. Love? No – she wasn’t in love with Harry. Jealousy? Maybe just a bit, but not enough to make her feel so down.

Lonely? Ah yes – that’s the one. She was lonely and full of desire – desire for something new, someone new to enter her life and make living worthwhile. Ginny wasn’t the type to brood over how terrible her life was, but just once, she wanted to be the one in a happy relationship. She wanted to find her true love. She wanted to find the person that could fill that hole inside her, that part of her that felt so empty and desolate sometimes that she cried herself to sleep– even while she was with Harry.

No one ever knew what Ginny was feeling. Ever since she was a little girl, she kept everything bottled up inside. She didn’t think anyone would understand how she felt – unnoticed, sometimes unwanted. After all, why else would she confide in a diary that talked back to her at age eleven? She yearned for acceptance among her friends and family, but refused to express her emotions outright. Ginny was never the type to wear her heart on her sleeve. Her brothers always had to coax her into telling them what was wrong. Even now, she found it hard to open up to anyone.

Maybe that was the problem.

My soul is evaporating
Won’t you saturate me, won’t you saturate me
Rain down on me with life
My soul is evaporating
Won’t you saturate me, won’t you saturate me
Storm around me, bring the tide

Draco patrolled the halls not actually paying attention to anything that was going on around him. He didn’t see Filch go by with Mrs. Norris. He didn’t see Professor Snape wander by, presumably to his office.

He didn’t notice Ginny standing by the window in the Astronomy Tower until he heard her sigh.

Draco tsked, smirking the infamous Malfoy smirk. “Out of bed Weasley, at this hour? You’re not very good at picking hiding places either, I see. This place is usually swarming with professors.” He tsked her again.

“Go away Malfoy.”

Her voice was quiet, more like a sigh, and Draco was shocked at the feelings that hearing her speak sent through him. Pull it together Malfoy! This is Ginny Weasley! “No.” She was so engrossed in her own little world that she didn’t even realize he’d come up behind her until she felt his arm brush against hers, surprised at the tingling sensation the short contact sent through her.

Ginny sighed angrily. She needed to think, and having Draco hovering behind her like the arrogant annoyance he was didn’t help matters. She spun around, almost yelling, “I thought I said go away Malfoy!” Ginny looked up at him and found her heart beating in her chest at the sight of his chiseled features, his sharp, grey eyes, the white blonde hair.

Draco moved forward, forcing her to move until her back was against the wall. He placed a hand on either side of her shoulders, her in between his legs. “And I thought I said no.” His voice was stern but surprisingly husky, almost hesitant, as if he were debating whether or not he wanted to do something.

Ginny placed both of her hands on his chest, meaning to push him away, but instead found herself unconsciously pulling him closer, debating whether or not she wanted to ignore the alarms that were going off in her head and the fluttering in the pit of her stomach.

Draco made the decision for both of them. In one swift movement, he closed the remaining few inches between them and his lips descended on hers.

Their kiss wasn’t the tentative, chaste first kiss most people shared. This was hot, passion driven, and fueled by a desire that neither ever realized had resided within themselves.

Ginny slid her hands up Draco’s chest to rest around his shoulders running her fingertips through his hair and down the back of his neck. Draco’s hands moved from the wall to her waist, slipping underneath her shirt to run up and down her back. Ginny whimpered as he ran his fingertip down her spine and over her stomach, parting her lips unconsciously to give him full access to her mouth. Ginny had her own hands under his shirt, raking her fingernails softly over his chest. She heard Draco groan and felt him pull her closer, deepening the kiss even further. Draco was like a sudden undertow – he unexpectedly pulled her under water and she was drowning in him. The tide of emotions she was feeling earlier couldn’t hold a candle to the confused emotions that were running through her now. It wasn’t until she felt Draco’s fingers unclasp the back of her bra, felt his hands move up to cup her breasts and give them a gentle squeeze that she sputtered to the surface, trying to pull away. She moaned as she put her hands on his shoulders, pushing him away as firmly as she possibly could.

Draco seemed to get the hint and pulled away suddenly. He knew the shock in her eyes was mirrored in his own.

“Ginny I – “

Ginny held up a hand, catching her breath. “What was I doing?” she asked finally. She looked up at him. “What were you doing?”

“I believe the correct question to be asking at this moment Weasley is what were we doing?”

Ginny glared in his direction, at the indignant smirk she saw playing across his features. She couldn’t hold back any longer. “You’re a real asshole, you know that?”

Draco reeled as if she had smacked him. “What the hell do you mean by that?”

“You’re just standing there smirking at me as if nothing happened just now. Am I the only one who’s wondering how and why the hell we just – “

Draco walked over to her and firmly sealed his lips over hers. It was the only way he could think of at the moment to effectively shut her up, and quite frankly, he just wanted an excuse to kiss her again.

Ginny whimpered at the intensity of his kiss, craving more, banishing all coherent thoughts to the back of her mind.

Before she had a chance to act on her desire, Draco pulled away. “There’s a door next to the Slytherin Common Room that leads directly to my bedroom.” Draco kissed her again. His hands fisting in her hair, he almost groaned when he heard her purr of approval. “If you want to continue this, be there Tuesday night.” Draco moved as if to kiss her. His lips were barely an inch away from hers when he pulled away completely, stepping towards the door. “That gives you three days to decide. If you don’t show, then we can forget this whole thing ever happened and go back to just hating each other. Your choice. Take it or leave it Weasley.”

Ginny watched in shock as Draco turned on his heel and walked out of the Tower, leaving her frustrated and more confused then ever.

My days stretch long into the heat
As the sun brightens my defeat
My lips are chapped, they’re parched and dry
My thirst it builds with every day gone by

Forsaken, left here
In my barren desolate

“Ms. Weasley!”

Colin elbowed Ginny in the ribs and she sat up with a start, her gaze meeting a stern-looking Professor McGonagall. “I’m sorry – what was the question professor?”

Professor McGonagall fixed Ginny with a severe stare. “Ms. Weasley, I would ask that you not fantasize in my classroom. I would have expected better from you.”

Ginny cast her eyes to her parchment – blank save for her name at the top. “I’m sorry Professor McGonagall.”

“Be sure it does not happen again.” The class ended, signaling an end to the day and Ginny breathed a sigh of relief. Her mind had not been on her work at all. Ron caught her daydreaming at breakfast so she didn’t even bother going to lunch. She was late for almost every class and couldn’t pay attention in the few classes she was on time for.

All of her thoughts wandered back to the same place, the same person, the same kiss…

Draco last night in the Astronomy Tower. Be there Tuesday night be there Tuesday night be there Tuesday night… The words repeated over and over again in her mind like a mantra until Tuesday night did arrive and she was going mad.

Over the course of those three days, most of her waking moments were spent in constant battle with herself. Should she go to Draco, knowing very well what was going to happen, knowing that he harbored no feelings for her whatsoever? But if he didn’t have any feelings for me, why would he invite me back? She asked herself. Because he knew you would come and give him exactly what he wanted because you’re gullible.

Ginny ran her brush through her hair furiously, trying to sift through the jumbled thoughts in her brain. If she went, she was admitting defeat – she was giving herself, all of herself to a boy who taunted her mercilessly as a child, made her waking moments a living hell in every way he possibly could, hated her friends, hated her family, hated her morals…

But in those three days, she realized how much she wanted him – needed him. Two kisses – but there was something behind them, something driven and full of want and lust and pure need… He made her feel like no one else ever had, ever could. The feelings he brought to life inside of her with the touch of his fingertips made her yearn for him like she’d never yearned for anything before. With every day that went by, Ginny realized that her thirst for him was growing. She needed to be sated, and she knew that she could only find what she was looking for in him, a boy who was supposed to be her worst enemy and was turning out to be the only object of her desire.

So, in reality, the decision was made. At midnight, she would go to him, give Draco Malfoy what he wanted – and, at the same time, take something for herself.

My soul is evaporating
Won’t you saturate me, won’t you saturate me
Rain down on me with life
My soul is evaporating
Won’t you saturate me, won’t you saturate me
Storm around me, bring the tide

Draco paced his bedroom like a cat trapped in a cage. He’d kicked out his dorm mates hours ago, claiming he needed some “private time” – they knew what he meant and with a few suggestive laughs, slaps on the back, and good-natured guesses as to who exactly Draco needed the room vacated for, they left without further question. Their guesses ranged from Pansy Parkinson to Millicent Bullstrode, even a joke about “Mudblood Granger”. He laughed at that one – Harry would have him killed before he could blink if that were the case. No, no one would ever guess that it was the youngest Weasley who would be coming to his bed.

He knew she would be coming to him. He’d seen the longing gazes in the library, the “accidental” brushes against him in a crowded hallway. She wanted him, and, God help him, he wanted her just as badly.

Why, of all people – why did she have to be a Weasley? This was the question that ran through his mind the most over the course of the past few days. There were plenty of Slytherins who were willing to throw themselves at his feet to get him to even consider taking them to his bed. Hell, there were a few Ravenclaws who would willingly come to him if given the chance.

But no – he chose a Gryffindor. A goody-two-shoes, loyal, virgin Gryffindor, who would have to be the youngest of the Muggle loving Weasley clan who had two serious boyfriends over the course of a one year period and probably hadn’t gotten farther then groping around in the Astronomy Tower after dark.

How did he know she only had two boyfriends? He’d been watching her. Ginny caught his attention in her Fifth Year when she told her brother off for being “so bloody overprotective” of her. If he remembered the situation correctly, Ron followed her and Colin – her boyfriend at the time – out to the lake, where he almost hexed the poor boy into the next millennium for “daring to touch his little sister”. Draco almost laughed at the look on Ron’s face as Ginny told him off in front of the entire school in the middle of the Great Hall at dinner before stalking away in a huff. He’d followed her out, meaning to congratulate her on a job well done, but instead found her crying alone in the library. Draco never dealt well with crying women, and decided to leave things alone.

He kept a close eye on the Weasley girl after that. She really was beautiful – and he wanted her. Not like he wanted most other girls. This was different somehow. There was…emotion involved. He almost killed Potter when the two of them started dating. Draco was especially insufferable those few months they went out, but nobody ever voiced this – they just thought Malfoy was being Malfoy, when really Malfoy was being jealous.

When the two broke up, the satisfaction was almost overwhelming, although he hadn’t expected for her to actually give in when he kissed her that night. He almost expected her to pull away, maybe follow in Granger’s footsteps and slap him for daring to try to touch her. But no – she gave in, she kissed back – she wanted it. Even though she pushed him away, he knew she still wanted him, which was the exact reason he gave her the ultimatum he did. Come to him, or forget.

Because she could never forget.

But neither could he.

The dunes that shift, drift, and lift in the wind
Cover up my hope as I start to give in
To the cracks and the creases and the dips in my will
As I am pushed towards the brink I drink down air and swill

The door opened and Draco turned around. The sight of her made his breath catch in his throat. She was wearing a white nightdress with a tie in the front, her robe open and almost falling off. She looked like the angel everyone thought she was – innocent, untouched, and about to surrender herself to the seduction of the dark. He smiled as she drunk in the sight before her – Draco was wearing nothing but a pair of loose pajama bottoms, and the sight of him topless took her breath away.

Ginny realized she was staring and turned around to close the door. She felt a pair of hands slip around her shoulders, her robe falling to the floor forgotten. “I knew you would come,” he said, his voice unusually husky as he laid a kiss on her neck.

“I knew you’d be waiting,” she said, turning around to face him so she could kiss him, something she’d been yearning to do all day. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw the intense look on his face, the look of desire in his eyes. She felt her heart beating wildly in her chest.

“No questions,” he said, “No wondering. You don’t ask anything about me or my life, I won’t ask anything about you. Unless I offer the information, don’t even think about me, and you can rest assured that I’ll do the same.”

Ginny slid her hand up his chest and she could feel his heart hammering against his ribs, the same rate as her own. She had no choice but to agree to his terms, and she would without a doubt, but not before offering up one of her own. Ginny stood on tiptoes and slammed her lips against his with a force that would leave a bruise. She slid her arms around his neck and she felt his hands slide her nightgown up to her hips, smiled as she heard him groan at the revelation that she wasn’t wearing anything underneath.

Ginny nipped at his bottom, not giving him access to her mouth and he could hear his growl of frustration as she pulled away, backing up towards the bed. Her chest was heaving from the force of the kiss, and she held up a hand as he stepped towards her. “No questions,” she repeated, “No wondering. You don’t ask me anything about my life, and I won’t ask anything about yours. I’ll agree to your terms Malfoy, but only if you agree to mine.”

Draco was shocked as she looked up at him and said clearly, her voice low, “You let me come back. When I want, no matter how seldom or often, you let me come to you.” If he was shocked before, his mind was completely reeling at her next statement. “I want you, Draco.” She said the phrase with such clarity that he was left in a daze, but he heard her next question loud and clear.

“The questions now remains,” she slid the nightgown off of her body and it fell in a puddle at her feet, “how badly do you want me?”

Draco crossed the room in two steps and crushed her mouth to his, answering her question by pulling her tightly against him.

My soul is evaporating
Won’t you saturate me, won’t you saturate me
Rain down on me with life
My soul is evaporating
Won’t you saturate me, won’t you saturate me
Storm around me, bring the tide

There were too many layers between them, Ginny realized, as Draco’s fingers played over her skin leaving tracks of heat in their wake. She tugged at the waist of his pants and they fell to the floor. Draco pulled away for a moment to kick them out of the way. Ginny smiled as his lips returned to hers in another more frantic kiss.

The feeling of his skin against hers was enough to drive her wild. To think, she was willing to deny herself of this…the idea was unfathomable. Draco trailed his fingers along her skin, down her arms, up her sides, and back down again. He watched her face as her breath hitched. His fingers merely brushed over her breasts, her stomach, and she gasped as he touched the place between her thighs.

Draco brought his lips back to hers and she greedily pulled his face closer to hers. She couldn’t help but smile when she heard him growl as she nipped at his bottom lip. Draco pulled his lips away from hers, only for a moment, as if searching her eyes for a sign that she really wanted to go through with this.

Her answer was to kiss his lips softly. She laid a few butterfly kisses along his jawline, nipped at his earlobe lightly before trailing small, sweet kisses down his neck and across his chest. Before she could reach her destination, however, Draco pulled her face back up to his and kissed her with wild abandon, lying on top of her on the bed.

Draco kissed her lips before mimicking what she had earlier done to him, raining kisses along ever inch of her skin, leaving no part of her untouched. Ginny was going insane with desire. She wanted him, and she needed him now.

“Draco,” she gasped as his mouth met hers, his fingers playing along the inside of her wrists, moving to cup her breasts making her whimper. “I…I need you…” The words were nothing more then breathy sighs between their kisses, but Draco understood what she needed because he felt the same way – if he wasn’t inside of her now, he was going to go crazy.

Draco positioned himself over her and kissed Ginny hard, so hard she barely felt the throbbing pain as he slid into her, couldn’t acknowledge anything but the man she was with, and how she found herself falling harder and harder for him with every waking moment.

Unbeknownst to her, Draco was falling just as hard for the redhead in his arms.

My soul is evaporating
Won’t you saturate me, won’t you saturate me
Rain down on me with life

Ginny sat at the window in Draco’s room, his black robe tied tightly around her. The robe was three times too big, but it was comfortable and it smelled like him – spicy, natural, and just something else, something that was pure Draco. Ginny looked at Draco who was lying on the bed, still sleeping, and she smiled slightly. Her body still tingled pleasantly from their love-making. A sudden thought entered her mind – What if he’s just using me? What if he doesn’t let me come back? Ginny banished the thought with a shake of her head. She pulled the tie of the robe open and was about to get back into the bed when she felt two strong arms envelope her.

“I don’t recall saying that you could wear my robe,” Draco said, nipping at her neck lightly.

Ginny smirked. “I don’t recall you saying I couldn’t.” She titled her face up and kissed him passionately. “I still want to come back,” she said finally, turning around to face him.

“I still want you to come back – whenever you want. Those were the terms, weren’t they?”

Ginny nodded. “Of course.” Ginny looked towards the window where the first light of dawn broke across the sky. She looked up at him and said with a sigh, “I should go.”

Draco leaned his forehead against hers. “I know,” he said, but he wouldn’t release her, not yet. He leaned down and captured her lips with his, his robe falling off of her shoulders and to the floor. “Don’t leave,” he told her, capturing her mouth again in another bruising kiss, “not yet.”

“If I don’t leave now, I never will,” she breathed, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, moaning as his hands came up to tangle in her hair, massaging her scalp. Using every ounce of willpower she could muster, Ginny placed a hand on his chest and pushed him away, placing a finger to his lips. “I’ll come back,” she vowed, to herself as much as to him, “I’ll come back tonight.”

Draco kissed her fingertip and nodded. Ginny prolonged leaving by taking her time slipping on her nightdress and her slippers. Draco handed her his robe and she eyes him suspiciously. Draco shrugged, simply saying, “I can’t find yours. Take mine.”

Ginny didn’t believe him for a second, but she nodded anyway. Giving him one last kiss, she slipped out the door and headed back up to Gryffindor Tower. When he was sure she was out of the room, Draco picked her robe up off of the floor by the bed and placed it in his trunk where his nosy roommates wouldn’t be able to see it and question him as to who it belonged to. Sighing, he set about to getting dressed and ready for another day of waiting for night to come, waiting for her once again.

Ginny stopped and slipped Draco’s robe over her shoulders. She smiled and continued on her way back to Gryffindor Tower. She would go to him again that night, and the night after that, and the night after that. The days ahead were looking better. She’d found what she was looking for in a most unlikely source – someone new had entered her life and made living worthwhile. She hadn’t found true love yet, but that hole inside her, that part of her that felt so desolate, wasn’t quite as empty anymore.

She surrendered to his darkness. She lost her innocence, but ended up finding herself.