Time to Talk

RuTHLESS

Rating: PG
Genres: Angst, Drama
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 17/04/2005
Last Updated: 17/04/2005
Status: completed

I find the word 'contradict' perfect for what I am saying. You contradicted what you told me. You said we would be together forever, yet you broke us apart...

Chapters

1. Time to Talk

1. Time to Talk

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I also do not own the song Time To Talk, 'Open Hand' does.

Author's Note: This fiction is dedicated to my friend Amie, who has beta-ed things for me when my evil twin was not able to. She also cheered me up at times (you really can get high on air), and had me think happy thoughts (imagine Johnny Depp covered in chocolate...breathing air! On the beach!).

Thanks to my wonderful evil twin Monica! Who has beta-ed EVERYTHING that she could for me. And for also being a wonderful friend who I have countless (not-so)inside jokes with (Harry's potatoes...)

Time to Talk

'Anything for you'
Is what you told me?
The day I sat there with you
Nothing lasts forever
When will we realize it's gone?
(So alone)

That day by the lake on our last day at Hogwarts, you said you loved me. You said that you'd do anything for me.I was so happy, because I'd been waiting for you to say that for the longest time. We talked about living together forever, and being like the silly old couple walking through the park bickering. We also talked about how we would love each other until death.

The years went by, and you told me that you loved me and that you'd do anything for me less and less. By the time we were over, I was hollow. An empty shell of who I once was.

It never seemed possible that you could ever hurt me like you did, especially with you being my best friend for many years. But you proved me wrong.

I find the word 'contradict' perfect for what I am saying. You contradicted what you told me. You said we would be together forever, yet you broke us apart. You told me you'd do anything for me, but when I asked you to return to me, you said you wouldn't.

But what I find most hurtful is that you said you loved me, but you went and contradicted yourself on that one too.

You don't know how long it took me to realize we'd never be together again, and sometimes I still think we have a chance. But that's only a dream, a mere illusion. Just thinking about it, about you, breaks what is left of my heart.

'Anything for you'
Is what you told me?
The day I sat there with you
Did we understand that words were not enough?
You said to me that this would last 'forever'
Why did we rely on
The time when I said 'I can't live without you'?

You didn't know that it would come to an end, and I am not saying you lied, nor am I blaming you. But I am not blaming myself. I shouldn't have believed that you really meant 'forever,' but you shouldn't have believed that I couldn't live without you. I thought I meant it then, but I also thought I loved you.

Maybe I did love you, and maybe you even loved me back, but, as certain as the sky is blue, things have changed.

But didn't I just prove, that we both contradicted ourselves?

This relationship was just one contradiction after another, wasn't it?

It's all over now
(Why you?)
You walked away
(Why you?)
You said that I don't wanna work it out

You are the cause of us breaking up-you broke us up! Maybe I'll never understand why you did it. Maybe you were afraid of getting too close. Or maybe you were just being arrogant.

I even remember talking to you a year later, and I brought it up. You told me that it wasn't worth it, and walked away again.

I told you this then, that if my heart could tell a thousand stories, a thousand heartbreaks, the one you caused me would be the worst, and the one remembered most.

You know that I try
I do lie sometimes
We're just wasting time
Why did we rely on the time when I lie?
The time when I said I can't live without you?

You lied. You told me you loved me, that you never wanted another woman.

I tried to work it out. Even if we could never have the same relationship, we could have remained friends. We had been for so long. Even if we weren't friends the second we met, you were my best friend in the world through some of the most difficult things at the seven years we spent at Hogwarts.

I know you say to me that things 'have changed'
I look in your eyes
And I know that things will remain the same
You said that I follow you
We've lost it all again

And here I am in front of you again. Staring into your mesmerizing green eyes, demanding you tell me how it all ended. You're telling me that things changed, that your feelings changed for me. You say that you want to be together again.

I don't want an apology. I don't want to get back together either.

Then you try and tell me it was my fault, and it doesn't really matter. Because it will never be the same again.

Maybe you love me, but I don't care anymore, because I'll never love you again. And if you do love me, you'll know how much you hurt me when you walked away when I walk away.

Now's my chance to walk away. Don't follow me, don't call my name.

It's my turn to say that I don't want to work things out.

I'm not going to stop and talk again.

I'm not going to turn around.

I'm not going to be set up for heartbreak.

I'm not returning.