Dear Diary by HarrysOneAndOnly

Rating: NC17
Genres: Drama, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 30/04/2005
Last Updated: 31/08/2005
Status: Completed

Hermione is keeping a diary and Harry is determined to find out what she wants to keep secret.
What he finds out will change everything.




1. Dear Diary
-------------



Hey everyone! Just wanted to let you know that this is my first ever attempt at fanfic. Also my
first attempt at anything rated NC17. So any constructive criticism is welcome, but please be kind.
I have a fragile ego.

Disclaimer: Characters belong to JK Rowling. I can only dream. . .

This is dedicated to my dear friend Laura who is even more obsessed with all things fanfic than
I am and who encouraged me to write this!

On with the story already!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

*Dear Diary,*

*I had one of my dreams again last night. In this one, he comes into my room, silently climbs
into bed with me, and makes sweet, sensual love to me all night long. Wow, was it steamy! But BAD!
VERY BAD! Hermione Granger cannot be having sex dreams about her best friend Harry Potter! This
cannot be happening! But I don't know how to stop the dreams from happening. Do I really want
them to stop happening? Of course I do! Don't I?*

“Hermione? Earth to Hermione?”

His all to familiar voice broke through her intense concentration. She slammed her diary
shut.

“Oh, Hi Harry. What's going on?” Hermione said, a little flushed at being caught writing in
her diary by the very person she was writing about. *I hope he didn't see anything I've
been writing!*

“I thought we were going to meet in the Library. Remember? We were supposed to study for our
Potions N.E.W.Ts exam tomorrow.” Harry said, clearly annoyed. “When you didn't show up, we went
looking for you.”

“We were a little worried.” Said Ron.

Hermione hadn't even noticed Ron was standing next to Harry until he spoke. She smiled an
apologetic smile, “Sorry! I wasn't hungry for lunch, so I stayed here in the Common Room to
read a little, but I guess I got a little distracted.” She hurriedly shoved some books into her
bag. She held her breath to see if her apology had been accepted.

“Lets go before someone snags your table.” Harry said, grinning with a hint of sarcasm in his
voice. She exhaled. He winked at her as she passed him heading out the porthole. Her breath caught
again.

How was it that the girl known for her discipline and self-control could let a boy make her
crazy like Harry was making her? It wasn't just the fact that he winked at her, Ron winked at
her all the time as well, but Ron never sent shivers up her spine every time he did so. It was his
smile, the way he ran his fingers through that messy mop of hair when he was nervous, the way he
laughed at her when she was trying to be serious and failing miserably. All of Harry's. .
.Harry-isms made her stomach flip-flop and her heart skip a beat. All of this was driving her
crazy. She was acting like a silly, ditzy schoolgirl. Why, oh why, did she have to be in love with
her best friend?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Walking down the corridor towards the library, Harry couldn't help steal curious glances at
Hermoine. In their seven years at Hogwarts, he had never known her to miss a study meeting or to
loose track of time like that. But lately, she had become more and more spacey. She would forget
things, get distracted easily; like in Potions the other day, she accidentally mixed powdered
vampire fang with witches hazel instead of wizards hazel and nearly melted her cauldron. It was one
of the very few times Hermione ever got points taken away from Gryffindor in stead of adding
points.

Also around this time, Harry had noticed Hermione had taken to writing in a journal of some
sort. He knew it wasn't homework or class related because it was in a muggle notebook, not like
any of the books you would see around school.

Every time he turned around, there she was, writing away in it. He had found her just now curled
up next to the fire in her favorite armchair with it in her lap.

He sighed. The more he thought about it, the more interested he became in what she was writing
about. What was so bad or so great that she couldn't tell him, her best friend? They had always
talked about everything!

“You all right?” Hermione was looking at him with a concerned expression.

“Umm. . .yeah, why?” Harry answered, trying to act casual.

“You looked like you wanted to punch something. . .your Potions textbook perhaps?” She said,
cracking a smile.

“Oh, you know how much I *love* Potions.” Harry said sarcastically, breathing a sigh of
relief that she wasn't able to read his mind. *Quit thinking about Hermione and that silly
diary of hers and concentrate on your N.E.W.Ts exam!* Harry chastised himself.

He had no idea why this was bothering him, but he forced himself to concentrate on studying. He
had enough worries for the time being with Snape trying to fail him, even with the second highest
marks in the class, thanks to Hermione. So he put the secrets in the diary in the back of his mind,
for now.

-->



2. Dear Diary
-------------



Many thanks to everyone who reviewed my first chapter! You all inspired me to sit down and write
chapter 2 today, so here it is!

Chapter 3 should come soon.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Hermione. Hermione!” Lavender barked as she shook Hermione awake.

“Wha. . .huh? What happened?” Hermione mumbled.

“You slept through your alarm and you've got twenty minutes before the exam!” Lavender
screeched, as she tripped trying to get her shoes on. “Hurry, I'll only wait for you for ten
minutes!”

“BLOODY HELL! I can't believe I did this!” Hermione groaned. She dressed in record time, not
bothering to look in the mirror. She gathered her book bag and dashed out the door with
Lavender.

They arrived in the dungeon with five minutes to spare. Snape was up at his desk talking with a
student when they walked in. He didn't even acknowledge they had arrived. *Whew! Close
one!* Hermione sighed internally.

“You know you were dreaming again.” Lavender giggled when she saw the look of shock and dread
cross Hermione's face. “You had a huge smile on your face and you were moaning and sighing like
you were having the best shag of your life!” Lavender whispered once they had taken their
seats.

“WHAT!?” Hormone almost screamed, getting the attention of some students around them and making
Snape give them an annoyed glare. Hermione felt her face turn crimson and her heart drop to her
stomach.

“Shh! Oh yeah, it was hilarious! I was getting hot just listening to you. You know that this is
the third morning in the last two weeks I've woken up to that.” Lavender giggled, trying to
refrain from laughing out loud.

Hermione felt like she wanted to hide. Someone had found out her secret. *Please tell me I
didn't say his name out loud! Please! I know in my dreams I shouted his name over and over. I
will just die if Lavender knows who I have dreams about! She can't know. Can she?* Her
question was answered not a second later.

“So when are you going to tell me who you're dreaming about? Is it someone here at Hogwarts?
Someone in Gryffindor? Ooooh, this is SO scandalous!” Lavender gushed, startling to get a little
too loud.

*Thank Merlin! I almost had a heart attack!* “I'm not going to tell you, that's
none of your business!” Hermione whispered back.

“Oh come on! We're friends, that's what friends do! We've got each other's backs
and we gossip about who we fantasize about.” Lavender pleaded.

“No! I know we are friends, but I also know that, and don't take offence to this, I know
that if I tell you then it will be all over the school by lunch time.” Hermione said.

“Please? Hermione, come on. Please? Please? Plea. . .” Hormone fazed Lavender out once she saw
who walked in the door.

Harry sauntered in, Ron in tow, and made his way over to his cauldron. Hermione had never been
one to admire from afar, but she had never felt this way about anyone in her life. Of course, she
had crushes on boys, including Vicktor and Seamus, but none of them were Harry. Even when she had
crushes on those boys, she found herself comparing them to Harry. She didn't know what it was
about Harry, but something about him made her throw the rational part of her conscious out the
window and the voice in her head fade away. Whenever she was around him, it took what was left of
her self control to keep from running her hands through his raven black hair or gaze deeply into
those emerald green eyes. Whenever they were apart, he was all she could think about. She hated
this because it distracted her from her studies, but she loved it because she knew that only Harry
could make her forget about studying.

Lavender must have seen the look on her face, and the person who she was staring at, because a
few seconds later Hermione was shaken out of her temporary haze. “HOLY SHIT! Are you kidding me?
You are telling me that. . .” Lavender was cut off.

“SHH! You say one word to anyone I will hex you into the next century. And you know I can too!”
Lavender threw up her hands in surrender, giggling hysterically. “I really don't want to talk
about this now, Snape is about to pass out the exam and I don't want this on my mind while I
take one of the most important exams of my life.” Hermione hissed as she turned around in her
chair, only to come face to face with Harry. “Oh!”

“Hey Hermione. What don't you want on your mind?” He greeted her with a slightly confused
smile.

“Oh, umm. . .just, uh. . .our Charms exam tomorrow. Yeah. I want to be totally focused on this
test so I can complete it and then focus on Charms.” Hermione stated. *Oh man, that was a close
one. Why is he looking at me like that? He looks like I just kicked his puppy. Don't think
about him. Concentrate on Potions. Potions. Potions!*

“Alright. Well, good luck, not that you need it Oh, and you know that you hair is sticking
strait up on that side. What happened? Got dressed in the dark?” He gave a slight smile and another
wink and turned around just as Snape tapped the blackboard and the recipe for a potion appeared.
Hermione gasped, attempted to smooth out her hair, and then glared at Lavender as to say *You let
me go out like this? You let HIM see me like this?*

The second she finished her exam, which took longer than it should have because of the
distraction she dreamed about last night, she ran back to Gryffindor tower, retrieved her diary
from the locked drawer in her nightstand, and went to find a quiet place to write. She knew that
lunch didn't start for another thrity minutes, and she hadn't had anything to eat since
yesterday, so she headed towards the Great Hall so she would be sure she didn't miss another
meal.

She sat down in their usual place at the Gryffindor table and pulled out the notebook and
quill.

*Dear Diary,*

*I cant believe that it happened again. In this dream, Harry took me up to the Astronomy tower
and gave me the best shag of my life. Well, yes. . .I am still a virgin, but that's what
Lavender said I sounded like when she woke me up this morning. She said that I was moaning and
gasping in my sleep and she knew that I was having a sex dream. It was so embarrassing! And then
she found out whom they were about once she caught me staring at Harry. I can't be more
mortified. Well, yes I could.* HE *could know about my dreams and my feelings for him. I
can't concentrate around him, I can't speak around him, and I can't think about
anything but him whenever he's not around. Why do I feel this way? I shouldn't feel this
way! I don't know how I'm ever going to be able to look him in the eye!*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

As Harry strode into the Great Hall for lunch, he automatically spotted her sitting by herself.
As he got closer, he realized that she was once again writing away in her diary. She was completely
consumed with whatever she was writing and Harry noticed that she was biting her lip. He smiled
remembering the hundreds of times he had glanced across the table in the library and seen her make
that face. He loved the familiarity of that face. But something just felt different this time. He
shrugged it off and walked on over.

“Hope you're writing nice things about me.” He said as he slid onto the bench across from
her. This startled her and the second she looked up, he saw panic in her eyes as she slammed the
notebook shut and hid it away in her bag.

“Hermione, are you alright?” Harry asked, a look of hurt and confusion flashed across his
face.

“Of course, Harry. You just scared me. You know, you shouldn't sneak up on people like
that.” Hermione gave one of her killer smiles and reached for a roll and some carrot sticks. He
didn't know why, but something in the pit of his stomach tightened when she smiled.

“No, I mean, lately. You've been very jumpy and you wont talk to me. Is there something
bothering you?” Harry asked.

“Why would you ask that, Harry. I'm just fine, but I guess I'm just a little stressed
about the N.E.W.Ts.” She wasn't looking him in the eye. He knew something was up.

“You sure? Because you know that you can trust me with whatever is going on.” He said, reaching
over and touching her arm. He could have sworn she blushed but then she jerked away and
straightened up.

“Yes, Harry. I know.” She said, not looking him in the eyes. “Better hurry up and eat. We have
Charms to study for this afternoon.” She said, changing the subject.

“Don't remind me!” Harry sighed, accepting the fact that Hermione didn't want to talk to
him about what was bothering her, at least for now. *I've got to find a way to get her to
talk to me. Why is this bothering me so much? Its probably something silly like who she has a crush
on and she's embarrassed to tell me who it is. But why wouldn't she want me to know?
Hormone has never liked a guy before and not told me. She has always been comfortable telling me
these things, why would this be any different? Of course none of her relationships ever lasted too
long. No one was ever good enough for my Hermione. Wait. . .what am I saying?* MY *Hermione?
Where did that come from?*

Just then, Ron sauntered in, plopped down, and stuck a handful of chips in his mouth.

“Can you believe that by this time tomorrow, we will be done with N.E.W.Ts and we can
celebrate?! How `bout it, guys? The three of us celebrate down at the Three Broomsticks tomorrow
night?” He said excitedly with a mouth full of chips.

“That would be wonderful! Can't wait!” Hermione beamed. “Better hurry and eat boys. I'll
meet you in the library.” And with that, she walked out of the Great Hall.

-->



3. Dear Diary
-------------

Yay! Chapter 3 is here! Even though it's kinda short, it will reveal a lot about both Harry
and Hermione.

I know that a few of you had responded to say that you were confused b/c I would randomly change
from 3rd to 1st person and back to 3rd, but its because the program that transfers my Word Doc. To
HTML wont transfer italics. Anything in 1st person was supposed to be in italics so you know that
it was the character's thoughts, so I'm working on it and until I figure it out I am just
going to put single quote marks ( 'blah blah' ) When I get the time, I'll go back and
fix the first 2 chapters.

Anyway, on with the sexual tension!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dear Diary,

Its 3 AM and I've just woken up from the HOTTEST dream I've had about Harry yet. We are
in the Charms classroom and I am tutoring him. And with every answer he gets correct, I take off a
piece of clothing until I am standing there completely naked. Then he strips down, clears off the
teacher's desk and takes me right there. Oh man, I am getting hot just thinking about all the
things he did to me. But today he was acting kinda weird. I think he thinks something is wrong or
I'm keeping something from him because he kept asking me what was wrong or if I had anything to
say to him. Technically, I am keeping something from him. Anyway. . .while we studied this
afternoon in the library, he kept asking me personal questions. I don't know what's gotten
into him lately. Oh well, I guess I should get to sleep so I don't pass out during Charms exam
tomorrow. Good night.

The Charms exam came and went fairly easily for Hermione. She wish she could say the same for
her two best friends, but she had stayed up with them until the library closed helping them and she
felt that they were as prepared as they were ever going to be.

But again, the exam took a little longer than it should have for Hermione because her mind kept
drifting back to the dream she had the night before. The dream that had taken place in this exact
room. She could picture it. She had to force herself to think of Snape in women's knickers to
prevent herself from getting worked up. Even at lunch later she had to be careful not to let her
mind wander, especially with Harry sitting directly across from her. She could smell his
shampoo.

“Don't forget, we'll meet in the common room at 6 to head into Hogsmede. Hagrid is going
to meet us in front of the castle. He wanted to join in the celebration. He said he'd buy us a
couple of Butterbeers!” Ron was talking a mile a minute all the way up to the dormitories after
lunch.

“Whoa, slow down mate. You're going to run outta air!” Harry said, laughing. Hermione
noticed the way his emerald eyes lighted up when he laughed like that. Oh, how she loved his
eyes.

“Sorry, Harry. I'm just so excited that exams are over and I cant wait for tonight!!
Chocolate Frog!” He added the password as the approached the portrait of the Fat Lady.

As they climbed into the Common Room, Hermione yawned and said, “Well, I am going to go take a
nap. Hardly slept a wink last night. Got to rest up for tonight!” She gave the boys a smile and a
wink as she headed up the spiral staircase to her room.

Finally, solitude. And she knew just what she wanted, no, needed to do (if you know what I
mean).

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Harry noticed that Hermione had looked flushed all day. Like she was remembering something
embarrassing and kept reliving it over and over in her head. He had even heard her sigh with
frustration during the exam and when he looked over at her, he saw that she wasn't even looking
at her parchment. He had caught her eye and she instantly looked away and pretended that she was
staring out the window. 'I don't get her. I wish I knew what was going on. She looks so
frustrated and uncomfortable. But she is in her element. She's never been this discouraged
during an exam. It has to be something else. I hate to see her like this and I have to do
something.'

He couldn't wait until he could get her out of the castle that night so he could get her to
relax. Maybe he could get her to talk to him now that the stress of finals was over.

After Hermione left him and Ron in the Common Room to take a nap, the two boys headed out to the
Quidditch pitch to relieve some stress by taking their brooms and soaring high above the
grounds.

“Can you believe that we are leaving this place in just a few days?” Ron said as they hovered,
taking in the view.

“No. . .” Harry trailed off. His mind was somewhere else.

Ron looked at Harry, expecting more of an answer. Seeing the look in Harry's eye, Ron sighed
a knowing sigh and chuckled. “Who is she?”

“What. . .? Who is who?” Harry mumbled.

“The girl you're thinking about.” Ron smiled. He'd seen this look before. But he knew
that his crush on Cho had long since fizzled out, as had the crush on Lavender, that one girl in
Ravenclaw, and Ginny. But this had to be someone new and special because he had a different look in
his eye.

“Oh, I was just thinking about Hermione and how…” Harry was interrupted by a loud gasp
followed by thunderous laughter.

“HERMIONE? You're. . .thinking about. . .Hermione?” Ron said in between hysterics.

“Yeah, well she's been very distracted lately and I'm trying to figure out why she's
upset.” Harry said, obviously confused by Ron's reaction.

Ron was calming down and waited until he caught his breath before he spoke again. “I was
wondering when it was going to happen.”

“What do you mean?” Harry asked, now very confused. Ron just got a knowing smile on his face and
soared off, heading back towards the broom shed. Harry started after him, “Wait, Ron! What are you
talking about?” No answer, just laughing. “RON!”



4. Dear Diary
-------------

Hey kids! Here's Chapter 4! Yay!

But it might be a little while before chapter 5 comes out. I know, I know. . . 'WHAT? How
can you keep us hanging like this?' These next two weeks are filled with final projects and
finals so I might be a little busy. But I promise to spend every free second on the next chapter.
Please don't hate me!

I have truly appreciated everyone's comments! I was so afraid that this was really corny and
stupid (even though it probably is, thanks for not rubbing it in my face!).

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dear Diary,

Some nap that was! I had another dream, but this one was much different. Harry and I were
talking by the fireplace in the Common Room. The whole time, he is scooting closer and closer to me
until there is almost no room between us. He looks into my eyes, caresses my cheek, and kisses me.
It's the sweetest kiss in history! After he pulls away, he whispers, “I love you, Hermione.” Oh
bloody hell! He never said anything like that in any of the other dreams. What does that mean? I
know that when I dream of shagging him, I know its just an unfulfilled desire, but what does it
mean when the object of my desire actually says “I love you”? I don't know how I'm going to
be able to keep my composure tonight. I think I'm going crazy! I definitely need a drink.

They met in the Common Room at six sharp. They were all wearing muggle clothes under their
robes. Hermione had spent forty-five minutes trying to decide what to wear and had finally decided
on black pants and a flowy pink top that Lavender had leant her (“It'll make Harry drool!”) It
was something she definitely wouldn't have picked out herself. It was very girly and hugged
Hermione's curves perfectly. Ron sported his grungy khakis and a red Quidditch polo. Hermione
thought that Harry looked amazing in his jeans and crisp white button-down shirt. Harry was no
longer the scrawny eleven year-old boy she'd met seven years ago. Quidditch helped him fill
out, but not too much, and had given him toned muscles that were usually hidden under his robes.
'Wow, he looks amazing!'

“Hermione?” His voice broke through her thoughts. She had been staring. She felt her face grow
warm and knew she was blushing terribly.

“Wha. . .? Sorry, I just woke up.” She lied. “What did you say?”

Harry chuckled. “I said you look really nice tonight.” 'Is Harry blushing?' She thought.
'Nah, must be the light from the fireplace.'

Ron stifled a laugh and Hermione gave him a curious look as she said, “Thanks.”

“Ready to go?” asked Harry, who was glaring at Ron, and then quickly smiled at Hermione once she
caught him doing so.

“More than you know, mate.” Ron whooped. And they set off through the halls and down the grand
staircase and out the front doors of the castle.

“'Allo there, 'Arry! Ron. 'Ermione.” Hagrid waved as they exited the huge doors into
the early evening air.

“Hey, Hagrid.” The three friends resounded. As they walked down the path towards Hogsmede, they
told Hagrid about finals.

Hermione took a deep breath and exhaled. She had a funny feeling that something was going to
happen tonight.

~*~*~*~*~

She did look nice tonight. Very nice. 'Snap out of it, Potter! This is Hermione you're
checking out. Its like you are noticing she's a woman for the first time in your life. But I
can't help it. There's just something different about her tonight.'

They finally reached Hogsmede and sauntered into the Three Broomsticks. They picked a table near
the back and ordered their dinners. “I'm buyin' the first round of butterbeers!” Hagrid
told the barmaid.

During dinner, they talked about summer plans and career goals. Harry listened intently as
Hermione gushed about her plans to work as a Librarian assistant for 2 years while also being
trained to take over Professor McGonnagal's position as Transfiguration professor. Minerva was
planning on retiring, but everyone knew that she would end up being the next Headmistress. Ron
talked about being recruited by England's premier Quidditch team. Then Harry proceeded to tell
the others about his plans to begin Auror training.

As the night went on, one or two butterbeers turned into one or two firewhiskeys and then into
four or five. Harry's mind was racing and seemed to be in an argument with itself. 'Damn!
Hermione really looks good! I love it when she smiles at me like that! She touched my hand! Now
she's laughing at my joke. It really wasn't that funny. But I love her laugh. I love the
way she throws her head back when she laughs. She's so beautif. . . Stop thinking about her!
No! Yes! You're drunk and you don't know what's going on. Bugger off!'

Hagrid had long ago wandered off to talk to some patrons at the bar. Left alone, the
conversation turned interesting.

“So, Harry. . .?” Ron slurred, getting a devilish look on his face.

'Oh shit. This cant be good.' Harry thought. “Hmm?”

“When are you going to tell Hermione that you have a crush on her?” Ron asked, breaking out into
hysterics.

Harry was speechless. Hermione gasped and then tried to hide her embarrassment by laughing a
little. Then she too grew silent. Harry could have sworn that he saw her blush.

“Oh come on, mate! We're all friends here! You make it so obvious! It's not like its
Hermione cares. She's got her nose either in a book or that diary so much these days, she
probably hasn't even noticed.” Ron yelled and broke into another fit of loud laughter.

“Ron, shut up” Harry hissed. He looked over at Hermione. She looked shocked and on the verge of
tears. “Don't listen to him, 'Mione. He's just a drunk prat.” She wouldn't look him
in the eye; she just looked at her lap. That look of joy that was so evident on her face just
moments before was suddenly gone. Something in his chest tightened. He hated to see her so
upset.

“Hermione. . .” Harry started.

“I have to go.” She said quietly. She left without another word and without looking either of
them in the face.

“'Ermione! Where she going?” Ron giggled.

“You idiot! Look what you did. She's never going to speak to us again thanks to you and your
big mouth!” Harry was angry.

“Calm down. I knew that you were never going to say it, so someone else should. You know,
I've known that this would happen someday. It was bound to happen. I'm surprised it took
this long.” Ron said.

“What are you talking about?” Harry growled.

“You falling in love with Hermione.” Harry was once again rendered speechless. “Yup. I knew it.
It took you a while, though, mate. She's been in love with you for years now.”

“WHAT?” Harry was snapped out of his thoughts.

“Oh, yeah. I spotted a mile away!” Ron boasted finishing off his last shot. “Well, I'm
trashed and I know that if we stay any longer we're not going to make it back to the castle, so
lets go.”

Harry couldn't believe his ears. 'Hermione? In love with me? I had no clue. Of course
you wouldn't have known, you just noticed that she was a woman earlier this evening. But is it
ALL true? Could she be in love with me? And more importantly, could I be in love with her?'

They stood up, placed their tab money on the table and gathered their robes. Just then, Harry
noticed Hermione's bag. She never went anywhere without her book bag. Of course now there were
no school books in there, but as Harry picked it up, he noticed that there was at least one book in
it. He opened the bag and pulled out Hermione's diary.

“Holy cricket! Is that. . .? It is! Give it here!” Ron said reaching for the notebook in
Harry's hand. But Harry pulled it out of his reach.

“There is no way we can read this. This is Hermione's private diary. We are her friends and
we shouldn't break her trust in us, or what little is left after tonight.” Harry said, placing
the notebook back in the bag. And with that they headed out into the early summer night.

The walk home for Harry was filled with “what if's” and “maybe's”. His mind couldn't
stop racing. She looked so good tonight and he couldn't help smiling when he thought about the
way she smiled at him and laughed at his jokes. He wanted to read the diary so he could find out if
what Ron said was real or if she really had a crush on someone else. He wanted to find out why she
had left in such a hurry.

'Why do I care? Why do I keep asking myself this question? I care. . .I care because I care
about her. But does that mean I love her? I care because she's always been there for me and now
it's my turn to be there for her. I want to help her. I want to be the one to comfort her. I
want. . .Oh Bloody Hell. . .I want her! I want to hold her and kiss her and make sure she's
alright and never let go! I am such a prat! Hell! I have no idea what to do now!'

Once back to the Common Room, he went strait up to his room, while Ron passed out on one of the
couches. He sad on his bed, turning the little notebook over and over in his hands. 'What am I
supposed to do with this? I really shouldn't read it. . .but I have to know the truth. NO! Bad
Harry!' He reprimanded himself. He threw the book into his side table drawer and locked it.
I'll give it to her tomorrow.

He saw awake almost all night. All he could think about was Hermione and that bloody diary. All
of a sudden something snapped inside him and he reached over, unlocked the drawer, pulled out the
book, and opened to the first page. What he read, he could hardly believe.



5. untitled
-----------



Hey kids! I'm back!

I don't know how good this chapter is…I wrote it at 3 AM after my last final. Comments are
welcome.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

*Bloody hell! My head!* Hermione opened one eye and groaned as the morning sunlight poured
in the window across from her bed. She groaned even louder as she tried to sit up.

“Good morning!” Lavender said cheerfully, entering the bedroom in her bathrobe. “Finally getting
up I see.”

“Shhh! Head. Hurt. Nauseous.” Hermione growled at Lavender.

Lavender giggled as she conjured a glass of sobriety potion for her hungover friend and gave it
to her. “Drink this, it will make you feel better.”

“Thanks.” She sipped the concoction and slowly got up and dressed in sweats. She was in no mood
to make herself look presentable. She ran a brush tenderly through her hair, which seemed to make
her migraine throb even more, and sat down on her bed to wait for Lavender to finish getting
ready.

“Oh, honey. You've got to tell me everything that happened last night. You must have had so
much fun. I want to hear every detail!” The look on Hermione's face indicated that the memory
of the previous night was not making her feel any better. “What? Did something happen?”

“You could say that.” Hermione groaned.

“Tell me everything.” Lavender said sounding very concerned.

“Well. We all got very very drunk.” Hermione started

“Obviously.” Lavender chuckled. Hermione did not look amused. “Sorry. Continue.”

“And then Ron decided to be the biggest prat in the world and just announce to the whole world
that Harry should tell me that he has a crush on me.” Hermione said angrily.

“He what?” Lavender's eyes were the size of saucers.

“Yeah, and when Harry didn't say anything . . .like he had anything to say . . .Ron kept
going on saying that I had always been in love with Harry but never noticed that he liked me back
because my nose was always in a book or in my . . .my . . .Oh shit!” Hermione jumped up and
stumbled over to her bedside table.

“That jerk! I'll hex that Ron Weasley into the next millennium! Hermione. What are you
doing?” Lavender asked.

“My diary. Where is it?” Hermione said searching through the drawer she usually kept it in.

“You write in a diary?” Lavender snickered. “Should have guessed.”

“Shit. Shit. Double shit!” Hermione frantically searched her side of the room and then proceeded
to looking under Lavender's bed. “WHERE IS IT?!?!” she yelped.

“I'm sure its somewhere. We'll find it later, breakfast is starting and I'm
starving.” She said heading towards the stairwell.

“No, Lav, you don't understand. I write everything in this diary. *EVERYTHING*!!”
Hermione cried. Lavender was obviously not catching the hint, so she continued. “I have written
everything about *HIM.”* Her voice was almost a whisper.

Lavender's eyes grew wide. “Him? As in Harry?”

“Shh! Yes, him. And by everything, I mean everything.” Hermione whined.

“The dreams?” Lavender asked sadly.

All Hermione could do was nod. She felt like crying. She knew that she had poured her soul out
into that notebook. If anyone ever read it, her life would be exposed. And she knew that she would
end up the talk of the whole school in no time. The Hogwarts grapevine was notorious. *At least I
am leaving this place in a few days. Maybe after a few years no one will remember the girl who had
sex dreams about the famous Harry Potter.*

“It can't be that bad. You must have put some charms on it to prevent anyone to read it.”
Lavender said matter-of-factly. Hermione just groaned and plopped down on her bed. “You didn't
put charms on it? Hermione! This isn't like you.”

“I know. I guess I just didn't think.” The words sounded funny as they came out of her
mouth. *There's a first, Granger. You not thinking something to death is like Snape giving no
homework. Never happens.* “I guess that all logic goes out the window when it comes to him.” She
sighed.

Lavender came and sat down next to her on her bed and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.
“I'm sure it will turn up somewhere. And unless its Malfoy, whoever finds it will return it
safely.” She said soothingly.

“I'd like to believe you.” Hermione sighed again. *My life is over. Someone will read my
deepest thoughts and dreams and the whole school will know and my life as I know it is over.
Shit.*

“You need to get something in your stomach. It will make you feel better. Lets go down to
breakfast and maybe someone will have already found it. Later we can retrace your footsteps and see
if we can locate it ourselves.” Lavender said and both the girls slowly ambled down towards the
Great Hall.

~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Harry hadn't slept all night. His head throbbed from all the alcohol, no sleep, and the
startling secret he had uncovered. *I thought that nothing could surprise me after all I'd
been through the past seven years. I guess I was wrong.*

“Harry? Holy shit! What happened last night?” Ron sat up on his elbows, squinting at the bright
sunlight. Harry quickly hid the notebook under his pillow. He was in the middle of reading through
it for the umpteenth time, trying to convince himself that maybe it was just a dream.

“I don't remember much myself, but I remember you being the biggest prat in history.” Harry
frowned recalling the night before.

“Huh? What did I do?” Ron asked. Harry couldn't tell if he was confused or mad at his
comment.

“After too many drinks, you decided to tell Hermione that I had a crush on her and then said
that she had been in love with me forever. She got upset and left.” At this Ron groaned and plopped
back down and pulled the covers over his head. “Yeah, smooth move Casanova.”

“I'm sorry, Harry. You know that I cant control what I say when I get fire whiskey in me. I
just say what I'm thinking.” Ron's voice was muffled through the blankets.

“I know. But why were you thinking that? Why were you thinking about Hermione and me?” Harry
asked, slowly swinging his legs over the side of the bed, wincing as he gingerly leaned over to
where his wand lay on the table and conjured two cups of sobriety potion.

“Harry. You can't say that you haven't noticed the way she looks at you.” Ron said,
pulling the blankets away from his head and accepting the potion from Harry. “Its completely
obvious.”

“I seriously had no idea.” *Until now,* Harry thought. As he got dressed his mind turned
back to the diary. *No wonder she didn't want me to see what she was writing. No wonder she
didn't want to talk to me. I have been so concerned that she was hiding something horrible, I
never thought to think that it would be something this . . . this . . .*

“And *you*, you know that you are secretly in love with her too. You have been forever, but
you probably didn't realize it.” Ron said, smiling at the look on Harry's face.

*. . .wonderful!* Harry finished his thought. He was smiling from ear to ear. *Hermione
is in love with me! I can hardly believe it!*

Harry drank down the rest of his sobriety potion and felt it almost instantly relieve a lot of
his aches and pains that come along with a hangover. Ideas began swirling around in his head.
“I've got to talk to her.” He said, dashing towards the door. Then he thought of the diary,
retrieved it from under his pillow and started out the door again.

“Wait, Harry! Is that what I think it is?” Ron said, jumping out of bed, then wincing at the
sensation in his head from standing up too fast.

“Yeah, its her diary.” Harry said, staring at it in his hands as though it was a precious
artifact.

“Where'd you get . . . Oh! I remember now. She left it at the Three Broomsticks.” Ron said,
wide-eyed.

“Yeah, I have to go return it to her. She'd be at breakfast by now.” Harry said.

“Tell me you didn't read it.” Ron said suspiciously. Harry didn't reply. “Harry! I cant
believe you read it!”

Harry just blushed and looked at his feet.

“Well, come on, mate! What did it say!” Ron gave Harry a mischievous smile.

Harry laughed. “Sorry, Ron, but I cant tell you. But lets just say that it shed a lot of light
on the situation.” And with that, he was out the door and heading towards the Great Hall.

-->



6. Dear Diary
-------------



Hey everyone! Finally Chapter 6 is done! Chapter 7 should be up soon.

I have gone back and rewritten and uploaded chapters 1 and 2. I will be doing the same with
chapters 3 and 4. Now they will be easier to read and understand.

I want to thank everyone for their support! This is my first fanfic ever and y'all have been
so encouraging! I really love to read what you have to say about the story! Keep it up!

Enjoy!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

As Hermione walked into the Great Hall for breakfast, she searched around quickly for Harry and
Ron. Those two were the last people she wanted to see right now. It would be a long time before she
could face them again after what was said the night before. All the things Ron had said, and
everything Harry hadn't said, were the last things she had expected. She didn't know
whether or not it was true that Harry cared about her more than a friend, but she didn't feel
like she could handle hearing the truth. On one hand, if it was true, it was the end of the year
and they would soon be going their separate ways. She couldn't stand being separated from him
when they had finally found each other. But on the other hand, if it wasn't true, she would be
so mortified that she didn't think she could ever bring herself to talk to him ever again.

Hermione felt like crying. She couldn't remember when she felt this lost. *What am I going
to do about Harry? What am I going to do if I don't find my diary?* She groaned and laid her
head in her arms on the table. She had hardly touched her toast.

“I promise it will all work out alright.” Lavender cooed, placing a comforting hand on her
arm.

Hermione sighed, lifted her head, and opened her mouth to disagree but stopped as her eyes
landed on the boy standing in front of her.

“Hi `Mione.” Harry said. His hair was slightly more disheveled then usual and he wore a shy
smile. *Damn, he looks good!* “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Hermione felt all the blood drain from her face. But before she knew what she was doing, she had
stood up and started following him towards the hallway. She stole one look at Lavender before she
left the Great Hall. Lavender gave her a reassuring smile and a slight wave.

Harry led her over to a corner in the hallway, away from prying eyes. She couldn't look him
in the face, she was so scared of what he was going to say. He cleared his throat and looked down
at the small book in his hands. “I believe this is yours.” He said sheepishly and looked into her
eyes.

Her diary! *He* had her diary! *Shit! Shit! Shit!* Hermione's eyes filled up with
tears. She grabbed the diary from his hands and backed away quickly. “*You* had this?! Where
did you find it?!” She cried.

“You left it at the Three Broomsticks last night.” Harry said guiltily. Just then a thought
occurred to her.

“Did you read it?” She squeaked out, not looking him in they eyes.

“Hermione, I. . .I. . .” He stuttered.

“DID YOU READ IT?” She screamed. She looked him strait in the eye, her face red with anger. The
rage rose in her so quickly. She couldn't believe that her Harry would do something so
inexcusable.

“Yes.” Harry looked as if he felt two inches tall.

“I cant believe. . .You're such a. . .” and without finishing her thought Hermione burst
into tears and ran off, disappearing into a crowd of students coming out of the Great Hall. She
couldn't hear him call after her over the sound of her sobs and the chatter of students.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

*Damn it! I really screwed this up.* Harry had spent the last hour looking for Hermione.
She had burst into tears and disappeared after he gave her the diary. This wasn't exactly the
response he'd hoped for or expected. He had really expected her to throw her arms around him,
kiss him, and then. . .then. . . *What* were *you expecting, Romeo? For her to ask you to
take her right then and there?*

He had to admit that reading her diary entries had really turned him on. He never thought of
Hermione being one to think about sex all the time, or at all, but what he read told him otherwise
and that excited him. Just the idea that he was the one she'd imagined being with made him
hard. *Shit. Calm down, Potter.*

But Hermione was so angry with him at the moment. He knew he shouldn't have read the diary,
but if he hadn't then he wouldn't know how she truly felt about him. Yeah, there was all
that stuff about the dreams and fantasies, but she had also written about how much she truly loved
him for just being him. He never thought he could find someone to felt that way about him,
especially after living with the Dursleys. He had to make it up to her. If he ever found her, and
if she ever forgave him, he would do everything in his power to make things right and show her how
much he loved her. *I love Hermione. I still can't get over this. Why did I wait so long to
figure this out? I am such an idiot.*

Now all he had to do is find her. The first place he looked was in the library. She
*always* goes to the library when she's upset. It had always been a very calming place for
her. But he should have known that she would know that that would be the first place he'd look
for her. Then he had Ginny check the girl's dormitory to see if she was there. She wasn't.
He then checked by the huge try by the lake, Hagrid's hut, the Room of Requirements, and every
other place he knew she might go to be away from the world.

“Lavender! Wait up!” Harry had spotted Lavender leaving Gryffindor tower.

“Harry? Where did Hermione go? I've been looking for her everywhere! She never came back to
breakfast.” She said, looking a little concerned.

“Well. . .when I returned her diary earlier. . .”

“*You* had her diary!?” Lavender interrupted, eyes wide.

“Uh. . .yeah. . .” Harry blushed. “Anyway, I admitted to her that I read it and she got really
upset and took off.”

“You what? No wonder she got upset! Harry, how could you do a thing like this?” Lavender said
angrily.

“I know, I know. But I at the time I had to know if it was true that she loved me because. .
.because I had to know if she felt the same way about me as I do about her.” He admitted
hesitantly.

“Oh Merlin! Harry! You really do love her? That's so great!” Lavender's annoyed
expression turned to one of pure delight.

“Yeah. But it won't turn out great if I don't find her soon and apologize. She really
isn't happy with me at the moment.” He said.

“Have you checked the library?” She asked.

“Yeah.”

“Room of Requirement?”

“Yup.”

“Astronomy tower?”

“No. I didn't know she ever went there, other than class, that is.” Harry said, very
confused.

“She comes up there with me sometimes. What the library does for Hermione, the Astronomy tower
does for me. It's my sanctuary. She comes up there with me whenever I need to vent or relax.”
Lavender explained.

“Oh, tremendous. Thanks. I'll go see if she's there. Thanks for the tip” He said as he
sprinted off towards the other end of the castle.

“Go get her, Harry!” Lavender shouted after him.

A few minutes later, he was at the bottom of the latter that lead to the Astronomy classroom. He
took a deep breath and began to climb.

“Hermione? Hermione, are you up there?” He called up.

He heard a gasp and a sniffle. “Go away, Harry!” She called back.

“Hermione! We really need to talk.” He said as she came into view.

“I don't ever want to talk to you again, Harry Potter!” She yelled at him and turned her
back to him.

“Ok, well if you aren't going to talk, just listen.” He replied. When she didn't answer
back, he took a deep breath and continued. “I am so sorry I read your diary, Hermione. I know that
your diary is very personal and private, and I had no right what so ever to read it. But at the
time, my reasoning was that I had to find out if it was true. I had to know that you loved me as
much as I love you.” He paused, waiting for a reply.

*Sniff* “What?” she said, turning to face him, tear stains on her face. His heart sunk to the
pit of his stomach knowing that he was the cause of those tears.

“I love you, Hermione. I think I always have, but I didn't know it until now, until Ron said
it down at the Three Broomsticks last night. But you left before you said whether or not he was
telling the truth about your feelings for me. I know it was wrong, but I knew that the only way I
would find out the truth was if I read what you wrote in your diary. I hope you can forgive me.”
There was a very long pause.

*Sniff* “Well. . .I guess. . .” Hermione said playfully.

They both laughed and hugged. But this hug was different from all the hugs they had shared
before. This was an embrace. For the first time in his life, Harry felt wanted, needed. Harry felt
like he was home. He never wanted to be out of the arms of this woman ever again.

“Hermione?” He said, after a long minute.

“Hmm?” She replied as she broke the embrace to look into his eyes.

He stared at her for a moment. *She truly is beautiful.* His eyes traveled from her silky
chestnut hair (just as think and curly as ever) to her big, beautiful eyes that were glossy with
tears. He leaned over and kissed a stray tear away. He backed away again to continue to appreciate
her. From her eyes, his gaze traveled down to her full lips. She again was chewing on the corner of
her lip. There was that familiar look that he loved. He took a mental picture of her at this moment
because this is how he always wanted to remember her. She was the most beautiful girl in the world
to him.

His hand came up to stroke her cheek and wipe away all remaining tears. She closed her eyes at
his touch. His hand went to her hair, running his fingers through the silky curls and then resting
at the base of her neck, pulling her towards him. He leaned in and lightly pressed his lips to
hers. All the tension seemed to melt away from her and she leaned into him, kissing him with all
the passion she possessed.

-->



7. Dear Diary
-------------



Hey kids! Thanks for being patient with me guys! But wait no longer! This is where it finally
gets good. Ok, so I'm way nervous about posting this chapter since it's my first attempt at
anything like this so be nice and please let me know how I did with this chapter.

And no, this is not the final chapter…there is much much more to come!

Enjoy!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

*Oh, Merlin! Oh, Merlin! Harry is kissing me! He's kissing me! Oh, he feels so
good!*

Hermione wanted more. She couldn't help it. She had waited so long for Harry to kiss her and
now it was finally happening, and she wanted more. She ran her tongue across his lips, asking
permission to enter. He instantly obliged and their tongues met for the first time. She melted into
him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer, attempting to weld his body to
hers.

They had been standing this whole time, but suddenly they found themselves lying back onto a
pile of pillows that had “magically” appeared. Harry's powerful arms cradled her, making her
feel safe and secure in his embrace. She knew that he would never harm her.

Just then Hermoine was aware of their surroundings and pulled away suddenly.

“What? Hermione? Are you ok?” Harry asked nervously.

“Harry. Do you realize where we are?” She asked timidly.

“Yes. . . We are in the Astronomy tower.” He said, not quite getting where she was going with
this.

She paused before she continued. “You know, I had a dream we made love in this room.” She almost
whispered. She could feel her face burning with embarrassment. She was afraid of his response.

“Hermione. I love you. I want to make all your dreams come true.” Harry said, giving her a
reassuring smile. “But I will respect your timing. When you are ready, I'm ready.”

*Oh, how I love this man!* She thought. She kissed him lightly. “Harry, I have waited so
long for this moment. I love you so much. I don't want to wait another day!” She kissed him
again.

The smile that spread across his face almost made her laugh out loud. It was a look of love,
passion and relief. She smiled back as she raised her wand and recited the spell that locked the
door. She locked eyes with him, took his hand and guided it to the bottom hem of her tank top. She
inwardly cursed herself for dressing so poorly in sweat pants and a tank, but she couldn't
change that now.

His eyes questioned, “Are you sure?” She nodded in response and slowly he began to lift the tank
over her head, exposing her white cotton bra. He placed his hand on her stomach, looked into her
eyes and kissed her. As the kiss deepened, her hands flew to the top button on his shirt and in no
time it was discarded.

His hand cupped her breast and she gasped. As he continued to massage, a moan escaped from her
lips and she arched herself into his hand. She assisted Harry in removing her sweatpants and he
then shed his own pants.

As they lay there on the bed of pillows, she could feel his erection through his boxers against
her leg. Feeling how much he wanted her made her want him even more and she quickly removed her bra
and panties. He paused a moment, taking in the site of her lying beneath him. He sighed and smiled
and kissed her passionately. His hot kisses moved from her lips to her neck, eliciting moans from
deep inside her. *Oh Merlin, I never knew it could be this good and nothing's happened
yet.* He kissed a hot trail down her chest and found her nipple. He took it in his mouth and
gently sucked. Hermione cried out his name.

While his mouth was busy with her breasts, his hand slid from her stomach south to brush against
her clit. This produced another loud gasp from Hermione. She was just as surprised as he was to
find that she was already wet. He surprised her again when he dipped two fingers inside, rubbing
her clit with his thumb. *Where the hell did he learn that? Oh, who cares, it feels
amazing!*

He continued to slip his fingers in and out of her while she arched up to match his rhythm,
building up the pressure that had started to form. She felt it swell throughout her body. Both of
her hands were laced through Harry's unkempt raven hair. The pleasure he was giving her was
causing her to moan and cry out.

And then he stopped.

“Wha. . .Harry. . .?” She panted.

He smiled at her, kissed her, and proceeded to remove what was left between them. Boxers left in
a pile with the rest of their clothes, he positioned himself between her thighs. His used his
strong arms prop himself above her, careful not to crush her. She wrapped her legs around his waist
and reached down to guide him to her entrance.

He paused. “Hermione?” He panted one last time, making sure this is what she wanted.

She smiled, kissed him deeply and said, “Harry, I've never been more sure of anything. Just
be gentle.”

He nodded and slowly entered her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

*Oh, shit! Did I hurt her?*

Harry watched as a tear escaped Hermione's eye. He leaned down and kissed it away. He
continued to softly kiss her face and neck while her insides grew accustomed to him. *Merlin, she
feels so good.*

She let him know she was ready by pulling him closer with her legs and giving him a loving
smile. So he slowly started moving. The look on her face quickly changed from pain to pleasure as
he continued to move. She began eliciting little moans and squeaks, which drove him crazy and
encouraged him to pick up speed.

The faster he moved, the harder he pushed, and she rose to meet his every thrust. He could feel
himself coming close to the edge and he could tell that she was close as well.

Just then she leaned in close to his ear and whispered, “I love you, Harry Potter.” And with
that she arched her back and screamed his name as she came apart, digging her nails into his
shoulders. Her explosive orgasm was more than enough to send Harry over the edge. He cried out her
name and collapsed into her arms. Not wanting to crush her, he rolled over to where He wasn't
on top of her and regretfully pulled out of her. As they lay there panting, he brushed some hair
away from her face and stroked her cheek. As she drifted off to sleep he whispered in her ear, “I
love you too, Hermione Granger.”

Harry watched Hermione's face as she slept. *She is so beautiful.* Never in his life
had Harry felt so comforted, so loved, so complete. He had always known that his bond with Hermione
was special. They had always looked out for each other, helped each other, and cared for each
other. But now, seeing her in a new light, Harry knew that this was the way it should be. This was
their destiny. They were made for each other.

-->



8. Dear Diary
-------------



Wow…I am SO sorry for keeping you all in suspense this long. I really did not mean to take this
long getting Chapter 8 out. But my life has been so hectic lately that I've hardly had time to
write, let alone reread all the Harry Potter books before the 6th one comes out (which
happens to be on my birthday…Fate? I think so!).

So here is Chapter 8, finally! Enjoy! And keep leaving comments! I love comments!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When Hermione woke up the sun was setting outside the Astronomy tower window. For a few moments
she forgot where she was, but then she felt Harry's arms around her and all the memories of
what happened earlier that day came flooding back. She felt his naked body pressed against hers and
the slow steady breathing against her shoulder and she knew he was asleep. She turned to look at
him, careful not to wake him up. She couldn't believe that this wonderful man was lying next to
her. Tears stung her eyes as she remembered all the time they both had wasted. But the memory of
the love Harry had shown her brought a smile to her face. She wanted to lay in his arms
forever.

Just then Harry stirred and opened his eyes. His look of confusion was very quickly replaced by
realization, love, and contentment. He kissed the top of her head and pulled her in close.

“Hey you.” He yawned.

“Hey yourself.” She smiled. “Sleep well?”

“Fantastically!” Harry beamed. Then he leaned down and whispered in her ear, “You were
amazing.”

Hermione blushed. “You weren't so bad yourself.” She joked.

“Gee, thanks” Harry laughed and then paused with that grin of his that always made
Hermione's gut tighten “Wanna do it again?” She giggled and he began to tickle her.

Hermione laughed and screamed, “Harry! Stop! Not fair!” She grabbed hold of his hands and held
them still. “Its almost time for dinner. We have to go down. Lav and Ron will start wondering where
we are, plus, I'm famished!” She said as her and Harry's stomachs growled together.

“Alright, alright. You're right. Lets go.” Harry said as he untangled himself from her and
sat up. She sat up as well and reached for her bra. “You know that Lavender was the one who told me
to look for you up here. I guess I should thank her.” Harry said, reaching for his boxers and
giving her a wink. Her heart skipped a beat. *As usual.*

As they were getting dressed they heard a soft knock at the door. “Hermione? Harry? You guys in
there?”

“Shit! That's Lavender! She's come looking for us!” Hermione hissed, pulling up her
sweat pants and reaching for her tank top.

“Hello? Who's in there? Why is the door locked?” They heard coming from the other side of
the door.

Hermione and Harry quickly got dressed and made sure they looked normal before Hermione lifted
the spell she had put on the door and opened it to find a very amused looking Lavender.

“Hey, Lav!” Hermione said, trying to sound casual.

“Hey, `Mione. Have you been up here this whole time?” Lavender smiled as she looked between the
two, who had both suddenly turned beet red.

“Yeah. . .I found her up here earlier and we've been talking things out.” Harry added,
clearing his throat.

“Talking? Right.” Lavender said with a smile and a wink. “Well I just thought I'd let you
know that there are a lot of people looking for the both of you. Dinner is about to start so
you'd better come down soon.”

“Right. Harry, I'll meet you in the Great Hall, I'm going to go to back to the dorms and
change.” Hermione said as she descended the ladder behind Lavender. She mouthed `I love you'
and blowing him a kiss before she scurried off.

She caught up with Lavender around the corner and began laughing when she saw the look on her
face. “What?” was all she could say.

“I'm not even going to ask what happened because I have a pretty good idea.” Lavender said
smiling ear to ear.

Hermione didn't say anything. She just blushed and headed towards the Gryffindor Common
Room.

“What? I don't get any details? Come ON!” Lavender said, chasing after her. Hermione giggled
as she said the password to get into the Common Room and headed strait towards her room.

As she freshened up and changed clothes, she listened to Lavender gush about how scandalous she
was. “The whole school is going to go crazy! Most of us knew it would happen sooner or later, but I
was starting to think that neither of you were going to make the first move. Luckily, Harry found
your diary.” She was interrupted by a groan coming from Hermione.

“My diary. I left it up in the Astronomy room. I hope no one finds it there.” Hermione whined,
but then a thought occurred to her. *Harry and I will just have to go looking for it later.*
“Oh well, lets just go down to dinner. I'm starving” she said as she checked her reflection in
the mirror one lasts time before heading out the door.

“Worked up an appetite?” Lavender giggled.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Before heading down the ladder, Harry turned to survey the Astronomy classroom. He stared at the
spot where just a few minutes ago he'd woken up in the arms of the most beautiful woman in the
world. He couldn't believe that she had been harboring her feelings for him for so long or the
fact that he'd ignored his feelings for her possibly just as long. *I feel like such a
prat.* Harry thought to himself. *Oh well, the past doesn't matter anymore. All that
matters is the future Hermione and I will share together. I cant wait for it to begin.*

Harry took a mental picture of the room where he and Hermione made love for the first time. He
knew he would never forget it. The smell of her hair, the taste of her tears, the feeling of being
inside of her. He knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life reliving the feelings he felt
over and over.

He quickly made the pillows disappear and turned to go down the ladder, but stopped when
something caught his eye. Hermione's diary. *She left it behind again! She's lucky I
found it again or it could have been found by someone who shouldn't see what lies within these
pages.*

As Harry picked it up and climbed down the ladder, a delicious little plan began forming in his
mind and he ran as fast as he could to the Great Hall.

Twenty minutes later Ron sat down across from Harry in the Great Hall. “Here's your
Invisibility Cloak, Harry. Why did you need me to get it for you?” Ron asked, watching curiously as
Harry finished writing in what looked like Hermione's diary.

“Thanks mate. Appreciate it.” Harry said, and shoved the cloak into his book bag along with the
diary.

“Are you going to tell me what's up and why you still have Hermione's diary?” Ron
asked.

“Sorry mate, cant tell you much. Private.” Harry said, giving him one of those smiles that spoke
volumes.

“Riiiiiight!” Ron grinned. “So I guess she forgave you for reading her diary?”

“You could say that. . .” Harry chuckled.

Just then Harry looked up and saw Hermione and Lavender walking towards them. Ron saw the look
on Harry's face and followed his gaze.

Hermione slid in next to Harry and he could smell her perfume. She smelled like vanilla.

“Hi.” He said.

“Hi.” She responded. They sat there for a moment, smiling at each other.

Ron and Lavender stared at the two knowingly and then Lavender spoke up. “Hey Ron, lets go see
what Neville is up to.”

Lavender and Ron laughed as they walked away, leaving Harry and Hermione alone.

“I believe this is yours.” Harry smiled as he pulled the diary from his bag.

“Great! You found it!” She smiled, then added “Did you read it?” trying to sound serious.

“Of course I didn't!” Harry gasped in mock surprise. “But I think you need to go back and
reread your last entry.” He whispered.

She gave him a curious smile and opened to the last page she wrote on. But she noticed that the
next page had something written on it. She looked at him as he tried to act nonchalantly while
eating his steak and kidney pie. She giggled as she turned the page and read:

*Dear Hermione's Diary,*

*What a day I've had. I woke up this morning and realized that I am hopelessly in love
with my best friend. And what is even better is that she loves me back! I don't think I've
ever been this happy in all my life. We made love for the first time this afternoon in the
Astronomy tower and then we fell asleep in each other's arms. But the strangest thing happened.
I had a dream about her. Oh, not just any dream, I had a sex dream about my best friend and lover,
Hermione Granger. And boy, was it hot. We were in the Great Hall having dinner and I just happened
to have my Invisibility Cloak in my bag. We snuck out of the Great Hall and I led her to the
library where we made love on her favorite table underneath the invisibility cloak. We almost got
caught a couple of times, but it was worth it. I wonder, since I've fulfilled one of her sex
fantasies, would she be open to fulfill mine?*

*Her's forever,*

*Harry Potter*

Hermione didn't know whether to smack him or kiss him. She sat there and reread the entry
again. She let out a laugh and felt her face turn crimson. She had always wanted to have sex in the
library. She slowly brought her eyes up to meet Harry's. She knew the question that was being
communicated in his gaze. She grabbed a roll from the table with one hand and his hand with the
other and together they left the Great Hall.

Hermione was almost running to the library. “Whoa! Someone is in a hurry!” Harry laughed as he
tried to keep up.

“Hey, there. This was your idea!” She laughed back and smacked him on the shoulder.

They walked the rest of the way in silence, letting the excitement shoot through them like
lightning. When they arrived, they made sure that Madam Pince was on the other side of the library
before Hermione performed an Engorgement Charm on the Invisibility Cloak so they were sure that it
would cover them completely.

Once under the cloak Harry pulled Hermione into a passionate kiss. He couldn't think of
anything he'd wanted more than her at this very moment. He could hardly think at all. Hermione
threw her arms around his neck as he picked her up and set her on the table that had been dubbed
Hermione's since the moment she'd arrived at Hogwarts seven years before.

Undressing each other had proved to be a bit more difficult than Harry had anticipated. They
kept getting tangled up in the huge cloak that concealed them from anyone who might happen upon
them. Luckily for them both, Hermione had worn a skirt and a front snap bra for easy access. *She
thought ahead. That's my girl!* Harry smiled to himself as he pulled down her knickers.

Harry paused momentarily to catch his breath and survey the beauty before him. But he was only
given a few seconds before Hermione attacked his lips with hers once more. She wrapped her legs
around his waist, pulling him closer to her. He didn't waste any more time. He plunged deep
inside her making her squeak into his mouth. He paused for a second to shush her before he sank
back into her again.

The faster he went, the harder he thrust, and the harder it was to keep quiet. Harry had to bite
his lip from calling out her name, while Hermione dug her nails into his back.

With little warning Hermione went over the edge. She was trying hard not to scream, but let out
a loud, breathy sigh. Harry watched as she rode the waves of her orgasm. *Damn, she looks so
sexy!* He plunged into her two more times before he came, producing a low, guttural moan.

Hermione rested her head against his shoulder trying to slow her breathing. Harry felt as though
his legs were going to give so he leaned into her for support. Once their breathing had slowed and
they could once again see strait, Harry said, “Again, you amaze me.”

Hermione smiled, “I've been fantasizing about this for years. But this is definitely better
than any dream I've had.” She said as she kissed him softly.

“I guess we should head back to the Common Room.” Harry said, shivering because it had gotten a
bit drafty in their corner of the library.

Putting on their clothes was just as difficult, if not more so, than when they were taking it
all off. Hermione had a hard time finding where Harry had dropped her underwear while Harry kept
tripping over excess fabric from the cloak. They kept having to shush each other because they were
laughing hysterically. Then suddenly they heard footsteps coming closer and went silent.

“Over here Madam Pince. In this corner. I heard funny noises and people laughing, but
there's no one there.” A second year girl in Hufflepuff colors was leading the Librarian over
to their table. Harry and Hermione froze.

“Well, I certainly don't see anyone either.” Madam Pince said as she rounded the corner and
surveyed the area. She bent down, her knobby knees creaking, and glanced under the tables. “You
were probably imagining things, my dear. Go on, run on back to your dormitory. It's getting
late.” She shooed the frightened girl away and gave one last glance back at the corner before
walking back to the front of the library to clean up before she closed it up for the night.

After she was gone, they both breathed a sigh of relief and burst out laughing.

“Wow, that was close!” Hermione whispered.

“No kidding. Lets get out of here before we are locked in here.” Harry said. Hermione reversed
the Engorgement Charm on the Cloak, but they stayed underneath it until they had gotten out of the
library and down the hallway a bit. They ducked down a deserted corridor before removing the cloak
and sauntering casually back to the Common Room, hand in hand.

-->



9. Dear Diary
-------------



Again, my apologies for the delay. I know you all wait by the computer for my next installments!
Hehe ; ) Thanks for your patience.

I am thinking that there will only be one more chapter after this one. The story is winding down
and I think its time to wrap it up. But don't worry. I have a few more ideas for stories, so
this wont be the last you hear from me.

Anyway, Enjoy!

P.S. Something funny is going on when I try to upload this chapter and there's a huge chunk
of text that is bolded that isn't supposed to be, so I put “” around the things that are
supposed to be bolded.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hermione had never felt like this before. She was in love with a man who was in love with her!
She couldn't remember the last time she felt this happy and content. She had thought it was
going to be hard to top how she felt when she found out that she was a witch, *but this is
definitely better!*

At first they thought it best to try to keep it quiet, but the Hogwarts grapevine prevailed yet
again and most of the school knew by the next night at dinner. Truth be told, though, she and Harry
didn't quite do their best to hide their relationship. They were hardly seen apart. But
Hermione didn't really notice the stares they got as they walked hand in hand down the hall or
when she lounged with Harry's head in her lap underneath the large tree by the lake in the warm
summer afternoon sun or when they couldn't keep their hands off each other or whispering in
each other's ears during meals.

“You know, you are turning into one of those couples we all make fun of!” Lavender giggled.

She and Hermione were in the process of packing all their belongings. Tomorrow they would be
getting on the Hogwarts Express for the last time and going back home. Hermione wanted to cry every
time she thought about leaving the castle and leaving Harry. *Why didn't I tell him sooner?
We could have had more time together!*

“So what are you and Harry going to do after tomorrow?” Lavender asked.

“I have no idea. I think we've been avoiding the subject.” Hermione said sadly.

“I wouldn't want to think about it either.” Lavender said, throwing her books and
knick-knacks into her trunk. “Maybe you two could run away together.” She laughed.

“Right. Where would we go? What would we do? Its not practical, I think we just need to sit down
and plan out what we are going to do.” Hermione said, folding up her dress robes and packing it
neatly into her own trunk.

Lavender laughed. “Since when is love practical? This is one thing you cannot analyze or put in
a schedule. Love is meant to be spontaneous and messy. Things never go according to plan. You cant
put it under a microscope and see what its made of. That's what makes it love. No one knows the
first thing about it, you just have to go along for the ride.”

“Since when are you so wise about this?” Hermione said with a smile.

“Since when do I know more about something than you do?” Lavender laughed and threw her pillow
at Hermione.

The girls gossiped and giggled as they finished packing, talking about the past and the future.
The more they talked, the sadder Hermione became, though she never let it show. *Crying about it
wont make tomorrow stay away. Whining about it wont make tonight last forever.* And it was then
that Hermione had an idea. She looked at the clock.

“Lavender! We've got to go. The feast is going to start any minute now!” She screeched as
she shoved the last of her belongings in her trunk.

She stopped to check her reflection in the mirror before heading downstairs and out the portrait
hole and down to the Great Hall. Along the way, she worked out the plan in her head. She had
brought her book bag that contained a few books, including her spell book which she began flipping
through, looking for a particular spell that she knew would help her.

“What are you looking up? School is over!” Lavender laughed as she peeked over Hermione's
shoulder at the spell she was reading. “Hermione? What are you going to use that for?” She asked,
confused at what she saw.

“Oh, you'll see, Lavender. You'll see.” Hermione smiled a smile that told Lavender that
she had something spectacular up her sleeve. Lavender whined the rest of the way to the feast,
begging her to tell what she was up to.

She entered the Great Hall and immediately found Harry. She took the seat next to him and
greeted him with her killer smile and short, sweet kiss. They enjoyed the feast together, Harry
kept whispering little “I love you”s in Hermione's ear and she would squeeze his hand and kiss
his cheek. They laughed and chatted with Lavender and Ron and the other Gryffindors around them,
never mentioning the dreaded topic of what tomorrow held. All they had was now and that's all
that mattered to them.

Finally, Dumbledor stood up, held up a hand to get everyone's attention, and the Hall went
silent. He cleared his throat and began. “Another year had flown by. For many of you that means the
summer holiday lies ahead of you. Two months of freedom. But for some of you this means that the
future lies ahead of you. The future can be a tricky thing. Most of the time we don't know what
lies around the corner for us. My hope is that the last seven years at Hogwarts had prepared you
for whatever meets you along the way. Not only have we set out to teach you magic, but we also
aimed to teach you about life and love. Life has its ups and downs, but as long as you have love,
the ups will be higher and the lows wont be so low. Love is the most important lesson you can learn
because if you have love, you have it all. Without love, life is meaningless. Love comes in many
shapes and forms, but it will find you when you least expect it. It sneaks up on you and smacks you
up side the head and knocks you flat on your back, but then it picks you back up again and stands
you on your feet.” Dumbledor paused. His eyes twinkled and Hermione could have sworn she saw him
look in Harry's and her direction and wink. She had the funny feeling that she was speaking
strait to her heart. Her eyes became wet with tears as the began to think about what would happen
to her and Harry after they left the castle, but another look and smile from Dumbledor gave her a
renewed hope. Dumbledor finished his speech by reminding to the students that any parties that may
go on in the house Common Rooms should get any provisions from the kitchens they needed before Mr.
Filch catches them in the corridors after curfew.

As everyone got up from the tables and headed back to their Common Rooms to celebrate one last
time, Hermione leaned over and whispered in Harry's ear, “I have something I need to do.
I'll meet you at the party.” And before Harry could protest, she slipped away and disappeared
into the crowed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Where did she tell you she was going?” Ron asked. He wanted to get on with the celebration, but
he also didn't want to leave Harry alone looking dejected.

Hermione had been gone almost an hour and Harry was starting to get worried. *What if
she's not coming? What if she got scared and changed her mind about us? I don't know if I
could take it if she broke things off. Oh, who am I kidding? Why would she stay with me anyway? I
don't really know what I'm going to do with my life and she deserves someone who can
provide for all her needs.* The more and more Harry thought about the future, the more depressed
he became.

“Come on mate, have some more mead and she'll be here soon!” Ron coaxed.

“Alright.” Harry moaned. But no sooner had he taken the fist sip, then he saw Hermione heading
into the room through the portrait hole. “Hermione!” He yelled and waved her over. He greeted her
with a big, wet kiss and almost spilled his mead down the front of her dress. “Oops!”

“Harry?” Hermione whispered in his ear, “We need to talk. Can we go up to your room?” Her tone
was serious. This scared him. He set down his drink, gave Ron a worried look and took her hand as
she led him towards the stairs that led to the boys dorms.

“What's this about, Hermione?” Harry said as she opened the door to his room and checked to
make sure no one was there. She didn't answer right away. “Hermione? What's going. . .”

But before he could finish, Hermione had pushed him against the door and sought his lips with
her own. The kiss was deep and passionate, but just as soon as it had started, she broke away and
backed away from him.

“Hermione? What's going on? You're acting a little strange.” Harry said cautiously.

“Harry, we need to talk about us. About our future.” She said quietly, not looking him in the
eye.

“What are you saying, Hermione? You want to end this? We just got started!” Harry was yelling
now. *I cant lose her! I cant lose her!*

“What? Oh Harry! I didn't mean I wanted to end this!” She cried, coming close to hug him
tightly. *Whew!* He thought *That was a close one.* “Its just that we hadn't
discussed it yet and I wanted to in a private place.” She cooed in his ear.

“Yeah. Ok.” Harry sighed, relaxing considerably as she held him.

“But before we discuss anything, I wanted to give you something.” She said with a twinkle in her
eyes as she went over to her book back and retrieved something wrapped in brown paper.

“What is it?” Harry asked a little confused.

“Open it, you git!” She laughed.

Harry sat down on his bed, yanked her down to sit next to him, and then tore open the package in
his lap.

It was the diary.

“You're giving me your diary?” He asked, now thoroughly confused.

“Open it to the last page.” She whispered.

Harry opened the book to the last page that had been written upon. At the top of the page were
the words:

**“The Night That Lasted Forever”**

“What does this mean?” Harry asked, looking her in the eye. She had an excited look in her eyes
that made his heart jump up into his throat and sent goose bumps down his arms.

She didn't say a word, but tapped the page with her wand. More words appeared.

**“Harry and Hermione were alone in the boy's dorm, sitting on his bed. . .”**

Still confused, Harry read and reread the line. “Ok, I'm still lost.” He said, feeling his
cheeks redden.

She giggled and tapped the page again. This time different words appeared.

**“Hermione inched closer to Harry, kissed him softly, and began to undo the buttons on her
dress. . .”**

Harry's eyes grew wide. He looked over at Hermione. She scooted closer to him and said in a
low, breathy voice, “I've bewitched it to write down what we are thinking, feeling, desiring.”
Then she brought her mouth to his and kissed him. The shock wave from the simple kiss made Harry
weak. He looked down and saw her hands go to the top button on her dress and begin to work their
way down.

When she had finished unbuttoning her dress, letting it hang open and exposing her blue satin
bra, she reached over with her wand to tap the page again. He stopped her. He wanted to get in on
the fun. He pulled out his own wand and tapped the page. These words appeared:

**“Harry lifted her dress above her head, leaving her in just her underwear, while Hermione
began working on removing his pants.”**

With a devilish grin, he showed Hermione what he made appear. And just as it said, he lifted the
dress above her head and she loosened his belt and zipper of his pants. The feeling of her hands
that close to his already straining erection made it almost painful and he wished that she would
hurry.

This time is was Hermione's turn, and just as if she could read his thoughts:

**“****Hermione saw that Harry could wait no longer, so she magically made the rest of their
clothes disappear.”**

**And before Harry had even finished reading the next line, his clothes were gone.** **Wow,
she's good!** **He thought, his heart racing. He tapped the page quickly.**

**“****Harry had to have her. He charmed the door to lock and turned to gaze upon the most
beautiful woman in the world. He ravaged her mouth as he laid her back against the
pillows.”**

**Seconds after the words appeared on the page he was on top of her, the door locked to insure
that no one interrupted. What seemed like minutes later, she broke the kiss and breathlessly
fumbled around for the diary. She tapped the page and held it up for Harry to read.**

**“Hermione couldn't wait any longer. She tossed aside the diary as Harry entered her. He
slowly began to move in and out of her, making her feel pleasure as she had never felt before.
Every move he made sent sensations throughout her body. Every thrust filled her more and more until
she was sure she was bursting at the seams. She called out his name over and over until he sent her
over the edge. He came crying out her name soon after and they collapsed together and held each
other close.”**

Harry was overcome with lust and love for the woman lying beneath him. Just as it was written,
the diary was tossed aside and he positioned himself above her. She opened up for him, stroking his
cheek as he looked into her eyes as he slowly entered her. He stopped a moment, memorizing the
feeling of being inside her and the sight of her beneath him. He kissed her softly as he pulled out
and sank back in, eliciting a moan from deep within her that encouraged him to continue. He pulled
out again, plunging back into her a little harder this time. She cried out. The harder and faster
he went, the louder she got. He loved every little sound she made. He felt himself plunging deeper
and deeper every time he thrust. He could tell she was getting close to the edge because her nails
dug into his back and she tightened the walls around him. With two more hard thrusts she came,
calling out his name. He continued to slide in and out while she rode out her orgasm. Feeling her
body spasm around him sent him over the edge. His own body shuddered and after one last thrust, he
screamed her name and felt himself release inside of her.

He pulled out of her, rolled onto his side, and immediately pulled her to him. Their bodies were
sweaty and trembling and their breathing was still ragged. He held her in his arms as he kissed her
forehead.

After a few minutes and their breathing slowed down considerably, Hermione raised her head to
look into his eyes. “Our story isn't finished” She whispered and smiled. She reached for her
wand, raised it, and said “Accio diary.” The book flew into Harry's outstretched hand.

He opened it back to where they were before and before she could add the ending to the story he
stopped her and said, “Allow me.”

He found his own wand, tapped the page and the final bit of their story appeared.

**“They lay there together. Harry could only think about this amazing woman next to him and
wondered how he ever lived without her in his life and his heart. He never wanted to be without her
next to him ever again. He cradled her in his arms until he felt her breathing become slow and
rhythmic. Just as she was about to drift off to sleep he whispered in his ear, “Hermione, will you
marry me?” Startled, she looked up into his eyes and said. . .”**

Hermione read what Harry had written. She stared at the page for a long time. She couldn't
speak. Harry grew concerned. Finally he took the diary from her hands, threw it across the room and
held her to him once again. She still did not speak. The silence was making his insides twist and
contort with fear. For a split second he felt like saying, `Just kidding, love. Haha! I got
ya!' But he knew that he couldn't live without her another day and at the moment it just
seemed so right, but as he stroked her hair he gathered his nerves and whispered, “Hermione, will
you marry me?”

A few seconds went by. Harry thought she might not have heard him and said “Hermione?” She
slowly lifted her head to look at him, tears streaming down her face.

“Harry. . . I. . .” She croaked. His heart tightened. He continued to gaze into her eyes, trying
to find the answer to his question there. *Oh shit. I've screwed it all up!*

“HARRY! Harry, mate? You in there?” Ron called from the other side of the door, jerking Harry
and Hermione out of the staring contest they were in.

Harry cursed under his breath and sat up. Hermione sat up as well and with a flick of her wand,
they were fully clothed again. He made sure that they looked normal before he wrenched open the
door, a furious look on his face.

“Harry! Where have you. . . Oh, oops, sorry! Am I interrupting something?” Ron asked looking
both embarrassed and amused at the situation he had obviously barged in on.

“Yeah, Ron, now's not a good time.” Harry said, attempting to smooth down some of his
unkempt hair.

But before he could shoo Ron out of the room, Hermione rushed passed them out the door and
disappeared out of site. Harry ran down after her and into the party in the common room. Getting
tangled up in the throng of people giving him good byes and good lucks for the future, he lost
sight of her and turned to face Ron. His face must have conveyed the frustration he felt because
Ron looked a bit frightened and stepped back.

“Whoa, mate. I'm sorry! What happened?” Ron asked, hands held up in defense.

Harry seemed to deflate. He slumped down in a chair in the corner and put his head in his hands.
“I did something stupid.” He groaned.

“What? It cant be that bad.” Ron said, trying to comfort him.

“I asked her to marry me!” Harry moaned. Without waiting to see the shocked look on Ron's
face, he continued. “What was I thinking? We've only been together a few days! I've ruined
everything, Ron! I scared her off. I was so afraid of leaving tomorrow and loosing her that I just
acted irrationally! What am I going to do?”

But before his question was answered, Hermione appeared. She gave Ron a look as to say “Could
you give us a moment alone?” and Ron left. Harry stood up to look her in the eyes. Her eyes were
filled with tears again. He opened his mouth to say something, to explain his hasty action, but she
put a finger to his lips and silenced him.

“Harry, I cant.”

-->



10. Dear Diary
--------------



I know what you're thinking. . .FINALLY!!! I know, I know. . .I'm horrible. But its
finally finished! Hip Hip Hooray!

I had wanted to end this nice a clean like the rest of the story, but I just kept writing and
writing. That's why it took so long. . . there was just so much left to write. I think this is
the longest final chapter in history! Anyway. . .please let me know if you like the ending.

I have truly appreciated all your support and encouragement. I loved writing this and I hope to
write more.

Love you all (and Harry Potter)!

Maureen

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She would never know how much she had broken his heart.

Graduation had been over a year ago and Harry was now in the midst of grueling Auror training.
He sat alone in his cottage outside London reading from a small book in his lap. As he read he
tried to force the lump in his throat to go away, but the more he read, the bigger the lump grew.
He couldn't tear his eyes away from the page. Over the past year he had read and reread it more
times than he could count, and every time he opened this small little book he was reminded of the
love of his life and the pain she had caused him.

*Dear Diary,*

*I have never been so happy as I have been the past few days. Harry and I are in love! But the
joy was fleeting. Harry asked me to marry him last night. What was he thinking? We just got
together! We are graduating this afternoon! Neither of us really knows where our lives are going to
go after we leave Hogwarts! How can he think about getting married when he doesn't have a place
to live tomorrow? I know he loves me and Merlin knows I love him, and we have been best friends for
seven years now, but this isn't practical! How can he just blurt something like that out?
Marriage isn't something you just rush into. We are too young! I don't know what to do from
here. I told him I couldn't marry him last night and the look on his face was so heartbreaking.
He hasn't talked to me since. I cant tell if he's angry or sad or both or what. He
didn't come to breakfast this morning and according to Ron, he wasn't in his room this
morning. I wish I could find him and explain to him why we can't get married. He needs to know
I still love him, but we aren't ready to take that next step.*

Harry set the diary aside and stared out the window. He remembered Graduation day like it was
yesterday. He had spent the day riding his broom around the grounds trying to clear his head but it
hadn't worked. Everywhere he went on the grounds held a memory of her from sometime in the last
several years. He finally found a quiet place out behind Hagrid's pumpkin patch and sat for a
few hours attempting to come up with something to say to her that would change her mind. He finally
headed back to the castle when he checked his watch, the one she had given him for Christmas last
year, and saw that it was almost time for the Graduation ceremony. He'd sat next to Ron and
Neville and tried not to look in her direction too much.

“Harry! Harry!” The ceremony had ended not seconds before when Harry heard her call his name and
saw her pushing through the crowd to get to him. “Harry, we need to talk.” She had said, looking on
the verge of tears.

“Ok, lets go for a walk.” He said, leading her out of the Great Hall, out the front doors, and
out towards the lake.

The sun was warm and reflected off the lake, making it shimmer. They walked a while in silence,
both working up the words to explain their actions and the nerves to say them. Hermione was the
first to break the silence.

“Harry, you have to understand. We just can't get married. We aren't ready! We've
only been together a few days and we don't know what's going to happen in the future. We
don't have jobs or places to live or any real plan . . .” She said fast, hardly stopping to
breath. She wanted to get it all out without being interrupted.

Harry let the words sink in. The thing was, he really didn't understand. They loved each
other, what else mattered. He voiced this to her.

“Harry, I do love you, but . . .but . . .” She paused

“But what?” Harry asked hesitantly.

“This . . . this isn't how I'd picture this going.” She whispered.

Offended, Harry said, “This isn't how you pictured what going? The proposal? The
circumstances? What, Hermione? Tell me what you had planned out.”

Hermione looked hurt and surprised by his outburst, but lowered her head and said in a voice
just above a whisper, “I don't know, Harry. I just didn't think that things would happen
this fast. I'm just not ready for this.” And with that she let out a great sob and ran
away.

Harry mentally kicked himself for being so hot-tempered with her as he watched her run off
towards the castle. When he finally calmed down and found the nerves to go apologize, he went back
up to the castle but couldn't find her.

She had disappeared.

Back in the present, remembering that day caused his chest to tighten. How had he let her get
away like that? Harry sighed as he continued to stare blankly out the window, not seeing what was
going on in garden.

He sighed again and turned away from the window, shaking the memory of the look in her
tear-filled eyes out of his head. He needed something to distract him. Just like an answered
prayer, there was a knock at the door and Ron entered the room.

“Hey mate. How ya holdin' up?” He said cheerfully.

“I'm doin' alright.” Harry said half-heartedly.

“What's going . . .Oh, Harry. What are you doing reading that diary again? You know
that's you cant do anything to change what happened.” Ron said, trying to sound comforting but
coming across a little annoyed.

“Yeah, I know.” Harry said quietly.

Ron paused and looked out the window with Harry. “There are some people arriving already. But
we've got some time before we have to get outside. Wanna play a game of wizard's chess?”
Ron said, trying to cheer up his friend.

“Yeah. Tha'd be great.” Harry said, smiling.

They played for the next hour, watching the pieces run around the board, kicking and knocking
others off, and smashing anything that got in their way. Harry actually laughed out loud when
Hedwig swooped down and snatched up Ron's bishop seconds before it was about to clobber
Harry's king for checkmate.

Finally, Ron checked the clock and said, “Just about that time. You ready to go?”

Harry checked the clock too and sighed. “Yeah, ready as I'll ever be.” He said, giving Ron a
grin.

They straitened each other's ties and walked out into the yard where all their friends were
waiting.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He would never know how much she regretted breaking his heart.

Hermione sat at the kitchen table next to Lavender and sipped her coffee. She was thinking about
him again. She couldn't help it. She kept thinking back to the biggest mistake she's ever
made. She no longer had the old diary, but had started a new one and was reading over her last
entry.

*Dear Diary,*

*I am the biggest fool. I've been living with the guilt of my decision for over a year. I
still think about him and what happened all the time. I regret telling him that I wouldn't
marry him. I watch him now and see that he's trying so hard not to show that my reaction to his
proposal hurt him and it breaks my heart that he has to go through that. He's already had so
much rejection in his life. So much pain and loss, I will never forgive myself for causing him more
heartache. But things are different now. I am different now. I am tougher, bolder, more sure of
myself. I am going to show him that tonight. Tonight I am going to make up for being the fool that
I am. I just hope he accepts the new, bolder me.*

“I know that look. You're dwelling again.” Lavender said, spying that sad, vacant look in
Hermione's eyes.

“Sorry.” She whispered, taking another sip of coffee.

“Sweetheart, you're never going to get over what happened if you don't let yourself.
This isn't healthy. You just need to move on.” Lavender sighed.

“I'm trying.” Hermione whined. *But I think this evening will more than make up for my
mistake.* She thought to herself.

“Oh look, everyone's starting to arrive!” Lavender said excitedly as she peered out the
window.

Just then, Mrs. Weasley came in through the kitchen door and greeted both the girls with one of
her famous hugs. “Oh girls, today's the big day! Look how lovely you both look. How are you?
Lavender, enjoying your job working in the Ministry's Department of Seers and Seers'
Unions?”

“Oh, definitely, Molly. I was sad when I left Hogwarts and Professor Trelawny retired. I know
she may be batty sometimes, but she's so knowledgeable and has predicted so many things that
have come true. She has taught me so much and I enjoy working with her again.” Lavender beamed. She
had jumped at the chance to help head up this new department. After Harry's Prophecy was
exposed, Professor Trelawny became sort of like a celebrity and began working with the Ministry to
start a Department specifically for Seers and their Prophecies.

“Splendid! And what about you, Hermione? You getting used to the work schedule?” Molly
asked.

“Yeah. I really do love working at Hogwarts. Madam Pince and Professor McGonagall have been
great to work with.” She smiled. She had indeed taken the job as Madam Pince's assistant in the
Library while Professor McGonagall trained her to take over as Transfiguration Professor once she
decided to retire or step up as Headmistress of Hogwarts. Hermione loved spending her days among
the books she loved so much and her nights doing magic and secretly learning to become an
animagus.

“Wonderful! Just wonderful, darling.” Molly gushed, giving Hermione another hug. Hermione had
always thought of Mrs. Weasley as a surrogate mother, spending summers and holidays at the Burrow
and confiding in her when her own muggle mother didn't understand what was going on. It was
nice having Molly as a older witch to look up to and to open her heart to, especially after what
happened with Harry last year.

“Oh, dear. Don't you girls need to start getting ready! The ceremony is set to start in half
an hour!” She pointed at the clock. “Now, you girls need any help? Come here Lavender, sweetheart,
you've got a hair out of place.” Molly giggled as she pulled out her wand and began to help
Lavender fix her hair. She the preceded to charm a wrinkle out of Hermione's dress and fix a
scuff on her shoe.

Just as they were almost done getting dressed, Ginny stuck her head in. “Its time girls! Lets
go! Everyone's waiting for the beautiful bride!” Mrs. Weasley left with Ginny to go take their
own seats out in the garden.

“Lavender . . .” Hermione said, stopping Lavender in her tracks half way towards the door.

“Yeah?” Lavender said, and then seeing the look on her face said, “You nervous?”

“Uh huh.” Hermione sighed, sinking into a chair.

“You know he loves you, always has, always will. Everything will work out perfectly. It has to.
Weddings are supposed to be magical!” Lavender smiled and pulled Hermione to her feet and towards
the window overlooking the garden where their closest friends and family were gathered. “You see
him there waiting there with Ron at the end of the aisle? We cant keep them waiting now, can we?
Lets go!”

Hermione sighed and smiled. She knew that Lavender was right. She hugged her best friend. They
applied the finishing touches to each other's makeup and headed outside to the garden and down
the aisle as the music started to play.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Everyone, I've got something to say! I want to raise a toast to my best mate. The past
eight years, this bloke sitting here has stood next to me through thick and thin. And I
couldn't have asked for a better friend. Ever since we shared a cabin on the Hogwarts Express,
I knew that I'd made a friend for life. He was unlike anyone I'd ever met. Since then,
we've had our share of adventures and misadventures. Flying the car into the Whomping Willow,
trying to escape Aragog and his hungry relatives in the Forest, and Quidditch playoffs are just
some of the many memories of narrow escapes we've experienced. With this guy by my side, we
managed to slip through danger's grasp again and again. But now he's about to embark on the
biggest adventure of them all. And I think if he can survive Hagrid's cooking, he can survive
marriage.” There was a roar of laughter as Champaign glasses were raised. “To my best mate and his
best girl!”

“TO RON AND LAVENDER!” The crowd bellowed.

Harry lifted his glass, took a sip, and sat back down as everyone clapped for his Best Man
speech. He caught Hermione's eye across the table in the Maid of Honor seat. She gave him that
million-dollar smile of hers and raised her glass to him. He raised his glass to her and made a
silent toast to each other.

The music started back up and couples were merging onto the dance floor. He saw her glance
towards the swaying throng. When she looked back to him he smiled and nodded towards the dance
floor, indicating his invitation to dance. She smiled and stood. Together they walked out onto the
dance floor and he pulled her close to him as the music played.

“Great speech.” She giggled.

“Why, thank you.” He smiled down at her.

They again fell silent at the song continued and he thought back to the first time they saw each
other after his failed proposal. It had been Ron and Lavender's idea. They had just started
dating and planned to invite Harry and Hermione to dinner at the Three Broomsticks in Hogsmede, not
telling either of them that the other was coming. It had been an extremely uncomfortable night,
neither of them speaking much. But he decided to suck up his pride and offer to walk her home.
She'd thankfully done the same and accepted. On the walk back to the Hogwarts gates they'd
both expressed their remorse for what had happened between them. He'd admitted that he'd
been wrong in asking her so soon and unexpectedly like that. She apologized for reacting the way
she did and running away. By the time they reached the gates, they'd agreed to meet the next
day for lunch and “start over”. Harry smiled when he remembered the lunch date. She'd come to
his house, he'd made her a wonderful meal, and they ended making love on the kitchen table in
the middle of the afternoon, twice.

“What's so funny?” Hermione asked, seeing the look on his face.

“Just remembering our first date.” He laughed as she smacked his shoulder, a scandalized look on
her face.

He pulled her closer to him as a slower song began to play. When he was sure she wasn't
looking, his smile faded slightly. Even though they were back together and falling back in love,
the fact that she'd refused to marry him still hung over them and held them back. He'd
become a little more guarded and let her take the lead. He knew that her feelings were hurt
whenever he would say, “I love you” only after she had said it herself. But his heart was still
healing from her rejection.

The song ended and she pulled away from his embrace. “I have to go talk to Lavender about
something. I'll catch up with you later.” She said with a smile and a peck on the cheek. Then
she disappeared into the crowd, leaving him alone on the dance floor.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“This has to work!” Lavender said, smiling from ear to ear.

“I hope so.” Hermione said, glancing over towards Harry, who looked as if he was scanning the
crowd for her.

Hermione was crouched down next to Lavender who was seated at the wedding party table. She had
just divulged her plan to completely win Harry back to her friend. Lavender had only been too happy
to hear of the plan and she was determined to help Hermione and Harry get back to where they
were.

“Ok, you know what to do. I'm going to go off and change.” Hermione whispered, and off she
went.

She crept around the side of the house where no one could notice her change. Minutes later she
trotted back over to Lavender. Lavender tied a small note to her wrist and Hermione once again
hurried off, but this time in search of Harry.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Harry had sat down to wait for Hermione to return and when Ron showed up and began chatting.
After a minute or two, Lavender called Ron onto the dance floor and Harry was once again left
alone.

He began to search the crowds again for Hermione, but he couldn't find her anywhere. Just as
he was about to get up to go search for her, a bushy brown fox trotted up and jumped up into
Harry's lap. Startled, Harry cursed loudly. He tried to get the animal to get off of him, but
it refused to budge.

Then the fox stuck out its front paw and Harry saw that attached to it was a small piece of
parchment. Curious, Harry untied the string and unrolled the parchment. On it were two words:

*Follow me.*

“Follow you? You're just an animal. Who sent this?” Harry asked it, but immediately felt
stupid because, of course, foxes cannot talk back.

The fox jumped down off Harry's lap, scampered off a ways, and looked back as if to see if
Harry was following. He was staring at the strange fox, but hadn't budged. The fox waited a
moment and then trotted back, took the cuff of Harry's pants in its mouth and started
tugging.

“What the? Ok, OK! I'm coming!” Harry said, getting up. The fox let go and hurried off in
the direction of Harry's house. Harry followed.

The fox led Harry all the way to the back door of his cottage, which stood slightly ajar. The
fact that his door was unlocked and open didn't worry him, seeing as there was a party going on
in his garden and people were coming in and out to use the bathroom and to store personal
belongings. What worried Harry was when the fox slipped in through the crack and disappeared into
the house.

“Shit! Where are you going?” He yanked the door open. He paused, waiting for his eyes to adjust
to the dark kitchen, then saw a bushy brown tail disappear up the stairs. Cursing under his breath,
Harry ran up the stairs after the fox.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The first part of Hermione's plan had worked, now she had to move quickly to put herself in
position for part two.

Her heart was beating a mile a minute, but she felt an odd calm wash over her as she changed
from the fox into her human form again. She had kept the fact that she had become an animagus from
Harry for this specific reason. She knew that her plan would work, or at least she hoped.

She jumped as she heard Harry's footsteps reach the top of the stairs and get closer to the
bedroom door. Then the door opened . . .

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

And Harry saw Hermione standing in the middle of his bedroom, naked. Stunned, he couldn't
vocalize the question that begged to be asked.

Hermione giggled when she saw the look on his face and said, “Looking for someone?”

Harry grunted his response. Finally he gathered his senses and said, “Did you see a fox come in
here?”

Hermione giggled, stepped back, and instantly changed back into the brown fox that Harry had
been chasing after. Harry's eyes bulged and his jaw dropped. He didn't know Hermione was an
animagus, and he certainly didn't know she could be this manipulative, in a sexy way of
course.

The fox jumped up onto the bed and instantly turned back into the beautiful woman Hermione had
become. She leaned back on one arm, her legs bent to one side, and silently beckoned Harry nearer
with her eyes. He could feel himself harden just from the site of her sitting there.

Finally words found him. “You know, you didn't have to go to all that trouble to get me to
come up here.” He said with his crooked smile.

“Oh, I know. I just wanted tonight to be special, and I wanted to surprise you.” Hermione
smiled.

“Oh, I'm surprised alright.” He said, approaching the bed. “You are one crafty fox.”

“Why, thank you.” She said. She patted the spot on the bed next to her, motioning for him to sit
next to her. He sat. She rose up onto her knees, positioned herself behind him, and began kneading
his shoulders. He groaned as her hands worked out the knots and stress from the last few weeks that
had built up in his neck and shoulders.

“Harry, I had one other motive to get you up here alone tonight.” Hermione said after a few
minutes. Harry could sense that she was nervous; her voice was soft and higher than usual. He
turned to face her.

“What's wrong.” He asked, concerned.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She paused. *Why does this have to be so hard?*

“Harry, you and I have been together now for a while, but both you and I know that its just not
the same as it was before. . .you know. . .” Hermione paused again and looked down at her hands,
which lay in her lap now.

“Before you said you wouldn't marry me.” Harry said awkwardly.

“I never said I wouldn't! I said I couldn't!” Her voice got even higher and a lot
louder. She didn't want to fight with Harry now so she quickly calmed down. “I told you that it
was impractical to marry so young, but I never said I didn't want to.”

“Well, you could have made that a little more clear.” Harry said callously.

Hermione closed her eyes, breathed deeply, and counted to ten. “Harry, please. I don't want
to argue. All of that is in the past. All that matters is our future and where it takes us. That is
why I brought you here.”

Harry looked at her and his hard features softened. “Alright. I'm sorry, Hermione. I
shouldn't have said that.” He sighed.

“Its alright. Now, can I get on with why we are here?” She said with a small smile that, the
noticed, revealed that she was hiding something.

“And what would that be?” Harry smiled back.

Hermione was once again on her hands and knees on the bed with an evil grin on her face. She
pulled him down onto the bed and straddled him. “Remember my diary?” She said playfully.

“Of course. How could I forget?” He said, sounding a little confused.

“Well, I have a new entry. I had a dream the other night and its been haunting me ever since.”
She leaned down and whispered the last few words into his ear. At these words she could feel him
grow hard through his pants material.

“Oh yeah?” His voice came out a croak.

“Yeah. It was about you and me. I thought we could act it out, you know, like old times.” She
said, removing his bowtie and beginning to unbutton his tux shirt.

“Mm hmm.” He moaned as she rubbed her arse against the bulge in his pants.

“You were in a tux. . .” She kissed his throat. “I was in a soft, flowy dress. . .” She kissed
along his collarbone. “I was slowly walking towards you. . .” She kissed behind his ear. “And. .
.”

“And?” Harry said breathily.

Hermione looked Harry strait in the eye and said, “And. . .We got married.”

“What?” Harry sat up quickly, looking confused.

“I had a dream we got married Harry. I know that I hurt you a year ago, Harry. But I never
stopped loving you. I have always loved you. I have been thinking about this for a long time and I
think. . .I know that I am ready now. I am ready to take that step with you, Harry. If the offer
still stands. . .” Hermione's eyes pleaded with Harry's.

“Are you asking me to marry you?” He said slowly.

“Yes.” She whispered meekly.

“I don't know, Hermione. So much has happened. . .” He turned away from her, sitting on the
edge of the bed once more.

“I know. . .” Hermione said, tears starting to stream down her face. She had lost him. She
didn't know what to do now. *I am such an idiot.*

“Oh, Hermione! Don't cry.” Harry said, turning towards her again and putting his arm around
her still naked shoulders.

“But you don't love me anymore!” She let out a great sob and buried her face in his
neck.

Harry burst into laughter! Hermione looked into his eyes, confusion etched on her face. She
didn't understand why he was laughing at her.

“This is so unbelievable! First you break my heart by telling me you cant marry me. Then a year
later, you lure me up here for sex, then stand here naked and propose to me.” He laughs even harder
at this. Hermione could feel her face flushing. Why was this so funny to him? Why couldn't he
just say no and leave her like normal guys. Did he have to mock her pain? “This is going to be a
great story to tell our grandchildren.”

“Our what?” She gasped.

“Our grandchildren. You know, the ones we'll have when our children grow up and get
married.” He said, his eyes sparkling.

“Our children? You mean. . .?” Tears filled her eyes again, but this time they were tears of
joy.

“The children we have when we are married. Yes. Hermione Granger, I will marry you. I have
always wanted to marry you. I was just waiting until you let me know you were ready. I just never
imagined you'd do it like this.” Harry smiled and laughed again.

Hermione smiled and laughed as well. No words came to her. She was just so relieved and overjoyed
that he still loved her and still wanted to marry her that she couldn't speak. She threw her
arms around his neck and kissed him deeply.

“I love you.” She whispered when the kiss broke.

“I love you too. Now what are we going to do about the fact that you're naked and I am as
hard as a rock?” He said, looking down between them at the bulge in his pants.

“Oh, leave that to me.” She said, pushing him down on the bed again. “I'll take care of you.
Tonight, and the rest of my life.”

“And I'll make all your dreams come true, future Mrs. Hermione Potter.” He winked and kissed
her.

“Promise?” She said, grinning.

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