Impossible

1. Impossible

Disclaimer: I told my mom I wanted to buy Harry Potter... she laughed.

Reach for the stars

The sky's the limit.

Nothing is impossible.

You can do anything, if you believe you can.

My parents have always told me these things, for as long as I can remember. Stuff like believe in yourself, and you can do it. And until now, I've believed them, but I'm facing a challenge where no amount of wishful thinking and esteem-pumping phrases are going to help. It's just impossible.

Tell me, how can I reach for the stars when they are in another universe? How can the sky be the limit, when I can't even reach it, being bound by gravity to the earth. If nothing is impossible then how can it be, even in the wizarding world, that there is no reversal for death? Things are impossible. I can't do everything, and this is one thing where I can't do anything about to change, even if I did believe in myself. I know the truth, and the truth is that I can't make someone like me. And no one can like me, in that way. I mean I'm plain Hermione Jane Granger. Plain bushy brown hair, plain brown eyes, plain chest, plain height, plain weight, plain face, plain... everything. The only thing that differentiates me from every other unnamed face is that I'm Harry Potter's brainy best friend.

Harry Potter's Brainy Best Friend.

Harry Potter's Best Friend.

Harry Potter's Friend.

Harry Potter.

If you haven't figured out who I want to like me in that way yet, then your thicker than Ron. It's Harry. I don't even think I like him anymore, I think I'm head-over-heels (which I don't wear) in love with the guy. Which is sad, even for me. But all Harry sees me as is his friend. Just his friend. Someone to talk to when he needs to let something out. Someone he can rely on at all times. And I know that's all I'm ever going to get from him, and that's all I'll ever let on that I need. I'll just savor every kiss on the cheek, and remember every warm embrace.

You may think there's a chance he may like me in that way, but I know better. There's no way he could. I know I'm not much to look it, Pansy reminds me of it everyday, and contrary to what I say and how I act, her words do hurt me. They hurt me because I know it's true. I'm not pretty, I'm plain. And I know that Harry can't look at me the way he did Cho last year. She's... not beautiful, but she has this simple prettiness. Something I lack. And even though her personality is that of a complete snob, boys don't care. Looks are what matters to them. I have none. Another reason why Harry liking me is impossible.

While staring at Hogwarts a history, not actually reading it, Merlin knows I could recite the blasted thing from memory, I felt someone come up behind me. Turning around, I came face-to-face with Harry, both my best dream and my worst nightmare in one.

“Can we go for a walk?” he asked.

I nodded and put my book in my bag. He needed to talk, and I would listen. As his best friend it was my duty to listen. He trusted me, and needed me at times, and that was worth more to me then all the love from a thousand different men. He grabbed my hand, something he's been doing since the start of the year, and lead me out of Gryffindor Tower. We walked in silence, we didn't need to use words to keep it from becoming awkward or tense. He would talk when he was ready. And I would be there to listen. Listening is something I can do. Listening is possible.

We walked out the main doors and onto the grounds. It was getting dark out, but I wasn't scared. When I'm with Harry I always feel safe, secure, protected. Even when I'm in life threatening situations. He makes me feel at ease. Merlin, I really am head-over-heels for this guy.

We stopped in front of our tree, I somehow knew he would take me here. It was our spot, and almost everyone knew it. He let go of my hand, which I realized was warm and sweaty, and sat down, back against the tree trunk. I followed suit, sitting down next to him.

We sat in silence for a few minutes. Again, it was comfortable silence. He would talk when he needed to. He cleared his throat, and I knew he was going to start to talk. I turned my head to look at his face(well the side of it), and waited.

“Has... Has Neville told you what happened after you were hit with that curse in the Department of Mysteries?” He asked, his voice a few octaves lower than normal.

“No, I didn't ask him” I replied. Why should I have? Harry got out alright, that's all that matters. I didn't see where this was going.

“Well, I-I was scared.” He took in a shaky breath, this was hard on him, I knew he wasn't done. I put my now-cool hand over his and squeezed it. “I was more scared than anything”, he said, his tone more confident, “My world came crashing down Hermione.” He stopped, probably going through the events in his head once more. “I couldn't think straight. Voldemort could have killed me then and there, and I wouldn't have noticed he was even there. I kept wishing, hoping, praying, and I don't even believe in God, but praying that you were alive. I kept thinking, please don't be dead. It's my fault if you're dead. Curses were flying around me, but all I cared about was you being alive. I didn't even think to check for a pulse, Neville did. I was a such a wreck, I didn't even remember that one ounce of human knowledge. Then when Neville found your pulse, it was like someone drenched me in cold water. You were in danger, and I didn't even think of the danger the others could have been in. I told Neville to leave me, and to bring you to safety. You were all that mattered there.”

“Hermione I...” he began again. “Hermione I..” he said looking down into our joined hands. “I think I feel something... something more than friendship for you.” He looked me in the eyes, his own hoping I would understand what he was saying. I did, but I was at a loss for words.

A few minutes passed, us just staring into each others eyes, when I found my voice.

“That's impossible Harry,” I said, my voice sounding small, fragile, and most of all in denial, even to my own ears.

“Is it?” he asked. “Is it impossible?”

“Yes,” I responded. “Yes because I'm just me, plain looking Hermione Granger, resident bookworm. Your heart-throb Harry Potter, world savior, and the best in the year at Defense Against the Dark Arts. I know we're best friends, and maybe I actually have been sending off signals, or Ginny's told you that you mean more than anything to me, and you`re just being your great old self and pretending to like me so I won`t be such a love-sick person. It`s a nice idea Harry, but I know it`s not real, and you don`t need to let me off easy... I`m a big girl, and being your friend is all I care about. You liking me is impossible Harry.” I said that to his face, and then looked down into my lap, feeling the tears well up in the corners of my eyes, trying blinked the waterworks away. Now was not the time for crying.

“I don't think it's impossible. I never felt this way before... My hands get clammy when I'm holding yours, just knowing it's you. My stomach gets worse butterflies than I had at my first quidditch match when you smile and laugh. And I always have this overwhelming sense of comfort when I look into your beautiful chocolate colored eyes. When you hug me I love to smell your hair, and when I thought I lost you.. well.. you were listening, weren't you?” I nodded my head. Unable again to form any words. This had to be a dream.

“Can I show you something?” he asked. I replied yes.

He got up, grabbed my hand to pull me up, and turned around facing the tree. I did the same, not knowing what he was going to do. Taking out his wand, his hand shaking a little, he muttered accio invisibility cloak, and I gasped at the sight before me.

A gigantic heart was on our tree, with the words Harry and Hermione within it.

All I could think about was how mad this was. It was impossible. Harry couldn't like me in that way.

And as if he was reading my mind he grabbed my hand, turned my face to his and whispered, “Nothing is impossible `Mione”.

And I believed him. Nothing is impossible.