1. The Truth Is

The Truth Is

By Felicia aka curlycutie

We had to say goodbye today. Everyone was leaving except me. They were going off into the world and I was standing still. The train pulled into the station and that was it. I was near the back of the train; everyone was streaming out of the train ahead of me. I was usually in a hurry to get off the train but this time I lingered behind.

I was always an observer of people. I liked studying them from a safe distance. The whole world was like my own photo album, the scenes playing out in front of me were all different but the majority of themes were happy. There were parents hugging and coddling their children who they hadn't seen since Christmas. There were some groups of friends still joking around with each other, shouting out goodbyes and promises to send owls for summer plans.

I felt a wave of loneliness wash over me. I had my own friends who were my age but it wasn't the same. Things would never be the same again. I pulled my trunk behind me then set it down near a pillar that was a little out of the way and then I sat down on it. There was so much commotion that I could say that I wasn't able to pass through the crowd when asked what took me so long.

“Are you coming” Luna asked me.

“No not yet,” I replied

“Ok, well I'll see you next year if not before,” and she left.

The platform cleared out quickly; soon it was just me and an enchanted broom sweeping up litter.

“Bollocks,” I cursed aloud to myself. They had left me! I knew it was going to happen one of these days, it was inevitable but I was surprised that it had happened.

“Such language, tsk tsk,” a refined male voice lightly scolded me.

Instead of looking up towards the voice, I closed my eyes and titled my head back against the pillar, “Well that's the way I am, have to get attention somehow in my massive family. I decided to take the rebellious bad girl route.”

He chuckled. I heard a metallic flick and then a snap, the smell of cigarette smoke filled the air. “Those things will kill you,” I said, still not opening my eyes to look at him.

“Yeah I know,” there was a pause, I knew he had shrugged, he started to talk again, “waiting or were you left?”

“I'm assuming I was left. What about you?” I enquired.

“Can you call it waiting when you are almost positive that you've been left to your own devices?” he answered with a question.

I sighed, “I'm not sure, but if worse comes to worse I'm going to catch the Knight Bus to Diagon Alley and floo from there.”

“Do you mind?” he asked and his foot lightly tapped the left side of my trunk. I was sitting on top of the right side of it and there was plenty of room.

“Go right ahead,” I hadn't moved over a bit so now I could feel his leg brush against my jeans that I had changed into before we pulled into the station.

“That sounds like a good plan but I think I'll wait some more,” there was a hiss sound as he took another drag.

“I'll wait too,” I said. I opened my eyes and sat up a bit, turned and looked at him. He was now the one leaning back against the pillar, eyes closed. His right leg was stretched out, his left leg was bent and pulled towards himself. His left hand was holding onto his cigarette and he was resting that arm on his bent knee. His normally immaculate hair had gotten mussed a bit but nicely so. His tie was loose, his top button undone, and his shirt sleeves were rolled up to the elbow. When he lifted his hand to take a drag, I saw a flash of silver on his hand for what looked like a signet ring. All in all he looked like a male model and it would be easier to ignore him if he didn't smell like an intoxicating combination of spicy aftershave, and smoke. I was starting to get light headed.

“Do you think you're going to miss it?” I asked.

“Miss it?” he asked, questioning the `it'.

“School,” I clarified.

He opened his eyes and looked at me intently. “No,” he turned his head looking away from me, not focusing on anything in particular, “I mean there were a few good times, but I'm actually glad to have gotten that over and done with, there was nothing there that I liked enough to say that I'll miss it. I'm ready for a change.” He turned back and looked at me, “Do you think there's something there worthwhile to miss?”

I flushed a bit, and mumbled, “It's all a matter of personal opinion.”

He nodded, took another drag and flicked his cigarette away. “In your personal opinion then,” he smirked using my phrase, “are you going to miss it?”

“I'm not going anywhere,” I said bitterly, crossing my arms in front of me.

He had gotten another cigarette from a silver case in his pocket, and it was resting between his lips unlit. He moved his right arm to bump into my left, “cheer up and all that shit,” he tilted his head and took his lighter out and lit up, taking another drag he held onto the cigarette as he continued, “seriously though, how do you feel? Are you sad, happy, upset or another of the emotions that are on the menu? You're still going there but the Magnificent Trio is gone, it's the end of an era,” he chuckled to himself, “I feel like we should be toasting.”

I laughed too, “I feel a little sad and lonely, but a little relieved.” He looked at me questioningly. I explained, “Maybe next year will be an uneventful one.”

“Probably will be, since Potter is a jinx and bad things always happen when he's around.”

I should have protested and defended instead I was nodding in agreement and saying, “Now that's something to toast to.”

He frowned at his cigarette; it was dead and had only gotten two drags taken out of it. He flicked it away and reached down to the floor on the other side of my trunk where his robe was on the ground. He pulled out a silver flask; it looked like it was part of a set with the cigarette case. He opened it took a swill and offered it to me, “Care to toast?” his eyes gleamed; there was a defiant challenge there.

“I told you I'm the attention craving rebellious type, “I said taking the flask from him. Instead of cautiously sipping I swilled it back. It burned and I felt like my nose was all stuffed. I coughed and my eyes filled with tears. “Was it hard to bottle that dragons blood?” I said joking as I coughed.

He laughed, patted me on the back. “I thought rebellious girls like you could handle vodka.”

“Quick give me a smoke and a light so I can redeem my bad girl status!” I was laughing now.

He laughed too, then suddenly stopped and stared at me intensely. I was silent too, I returned his stare. If something was going to ever happen it was going to happen now. I edged into his personal space a little.

Just then there was a clang and a chiming over and over, it was noon we had been there for over an hour.

He pulled out a pocket watch; “I think we can say we've been officially…” he was cut off by a shrill voice calling my name and a clamor of noise around it.

I winced; it was my mum and the cavalry. I got up and turned to look at him sitting on my trunk, except he wasn't there. He had gotten up and gone around the other side of the pillar. I could see a bit of his shoulder and leg peeking out from behind the pillar.

I turned away from looking at him towards my mum whose face looked like a tomato with watery eyes. She was apologizing profusely, explaining why. I nodded acknowledging her, “Its ok mum, lets just go home now.”

Ron had grabbed my trunk, and was pulling it quickly towards the barrier, Fred and George had hugged me apologizing too and telling me how they would make it up to me. I laugh at their outrageous suggestions and agreed, walking through the barrier

“Wait! I forgot something, don't leave me this time,” I said laughing, “I'll be right back.” I walked back through the barrier.

The platform looked deserted, even the train wasn't there anymore. I walked to the pillar where I had leaned before, he wasn't there. If someone had been watching me, the only way they could describe my body language was deflated or something to that extent.

“Looking for someone?” his deep voice murmured in my ear. I knew better then to act startled so I turned around calmly. I was eye to eye with his Adam's apple, he was standing that close, and there was only an inch or more between us. His shoes were on either side of mine. “I'm not looking for someone, I remembered that I had left something with someone and I want it back.” I said, tilting my head up to look him in the eye.

His face remained expressionless, but I knew he was trying not to smile. His eyes were twinkling with laughter and around his eyes there were traces of laugh lines appearing. Awhile a go I had been surprised that he had laugh lines but in a few moments time I was convinced that if anyone in the world was going to have laugh lines it would be him.

“Something,” he repeated with emphasis on the `thing'.

I rolled my eyes, “Yes something!” I was starting to get exasperated.

“Maybe I could help you find the missing object, could you please describe it to me, or better yet tell me what it is?” he was smiling now.

“Look I don't have time for this, normally I would love to stop and play games but I have to go!” I wasn't starting to get exasperated now, I was exasperated.

“Ok Miss Pouty Lips,” he said, he was reaching into his back pants pocket, but I didn't notice.

I grinned at the name but quickly remembered it wasn't cute, it was annoying and insulting and he was annoying and insulting! “I'm not pouting,” I said while pouting, without realizing it.

“Yes you are, better keep that tucked in or it will get caught,” he made a nipping motion with his teeth, he leaned towards me.

I recoiled away from him, but he grabbed my forearms and pulled me flush against him. I felt my cheeks burning and I knew I was blushing as red as my hair. “Why Miss Pouty Lips, I do believe you're blushing,” he chuckled.

I tried to wiggle away but I ended up rubbing against him. “Please, let me go, if I take too long they'll come back and look for me and see.” He released one hand to brush away a lock of hair that had come loose from my headband. “I don't really care anymore,” he murmured and leaned down and kissed me.

My eyes closed right away, his hands let go of me and wrapped around my waist, my free arms reached up around his neck.

If you kiss someone but you are embracing them while standing it can be one of the most intimate and frightening things. Not only are you breathing in the same air, moving against each other in wave motions, but you can't tell who's got who. It isn't like one person is the hero rescuing the other person; it's as if you are rescuing each other. But you aren't rescuing them, you're drowning with them. Everything around you is gone, the only taste is them. The only thing you breathe and can smell is them. The only sound is your blood (or is it their blood?) rushing through your veins and a moan. The only thing you feel is them, pressed up against you, wrapped around you. I heard a girl say once “we are so in love it makes me lightheaded.” This girl was either and idiot or was kissed a lot, because unfortunately there is a pesky thing called breathing that people have to do to survive. When you kiss someone you become lightheaded because of lack of oxygen to your brain, however it is nicer and more romantic to say “we are so in love it makes me lightheaded.”

I had to breathe, I wasn't just lightheaded, I was weak kneed, my head felt like if it wasn't supported it would snap off because my neck was sore and limp. I broke the kiss.

Instead of gathering a heaving gasp of air and plunging back into kissing, or slapping him and running, I tucked my head on his shoulder and nuzzled into his neck. He stiffed a bit at first, I squeezed him a little around the middle before relaxing into his embrace. I breathed in deeply again, trying to implant this scent into my brain, spicy aftershave, smoky and a little musky. He squeezed me back, before letting me go. His cheeks were a little flushed from the kissing. He cleared his throat, picked up his robe and grabbed his trunk. He turned to walk to the barrier.

I looked down at my shoes and just stood there. I didn't raise my head and I started to walk in the same direction as him, I felt something lumpy in my back pocket of my jeans. I reached my hand around and pulled it out. It was shiny, emerald green satin, French cut knickers. The pair that had cost me too much money but were worth it. They were my “sexy” knickers. They were the only pair I owned that weren't flowered, pastel or white. I smiled at them. I looked up to see if he was there smirking at me in that arrogant way of his, but he was gone. I made up my mind then.

I ran out off the platform, through the barrier, not carrying how many muggles would be scared by a girl coming out of a wall at a train station.

“Draco, wait!”

He was about ten feet ahead of me, he stopped in his tracks, and he turned and looked at me.

I am now a firm believer that if a person runs fast enough they can practically fly, because I flew towards him and then leaped at him.

He was shocked but then started to laugh, he held me close and just laughed.

“You aren't supposed to return birthday presents,” I chided him quietly, stepping back from his grasp.

He had calmed down his laughing, “They weren't my colour, besides remember you were looking for `something' and you wanted it back and there you go,” he smirked.

“Oh!” I hit his arm gently, “look just… well…I want you to have them,” I looked down at my feet,” you asked me if I would miss anything, well the truth is I'll miss you,” I looked at him when I said this trying to convince him that it was the most honest thing I had ever said to him.

He pulled me against him again, he kissed me on the forehead, “keep them,” he murmured, “maybe I'll see you in them again someday,” he winked slightly.

I giggled and I knew my eyes were tearing up, he hadn't said anything back! I felt so stupid, disappointed, angry and sad.

He coughed and blinked a few times. I hoped it was a sign that he was upset, that he was even slightly disappointed, that he felt anything!

This was the part now when in books when the hero would take his true love in his arms and declare undying love, defying everyone and everything in the world that would ever keep them apart.

But we don't live in books in a fantasy, we all live in the real world.

I took a few steps backwards, trying to remember him, how he was tall, slight in stature, white blonde hair, a mouth that kissed so wonderfully and eyes that showed so many different emotions to me. He was so beautiful, it hurt. There was a weight on my chest, it hurt because he was going and he wasn't mine, he never would be. He didn't care, he wouldn't miss me.

He leaned down to pick up his trunk handle, his eyes locked with mine as he stood up, he smiled.

“I'll miss you too Ginny.”

The weight lifted, and I smiled back.

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The Truth Is

1. The Truth Is

2. Author's Note