Sword and Shield

PhoenixFirebolt

Rating: PG
Genres: Drama, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 24/05/2005
Last Updated: 24/05/2005
Status: completed

One-shot. "If I could take all your pain away right now, if I could face Voldemort myself right now, knowing I would die but you would live, I would do it without a second thought. That’s what my love is for you, Harry. Wanting to willingly take your pain and exchange places with you."

Chapters

1. Sword and Shield

1. Sword and Shield

Disclaimer: Everything in the Harry Potter world belongs to JK Rowling and the song is Sister Hazel's. I'm simply borrowing for my enjoyment. :)

Author's Note: I know not many people are into song fics so I'd like to say this technically isn't one. I based this one-shot off of a song and I have the lyrics in the beginning but I don't want to call it a song-fic, it seems to have a lot more to it. This story is written in a bit of a different style from what I usually write and, I don't even know how to describe it, it's just different. I don't know how many people will like it but I listened to the Sister Hazel song over and over again and this is what I came up with. I've wanted to use this song for a long time in a story and seemed best to fit into the H/Hr world. This is a one-shot so don't expect a sequel. Some of you may not like the ending but I think I gave enough information for you guys to guess what happens. I'm actually quite proud of this little one-shot so even if none of you like it, I'm glad I wrote it. Again, in my opinion it's a bit different from my other stories but I hope you enjoy it all the same. :)
I will be posting an update to Heirs of Hogwarts soon. I was actually going to complete chapter 30 tonight but this plot bunny wouldn't leave my head until I finished it. I'm guessing some of you know the feeling. I promise to try and have it updated tomorrow.
Please review and I hope you enjoy this little random read.
PhoenixFirebolt

Sword and Shield

Just when the sky runs out of rain
Just when the sun runs out of light
Just when the earth is ill with pain
Just when your body is out of fight
I will be there
I will be the smallest piece in everything
And I would give my life before I break this promise to you

Melt in to me
Don't you want to be the ones that last forever
I'll be your everlasting
And enemies they take your will but they won't last forever
I'll be your sword and shield and
I'll be your sword
I'll be your shield

Just when the ocean starts to dry
Just when the air is sick with smoke
Just when the statues start to cry
And fallen angels they lay broken
I will be there
I will be the smallest piece in everything
And I would lose my life before I break this promise to you

Melt in to me
Don't you want to be the ones that last forever
I'll be your everlasting
And enemies they take your peace but they won't last forever
I'll be your sword and shield and
I'll be your sword
I'll be your shield

I'll be your gracious angel
I'll be your favorite stranger
I'll be the mortar holding your walls
I'll be your army

Just when the sky runs out of rain
Just when the sun runs out of light
Just when the earth is ill with pain
Just when your body is out of fight
I will be there
I will be the smallest piece in everything
And I would give my life before I break this promise to you

Melt in to me
Don't you want to be the ones that last forever
I'll be your everlasting
And enemies they take your peace but they wont last forever
I'll be your sword and shield and
I'll be your sword
I'll be your shield
I'll be your sword
I'll be your shield
I'll be your army

- Sister Hazel "Sword and Shield"

Hermione Granger sat under the great oak tree that stood by the wide lake on the grounds of Hogwarts. Dried tear marks were on cheeks and more glistened in her eyes. She raised her hand and wiped at her face as a fresh tear coursed downward. A light breeze came up and whipped her long, bushy brown hair in her eyes, causing her to sigh deeply and tuck the unruly strands behind her ears. The sun was beginning to set on a warm day in April of her seventh year at Hogwarts and it was a beautiful sight but Hermione could find no beauty in it. All she felt was pain….and a deep sadness.

Just a few hours earlier, she had been sitting in the Gryffindor Common Room, enjoying an unusual night of being homework free. Deciding to take a break from her N.E.W.T studies as well, Hermione had grabbed her knitting needles and starting making more hats for the house elves. She had refused to give up on S.P.E.W even though it almost seemed pointless now. More than anything, she knit to calm herself down. Tensions were running high at Hogwarts, especially because it seemed the War had reached a new peak and time’s were darker than ever.

Everyone else seemed to want to lighten the mood as well. Ron and Seamus had been playing a grueling round of Wizard’s Chess for about an hour. Ginny and Neville were in one of the corners going over the latest D.A. meeting. The Creevey brothers had been pouring over a ton of new photos they had taken that week, some quite embarrassing to a few people. Lavender and Parvati were gossiping away. Everything was normal.

Including Harry Potter was no where to be seen.

Harry had been disappearing at odd times from the Common Room for two years now. He left without a word and came back without a word, simply going up to his dormitory to sleep. Hermione was extremely worried about him but she hardly let on, though she did nag him about it quite often. This seemed to annoy Harry greatly and he took to disappearing even more often. Ron had been furious at Hermione for causing an even moodier Harry and they got into a huge row about it half way through sixth year. It had given Hermione a reason to break up with Ron, a better excuse than her real reason.

Hermione sighed and dropped her head. The rustling of the tree’s leaves caused her to pick her head up again and stare out at the lake blankly. Earlier that evening, everything had been fine…..until Harry had returned. With a strange expression on his face he had dragged both her and Ron out of the Common Room and to the Room of Requirement. Both had been silent as Harry had paced the room, knowing that whatever had been bothering Harry for the past two years was about to finally be revealed to them.

Then Harry had spoken the worst words possible. In a monotone voice and no emotion in his eyes, he repeated the words of the dreaded Prophecy that had shattered in the Department of Mysteries. As he finished, Hermione had tears in her eyes and Ron was speechless. The full weight of Harry’s destiny seemed to suddenly rest on Hermione’s shoulders and she had fled the room, without a backwards glance at either Harry or Ron.

She knew it was wrong to run but she couldn’t deal with it any other way. The words of the Prophecy were like a knife to her heart, each one piercing it even more. The Prophecy meant death and murder, but whether either part belonged to Harry or Voldemort was unknown. It was an unknown that Hermione could hardly stand.

Leaning forward, Hermione wept into her hands, shocking even herself because she thought she had run out of tears. Harry couldn’t die, he just couldn’t. He had come to mean more to her than anyone else in the world. He meant so much to her it scared her. Even though he had become cold and distant in the past couple of years, he still held her heart as tightly as ever. Yes, Hermione Granger loved Harry Potter.

She barely remembered when she started thinking of it as love. All Hermione knew is that one day she had looked at Harry and she had known. She knew that she would do anything for him. She knew she wanted to protect him. She knew she would die for him. She knew she could live forever with him but also would die if he died. Harry Potter was her love, that was what she knew.

Harry didn’t know though. He didn’t allow anyone to get close enough to him to allow that. After his disaster with Cho Chang, Harry had stopped dating, saying it was dangerous for any girl, or any one for that matter, to get close to him. He had pushed everyone away, including her and Ron. So Harry was blinded, not seeing the one girl who loved him above everything else standing right in front of him. And though Hermione loved him, she hid it well. Now she was wondering if that had been a smart choice.

“…he will have powers the Dark Lord knows not.”

Hermione whispered the most puzzling words of the Prophecy to herself. Looking to the darkening sky, she begged for answers to it. Her only response was a light rain falling all around her.

The truth was, deep down, she knew what those words meant. She could feel in her heart what they meant. The power the Dark Lord knows not. Something Voldemort could never acquire no matter how much he studied the Dark Arts. One simple word that could be his downfall. Love.

Love was the power the Dark Lord knew not. He could never understand or feel it because it had all left his body when he had bowed to evil and succumbed to darkness. But Harry….Harry could understand love. His parents had sacrificed themselves out of love for him. Sirius had died for Harry out of love. Dumbledore had sheltered Harry from the truth out of love. And Harry had risked his life for others because of the goodness and love he possessed in his body.

But Harry claimed to not know or understand love at all. Though his body was filled with it, he knew not how to handle it. If Harry could not feel the love within him, then he would fall and Voldemort would rise. Hermione could not let that happen though. Harry had to live. Even if she had to teach him about love herself, he would live. Even if he didn’t love her back in the way she did him, just letting him know that someone loved him with everything they had, it just might give him the final power he needed most desperately.

Hermione watched the rain fall and the sun set. She smiled through her tears. She would tell Harry of her love for him and hopefully it would change everything. The power of knowing of a love that existed could be the most helpful thing she could ever give him.

She stood up and brushed her jeans off. The last rays of the sun burst over the horizon as the rain slowly ceased. Making a promise to herself and Harry, Hermione walked back to the castle, intent on finding the one she would fight for to the end.

…………………

Hermione made her way back to the Room of Requirement, which she noted with relief, was still in use. Turning the knob slowly, she made her way into the room, which looked very much like the Gryffindor Common Room. Sitting by himself, staring into space, Harry glanced over in surprise as she made her way over to him.

Kneeling down in front of him, Hermione grabbed his hands with her own as Harry looked at her in confusion.

“I’m sorry for running,” she said softly.

Harry shook his head. “It’s fine. I understand why you did it. I wish I could run away from it.”

He looked away from her penetrating gaze, feeling suddenly self-conscious.

“Don’t say that, Harry. You know you have to do this.”

Narrowing his eyes angrily, he tried to pull his hands from her grasp but found her clutching on much stronger than he thought. Growling at her, his eyes flashing, he snapped out at her.

“Oh, is that the advice I get from the all knowing Hermione Granger? I know I have to do this. I know I have to fight. It’s why I’m leaving tomorrow.”

Choking back a sob at Harry’s crushing words, Hermione only gripped his hands tighter, fearing he would suddenly disappear in front of her.

“Not yet,” she rasped out, “not yet. I have to tell you something first.”

Curiosity on his face once more, Harry said, “Did I say I was leaving now? I said tomorrow.”

Hermione licked her dry lips and ignored the biting comment. Harry was angry, he had every right to be. He was about to either be a killer or be killed himself. And Harry always dealt with issues by being angry.

“There is something you must know before you go, Harry. I know what the one line in the Prophecy means. The power he knows not. It-”

Harry cut her off sharply. “I know. Dumbledore told me. My heart and all that bloody love that’s in me somewhere.”

Hermione sighed and shifted. “It is love, Harry. And it’s in you. You’re just too blind to see it.”

Harry stiffened at her comment and this time managed to pull away from her, standing up and moving over to one of the windows in the room. Hermione stood as well and watched him silently, waiting for an explosion.

“I know what love is,” he finally said harshly. “Apparently I have loved everyone who has died because I risked my life to save them. I know about love, Hermione. So what is new in what you’re saying?”

Hermione took a step toward him. “You may know about love, Harry, but have you ever had someone tell you that they love you?”

Harry froze at her words and closed his eyes, processing her meaning. “What are you saying, Hermione?” he whispered.

She took another step toward him. “You say you love people, Harry. I know you do. You love your friends and are willing to die to protect them or else you wouldn’t chase after Voldemort to stop him from harming them any further. But do you know what it’s like to feel that love reciprocated? Has anyone ever said ‘I love you’ to you before? All that love you have, have you ever felt it back? Do you think that maybe that is what you’re missing?”

“Again, Hermione, what are you saying?” His voice sounded so tired now, and worn. Hermione felt tears rush to her eyes once more.

“I…” she started, stumbling over her words. “I love you.”

Her spoken confession hung in the air between them, causing everything to stop and for Hermione to just stare at Harry, willing him to turn around and look at her. She was scared though, oh so scared.

He finally turned around and faced her, disbelief clouding his eyes. Hermione’s fists were clenched and she closed her eyes, trying to stop the tears.

“Why…..why do you say that? You can’t love me. I don’t believe you,” Harry muttered.

Hermione’s eyes flew open and she gave Harry a hard look. “But I do love you. I’ve loved you for so long. I don’t know why I love you. I can’t put an explanation to my love but I do know that I love you. I would do anything for you. I would die for you.”

She ended in a whisper and stared at the floor. Harry was in front of her in barely a second.

“Don’t say that!” he said through clenched teeth. “Don’t say you’d die for me when I’m the one going off to fight.”

Hermione felt anger course through her veins at his words and she shocked both of them when she raised her hand and slapped him. Harry stumbled back and grabbed his cheek, first bewilderment then his own anger crossing his face.

“How dare you!” she said in a deadly whisper. “How dare you say that you can go off and fight and maybe die but I can’t be willing to die for you! If you’re so willing to die because you have a destiny to fulfill and love for all the people in your life, allow me the chance to think the same. I would die for you, Harry. If I could take all your pain away right now, if I could face Voldemort myself right now, knowing I would die but you would live, I would do it without a second thought. That’s what my love is for you, Harry. Wanting to willingly take your pain and exchange places with you. I love you too much to see you die and I can hardly bear the thought of you never returning.”

At his silence, Hermione stepped closer to him and continued. “But I can’t replace you, Harry, as much as I want to, this is something you have to do. As much as I would die for you, I can’t stop you from going. But I wanted to give you the knowledge that I do love you and if I could be there, I would. So, when you’re fighting Voldemort and you’re feeling yourself falling and losing, remember, I am there, I’m with you. My love for you is with you and will be the part of me that is there to protect you. I will be everything around you that is full of love that is there to keep you from dying. I will be there, Harry.”

She stopped again and a small smile played on her lips. “In essence, I will be the sword and the shield that will keep you from dying. You don’t have to love me back but going to face Voldemort with you knowing that I love you with everything I possess, that is a promise I can give you. I will be a part of you on the battlefield. And I will never break that promise.”

Harry was staring at her with the same dumbfounded expression on his face. Hermione just smiled sadly at him. Slowly, she turned to leave. When her hand was on the door, she turned her head and cast him one last look.

“I’ll be waiting for you, Harry, no matter what your answer is to me.”

And she slipped out of the Room of Requirement, Harry having never moved from his spot.

He stayed up the entire night, pondering over every word she said. Confusion and wonderment were the main emotions he felt. He couldn’t believe that Hermione loved him. Him, of all people. She was willing to sacrifice herself for him, just like his parents had done all those years before. No one, but them, had ever shown the kind of love he had craved for all these years. Now Hermione was willingly handing over her heart to him, when he had all but turned his back on her completely.

He guessed that he had loved Hermione for years now but he had never acknowledged the feeling. It was foreign to him, being able to love someone that deeply. He never thought it was possible nor did he think it was possible for someone to love him back in that way. He hadn’t been the nicest person the past couple years and the fact that Hermione had loved him through his darkest times made his heart swell with something.

Harry shifted on the couch and stared into the fire, searching his mind for answers. He was still trying to comprehend the fact that Hermione loved him, was willing to die for him. She was willing to be all the love he needed to fulfill the Prophecy, even if he felt nothing for her in return besides friendship. Love like that had to be real. He was sorry he ever doubted her and hung his head in shame.

As the sun started to shine through the window, Harry rose. He had to see Hermione before he left. He didn’t know what he would say to her, but he had to see her. It was his only chance.

…………………

As Hermione descended the stairs from her dormitory that morning, she didn’t know what to expect. Now that the remembrance of her confession had sunk in, she was nervous. But Harry was gone…..

Or so she thought. She clapped a hand to her mouth in shock when she saw Harry waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs, still in the same clothes from the day before. His eyes were unreadable but watching her unwaveringly. Biting her lip in worry, she stopped a few steps above him.

“Hi, Harry,” she greeted quietly.

“Hermione,” he responded, nodding.

“I thought you’d be gone by now,” she continued.

He shook his head. “No, no. Not yet. Later I will be though. I think we need to talk some more though, don’t you think?”

Harry tilted his head and kept watching her, making her feel more nervous. She finally nodded, bouncing down the last few steps.

“Yes, that might be a good idea. Do you want to go down to the lake or stay here?”

“Why don’t we stay here,” Harry said, walking toward the couches already.

Hermione sighed, hoping that no one else would come down and witness this conversation. She had no idea what Harry wanted to say to her. He was like a wall to her, devoid of emotions at the moment.

Seating herself on the same couch as him but keeping her distance, Hermione turned her body to him and waited. Harry had his hands in his lap and was staring at the floor, obviously contemplating what he wanted to say to her. Fear of rejection settled into her mind but she shoved that away angrily. She loved him and even a rejection from Harry wouldn’t stop that.

“Did you mean what you said yesterday?” Harry finally said softly.

Hermione’s eyes widened and she felt hurt by his doubt. “Of course I did. That’s why I said it. I wouldn’t lie to you, Harry.”

Harry sighed. “I know. It’s just….I’m having trouble with understanding it. I believe you though. I guess you do love me.”

He finally looked up at her and Hermione gasped at the tears swimming in his emerald eyes. She inched a little closer to him before stopping, unwilling to touch him but aching to at the same time. He watched her calmly yet sadly before looking once more at the floor.

“It’s hard for me to understand a love like that,” he said, “even though I’m sure my parents loved me deeply. The problem with that is I don’t remember my parents loving me. I don’t remember them saying ‘I love you’ to me. I don’t remember any of it. My mother sacrificed her life in front of me but all I remember is a green light. For the people that have apparently loved me greatly, they are the ones I barely remember.”

Harry paused, looking up once more. “But then there is you. You, Hermione, who has been by my side since our first year. You stuck by me through everything, never once leaving. You’ve sacrificed yourself more than once for me in some many ways. When everyone else turned their backs on me, you were there, supporting me…and…and loving me.”

His face became anguished and he choked back a sob. “But I was too consumed with my self-hatred and guilt that I ignored everything you did for me. I didn’t pay attention and I realize now how many times I could have lost you, how many times you could have walked away. I don’t think I ever would have forgiven myself if you had left me. I don’t think I could have lived without you by my side, constantly nagging me and being the conscious in my head. I realized I need you, more than anyone else, I need you.”

He gazed into her eyes and Hermione’s breath hitched, tears falling from her eyes.

“You are the person that keeps me going, keeps me living. You are the reason I’ve kept fighting and fought death. Even when you weren’t physically there, you were there with me in other ways, emotionally and mentally. You’ve never left me, ever. And even though I don’t deserve you, you’ve willingly given your love to me. And that…that knowledge that you love me has made me feel something different, something I’ve never felt for any other person.”

Hermione waited for his next words with bated breath, hardly believing what Harry was saying to her. Slowly, he moved down the couch toward her until he was sitting right next to her. Their eyes were still locked and Harry reached out and grabbed her hand in his.

“I think….no, I know that what I feel for you is, it has to be, love.”

Hermione gasped but a smile crossed her lips. Harry smiled back, the sparkle that had been gone for so long from his eyes starting to return. They clenched their hands tighter together, never once breaking eye contact.

“I don’t know if I can say it fully yet, Hermione,” Harry said quietly, “but know that what I feel for you is deep and real. And know that I will have you with me out there against Voldemort. What is it that you said? Oh yes….you’ll be my sword and shield.”

Hermione laughed under her breath as Harry smiled once more.

“Very poetic of me,” she said.

Harry nodded. “Oh yes, everything you said to me was. But I’m glad you said it, I needed to hear it. I needed to hear that someone loved me, even though I didn’t really know that I craved it so much until the moment you said it.”

“I love you, Harry,” she whispered, leaning a little closer.

He shut his eyes, feeling an energy ripple through him. The knowledge of a love that was pure and true. As he reopened his eyes, Hermione lifted her hand to his face and gently stroked his cheek. He sighed and leaned his forehead up against hers.

“I’ll return just for this, to feel this. For this love you are giving me. I guess I can consider you an angel that has saved me and become a part of me now. I want us to be the ones that last forever, the ones people will remember always. I want this love to last forever.”

“It will, Harry, it will,” Hermione said against his cheek. “I know you’ll come back. Light and love will prevail over darkness. I promised you, I told you I would keep you from dying. I’m not breaking it now.”

Harry backed away from her a little bit. “I know, and I trust you.”

He then leaned back in but this time, his lips met Hermione’s in a very gentle but loving kiss. Harry may not have said ‘I love you’ verbally to her, but Hermione could feel it through his kiss. It was all she needed. She was loved in return by him. He could now defeat Voldemort.

They separated slowly, breathing a little more ragged. They smiled once more at each other, the new found love glimmering in their eyes. Harry rose from his seat and held out his hand, helping Hermione up. They hugged each other tightly, afraid to let go but knowing they had to. The time had come for Harry to leave, but he knew he would return. He wouldn’t have it any other way.

Harry pulled away and gave Hermione another kiss. He released her and backed away, headed for the portrait entrance.

“I’ll see you soon, Hermione,” he whispered.

She smiled, not crying this time. “I know. You will return to me. I love you.”

Harry smiled and nodded before turning and leaving to face his destiny.

Hermione stared at where he had once been for several minutes. No sadness filled her though and no tears fell from her eyes. Harry would return. He had love on his side.