Contradictions

Contradictions

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Pleasure and pain...

I lay here in bed, heart racing as immense pain and dull aches once again wrack through my body. I stare at the ironic pairing of porcelain figures perched on my dresser across the room; a small, brown-eyed common field mouse, and looming protectively behind it, a large black dragon with ferocious silver eyes and sharp ivory teeth bared as if to eat anything that came too near. Focusing on these animals is supposed to help me concentrate and meditate through the pain, but all it serves to do is bring to the forefront how my life has been full of immense contradictions.

Past and future...

The outside world always saw plain little Ginny as a strong, sweet, and wholesome girl who had lived through more than her share of tragedy. I mourned the deaths of three of my brothers and both my parents, and yes, I also mourned the loss of Harry when he decided to give up the wizarding world and move to muggle Australia after the defeat of Voldemort. It was almost like losing another brother, but the living must continue, because life, whether we want it to or not, does go on.

After the war, I lived alone in a small studio apartment in Hogsmeade. Since the Burrow had been destroyed, and my remaining brothers were all off rebuilding their own lives, I had wanted to be near the only other home I'd ever known. From the wide windows of my loft, the view of Hogwarts and the pristine mountains behind it, was a soothing balm to my shattered heart and frayed nerves. Many a day I would derive peace and serenity from this treasured scene, and sit and paint, or write for hours. In this, I found a way to support myself by creating children's books filled with magical weasels and a little rumpled hedgehog.

Life was finally safe to live, and my soul began to heal.

Love and hate...

I kept to myself, and lived a quiet life...that is until Draco Malfoy started to visit. At first it was just out of duty. He was an Auror, and since my dad had been a Ministry official and had died in the line of duty, the Ministry made sure to keep a check on how the family was doing. I didn't question why a high ranking Auror would take on the menial task of visiting me once a week to see if I needed anything, I just assumed he was being a typical prat wanting to gloat that he'd come through the war brilliantly and with his fortune intact. I knew he'd betrayed his Death-eater family and became a double agent for Dumbledore. He'd been the one who provided all the crutial secrets and information that had enabled Harry and his group of Aurors to kill Voldemorte once and for all. Without him, there's no telling how many more lives would have been lost, or the war would have ended...and Draco had never let anyone forget that either.

However, my assumption as to the purpose of his showing up at my door every Friday afternoon at precisely three 'o clock, had been quite wrong.

His first visits were short, cordial, and surprisingly, almost friendly. As time went on, I came to realize that he'd lost everyone in the war, either to death or to Azkaban, and he was really just wanting to be near someone familiar...even if that someone happened to be a Weasley.

Plain and beautiful...

We were an odd pair. One light, elegant, and refined, in robes that were always of the highest quality and hung upon his tall lean frame in custom-tailored perfection. I on the other hand, had hair that shown like a beacon in any crowd, I almost always had paint and ink smudged on my hands, and my only requirement when choosing clothing was total comfort. The dresses I wore were long and soft, with no fuss.

Both of us, comfortable in our own skins, but as different from each other as...well... Malfoys and Weasleys.

Friends and lovers...

The change in our relationship was slow and subtle. It began with cookies. I baked plain old no frills sugar cookies to go with tea, and progressed into full fledged dinners we spent hours making, with exotic desserts, and conversations that lasted into the wee hours of the morning.

He kissed me six months after his first visit. It was the second anniversary of the attack on the Burrow in which my mother had been killed. We stood out on the small balcony off my kitchen, and in the pale moonlight he held me as I cried. His lips were soft and gentle, not demanding, just seeking to reassure me that I was alive and not alone.

Innocent and unclean...

He made love like silk. Gentle, smooth, slow...and cool. He treated me like a princess, fragile, like glass. He held back. Afraid to let go. Afraid of hurting me. Afraid of his past. After questioning, he admitted that he felt unworthy and unclean. There had been other women; women who had meant nothing more than a fast way to briefly forget himself as he delved into depravation and debauchery. He said my spirit was pure and though he wasn't unselfish enough to leave me, he would at least treat me with the respect I deserved.

After much planning, and with the help of some sturdy silk scarves, a cup of ice, and some melted chocolate, I rid him of such evil ideas and embarked on a varied and fulfilling life with Draco Malfoy.

Good and evil...

Rich and poor...

Malfoy and Weasley...

Our mere names had always been a contradiction. Malfoy, the beautiful, the rich, the powerful, and, at one time, the evil. And Weasley, well, what's to say about us Weasley's? Red-headed, freckled, poor, muggle-loving, and no influence what-so-ever. Our families had hated each other for a thousand years. Exactly what started the feud has long been forgotten, but it perpetuated and propagated throughout the years and, during my time at Hogwarts, it reached prolific proportions. But, whatever it was that started the hate, big or small, it was all irrelevant now.

Pain and Pleasure...

They say that one cannot exist without the other; that pain can enhance the intensity of the pleasure to a euphoric level, and once achieved, the pain is but a wisp of memory.

I lay here on the bed, breathing finally slowing...but heart still racing.

Laying here, in my husband's arms counting ten small fingers and ten tiny toes, the pain is forgotten, and the pleasure is immeasurable.

We are complete.

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This is my first venture out of GW and into the HP fandom... I really hope it doesn't suck too bad.

Thanks for reading!

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