This Lullaby

Secret Lily

Rating: PG13
Genres: Romance, Humor
Relationships: Lily & James
Book: Lily & James, Books 1 - 5
Published: 04/04/2005
Last Updated: 15/08/2005
Status: completed

Lily Evans has always pushed guys away, keeping her distance away from heartbreak. If she never got too attatched, she would never get hurt. Yet, James Potter refuses to be pushed away. Will he be the one to actually tear down Lily's walls that separate them?

Chapters

1. Guarded Heart

2. Breaking Boundaries

3. Comforting Returns

4. You're Never There

5. Strolling With Sirius

6. Only Fooling Herself

7. Wasting My Time

8. Realizations

9. Against All Odds

10. Opening Up

11. Chemistry

12. Fresh Tears

13. All For You

14. Blindingly Happy

15. Not In The Plans

16. Let Me Go

17. Just Friends

18. Desperate Times

19. Finally

20. Auntie Erin

1. Guarded Heart

Chapter 1-Guarded Heart

Lily Evans looked painfully out of the windows of the Hogwarts castle. She would miss the walls, the people, the magic about the school. She was packing her bag, neatly of course, and preparing to head home for the summer. The attachments she felt to such a place could not be described. Hogwarts was her home. It was her one true security that differed herself from her family. It kept her sane.

She had always known she was different from her family. Her bright auburn hair cast her aside from her blonde mother and sister. Her mother always said she had been given her father’s hair. If only he had lived to see her grow. Her emerald eyes cast a certain mystery about them; withholding all the feelings she kept tucked away.

She glanced at her Muggle wristwatch and saw the time. She only had a few short hours to spend at Hogwarts. She knew that she had to give Ethan the news before his expectations became too high.

Ethan was her boyfriend of three months. She had known he wouldn’t last; no one ever did. Lily found it too painful to cling to a person and become so vulnerable. It only led to heartbreak. She didn’t believe in true, undying love. It wasn’t real. She hadn’t seen anything come close to it since the days of her father and mother’s marriage. Even then, things had not worked out for the best.

Lily finished folding her robes and set them quaintly into her suitcase. She glanced over at the other beds, seeing that no one else had packed. Her friend, Erin Parker, had left her bed a mess; nothing new to that. Erin and her other three friends had always been there for her. Lily knew she could rely on them always. They were so unlike the male species. Her friends wouldn’t back out on her, leaving her crying to herself at night. No, they would be comforting her.

She forced a smile and walked down the stone steps leading into the Gryffindor Common Room. She saw the fire blazing even though the summer heat was rising outside. The room was empty, as most everyone was down for the feast in the Great Hall. Soon, Lily would be catching the train home, losing another year at her beloved school. The next year would be her last year, her only year to decide where she would go in life.

She knew wherever she was going, Ethan would not be tagging along. She had to give him the talk before things became to serious; too sentimental. She sighed once more, knowing her friends would send their disapproving looks her way.

Lily entered the Great Hall and glanced around for Ethan. Ethan had been made Ravenclaw Prefect; this was how Lily had met him. She had been on patrol with Remus Lupin when they had come across Ethan and Marcel. As it always did, nature took its course from there. Lily nodded at her friends in recognition and walked over to the Ravenclaw table. She saw Ethan grin as she sat beside him. His arms slipped around her shoulder and it felt awkward.

They never knew it was coming, none of them. They always expected to be the ones Lily would spend eternity with. As far as Lily was concerned, that man may not exist, let alone be at Hogwarts.

“Excited about the train ride home?” Ethan asked. “I can’t wait to meet your mum and sister.”

Lily glanced to the floor nervously. Ethan was a nice guy. It was always hard when they were nice. He just wasn’t what she was looking for.

“Listen, Ethan,” Lily began. She turned to face him, preparing herself for the speech. Her friends knew the speech well. “We need to talk.”

Ethan knew what was coming when she had recited the dreadful words, “We need to talk.” His face grew somewhat pale but he acted as though she was merely starting another conversation.

“About what?” he asked, trying to act oblivious to the hard inescapable truth.

“I don’t think we’re going to work out,” Lily said. “I just don’t feel as though we have a true connection. You’re a great guy, any girl would feel lucky to be with you. I am just sorting through some problems right now. I don’t know if the timing is right for me to have a boyfriend.”

They always reacted differently. She expected that Ethan would take it bad; he had always been a sensitive guy.

“Well, truth be told, I think you’re right,” Ethan said. “I think it’s better if we’re just friends.”

He held out his hand for her to shake. She had been wrong, he was one of those guys. The type of guy who didn’t feel as much rejection if they remained friends. She had cast him as the wrong guy. Mistakes happen.

“Friends,” Lily said, trying to sound sincere. She shook his hand knowing that friendship was not in the plans. He would find someone else and be quite happy with her. It was the way things worked.

“Have a nice summer,” Lily called, walking over to her friends at the Gryffindor table.

Erin Parker looked up at her, casting her magnetic eyes at Lily. Erin had always had classic beauty. She had long, pale blonde hair and celery colored eyes. She had a fair complexion and was as petite as they came. Her attitude was far from petite. She was known to be sweet yet was also known for her fierce temper. That may have been why she and Lily had connected so well. They had been friends since first year on the boat ride to the castle. It was a friendship that was made to last.

“You gave him the talk, didn’t you?” she asked Lily. Lily nodded, knowing her friend was disappointed.

“When are you ever going to give anyone a chance, Lil?” Erin asked. “Ethan was a great guy. He didn’t deserve that.”

“How’d he take it?” Lily’s other friend, Ruby Wallace asked. Ruby had shimmering black hair that fell to her shoulders and sparkling blue eyes that captivated all. She had ruby red lips, fair skin, and was quite tall compared to Lily and Erin. Ruby was insecure, but tried to hide it well. Only Lily and her friends knew of Ruby’s hidden insecurities. She saw herself differently than all her friends.

“He took it surprisingly well,” Lily offered.

“What type was he?” Leah Graham asked. “Was he the masculine figure in deep denial or was he the crying mama’s boy who didn’t want you to go?”

Leah had men figured out as well. She was the one least disapproving of Lily’s behavior, as she didn’t trust them either. Leah was a half-blood orphan who lived with her two pureblood foster parents. Leah had grown to distrust men as her father had been a Death Eater. He had her mother killed and was then killed by Voldemort for trying to escape his grasps. Leah had a reason to look at men the way she did. She was a beautiful girl with strawberry blonde hair and amber eyes that shone. She was a bold, surprising girl that told things like they were. She always said what was on her mind and never failed to provide brutal honesty. Her and Erin really hit if off.

“He wanted to be friends,” Lily said, shrugging. “Whatever that means.”

“You’re not going to be his friend?” Vita Robins asked. Vita was a small, quiet girl who kept the others in balance. She was often referred to as the peacemaker as well as the mediator. Vita kept a lot of things to herself but never failed to stand up for her friends. She had short brown hair which she kept in a flattering, shapely bob which accentuated her features. She had pale gray eyes and a desire for acceptance. She no longer felt the need for that acceptance as she was with her friends.

“No, Vita, I’m not. It’s not in the plans,” Lily said. She was looking at the treacle pudding but decided against it.

“Nothing’s ever in your plans,” said Leah, who was looking at this weeks’ Witch Weekly.

“You’re one to talk,” Lily sighed. “How’s what’s his name again? Oh yes, Brandon.”

“Brandon happens to not be my type,” Leah insisted. “You on the other hand haven’t even found a type. You’re sixteen years old Lily. When are you going to have a steady boyfriend?”

“She doesn’t want to risk getting her heart broken,” Ruby reminded. “Can you really blame her?”

“No,” Erin said, quietly. They all knew she was one apt to being torn up about heartbreak. Recently, Erin had dated Sirius Black and had foolishly fallen under his charm. She of course, had landed with a crash. Their relationship lasted only two months before he had dropped her for the next pretty face.

“Don’t think about him,” Lily advised. “He’s not worth it.”

“Well than, who is worth it?” grumbled Erin. “There is no one I can find that I can relate to. No one. It’s horrible. I’m starting to think it’s me.”

“I could kill Sirius Black for doing this to you,” Leah growled. “All of those Marauders don’t know who they’re hurting. It’s a wonder no one’s ever hurt them. They seem to all have Lily’s philosophy.”

Oh, but what they didn’t know was that someone had managed to hurt a Marauder.

……………………………….............

“Another year gone and another year wasted without Lily,” James Potter reflected. He laid upon his bed and looked upon the top of the bed. He had scribbled Lily’s name more times than he could count on there. Every night before falling asleep, he added another and just gazed at it. The name haunted him. Lily Evans.

“Prongs, mate, you’re looking rather hopeless right now,” Sirius commented. “We’re going home for the summer and you’re depressed about Lily Evans. Things really don’t change.”

“Oh, but next year, they will,” James proclaimed.

“Next year is the year when Lily will finally realize she is madly in love with you,” the three other Marauders recited all whilst packing for home. James’s clothes laid abandoned on the floor.

“You really should start packing, Prongs,” Remus observed. “We leave in an hour.”

“There has to be a way to get under her skin and bring out the real Lily,” James muttered.

“The real Lily?” Peter asked. “What do you mean? She looked pretty solid to me.”

“The one who has compassion and warmth,” James uttered, getting an odd look on his face. Sirius slapped Peter on the head for starting this once more. They wouldn’t be able to get James to shut up.

Sirius had to spend the summer with James, listening about Lily Evans. It got rather tiring really.

“She’s amazing,” James voiced.

Getting tired of looking at the wrinkled garments on the floor, Remus swished his wand and packed James’s suitcase himself… At this rate, he would have never gotten it done alone.

“Next year is the year, my boys,” James proclaimed. “She’ll never know what hit her.”

“I’d say you have a lot of growing up to do before that point,” Remus mumbled.

“Lily,” James whispered, loving the sound of it on his tongue.

……………………………….............

“We have plans for you, my dear Lily,” Erin said, as they exited the Hogwarts Express. They were now at Platform 9 ¾ in Kings Cross Station, awaiting the arrival of their parents.

“What plans?” Lily asked, bewildered.

“We have plans to reform you, of course,” Leah proposed. She giggled as she saw Lily’s doubtful look.

“We mean it, Lils,” Ruby inquired. “Next year, you’re not going to give anyone the speech.”

“You guys can’t promise a thing like that,” Lily reminded them.

“Oh, but we find very persuasive ways of promising such a thing,” Vita assured, holding up her wand. The girls giggled once more.

“Oh, I’m going to miss you guys,” Lily choked, smiling as she gave her best friends hugs.

“I think I see my mum,” she said.

Lily headed off, growing even farther away from the place she loved as she prepared herself to enter the Muggle world once more. She was walking away from her talents, her friends, and her life as she did every summer. Every summer she wondered as well, was there really that one special guy waiting for her somewhere. She highly doubted it. Even if her perfect man approached her, she highly suspected she would push him away before she could uncover the truth. She figured she would just remain lonely forever, away from the terrible truth in heartbreak.

She often relied on the quote from her favorite movie to help her through times like these. “Hearts will never be made practical until they are made unbreakable.”

……………………………….............

“Next year, she’ll know,” James said, seeing Lily approach her mum and what appeared to be her sister.

Her red hair set her apart from the rest. He loved every aspect of her. He didn’t know how something so perfect could have been made. He often felt like it had been made for him to get along in the world. Lily was his true comfort about Hogwarts. It was part of the reason he felt the need to actually attend.

“Come on lover boy, your mum’s over there,” Sirius said, dragging him away from his daydreams. “I want to go say hi.”

As Sirius dragged him towards his mum, James kept his eyes locked on her and blushed as he saw her penetrating emerald eyes meet his.

He felt as though she could read his thoughts. He could also tell that his name danced across her mind just as hers did with his.

He had big plans for next year; he was going to win her guarded heart for once and for all.

……………………………….............

A/N: Just something I’ve been brainstorming. Got the idea from a book I read. The book was This Lullaby by Sarah Dessen. Please review if you wish for me to continue.

2. Breaking Boundaries

Chapter 2-Breaking Boundaries

Dear Lily,

How’s your summer been? Hopefully it’s been going well. Things around here are pretty unexciting. Although, I can’t truly say that. Living next to the Potters can sometimes bring fun to non-stop boredom.

Mrs. Potter always invites me over for a cup of tea but alas, I must refuse. I don’t want to run into Sirius, of course. That would be so embarrassing. He has seen me this summer though, much to my displeasure. James Potter can’t stop talking about you, Lily. It’s amazing how much he can find to talk about. I’m your best friend and even I can’t talk about you that much. He asked me for your owling address and I told him I couldn’t tell him. I just want you to know, I think you should write to him. Give him a shot. I live next door to him, how bad can he be?

Now, don’t think I’ve forgotten what I promised before we left. You are not, I mean absolutely not, going to give anyone the speech this year. You’re going to find a boyfriend, fall in love, make tons of little Lily’s and make me baby-sit them. I’ll become Auntie Erin and live alone; depressed and distraught.

How’s Petunia? If she’s been dreadful to you, just let me know. I’ll give her a piece of my mind. Trust me, she hasn’t seen me angry yet. You’re one to account for how temperamental I can get. If she gets too hard on you, just imagine all the spells you can do to her once we leave Hogwarts!

Please let me know how you’ve been. I haven’t talked to the others all that much. They’ve been busy vacationing with their families. I miss you, Lils!

With love,

Erin

Lily read Erin’s letter and laughed to herself. Erin was always trying to be optimistic for the future. Of course, her summer was probably a little more entertaining than Lily’s had been.

Two owls had arrived that very morning, bringing letters for Lily. Her mother had almost dropped Lily’s breakfast on the floor due to the shock of owls swooping in through the window. Petunia had just made a disapproving noise and walked out of the room.

The first owl had been Erin, checking up on Lily. The second was recognizably a school owl. Lily wasn’t too sure but it seemed as though the letter was unusually thick. It normally only contained her school letter and supply list. This year it looked as though something new had been added.

She had saved that one for last, hoping it was what she thought it was. After reading Erin’s letter she folded it up and placed it aside. She picked up the Hogwarts letter and stared at it for a moment.

“Lily dear, are you going to open that or look at it all day?” her mother asked.

“I’m opening it, Mum,” Lily reassured her.

She slid her finger across the seal, opening it. She let the parchment fall, as well as a shiny new Head Girls badge. Lily grinned; it had indeed been what she had been hoping for.
She read the letter, still proud and excited.

Dear Miss Evans,

This year you have been made Head Girl of Hogwarts. We congratulate you on your achievement. You’ve worked hard throughout your years and we feel that this should be a proper reward. We expect that you’ll serve the school well.

We wish for you and the Head Boy to meet in the Heads Department where a list of passwords have been provided. During the feast, please pass around the passwords to all the Prefects. There will be a Password provided for the Heads Common Room included as well.

We look forward to seeing you on September 1st!

Professor Minerva McGonagall, Head of Gryffindor House.

“Why, Lily honey, have you been made Prefect again?” Lily’s mother asked curiously, examining Lily’s badge.

“No, Mum,” Lily exclaimed. “I’ve been made Head Girl!”

“Oh honey, that’s so good!” Lily’s mum said, hugging her daughter with pride.

“Big surprise,” Petunia snarled from the doorway into the kitchen. “Perfect Lily couldn’t just become Prefect. She had to become Head Girl. It wasn’t enough to just have perfect grades and perfect friends. She’s topped herself on this one.”

“Petunia, don’t talk to your sister like that,” Mrs. Evans snapped at her elder daughter. “Shouldn’t you be at Vernon’s right now, anyways?”

Petunia stormed out the back door, heading over to her purple-faced boyfriend’s home.

“Mum, can I ask you a question?” Lily asked, sitting down at the kitchen table once more and placing her Head Girl badge back in the envelope.

“Yes, dear?” Mrs. Evans replied.

“Do you like Vernon?” Lily questioned.

“Honestly?” Mrs. Evans proposed. “No. I can’t stand him.”

“I thought I was the only one who felt that way. He’s an awful man,” Lily insisted.

“Well, he’s what makes your sister happy. We have to live with that,” her mum sighed.

“Well, at least I don’t have to live with it all year,” Lily muttered.

………………

James Potter entered Kings Cross with a new outlook on life. He was a new man; a changed man. His hair ruffled with the soft wind and his hazel eyes studied the atmosphere. He saw no sign of beautiful auburn hair. He felt his dad rest his hand on his shoulder and looked around to see his parents.

“Oh, James, it’s your last year,” Mrs. Potter wept.

“It’s ok, Mum. Really, it is,” James assured his mother.
“Oh, and you’re Head Boy. It’s as if time is repeating itself,” Mrs. Potter chirped.

“I remember when me and your mother were Head Boy and girl. She couldn’t stand me,” Mr. Potter chuckled.

“Oh, that’s not true,” Mrs. Potter laughed, slapping her husband’s shoulder.

“Maybe James here will find his one true love,” Sirius deduced.

He was twinkling his eyes at James, knowing that his friend was growing red with embarrassment.

“Shut up, Padfoot,” James muttered.

“Well, do tell Erin Parker I said hello. Her mother is such a dear,” Mrs. Potter said. She gave her son a hug, as well as Sirius.

Mr. Potter gave them both hugs before departing.

“Do take care, James,” he called.

“So, who do you reckon is Head Girl?” Sirius wondered. “Do you think it’s Parker?”

“No, she’s got too much of a temper,” James explained. “What if it’s someone awful, like Bella?”

“Oh, I would feel my deepest sympathy for you,” Sirius claimed, clearly disgusted by the thought. “But, what if it’s not someone horrible? What if it’s Evans?”

The thought hadn’t even crossed James’s mind. It would seem logical for Lily to become Head Girl. She had been Prefect for two years. Yet, James had been made Head Boy and hadn’t been Prefect. Maybe Dumbledore had been changing it up this year.

“Whoever it is, I just hope she’s easy to get along with,” James mentioned. He looked at his friend before they were to cross over into Platform 9 ¾.

Sirius had a devilish grin on his face, as always. His best friend was always optimistic; even in bad times. The two boys were so different, yet so similar. Sirius had manageable black hair that fell elegantly on his face whilst James had the most peculiar hair known to man. Their physical differences were overlooked and the two were often compared as brothers.

“Seventh year? Not looking too shabby, is it?” Sirius asked, grinning.

“Not at all,” James stated. The two of them ran their trolley’s directly into the barrier, crossing over. Sirius had tipped his imaginary hat to the Muggle watching them. Of course, the man would think he had been hallucinating.

……………………

“Lily!” Leah squealed, opening the compartment door to find her friend looking glumly out the window. Lily looked over to see an excited, and rather tan, Leah Graham smiling.

“Leah, it’s so good to see you,” Lily said, standing to hug her friend.

“Why so blue, my dearest Lily?” Leah questioned.

“Oh, just the whole realization of it being our last year here,” Lily commented.

“Can I join in this little pow wow?” Ruby asked.

“Rubes!” screamed Leah. “How’ve you been?”

“Oh, you know, same old, same old.” Ruby confessed. “How was Egypt?”

“It was amazing,” Leah said. “I saw so many interesting things.”

“I know, I heard the tombs were exquisite,” Lily reminisced.

“Who’s talking about the tombs? I’m talking about the boys,” Leah inquired.

“Oh, how I’ve forgotten our little Leah being such a man-eater,” Erin’s playful voice was heard. All the girls turned to see Erin and Vita smiling at their friends.

The group sat and started talking of their vacations. Lily had little to share. She had never had exciting summer vacations.

She lived in the Muggle world where things were far less exciting than the wizarding world.

“So, Lily, you were made Head Girl?” Erin asked, interested.

She had a look about her that was withholding serious information.

“What do you know that I don’t?” Lily demanded.

“Oh, nothing,” Erin said, acting as innocent as was possible.

“Speaking of, I have to go to the Heads Compartment for a few minutes,” Lily remembered. She recalled the letter.

“You have yourself a right old time,” Erin called as Lily left the compartment. Erin slowly got up and closed the compartment door.

“Why’re you doing that, she’ll be right back,” Vita mentioned.

“Oh, trust me, you’ll want the door closed for this one,” Erin reassured them.

“Why?” Ruby asked.

“Let’s just say I have two words for you; James Potter.”

…………………………..

Lily straightened herself before opening the compartment door.

Who would be the Head Boy? Would it be Remus Lupin? Or worst, what if it was Severus Snape? Well, she could handle Snape as long as it wasn’t-

“Potter!?” Lily screamed, seeing James peering out the window. He turned to see Lily Evans, looking very distraught and angry. He loved it when she was angry.

She looked at him, lost for words. She quietly walked to the small table, picked up the list of passwords and walked out.

She walked back to the compartment her friends were in, still not speaking. She went in and sat down, quietly.

“She’s holding it all in,” Erin explained. “She’s very upset right now. You just wait. She’ll blow up in a few moments time.”

“P-P-P” Lily stammered.

“Yes, we know. James Potter is Head Boy,” Erin nodded, trying to comfort her friend.

“You knew?!” Lily asked, standing and looking at her friend in shock.

“Erin really has good timing on these things,” Leah said, staring at her watch. “She did explode in about a minute.”

“Of course I knew,” Erin replied. “I live next door to him.”

“You didn’t warn me?” Lily asked. “I could have had some idea of what was going to happen before I walked in there. You could have prepared me in some way.”

The compartment opened and none other than James Potter was standing in the doorway.

“Can I have a word, Evans?” James asked. Lily looked at her friend, still shocked by their lack of communication.

Once Lily stepped outside, the questions started rolling.

“Why didn’t you warn her?” Vita asked.

“Oh, there is a reason, my young, naïve Vita. Our dear Lily likes to be in control of things at all times. That is her problem with relationships; control. She backs out before anything out of her hands can occur. By not warning her about Potter, she was vulnerable. Lily Evans was unprepared,” Erin rambled.

“And your point to his being?” Leah asked.

“Do you not remember our little plan after the train ride home last year?” Erin recalled.

“Yes, we were going to stop Lily from dumping anyone,” Ruby remembered. “How is this going to help?”

“James Potter is someone who is spontaneous and carefree. Those are things Lily needs to balance herself out. You tell her that, she’ll never give him a chance. By making her feel vulnerable in front of him, she’s allowing herself to bring him in,” Erin devised.

“You are much more wise than we give you credit for,” Leah pointed out, clearly impressed by the amount of thought that had been put into this.

“You flatter me,” Erin said. She smiled to herself, knowing that her plan was going to work.

A/N: Please review.

3. Comforting Returns

Chapter 3-Comforting Returns

……………………

“What do you want, Potter?” Lily asked, feeling somewhat annoyed that James had taken her away from her friends.

“I just wanted you to know that I’m not going to just sit back and neglect this whole Head Boy thing. I’m going to take it seriously, whether you think I can or not,” James declared.

Lily studied his face for a moment, looking to see a hint of any comedic attempt to impress her. He looked surprisingly serious about his words, although she couldn’t find the inspiration for such words.

“That makes two of us,” Lily mumbled. “The Head Boy shouldn’t have to justify himself. It should be expected that he’ll do well.”

“Ah, but alas, if I did feel such confidence, I’m afraid to say you would mistake it for arrogance. We can’t have that, now can we?” he asked, a smile showing on his face. She laughed.

“I guess you’re right,” she said. “Is that all?”

“How was your summer?” he asked, making a stab at conversation. He was wearing Muggle clothing, something most students wore. Normally, wizards looks completely out of place in Muggle clothing. She noted that he was wearing worn jeans and a t-shirt. Not half bad considering some of the things Sirius Black had shown up wearing. He was sticking his hands nervously in his pockets.

“It was ok. I miss Hogwarts during the summer. It’s different in the Muggle world. It just doesn’t seem right,” Lily mused, thinking how easy it was to talk to him.

“I know what you mean. Well of course, I don’t know what you mean. Our situations are completely different,” James said.

“How so?” Lily inquired.

“You don’t have to see Sirius Black in a bathing suit,” James pointed out.

“You’ve got me there,” she laughed.

“So, I’ll see you later at the feast?” James asked.

“Sure,” Lily replied.

He walked back to his compartment, surely to go brag to the marauders. She slid open the compartment door to see her friends huddling together and talking in hushed whispers.

“Ok, stop talking about me now. I can hear you, you know,” Lily said.

At once, her friends cleared the path so Lily could sit down. Lily sat right next to Erin and stared at her friend.

“I’ll find out,” Lily threatened.

“Find out what, my innocent Lily?” Erin asked bewilderedly.

“Oh, I know you’re behind something. I just want you to know, I’ll find out,” Lily warned.

“I highly doubt that,” Erin smiled, twinkling her eyes. “I happen to be an evil genius as far as what I’m up to concerns.”

“Oh, she’s right on that one,” Leah included.

“Down right evil, but brilliant,” Ruby concluded.

“Am I supposed to follow this?” Vita asked, looking back at her friends.

“So, what did James want?” Erin asked.

“Just wanted to talk about our duties as Heads. Why?” Lily questioned.

“Merely curious, is all,” Erin replied, twiddling her thumbs.

“Sure you are,” Lily replied suspiciously.

………………

“It was magic, you guys. Pure, simple magic,” James exclaimed.

He was in his compartment with his three best friends and fellow marauders.

Sirius Black was staring skeptically at James as though the words uttered out of his mouth could not be true.

“I really don’t think Lily Evans could possibly hold a civil conversation with you, Prongs,” Sirius inferred.

“Why is that, Padfoot?” James asked, slightly appalled.

“To be honest, you can be a bit of a prat sometimes, mate,” Sirius said, clapping James on the shoulder.

“Well, Sirius, to be even more honest than you just were, the reason he was a prat for so long is because you were the mentor. I, however, took over that role this summer and reformed our dear, Prongs, here. You see, because I taught him how to be courteous and polite, Lily could quite possibly have held conversation with him. When you were teaching him the ways of women, he was screwing up with women I’m surprised he isn’t socially challenged,” Remus replied to Sirius.

“Excuse me, Moony. In case you haven’t noticed, the dating cycle relies on me to entrance the young ladies of Hogwarts. If you would like to see a chart-” Sirius said, reaching inside his bag to pull a supposed chart out.

“No, that won’t be necessary, Sirius,” Remus assured his friend.

“I’m just saying-” Sirius said, reaching for the chart once more.

“Padfoot, go bug the lady with the food trolley, would you?” James asked.

“Come on, Wormtail. We have food to uphold,” Sirius said, leading Peter out of the compartment.

“So, how did Lily react when she found out you had Head Boy?” Remus asked.

“Not too well, actually,” James confessed. “She went kind of mute, as though as sort of thought she was dreaming. Then, she went back to her compartment and most likely blew up in front of her friends. I give her points for her composure though.”

“Prongs, you know, I think that if you push Lily, that won’t work,” Remus said, thinking quietly to himself. “She seems like the kind of person who slowly likes to be lured into things.”

“How do you figure?” James asked, running a hand through his hair.

“Well, I talked to Vita a couple times about Lily while we were in the library and she went on about how Lily couldn’t stay in relationships and what-not. That makes me think that all the guys she dated were trying the same approach. You need to ease your way to her heart,” Remus advised.

“You should market this stuff, Moony,” James insisted.

………………………..

“Now that the sorting is over, I have a few start of the year notices I wish to address. First, there will be no one permitted to enter the Dark Forest. It is clearly out of bounds due to the danger at risk. Also, Mr. Filch would wish to address this to four specific young men, turning his hair purple is not an option this year. He had to order from Sleakeasy’s to get it out last time. Now, if that is all, Prefects please escort first years to their Common Rooms after the feast. Also, later tonight, would the Head Boy and Girl meet me outside the Great Hall for some simple instructions. I’ll leave you with these parting words; Rubbish, Alumni, Pounce. Now please, dig in.”

Professor Dumbledore, an aged man with long, shimmering, white hair and half-moon spectacles covering his electrifying blue eyes, had just given his start of term speech which every year became more and more creative. He had clapped his hands together and magically, food had appeared on the flawless gold china on every House table. A diverse range of foods had been placed, each as scrumptious as the next.

The Hogwarts ceiling was unusually clear that night, the stars sparkling before them.

Lily smiled, feeling as though she were home for the first time in months. She had a warm sensation flow through her stomach as she looked around at the castle. It was a beautiful sight. She could have sworn that she saw the headmaster grin at her awe.

Her friends were digging in, eating as much as they possibly could before bed.

“Screw Witch Weekly diets,” Leah had said, as she managed her way to the tray of suckle ham set before them.

Lily had awkwardly smiled at Ethan as she had entered the castle, knowing that it had been wrong of her to break things off for no good reason.

“Lily, how can you not eat anything? Are you crazy? The food is heavenly,” Erin said, taking a breath from inhaling food.

“Not hungry,” Lily answered. She was honest about that; the thought of being home gave her anxious jitters in her stomach. It would be her last time returning to Hogwarts. That was not a comforting thought.

………………………..

“Prongs, how can you not eat? You’re a seventeen year old boy who needs nourishment. Look at this treacle pudding. Isn’t it fabulous? Absolutely mouth watering. You have got to be off your rocker,” Sirius quickly stated, taking a break from eating every ounce of food in his vicinity.

“Padfoot, you better hope your metabolism never gives way,” Remus observed, watching his friend eat.

“I’ll be healthy and sleek forever, Moony. What are you going on about?” Sirius asked, simply finding the idea of gaining weight preposterous.

“I’m just warning you,” Remus said, shaking his head.

“You’re looking at Evans, aren’t you?” Sirius asked. He should have figured.

Sirius hadn’t been wrong in assuming that. James had been watching Lily, simply mystified by her presence. It was consuming, all the energy she gave off.

He was finally at peace; home at Hogwarts. He could see her.

A/N: Please review.

4. You're Never There

This Lullaby

Chapter 4-You’re Never There

Turn it inside out
So I can see
The part of you
That's drifting over me
And when I wake
You're never there
But when I sleep
You're everywhere

“What about him?” Lily asked, pointing to a boy at the Ravenclaw table.

“Too smart,” Leah replied, popping a grape into her mouth. It was lunchtime and the Gryffindors had just finished their classes. Leah and Lily sat at the house table, looking over the students for possible suitors for themselves.

“Is that a bad thing?” Lily inquired. “I thought smart was a good thing.”

“It is in some cases,” Leah mused. “The guy has to be well rounded though. If he’s only smart and not charming or funny, how interesting is a date going to be?”

“I guess you’re right,” Lily sighed. “What about him?”

“Lily, he is a Hufflepuff,” her friend answered. “What have we learned about Hufflepuffs?”

“I don’t know, what have we learned?” Lily asked, bewildered as to what her friend was rambling on.

“Well, I’m not quite sure right now. I thought it was your job to remember those things,” Leah impatiently rambled. “All I know is that he smells like goats. My Aunt Selma has goats and let me tell you, if you had to work on her farm, you wouldn’t want to date anyone who smelled like that either.”

“You’re impossible to please,” Lily said.

“You’re just figuring this out?” Sirius Black asked, sitting across from them. He grinned before helping himself to the sandwich platter on the table.

“What about a Gryffindor, Lily? You never go for Gryffindors,” Leah pointed out.

“That would be because I have to face Gryffindors everyday. I only want a date for Hogsmeade,” Lily complained, brushing the hair out of her face.

“You need a date for Hogsmeade? I can get you a date for Hogsmeade,” Sirius assured her.

“Sorry, Black. We’re just not right for each other,” she answered shortly.

“You don’t have to tell me that,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes. “But, what about my dear friend, James Potter?”

Lily just about spit her pumpkin juice across the table.

“Attractive, Evans,” Sirius said, wiping the juice off his face. “May I inquire what is wrong with James?”

“He’s just not my type,” Lily answered.

“You don’t have a type,” Sirius and Leah said together.

“Nobody does,” Sirius piped in.

“It just wouldn’t work out. We’re two different people. You’ve seen us go at it. It’s not healthy for two people to fight like that,” she responded.

“Actually, it is quite healthy. It’s a little thing I like to call anger management. By releasing your emotions, you don’t keep them bottled up inside. You and James actually do that quite well,” Leah recalled.

“I hate it when she reads Muggle magazines,” Lily muttered.

“You should at least give him a try before judging him,” Sirius said.

“Sirius, me and James Potter are a complicated tale to tell. There is not telling what is bound to happen when in the presence of one another. Usually, it involves the nurse and a stretcher,” Lily said.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Sirius brushed off.

“Evans, you’re driving me insane,” James Potter screamed.

“You’re not helping my mentality as well in case you haven’t noticed,” Lily screamed back.

“What mentality? You’ve gone psycho as far as I’m concerned,” James shouted.

The two of them were in the halls patrolling as they found people out of bed. As Heads, this was their first time to actually hand out a punishment and the two of them could not agree.

“Just give them a blasted detention and we’ll be on our way,” James said.

The two people, a boy and a girl, had been strolling the hall, hand in hand. James didn’t really see the big deal, but apparently Lily wanted to punish properly.

“Detention? Do you know how ineffective that is? I say detention and fifteen points off apiece,” Lily said.

“They’re Gryffindors! Are you mad? You do know that we’re going to be behind Slytherin for the house cup now,” James complained.

“Let me remind you how many points you’ve gotten taken off of Gryffindor since the start of your career at Hogwarts,” Lily hissed.

“Detention,” James dismissed the two. “Drop it, Evans.”

“Who’s to say you’re the one to determine the proper punishment?” Lily protested.

“Why are you being so uptight? You can’t say you’ve never gone out for a stroll after curfew,” James assumed.

Lily blushed and looked at her feet awkwardly.

“You mean to say that with all the boyfriends you’ve had, you’ve never gone out and taken a walk with them?” James asked, as if it was the most ludicrous thing he had ever heard.

“No,” Lily admitted, quietly.

“Never?” James queried.

“Never,” she replied. “None of them have been very special to me.”

“I guess I can understand that,” James deduced. “None of my girlfriends have been very special. It doesn’t mean I’m going to limit myself just because of that.”

“What’s the point, though? You’re just going to break up, anyways,” Lily remarked.

“I don’t know that,” he honestly answered. “It’s not fair to just assume those things. The other person may think differently.”

“So, you’re telling me that you treated all your girlfriends as if they would end up with you?” she asked him.

“Yes, I treated them as such. It doesn’t mean I felt that way. It’s called compassion,” James voiced.

“I know what compassion is, Potter,” Lily snapped. “It’s just that, in the end someone’s bound to get hurt.”

“That’s what life’s about though. It’s about taking risks and giving others a chance. Life would be no fun if you didn’t let yourself go once in awhile. That’s what relationships are about. It’s not necessarily love but it gives you a special feeling as to caring for another person,” James explained.

Lily stopped walking for a moment. Had she just been given a lesson in love from James Potter? That was something that was far from ordinary.

“So, you haven’t found it yet?” Lily asked.

“Found what exactly?” James questioned. He turned to look at her, her eyes somewhat shaken and confused.

“Love,” she answered. “You haven’t found it yet?”

It was an odd question to be asked by the girl he felt so much for. Had he found love? Not quite. She was the closest thing to it though.

“Not yet,” he divulged.

“What if you never find it?” Lily demanded.

“That’s where the matter of one’s personal beliefs come in,” James indicated. “I for one, believe that there is one special person for another. I think that some are meant to fall in love while others find it, but never really grasp onto it. Whether you do something about it, that’s your choice. If you refuse to let it in, you probably will never find it.”

Did Lily want to become one of those people?

A/N: I am sorry it’s short. I hope it satisfied whatever need you felt for reading though. I’ll be back for more some time this week. Please review.

5. Strolling With Sirius

Chapter 5-Strolling with Sirius

“Who’s the new flavor of the week?” James asked, plopping down in an armchair next to his friends in the Gryffindor Common Room.

There were lots of people crowded around, Lily being one of them. James caught her out of the corner of his eye. She was with her friends, as usual. Girls rarely went anywhere alone. This was one thing James had retained during his years at Hogwarts.

“I haven’t had one,” Sirius admitted. “It feels as though I’ve hit all of them.”

“Already?” Remus asked, looking up from his book. He looked like the book was a lot more stimulating than the conversation. “There are lots of girls in this school. You’ve really dated them all?”

“Well, no,” Sirius confessed. “Only third year and on. The last time I dated a second year, things got ugly. It wasn’t right.”

“It’s disgusting the way you treat people sometimes, Padfoot,” Remus said. James couldn’t totally disagree with him on that one.

“How so, Moony?” Sirius asked, clearly bewildered as to his lack of respect for others’ feelings.

“What about Erin Parker?” Remus suggested.

“What about her?” Sirius challenged, raising an eyebrow and scanning the students to find Erin. He spotted her with her friends. She was rather pretty, even for his standards.

“Well, it could be the fact that you dropped her like a bad habit or that you totally ignored her this summer,” Peter started rambling off.

“I get it, Wormtail,” Sirius said. “She was no different from the others. I like them all, but it’s hard to love them.”

“You’re such a hypocrite,” Remus stated, rolling his eyes behind the book. “You hate it when people like Prongs here, don’t go for their true feelings yet you hold none whatsoever. How can you possibly relate to his issues?”

“I can’t. I just try to be his mate, is all. Nothing more to it,” Sirius said.

“I don’t believe you,” James spoke. He had been sitting there, quietly listening to his friends’ conversation. It just didn’t fit. “Out of everyone, there has to be someone you’ve liked more than the others. I also find it impossible for you to have dated every girl. Out of all Lily’s friends, you’ve only dated Parker.”

“I figured they were all the same as her,” Sirius said, shrugging it off. James noticed that his friend was hiding something.

“There is a reason that there is no new flavor of the week. You like someone,” James accused.

“I always like someone, Prongs. You really need help in the Divination department,” Sirius deducted.

“No, I mean you fancy someone. That’s the reason you’re not dating anyone,” James proclaimed.

“What do you care?” Sirius asked, standing up, clearly offended.

“I don’t, mate. Sit down, simmer. I was just acknowledging something you’ve failed to mention to your fellow Marauders,” James said, cheekily.

“I’m not the hypocrite here, Prongs. If I’m not mistaken, you feel the same way about Lily. You don’t tell us everything either,” Sirius said, briskly.

“You may be right on that one, Sirius,” James quietly said.

.X.

As Lily exited the library, she heard footsteps behind her. She turned but the figure was hidden by the shadows. It was tall, much taller than she stood. She stretched out her wand and ignited it.

Sirius Black appeared to be shielding his eyes from the light.

“It’s just me, Evans,” Sirius said.

Lily whispered, “Nox,” and placed her wand back inside her robes.

“Roaming the halls again, Black?” Lily questioned.

“No, just strolling. There is a difference between roaming and strolling,” Sirius insisted.

“And that would be?” Lily asked.

“Well, roaming is walking around with the intention of making the inevitable amount of mischief most students achieve. Strolling is when you’re simply walking around looking for someone. In this case, I am looking for James,” Sirius replied.

“I think he’s at Quidditch,” Lily said. “He and Ruby left a short while ago for practice. They should be back soon.”

“That’s good,” Sirius casually said. “Speaking of Prongs, how’re things going with him?”

“Alright, I guess,” Lily said.

“You still haven’t considered him for Hogsmeade?” Sirius asked.

“Black, don’t push it. If Potter wants to go, he’ll ask for himself. Yet, he’ll be terribly disappointed as my answer had failed to quaver in response,” Lily brushed off.

“I don’t get it, Evans,” Sirius bellowed, as Lily paced quickly down the hall. She turned to look at him, his face bewildered.

“What do you mean?” she inquired.

“You’ve dated so many guys without one sign of remorse for their feelings or your reputation. You dated Ethan Sullivan, for one,” Sirius said.

“What’s wrong with Ethan?” Lily demanded.

“The guy’s a bit of a weakling, if you get what I’m saying. He was a tad bit over the edge on his prefect duties,” Sirius supplied. “A bit overwhelming for one’s reputation.”

“I don’t care about my reputation,” Lily snapped.

“Well, then what would it hurt to go out with James? It wouldn’t hurt your reputation, it wouldn’t hurt society, it wouldn’t hurt mankind. It would not hurt his feelings, nor mine. I doubt your friends would be hurt by it. What is the harm in dating him?” Sirius requested.

Lily contemplated her answer slowly. She didn’t know Sirius would go to such levels for his friend. Obviously, she underestimated the Marauders.

“Well, Sirius,” Lily said, pacing her words. “In order for me to answer that, you must answer me this. Why can’t you stay with a girl for longer than three months?”

“Evans, you don’t want to go there,” Sirius warned.

“Oh, but it’s quite alright for you to tap into my personal life and choices. You mind your own business, I’ll mind mine,” Lily offered.

“I can’t date them for too long because I need variety,” Sirius grinned. “They get old after awhile.”

“Sickening,” Lily claimed. “You’re just as afraid as I am. Love is a scary, forceful thing. I’ve known Potter for seven years and he’s liked me for a long time. I have some regard for his feelings. I don’t think I could date him for the simple reason being that it would be incredibly hard to break up with him. I am not willing to make myself that liable to his feelings.”

“I guess I understand where you’re coming from. I just want you to know, the reason I haven’t stayed with girls is that I haven’t met the right one. I’m always willing to give them a chance. That seems to be your problem,” Sirius concluded.

It always went back to the risks. She wasn’t willing to put herself in a vulnerable situation. Even Sirius Black seemed to realize her problem.

“I’m just not ready for that, Sirius,” she said quietly.

“You don’t have to be. Just keep in mind that James really likes you. For some odd reason, he finds something about you unique and different from everyone else. I’ve lived with him for how long? Seven years. He’s talked about how he felt, and it wasn’t as immature as I would have expected. Just remember him when the time comes to choose a date for Hogsmeade,” Sirius said.

“Thanks, Sirius,” Lily said, reaching the Gryffindor Common Room. “If you ever need anyone to talk to, I’m here.”

“Well, since I’m not too swell with apologies, can you try and tell Erin Parker that I’m not completely ignorant to her feelings. I do feel bad for what I did,” Sirius said.

“Sorry, that’s something only you can do,” Lily said, walking in and leaving Sirius feeling rather guilty.

A/N: It’s short, but I hope you liked it regardless of that. Please review.

6. Only Fooling Herself

Chapter 6-Only Fooling Herself

“Sirius Black just gave you, Lily Evans, the Head Girl of Hogwarts, advice?” Leah questioned, clearly in a state of shock.

“Sadly, I have sunk no lower. If Sirius Black thinks I’m demented, there must be something wrong with me,” Lily proclaimed, hopping into bed.

Erin sat quietly in the corner. The topic of Sirius was still tender as to her broken heart; some things don’t mend as easily as others. Sirius was one of those things that was hard to forget. He was such an easygoing nice fellow, it was hard to imagine he was capable of breaking someone’s heart. Erin hadn’t believed that she would have been one of those girls.

“Oh, and Erin,” Lily mentioned.

Erin looked up at the call of her name.

“He wants to talk to you,” Lily said, falling lazily on the pillow.

“Me?” Erin asked quietly. “Sirius wants to talk to me? Now things really are getting demented.”

She got up from her bed and pulled a robe messily over her pajamas. She may as well see what he had to say. She was pretty much over him as well; she just hoped to return to being his friend.

She stepped outside the portrait hole to see Sirius Black pacing the hall, his hands in his pockets. He didn’t seem to have noticed her exiting the portrait hole. Slight bits of conversation could be heard under his breath.

“It wasn’t right what I did to you, I truly am sorry,” he muttered. “No, that’s too subtle. The words should flow.”

“I think they’re fine the way they are,” Erin injected.

Sirius looked up, his gray eyes wide in surprise. She was smiling, that was a good thing.

“So, you and Lily went for a walk,” Erin said, sitting down in front of the Portrait Hole.

“Yes,” Sirius responded, joining her.

“Isn’t her life so stressful? I try and keep up, but it’s so hard. That girl brings drama everywhere she turns,” Erin reminisced.

“I know what you mean,” Sirius sighed. “Poor Prongs isn’t much better. He gets himself in such awkward situations. I don’t know how he does it. He’s completely head over heels with Lily and she doesn’t know it.”

“They’re an odd pair, the two of them,” Erin said. “Some day, she’ll learn.”

“Not quite unlike us,” Sirius recalled. He turned his head slightly to meet her celery colored eyes.

“Listen Sirius, I knew when we got together-” Erin started.

“No, I should be sorry. No one has ever put any two cents thought into my actions. Lily did and she helped me realize that I’m not that different than she is. I don’t really regard the feelings of my girlfriends. It wasn’t right to just drop you for no reason,” he said, soothingly.

“Is friends more than you’re willing to offer?” she propositioned.

“Friends,” he said, putting his hand in hers.

“So, who’s the new girl?” Erin asked.

“What do you mean?” Sirius sharply questioned. “What makes you think there’s a new girl?”

“The fact that there is no new girl,” Erin promptly answered.

“James said the same thing,” he replied. “Some people are too perceptive for their own good.”

“James-perceptive?” she pondered. “Not really the perceptive type.”

“Actually, I quite agree with that. After six years, Lily’s still a no-go and he’s still chasing after he like a puppy,” Sirius reflected.

“You know Sirius, you’re steering clear of my original question,” Erin pointed out.

“As I said, perceptive,” Sirius muttered. “That’s what I get for getting smart friends.”

“It’s one of my friends, isn’t it?” Erin guessed.

Sirius stood up, fed the password to the Fat Lady and stepped in.

“Goodnight, Parker,” Sirius called, merrily.

Erin chuckled. She knew someone would finally be able to crack Sirius Black’s strict dating code.

The following morning, the birds normal chirping was slightly less noisy. The air was growing crisp with a fall chill and the leaves were changing colors. Lily loved the fall; it was such a colorful, alive part of nature.

She glanced out of Potion’s window, knowing she’d rather be out there than in here. The dungeon was dark aside from the stream of light coursing it’s way into the room.

She was paired with Ruby, which was obviously a good thing. She’d hate to have been paired with that slime ball Severus Snape or worst, James Potter, the most confusing of the male species.

“So, we add the dried tulip petals, stir three times-no wait, is that four?” Ruby asked, brushing her dark hair out of her face. Her blue eyes were strained in concentration.

“I have no clue,” Lily confessed. Their potion wasn’t half bad, looking at the competition around class.

Leah and Erin, two of the world’s worst potion makers, had been paired together.

“Your hair looks really pretty today,” Leah cheerfully observed, throwing in porcupine quills without her knowledge.

“Really?” Erin asked. “I thought I’d try something new with it.” She proceeded to grab her ink bottle instead of the lemon juice in which was assigned.

“Is it supposed to be this color?” Leah asked, seeing the dark purple substance bubbling before them.

“That would make a really nice nail polish,” Erin muttered.

“Couldn’t have said it better myself,” Leah confessed.

“Those two are so distracted they barely know what class they’re in,” Ruby sighed under her breath.

“My mum wrote yesterday,” Erin went on. “She says that our cat got into my makeup. She’s going to send pictures.”

“That sounds absolutely adorable,” Leah gushed. “Your cat does the cutest things, unlike the toad in our garden.”

“You have a toad in your garden too?” Erin excitedly questioned. “That is such a coincidence.”

“In Divination yesterday, the crystal ball showed green. Do you think it has to do with our toads?” Leah wondered. She took the hair ribbon out of her hair and placed it in the mess of a potion.

Someone was watching the two girls very carefully, besides the professor.

Sirius noticed their carefree manner and found it comforting. At least he wasn’t the only one who didn’t care about Potions. What good would it do later in life?

“Padfoot, are you listening?” James angrily asked.

“Yes, Prongs,” Sirius assured his best friend. “Lily did something cute.”

“Wow, you were listening,” an impressed James said.

Sirius rolled his eyes when his friend wasn’t looking. James was way too predictable. Maybe that was why Lily didn’t give him a shot. Predictable, distracted, infatuated Prongs.

Yet, James seemed to know what he wanted whilst Sirius was still searching. He found himself watching as Leah and Erin got told off for their explosive potion with unknown ingredients.

.X.

“Hogsmeade weekend,” Leah announced, rushing into the dorm with a red flush in her cheeks.

“Who’s got dates?” Erin shouted, coming in after and throwing her books on the ground.

“You two really should concern yourselves more with school than with the latest gossip,” Vita advised, looking up from her Potions essay. The whole class had been assigned to write on proper potion making behavior.

“Way to suck the fun out of my excitement,” Erin frowned. “I know you’ve got a date, little Vita. She’s avoiding the question because she is afraid of what we’ll say.”

“Very wise, Erin,” Leah denounced in a misty voice.

“Yes, what are your thoughts on the subject Miss Evans?” Erin turned to Lily.

“Huh?” Lily asked, clearly still daydreaming. She had been in the clouds all day. She had no idea why. James Potter hadn’t bothered her, spoken to her, embarrassed her, harassed her, or anything. Yet, she found him on her mind. What was happening to the world she lived in?

“Hogsmeade. Your thoughts,” Leah said, briefly.

“I don’t know who I’m going to ask,” Lily answered honestly.

“I know who you should ask,” Ruby’s voice was heard from the other side of the dorm.

“Who?” Erin, Leah, and Lily asked.

“Oh, honestly,” Vita huffed, rolling her eyes and laughing in spite of herself.

“James Potter, of course,” Ruby insisted. “Didn’t you even listen to one word of Sirius’ advice?”

“Yes,” Lily said quietly. “This is James Potter we’re talking about though. How do you know he doesn’t already have a date?”

“Even if he did, he would drop whoever it was and go with you anyways,” Vita said.

“And we’re the bad ones in this situation?” Leah asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“What?” Vita asked. “You’ve lured me into it now.”

“I just don’t know,” Lily said.

“What about you, Rubes?” Erin asked.

Ruby grinned and felt a blush rise in her cheeks.

“Remus Lupin asked me,” Ruby confessed.

“This is big!” Erin and Leah said, pouncing onto Ruby’s bed.

“How could you withhold such information from us?” Leah demanded.

“I don’t know,” Ruby said. “I just am glad it happened. He asked right after Potions, while I was covered in whatever that Potion you two made.”

“See,” Erin pointed out. “That teacher shouldn’t have taken points off. Our potion worked wonders.”

“It really did,” Leah insisted.

The three of them went into details of how Remus asked, gushing like teenage girls often do.

Vita seemed to be staring curiously at Lily. She hadn’t seemed to have forgotten the subject of their previous conversation, much to Lily’s displeasure.

“You’ve got to grow up someday, Lily,” Vita said. “What better time than the present?”

“But why him? Why is everyone so keen on James Potter?” Lily voiced. She knew why, everyone knew why. Yet, she made Vita state the obvious.

“Simply,” Vita paced. “He’s serious. His friends haven’t seen him seriously consider someone aside from you. He seemed to have grown up, and now, I feel he can help you as well.”

“I hope you’re right,” Lily said softly, getting up from her bed and walking down the steps, throwing away all her rules.

Vita smiled to herself, she knew Lily was going to make the right choice.

.X.

Lily had never felt so nervous before. The butterflies rose in her stomach and she never felt so awkward in her entire life. It was just a date to Hogsmeade.

Yet, she knew James would make it so much more. He would make it the best date to Hogsmeade. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for it.

She needed to grow up. She needed to take Vita’s advice and just go for it.

Her clothes seemed to just hang off her in an unflattering manner, her hair was sticking to her forehead in the most unattractive way possible, her face was pale; besides from the immense flush of color in her cheeks.

Why was it so hard to talk to a boy? She entered the Common Room, looking around.

She saw him, talking to a boy named Gary Freeman who played on the Quidditch team.

James was obviously chatting on about their last practice and what was to be expected in their next. He laughed at something Gary had said, the smile so genuine.

His black hair was ruffled, although it didn’t seem as though he’d been running his hand through it. His eyes were glowing with warmth and laughter.

It was horribly hard to walk those few steps to just ask him. She knew he wouldn’t turn her down, it had been what he had wanted for so long. She actually felt the feeling of wanting to spend a date with him as well; laughing and talking about everything. She knew he was a person who was comfortable around everyone, which would ease her into feeling comfortable around him.

Was she willing to throw her entire philosophy out the door and just proceed onto a relationship with no ground rules? It was asking a bit much.

Listen to Vita, walk over there, you can do it, she thought to herself.

She felt her feet move and she found herself next to James and Gary. The two stopped talking and looked at her.

“Lily,” James nodded in apprehension.

“Hi Potter,” Lily said, nervously.

“Anything we can help you with?” he asked nicely, smiling slightly for her.

The smile did it; she knew what had to happen now.

“Gary, will you go to Hogsmeade with me?”

Lily Evans had officially dug herself in the deepest hole possible.

7. Wasting My Time

Chapter 7-Wasting My Time

.X.

As she sat in the Three Broomsticks, listening to the dramatic stories told by Gary Freeman of his years spent playing Exploding Snap, Lily sighed in disappointment.

She had done it yet again; she had asked someone on a date that she knew was only temporary. Poor Gary had no idea. She made occasional consenting sounds when he asked questions.

She honestly was not listening. She was hoping to get this date over with so she could go back to her dorm and scrunch herself into a ball. She had almost taken Sirius and Vita’s advice; she had been so close. James was right beside her as she deliberately asked someone other than him.

She knew that he was expecting that someone to be him; the someone she was going with to Hogsmeade. His eyes had almost lighted up at the prospect of her approaching. Something inside of her couldn’t do it. He wouldn’t give up on her, never. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for commitment to someone that serious.

So, there she sat with Gary Freeman and his desperate attempts at conversation.

.X.

“At least she’s broken her no-Gryffindor rule,” James observed from a booth with his friends. Lily was sitting with Gary Freeman, a Chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch Team.

“I seriously thought she was going to ask you, mate,” Sirius sadly spoke.

“That’s the thing, so did I,” James replied glumly. “I didn’t even know she knew Gary.”

“I don’t reckon she does,” Sirius knowingly acknowledged. The only Marauder absent from this rendezvous was Remus. He was on a date with Ruby Wallace, one of Lily’s friends.

“Moony understands girls so well,” Peter compromised. “Maybe we can ask him later about it. He is, after all, on a date with one of Lily’s best friends.”

“Fat load of help that would do,” James commented. “Girl’s are all so secretive. One minute you think you understand them, the next you don’t. It’s an awful never-ending cycle we males must face each and every date.”

“Never heard you speak a truer word, Prongs,” Sirius mumbled.

“What’s your troubles?” James asked, catching on to Sirius’ tone.

“I don’t have any troubles,” Sirius quickly covered up. “In fact, I’m jealous that you have them and I don’t. It’s such a stimulating thing, troubles.”

James knew his friend was hiding something, but he didn’t push it. He watched Lily once more, taking sips of his Butter beer every once in awhile.

What did Gary have that he didn’t?

.X.

Leah Graham stormed into the Girls Dormitory, her eyes set on prying information from Lily. She threw her purse onto her bed, looked over at Lily’s crumpled figure and she picked up a pillow and threw it at her friend with all her might.

“What was that for?” Lily shouted.

“You,” Leah replied. “You are so stupid.”

“That’s a bit rich,” Lily coldly replied. “Coming from someone who can barely make a simple potion.”

Leah rolled her eyes, ignoring her friends comment.

“You just wait until Erin gets back from her date,” Leah warned. “She’s a bit angry as well. Little Vita’s livid.”

“What about Rubes? I suppose she’s mad as well?” Lily questioned.

“Actually, no,” Leah said thoughtfully. “She’s on a date with a Marauder. Something you should have been doing this afternoon.”

“So this is what this is all about?” Lily questioned, sitting up in her bed.

“Lily Evans!” a voice screamed, followed by loud, dramatic footsteps and the pushing of people. “Out of my way, emergency.”

Erin Parker was a small girl, but her eyes shone with fury. Lily stood her own ground.

“Oh, don’t give me that look,” Erin advised. “You know why I’m angry.”

“Actually, I don’t,” Lily said. “You all have no reason to be mad at me. I did nothing wrong.”

“Gary Freeman?” Leah questioned. “You call that nothing wrong? Oh, my friend, I dated him in third year. Dull as a doorknob.”

“No, he’s not,” Lily protested, hearing the lie in her own voice.

“What did he talk about?” Leah asked. “Quidditch and Exploding Snap, I suppose?”

Lily couldn’t lie about that. Her date had only talked about that; not really asking any personal questions. The two of them barely knew each other and he hadn’t really acknowledged her any different than anyone else.

“Fine,” Lily said. “He was dead boring.”

“Now that this misconception has been addressed,” Erin cleared her throat. “We are now onto the reason I am extremely mad at you.”

“Why?” Lily asked, rolling her eyes and speaking in monotone.

“Do you think we’re trying to help you for our health? Sorry, but that is definitely not the reason,” Erin bitterly spoke.

“Help me?” Lily questioned. “What exactly is wrong with me?”

“You’re seventeen and you’ve never held a steady boyfriend,” Leah responded.

“Loads of people haven’t,” Lily pointed out. “Look at Leah.”

“You may be right about that,” Leah offered. “Yet, I am not afraid. That is the difference.”

“I’m not afraid,” Lily insisted. Her friends disbelieving looks were shot her way. “I’m not.”

“James Potter is not the someone to be afraid of,” Erin said. “I do live next door to him, after all.”

“Why didn’t you ask him?” Leah asked.

“I guess I really was afraid,” Lily confessed. “I don’t know if I’m ready for a commitment.”

“What is the worst that can happen?” Leah wondered.

“Someone could get hurt,” Lily said, feeling tears sting her eyes. “I try and end things before anyone gets hurt. Ethan was my boyfriend, but wasn’t hurt because we hadn’t dated that long. With James, I know he would get hurt. He’s been after me for so long. I couldn’t stand to just bring him up, and then shut him down.”

“It’s ok for all these other guys who like you though?” Erin questioned.

“Admit it, Lily. You care for, James. That is the reason you don’t want to hurt him. He’s shown you more attention than any boy here and yet you’ve always refused him. It’s not because you can’t stand him,” Leah inferred. “It’s because you like him a lot more than you let on.”

“You guys don’t understand,” Lily cried. “When my dad died, everyone around me got hurt. Of course, me and Petunia were crushed, but my poor mum was in a state of shock. It was the most awful experience of my life. She was so in love with him, and he just left.”

“We only want what’s best for you, Lily,” Erin insisted. “We want you to realize that a life of fear is not healthy. It’s not fulfilling. You’ll never know what could have been if you just sit back and take control of everything. You have to let nature run it’s course.”

“You have to let me do things on my own,” Lily cried. “I love you guys so much, but please, just let me try and live my own life.”

She stormed out of the dorm, her hair askew and makeup all down her face. At that point, she really didn’t care about her appearance.

“She’s right,” Erin whispered. “We can't live her life for her. We just have to let her make her own choices.”

“She’ll never learn,” Leah angrily hissed. “Never. She’s got to learn.”

“I don’t think we’re the ones to teach her,” Erin truthfully said.

.X.

“Evans, hey Evans!” a voice called as Lily stormed out of the Portrait Hole.

She knew that voice; the voice. He wasn’t the one she needed to talk to, she didn’t need to talk to anyone.

“Lily Evans, please stop,” his voice pleaded.

She walked faster, her wand in her hand. He jogged up her, tapped her on the shoulder.

She whipped around, wand at his chest.

“Leave me alone, Potter,” Lily cried.

“Evans, what’s wrong?” he asked her, seeing her tears and bleary eyes.

“Nothing of your concern,” she vaguely answered.

“Honestly, I care. What’s wrong?” he asked. “Did Freeman do anything to you? I’ll kill him.”

“It has nothing to do with Gary,” Lily protested. “Nothing. I told you, Potter, this is none of your business.”

“I’m just trying to help,” he answered. “I thought we were getting along ok.”

“You thought wrong,” she replied.

“What’s your problem?” he asked, his voice getting harsher but staying at a low, reasonable volume. “All I’ve been to you is nice so far and you seem to feel the need to act unreasonably rude to me.”

“You’re the one who cares,” Lily said, still walking. "I personally have no reason to care at how far our platonic relationship goes."

“I think you’re wrong,” James yelled. He was standing, not walking with her anymore. She paused and looked back at him.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“I mean, you care,” he said blatantly.

“What makes you think that?” she wondered.

“Your eyes. I can see it in your eyes. You’re scared,” he said.

Was she really that readable? That was the second time someone had accused her of being afraid.

“Just tell me this, Evans. Am I wasting my time?” James asked, staring right into her eyes, absorbing every inch of emotion left in them.

She failed to respond. Her lips wouldn’t lie nor tell the truth.

“What is it? You can yell at me any other time, but the moment the subject turns to you and me, it’s as though you’re incapable of speaking,” he said. “Am I wasting my time?”

When she failed to respond once more, he shook his head and walked off in a different direction, leaving her alone and crying.

“No, James. You’re not wasting your time,” she said easily. Although, this time, no one was there to hear her.

A/N: Please review.

8. Realizations

Chapter 8-Realizations

It almost seemed as if James would have given up on Lily. She certainly thought that was the end. Yet, just as he had proven for the last six and a half years, James Potter was a persistent person. Lily caught him catching glimpses of her, smiling at her, generally looking in her direction.

Not one of her boyfriends had ever come back to her after a break up. Although she and James had never dated, he seemed unwilling to give up. It was still hard for her. James was a person who would want everything; he had waited so long. It would be horrible to just accept, date for a little bit, then dump him after all his continuing efforts.

So she sat, taking notes on the most boring of subjects, History of Magic. She looked over at her friends. Ruby and Vita were passing notes, Erin was braiding her own hair, and Leah was sleeping. Lily looked around. It seemed as though her friend was not the only one sleeping. Sirius Black was sleeping as well.

“Brutus,” Professor Binns called, pointing his finger at Sirius. “Wake up! You too, Granola.”

“Padfoot, wake up,” James nudged his friend.

“Was he talking to me?” Sirius slurred, his eyes half open.

“Yes,” Remus harshly whispered, embarrassed for his friend. Professor Binns looks quite angry. It seemed as though he had been neglected one time too many.

Ruby had stopped passing notes and was trying to wake Leah.

“Bower, sleeping in my class is unacceptable,” Professor Binns lectured, his ghostly eyes narrowed in frustration.

“The name is Black. Say it with me, Sirius Black,” Sirius commented.

“Whatever,” the ghost brushed off. “You will never pass your NEWT’s if you continually drone off in this class. What will you become without History of Magic, boy?”

“Minister?” Sirius offered.

“No!” Professor Binns shouted. “You’ll become some sort of criminal with that attitude.”

“Padfoot, a criminal. Nice one, Professor,” Peter chuckled.

“This is no laughing matter,” Professor Binns continued. “You too, Garnet. No more sleeping in my class. Classes are for learning.”

“Could you try teaching something a little more stimulating then?” Leah asked, clearly frustrated from being woken up.

“That’s what I’m talking about,” Sirius agreed.

“Detention! Glue and Barns, you’ll serve detention in the trophy room tonight at eight o’clock. No magic,” Professor Binns wailed.

With a slight shake, he resumed teaching the class.

“That senile living dead,” Leah grumbled. “I’ll be there for hours doing those trophies.”

“At least you have Sirius,” Erin pointed out. “He serves detention almost every night. Trophy room should be a usual thing for him.”

“Wow,” Leah whispered. “I’m paired with a pro.”

“That’s not something to be proud of,” Vita reminded her.

“When you have never done much Muggle housework in your life, it is!” Leah argued.

“Ladies!” Professor Binns yelled. “I am trying to teach.”

“You keep trying,” Leah muttered under her breath.

.X.

“Hey Evans!” James called, walking up beside Lily as she went to go sit outside.

“What do you want, Potter?” she asked. This was the first time that the two of them had spoken since their so-called ‘incident’.

“Just to talk,” he answered coolly. “Also, to inform you of a feeling I’ve been getting.”

“What kind of feeling?” Lily questioned.

“That we’d end up together,” he said.

“Oh,” she answered, rolling her eyes. “That feeling.”

“You don’t feel it?” he asked her. “Should I recap the first time I felt this feeling?”

“It’s not necessary,” she informed him.

“There I was,” he ignored her. “Standing in line, about to get sorted. My nerves were a mess, I know, hard to believe. The Sorting Hat was singing it’s song. Sirius was dancing along to it. I remember this because I was thinking, ‘Wow, he has no rhythm’. Anyways, as I was standing there, I saw that eye-catching hair of yours. Even at eleven, I knew you were something special. I felt a feeling that you were someone worth getting to know. Since then, I’ve just been drawn to you. It may have been the magic of the school, or even Sirius’ dancing. I tend to think it was the hair.”

“What a story,” she replied, sitting down underneath a tree and laying out her homework.

She had the rest of the afternoon to finish, and then she had to return to classes. The sun was shining, the leaves turning their autumn color. Here she was, with James Potter, unable to concentrate on her homework. He was recalling the first moment he became infatuated with her and she actually had listened.

“Isn’t it?” he admired. “That’s one the grandkids will be hearing.”

“Maybe your grandkids,” Lily said. “Although, I’m not too sure your wife would like that.”

“Oh, didn’t I tell you?” he inquired. “Right after Hogwarts, you and I are going to get married and have dozens of little kids. They’ll have your hair, your eyes, your intelligence, and my killer reflexes. Yes, only my reflexes will be passed on. Hopefully, those poor kids won’t have this mop of hair.”

“Fat chance of any of that happening,” she said, still trying to read from a Potions textbook. It was odd that she couldn’t block him out. Normally, when they went through such a routine, he would talk and flatter, and she would all out refuse to listen. Something was wrong. She wasn’t in control anymore and she was actually hearing what James was saying.

“You wait, Lily,” he predicted. “You’ll succumb to my dreadful charm in no time.”

Normally, this would have sounded arrogant to Lily. Yet, this time, she found it humorous. He wasn’t gloating, he was just trying to act confidant in front of a girl. It was sort of cute, in a way.

“What charm?” she teased.

Oh no, was that me flirting? Was I actually returning a line to his dreadful attempts? Did he notice?, Lily thought to herself anxiously.

He noticed alright, but he seemed pleased about it. His eyes danced in a way that seemed to have recognition of what was going on. He seemed to have figured out the reply to the question Lily had left unanswered the previous week. He wasn’t allowed to give up on her yet; not just yet anyways. There was still hope.

.X.

“You’re not giving up?” Remus asked. “Even after what happened last week?”

“No, Moony. Today has proven to be something meaningful. I was talking to her today and she was actually taking in the words I was saying. Something in her tone, her eyes, her presence, it seemed to convince me that I wasn’t supposed to be done with her yet. There was more to uncover, you know?” James explained, flopping onto his bed with a lovesick, happy look about him.

“No, Prongs,” Sirius said apologetically. “I really don’t. You’re starting to scare me. Did she seduce him, remove his masculinity, and instill another language in his head?”

“Padfoot, he’s in love,” Remus deduced. “That’s why he’s acting like this.”

“Love? You think love helped him go mental? I’m still thinking Evans did something. Those girls are conniving creatures,” Sirius proposed, all while getting ready to leave for his detention.

“Hasn’t stopped you from liking them,” James snapped. “Speaking of, there is a new one. I’ll figure out which one you like.”

“You don’t have the brains,” Sirius topped.

“So there is a girl,” Remus uncovered.

“You’re very perceptive, Moony,” James praised. “We’ll get it out of him in good time. Three Marauders are better than one.”

“Unless you’re trying to fight the greatest Marauder of all,” Sirius shot back, smiling at the humor in all of it.

“We all know I’m the greatest Marauder of all,” Peter said, dramatically and utterly convinced it was the truth.

“Yes, Pete. You’re absolutely right,” Sirius said, sarcastically.

“Where would we be without the antics of the infamous Peter Pettigrew?” James questioned.

“The stealth, cunning, Wormtail,” Remus provided.

“The thumb-sucking, mama’s boy, lard of a human being, Pettigrew,” Sirius mumbled.

“You forgot bed-wetter,” James added.

.X.

Leah entered the trophy room at quarter after eight that night, breathing in the smell of wax. She saw Sirius, bending over the already gleaming trophies.

He looked up at her, hearing the footsteps she brought in, and smiled.

“We shouldn’t have a hard time tonight,” he explained. “I polished them just last week.”

“They need to get some more original ideas for detentions,” Leah mused.

“I agree,” he said. “This gets a little boring after awhile. The thrill is gone.”

She grabbed a washcloth and some polish and started scrubbing at the golden awards. She looked over and saw Sirius, his black hair swaying as he worked. His gray eyes were narrowed in concentration. He looked remarkably hardworking in such a light. She laughed to herself.

He looked up at her, confused.

“You look so different,” she commented. “Normally, you’re just plotting the next prank. When you’re in here, you looked somewhat innocent.”

“Wow,” he contemplated. “No one’s called me innocent before.”

“I said you looked innocent,” she said. “That means nothing as to how you actually are.”

They returned working. He looked over at her, her strawberry blonde hair tied into a loose knot at the back of her head. Her amber eyes were fun and energetic. Detention seemed to have no effect on her free spirit whatsoever.

For that, he was in awe.

A/N: I personally like that chapter. I hope you all did too.

9. Against All Odds

Chapter 9-Against All Odds

.X.

How can I just let you walk away
Just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking
Every breath with you
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all
How can you just walk away from me
When all I can do is watch you leave
'Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain
And even shared the tears
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now
Oh there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face
Take a look at me now
'Cause there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against all odds
And that's what I've got to face

.X.

Willingly, Lily accepted James as a friend. It was hard not to. He had become someone that she enjoyed being around. His bright, optimistic smile always encouraged her to try a bit harder. Even at the times when the two of them disputed, she reminded herself that their differences were to be expected.

She was still unable to accept him romantically though. That did not mean his persistence wavered; it seemed to strengthen that if possible.

So, as she sat waiting for him in the Common Room, she remembered that he was her friend. Even if he was ten minutes late for patrol, he was her friend.

“James Potter,” she screamed up. “We were made Head Boy and Head Girl due to our responsible actions. You do realize that we’re still responsible for these responsible actions!”

James heard Lily calling him. He looked into the eyes of his best friend once more. Her ringing tones made him turn away, but not before he mentioned something.

“Sirius, you do know I’ll figure out who she is,” James reminded him. “I will find out who you like.”

Sirius just smiled sweetly, moving aside some of the clutter restraining him from a comfortable night’s sleep.

James’ raven hair could be seen turning down the stone staircase. Sirius chuckled to himself. It was simply impossible that his friend would even suspect the girl with whom he possibly liked. James just didn’t have the attention span for that sort of thing.

.X.

“Potter, where were you?” Lily requested to know. Her red hair was inching into her eyes but her fierce gaze didn’t stray.

“I was just pestering a friend in need,” James replied, honest and to the point. “Come on Evans, do you really want to be late?”

“But, you’re the one who-” Lily started. She then realized how stupid she sounded. She shook her head and merely rolled her eyes. “Fine, let’s go.”

The two of them swiftly exited the portrait hole, leaving behind an alert guard to the Common room. The Fat Lady was watching the two of them with amused eyes. Her friend Violet seemed to feel something was hysterical. Lily had the curious feeling that the two portraits had been discussing she and James.

“So, where do you want to start first?” James propositioned. “We could start near the Astronomy tower, although I doubt couples are already there. It’s probably be best to patrol near the kitchens. Peter’s probably there stuffing his face. I could do with yelling at him again today.”

Lily almost laughed at this. James was completely unserious about the entire Head Boy charade. It seemed as though he knew he didn’t fit the stereotypical rule abider. It also appeared that he didn’t wish to fit that profile. There was something so keen about his whole attitude on the matter.

“I suppose the Charms corridor would be a good start,” Lily suggested. “That’s a general walking area. Most people pass through it to reach their point of destination.”

So, they went to it. Lily noticed the way James took long, slow strides opposed to her short, quick ones. His legs were much longer than hers, seeing as he was nearly seven inches taller than her.

He started whistling a tune, his hands resting in his pockets and his wand indisposed. She usually held hers at her side, in case of emergency. He felt so at ease, opposed to her constant anxiety.

He was just different. There was no other word for it. She didn’t find these characteristics as quirks either. They seemed simply new to her structured world. He lived freely, spontaneously. He was completely carefree. Lily had no idea why he hadn’t chased after Erin; Erin was a carefree spirit as well.

Why had he chased after her? Lily wasn’t the most remarkable girl. She was pretty, but not stunningly beautiful. She was nice to most, but generally short-tempered with him. She was smart, but she worked so very hard to achieve her marks. She was structured, balanced, uptight, anxious, fearful, and generally insecure. What had James Potter found in Lily Evans that he had liked?

This question poised through her mind several times during their nighttime stroll. He didn’t seem to mind the silence between them. It was actually comforting, on both ends. Lily thought it remarkable how two people could share silence without it becoming awkward.

She didn’t feel the need to express every single concern with him. Somehow, everything would be ok. It was new to feel so positive. That was what James Potter was, positive for the most part.

“What do you think, Lily?” he asked her.

Lily hadn’t caught the other part of his sentence. She had been spacing out, thinking.

“What?” she asked.

“I said, it’s pretty dead tonight. That must mean everyone’s doing homework,” James spoke. “Well, Sirius isn’t. I am fairly certain he’s asleep though. Sleep does him good, he’s on his feet far too long.”

“He seems to have a never-ending supply of adrenaline,” Lily noted.

They had walked down towards the kitchens, which Lily had discovered last year. She imagined James had managed to come across it back in first year. That just proved how adventurous he was.

“Sirius is a difficult person to explain. He has to lack common sense to a certain extent. He dragged us into some pretty complicated situations before,” James reflected.

“He seems like a good friend, all the same,” Lily assured him. She had never really disliked Sirius, she had just disapproved of some of his actions.

“The best. I’d rather be in a tight situation with him than an easy one without him,” James insisted. “He’s always there for you, no matter how stupid you are.”

James knew this from personal experience. No matter how hung up on Lily he became, Sirius always supported him. He and Moony did object sometimes, but for the most part they were behind him.

“What about you?” James asked. “How are your friends?”

“My friends?” Lily questioned, somewhat shocked by the question. He knew all her friends. “You know them.”

“You know Sirius,” James pointed out.

“Well, Leah and Erin have been there from the beginning. Leah’s the one we’re all most protective of, seeing as she acts without thinking. Erin and I have been best friends since first year. Ruby is the softy. She’s amazing and gives great advice. She’s the glue for all of us. Little Vita is the mediator. She’s probably the most mature out of all of us.”

“And what about you?” he asked her, the two of them walking at the same stride now.

“Me?” Lily asked quietly. She had never really thought of herself in her group of friends. “I suppose I’m caught in the middle somewhere. I’m a blend of everything.”

“Really?” a surprised James questioned. “I always thought you stuck out a bit more.”

“How so?” Lily asked. This was partly luring him into answering the question rambling in her head. Why did he like her so much? Sure, he had mentioned natural chemistry. That couldn’t possibly have been the case. If it was natural, something would have happened before their seventh year there.

“You’re a passionate person. You are opinionated, you’re bloody intelligent. You’re funny when you think it’s appropriate. You’re mature, caring, you’ve got your heart in the right place. You’re just a good person, Lily Evans,” James calculated.

How wrong he was, she thought to herself. She had broken so many guys’ hearts, James included, for absolutely no reason aside from her own fears.

“You’re the good person,” Lily insisted. “You seem to find good in everyone. I’m not the person you say I am.”

“Oh, trust me. You have your flaws, as we all do. I wouldn’t want to know someone perfect. How interesting would that be? You’re normal and every day. I like that in a girl,” he said.

She felt her cheeks burn. He was going onto that track. They were reaching that cloudy section of their relationship. It was hazy and difficult to determine. Yet, they were steering onto that road once more.

“Listen,” he said, stopping the rhythmic pattern of their walking. “I didn’t want to embarrass you. I know it’s not in my favor for us to be together. I know you have some issues. I know I have some issues as well as some kinks. But all those things can be fixed!”

She didn’t say anything, just feeling emotions that hadn’t struck her.

“You’re so damn stubborn, Lily. That’s why I like you, though. You’re impossible to persuade. I’ve tried from day one and have yet to prevail. You’re a stubborn broad and I’m an arrogant bastard. I know this, you know this. Can’t we move past it? I just want to be with you,” James rambled on, his voice unsteady and speaking at a rapid pace.

“It’s so simple, Lily. You can’t be afraid. You just need to do it,” he said, staring into her eyes.

She looked at the floor, her cheeks still burning.

He put his hand on his hip and looked in another direction, clearly angry.

“We’re getting absolutely nowhere,” he sighed.

When looking back on such an occasion, Lily couldn’t remember what exactly moved her. It may have been his brutal use of honestly. It could have been the cute way he huffed when he was angry. It may have been a step forward in facing her fears.

All she did know was that she was kissing James Potter smack on the lips in the middle of a hallways, throwing all her rules temporarily out of the window.

A/N:Well, there's some action for all of you. They are NOT together. Please review.

10. Opening Up

Chapter 10-Opening Up

I wanted to find somewhere to hide
And I opened up and left those fears inside
And I wanted to be in near on this
Only to find that there was no one there but me

But I woke up to real life
And I realized its not worth running from anymore
When there was nowhere left to hide I found out
That nothings real here but I wont stop now until I find a better part of me

The smell of cheap nail polish lingered in the air of the seventh year girls' dorms. Various copies of Witch Weekly were sprawled out on the floor, the bathroom was cluttered with numerous amounts of exfoliates. Four girls were spending a night in, catching up on their previous week, and generally discussing the regular juicy topics.

“Peter Pettigrew,” Erin Parker challenged.

Leah Graham raised one of her strawberry blonde eyebrows at her friend. Her brain was straining in concentration and she bit her nails momentarily.

“Never,” Leah announced. “I know he may seem sweet but I bet he’s the biggest pervert known to wizard kind.”

“So there is a boy our Leah won’t date,” Ruby declared. Her lush black hair was in curlers and she had been fixing Erin’s hair into two French braids. She had paused to claim a complete shocked expression.

“I do have standards,” Leah replied coolly.

“Since when?” Vita questioned. Leah threw a copy of Witch Weekly over at her friend. The girls erupted in giggles.

“I hope Lily gets back soon,” Ruby sighed. “Why does the Head Girl have to patrol even on Friday nights? It should be made illegal.”

“We need to do something about her hair,” Erin noted. “She’s always wearing it the same. I have these great hair clips that she could use-”

“Lily’s pretty the way she is,” Vita cut her off. “She’s had more boyfriends than I’ve ever had.”

Leah rolled her eyes and laughed. It was her and Lily’s little tradition, the whole boy charade. They used to just see who could date more, but now it held deeper meaning for Lily. Leah knew this, but she pretended that it was still their little game.

“Back to my question,” Erin stated, her celery green eyes staring at Leah. “Why not Peter Pettigrew?”

“Did you not hear the word pervert come out of my mouth?” Leah re-answered, her eyes skimming the fashion section of her magazine.

“Rubes,” Erin called behind her. Ruby was almost finished with one of the blond French braids she had been working on. “Same question.”

“He’s just different from the other Marauders,” Ruby said thoughtfully. “I mean, I’ve never been very shallow, but he isn’t that attractive. Look at Remus-”

“Aw,” the three girls squealed. Ruby’s cheeks blazed red.

“It’s not like that,” Ruby insisted. “We had one date.”

“Sure,” Leah sarcastically agreed. “One meaningless date. That very date seemed to change your entire perspective on Witch Weekly. If I’m correct, you have been reading them, have you not?”

That shut Ruby up. She continued braiding Erin’s hair in silence.

“Vita, how about you? Peter Pettigrew?” Erin propositioned.

“I am sorry to say this, but ever since he spilled all his ink over my robes in History of Magic in second year, I have really not liked him,” Vita answered stiffly, her nose screwed up in dislike.

“He really did do that on purpose,” Erin recalled. “Ok, here’s a new one, Sirius Black.”

“What about him?” Leah asked quickly. A bit too quickly.

“Everyone likes him,” Erin informed her.

“Not everyone,” Vita insisted. “Lily never liked him. Nor did Leah.”

“We all have at one point in time,” Erin confessed. “I liked him from fourth year until the beginning of this year. I even liked him after he dumped me.”

“When I was in third year, I would have told anyone who would listen that Sirius Black was a bloody sex god,” Ruby reminisced. “Things change, people change. I suppose that I don’t base everything on physical appearance anymore.”

“I am proud to say I do,” Leah smiled. “It’s the best way of not getting hurt. Sure, I do like people for who they are. No one can deny that attraction isn’t the first thing you feel for someone you like though.”

“She’s right on that one,” Vita agreed.

“What about you, Leah?” Erin asked, eyeing the cooling cream suspiciously.

Leah darted her amber eyes over to her friend. Erin wasn’t asking because she suspected anything, she was asking for mere curiosity.

“Don’t use that cooling cream,” Leah warned. “It isn’t right for your skin type.”

“We have the same skin type,” Erin reminded her. “What’s wrong with you? You’ve turned all red. Are you sweating?”

“No,” Leah insisted, although it was true. Her face had grown warm, but her arms had goose bumps quickly spreading onto them.

Before Erin could question Leah anymore, the door opened in a burst and a flash of red hair could be seen running past them and flopping onto a bed.

“Lily?” Ruby asked quietly. They could hear their friend crying into her pillow.

“What’s wrong with her?” Erin mouthed over to Leah.

Leah shrugged her shoulders and made to go sit on the edge of the bed. She patted Lily’s back and motioned for the others to come over as well.

“What’s wrong, Lils?” Leah asked, her voice soothing and somewhat protective. “Was it Potter? Did he do anything to you?”

“What did he say?” Erin demanded. “I’ll go down there and strangle him with my bloody hands if he-”

“No,” Lily’s muffled voice cut her off. “Don’t.”

“What’s the problem?” Ruby asked. “What’s wrong?”

“Lily,” Vita said. “We’re here. We’ll listen.”

Lily mumbled something into her pillow, something only Leah could hear.

“Was he that bad of a kisser?” Leah asked.

“Who?” the other three demanded, their eyes wide in surprise.

“I never would have thought a kiss from James Potter would make someone cry. I always thought it’d be hot and passionate. A bit like James himself,” Leah figured. “Wow, I must have been wrong.”

“He’s a bad kisser?” Erin asked. “Even I thought he would be a good kisser. His reputation is going to go down the loo now.”

“James Potter?” Ruby inquired. “A bad kisser? Are you sure you heard her right, Leah?”

“She said she kissed him,” Leah insisted. “I am not deaf.”

Lily turned her body over, exposing her bloodshot eyes and blotchy cheeks. Her hair was ruffled and her lips swollen (perhaps from kissing?).

“It was amazing,” she whispered. “Bloody amazing.”

“Why are you crying then?” Vita asked. “Normally, after a good snog, a girl doesn’t cry.”

“I didn’t want it to be bloody amazing!” Lily screamed. “That means we’ll have to date and then I’ll have to break his heart!”

“Why?” Ruby whispered. “Why do you have to? You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

“After a kiss like that,” Lily started. “I don’t know if I ever want to kiss anyone again.”

Leah hugged her friend sympathetically. Lily’s heart was saying one thing, but her logic was saying something else completely.

“I need to have a talk with someone,” Leah excused herself. “It’s important. I think I just realized something.”

Her friends’ eyes conveyed that they would take care of Lily. Right now, Leah knew she was being a bit of a hypocrite. She wanted Lily to go out with James, kiss James, love James. She wanted Lily to find true love with someone who cared a lot about her. She wanted Lily to throw their stupid game out the window.

Yet, Leah knew she wasn’t following her own advice. She was merely ignoring her feelings. If she wanted Lily to do something about it, she needed to take the first step forward.

Sirius Black was talking with his friends in the Common Room, the four of them laughing and talking with smiles spread across their faces. He was so happy, so alive. She couldn’t help smiling in spite of herself. He saw her from across the room, noticed that she walked down the stairs in her pajamas, a messy ponytail, and wet nails.

She forgot all of these things, breathing in a comforting breath. She felt her feet walk towards him. His gray eyes were looking into hers, probably wondering what on Earth she was doing.

She noticed James was smiling, probably happy Lily had taken a step up. He was probably a little put out that she had run away. Leah desperately wished to tell him to hang in there. She had more important things to take care of at that moment.

“Sirius,” Leah said, clearing her throat. A lump had appeared, preventing her words from coming out clearly. She brushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear. She seemed to be talking to the floor. He grabbed her chin and lifted it up so their eyes met.

“Can I talk to you?” she asked. He nodded. He grabbed her hand and led her out of the Common Room. She felt the eyes of the three remaining Marauders on them.

His hand was still loosely on hers, sending a tingling feeling up her spine. Their feet were moving in no particular direction at all.

“Sirius,” she started. “I think you should know something.”

His eyes looked over at hers, his black hair falling loosely onto his face. She smiled.

“I like you,” she admitted. “I didn’t know it until just now though. Something Lily said made me think and the first person I thought of was you. This made me wonder if there was something more than a potential friendship there. I don’t do well with relationships - ever.”

She was rambling. She knew it, he knew it. She expected him to go running in the other direction. He just laughed.

“You know, I seem to have that same problem,” he confessed. “Just so you know, I like you too. You’re very pretty.”

She laughed and blushed. Sirius Black had called her pretty. It was extremely ordinary, but sweet in a way.

“Thank you,” she said. “I liked spending detention with you.”

“We should get in trouble more often,” he said, winking at her.

She laughed. He was so cocky, but she knew it was an act. He was just doing it to lighten the mood. She had never been very shy about boys.

She found herself kissing him smack on the lips, enjoying the sweet taste of them on hers. Leah officially was not a fan of subtlety.

……………

A knock came at the door. Lily’s eyes darted to it from the bed. Ruby got up and answered it. A small, first year girl came in, looking at the dorm in awe.

“Wow,” she whispered.

“Can we help you?” Ruby chuckled.

“You’re not Lily, are you?” the girl asked, eyeing Ruby’s black curls.

“How’d you know?” Ruby asked.

“The boy downstairs said Lily was the fiery red head with captivating green eyes. You don’t have red hair,” the girl said, pointing at Ruby’s hair.

“I dyed it,” Ruby muttered sarcastically. The girl looked annoyed at Ruby and glanced around the room. She saw Lily on the bed.

“That’s Lily,” the girl said, sticking her tongue out at Ruby.

“Very perceptive for a first year,” Ruby mumbled. “What gave her away? The fact that she’s the head girl?”

“A boy downstairs wants to talk to you,” the girl said to Lily. She handed a Kleenex over to Lily and pointed to Lily’s eyes. “He’s very cute. I suggest you dab at that running mascara.”

“What’d this boy look like?” Lily asked, laughing.

“He had messy black hair,” the girl said. “I wanted to run my hand through it, it looked so soft. I think he'd let me touch it.”

“You and the rest of the female population in Hogwarts,” Erin announced. She took the girl from the hand and started fidgeting with her hair.

“Go see him,” Vita ushered off, taking cue from Erin and Ruby. They were now putting some makeup on the girl.

Lily wiped away the tears from her eyes, ran her hand through her hair, and adjusted her shirt.

She walked down the stairs and saw James at the bottom of them. He was smiling shyly.

“Hi,” she said quietly.

“Hi,” James replied. Lily noticed that the Common Room was empty now. How James had managed that, she would never know.

“How are you?” he asked.

“Ok,” she replied honestly. “Just a bit confused.”

“I would say so,” he joked. “You kiss me and then you run off.”

“About that-” she started. He placed a finger to her lips.

“Don’t make excuses,” he whispered. “You just made my year, Lily Evans.”

She blushed. She started nervously playing with her hands, avoiding his eyes. He had such deep, penetrating eyes. They were so serious, yet so playful at the same time. They were beautiful.

“Why are you fighting it, Lily?” he asked her. “Why? Can’t you feel it?”

“Feel what?” she demanded. “What am I supposed to be feeling?”

“Love,” he simply answered. “It’s not very hard to identify. I feel it, I know you can too. Something this strong doesn’t just come from one person.”

“James,” she pleaded. Her eyes were filling with tears once more. “I can’t.”

He looked disappointed. His eyes hit the floor this time. He broke their eye contact. His voice was low and his head was down.

“I understand.”

That was all he said before trudging up the stairs, into his cold, lonely dorm.

A/N: Hope you all liked it. Please review.

11. Chemistry

Chapter 11-Chemistry

“Is it just me or are those two joined at the hip?” Vita Robins asked, watching her friend Leah stride into the Great Hall, Sirius Black following behind her.

“Surprisingly, I think they make a wonderful couple,” Erin declared, stirring her oatmeal around with her shiny, metallic spoon. Her blonde hair was scooped up into a loose bun and her celery green eyes were relaxed. She didn’t seem perturbed whatsoever by Leah and Sirius’ relationship. The truth was, she was a little upset. Yet, she wasn’t lying when she said they made a good couple.

“You’re joking, right?” Vita clarified for herself, knowing Erin all too well. Her pale gray eyes scanned her friend for some slight sign of annoyance or possibly envy. Erin had been hung up on Sirius Black for what felt like eternity.

“Hey guys,” Leah greeted, sitting down casually next to Ruby. She tugged the loose strands of strawberry blonde hair out of her eyes before helping herself to a banana. Sirius sat down beside her, resting his arm on her shoulder. The two of them were completely unaware that everyone was shocked by their newfound relationship.

“Where’s Lily?” she questioned, taking a quick check down the table. “And James?”

“Together, perhaps?” Sirius suggested. His dark eyebrows waggled at this thoughts. Leah rolled her eyes.

“Not likely,” she answered. “Is she still in bed?”

“Yes,” Ruby sighed. “Wouldn’t move. The poor thing is obviously confused.”

“James Potter tends to do that to people,” Erin explained. “Quite a calculating person if you ask me.”

“Calculating? Prongs?” Sirius strung together. “You’ve got it all wrong. My Prongsie is very simple and very direct. He hates to hide feelings away. Now, Lily dearest seems to have that very problem.”

He grabbed a stray piece of toast and began nibbling on it. Simultaneously, Leah and Sirius swapped food, helping themselves to each other’s breakfasts without so much as a word.

“Did you two elope last night?” Vita blurted out. Ruby nudged her in the ribs.

“What Vita meant to say was that the two of you are acting like an old married couple,” Ruby spoke, eyeing Vita dangerously. With Leah, one needed to reel her into things. She was a very spontaneous person but hated to be rushed unless it was under her own conditions.

Sirius and Leah just smiled, letting their eyes drift across the newspaper laid out on the table.

“Figures,” Erin mumbled. “When something interesting finally happens, she won’t talk about it. Leah Graham is officially the most complicated person I have ever met.”

“Erin, have you forgotten to include our other best friend in this category?” Ruby inquired, tying her dark locks into a knot at the back of her head. “Lily Evans happens to be the most complex being to stray within the walls of Hogwarts.”

“You’re right on the money with that assumption,” Vita agreed.

.X.

Do I really have to wake up? It could have all been a dream. Maybe I didn’t completely embarrass James by rejecting him once more. Maybe I actually accepted his proposal. No, wait, that would be the dream part. What is wrong with me?

Lily sat staring at her ceiling, arms loosely draped above the covers. Luckily, it was a Saturday morning and she wasn’t forced to attend classes. She could sit around and feel self-pity all day if she bloody well felt like it.

“Lily,” a voice rang up the stairs.

But of course, Miss Erin Parker wouldn’t have that. Am I not allowed to wallow anymore? Maybe she’ll go away if I pretend I’m not here.

“I can see you,” Erin pointed out.

Damn. No such luck.

“What do you want?” Lily groaned, rubbing the sleep from her almond shaped green eyes. Her red hair was bunched into a ponytail and was wild from turning in her sleep.

“You’re a mess,” Erin indicated. She walked over and plopped herself down upon Lily’s bed. This caused Lily to moan even more about being woken up.

“Stop being a bum,” Erin ordered. “I want to know what happened and I want to know now.”

Lily knew what had happened. That was what the problem was. She knew the exact issue at hand, how to resolve it, how to mend her troubled mind, but she still couldn’t let herself get too attached.

“James,” Lily muttered. “James bloody Potter.”

“Who else?” Erin replied sarcastically. “If you wanted to go into a little more depth, I would be willing to listen.”

“I turned him down,” she verified. “He poured out pieces of his soul and I selfishly turned him away.”

“Still,” Erin emphasized. “Tell me something new. What could possibly be so bad that you have to sit in bed all day? You’ve done this before, Lily. It doesn’t make it right, but I must say, you need to get over it.”

“How sympathetic you are,” Lily snapped, hiding her face beneath the sheets. “I want Leah.”

“I don’t know if she’s the one you want right now,” Erin reported. “Sirius Black has managed his way into little Leah’s heart.”

Lily managed to pull down the covers so her shocked eyes met Erin’s.

“Preposterous,” Erin stated. “I was shocked as well. Surprisingly, she looks very happy. If you’re looking for a single, depressed female, you’re out of luck. We’re all happy except for you.”

“What is my problem?” Lily sobbed, her eyes filling at a rapid pace with tears. “Somehow I always wind up crying in my bed over James Potter. How does he do it? I am the one hurting him, but somehow I manage to turn into a blubbering fool in the process.”

“It doesn’t take a genius to figure this one out,” Erin sighed. “You-like-James-Potter. End of story.”

Lily sprang out of her bed, grabbed a box of tissues, ran a brush through her wild hair, and stuck a toothbrush in her mouth.

“No, I honestly don’t,” Lily insisted, trying to prove to Erin that she was fine. In all actuality, she was far from it.

.X.

He wouldn’t even look at her during meals. She avoided his presence as much as possible during the day, during classes, walking in the halls. She had no choice but to spend the nights with him, patrolling. Those nights were shared in silence. The two of them had nothing left to say to one another.

On Tuesday morning, the Gryffindor table experienced something of a shock. Since the last surprising event (Sirius and Leah), the school was running out of things to talk about. That day, that dreadful, dark Tuesday, announced to the school that James Potter was officially over Lily Evans. He was ready to move on.

This fact was proven by Jenna Thompson, a seventh year Ravenclaw. Immediately after Jenna joined James for breakfast at the Gryffindor table, the whispers started.

Jenna Thompson had never been on Lily’s good side. She was a tall, thin girl who had always disliked Lily. Her honey blonde hair and dangerously beautiful hazel eyes had always been the center of the male population’s attention. Jenna, Lily, and Leah were known for their habits of serial dating. The difference between Lily and Leah between Jenna was that Jenna had no hidden insecurities. She wore her heart on her sleeve for everyone to see.

Jenna Thompson had always competed for the professors’ attention as well. Lily had always been a favorite due to her sharp knowledge and intellect. To some, Jenna’s extreme attempts at earning such a respect could be classified under jealousy.

So, as Jenna Thompson sat beside James Potter, Lily burned her eyes into the side of James’ head. Erin, Leah, Ruby, and Vita seemed to sense the same feelings as Lily. It wasn’t a secret that Lily and Jenna had never gotten along.

“That is low,” Erin growled under her breath. She stabbed her fork into her eggs, not taking her eyes off of James. He did his best to ignore the penetrating glances of everyone in the room. He seemed somewhat shy about it all. Jenna was throwing a dazzling smile, showing off every one of her sparkling white teeth. Attention was always welcome to her.

Remus and Sirius hung their heads low, not sure of how they should react to such a thing. It seemed fairly obvious to Lily that the two of them had not been informed of this recent relationship blossoming. Peter didn’t really notice anything as it always had taken him longer to catch onto things.

Lily tore her eyes away from the two and tried her best to just focus on the letter from her mum and sister that her owl had brought. It was hard to read the words as they were blurring before her eyes. She knew what that meant; more tears.

As quickly as they had come, the tears vanished with a swift wipe from the arm. Lily looked up and saw James watching her for the first time in days. He had seen those tears even if no one else had.

.X.

“What does he see in her anyway?” Lily whispered over her shoulder, successfully producing the charm being taught that day in class. Erin looked to her right and saw James and Jenna holding hands and staring affectionately into one another’s eyes.

“I don’t know,” Erin replied. “Blonde hair and long legs?”

“You have those too and I don’t see him climbing on top of you,” Lily hissed, squinting her eyes angrily.

“They’re not on top of each other,” Vita insisted. “She’s sort of to his left, rubbing her hand across his back.”

“You’re making things so much better,” Leah assured sarcastically. Sirius was silently working on his charm to her left. He hadn’t mentioned anything of James’ new relationship. It was apparent that a sort of fight had broken loose among the Marauders.

Remus was not his cheerful self either. He was sitting next to Peter, his eyes concentrated on his wand.

Lily blamed James for all of this. Deep down, she knew it was actually all her fault. If she hadn’t been such a baby, none of this would have happened. Everyone would have been happy. Well, maybe not Jenna Thompson, but Lily didn’t really care for that girl’s happiness at that point.

“You’re jealous,” Leah observed, hiding the words under her breath.

“I am not,” Lily protested. “I just think he could do better.”

“So by better you mean red hair and green eyes? Fiery attitude? Short and petite? How about very indecisive?” Erin tempted.

“Sounds like a match to me,” Ruby stated.

Lily was quiet for the rest of the class.

.X.

James found himself sitting on the large couch before the fireplace located in the Gryffindor Common Room. Jenna was sitting beside him, rubbing her fingers through his hair.

“Did you feel it?” Jenna questioned him. He turned to her, bewilderment seeping across his face.

“Feel what?” he asked her in return. She came up with such random, awkward conversations. There was no smooth flow to them. He felt so stiff and boring in her presence.

“The feeling that the two of us would end up together,” Jenna reminded him, rolling her hazel eyes in an obvious manner.

The words felt strangely familiar to him.

“What do you want, Potter?” she asked.

“Just to talk,” he answered coolly. “Also, to inform you of a feeling I’ve been getting.”

“What kind of feeling?” Lily questioned.

“That we’d end up together,” he said.

Those were the words he, himself, had spoken to Lily. They just didn’t seem as genuine escaping from the lips of Jenna Thompson.

She was staring expectantly at him, waiting for an answer. She wanted some recognition of this feeling she’d been having. James assumed this feeling may have to do with the amount of hair spray she applied to her hair. He was feeling a little dizzy from it.

The only reason he had hooked up with Jenna was because he was sick of waiting. He waited so long, worked so hard, and still managed to get turned down. He was lonely and needed something new. Yet, things weren’t working as he planned. Jenna wasn’t working as he’d hoped. Instead of helping him take his mind off of Lily, he found himself constantly comparing the two of them.

There was so much spark and energy when he talked with Lily. A boisterous feeling erupted within his heart. When he was with Jenna, not even a butterfly stirred through his stomach. She wasn’t someone he intended on being with forever.

Was that how Lily looked at her relationships? Was there someone she liked? Did she need someone to keep her mind off of that person for the time being?

“James?” Jenna asked, a bit more persistently.

“Potter,” a voice called from the Portrait Hole. Relief flooded through his body.

Ruby Wallace was decked in Quidditch gear, her broom in her hand and her long curls tied tightly into a ponytail.

“Forgetting about a certain practice we have today?” she asked him. “You are the captain, after all.”

“Sorry,” James muttered to Jenna. “Have to run.”

He kissed her cheek before dashing up the stairs to retrieve his broom.

.X.

“Ruby wants us to go watch,” Leah explained, dragging her friends out to the Quidditch pitch. The four of them were wrapped in scarves of scarlet and gold. Their cheeks were red from the cold and their noses were sniffling. Fall was almost over with winter fastly approaching. The severe winds soared through the trees and onto the grounds. The players on the Gryffindor team were finding it very hard to stay on their brooms.

After an hour of drills, the team was going to play a mock game. With Ruby as Keeper and James as Chaser, the Quaffle was seeing a lot of play.

A giggle could be heard when James successfully threw the Quaffle through a hoop. Lily turned to see Jenna waving to James. He turned to wave back when a Bludger smacked into him, knocking him off his broom.

Even though Jenna had been the one waving to him, Lily was the one he saw.

A/N: Please review. It was long too! I spent almost an hour working on it. I hope you’re all satisfied for the time being.

12. Fresh Tears

Chapter 12-Fresh Tears

“He’s lucky he only received a minor injury,” a bubbly, feminine voice spoke.

Another voice, much more severe and stubborn, started harshly whispering at the first voice. “Lucky, is he? Lucky? If you weren’t sitting there distracting him this would have never happened! As to his ‘minor injury’ as you refer to it, he bruised his ribs, broke his arm, and landed himself in a concussion! I wouldn’t call that minor!”

“Miss Evans, keep the volume to a minimum,” the school nurse’s voice lectured. “We do have sleeping patients who wish for peace and quiet.”

“Sorry, Poppy,” Lily apologized, sighing at the first voice.

James heard all these voices collide in his head, waking him from his light slumber. His head was aching and a sharp pain jabbed in his side. According to Lily, that was most likely the bruised ribs he had maintained. His eyes fluttered, squinting at the bright light the Hospital Wing cast upon him.

Eventually, he opened his eyes to see Jenna holding his hand and sending unappreciated stares over in Lily’s direction. Lily was pacing the room, more worried than he had ever seen her. Sirius was leaning in the door way, watching him from afar. He was the only one who had noticed that James had awoken, and he winked, shrugging at the two girls.

James didn’t remember a thing other than being hit by the bludger at Quidditch practice. Everything after that was a bit blurry. He heard a voice, a soothing voice, that had coaxed him through the walk from the pitch to the Hospital Wing. He looked from Jenna to Lily, trying to determine whose voice it had belonged to.

“Mr. Potter, you’re awake at last I see,” Madam Pomfrey announced, scuttling in with a syringe and a cup. She poked the syringe into his arm quickly and flicked her wand twice. The pain subsided in his ribs as she did so.

“Drink this,” she ordered, referring to the cup. It was a bitter taste, but he managed to swallow it down. His arm, which was momentarily in a sling, regained some strength and composure. It was still a bit sore, but he knew the bone had mended.

“You took quite a nasty spill out there,” the nurse said, disapproval in her voice. “You’ve always been a bit reckless though.”

“It wasn’t James’ fault,” Lily piped up. “This broad-,” she pointed to Jenna in disgust. “Felt the need to wave to him while he was on a broom.”

“Miss Thompson,” Madam Pomfrey snapped. “Why would you do such a thing?”

“So he knew I loved him,” she explained, smiling sweetly in James’ direction. She didn’t look very concerned, just a bit overwhelmed. Lily, on the other hand, looked an absolute mess.

“That worked out so well,” Lily hissed. Her green eyes were worn down with worry, but seemed oddly relieved that James had awoken. With one last huff, she bid them all goodbye and exited the wing.

“I have no idea what is wrong with her,” Jenna confirmed, misreading James’ expression. “She could use with some relaxation, I tell you. She was very stressed out when you fell, seeming to think it was her responsibility to take you to the Hospital Wing.”

“If she hadn’t done it, would you have?” Sirius questioned, watching Jenna with suspicious eyes.

“I-,” Jenna hesitated. She put on a defensive face after a split-second of thinking. “Of course I would have.”

“Sure,” Sirius brushed off. “So, are you feeling better mate?”

“I think so,” James answered, rubbing his forehead. “I feel a bit dizzy, but that’s nothing our Poppy can’t take care of.”

“That’s good,” Sirius said. “I’ll report back to the others. They’ve all been worried sick over you. Don’t scare us like that again, you hear me?”

The two of them laughed, reminiscing on the countless times Sirius had used that phrase in an impersonation of Mrs. Potter.

“I promise,” James assured his friend. Jenna seemed a bit left out of all of this and started messing with her fingernails.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Sirius said. “Feel better, Prongs.”

James nodded, watching Sirius leave the room. He looked over at Jenna and she smiled.

“I’m glad it’s the two of us now,” she said. “That Lily Evans was stifling me.”

“What did she do?” James asked, unsure of how to take this.

“She was, oh I don’t know how to describe it. She was just fawning over you,” Jenna said. She must have seen James’ eyes grow big in surprise because she continued on. “It was as if she was your girlfriend and I was some girl sitting on the side lines.”

“Well, you’re not exactly my girlfriend either,” James reminded her. “We had one date.”

Her hazel eyes grew round and wide, looking into James’. She seemed somewhat offended.

“But, we had a good time. I thought that we were meant to be together,” Jenna divulged. “Don’t you feel that way too?”

James had to forget about Lily. Jenna was here, she liked him. He could be with someone who actually wanted him for who he was. Lily was so far in denial it was impossible to tell when she would come to realization. She had fawned over him though. It had indeed been her voice that had stayed with him on the grounds. It was her face he had seen before falling hundreds of feet in the air.

“Yes,” he lied. “I do feel that way.”

She sat back in her chair, dropping his hand and looking to the ground. There was an awkward silence between the two of them. James wasn’t sure what else to say. Did she expect him to elaborate? He had told her what she had wanted to hear. Wasn’t that enough?

“We should both stop kidding ourselves,” she remarked. “Both you and I know you don’t feel that way.”

“How could I?” James demanded. “I barely know you! We had one date. One date! That isn’t enough to determine whether I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“I like you, James,” she insisted. “I really do. You’re a great guy.”

“I like you, too,” he assured her. “You’re nice and you’re a gorgeous girl. What wouldn’t I like?”

“I don’t know,” she sniffed, her eyes running with slow, delicate tears. She brushed a stand of blonde hair behind her ear. “You’re always so distracted.”

“I’m not,” he told her. “No, don’t think that.”

“Stop lying,” she yelled. “I know why you’re distracted. You love her. I know you do. I don’t know why you’re wasting your time with me. We both know she’s the one you want.”

“I don’t know who you’re talking about,” James debated. Madam Pomfrey seemed to know that she shouldn’t come to meddle just now. The two of them, Jenna and James, had some sorting out to do.

“Lily!” Jenna wept, her eyes now red and glossy. James felt bad for making her feel so down. He was doing the best he could not to. In all truth, she was right. He was distracted, he was wasting his time, he was avoiding her.

“You know that’s not true,” he weakly objected. There was no hiding the lies in his voice now.

“I never knew you to be a liar,” she hissed. “Lily is so beautiful and so smart. I don’t know how it took me so long. The way you looked at her when you woke up and then the way you looked at me. It was easy to see who you really wished was at your bedside.”

“I’m glad you were here-,” he started to say. She put a finger to his lips, standing and picking up her purse.

“The sad thing is,” she exclaimed, ready to leave the room. “Is that she feels the same way.”

With those words, she strode out of the room, leaving a dizzy James Potter in his bed. The odd thing was, the dizziness was not caused from his fall.

.X.

“I am such an idiot,” Lily whispered, lying in her bed once more.

Erin and Ruby were sitting on the end, staring at the ceiling as Lily wallowed once again. The two of them were the only ones willing to put up with her unpredictable mood swings. She was either angry or depressed, both causing her to fall to extremes.

“I’ll second that,” Erin agreed, her voice calm and patient.

“It’s your own fault, Lily. He wouldn’t be with Jenna Thompson if you hadn’t been so insecure,” Ruby relayed. She was shaking her head of vast black curls and sighing at Lily’s predictable behavior.

“Nothing ever changes, does it?” Erin questioned. “Lily, you’ll always be in this predicament if you don’t step up and forget about the future. Focus on the now. I know you don’t want to get hurt, but this is enough.”

“He let her down,” Lily cried. “She was so in love with him and he let her down! He wasn’t supposed to die. He left us, all of us, and it hasn’t been the same since.”

Erin and Ruby knew without mention of whom she was speaking of. Lily’s father had died when she was thirteen and had left Lily and her family with all sorts of emotional issues. Lily always tried to believe she was ok now, but in all actuality, she wasn’t.

Every so often she broke down. Every time her friends were there for her, they were supportive. Behind Lily’s infamous serial dating lied an issue that was always neglected.

“How could he do that to us? I didn’t want him to die,” she screamed, her eyes flooding with tears and her voice cracking. “I could never do what she did. She had two kids and no husband. That summer she laid in bed for five entire weeks. I don’t ever want to fall in love. Never.”

“It’s a bit late for that, don’t you think?” Ruby asked, her voice soft and comforting. She pulled Lily off of her pillow and wrapped her into a hug. Erin looked over, catching Lily’s eye, tears in her own.

“It was no one’s fault he died,” Erin noted. “It was not his fault he died. I am sure he didn’t plan on it. No one plans on it, Lily. No one wants to die. The woman who hit him apologized over and over. Her son was in the back seat about to eat an earring he found on the floor of the car. I heard her tell you this, Lily. You heard this, I heard this. It wasn’t her fault, it was no one’s fault. It was fate.”

“Fate?” Lily sobbed. “Fate? You mean someone planned on me becoming fatherless? It was all in the books? Why? Why would something like this become my fate?”

“I can’t explain it,” Erin voiced. “No one can. All I know is that everything happens for a reason. Maybe your father was supposed to die so that you would have this fear of commitment.”

“Why would that be important?” Lily asked.

“Because,” Erin explained. “That way you would date a lot of guys who wouldn’t be the ones. When you finally found the one, that fear would be discovered and you would have to try and conquer it. What do you think has been upsetting you so much? It’s not so much James, it’s the fact that you want to get over this. You want to be able to love him so bad that it hurts. Right now, you’re incapable of doing so because of attachments to your parents’ marriage. Don’t you see, Lily? Just because your father died doesn’t mean he didn’t love your mother. He did love her. The reason she was upset was because she loved him back and he was gone. He didn’t hurt her intentionally. If he was alive today he would still love her. You need to realize that.”

Lily hiccupped, feeling salty tears enter her mouth. Her hair was plastered to her face and her eyes were red and puffy. She had spent more time crying than not this year. Erin was right. She was fighting it.

“I don’t know what to do,” Lily cried. Ruby rubbed her back and nodded sympathetically.

“I wish I could tell you,” Ruby said. “I’m not as wise as our dear Erin though.”

Erin blushed and smile. “What do you think you should do?”

“I should be with James,” Lily reasoned with herself. “I should give him a chance. I should get over this fear of commitment. I should take a risk. There are so many things I should do. I just don’t know how to do them.”

“That’s the hard part,” Erin confessed. “No one can tell you what to do and how to do it. That’s for you to decide.”

“I used to think I was strong,” Lily admitted. “I’ve never felt so weak in my life. I miss him.”

“You still have your memories,” Ruby reminded her. “You still have all the good times you spent with your dad. If he were alive, you know he’d want you to be happy.”

“Is James Potter what makes me happy?” Lily questioned, somewhat shocked by this odd feeling she’d been getting. She was so used to fighting with Potter that she wasn’t quite prone to accepting this new change she had experienced. When she had seen him fall from that broom, she had known. A realization had hit her so fast and so hard that she had hidden it away as fast as possible.

For some reason she had seen fit to be there for him. Jenna was panicked and had no idea what to do. Lily had found the urge to relax him, hold his hand, comfort him while he was on his way to the hospital. He had muttered her name several times, cueing her in that he wasn’t completely over her.

“James Potter makes us all happy,” Erin said. “He is a nice person. He is a good friend. He has his bad moments, but then again, we all do. I’ve thought that from day one he was in love with you. I’ve just awaited the day when you’d feel the same.”

“Jenna Thompson complicates this ever-expanding issue,” Lily breathed, brushing a hand through her hair and rubbing the tears from her eyes.

“Trust me,” a voice from the door spoke. “He loves you.”

Jenna Thompson was standing in the doorway, a slight smile and a batch of tears accompanying her.

A/N: So? How'd you like it? I spent some quality time writing that (about an hour and a half..which is long for me). Please review.

13. All For You

Chapter 13- All For You

“That is the most bizarre story I’ve ever heard,” Leah Graham declared, scratching her head. “Those two are the most complicated pair of human beings I’ve ever met.”

“I know,” Sirius agreed. “I’ve been leaning for them to get together so all this nonsense will have an end!”

“Nonsense?” Vita questioned. “You think? I think there are some deep issues at hand.”

“I can sum it all up in two words,” Sirius insisted. “Clashing personalities. There are some people who aren’t meant to be together. These two seem to apply to that category.”

“You’re wrong,” Remus spoke up quietly. “Would you describe Prongs as easily misled?”

“No,” Sirius said. “The reason he tried out for Chaser opposed to Seeker has always been because of his gut feeling.”

“Precisely,” Remus explained. “He’s went on instinct. Why should this be any different?”

“It’s taking so bloody long, though,” Sirius complained. “Do you ever want to just shove them together and tell them to get a move on those kids?”

“Every day,” Erin sighed. “Lily needs a balance in her life. Her vulnerability is at it’s peak and before long, she’s going to crack.”

“She’s that bad?” Remus questioned, his face flooded with concern.

“Do you see her at this table?” Ruby countered. “If she were ok she’d be beside me reading the paper and sipping on a glass of orange juice. Right now, she’s lying in bed and feeling sorry for herself. Lily just doesn’t do those things. She’s strong, active, reliable. She hasn’t made it to her past two nights of patrols. James is in no condition to go on patrol, what with his head condition and all. She would normally step it up a notch and patrol on her own.”

Everyone at the table lowered their heads in confusion and disappointment. Vita started glancing nervously over at the Ravenclaw table. Her gray eyes seemed to be putting pieces together.

“How did Jenna Thompson get into the Common Room in the first place?” she questioned, looking over at Ruby and Erin. The two of them looked bewildered. Sirius, on the other hand, stared innocently down at his plate and whistled off into the distance. Leah slapped his head.

“What did you do?” she asked. He looked up at her and smiled sheepishly.

“Oh, you know, isortofletherin,” he mumbled.

“Didn’t quite catch that,” Peter stated obviously.

“I let her in,” Sirius repeated, focusing intently on his shoes.

“Why would you let a Ravenclaw into the Gryffindor Common Room?” Leah asked, very slowly so he would appreciate the emphasis she was showing on her words.

“I know you find my blatant disregard for the rules of Hogwarts sexy,” he explained all-knowing. “But that does not mean you should act as if I’m at fault in front of all these people. Jenna just wanted to see Lily, so I, being a gentlemen and attractive rebel, let her in.”

Mostly everyone looked ready to smack Sirius on the face, although Erin Parker looked as if she might kiss him.

“Sirius,” she squealed. “You might have actually done the right thing!”

“Everyone,” he whispered. “I did not do anything to her. She is saying this upon her own free will. Let’s take note.”

“Lily knows James still likes her,” Erin reminded them. “If she knows this, she may actually give him a chance.”

“This is Lily we’re talking about,” Ruby pointed out. “There is no way anyone could predict one measly thing regarding the whereabouts of that girl. She is a mystery to all.”

“Preach on, sister,” Sirius muttered, nodding his head.

.X.

Lily was lying in her bed for what felt like the millionth time that year. Not once had she spent so much time in her dorm through the course of six years at Hogwarts. That had to mean something.

“Knock, knock,” voice from the doorway said. That voice, that awfully familiar voice.

Lily looked up from her pillow to see a shy Jenna Thompson awaiting entrance.

“How’d you get up here for the second time in two days?” Lily questioned, slightly embarrassed at her appearance. Jenna was composed, her hair tied into a classy knot at the back of her head and her robes lint free. Lily tried to straighten her wildly messy hair and adjusted her pajamas so they weren’t hanging off her shoulders. She felt completely inadequate compared to this girl.

Jenna held out a plate of toast as a sort of peace offering and sat on the end of Lily’s bed as Lily resumed to sit in her usual spot.

“Sirius gave me the password last night and I was correct in assuming that the password didn’t change on a day to day basis,” she explained. She smiled, something that was oddly out of place to Lily. The two of them had always competed, had always been on opposite teams, and now they were in the same boat. Both of them were struggling to be loved.

“Clever,” Lily muttered distantly, not sure of how to interpret this situation. Jenna wanted to talk to her and Lily was almost positive it was concerning James Potter.

“Lily Evans,” Jenna started off, taking a breath. “You have no idea how hard this is for me. You’re the most intimidating person I’ve ever met.”

A feeble smile formed on Jenna’s lips.

“Me? Intimidating? I’ve always felt that way about you. You would always try and beat me out for any opportunity available,” Lily said, confused much more.

“Yes, you’re intimidating. The reason I’ve had to be so competitive is because you appear to be so accomplished. I just wanted to catch up. I didn’t want to be left behind in the dust. Let me tell you, it has not been easy. I’ve always wanted to be like you. You’re beautiful, funny, nice, proud, independent, and smart. You’ve always stood up for what you believed in. I’ve always thought you were a very admirable person. So, when James Potter asked me out for a date, I was rather shocked. I’ve always thought he was interested in you. Actually, I know he was always interested in you. I was just happy to have something you didn’t. James is such a nice guy. He’s handsome, talented, and funny. A very desirable person. It was so odd to enter his life, get a glimpse of who he really was. I discovered that you were a part of all of that.”

She took a breath and seemed to try and avoid the tears forming in her hazel eyes. Lily handed her the box of tissues that seemed to be a prime resource to her bedside lately.

“I think I was so wrapped up in having something you didn’t that I didn’t notice that not only one of you was suffering, but two,” she said. “I’d noticed how sad you looked at meals. I just thought you were jealous. I was wrong. I saw that same sadness in James’ eyes. I saw how he looks at you. I want someone to look at me that way. I knew I’d never get that look from James Potter, it was already reserved for you.”

It was new to hear it from an outsider’s perspective. Lily had always focused on James’ flaws. For the longest time she had made him out to seem incredibly horrible. All this time, he had just been trying to find himself. Lily had been doing the same thing, just hadn’t been aware of it. No one had pointed out her flaws to her. They were there, evident for anyone who wished to acknowledge them, but no one did. Lily had pointed out every single one of them for James to hear. She supposed it had to be awfully hard to take that from someone you liked.

All this time, Lily hadn’t been as honorable as she had thought she was. She had been a bully, she had been a toe rag. James was the Snape to her Potter. All this time, she hadn’t seen it.

Lily looked up at Jenna, somewhat stunned at this newest revelation. Lily felt shame, shame that she hadn’t seen this, shame at how she’d treated Potter, shame at how she’d been acting lately. She was no better than he had been. Been. He was different now. He was a bit more respectable. He wasn’t constantly hitting on her. Matters had turned a bit more serious, reaching a new level and finding new depth.

James bloody Potter.

“Jenna,” Lily started. “You coming here has proved to be very informative.”

“How so?” Jenna asked. “You’re not with Potter. I’m not with Potter. You’re still in bed. I’m no better off. How is this possibly informative?”

Lily stood up, stretched her arms a bit and smiled.

“I’m not in bed anymore,” she pointed out. “Progress.”

.X.

As Lily watched Jenna leave through the Portrait Hole, the empty common room comforted her.

I can miss class just this once..

She curled up in an armchair before the blazing fire. The stillness, the peace, the quiet, it was all more soothing than anything had been in days. If only life were always like that.

Her eyes began to droop slowly, more slowly, even slower, until they finally shut.

Lily lay there for what felt like minutes before she heard someone flop down on the couch beside her. She refused to open an eyes, hoping they wouldn’t mind her sleeping in the chair. Apparently, whoever it was, didn’t care. They appeared to have fallen asleep as well from what Lily could tell.

The sound of something crashing onto the floor is what Lily awoke to. She turned her head in direction to the noise to see a helpless house elf, slightly shaken at the sight of her, hastily picking up a broom they had dropped.

“Sorry miss,” the house elf apologized. “Did not see you there.”

Before Lily could say anything, the elf scurried out of the Common Room, most likely to clean somewhere else.

The sun was shining through the window and Lily dearly wished to go back to sleep. She looked over at the couch and was somewhat surprised at who was laying there.

His unruly black hair was visible and his large form was stirring on the couch. He most likely heard the noise as well.

His glasses were resting on the table next to him and Lily smiled. It was weird to find comfort in such a situation. Had it been anyone else she would have felt it extremely awkward.

His head was lifted from the pillow and he reached for his glasses. She quietly moved and placed them in his hand. He looked up at her and grinned, the infamous heart-melting grin he had perfected over the years.

“Hey,” he said quietly, his voice scratchy from just being awoken.

“Hey,” she whispered. “What are you doing out of the Hospital Wing?”

“Poppy got sick of my attempts to leave and finally dismissed me,” he said. “I hate being confined. I like to be able to go where I want, when I want. With a nurse over me, I can’t do that.”

She nodded, knowing how much she hated the Hospital Wing as well.

“I think you should know something,” she said, her hand shaking in the process. Why was she so nervous? How was James Potter managing to make her nervous?

“Hmm?” he asked, putting his glasses on his face. He slowly sat up and looked over at her.

“I’ve been a complete mess since you fell off that broom,” she confessed.

He didn’t look as shocked as she thought he would be.

“I know you were,” he quietly said. “I’ve been asking about you. Leah and Sirius stop by all the time.”

Silence passed between them.

“We need to solve this one way or another,” James finally said, breaking the air between them. “There is so much tension in this room it’s flustering.”

“Flustering?” Lily asked, laughing.

“Yes, flustering,” he said. “I’ll ask you one good question and I want you to answer it honestly.”

“Ok,” Lily hesitated. What did he need to know so badly?

“Why did you kiss me?” he asked. She blushed. Of course that had been the question.

Lily instinctively thought to say something resembling a lie. Then she thought back to Jenna’s words. Trust me, he loves you.

What did she have to lose?

Her heart, her control, her predictable pattern.

No one can tell you what to do and how to do it. That’s for you to decide.

Erin had said these words to her that same night. Lily took a deep breath, knowing he was waiting.

“I kissed you because-” she started. He nodded, hoping she would go on. “I kissed you because I like you.”

His heart soared. She had finally admitted to the one thing he had wished for.

“You know what?” he teased.

“What?” she asked, her face burning a shade of scarlet.

“I like you too,” he said. He leaned in, his nose almost touching hers, and kissed her.

A/N: Please review.

14. Blindingly Happy

Chapter 14-Blindingly Happy

“Anyone else think it’s cold in here?” Leah asked, opening her eyes wide in disbelief at the latest unbelievable sight.

“No,” Sirius said, looking at Leah like she was insane. “Why?”

“Hell has just frozen over,” Leah declared, turning Sirius’ head so he could get a good glimpse of Lily and James entering the Great Hall together.

“Way to go, Prongs,” Sirius cheered. Lily blushed at Sirius’ words and she and James sat down beside one another at the table.

“Sit down, Padfoot,” Remus said, smiling. All the Marauders seemed happy for some unapparent reason. Even Peter was grinning like a fool.

Erin Parker strolled in with Ruby Wallace, the two of them arguing over something petty.

“Why would someone mow their lawn?” Erin questioned Ruby. “You have got to be out of your blazing mind.”

“Ask Lily,” Ruby dared her. “Muggles mow their lawns so the grass doesn’t get too long.”

“What is that contraption called?” Erin asked. “Would it be some ridiculous name like a lawnmower?”

“Actually,” Ruby insisted. “It is. Go on, ask her.”

“I will,” Erin shouted. The moment she turned to talk to Lily and met the back of James’ head she stepped back. “In the name of holy hippogriffs!”

“What kind of asinine joke is this? If someone is messing with our minds, let me tell you, they’re very fragile,” Ruby called, looking at Sirius with squinted eyes.

“Very fragile,” she repeated in a dangerous voice.

“Hey,” Sirius said, raising his hands. “For once, it was not me. I don’t see why everyone is making a big deal out of this in the first place.”

Everyone, excluding James and Lily, stared at Sirius.

“Well,” he offered. “I guess I can see why. The two of them have been at each other’s throats since the beginning of Hogwarts history. Anyone want to put three galleons on how long it lasts?”

“Sirius,” Vita lectured. “Putting money on things like these is very insensitive and it’s not something one would-”

“I’ve got three galleons,” Leah told him, fishing in her pocket to pick out three golden coins. “I say one month.”

“That’s a bit risky, don’t you agree, Moony?” Sirius turned to his friend for consent. “I’m thinking four days.”

“Four days?” Vita asked perplexedly. “Forty days is Lily’s average relationship duration.”

“I don’t want any bids unless you have the money to back it up,” Sirius stubbornly insisted.

“Fine,” Vita grumbled. “I say forty-one days.”

“Moony?” Sirius tempted.

“Two weeks,” Remus said, looking up from his book and handing three galleons over to Sirius.

“No one is going to want to place money on something like this,” Vita assured Sirius.

“I beg to differ,” he proclaimed. Without so much as another word, he got up and started speaking in hushed whispers to the rest of the Gryffindor table.

“We’re dooming their relationship,” Ruby announced. “They finally got together and now we’re betting on when it will end. We’re great friends.”

“I like to think so,” Leah mused. “Erin, will you be my partner in Potions today?”

“But of course, Leah,” Erin replied. “We are a great team.”

“Good lord,” Ruby sighed. “We don’t need any explosions near Lily and James today. We do want their relationship to last at least one day.”

“Who’s to say there will be an explosion?” Erin inquired.

“With the two of you as partners,” Vita commented. “I’ve seen how distracted both of you are.”

“No, no, I don’t think so,” Leah said, off in the distance. “Wonder how long it takes the house elves to make all this food?”

“I’ve always wondered that,” Erin said. “How early do they have to get up? If it’s before six, I pity them. We should probably ask Dumbledore. He would know, right?”

“Yes,” Leah absently agreed. “He would know.”

“See what I mean?” Vita muttered to Ruby.

While Sirius was off biting people’s heads off about placing bets, Remus and Peter were having an interesting discussion.

“How many times has Lily slapped James?” Peter asked.

“Zero,” Remus reported. “How many times has he touched her hand and/or face?”

“Five, but who’s counting?” Peter off-handedly mentioned.

“This is completely and indescribably bizarre,” Remus declared in a hushed whisper.

“She kissed his cheek,” Peter gasped. “Sweet Merlin, this is unexpected on so many levels.”

“Prongs never gives up, though,” Remus mused. “He’s persistent. It was only a matter of time before they got together.”

“Do you think Lily got sick of him pestering her?” Peter asked, turning to face his friend.

Remus studied the look on Lily’s face. She wasn’t sad, she wasn’t resentful. No sign of regret or anger shone through. Her eyes looked different, somehow complete.

“No,” he answered solemnly. “I think she finally realized.”

.X.

Lily loved how James was taking things slow, appreciating the fact that Lily was new to the whole ‘being nice to James Potter’ thing. Over the next two weeks, little surprises were in store for her. One day she awoke to a small pair of lilies beside her head, resting innocently on her pillow. Even though winter was approaching, they had somehow managed to look perfect. She didn’t even need to question where they were from.

The way he walked with her down the halls sent a chill up her spine. His hand would rest casually around her shoulders, sometimes squeezing the back of her neck affectionately. This caused her arms to break out in goose bumps. She never realized how new and exciting a relationship could be.

In all her past relationships, she had followed her ordinary procedure. First month was the happy, can’t-live-without-you moments, followed by the overprotective ordinary meetings. Yet, with James, things were never awkward. He seemed to know her boundaries, what to ask and what not to ask. She didn’t like speaking of her family and he sensed this.

She loved the way his face lit up at the mention of Quidditch. It was cute to see how passionate he could be about that game. Even though she had always supported her house, Quidditch had never really sparked her interest. Hearing about it from James launched it into an entire different perspective.

She loved how he made her feel special, as if no one else was in the room. He paid the utmost attention to her when she was talking. No guy had ever been so kind to her. James Potter was an amazement in himself. She hoped that this change of dating cycle would keep up; she didn’t know if she could handle breaking his heart. For the moment, she was confident and not as scared. She wanted to feel that way forever.

Her friends were still not accustomed to any public displays of affection that the two of them shared, whether it be a simple hug or a kiss goodnight. Lily could have sworn she saw Erin flinch when James had kissed her temple. It was rather odd, but Lily thought it no stranger than Sirius and Leah’s relationship. Although, there was argument there. Sirius and Leah had never been sworn enemies. Leah did hold troubles from her past, but she refused to let them interfere in her love life.

So, as James and her started making the potion assigned to the class, she couldn’t help but admire him. He was hers, her boyfriend, and he actually knew who she was. He liked the person he knew, unlike most of the guys at Hogwarts. She tried to avert her eyes when he looked over at her, but she just smiled instead and resumed cutting up her Belladonna. She watched as James stirred his potion, reading the procedure from the board once more. Lily had never been great at Potions, but she was glad she was paired with someone who actually took their time. It was strange to see a new side to James. If he had been paired with Sirius, the two of them would have been throwing Filibuster’s fireworks inside the Slytherins cauldrons.

She eyed Erin and Leah and saw violent bubbles burst from their potion. As usual, the two girls were too distracted to notice. They were occupying their time with comparing scuff marks on their shoes. Ruby was rolling her eyes behind them, filling a sample flask of her potion to be graded.

Lily smiled once again to herself. She was actually happy with her life, somehow more whole. Something new had happened, something good. That something was James Potter. He was a part of her life, a new part, a good part. He was the cause for such smiles. She loved how the rest of the world acted as well. There was rarely any discord between the group of friends; everyone seemed genuinely happy.

She enjoyed seeing Ruby and Remus blush as they stole glances at one another. She loved the way Vita always made sure everyone was ok before proceeding with anything. She loved the way Erin played with her hair during lessons, even when she was scolded by teachers for doing so. She loved the way Sirius and Leah snuggled up against one another before the fire at night on the Gryffindor couch. She loved how Peter laughed and laughed when Remus beat him at chess. She especially enjoyed the way James smiled in the idle of despair. He was so optimistic, he rarely lost hope anymore. Most of all, she loved the way she appeared when looking in the mirror. She was no longer confused and lonely. She was happy and glowing. She was loved.

“What are you smiling about?” James asked, her squeezing her hand before mixing in the Belladonna.

“Everything,” she truthfully answered. “Everything.”

A/N: Please review.

15. Not In The Plans

Chapter 15-Not In The Plans

Winter had arrived and so had the luxury of Christmas recess. The seventh years were particularly grateful for the break from school as they had been assigned several tedious assignments that were due back at the return of classes.

Lily had always stayed at Hogwarts for Christmas, something she had grown accustomed to over the years. The castle was beautiful at that time of the year. Snow was caked over the ground, high and cold, shining with pure white beauty. Lily loved winter. Everyone seemed so happy, so high and mighty, and it was impossible to feel down.

A few days before school was officially out of session, James plopped down beside Lily and kissed her cheek. She had been reading a book about Godric Gryffindor, her house founder, when he had sat down next to her at the house table. She smiled and put down her book.

“So, what’re your plans for Christmas?” he asked her, rubbing her shoulders.

“Not much, really,” she confessed. “I was planning on staying here at the castle.”

“You don’t go home?” he questioned. “Doesn’t your family want to see you?”

“I suppose my mum does,” Lily sighed. “My sister is another story. She’s getting married this summer and if I were to stay, I would be swamped into illicit wedding plans. Trust me, I want anything but that.”

“Do you like the bloke she’s getting married to?” James inquired, seeing Lily’s saddened face.

“Not really,” she admitted. “Vernon Dursley is the prime definition of Muggle. He’s perfect for Petunia though. She hates anything out of the ordinary. I am just taking a stab at this, but I think that includes me.”

“What if you had some company along with you to endure the ride?” he proposed. She looked over at him to see if he was joking. He wasn’t.

“Are you serious?” she wondered. “You want to meet my family?”

“Why not?” he asked. “I like you, we’re dating now. I’d love to meet your family. Plus, I’m highly interested in the Muggle world.”

He must have seen her contemplation because he explained a bit more.

“The thing is,” he went on. “My parents are off on a trip to Italy right now, some sort of Auror work. I really want you to meet them, but they don’t return until the second week of break.”

He wanted her to meet his parents? That was the right thing to do in a relationship. He was doing the right thing, Lily felt differently. She tried to hide her insecurity of the whole matter and simply nodded.

“I’ll write to mum tonight,” she whispered, kissing him on the lips before dashing out of the Great Hall.

If James had thought things were getting any easier now that they dated, he was starting to rethink that thought.

.X.

“What’s the matter with you?” Erin demanded, seeing her friend face down on her bed. Erin was throwing things into her trunk, messily of course, and packing for the train home.

“My mum said it was alright,” Lily groaned. “She even wrote that she was excited. Excited? Honestly, it’s as if I’ve never brought a guy home.”

“You haven’t,” Leah piped in, looking up from her magazine.

“But didn’t I bring Ethan home last summer?” Lily inquired.

“No,” Ruby answered for the rest of them. She was sitting on Erin’s trunk and trying to close it for her friend. “You dumped him before he met your mum. Remember?”

“You said the two of you were going to be friends,” Vita reminded. “That worked out so well.”

“Ethan?” Leah recalled. “Wasn’t he the Ravenclaw prefect who stopped me and Sirius in the halls last week? He was a git. You should have dumped him.”

Ruby rolled her eyes at her friend and continued trying to close the trunk.

“You-need-to-learn-to-pack-right,” she announced through gritted teeth. Erin tapped Ruby, indicating that her friend needed to step aside. With one big heave onto the trunk, she closed it successfully.

“How can someone so tiny have so much willpower?” Vita questioned, seeing Erin’s display of strength.

“Lily,” Erin said, trying to ignore Vita’s comment. “What is so wrong with acquainting your mum with your boyfriend?”

“Nothing, I guess,” Lily muttered. “But, you forgot about me meeting his parents. What if they don’t like me?”

“They will,” Leah and Erin insisted together.

“What if they don’t?” Lily whined.

“Pull yourself together woman,” Vita said, taking Leah’s magazine and hitting Lily’s head with it.

“Thanks,” Lily said, gaining her calm.

“I know Mr. and Mrs. Potter, they’re nice people,” Erin said, searching under her bed for more clothes. “On the bright side, I live right next door and you can come seek refuge whenever you need to.”

“We’ve only been dating a month,” Lily pointed out. “That’s not very long!”

“He likes you,” Vita declared. “A lot. We’re all so happy for you. You deserve someone like James Potter. It may have scared us at first, but now we’re used to it. So don’t mess it up!”

The group of girls laughed along with their friend, knowing all to well that they all felt the same. James was the nicest guy Lily had ever dated. He was someone who had been interested in her the entire time.

“Do you know how many people have lost bets because the two of you have stayed together for a month?” Leah proposed. Lily shrugged. “According to Sirius, twenty-nine people.”

“Twenty-nine people?” Lily cried. “That is absurd.”

“Yes,” Erin sighed. “It is. Sirius and Remus were one of those people.”

“I need to go out for a walk,” Lily proposed. She sat up and walked straight out of the dorm.

“She’s going to go and do something stupid,” Leah predicted. “We should go follow her.”

“Let her have her privacy,” Ruby snapped.

“I’m sorry,” Vita said. “But she’s right. We all know Lily’s more happy than she’s ever been with James. We can’t let her do something wrong.”

Leah and Vita rushed out of the dorm, walking down the steps.

“They don’t trust her,” Ruby whispered. “She’s their own friend and they don’t trust her.”

“You do?” Erin asked.

“Yes,” Ruby muttered.

“That’s a lie,” Erin called. “None of us trust her to decide what’s best for her. She’s proven us wrong so many times. It’s just expected now.”

“We’re horrible friends,” Ruby softly spoke, staring at the empty doorway.

“No,” Erin corrected. “We’re far too protective. She’s had so much hurt in her life that we can’t stand for her to hurt herself anymore.”

“I think you’re right,” Ruby agreed, wiping a small tear from her shockingly blue eyes.

.X.

As Lily walked through the halls, her thoughts jumbled into one big blur. Was she pathetic for not being secure in a relationship? Hadn’t she thrown her rules out the window more times than she could count for James? She liked him, liked him more than any other boy she had ever met.

She thought of the sweet way James said goodnight to her every single time she headed up for bed. She thought of the way he carefully kissed her, the way he hugged her so tight she felt safe. She thought of the way his hazel eyes looked into hers when they spoke to one another. She thought of the way he smiled so brightly when the two of them were together.

She felt her own lips form into a smile. James had that effect on her a lot lately. She was so caught up in her own thoughts that she barely noticed that she had run into someone. Her eyes snapped back to attention and she realized she was on the ground. She looked over to see Ethan Sullivan, the very same Ethan she had dumped last year, looking over at her. A pretty girl was standing up, looking down at the two of them.

“Ethan,” Lily said politely. “Marcel.”

The pretty Ravenclaw prefect nodded at Lily. The two of them must have been out on patrol.

“Sorry about bumping into you,” she apologized. “I was spacing out, I think.”

“Understandable,” Ethan said. “Potter does that to people.”

Lily looked sharply up at Ethan, his eyes were enjoying the awkwardness passing between the two of them. He was smiling innocently enough, although Lily could sense jealousy.

“That’s right,” Lily responded coldly. “Me and James are together. What’s it to you?”

“Nothing,” Ethan shrugged off. “Only the fact is that you dump me, a prefect, to go out with James Potter?”

“James is Head Boy, in case you’ve forgotten,” Lily reminded him, her voice snapping.

“Must have been those late night patrols that brought the two of you together. Sweet, really,” Ethan insisted. Lily didn’t like the sound of his voice. Marcel was standing uncomfortably on the other side of the hall now, staring at her shoes.

“What is your problem?” Lily demanded. “You’re being a jerk.”

“A jerk?” Ethan asked. “I’m the jerk? Lily, you tell me you want a break from relationships and now you’re with Potter. The infamous James Potter who has been chasing after you since fourth year.”

“We broke up last year, Ethan,” Lily reminded him. “Am I not allowed to move on?”

“Did you run out of guys, Lily?” he asked her. “Did you run out of victims? Was James Potter the only one willing to go out with you? When are you going to break the news to him? It has been a month already.”

“Your point?” Lily questioned.

“My point being that the guy only has two more months,” Ethan said. Lily felt tears burn her eyes. “Yet, he might be different. I hear you’re brining him home to meet your mum. You’ve never brought someone home to your mum. Are you not scared anymore?”

Lily couldn’t look at him. Ethan was just being bitter, but Lily couldn’t help but take in his words. He was right, she was scared.

“You don’t really want to take him home, do you? He isn’t different, is he? You’re just leading him on, just like every other guy at Hogwarts. People don’t change, Lily. He didn’t change, you didn’t change. You’re still James Potter and Lily Evans, two of the least compatible people to come across one another at Hogwarts,” he informed her, his eyes dangerous now. He seemed to be staring straight at her.

“You know I’m right, Lily,” he told her. “You’re still scared. Nothing’s different.”

A cough came from the other end of the hallway and Lily saw James. He looked at Ethan suspiciously and helped Lily up.

“What’s going on here?” he asked, looking over at a frightened Marcel.

“Nothing,” Ethan insisted. “Just ran into Lily here and we’ve been catching up.”

“Is that true, Lily?” James asked softly. She was shaking, not saying a word.

“Come on,” James said, putting his arm around Lily and steering her away from Ethan.

Once they reached the Portrait Hole, Lily stopped. She couldn’t go any further, she couldn’t lead him on.

“What did that jerk say to you?” James asked, seeing her pale face and her teary eyes.

“James, I don’t know if things are going to work out,” Lily said. “I don’t know if I can bring you home for Christmas.”

“Is this about that guy back there? Did he talk to you about us?” James questioned.

Lily didn’t answer.

“Lily, he’s jealous. He is just jealous. Don’t listen to him. What we have is real,” James insisted.

“Is it?” Lily asked, feeling her warm tears make their way down her face.

James stood there for a moment, looking into his girlfriend’s eyes. She was staring down at the floor. She couldn’t bare to see him hurt.

“You never wanted to take me home for Christmas, did you?” he asked her, finally putting pieces together. “You never wanted to take a chance. You were just lonely and I was there. I should have known it was too good to last. You know what, Lily Evans? I am not going to hear that speech from you. I am not going to be like everyone else. No one’s ever hurt you, have they? You haven’t let them. Guess what? Now we’ll never know what could have become of us. I’m not going to sit around and be lead on. It was all or nothing with me. I guess you just didn’t want it.”

With that, he opened the Portrait Hole and disappeared inside. Lily felt tears come more quickly now. She fell to the floor and just cried for what felt like hours. She didn’t even hear the footsteps turn down the hall.

.X.

Once Sirius, Leah, and Vita turned the corner, they removed the Invisibility cloak. Sirius reached inside his pocket and pulled out a heavy bag. He handed it to Leah.

“Ninety galleons,” he announced quietly. “You were the winner. One month. The two of them lasted one month.”

Sirius and Vita looked sadly over at Leah, knowing that the three of them had just witnessed something indescribably unfortunate.

“Victory doesn’t feel so sweet right now,” Leah told them sadly.

A/N: Everyone is going to hate me now. I know, I know. Well, maybe not me, per say. Maybe you’ll all hate Ethan more. However you feel, feel free to share it in a review.

16. Let Me Go

Chapter 16- Let Me Go

Christmas morning arrived quickly. It seemed as if the days grew shorter without James, horribly quick and unnerving. Lily awoke, her arms covered in goose bumps. She looked mournfully around her empty dorm. Hardly anyone had stayed at Hogwarts that Christmas. No seventh years had stayed in her house, only a couple of first and second years. She missed her friends, she missed her family, and most of all, she missed James.

It was her own fault, she knew that. She let Ethan Sullivan twist his way into her vulnerability. She hated herself for it, she was strong. She shouldn’t have let someone come between the two of them so easily.

James had headed off to his empty house with Sirius, Remus, and Peter. Lily had written to her mum and explained her wishes to stay at Hogwarts opposed to coming home. Leah had gone off to her foster parents’ home, Ruby to her family’s cottage, Erin next door to Potter, and Vita to France for the holiday.

They had all offered to take Lily home with them, although they were quite upset about James and Lily’s recent breakup. Lily had declined as politely as she could, knowing she needed to be at home for the time being.

Her thoughts needed to clear, her mind needed to become optimistic. She couldn’t stray the name James Potter from her head. It was stuck, immovable, irreplaceable.

As she walked down the cold stairs to the Gryffindor Common Room, hot tears strolled down her cheeks. Her green eyes easily became puffy these days. The room was empty, the fire was blazing. She hadn’t even bothered to look at the presents that sat at the end of her bed. The armchair resting before the hot fire seemed so much more inviting. It was calling for a heartbroken seventeen year old girl like herself.

.X.

Ruby Wallace sat on the edge of bed in her pajamas, fresh from awaking, reading the note attached to her present from Remus Lupin.

Dear Ruby,

I hope your Christmas is as perfect as it should be. I’m stuck at James’ house with my three lunatic friends. James isn’t his normal, crazy self though. He’s been trying too hard to be fun, hoping to forget her. I can tell he misses Lily like crazy.

If you talk to her, send her my regards.

I must say I find myself missing you as well. You're such a lovely person to be around. It’s difficult for me to openly trust someone, but I know I can trust you. That is the greatest gift of all. You’re a beautiful person inside and out. I am lucky to know someone as remarkable as you.

I was unsure about the present I bought you. I hope you like it. If you don’t, don’t be afraid to tell me. I won’t be offended.

I wish you the happiest Christmas in the world.

Love,

Remus

Ruby smiled as she read the words Remus had written. She put the letter down gently on her night stand. The small parcel he had bought her was sitting in her lap.

She slowly untied the small bow and opened the velvet box. She saw a pair of shimmering blue earrings. She touched them gently, holding them in awe. They were stunning.

The door opened quickly and Ruby hastily tried to put the earrings back into the box. Mrs. Wallace stood at the door, her ruby red lips thin and suspicious.

“Who are those from?” she asked her daughter in a low voice.

“No one,” Ruby insisted, fumbling to close the box.

“They’re obviously not from anyone,” Mrs. Wallace pointed out. “They’re beautiful. Who would buy you something so beautiful?”

“A friend,” Ruby confided in a whisper. Her black curls were tucked behind her ears and she felt like a little girl in the presence of her mother. She always had. No one could make her feel so childish.

“Hand over that letter,” Mrs. Wallace demanded, eyeing the piece of parchment on Ruby’s nightstand.

Ruby obliged, sitting down sheepishly on her bed. Her mother’s eyes skimmed the words, her eyebrows raised.

“This Lupin character,” Mrs. Wallace mentioned. “Sounds a bit overwhelming. Are you paying him to say these nice things to you? Did he feel obligated to buy you those earrings?”

“No,” Ruby defensively cried. Her voice was raising.

“I mean, you’re so tall. I can’t understand how a boy could possibly find that remarkable,” Mrs. Wallace said. Ruby’s mum was a spitting image to Ruby aside from her short stature. Ruby had inherited height from her father and had always been ridiculed about having a boyish frame.

“Remus is tall,” Ruby said. “He’s taller than me.”

“You’re still the tallest of your friends though, aren’t you?” Mrs. Wallace said in an accusing voice.

“Does it matter?” Ruby asked.

“Of course it matters,” Mrs. Wallace shrieked. “I don’t want my daughter standing out like a freak.”

With that, Mrs. Wallace took the letter and herself out the door, leaving a teary eyed Ruby.

“Happy Christmas to you too, Mum,” she whispered, wiping the tears.

.X.

“More attacks,” Leah muttered, reading the front page of the Daily Prophet. “It’s Christmas. You would think the attacks would stop.”

“Unfortunately,” Leah’s foster dad sighed. “That’s not the way it works.”

“Twisted,” Mrs. Graham, Leah’s foster mum mumbled. “The whole lot of them.”

Almost immediately Mrs. Graham put a hand to her mouth and covered it in embarrassment. Leah nodded and walked out of the room quietly.

It was a well-known fact that Leah’s father had been a very high up Death Eater before he had been killed by Voldemort. Back when she was in first year she used to be ridiculed by Slytherins for her father’s cowardice. The fact that her foster mum said it only made things slightly worst.

She knew Mrs. Graham hadn’t meant what she said. She was just sad about the deaths. Leah didn’t want to be judged by her father’s mistake.

Christmas was a time for family, a time for joy and love. Leah didn’t have any of those things. The Grahams had adopted her when she was nine years old and had treated her as their own. Yet, Leah still remembered her mother. Her mother had been a kind woman, very pleasant. She had been killed by Leah’s father. With memories of her old family, it was hard to accept her new family.

She missed Sirius so much. He always knew how to make her smile. She still had about a week before she could see him again. She also missed Lily, knowing her friend was alone and confused right now. It would be hard to spend Christmas alone. Leah would know, she always felt alone on Christmas.

.X.

“Drunk,” Sirius declared, seeing a passed out James on the couch. A bottle of fire whiskey was open beside him, nearly empty. A strange stupor was coming off of him, lingering into the air obtrusively.

“James never gets drunk,” Peter justified. “That can’t be it.”

“You’re absolutely right, Peter,” Sirius mocked. “A near-empty bottle of liquor in his hands and a passed out James Potter couldn’t possibly point out the fact that he’s drunk!”

“Bloody genius,” Remus congratulated. “Good thing his parents aren’t going to be here for another week.”

“Poor Prongs,” Sirius muttered. “He had Lily, now he doesn’t. He had his parents, now they’re gone traveling. It’s Christmas and he has no one.”

“He has us,” Remus reminded him.

“It’s not the same,” Sirius sighed. “He misses her. I know he does. The two of them are far too stubborn to sort out their problems the mature way.”

“This coming from a man who had a pool going on when they would break up,” Remus said, rolling his eyes.

“Hey,” Sirius objected. “It was bound to happen. They’re the most estranged people I know. Well, maybe not. Bellatrix is a little out there. I figured I may as well try to make a little money off of it. I know that was wrong, don’t give me that look Moony.”

“Maybe if we’d all shown a little more faith, they’d have made it,” Remus quietly stated.

“I don’t know,” Peter said. “We don’t know what could have happened. They’re a confusing bunch. Lily and James don’t usually contend to being in the predictable category.”

“You’re right,” Sirius said. “We will never know.”

James’ passed out body lay on the couch dreaming of Lily at that very moment. He only wished she would be doing the same.

.X.

Lily awoke to the sound of a slamming Portrait Hole. Her head lifted up from the armchair and she looked around. Thankfully the first years hadn’t bothered her.

She tried hard to remember what she had been dreaming of, but all that came to mind was James’ unmanageable hair. How she missed him.

She had been horrible, she had backed down after he had worked so hard. She let her insecurities take control. She didn’t want anything controlling her life other than the rational part of her mind. Unfortunately, that wasn’t always the case for Lily.

She would be lucky if he ever talked to her again. The look in his eyes when she had brought up the subject of breaking up had been enough to scare the wits out of her. He had been hurt, so hurt. She had done what she had been afraid of all along.

She had hurt him; she had hurt him bad.

A/N: Please review.

17. Just Friends

Chapter 17- Just Friends

“Lily darling, I don’t know how you stayed here all alone,” Erin wept in a dramatic tone, flopping onto Lily’s bed.

“Weren’t you lonely?” Vita asked, unpacking her suitcase and neatly folding her clothes into her trunk.

“I guess,” Lily sighed. She had been lonely, but the after effects of her actions had been the excruciating part. Deep down inside, a feeling had risen into her stomach and it would not leave her alone. This had never happened with any other boy. Lily wasn’t sure what to make of it.

As feet stomped up the stairs, the bright face of Leah Graham entered the dorm. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were sparkling. This could mean only one thing; Sirius Black.

“I see you’re much more cheerful,” Erin noted from the bed, raising an eyebrow.

“I missed him,” Leah confessed. “Everything was so polite and stiff at my house. It was so exhilarating to just be free with someone.”

Lily knew what she meant. Her mother and sister had always been so quiet about Lily’s father’s death. During the summer, Lily only embraced the fact that he was gone when she was all alone in her room. She didn’t dare mention it with her family. Yet, she had talked to her friends about it. And then there was James. She had talked to him about it as well.

Another deep sigh escaped from Lily’s mouth and her red hair spread out along the pillow. She wasn’t ready to see him yet. It would be awkward and uncomfortable. She knew how those things went. It had been awkward to speak to Ethan, even more so when they had spoken about her insecurities.

As Leah gushed over Sirius, Erin and Vita paid their utmost attention to the details. Only Lily noticed the frail figure of Ruby Wallace enter the room. She was slouching, as if ashamed to stand tall, and had a downcast look in her eyes. This was not the Ruby Lily liked to see.

“What did she do to you, Rubes?” Lily asked, getting up and hugging her arms around her friend. Ruby just shook her head and buried her face in Lily’s shoulder. The others immediately stopped talking about Sirius and rushed over to comfort their friend.

“Did she make fun of you?” Erin whispered. She knew all too well about Mrs. Wallace’s behavior. She had stayed in the Wallace home one Christmas and had quickly caught onto the verbal abuse coming Ruby’s way.

Ruby nodded, walking slowly over to her bed. She sat motionless upon it, her dark curls hanging loosely off her face. Slow, steady tears were traveling from her piercing blue eyes onto her thinned ruby red lips.

“What’s wrong?” Leah inquired, worried for her friend.

Erin shook her head, feeling so much anger towards Mrs. Wallace at that moment, that it was unexplainable.

“Ruby Wallace, you listen to me. Being tall is not a deformity. You are beautiful and poised. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, do you hear me? You are my friend and I never let anyone talk down on my friends,” Erin dictated, her voice steady and brave. She was staring straight at her friend. Ruby just nodded.

“I would kill to have legs as long as yours,” Leah divulged. “If anything, you’re lucky. You look just like a model.”

“Don’t let her make you feel weak,” Vita encouraged. “You are a strong seventeen year old witch. What is she? A housewife well past middle age who has nothing better to do than bring down her only daughter.”

“I guess you’re right,” Ruby said, smiling for the first time since leaving her dorm two weeks before.

The girls managed to gather into a group hug, holding onto one another in a sort of pact. They would try to always be there for each other.

Suddenly, Lily felt as if her feelings were inferior to the pain Ruby had been undertaking. It made her feel ashamed.

That night, as Lily read a book she had received for Christmas, she felt a body slide onto the couch beside her. She smelled the scent, recognizing it immediately.

Lucky for her, shivers ran up her spine as he breathed next to her.

“Potter,” she welcomed him, in what she hoped wasn’t a cold voice.

“Lily,” he replied right back. He stretched his arm across the couch, touching her shoulder for a millisecond, and sprawled out into a more comfortable position. “I was just thinking up in my dorm and I thought I should share these thoughts with you.”

“Share away,” she invited, still concentrating on the words written on the pages of her book. They were becoming blurry, hard to focus on. She wondered if James had this effect on all the girls. Why was he effecting her like so?

“Well, as Sirius was gushing over Leah- “He does that too?” she interrupted. “Oh yes, he does gush. Anyways, I was sitting on my bed, strumming my fingers innocently on the bedpost when an idea struck me. It was absolute genius and I have no idea why it took me so long. I mean, I am Head Boy, I should have been able to come up with this solution a long, long time ago.”

“This solution may be?” Lily inquired, not knowing what he was going on about.

“I think we should be friends,” he proclaimed, looking straight at her to see her reaction. She looked over at him impatiently.

“You know that doesn’t work,” she reminded him. “It’s near impossible.”

“Nothing’s impossible, dearest Lily. I am James Potter, conqueror of all challenges. I don’t give up that easily,” he retorted, brushing a hand through his messy hair.

“There is not one case in which two parties can date, then break up, and then resume a friendship. It’s not logical,” Lily stated, closing her book and giving her full attention to the conversation.

“Erin and Sirius,” James quipped, catching her off guard. She had forgotten about Erin and Sirius. The two of them had dated, broken things off, and now were friends. He was even dating one of her best friends. Somehow this trivial little fact had slipped right past her.

“I guess you have a point,” she voiced, somewhat defeated. “I just don’t see how the two of us can make something like that work. In case you’ve forgotten, we did end things rather messily.”

“I haven’t forgotten,” he said quietly. “I just hoped we could make it past that awkward, uncomfortable phase and try and reach a different level. We’ve never really been friends. It would be something new, a challenge.”

She contemplated this for a moment. Ordinarily, she would have said no right off the bat. No guy usually pursued the ‘let’s be friends’ opportunity. Something about the way James was so at ease made her nod in agreement. She wanted to be his friend, she needed to be his friend. Somehow, she hoped this might make up for her insensitive behavior before.

The two of them had already moved past awkward and into civilized; that was a start. They weren’t at one another’s throats, they weren’t having a row, she wasn’t even crying. They were sitting on the couch and having a normal, slightly out of the blue, conversation.

“Am I delusional?” Sirius asked Remus, slapping his face in hopes of waking up.

“No,” Remus assured him. “They’re actually getting along.”

“Three galleons on how long this little friendship lasts?” Sirius proposed to his friend, a wicked grin forming on his face.

“Not this time, Padfoot,” Remus ordered. “We leave them be this time.”

If being James’ friend was supposed to be difficult to adjust to, it wasn’t. She felt she could talk to him about anything. They often sat in the Gryffindor Common Room before patrol and talked about whatever came to mind. The time spent patrolling the halls was dedicated to getting to know one another better. Even after patrol they would sit down and do homework with each other.

If James was hurting, he wasn’t letting onto it. Lily was always worried he would bring it up, but he never did. He respected her boundaries, knowing that they would pass into awkward at the mention of it.

The information that should have been acquired before they’d ever started dating was finally coming out into the open. Lily learned that James had never liked cabbage, was an only child, listened to Muggle music sometimes, and had a small scar on the top of his forehead from when a tree branch had landed on him when he was five. He had learned that her favorite color was green, she’d had a crush on her next door neighbor when she was ten, her sister had always resented her, and that she felt there was no such thing as true love.

While in Potions class, Erin and Leah observed Lily and James with great caution. They were working hard, concentrating on the potion and still carrying on a conversation. They seemed to be playing some sort of alphabet game that Leah and Erin couldn’t figure out.

“Lemons,” Lily said, dropping a fig leaf into the potion and stirring it three times as directed.

“Spaghetti,” he piped in, chopping up a salamander tail.

“Ice cream.”

“Mushrooms.”

“Strawberries.”

“What are they doing?” Leah asked, still concentrating on how the game went.

“I think it’s about food, but I can’t be sure,” Erin mumbled, not noticing that her cauldron had been set on fire accidentally by her wand.

“Those two are an odd pair,” Leah observed. “Talking about food. Is that all they talk about?”

“Graham! Parker! Detention!” the professor barked, attempting to put out the fire.

“For what?” they cried in unison.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Ruby sighed, rolling her eyes and putting out the fire with a simple swish of her wand.

“Gosh darn detention,” Erin grumbled, returning with her brow furrowed and her pale blonde hair flying askew. “Never in my life have I experienced so much strain and physical labor from cleaning out bedpans with no magic.”

“I don’t know what her problem is,” Leah ranted. “Must have stuck her wand too far up her a-”

“Lily,” a voice called from the common room up to the dorm, drowning out Leah’s voice temporarily.

Lily got off of her bed and walked down the stairs. She saw James smiling as she did so.

“Time for patrol,” he reminded her.

“Oh, you’re right,” she said, glancing up at the clock.

The two of them walked out of the common room happily, no bickering involved.

“This entire scenario is scaring me,” Sirius murmured, making his move on the chess board against Remus. Remus nodded, acknowledging and accepting the fact that Sirius had just said.

“Lily and James friends?” Remus asked. “It’s a crazy world we live in, Padfoot. I don’t know if I’d want it any other way though.”

A/N: That game Lily and James was playing was adapted from The Truth About Forever. it's where you name something ending in the last letter of the word previously stated. Like if someone says bread, the other person would say something starting with a d. Please review.

18. Desperate Times

Chapter 18-Desperate Times

Months passed without any hesitation. The spring weather was a release for the students, allowing them to take walks along the lake and enjoy the fresh air. Lily and James maintained their friendship, learning more and more about one another.

Lily talked to him about her father, something she didn’t like to bring up. James talked to her about his parents, their line of work, and what it was like being an only child. Lily had often imagined James as a pampered child, receiving everything and anything he wanted. She quickly learned that he often felt alone in his house, separated from the outside world. Only when Sirius started visiting did he really enjoy his time away from Hogwarts.

Leah and Sirius were blossoming into what many would call, “a serious couple”. They had little spats here or there, but resolved it with a little trip to the broom closet. Erin enjoyed taking first years under her wing and teaching them the ropes. Ruby was still coping with the trauma her mother had caused, but Remus was there, reassuring as ever. Vita had started cramming for NEWT’s already, something that had completely slipped Lily’s mind.

“Now, I know what you’re going to say about this,” Erin said hesitantly as the girls paced their dorms before a weekend trip to Hogsmeade. “Blind dates are usually a no-go. This one happens to be very nice and very good looking.”

Lily looked at her friend in bewilderment.

“What are you getting at?” Lily asked, running a brush through her red curls.

“His name is Simon Hall. He’s a shy, seventh year Hufflepuff. He’s very cute,” Leah informed her. “I had a little trouble getting you this date, but once I dropped your name, he was willing.”

The trouble she had experienced had mainly been due to Sirius. Sirius didn’t want Lily to get set up, but Leah insisted that she needed to be. So, Sirius had told Simon that Lily was a nutcase who babbled on about inappropriate topics all through meals. This had earned him a slap on the head from Leah, but it had almost worked nonetheless.

“I’m not ready to go on a date,” Lily panicked, now searching through clothes.

“You have no choice,” Ruby told her. “He’s going to meet you outside of the Three Broomsticks and you’re going to go have a butter beer. It’s all set up.”

“I thought we didn’t date Hufflepuffs,” Lily reminded Leah. Leah turned, her strawberry blonde curls following. She had placed them into a neat ponytail and was still awaiting what to wear.

“I don’t,” she said simply. “But you’re going to.”

Lily sighed, knowing it was best not to argue with her friends. It had been awhile since her last date. She might as well give Simon Hall a chance.

As Lily stood outside of the Three Broomsticks with her friends, she shivered a little. Her hands were getting cold and her cheeks were bright red from the wind. Erin had let her borrow a stylish scarf and Ruby had done her hair. Vita had painted her nails and Leah had done her makeup. All in all, Lily felt pretty good about herself.

That is, until he came. Sure enough, James walked up to the Three Broomsticks with his friends. Sirius winked at Leah and escorted her inside the pub. James stood there, grinning at the sight of her.

“You look nice,” he commented. “Hot date?”

Lily felt her cheeks burn bright red. She looked up at him nervously and saw that he was staring at his feet now.

“This is awkward,” he said aloud. “It shouldn’t have to be like this. Hey, we’re just friends. Friends talk about these sort of things. It shouldn’t be awkward, should it?”

“James,” she said softly. “You better go sit with your friends.”

He nodded and waved goodbye. She could feel his eyes on her as she sat down with Simon Hall, who happened to be very nice.

All through that date, she couldn’t help but wonder what James was thinking. She had no idea why it mattered to her so much.

“I don’t think it’s working,” Sirius mumbled to Erin and Leah. The three of them had volunteered to go get the drinks and they were now watching Lily very closely.

“She’s laughing,” Erin mused. “That is never a good sign. Why’d you have to pick someone so perfect?”

“So that Lily could recognize all the flaws James has,” Leah said in an obvious tone.

“Aren’t we trying to steer her clear of that?” Sirius asked, turning to look at Leah. “She’s not going to realize she’s madly in love with him if this bloke appears to be so much better.”

“What was I thinking?” Leah mumbled. “Simon is perfect! Poor James. I thought this was a full proof plan.”

“Nothing’s full proof,” Erin reminded her friend wisely. Her celery green eyes were focused on Lily’s. “She loves him, I know it.”

“How was it?” Vita asked, looking up from her study guide as Lily walked into the room.

“He was great,” Lily said sadly. “Absolutely wonderful. He is smart, handsome, plays Quidditch, enjoys reading. He’s everything a girl would hope for.”

“But..?” Vita questioned, raising an eyebrow.

But he’s not James, Lily thought inside her head.

“Nothing,” she mumbled. “But nothing.”

“Are you sure we’re doing the right thing?” Leah asked Sirius and Erin as they set up the trap.

“Desperate times call for desperate measures,” Sirius assured his girlfriend.

“If they love each other as much as I know they do, they’ll work out all their problems and live happily ever after,” Erin said, setting a charm on the door.

“James should be returning from Quidditch any second,” Sirius said, checking the clock on the wall. “Me and Leah will use the cloak and you’ll scream. Lily should be turning the corner with that book you asked for, and then we’ll push her in as well.”

“Got it,” Erin said. As she heard footsteps, she began screaming. They sounded heavier and sloppier, so she assumed it was James. Sure enough, his raven colored hair turned the corner, his body following.

“James! It was Snape! He hit me and now he’s in there,” Erin screamed. “I don’t know what to do.”

James’ eye grew wide and his wand was taken from his pocket. He opened the door and stepped inside.

“Hey,” James protested. “He’s not in here.”

Quickly, Leah, Sirius, and Erin closed the door and locked it, disarming James’ wand before he could do anything about it. Footsteps rushed down from the stairs and Leah and Sirius ducked under the invisibility cloak. Lily had a book in her hand and was looking down at her friend confused.

“I thought I heard screaming,” Lily said, looking at Erin suspiciously.

“It was Snape,” Erin assured her friend. “I trapped him inside this broom closet. You’re Head Girl, you should know what to do with him.”

Lily was about to open the door when Erin tore her wand out of her friends hand. Sirius and Leah opened the door and pushed Lily in, now locking it securely.

Lily had closed her eyes and was now breathing heavily. She only opened her eyes when she heard another person breathing beside her. She carefully looked up and saw James.

“What are you doing in here?” she questioned, anger building.

He must have been in on this, she thought to herself.

“Sirius pushed me in here,” James said, plopping angrily onto the ground. “Stupid prat put a sticking spell on the door. Can’t even push my way out.”

“So we’re stuck in here until they get us out?” Lily asked.

“Unfortunately,” James grumbled. It seemed to Lily that he didn’t want to be stuck in a broom closet anymore than she did. So, she sat down next to him and started banging her head against the wall.

“I am going to kill Erin and Leah once I get out of here,” Lily whispered quietly.

They sat in awkward silence for what felt like forever. More than anything, Lily wanted to grab a hold of James’ hand. He smelled so good, fresh out of the showers after Quidditch practice. She was humbled by that smell, his smell. He looked so shy and sad, almost like a little kid, as they sat in that closet.

“Lily,” he said softly all of a sudden. She turned her head to look at him. “Did you like Simon Hall better than me?”

So it had bothered him. She saw him looking at the ground sadly. It was depressing to think that she kept hurting him.

“No,” she whispered. “I didn’t.”

“Why not?” he asked almost immediately. “He’s perfect for you. He likes Charms, he’s smart, he’s not arrogant in the least. He doesn’t bully anyone. He’s not looking for forever. It’s right down your alley.”

“He’s perfect,” she said. James nodded. He obviously thought so as well. “He’s too perfect. I’m not looking for perfect.”

“You should be with him,” James said after a moment. “You deserve someone like that.”

“Maybe I do deserve him,” Lily commented. “But I don’t deserve you.”

This caused him to turn his head. He looked surprised.

“James,” she said quietly. “There is so much wrong with me. I’m a mess. Yet, I have a heart. It’s slowly breaking as the days go on. I find myself waking up crying at night. It used to be because I missed my dad. Now, it’s because I miss you.”

“You don’t want me though,” James reminded her. “We’re not right for each other. It would never work.”

“If we think that, then it never will,” Lily voiced. “Like I said, I’m not looking for perfect. I’m not perfect and you’re not perfect. I think that makes us perfect for each other.”

“You think so?” he questioned.

“I know so,” she whispered. “I know it because I love you.”

A/N: Sorry it was short, but hey! It was eventful. Please review.

19. Finally

Chapter 19-Finally

I wake up in the morning
Put on my face
The one that's gonna get me
Through another day
Doesn't really matter
How I feel inside
This life is like a game sometimes

Then you came around me
The walls just disappeared
Nothing to surround me
Keep me from my fears
I'm unprotected
See how I've opened up
You've made me trust

Cuz I've never felt like this before
I'm naked around you
Does it show?
You see right through me
And I can't hide
I'm naked around you
And it feels so right

“Parker, even though you’re very wise and almost always right, I’m not too sure about this plan of yours,” Sirius said in a wary voice as he sat outside the broom closet. Erin’s pale blonde head snapped towards Sirius questionably.

“What do you mean?” she inquired. “My plans are always right.”

“They’ve been in there for hours and nothing has happened. I don’t hear anything,” Sirius complained.

“He’s right,” Leah agreed. “Prefects are going to be coming out soon. People are going to wonder where Lily and James are. If this is getting us nowhere, we might as well just put them out of their misery.”

Erin nodded, her celery green eyes staring sadly at the ground before she lifted herself up and pulled out her wand.

“I just thought this would be the only way to do something about this mess,” Erin said thoughtfully. “They’re both so stubborn and difficult. I thought this would be the perfect solution.”

“Well, no one’s perfect. I suppose you have to be wrong every once in awhile,” Sirius figured. He undid the sticking charm reluctantly and waited as Leah opened the door.

“Mother of pearl!” Sirius screamed as he saw what was inside. He slammed the door shut quickly, his eyes wide and surprised. A huge grin broke out on his face before he erupted in a sing song voice. “Evans was snogging!”

Leah started giggling uncontrollably, literally collapsing onto the floor in a state of hysteria.

“I was right,” Erin whispered to herself. “I was right again. I knew it.”

She thrust her fist into the air victoriously.

The three of them made their way back to the Gryffindor Common Room, not talking once, but laughing in spite of what had happened. It was all too unbelievable.

They opened the door of the Common Room to see Remus playing chess against Vita with Ruby watching intently as the two attempted to teach her the game.

“Why don’t you move that knight?” Ruby suggested to Vita.

Vita grinned, doing so and pronouncing, “Check.”

“Whose side are you on, anyways?” Remus grumbled playfully.

Ruby turned her head as she heard the hysterical laughter coming from behind her. Her friends’ faces were beat red, as well as Sirius’.

“What in the name of Merlin is so funny?” Vita demanded.

“Don’t mind them,” Remus whispered. “They’re an odd bunch.”

“Lily and James!” Leah said, putting her hands together. “James and Lily.”

“Broom closet! Sticking charm! Laughed-fell over-giggled like a little girl,” Sirius managed to say, clutching his side from the stitches that had formed near his abdomen.

“Lily hurt James so bad you hid him in a broom closet and laughed like a little girl?” Ruby asked, trying to put it all together.

“Snogging!” Erin screamed. “They were snogging.”

The entire common room looked their way, gasping at the new news. Soon, everyone was laughing as hard as Sirius, Erin, and Leah were.

An hour after Sirius, Erin, and Leah had discovered them, Lily and James decided to take a breath. James’ hair was even more rumpled than usual and his glasses were sitting crooked on his nose. Lily’s lips were swollen and her cheeks were red. They left the closet smiling, holding hands and just looking up at one another affectionately from time to time.

It was all very beautiful. Only when they ran into Sirius and Leah did they realize that their feet had led them to the common room.

“Isn’t this sweet?” Leah teased. “They’re holding hands.”

“So are you two,” Lily pointed out, gesturing to Leah and Sirius’ locked hands.

“Good point,” Leah said. “But you didn’t find us snogging. We’re a bit more secretive. Don’t like to make a huge spectacle about it.”

“How was it, Prongs?” Sirius whispered to James. Leah smacked his arm, but laughed. “I knew that Parker was right. The two of you thought you’d never get out of that closet, so you started working on pro-creation. Was it your idea, Evans? Women are always going on about children and such.”

Lily and James just smiled, not wanting to talk about it very much.

“Well, since the two of you aren’t going to talk to us about snogging, we’ll just have to do a little of our own to satisfy our thirst for kiss and tell stories,” Leah said.

“We’ll be back with our story in about forty-five minutes,” Sirius informed them. “Do you think that’ll be enough time?”

Leah nodded, pulling him off in the other direction.

Lily and James just laughed. They headed into the common room where they were immediately confronted by nearly everyone in the Gryffindor Common Room. So much for keeping it a secret.

“Have I told you how much I loved you?” James asked Lily over breakfast as they were reading the prophet together and sipping at their orange juice.

“Not in the last five minutes,” Lily said, kissing him on the cheek.

“This is sickening,” Erin declared, watching the two of them from across the table. “Maybe our plan wasn’t the best thought out one. Now we have to watch them practically act like an old married couple at the table.”

“I think it’s sweet,” Ruby said quietly.

“It is,” Erin assured her. “It’s all sweet. I’m just bitter, is all. You don’t see a match like that every day.”

“No, you don’t,” Vita agreed. “You said it from the start though, Erin.”

“I did, didn’t I?” Erin said, smiling.

“Potter and Evans,” Professor McGonagall said joyously at the staff table. “Never in a million years. It’s beautiful to see what happens at this school.”

“You said it from the start, didn’t you, Albus?” Professor Sprout asked the headmaster.

Professor Dumbledore just smiled his all-knowing smile and continued eating his oatmeal.

“It’s all so lovely,” Professor McGonagall stated. “Potter’s not even disruptive anymore. Evans keeps him in line! It’s the most amazing cycle I’ve ever had the fortune of encountering.”

“Love is a splendid thing,” Dumbledore agreed. “How long have they been together now?”

“I’d say about three months,” McGonagall figured. “At least that’s what Graham and Parker told me. Those two! If I’ve ever had two more distracted people..”

“Distracted, but very loyal. I believe it was the two of them and Mr. Black that worked this magic,” Dumbledore told her.

“That Sirius Black,” McGonagall sighed. “What will I ever do with him?”

Dumbledore just chuckled. He was well aware of Sirius Black.

“This school is almost like a dream,” he whispered. “Everyone has a part and it’s played out. You almost always wonder when you’re going to wake up and it will be over.”

McGonagall looked over at her colleague surprised. You never knew when Dumbledore would say something very meaningful that would stick with you.

“Too good to be true, it is,” McGonagall agreed.

“Congratulations! You’ve graduated,” Professor Dumbledore said to the seventh years. Everyone looked around, smiling at one another. They had done it. They were free.

Lily turned to James and planted her lips on his, cherishing one of the best moments of her life.

Sirius and Leah had started as soon as Dumbledore had said the word ‘Congratulations’. They were stopping only to inhale air, but were happy nonetheless. It was apparent that the two of them were extremely glad to have Hogwarts done and over with.

Remus had slowly hugged Ruby, placing a soft and delicate kiss on her mouth. She had never felt more special in her life. For once, she didn’t feel any different than anyone else.

Peter looked around at everyone, seeing all the kissing and merriment. Erin Parker and Vita Robins were only inches away. If only he could…

“Sorry, Pete,” Erin said as he tried to kiss her. She walked away, to talk to her friends.

“Don’t even think about it,” Vita told him. “You spilled ink on me in second year and never apologized. You missed your chance, buddy.”

“Better luck next time, Wormtail,” Sirius teased, messing up his friends’ hair. “We’re done! It’s amazing!”

“It’s almost sad,” Ruby said in a sentimental tone.

She looked over to see Leah and Erin approaching the Potions teacher, reminiscing on the countless times they ruined her classroom and brought the woman to tears.

Sirius was inviting McGonagall to a graduation that he was ‘supposedly’ having in an underground wizarding nightclub. James chuckled at this, knowing the Transfiguration teacher would see through the lie.

“Why so sad, Wallace?” Remus asked, coming up behind her and kissing her neck.

“This might be the last time we’re all together,” Ruby said sadly.

“No,” Remus assured her. “It won’t be.”

“Don’t be sad,” Leah said, coming over to her friend. “It’s been a long year, but it’s supposed to be the last one for a reason. It’s our time to grow up.”

“Wow,” Erin said softly. “I’m supposed to be the wise one.”

“Do you think we did a good job?” Sirius asked, coming up and looking over at two people.

Erin and Leah followed his gaze to see Lily and James, sitting beneath a willow tree in the distance.

As Lily kissed James, Erin nodded.

“Yes,” she said. “We did.”

A/N: Please review.

20. Auntie Erin

Chapter 20- Auntie Erin

When I woke up this morning to a bright, sunshine filled day, I was surprised. I had almost expected a hail storm, a natural disaster of some sort. Today wasn’t expected to be perfect, but it was.

It was almost depressing to get up and know that two of your friends were growing up. Yet, the fact that I helped them seemed to make a difference.

I didn’t have to leave for another hour so I roamed through my apartment. Part of it was shared with my good friend, Leah Graham. We were slobs, truth be told, but I still could find that treasured box I was searching for.

It was small, not anything spectacular, but it held memories that I loved and cherished. It was filled to the brim with all sorts of chaos; most being from seventh year. That year was stressful, heartbreaking to say the least, and nearly unbearable. It was the year the Marauders joined forces with me and my friends for the greater good. I am proud to say, we didn’t fail.

The first thing I came across was a picture. A picture of all of us at the lake. There was Vita on the end, smiling and dipping her feet into the water ever so carefully. There was Ruby, her face shyly in her hair, her hands around her knees self-consciously. There was Lily, her smile wide, her eyes sparkling. There was Leah, splashing around in the water with her pant legs rolled up to her knees. Then, there was me. I was right in the middle, not even gazing at the camera, but watching my friends with fascination.

I came across a notebook I had started in seventh year. I used to add things to it when our plans almost terminated.

Lily dumped Ethan Sullivan. Can’t say I’m too concerned about that. He was a stuck up snob if I do say so myself.

Lily got made Head Girl along with, surprisingly enough, James Potter. Should be an interesting year.

Evil plot formed in my mind to set the two of them up. I may be crazy, but stupid I am not.

Lily talks with Sirius Black (how low could she sink?) and finally realizes that she may indeed have a bit of a problem concerning his best friend.

Sirius Black and I (gasp) become friends. Allies in the making.

Lily (screw ball that she is) asks Gary Freeman out by mistake when actually trying to ask James Potter. This girl, can’t take her anywhere.

Lily talks about her dad after a horrible date with Gary.

Lily kisses James Potter! AW! I know, it’s beautiful to see how far they’ve come. Yet, she ran away and started crying. Somehow, this was a sort of revelation for Leah, who ran into the common room and joined her lips to Sirius Black’s. This seemed to be enough for him.

James confronts Lily, but she insists that the timing is not right. She’s very indecisive. I’m her best friend, I should know. I feel as though that by the time they’re together they’re going to be ninety years old.

Lily’s sworn enemy, Jenna Thompson, goes after James and surprisingly he accepts.

James falls off a broom. Leave these two alone for too long and they go around crashing into walls and falling off of brooms. I swear, they’re like toddlers. Erin this, and Erin that. That James Potter, claims he’s Quidditch captain, but he’s still falling off of his broom. Next Lily will be diving off of the Astronomy Tower into the lake. Better go make sure her head is still connected to her neck.

Lily turns into a jealous broad who wishes she was Jenna Thompson. Somehow, while overhearing this in our dorm, Jenna sets the record straight.

The two heads skip classes and get together in the process. It’s about damn time. I am only jealous that I had to be in class while they were professing their undying love for one another. Sure beats what I was doing. I was in Potions for crying out loud! We all know how good I am at Potions..

Walked into Great Hall and nearly had a heart attack. There were James Potter and Lily Evans. At the same table. Breathing the same air. Sitting by one another! Too much to take, must breathe.

James wants to meet Lily’s parents and her to meet his, but of course Lily is far too complicated to go through with such a thing.

Stupid Ethan Sullivan ruins all that I have worked so hard to build. If James doesn’t get to him first, I may just have to take him out.

They broke up! The world is over. I want to just shake the two of them and scream, “Why don’t you ever listen to me?” Is that a bit self-centered or what?

Sirius had placed a pool on how long their relationship would last. That darn Leah Graham won it. That’s a month of chocolate from Honeydukes. I envy her. Maybe she’ll share..

They decided to be friends. Have to see how this works out..

Lily goes on a date with the perfectly ordinary Simon Hall.

Sirius, Leah, and I get sick of all this awkwardness and decide to just throw them in a broom closet and let them get it over with. It’s rash, but full proof according to Sirius.

It’s about damn time! We’re graduated, they’re together. I can finally rest.

I sighed as I closed the book of my memories. It all seemed so long ago. I eyed one of the last things in the box. It was a letter I had written to Lily before we had started our seventh year.

Dear Lily,

How’s your summer been? Hopefully it’s been going well. Things around here are pretty unexciting. Although, I can’t truly say that. Living next to the Potters can sometimes bring fun to non-stop boredom.

Mrs. Potter always invites me over for a cup of tea but alas, I must refuse. I don’t want to run into Sirius, of course. That would be so embarrassing. He has seen me this summer though, much to my displeasure. James Potter can’t stop talking about you, Lily. It’s amazing how much he can find to talk about. I’m your best friend and even I can’t talk about you that much. He asked me for your owling address and I told him I couldn’t tell him. I just want you to know, I think you should write to him. Give him a shot. I live next door to him, how bad can he be?

Now, don’t think I’ve forgotten what I promised before we left. You are not, I mean absolutely not, going to give anyone the speech this year. You’re going to find a boyfriend, fall in love, make tons of little Lily’s and make me baby-sit them. I’ll become Auntie Erin and live alone; depressed and distraught.

How’s Petunia? If she’s been dreadful to you, just let me know. I’ll give her a piece of my mind. Trust me, she hasn’t seen me angry yet. You’re one to account for how temperamental I can get. If she gets too hard on you, just imagine all the spells you can do to her once we leave Hogwarts!

Please let me know how you’ve been. I haven’t talked to the others all that much. They’ve been busy vacationing with their families. I miss you, Lils!

With love,

Erin

Old Auntie Erin I am sure to become. I laughed and laughed at how difficult it had been to imagine Lily settling down. It was ironic that I reminisce on this day, opposed to any other. Then again, this day was unlike any others.

Lily and James were getting married. I was maid of honor, would most likely end of babysitting for their dozen of possible children, and could sit back and watch in the meantime.

Lily and James getting married. This I had to see…

A/N: I know it wasn’t long, but it wasn’t meant to be long. It was a sort of epilogue. Thanks for sticking with me. Please review. If you get the chance, answer some of my questions.

1) Who was your favorite JKR created character in this fic? (James, Lily, Sirius, etc,)

2) Who was your favorite original character in this fic? (Erin, Leah, Ruby, Vita, etc.)

3) What was your favorite chapter?

4) What was your favorite quote? (Go Looking)

5) Who did you hate the most? (Ethan, Jenna, etc.)

6) Have you read ‘This Lullaby’ written by Sarah Dessen? Do you think it was too closely related to that or did you like that it was a little different?

7) Have you read my other fics? If not, do go read them.

Thanks a ton. You’re all awesome. Leave tons and tons of review. I’ll love you for it. Please review.

If you have any questions or comments visit my live journal account at http://www.livejournal.com/users/secretlily/

S.L.