Can't Escape Love

deppfan56

Rating: R
Genres: Romance, Humor
Relationships: Lily & James
Book: Lily & James, Books 1 - 5
Published: 30/05/2005
Last Updated: 30/10/2005
Status: in_progress

Love isn't supposed to be logical and thought out, James. You never know when it’ll come creeping up and grab you. No one can escape love…not even you.” -- AU! R&R! R for later chapters

Chapters

1. of badges and responsibilities

2. of shocks and surprises

3. of pranks and flirting

4. of denial and misunderstandings

5. of hate and love

6. of fights and understandings

1. of badges and responsibilities

A/N: hey guys! Ok, this is just another story I decided to write. It's gonna be long-ish. Um…it's an AU story about L/J. They're friends in this one, not enemies. So there won't be any love/hate going on. Ok well..enjoy!

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James Potter was your average seventeen-year-old wizard. He loved playing pranks, hanging out with his friends, and just enjoying life. Standing at about 6 feet tall, James was extremely good looking. With his unkempt black hair and warm hazel eyes, James was easily one of the best looking guys at Hogwarts, where he would soon be starting his seventh and final year.

As flattering as all the attention was, James tried not to get too seriously involved with any girl. If he dated, it was only for a short amount of time and never got too attached. See, the thing is that James doesn't believe in love. He feels that it is a waste of time and energy. He has no intention what so ever of attempting to figure out the female species. In his mind, it's hopeless case. Nope, James is much better of alone, with no one to worry about but himself.

Too bad his parents had other plans for him. They were constantly bothering him about finding a girl to love and marry. Now, he loved his parents very much, but enough was enough! James knew that he had to marry one day, to “carry on the Potter blood-line” as his father put it, but he had decided to leave that up to his parents. He would marry, but only if it were arranged.

Escaping this insanity was one of the reasons why he was looking forward to going back to school so much. That and also he would see his three best friends again, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. Yup, life was good for James Potter. He had just been made head boy of Hogwarts, he was the top student in his year, and he had three of the best friends a guy could ask for. At the moment, James was attempting to shut his trunk, which was haphazardly packed with clothes, books and other school supplies. Just as he heard the “click” of the top, he heard a loud voice bellowing up the stairs.

“Oh Jamsie-boy! Come downstairs so I can see that spiffy new head boy badge of yours!” yelled James' best friend, Sirius Black.

Sirius had lived with James' family ever since their second year at Hogwarts until last summer, when he had bought a flat of his own. Along with James, Sirius was easily one of the best looking guys at Hogwarts. With his black hair that fell irresistibly into his entrancing dark blue eyes, it was no wonder that he had girls throwing themselves at him constantly.

It would be a lie to say that he didn't enjoy the attention. Sirius seemed to always be with a different girl and didn't really mind his reputation as a player. No, Sirius' philosophy was that you're only young once and should enjoy life while you can.

At hearing Sirius' words, James just rolled his eyes and made his way down the hall and down the stairs.

“I still can't believe that Dumbledore made you head boy. What was he thinking? Was he even thinking? I mean, we've been in detention almost every week since first year! You weren't even a prefect! You're about as responsible as I am…which is not at all…” James just laughed at Sirius' confusion.

Truthfully, James had had the same thoughts when he first received the badge. He always thought that Remus would get it. Remus had been prefect since fifth year, and was always the rational one among the group of friends. He was always the voice of reason if Sirius and James were getting too out of control and always made sure their pranks didn't cause any harm to anyone.

Remus was a great student and also quite a success with the ladies. He went for the polite, gentleman approach. With his sandy blond hair and comforting light blue eyes, all the girls were drawn to him. He didn't date as much as Sirius did, but always had longer relationships. He treated all the girls with respect and was always very kind to them. Remus was also at James' house a lot over the summer. Right now, however, he was probably at home packing for the train ride back to school tomorrow.

As James reached the bottom of the stairs, he could hear noises coming from the kitchen. “Typical Sirius,” he thought with a slight chuckle, “always heads straight to the kitchen.” As he rounded the corner and entered the kitchen, James saw Sirius perched comfortably on the counter munching on an apple.

“Took you long enough” he said through a mouthful. “What the bloody hell were you doing up there for so long? Putting on make-up? Merlin, prongs! My sister takes less time to get ready!”

“Ok! Ok! Calm down! I was just finishing up packing for school. There's just so much stuff to take, I don't know where to put it all!”

“Ya, I know what you mean. “ Sirius replied. “so let me see that badge just so I know it really is true, and you really are the head boy.” James rolled his eyes and retrieved the badge from his back pocket. Sirius took it from him and held it as if it would break any second. Suddenly, his face lit up with a huge smile.

“James! This is brilliant! With you being head boy, we can get away with anything! No more detentions! No more curfews! No more…”

“Woah, woah, hold on padfoot. I think you're forgetting something.”

“What? No I'm not. And don't give me that shit about you having responsibilities now and having to grow up. Please, a piece of plastic pinned to your robes is not going to change you.”

“No, its not the responsibility. But think about it…I'm head boy…so naturally, there has to be a…” Sirius just stared blankly at James for a few seconds. And then it dawned on him.

“Since you're head boy, there must be a head girl.” He said dejectedly. He had not seen that one coming. “So we're still going to have to watch our steps? Well, that just took all the fun out of you being head boy. Hmmm…I wonder who the head girl could be” he pondered, momentarily forgetting his disappointment. “do you have any ideas James?”

“I haven't really thought about it, but now that I do, it's probably going to be Lily. I mean she's the smartest witch in our year and she has always been a great role model for the younger years.”

Lily Evans was one of the girls in James' and Sirius' year at Hogwarts. His family has been very close friends with Lily's family for a very long time. Though wizarding families normally didn't become close with muggle families, the Potters and Evans' were exceptions.

James and Lily had always been pretty close friends ever since they were kids. She was almost like a female version of Remus, responsible and sensible, but still fun to be around. Lily was a stunning girl. She had fiery red hair, bright, almond shaped emerald eyes, and all the right curves in all the right places.

Lily and James could not have been more different. While James avoided love at all costs, Lily was patiently waiting for her prince charming. She dreamt of the perfect guy that would sweep her off her feet and take her away. Lily had no problem finding guys to date, as she was almost always surrounded by them, but had yet to find that one guy that made everything seem perfect, that made her go weak in the knees, and made her feel safe. No, Lily Evans was still looking for true love.

“yeah, you're probably right” Sirius answered, looking thoughtful. “Well Lily's not bad, she would let us get away with stuff…wouldn't she? I mean she usually doesn't care when we do pranks …she even helps out sometimes”

“That's true. If I had a choice, I would definitely pick Lily as head girl. She would do a great job.”

“Ooooo what's this…does my Jamie have a crush on someone?” teased Sirius with a sly smile on his face.

“Please Sirius, how many times do we have to go through this? Lily is my friend. I've known her since we were in diapers. And I don't get crushes. There is no such thing as love and I refuse to think otherwise. Falling in love is just not for me. “ James said defiantly. “And don't call me Jamie!” he added as an afterthought.

Sirius sighed in defeat. There was no arguing with this one. James was probably the most stubborn person in the entire world…maybe with the exception of Lily. Even as he sat there, munching on his apple, watching James closely, he realized how well they would go together. James and Lily had always had this connection that was impossible to duplicate. Sirius couldn't come up with a name for it, but maybe, somehow, it would turn into love. He was interrupted from his thoughts as James suddenly jumped up.

“Come on. Let's go play quidditch. It's the last day of summer vacation and we should enjoy it…besides…I have to get ready for the season, and so do you." James and Sirius had both been on the Gryffindor quidditch team since second year, James as seeker and Sirius as beater. James had become captain during his sixth year.

“Ok, let's go. We're going to have to hold try-outs. We need a chaser and a beater, since Adam and Kelly graduated last year. They were excellent players, very hard to replace.

“Yeah, you're right. Hopefully we'll find some new talent that will fit well with the team. We need to win the cup this year. It's our last year and I refuse to be beat” James said with determination. “Let's go. We have lots of work to do.” So out they went, onto the quidditch field in the Potter's backyard, completely oblivious to the fact that this year, their lives would be turned completely upside down, and everything they thought would never happen, will happen.

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A/N: k well there it is, the first chapter. Review with suggestions/comments!! Please no flames! I'd much rather prefer constructive criticism. It's nicer and helps me improve. Thanks guys!

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2. of shocks and surprises

A/N: hey guys! Thanks all for reviewing!

Disclaimer: I forgot to put this in the first ch, but here it is now. I don't own anything. It all belongs to J.K. Rowling. I only own characters you don't recognize from the HP books.

Well heres the second chapter…enjoy!: ________________________________________________________________

“Lily!” yelled Mrs. Evans from downstairs. “Hurry up! Rachel and Sarah are here and we need to get to the train station!”

“Coming Mum!” replied Lily, closing her neatly packed trunk. She grabbed her owl, Tawny's cage, picked up her trunk, and made her way downstairs. As she entered the kitchen, Lily glanced around once and instantly knew they had to leave as soon as possible. There sat Petunia, her older sister, in all her glory, looking as if she would blow a fuse at her for bringing her two “freak” friends into the house. No good could come of this situation and Lily really wasn't in the mood for a confrontation. She was too excited about going back to Hogwarts for her seventh year.

“Morning everyone.” She greeted. “Rachel! Sarah! I've missed you! You guys look great!” Sarah summers, Rachel Green and Lily Evans have been best friends since they were four years old. Sarah's parents are muggles like Lily's and both their fathers work together at the insurance agency. Rachel's mother and Lily's mother are childhood friends and Rachel's father works with James' father at the ministry of magic. So the four families have been great friends for many years. Naturally, the girls befriended James' friends since you rarely saw one without the other.

“Thanks Lil!” Rachel replied, giving her a hug. “So do you! Did you do something to your hair?” Rachel was the fashion maniac of the group. Any advice you needed, Rachel was the girl to go to. She had long brown hair that fell past her shoulders in layers and large brown eyes. Rachel was slightly taller than Lily standing at about 5'6”. Though she loved looking good, she loved quidditch even more. Rachel was a chaser on the Gryffindor house team. She was slightly boy crazy, but nothing too drastic.

“No Rach, it's just the same as when you saw it two months ago!” laughed Lily. She had definitely missed her friends. “Sarah!” she exclaimed, throwing herself at her other best friend.

“Hey Lil!” Sarah said, returning the warm hug. “I've missed you too!” Sarah was the caring and sensitive one of the three friends. Not that the others weren't, Sarah was just more so. She was always willing to listen if you had a problem and never refused a chance to help someone in need. Sarah had shoulder length blonde hair and bright blue eyes. She was the shortest of the group standing at 5'3”.

“Lil! Oh my gosh! What's that!?!” gasped Rachel, pointing to a silver badge on top of Lily's trunk. She went over to pick it up before Lily had a chance to reply. “Lily!! You made head girl and didn't tell us!!” Lily just smiled sheepishly.

“Um…sorry? I guess it just slipped my mind…”

“Slipped your mind my arse” Rachel said indignantly “you just didn't want to tell us…though I don't know why, this is bloody awesome!! I'm not really surprised though, you are the smartest witch in our year, and you've been prefect since fifth year…. Anyway, congratulations! “ She said hugging Lily once more.

“Yeah congratulations Lily,” Sarah said, also hugging her. “ This is great. Do you know who the head boy is?”

“No…it'll probably be Remus though. He's smart and he's been prefect with me. It's either him or one of the Ravenclaw prefects.” Answered Lily.

“Hmmm…ya you're probably right.”

“Ok, as much as I love to see you freaks having a good time, I would love it even more if you just left and went to that freak school of yours” said a very annoyed Petunia. Petunia had always hated the magic world. Perhaps it was because she felt left out that Lily was part of this new and exciting world, and she wasn't. Whatever the reason was, Petunia had always been cold and hostile towards Lily and her friends ever since she found out she was a witch.

“Ugh, whatever. Let's go get my mum guys. We don't want to miss the train.” Lily said, turning around and walking out the door. Rachel and Sarah shrugged and followed her out the door.

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“You girls are sure you have everything you need, right?” Asked Mrs. Evans.

“Yes mum, we have everything we need” Lily replied with a roll of her eyes. Honestly, she had been going to Hogwarts for six years, you would think her mother would be used to it by now.

“Ok, well have a good year and I'll see you at Christmas. And don't get into any trouble. And make sure James and his friends stay out of trouble too.” She said, hugging each of the girls.

“Don't worry Laura” Sarah said, referring to Mrs. Evans. “We won't get into trouble. “

“Yeah, we won't get into any trouble, but there's no saying what James and co. will do. Not even Lily as head girl will be able to stop them.” Rachel added. “Don't worry though. They've never hurt anyone before…not fatally anyway”

“And they've never done any damage that couldn't be repaired before” Lily added as an after thought. Just then, the whistle of the Hogwarts Express blew, signaling that it was time to board. “Ok mum we have to go. Bye! Love you!”

“Bye girls! Have fun and be good!”

“Bye Mrs. Evans! We will!” Rachel and Sarah yelled back.

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“Lil! Sar! I found one!” Rachel bellowed, indicating an empty compartment near the end of the train. Rachel and Sarah made their way down and into the compartment. After storing their trunks above the seats, they all sat down and started catching up.

“ So Rachel, how was Aruba?” asked Sarah.

“Oh. My. God. I have never seen that many hot guys in one place before. Honestly! I didn't know which way to turn my head!” Sarah and Lily just rolled their eyes and laughed at their friend's dreamy look.

“So, in between looking at all the hot guys, did you happen to notice anything else about the place?” asked Lily.

“Shut up. And yes. The beaches are incredible. The water really is clear blue and the sand really is pearly white. I could look at my feet while standing in the water! Quite cool actually. And the hotels were absolutely gorgeous. I'd love to go back.”

“Sounds wonderful” Sarah said jealously. “I was stuck in America with my snobby cousins and crazy aunt. I didn't think the summer could end soon enough.”

“Awww, that sucks. Well it's over now and you can spend all your time with us!!” Lily exclaimed. “At least you got to go somewhere. I was stuck here…with Petunia going on and on about some guy she's dating.” She said with disgust. “Honestly, who would date that horse of a girl!” she shuddered. Rachel and Sarah were laughing at what Lily had said when she suddenly remembered something. “Shit! I have to go to the heads compartment! The head boy and I have to lead a prefects meeting. I'll see you guys in a bit” and she ran out of the compartment, hoping she wouldn't be late. Lily hated to make a bad first impression.

She reached the compartment only slightly out of breath. She pushed back her hair, took a deep breath and slowly opened the door. Nothing could have prepared her for what she saw. Sitting in a chair, with his feet propped up on the table, sat none other than James Potter.

“James?!?” she exclaimed, utterly confused. “What are you doing here? This is not the time or place for a prank! We haven't even gotten to school yet! Don't even…”

“Lily!!” James interrupted “Stop! I'm not playing a prank! First, I know this isn't the right place, second, I NEVER play pranks without my friends, and third it's really nice to see you too!!” he said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Lily sighed, walked over to James and hugged him. “It's nice to see you too. How was your summer? I hope you and Sirius didn't give your parents too hard of a time.”

James, returning the hug said “hey! I resent that! I'm an absolute angel! I don't cause trouble…I merely make life interesting!”

Laughing, Lily pulled away. “Mhmm. Suuuure you do.” She said teasingly. “I still don't know what you're doing here. I'm supposed to meet the head boy here and organize the prefect meeting.”

“Well let's get started then” James said with a twinkle in his eye.

“You mean…You're…What was…How did…what! That doesn't make any sense” a completely bewildered Lily said. “You can't be the head boy. You weren't even a prefect! You're always in detention! I bet you're responsible for most of the gray hairs on McGonagall's head!” she cried.

“ Wow, I never knew you thought so highly of me, Lily.” James smirked. “But yes. It is my grave duty to inform you that I have indeed been appointed head boy. He said, taking on the persona of a reporter. “ Believe me Lil. I was thinking the same things when I first found out. But I guess it could be cool.” Lily opened her mouth to say something but never got the chance.

“And don't worry dear Lilykins. I promise not to make you do all the work. I'll do my half of it. I'll prove to you and all the teachers that I, James Potter, am capable of responsibility.”

“Well. I never thought I'd see the day when you vowed to be responsible.” Lily said, sitting down. “But ok. I'll take your word for it. But don't think for one second that I'm going to let you slack off. You may be one of my best friends, but you still have to work.”

“ I promise. I won't let you down.” James said, also sitting down.

“ Good. Now what do we have to do?” Lily asked, looking around as if the answers were somewhere on the walls.

“ What?!? You mean neither one of us knows what to do? Oh no.” he said putting his head down on the table.

“Merlin you're such a baby” Lily said rolling her eyes and getting up, effectively missing the glare sent to her by James. “ The instructions are all right over there in that binder on the table.” She picked it up and brought it over to James. Opening it, she saw that it had all the things they had to talk to the prefects about and the different duties they had to assign.

“ Come on” she said. “Let's figure this out and go talk to the prefects. I want to get this over with so I can get back to Rach and Sar.”

“Ok lets go.” James replied, getting up. “I have to get back to Sirius, Remus and Peter too.”

Forty-five minutes later, the meeting was over and all the prefects were leaving the compartment. “Hey Lil, you wanna get Rachel and Sarah and come sit with us? We haven't seen you guys all summer.” James asked, opening the door for Lily.

“Ya sure. I'll go get them.” She said, walking down the hall.

Once the girls reached the boys' compartment, they were all greeted warmly. Sirius jumped up and gave each of them bone-crushing hugs.

“Ow Sirius! I can't breath” choked out Rachel “I know you're glad to see me and all, but killing me is no way of showing it.” Sirius let go of her and she instantly began trying to recover her breath.

“Please forgive me my fair lady, “ Sirius began, dramatically. “I have missed you so and find it hard to control my emotions.” He said, pretending to take off his hat and bow.

Rachel simply slapped him on the arm and gave him another, gentler hug, which he gladly returned. The rest of the train ride passed without anything interesting happening. They boys and girls talked together for a while, until the boys began planning a prank and the girls began talking about their own things.

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A/N: hey guys! Well here's the second chapter. review w/ comments/suggestions! And I'll get the next chapter up soon.

Xoxoxo

Deppfan56

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3. of pranks and flirting

A/N: thanks for all the reviews guys! It means a lot to me. Keep em coming! I really appreciate the suggestions and comments.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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As the train pulled into the station, the seven friends got off and boarded a carriage that would take them to the castle. Remus, Sarah, James and Lily were in one carriage and Sirius, Rachel and Peter were in another.

In the first carriage, Remus and Sarah were immersed in deep conversation and seemed to have forgotten that anyone else existed. James was watching them thoughtfully. Suddenly, he got an idea.

“Hey Lil” he whispered to Lily who was sitting beside him staring out the window.

“What?” she whispered back, slightly put out that her thoughts had been interrupted.

“Look at Remus and Sarah.” Lily glanced over just in time to see Sarah laugh at something Remus had said.

“Yeah, so?” she asked

James rolled his eyes at her. “Looks like there's somethin goin on between them.”

“What? No it doesn't. They're just really good friends. I laugh at things you say all the time, and there's nothing going on between us. Besides, I thought you don't' believe in love.” She said, raising an eyebrow at him.

“I don't'” he confirmed. “But look at the way he's looking at her”

“There's nothing different about the way Remus is looking at Sarah.” Lily persisted. “Wait a minute. You're not trying to tell me that Remus likes Sarah in your own twisted way, are you?” She asked suspiciously.

“No of course not! Where'd you get that from? No where in our conversation did I say that Remus likes Sarah. I merely said that it looks like something is going on between them! Those are two completely different things! For all I know, they could just be discussing a really funny book, and Remus has something in his eye” Lily just looked skeptically at James and tried not to laugh at him. “See, this is exactly why I don't like getting emotionally involved with girls. All of you take one thing and twist it into a whole new random one! It's enough to make any guy insane.” He continued, combing a hand through his already hazardous hair.

“Woah James calm down” Lily said, holding her hands up in defeat. “ I was just asking a question. If I had known it would make you this upset, I wouldn't have.”

James sighed and took a deep breath. “It's ok. Just that I had to spend two whole months with my parents on my back about finding a girl that I could care for and love and marry and I was about to bloody explode! And I don't think I can handle any more talk about love.”

“I still don't get why you have such a problem with love. It can be a great thing once you give it a chance and open up your heart.”

“yeah, sure. How would you know? It's not like you've been in love before.” He said confidently. Then added, “ you haven't, right?”

Lily just shrugged her shoulders and went back to looking out the window. James looked at her curiously, but dropped the subject. He had no intention of continuing a conversation about love. He shuddered at just the thought of it.

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In the next carriage, Rachel, Sirius and Peter were all discussing a certain raven-haired boy who refused to acknowledge the existence of love.

“I personally don't think it's possible.” Rachel told the other two. “ I mean, how can someone just write-off love like that? The world is full of love! What about his parents, they're in love, and all his friend's parents? How can he still maintain that it doesn't exist?”

“Believe me. I've tried to make him see otherwise.” Sirius said. “ But you know him. Stubborn as a cow. Once something is in his head, it's almost impossible to get it out. So I've basically given up. Maybe one day that one girl will come along that will knock some sense into him.”

Rachel snorted. “ You're one to talk. It's not like you believe in love anymore than he does.”

“That's not true” Sirius countered. “ I just haven't found that right girl yet. I fully believe in love. But I also believe in having fun. And if I haven't found that one girl yet, why should I just sit around and wait for her?”

Rachel rolled her eyes at this and turned to Peter. “ What about you Peter, have your eyes set on anyone lately?”

“Well,” he began nervously, “ there is this sixth year in Ravenclaw I kinda like.”
(A/N: I know most of you don't like peter, and neither do I, so he won't be in very much…but he has to kinda exist…u no?)

“Oooo, “ teased Sirius “Peter has a crush. I think you should go for it mate.” He added encouragingly.

“Thanks, maybe I will” he replied. The carriages stopped then, marking the arrival at Hogwarts. All the students got down and made their way into the Great Hall for the beginning of the year feast. The seven friends, once again reunited, all sat down together, with the girls on one side of the table and the boys across from them. All four of them were talking in hushed voices and James was just pulling his wand out of his pocket. The girls all looked at each other and new that something was going on. Just then, a line of scared looking first years walked down the middle of the hall and the sorting began. After the battered old hat had sung its song and placed each new student into a house, Dumbledore stood up to give a speech.

“Welcome all to another year at Hogwarts. I hope you all are looking forward to this year as much as I am. I expect great things from all of you. I would first like to congratulate the new head boy and head girl. Lily Evans and James Potter.” Everyone in the hall applauded as Dumbledore continued. “Second, I would like to remind you that the forbidden forest is indeed forbidden. Thirdly, quidditch tryout dates will be posted in each house's common room, and lastly I would like everyone to dig in!” the golden plates on the long house tables all filled with food and everyone began eating the delicious meal. Sirius was eating at such a rapid pace that it was difficult to distinguish his hands from his mouth. Only when James elbowed him in the ribs did he come up for air.

“Oi! What are you on about!” he screamed, rubbing his chest painfully.

“Well, if you would have heard me calling your name for the past five minutes, I wouldn't have had to resort to hitting you.” Sirius just glared at him. “Now, as I've been trying to say, we need to get on with this prank before the feast ends.”

“O yeah…the prank…I forgot. Ok let's go.” He said, taking one last bite of his steak.

“Before you guys do anything, make sure that no one gets too badly hurt. Ok?” warned Sarah.

“Ok mum, we won't” Sirius said with a seemingly innocent smile. Sarah kicked him under the table. “Ow! What is it with hitting me today? What, do I have a sign on my head that says `hit me' on it?” he asked, rubbing his sore shin.

Rachel rolled her eyes at him. “ She didn't hit you, she kicked you. And just make sure that no one really does get hurt.”

“Ugh, not you too” James complained. “Ok, ok, fine, don't worry. It'll be a harmless prank.”

“Alright guys, let's go” Remus said. “ On the count of three. One, two, three!” At once, brightly colored sparks flew from all four wands and flew towards the slytherin table. Suddenly, instead of the many conversations taking place at the table, only various animal sounds were being emitted from the students' mouths. Their heads and bodies were slowly changing from human to animals, where the head was of a different animal than the body was. At first, everyone in the hall stopped talking and looked around in confusion for the unfamiliar noises. Then, all at once, everyone started laughing. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter were all doubled over in laughter, wiping tears from their faces. Lily, Rachel and Sarah were also sharing a hearty laugh at the expense of the slytherins. All the first years were looking around in awe, amazed that a feat like that was possible. Then, all too soon, the noises stopped and the slytherins were once more human. The four Gryffindor boys looked up to see a livid professor McGonagall marching over to them.

“Potter, Black, Lupin, Pettigrew!” she barked. “Detention all of next week!” with that, she stalked away without looking back.

“How does she always know it's us?” Sirius questioned stupidly.

Rachel hit him over the head. “Who else would it be, you dolt!”

“Ouch! Ok, enough with the hitting.” He said, rubbing his head. “God, I was just asking a question…” he grumbled.

As the plates all cleaned themselves, all the students began getting up and filing out of the Hall. The prefects from each house led the first years to the portrait holes of their respective houses. The Gryffindors all went to the portrait of the fat lady and told her the pass word “silverspoon” and entered the common room. The three girls headed up to their dormitory to unpack, as did the four boys.

Up in the girls' dormitory, each girl began unpacking her things and putting them away.

“ Hey Lil, don't you and James have your own head dormitory?” asked Sarah.

“Yeah we do. We have a meeting with Dumbledore tomorrow after classes and he's gonna tell us all the details then. But chances are I'll spend lots of time up here, so I'm still gonna unpack some of my stuff.” She explained. She had finished putting all her books away and was about to move on to her clothes when Rachel let out a cry.

“Bloody Hell!! What in Merlin's name is going on!” She was standing in front of her open suitcase, holding up what looked like a sweater for a doll…accompanied by a pair of pants…Lily and Sarah quickly opened their own suitcases and found that all their clothes had been shrunk as well.

“Those four prats shrunk our clothes!” exclaimed Sarah. But Rachel was already out the door. She marched down the stairs, across the common room, up the stairs that led to the boys' dormitory and began banging on the door.

“BLACK! POTTER! LUPIN! GET YOUR ARSES OUT HERE NOW!!” Sarah and Lily hurried after her to back up their friend. A few moments later, the door opened and there stood Sirius, clad only in his boxers, a white t-shirt and an innocent smile.

“yes? Can we help you three lovely ladies?” he asked suavely.

“Oh, don't give us that crap Black…you shrunk our clothes and we are demanding that you put them back right now.” Seethed Rachel

“Hmmm…yeah, we could…but I'm kinda tired…what about you James?” he asked his friend who had come up to stand beside him.

James faked a huge yawn “ Yeah, so exhausted. Sorry ladies, no can do. Come check with us tomorrow though. Maybe we can help you then.” And with that he made to close the door, but was stopped by an angry Lily.

“James,” she said sweetly, batting her eyelashes and stepping further into the room, causing James to back up.

“Yes Lily dearest?” he asked, just as sweetly.

“I would suggest that you change our clothes back right now, or you're going to seriously regret it.” She warned, running a finger down the middle of chest, noticing in the back of her mind just how hard it felt. James just crossed his arms and stood his ground.

“O yeah” he smirked “And just what are you going to do?” Lily turned around, winked at her friends and stood on tiptoes to whisper in James' ear.

“Well,” she began, “ with Sarah's talents in potions and mine in charms, we could `accidentally' make a mistake and change your physical anatomy, if you catch my drift” James stepped back in horror and looked at Lily's face, her mischievous eyes betraying her innocent façade.

“You…you wouldn't” he spluttered, staring wide-eyed from girl to girl.

“ Oh, we would,” said Sarah, menacingly. All three boys visibly paled, looked at each other, and instantly told the girls the incantation of the spell that would change their clothes back.

Smirking, the three girls turned to leave the dormitory. At the door, Lily turned around and threw one last wink in James' direction, who was still looking a little nervous at the girls' threat.

“That was too easy” laughed Rachel as they entered their dorm.

“Yah, honestly, did you see them squirm! It was so funny.” Added Sarah. “Hey Lil, what was with the flirting?”

“Excuse me?” Lily asked, completely bewildered.

“You, flirting with James. It was completely obvious.” Sarah said, changing her and the others' clothes back.

“What? I wasn't flirting, I was just doing that to get him to tell us how to change our clothes back. I don't like James. We're just friends! And you know that boy, he's completely opposed to anything related to love!”

“Ya, but you're not” said Rachel thoughtfully. “ And who knows, maybe you're the one that was meant to change James. The one meant to make him realize that love does exist.”

“Woah, Woah. Hold it right there. I just told you that I didn't like James, and now you're talking about love? No, no, no. Absolutely not. I have no feelings, other than platonic ones, for James.”

Sarah gave her a calculating look. “Fine, we'll let it go for now. But this isn't over.” With that, she pulled back her covers and climbed into bed.

*************************************************************

That night, as Lily lay in bed, she was thinking of the conversation with her friends. She didn't have any romantic feelings for James, did she? No, they were just friends! They had known each other since they were babies. But then how come whenever James had gone out with another girl last year she had felt this odd feeling in her stomach? It couldn't be jealousy, could it? Nah, just like a sister looking out for a brother. Yes. Definitely. That was what it had been. She didn't want him to get hurt. And besides, just suppose for one second that she did like James, then she would just be setting herself up to get hurt. Because James never really liked girls. He dated them, but never anything too serious. But she didn't like James so she didn't have to worry about that, now did she? No. Even thinking about liking James was out of the question. With that, Lily rolled over onto her side and willed herself to go to sleep.

***********************************************************

Up in the boys' dormitory right after the girls left:

“Wow” breathed Remus. “Girls sure are dangerous creatures.”

“Tell me about it” agreed Sirius. “ So, Jamie-poo…what's goin on with Lily?”

“What?!?” he yelped. “what are you talking about? Nothing is going on at all!”

“I'd have to agree with Sirius on this one, James” Remus said. “You two did seem to be flirting quite a bit.”

“Wait stop right there. I don't know how many times I've told you guys this, but I'm gonna say it again. I. Don't. Believe. In. Love. That's how simple it is. I don't. Lily and I are just friends. We weren't flirting, she just wanted to know how to change her clothes back.” James said while climbing into bed.

Sirius sighed, also getting into bed. “ Fine. Say whatever you want, but don't come crying to us when you figure out your real feelings and it's too late to do anything about them.”

“Ok, I won't cuz there won't be any feelings. Now I'm going to sleep cuz we have classes tomorrow. And I am head boy now, so I should try to stay awake.”

Remus just rolled his eyes and got into bed. “Night guys” he said.

James lay in bed later that night thinking to himself. `I don't like Lily. No way.. There is no such thing as love.' And with that, he fell asleep, not knowing or realizing just how wrong he was.

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A/N: ok there it is! Chapter 3. It's longer than the others, and I hope the story's coming along good. Review w/ comments and suggestions!!

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4. of denial and misunderstandings

A/N: here's chapter 4! Thanks to all that reviewed! Keep them coming =)

Disclaimer: I own nothing

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“Lily” Sarah said the next morning. “You need to get up. Classes start soon.” Lily didn't move.

“Lily! Get up!” she said louder. Lily just muttered incoherently in her sleep and rolled over. Sarah turned to Rachel helplessly.

“LILY!” Rachel screamed. “GET YOUR ARSE OUT OF BED NOW!”

“Mmmm…go `way…I'm sleeping” Lily muttered.

“Lily, I'm going to count to five and if you're not up by then, I'm going to have James and Sirius hold you down while I read your diary in front of the entire school at lunch today.” Rachel warned. “And don't tell me you don't have diary because I know for a fact that you do and I also know where you keep it hidden. Lily didn't even flinch.

“Ok, here I go…1…”

“She's not serious. There's no way she would do that” Lily thought.

“…2…”

“Nah…she's just bluffing. Rachel wouldn't do that to me…”

“…3…”

“Ok, she's not stopping…maybe she's not kidding…in which case I should get up…”

“…4…”

“Oh crap! She's not joking! Ok! Ok! Getting up now!”

“…fi…”

“Ok! I'm up! Stop!” shouted a very disheveled Lily, sitting straight up in bed. Rachel smiled, satisfied with her work and turned to Sarah.

“And that is how you wake up a Lily. Keep it in mind for next time.” She then turned to Lily and said “By the way, I have no clue in hell where you keep your diary. I've tried to find it almost every bloody week!!” Lily sent her best friend a glare and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Hey Lil, how come you're so tired? We didn't go to bed that late last night” asked Sarah.

“Um…I have no idea…I guess I'm just not used to waking up this early.” The two girls seemed to buy this explanation.

“K, well we'll meet you in the common room when you're dressed and we can walk down to breakfast together.” Rachel said as her and Sarah walked out of the dormitory.

“Ok, I'll see you guys in a bit.” She replied as the door shut. Lily sat back in bed and thought back to the real reason she was so tired. She had spent a lot of time the previous night lying awake in bed, thinking about none other than James Potter. She couldn't seem to get him out of her mind. He seemed to be invading every one of her thoughts and just wouldn't leave her alone.

“What is going on with me?” Lily wondered to herself as she got up to get dressed. “I cannot be getting feelings for James. No, that just can't happen. I won't let it.” Satisfied with her reasoning, and fully believing that she had complete control over whether or not she had feelings for James, Lily finished getting dressed and made her way down to the common room where she found her five friends waiting for her.

“Morning guys! Ready to go to breakfast?” she asked.

“Yeah, lets go…I'm starving” Sirius said, standing up and walking towards the portrait hole. Everyone made to follow…except one person.

“Wait” called Remus from behind the group. “Where's James?” Everyone looked around the common room and eventually spotted him, fast asleep on one of the large chairs by the fire.

“Ok, there's something really weird going on with him.” Sirius mused, walking towards the sleeping figure. “It was near impossible to get him up this morning…and now he's out like a light…We didn't stay up that late last night.”

Lily walked over to James and gently shook him. “James, wake up. We need to go to breakfast.” When he didn't move, she shook him harder. “James! Wake up!” He slowly opened his eyes, and as soon as he saw Lily, he sprang off the sofa and looked at her with wide eyes.

“Lily?!? What are you doing in my room?!?” he exclaimed.

“Um…James, mate…we're not up in the dorm.” Sirius said, an odd expression on his face. “You fell asleep in the common room while we were waiting for Lily to come down so we could go eat.” James looked around at Sirius and saw the rest of his friends near by.

“Oh…I did? Right. We're in the common room. And Lily is not in the dorm. Great, everything is ok. So…who's hungry?” he looked around to see everyone staring at him as if he were crazy.

“…What?…” he asked, getting uncomfortable.

“James, I've been in your dorm tons of times before.” Lily said, clearly confused by James' behavior.

“Of course you have.” James said. “Now lets go eat.” And with that, he walked past his still bewildered friends and out the portrait hole. Everyone else looked at each other, trying to figure out what had just happened.

“What the bloody hell was that?” Rachel inquired.

“I have no idea!” Sirius said, still in a daze. “I've never seen him act like that before. I'm supposed to be the one that's out of it all the time, not him!”

Remus rolled his eyes at Sirius and said “Ok, let's go and catch up with James. With the state he's in, he'll probably end up in the owlry and start eating their food.”

The group of friends walked out of the common room and down the hall. After turning a corner, they saw James walking a little ahead of them, making his way, slowly but surely, to the Great Hall.

“Hey mate, what's up? Why are you so tired all of a sudden?” Asked Sirius after catching up to him.

“Huh? Oh, nothing. I couldn't fall asleep last night. I guess I'm not used to the bed here or something.” James replied, looking straight ahead and not at his friend. “Yeah, I couldn't fall asleep, and I wish it was because I'm not used to the bed.” He scoffed to himself. “I wish it was because of anything except the real reason I was up. I wish that I didn't see those beautiful green eyes every time I closed my eyes…or hear her melodious voice…or her contagious laugh…wait…what am I thinking! Stop it James! You do not have feelings for Lily! That is absolutely ridiculous! Think about it logically. You were just thrown off a little because Sirius and Remus were talking about her before you fell asleep. Yes, that's it. I wasn't thinking about her because I like her, but because Sirius and Remus brought her up…but she really does have a beautiful smile…ugh! No, no, no! ” James screamed at himself, not realizing that he had said the last part out loud while hitting himself on the head.

“Er…mate…are you ok?” Remus asked, cautiously. James flushed, realizing what had just happened, and muttered a quick “yeah, I'm fine.” And walked into the Great Hall. The rest of the group had no choice but to follow in his wake.

James' odd behavior continued all day. He hardly talked to anyone, and was constantly spacing out.

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At 5 o'clock, when he and Lily had to meet with professor Dumbledore, Lily was a little wary about approaching James. He was currently sitting in front of the fire in the common room with a book open, but his eyes were glazed over. He was obviously deep in thought. Lily approached him carefully and stood in front of him.

“James?” she said quietly.

“Hmm?” he replied, looking up at her. They made eye contact and Lily's words got caught in her throat. `He looks so lost and confused' she thought to herself.

“Um, we have to go talk to Dumbledore now. He needs to give us some details about our responsibilities and show us our head dormitories.”

“Oh, right. Ok Let's go.” James got up and began walking out of the common room with Lily.

“James,” Lily began, looking up at him, “ are you sure you're ok?”

“Of course. I'm fine.” He replied.

Lily wasn't convinced, but sighed in defeat. “ Well, if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here to listen.” She said earnestly. Suddenly, James stopped walking and turned to Lily.

“Thanks.” He said, giving her a sincere smile “I really appreciate it. You really are a great friend.”

“Any time.” Lily said, returning the smile.

`A friend. That's all she is. Just a very good friend.' James reassured himself. They continued walking to the headmaster's office in silence.

“Lemon drops” James said the password to Dumbledore's office. They statues sprung apart and a spiraling staircase was revealed. At the top, the two students knocked at the door and entered to see the headmaster sitting at his desk, expecting them.

“Ah. Good. Right on time.” Dumbledore said, looking up. “ Have a seat, both of you.” James and Lily sat down across from him.

“The reason I asked you two to come here today was to tell you the details of your head boy and girl duties and to show you your head dormitories. This year, you two are expected to act as role models for younger students and set good examples. You will be responsible for holding prefect meetings once a month to discuss upcoming events and any other issues you or the prefects see fit. You will plan a winter ball that will be held the day before students leave for the winter holidays. After you have made the final plans, show either professor McGonagall or I so that we can then begin putting everything together. Both of us are available if you have and questions of concerns at any time. Do you have any questions at this moment?”

“Is the ball for all the years” asked James

“That is for you two to decide. I believe that you are up to the responsibility.” Dumbledore replied.

“What about Hogsmede trips?” Lily asked.

“You will both get schedules of those within the next week and will be responsible to distribute them to the prefects of each house so they can tell their respective houses. Anything else?” both Lily and James shook their heads.

“Good. Now if you'll follow me, I'll show you to your dormitories. You will both have your own rooms their, a common bathroom, and a small common room. You are, however, both welcome to stay in the Gryffindor common room.” The three stood up and left the headmaster's office. Dumbledore led them down a few halls and flights of stairs and eventually came to a portrait of a fairy.

“The password is fairylights. You are free to go in and out as you please now. It is ok to bring your friends in here if you wish, just don't get too carried away.” Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eyes.

“Thank you professor.” James and Lily said.

“No problem at all.” He replied. “Now, I must be getting back to work. Have a nice day you two.”

“ You too professor” James and Lily entered the common room and marvelled at the sight. It was decorated in Gryffindor colors and had a large sofa near the fire, surrounded by several comfortable chairs. To the right, were three doors. The two on the outside were the two bedrooms, which were connected by a bathroom in the middle.

“Well…this is nice” James said walking around.

“Understatement of the century” Lily muttered, walking towards her bedroom. “I'm gonna go check out my room” she opened the door and immediately felt at home. The room seemed to reflect her personality perfectly. It had a large bed with baby blue and green sheets. The floor was covered with a soft sink-your-toes-in carpet and there was a bookshelf filled with all her favorite novels. The walls had posters of her favorite bands and actors. There was a desk and chair to one side for studying.

`I can definitely get used to this' she sighed to herself. She turned around and went through the door that led from her bedroom into the bathroom. Inside, she found a large bathtub with many taps, each with a different function. Next to it was a medium-sized shower stall. Across from the tub was a large counter with two sinks and a large mirror that covered the entire opposite wall. A toilet was placed to the other side of the counter. The bathroom was very well lit and seemed to be fit for royalty. Suddenly, the doorknob on the opposite side of the bathroom turned, and revealed a smiling James.

“This is bloody awesome!” he exclaimed. “ We should just ditch the Gryffindor common room, and bring all our friends here.” Lily laughed at his enthusiasm, and couldn't' help but notice how adorable he looked when he was excited.

`No! Stop it Lily!' she scolded herself.

“ Yeah, it is pretty cool, isn't it. We should go and get our friends. They'll definitely want to see this.” They both left their common room and made their way to the Gryffindor common room.

************************************************

Sarah and Remus were sitting on a sofa in the common room working on their charms homework while Lily and James were at a meeting with professor Dumbledore and Rachel and Sirius were at the kitchens, getting a snack.

“Did you get the answer to number five?” Sarah asked, chewing on the end of her quill.

“Yeah I did” Remus answered, absentmindedly. Rachel waited for him to continue.

Nothing.

“Well let me see it.” She said reaching for his paper.

“No, no, no” Remus said, holding it out of her reach.

“Hey! Come on!” she said, reaching for the paper. It really was useless, seeing as she was only 5'4” compared to Remus' 6' she had no chance of reaching the paper that was held above his head.

“Remus!!” she whined, jumping up and down, grabbing his arm. Remus just looked down at the distressed blonde with an amused expression. Finally, she stopped jumping.

“Fine.” She said, slightly out of breath. “If you wanna play it that way then…” and she climbed onto the arm of the sofa and jumped onto Remus' back so that her legs were wrapped around his waist, one of her arms was holding onto his shoulder, and the other was stretched out, grabbing for his paper.

Remus, completely caught off guard by this bold move by the shy girl, lost his balance and fell over onto his stomach, causing Sarah to come tumbling down with him.

“Bloody hell.” He said, his voice muffled by the carpet. “What the hell were you doing.”

“Homework” she replied, trying to get off his back, only to realize that the silver chain she usually wore around her neck was caught on the clasp of the one that Remus wore.

“Oh shit” she swore, trying to survey the damage done.

“What?” Remus asked, “Get off me will you? I can't breathe”

“I can't get off you, the clasps of our necklaces are stuck together.”

“Well do something!”

“I'm trying you oaf. Stop complaining!”

“Arg! Don't pull your head up! My necklace is gonna strangle me!” came the panicked voice of Remus

“Oops.” Sarah said sheepishly. “Ok, here. I'll try to lift my self up, and you turn over so you're on you back.”

“Ok.”

Sarah planted both her hands on either side of Remus' body and hoisted herself up a little, giving him some space to roll over. As soon as he was done, the necklaces pulled her down again, so she was now lying on top of his stomach.

“Ok, let me see where they're stuck together.” Remus said, bringing his hands up near Sarah's neck. As his hands began trying to untangle the two chains, Sarah began shaking with suppressed giggles.

“What's so funny?” Remus questioned

*Giggle* “nothing.” *Giggle* she laughed. “I'm just really ticklish”

“Oh. Are you now,” Remus said, mischievously. He moved his hands from the necklaces, brought them down to her ribs and began tickling her mercilessly.

“Ahh!! Remus! Stop!” Sarah shrieked.

“No, no. This is payback for getting us into this mess in the first place.”

“Well, tickling me isn't gonna get us out of it!” she barely gasped out

“That may be true, but I love hearing you laugh.” He replied, still tickling her. Sarah, who was in tears by now, lost her balance and fell off of Remus, bringing him with her. They were now lying on the carpet with Remus on top of her. In his surprise, he stopped tickling her.

“Now look what you did” Sarah ground out “Merlin you're heavy! Get off!”

“Nah, you're comfy.” He said teasingly. Just then, the portrait hole opened and a laughing Lily and James walked into the common room.

“Yeah, and then we…” James froze at the scene in front of him. Lily, who was behind James, didn't realize he had stopped walking and crashed right into him.

“Ouch! James! What are you doing?” she emerged from behind James, grumbling and rubbing her head. “You can't just…oh. My god.” She nearly fell over from the shock of what she was seeing.

“Oh! Thank Merlin you guys are here. We need some help.” Sarah said from her spot underneath Remus.

James smirked at this. “What, don't you guys know how to do it yourselves? I mean come on, we are 17 years old.” Lily smacked James on the head. Remus and Sarah looked up at James and Lily with confused expressions. Then, as if they had just realized that they were lying on the floor in a very compromising position, they both let out horrified gasps and stared wide-eyed at each other.

`Oh Merlin. I'm currently lying on top of one of the prettiest girls in all of Hogwarts! Ok, I need to stop thinking about it and focus on the problem at hand, or I might end up more embarrassed then I already am' Remus thought to himself.

“Holy…No…you guys have it all wrong. We were just…this is so not what it looks like.” Sarah said desperately,

Lily, who had been staring in shock, spoke for the first time.

“Ok, um…so what are you doing underneath Remus?” she asked, with a slight smile on her face

“Ugh. It's all his fault…” she began.

“What! No it's not!” Remus interrupted.

“Yes it…oh honestly! Can you guys help us get up please? And then we'll explain everything. Our necklaces are stuck together and we can't get them untangled.”

Lily and James made their way over to where their friends were lying to help them get up. On the way though, James stepped on a stray quill on the ground, slipped, fell across Remus and landed on the ground next to him. In the process of falling, he had flayed his arms back and grabbed Lily, who in turn, fell on top of James.

At that precise moment, Sirius and Rachel walked through the portrait hole with their arms full of snacks and froze when they saw the two couples lying on the ground, grunting and moaning.

“Bloody hell! What is going on here!” Sirius exclaimed, completely shocked. “And how come Rachel and I weren't invited to join in on the fun? It looks like you guys are having a good time.” He smirked.

“Sirius!” Rachel reprimanded. “ You perverted prat. I'm sure it's not what it looks like.”

“Thank-you Rachel!” Lily said, lifting herself off of James and helping him up.

“Er…what exactly is going on?” Sirius questioned, looking at Remus and Sarah who hadn't moved from their spot on the floor.

“I'll bloody tell all of you if you bloody help us up!” Sarah screamed. Lily got out her wand and muttered a spell. Remus and Sarah's necklaces untangled themselves and the two of them were now free to stand up.

Remus lifted himself off of Sarah and stood up, dusting himself off and rubbing his neck where his necklace had cut into him.

Sarah immediately sat up and began trying to recover her lost breath.

“Well,” Sarah began, still trying to recover her breath. “ It all began when we were doing our charms homework. And she told her friends exactly how she had ended up beneath Remus on the common room floor. By the end of the story, Sarah and Remus were blushing slightly and the other four were in stitches, laughing.

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Later that night, the four boys were in their dorms getting ready for bed.

“Hey guys, I was thinking.” Began Remus, sitting on the edge of his bed fidgeting with his hands. “I was thinking that maybe I could ask Sarah to go to the next hogsmede trip with me…not that we know when that is yet…”

“Like on a date?” asked Sirius dumbly.

“Yes Padfoot, on a date” Remus said, exasperatedly.

“Wow, I never knew you thought of Sarah like that.” James said.

“I never realized it until today either.” Remus replied. “ It's just that, I never enjoyed doing charms homework until today.”

“You want to ask her out because you enjoyed doing homework?” Sirius questioned “I think he's lost it.” He said to James.

“No, no, of course not Sirius.” Remus said as he rolled his eyes. “What I was trying to say is that just being near her, hearing her talk, listening to her laugh, made even charms homework seem fun. I felt so relaxed, so at home just sitting next to her. But I felt so alive at the same time. I wanted to tease her, to make her laugh, to talk to her. I just…Merlin, am I making any sense at all?”

“Wow. You've got it bad mate.” Sirius said, staring at his friend. “You should definitely ask her out. You guys would make a great couple.”

“Thanks…wait…what if she doesn't feel the same way? I mean we've been friends forever. She could just not think of me that way.”

“Not to worry mate. I'll have a word with my partner in crime, Rachel, tomorrow” Sirius said. “I'll ask her if there's any chance that maybe Sarah has feelings for you too…But don't worry…I'll be subtle.” He added.

“Great, thanks Sirius…just try not to make me sound like a fool in front of her, ok?”

“Have some faith moony old pal! I've got everything under control”

“Oh lord.” Remus sighed. As he ducked to avoid a pillow aimed at his head. “Hey! I was just joking. I trust you Sirius.”

“Thank you.” Sirius said, aloofly. “You've been awfully quiet James, anything the matter?”

“I don't understand.” He said, expecting the other two to understand.

“Er…understand what, exactly Prongs?” Sirius asked.

“I don't understand how after being friends with Sarah for almost 12 years, you suddenly realize today that you like her more than just a friend. It doesn't make any sense.”

“It's not supposed to make any sense. Love isn't supposed to be logical and thought out, James. It's just supposed to happen and catch you completely off guard. You never know when it'll come creeping up and grab you. But when it does, there'll be nothing you can do to stop it. No one can escape love…not even you.”

“Yeah, we'll see about that.” James scoffed. “I refuse to let myself fall in love. I'm strong. I can fight it…and I will.” With that, he got into bed and rolled over, willing himself to fall asleep and to stop thinking of a certain red head…

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Breakfast the next morning began as it did everyday, until something surprising happened. Just as Lily was taking a bite of her scrambled eggs, John Lefsky, a seventh year Ravenclaw came and sat down next to her.

“Morning Lily.” He greeted

Lily looked around at him with a surprised face, which soon turned into a happy smile.

“Hey John, what's up?” she asked

“Well, I was wondering something,” he began, painfully aware of the stares he was getting from all of Lily's friends. “ I was wondering, if you would like to go to Hogsmede with me next weekend, like on a date” he asked nervously.

“Oh!” Lily said, surprised. “Um…sure. I'd really like that.” She replied with a smile.

“Great” John said, relaxing a bit. “We can work out the details when the dates for the trip are posted…er… I guess I'll see you in Defense class then.” He got up from the Gryffindor with a smile at Lily and walked back to his own.

“Well.” Sarah said. “That certainly was unexpected.”

“Yeah it was.” Lily said, still in a daze over what had just happened. “But I'm glad it did.” She added with a girly smile.

“Oh! This is so great! We have to pick out the perfect outfit and fix your hair, and…”

“Rachel! We don't even know when the trip is. Hold out on all the fashion tips till then, ok?” Lily said with a laugh.

“Awww. Lilykins has a date!” Sirius pretended to gush. “My baby's growing up”

“Sirius…shut up. I've had plenty of dates before. What's the big deal?”

“Um…” Sirius said, unable to come up with an explanation. “Pass the eggs?” Lily just rolled her eyes and passed him the plate full of scrambled eggs.

Through all the excitement, Lily and the other friends missed the calculating and confused look on James face.

`Lily has a date. Yeah, so? She's right, she has had dates before. It's no big deal. Well then why do I feel like ripping that John kid's head off? Ugh. Something is seriously wrong with me.' He thought to himself.

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A/N: hey guys! Here's chapter 4. Sorry it took kinda long for me to get it out. I really have no excuse except for laziness. Sorry!!! I like this chapter, but all your reviews with comments and suggestions are greatly appreciated! If anyone has any ideas for this story or has anything that they want to happen, put it in a review and I'll see how to incorporate it in here. I'm really open-minded about all suggestions.

One more thing…I'm going on vacation in a few days for a few weeks, so the next update might not be for like three weeks or something. Sorry!!

Till next time then!! Remember to review!

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5. of hate and love

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Sadly.

A/N: hey guys! Here's chapter 5. Sorry for the long wait. I was away for a few weeks and I've been busy getting ready to start my freshman year of college. I'm so excited, but there's so much to do. Anyways, here's the chapter.

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James was ecstatic. It had been three days since `the most confusing day of his life,' as he dubbed it, and he hadn't thought about Lily, or love, or relationships, or feelings since then.

`The world makes sense again' he thought happily to himself, as he sat down in the common room to start his homework. `Ugh. Defense homework. Where's moony when you need him?'

As if on cue, Remus, Sirius, Sarah and Lily came trooping through the portrait hole. Sirius still hadn't been able to get Rachel alone to ask her about Sarah. He was planning on doing it today, but he had no idea where that girl had gotten to. Oh well. He'd just talk to her when he saw her.

“Hey prongsie, what's up?” Sirius asked, jumping over the back of the sofa James was sitting on and landing on top of all his schoolwork.

“Well, I was doing my defense homework…and then you decided to grace us with your lovely presence.” He replied sarcastically.

“Ah, I see.” Sirius said, making himself comfortable.

“Sirius.” James began.

“Hmmm?”

“Move your fat arse off my stuff or you'll be viewing the world from a whole new perspective as a dust bunny on the carpet.”

“Fine! Jeez, no need to get snappy. You sound like a bloody girl on her monthly.” He said, grumpily, moving from his spot on the sofa to the floor.

“Ahem, Sirius,” began Lily. “You really should avoid making wise cracks about girls' periods when there are girls in the room.”

“Ok! Fine. I'm just gonna sit here and not talk, because everything I say gets me into trouble.”

“Hey guys, what's up?” Rachel asked, just joining the group.

“Nothing, just working on this damned essay.” James grumbled. Rachel just chuckled and took a seat next to Sirius on the floor and took out a book. After a few minutes, Sirius leaned over and whispered to her.

“I need to talk to you about something…alone.”

“oookay, um I'll meet you back down here once everyone goes to sleep.”

“K, sounds good.” Sirius answered and went back to reading his textbook. He found that he couldn't concentrate though. His mind kept wandering to the concentrating girl next to him.

`Her hair smells like vanilla' he thought to himself. `Mmmm. I feel like running my hands though it, and then running my hands down her perfectly shaped body and then maybe…o god. What am I thinking?' Sirius suddenly realized that he was sweating slightly, and his pants seemed to be a little too tight…

`O my Merlin. This is certainly new. When did I start feeling like this for Rachel?' `Maybe it was that night in the kitchens when you couldn't help but notice the way she licked her ice cream cone with that delicious tongue…the one that could also be used for licking other things…' `o…ok. I need to stop this. Think of something else…um…potions class…. Ugh…o shit I still have to do my essay in that class…' `think about whatever you want, but you can't deny the fact that you want Rachel.' ` I can't believe I'm arguing with myself. I've officially lost it.' `Yeah. You probably have.'

“Sirius…Sirius…OI! SIRIUS!” screamed Sarah. “Are you ok? You look constipated and confused at the same time.”

“Yeah…I'm ok.”

James raised an eyebrow at Remus. Sirius not making a comeback at Sarah for her comment…something was up.

***********************************************8

“Hey, you wanted to talk to me?” Rachel had crept down to the common room after she was certain her roommates were sleeping.

Sirius looked up from his place on his sofa and was immediately rendered speechless at the sight of her in short boy shorts and a tank top. He shook his head. ` This is definitely not the time.'

“Er…yeah.” He made room for her on the sofa. “I actually wanted to talk to you about Sarah.”

“Oh.” Rachel said, trying to hide her disappointment. He wanted to ask her if Sarah would consider going out with him. That meant he was interested in Sarah. `Well it's not like you have dibs on him or anything' `I know, it's just that I've sort of developed a small crush type thing on him.'

Sirius, sensing her hesitation, immediately realized his mistake.

“No! It's not like that. It's just that Remus wants to ask her to go to Hogsmede with him, but doesn't know if she feels that way about him. So, being the good friend that I am, I volunteered to talk to you.”

Sirius could almost feel Rachel's relief. “Oh! Well, she hasn't told us specifically that she likes him, but now that I think about it, she has been talking about him more and more…so I think he should go for it.”

“Ok. Great. I'll tell him tomorrow.” Sirius was having a really hard time controlling himself while sitting next to Rachel. He had never had to do it before. Any time he wanted a girl, he got her. But this was different. This was Rachel. His friend.

“Sirius…are you ok? You're looking at me really weird. Do I have something on my face?”

“Hmmm? Yeah, it's just that…” and before he even knew what he was doing, before his mind even had time to talk some sense into his heart, he had leaned over and kissed her.

Rachel couldn't breath. Here she was, in the dead of night, talking with Sirius, her friend, and he kisses her.

`O god, what is going on! I can't do this! This is Sirius, the heartbreaker.' `Yeah, but you like it'

“No!” Rachel all but yelled, pushing Sirius away. “What are you doing? Is this some kind of joke? What, have you run out of sluts to sleep with and decided `oh, well there's still Rachel. She's my friend, I'm sure she won't mind' or is it that…”

“Rachel! Stop!” Sirius interrupted. “It's nothing like that! I can't believe you still think of me that way, or have you not noticed that I haven't been with anyone since before last year ended?” he was beginning to get angry. How could she think so little of him?

“I can't believe you think that I would just use you like that. You're one of my best friends. And lately, I've just been thinking of you as more…and didn't know how to say it, so I did the first thing that came to mind.” He continued, trying to understand the look on Rachel's face.

“Sirius,” Rachel began, not knowing what to say.

`I can't date Sirius. What a disaster that would be!' `Yes, but didn't you just say you had a crush on him?' `Maybe, but that doesn't mean I want to act on it!' `Okay, whatever you say…'

“I…we…I gotta go.” And she got up and ran up the stairs to the girls' dorm. She shut the door as quietly as she could and leaned against it, breathing heavily and trying to comprehend what had just happened.

`Oh Merlin. I can't believe that just happened. I can't date Sirius. He's a great friend, but I wouldn't trust him as a boyfriend. How would I know if he would be faithful? Ugh! I can't believe he kissed me! Just goes and screws up our friendship. I can't think about this right now. I'll tell the girls tomorrow and see what happens.' With that decision made, Rachel climbed into bed, and tried in vain to fall asleep.

`I can't believe she has such less faith in me!' Sirius thought to himself as he watched Rachel flee the common room. `She wouldn't even let me explain completely. She should trust me by now. I would never want to hurt her. She has no right to think any of that.' He climbed up the stairs to the dorm, fully intending to give Rachel a piece of his mind tomorrow. `Thank God it's Saturday and I don't have to wake up for classes.'

***************************************************

“She looks like she's dead” Lily whispered to Sarah the next morning, referring to the sleeping Rachel. She was sprawled out on her stomach, with one of her arms hanging off the side of her bed. Her mouth was slightly open and her soft and even breathing could be heard in the room.

“I wonder what's wrong with her. Rachel never sleeps this late. It's almost 1 in the afternoon!” Sarah said, with a worried expression.

“You think we should wake her up?”

“Yeah. Try shaking her a bit.”

“Rach. Rachel, wake up” Lily said, shaking Rachel. Rachel turned over on her back, stretched, and went back to sleeping.

“Rachel!! Wake up!” Sarah said, a bit louder. Slowly, Rachel opened her eyes and looked around.

“God. I feel like shit.” She said groggily, sitting up. She tried remembering why she was so tired and felt so bad. It hit her full force mid yawn.

“Oh. Shit. Damn. Fuck.” Sarah raised and eyebrow at Lily, who in turn just shrugged.

“Um…Rach, are you ok?”

“No! I can't believe he did that! He has no right to just go and do that!”

“I'm sure he doesn't” Sarah replied, throwing a confused look at Lily.

“Exactly! What was he thinking? I'm telling you, that boy has no common sense.”

“You're right, he has absolutely no common sense.”

“Yeah, and…wait, did I tell you what I'm talking about? Oh my god, I wasn't talking in my sleep was I?”

“No, you never told us.” Lily said, making herself comfortable on the edge of Rachel's bed.

“Oh, well then how come you guys were acting like you knew?”

Sarah just shrugged. “Cuz sometimes it's just better to rant, and you look like you need a good rant.”

Rachel sighed. “I do. But I also need some advice.”

“That's what we're here for.”

“Ok, well, yesterday when we were all sitting in the common room, Sirius told me he wanted to tell me something…” Sarah and Lily sat and listened patiently to Rachel's story. Neither of them had ever seen her this distressed before and were extremely worried.

“…And then, he started looking at me all funky and next thing I know, he's kissing me!”

“WHAT!” Sarah and Lily screamed. “SHIT! This is huge!”

“I know! I never even knew he felt that way! It was so random! He started saying something, but before he even finished his sentence, he kissed me!”

“Wow.” Lily said. “So what are you gonna do?”

“I don't know!” Rachel wailed, flopping back down on her bed. “God! He can't do that! I'm so pissed at him! He could have talked to me, but nooo Sirius Black doesn't talk…he just skips right ahead to snogging!”

“Well, how do you feel about him?” Sarah asked

Rachel thought for a minute. “ I don't know. I love hanging out with him. He makes me laugh, and he's a great friend. I can talk to him about stuff, and he's always willing to help. But I don't think I'd be able to handle him as a boyfriend. I'd always be worrying about where he was, and whether he's cheating on me. And I'd always be paranoid that he'd get bored of me or something. I just feel like dating him would be more trouble than it's worth.”

“I think you should talk to him, you know, let him explain.”

“Unless he plans on apologizing for what he did, I am not talking to that infuriating boy.” Rachel said stubbornly, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Rach, don't you think you're being a bit immature about the whole thing? I mean it was just a kiss.”

“Just a kiss? Just a kiss? No. See, I have never dealt with guy complications before. It's always been so simple. If I like a guy, I ask him out. If I get bored of him, I dump him. If I feel like it, I shag him and if I don't then I don't. How the hell am I supposed to deal with one of my best friends kissing me? None of my previous rules apply to this situation! I'm completely lost!”

Sarah and Lily rolled their eyes at each other. “Rach, you're blowing this completely out of proportion. You really need to talk to Sirius.”

“No I don't, and I won't.” And with that, Rachel got off the bed, and marched into the bathroom.

“Completely hopeless, that one is.” Lily mused. “Come on. We should probably go and see how the guys are doing.”

******************************************

In the boys' dorm, about the same time the girls were trying to wake Rachel up:

“NO! you can't make me get up!” Sirius screamed, holding on to his bed for dear life.

“Padfoot! You need to get up! It's almost 1 in the bloody afternoon!” Remus said, pulling one of Sirius' legs, while James tried to loosen his grip on his sheets.

“No! I don't care! I just want to sleep!” Suddenly, the corners of the sheet came out from under the mattress, causing Remus to go flying backwards, along with Sirius. They landed in a tangled heap on the ground, half under the next bed and half not. The sheet was twisted and knotted somewhere in between the two bodies and it was near impossible to distinguish one from the other.

“Bloody hell! Sirius, look what you've done now!” came Remus' muffled voice.

“Me!?! You were the one that was pulling my leg!”

“Well if you had just woken up like a normal person, I wouldn't have had to do that!”

“Well if you had just left me alone, like a good friend would have done, we wouldn't be in this bloody mess!”

“Um…guys, I hate to break this up and all, but you might want to get off the floor.” James said, amusedly, sitting on the bed. A few grunts and yelps of pain later, Sirius and Remus sat on the floor side by side, both looking extremely flustered.

“Good, now, Sirius, would you like to explain what's going on?” James asked, taking control of the situation.

Sirius opened his mouth to respond but Remus interrupted. “And don't try to say there's nothing wrong, cuz we know there is, and don't say you won't tell us, cuz you're gonna end up telling us either way.”

“Oh yeah and why is that?” Sirius challenged.

“Well because if you just tell us by choice, then that's all fine and dandy, but if you try to say no, just be warned that we have plenty of blackmail items on you that we've gathered over the years.”

Sirius looked as if he was still going to hold back, but then relented. “Ok, ok. Fine. I should probably tell someone anyway.” He took a deep breath and began telling them about the feelings he had been having for Rachel and how he didn't know how to express them.

“…So I kissed her.”

Silence.

Complete and utter silence.

“Hello? Are you guys dead? Say something!”

“You…that is to say…you…she…” James tried to get out.

“What he's trying to say, “ Remus began, trying to comprehend it himself, “ is that you were talking to Rachel last night, and realized you had these feelings for her and instead of talking to her, you kissed her?!?”

“Yes” he said meekly.

James got off the bed, walked over to Sirius and whacked him over the head.

“Ow! What the bloody hell was that for?”

“Sirius! You are the biggest moron on the face of the earth! You can't just go up to a girl and kiss her without knowing how she feels first! Even I know that!”

“He's right, “ Remus added. “It's bad if you do that with any girl, but Rachel is your friend. Things are gonna be complicated as hell from now on.”

“I know! It's just that she looked so bloody hot in those tiny shorts and tight shirt and I just couldn't stop thinking about how good she would look out of them…and before I knew it, I was kissing her! I honestly didn't mean for it to happen!”

“Sirius…from what I just heard, it sounds like what you feel is lust. You're attracted to her physical beauty.” Remus said

“No, no. It's not just that. I mean yeah, she's sexy as hell, but I love just being with her. I love making her smile and laugh. She's great to talk to, and seems to understand me better than I understand myself.”

“Ok…well how did she react to your kiss?” At this, Sirius clapped a hand over his eyes and groaned.

“She completely flipped out. She started screaming and ranting about how I was just using her because I couldn't find anymore sluts, and that I don't respect her as a friend…how can she think so little of me? I haven't been like that for a while now! I can't believe she has such little faith in me, in our friendship.”

“Sirius, mate, I think you need to talk to her before things get completely out of hand.”

“No. I won't talk to her unless she apologizes for how she reacted.”

“Sirius, you're acting like a child.” Remus said through gritted teeth.

“I don't care.” And with that, Sirius went to the bathroom to change so that he could go to breakfast…lunch.

“Come on.” Remus sighed. “ We should see what's going on with the girls. It can't be worse than this.”

James snorted. “ Don't be too sure. If Sirius is this dramatic, just imagine what Rachel will be like. Girls are insane. They blow everything out of proportion. That's why I always say”

“ I know! I know! It's best to just not get emotionally involved with girls. I know prongs. But we don't have time to deal with your issues right now. We need to go see Sarah and Lily.” Remus said, exasperatedly.

“I do not have issues. I'm just the most practical and logical of the group.”

“Yeah, ok Prongs.”

“Well look on the bright side. Sirius said that Rachel said that Sarah probably likes you back.”

“Yeah, but thanks to the oh-so-wonderful-Sirius, I probably won't get a chance to ask her out for a while.”

“Oh, don't worry. Everything will work out in time. Rachel and Sirius are not ones to stay angry for long.”

“Yeah. I guess you're right.”

Down in the common room Sarah and Lily were sitting on the sofa talking quietly. Remus was about to say something to them, but James held out his hand to stop him. The girls had not noticed the boys' presence yet. He smirked, turned to Remus and winked before walking to stand behind the sofa and bent down a little bit.

“AAAHHHHH!!!!” he screamed as loud as he could near the girls' ears.

“AAAAAHHHHH!!!” both girls screamed. Sarah jumped up high in the air and landed hard on the ground, while Lily swung her arms backwards, slugging James straight in the face. Remus just watched the scene with a highly amused expression on his face.

“ARG!!” yelled James, bringing his hand to his injured face. “What the bloody hell was that for?!!?”

“Ohmigosh! James! I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming to attack us or something, and it was just a reflex to swing my arms! Are you ok?!?” Lily asked frantically.

“Yeah, I'b fide. But I thik by dose is broked.” James said thickly, holding his sore nose.

“Oh! Here, I'll fix it.” Lily took out her wand and said a healing spell that instantly fixed James' nose.

“Thanks Lil! How'd you know how to do that?”

Lily snorted. “Please, I've been friends with you four natural disasters since I was a little girl. You'd probably all be dead by now if I didn't know these handy little spells.”

“Yeah, you're probably right. Smart thinking. Hey Sarah, you alright?” Sarah had picked herself off the floor and was now seated on the sofa, watching the exchange between James and Lily with interest.

“I'm fine.” She said, waving it off. “I'd be more pissed, but I think Lily already punished you enough.”

“I've warned you not to do these kinds of things before, prongs.” Remus said, walking over and sitting down next to Sarah. “They always back fire on you.”

“I know, but it's still fun.”

Remus rolled his eyes at this. “So we came down here to see if you guys were up to date with the whole Rachel, Sirius thing.”

“Oh yeah. How much do you guys know?” Lily asked.

“How much do you guys know?” James questioned, narrowing his eyes.

Sarah rolled her eyes. That seemed to be happening a lot to James lately. “We know that Rachel came down here to talk to Sirius last night, and that he ended up kissing her.”

“Yeah. That's basically what happened. And now Sirius is angry at her because she still think of him as a playboy/heartbreaker.”

“Oh. Yeah, and she's mad at him because he `screwed up their friendship and he has no right to do that.' That is a direct quote…or close enough. Oh by the way, did Sirius tell you guys what he need to talk to Rachel about? We forgot to ask her.”

“Oh…er…no.” Remus said, nervously.

Lily narrowed her eyes at the two boys. “ What's going on? Why are you two looking so twitchy?”

“Nothing's going on. Why would anything be going on? Honestly Lil, Have some faith!” James defended.

“Anyway, I think we have bigger problems at hand.” Remus said, trying to change the subject. It worked…for now anyway.

“You're right. Rachel and Sirius not talking to each other. This is not good. And they haven't even seen each other since `the incident.' It's gonna be hell when they come face to face. Neither are very good at hiding their emotions.” Lily said

“So, what do you think we should do?” James asked. Before anyone could answer, the sound of two doors closing could be heard. Then, Rachel and Sirius could be seen coming down the steps of their respective dorms. At first, neither noticed the other.

“Hey guys, what's up?” they both asked at the same time, referring to the four friends situated in the middle of the common room.

The silence was deafening. While Sirius and Rachel glared daggers at each other, Sarah, Lily, James and Remus looked between the two nervously.

“So…who's hungry?” James asked, hoping they would just forget what had happened. They didn't.

“Sarah, Lily, I'll be in the library doing some homework. I'll be back in a few hours.” Rachel said, briskly. Then, without a second glance, she turned at walked out of the common room.

Sirius just made an immature face at her retreating back and went to sit on a chair by the fire, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You know, both of you are being incredibly childish.” Lily said matter-of-factly. “If you just talked to…”

“No. I won't talk to her unless she apologizes.” Sirius interrupted.

“Rachel is the same way. She won't talk to him unless he apologizes.” Sarah said, sighing.

“What! What did I do that I need to apologize for?!?”

The other four just stared at him incredulously.

Sirius sighed in defeat “Ok fine. Point taken. I shouldn't have kissed her.”

“Now he gets it.” Remus muttered.

Sirius just glared at him.

“Still, if you just…”

No! I won' t talk to her. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm bloody starving. I'll be in the kitchens.”

“This is not good.” James said after Sirius had left.

“Thank you captain obvious. Care to share some more of your wonderful insight?” Lily said, sarcastically.

“Well, if we're not doing anything here, we might as well head down to the great hall for some lunch.” James said, standing up.

The four went down to eat lunch, where a few students were still finishing up.

“Hey Lily.” Lily looked up.

“Oh hey John! What's up?”

“Nothing really, what about you?”

“Lot's of drama…but nothing we can't handle.”

“Oh. Well I was wondering if you wanted to take a walk outside with me later today, say around 6ish?”

“Yeah! That'd be great. I'll meet you right by the doors.”

“Ok great. See you then.” And he walked back to his table.

“Ooo Lil! He just asked you on a date!” Sarah squealed.

“That is not a date.” Lily insisted. “We're just taking a walk, and getting to know each other better.”

“Lil, you just listed two things that you're going to do. Both of which are done on dates.”

“Not to mention some other things.” James said smartly, winking. Sarah kicked him under the table.

“Ow!” he said, rubbing his leg. `Well this is good. At least I don't feel like murdering John anymore. Lily's going on a date. Whatever. Score! I don't feel anything.' James though happily to himself.

“Oh god. I need to figure out what to wear!” Lily suddenly exclaimed, jumping up. “Come on Sarah! We need to go!” And with that, the two girls hurried out of the great hall.

“So, when are you gonna ask Sarah out?” James asked Remus.

Remus sighed. “I dunno. I think I'm gonna wait till Sirius and Rachel sort out their issues. We don't need anymore drama right now.”

“Good thinking moony. You always are the sensible one. Come on. I still need help with the defense homework.”

The two boys left the great hall, for a brief period of peace before all hell would break loose in the Gryffindor common room.

*********************************************************

A/N: and there it is! What'd you think? Review with comments/suggestions. Again, I'm always open to constructive criticism. I really appreciate it. if you have any ideas/preferences, don't hesitate to tell me!

Till next time then.

~Xoxoxo~

Jdeppfan56

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6. of fights and understandings

A/N: hey guys! Here's chapter 6. Sorry soo much for the looonnng wait. I've just started college and its tons of work, so I really haven't had time

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Warning: this chapter contains sexual material. If you feel uncomfortable reading it, please don't, and don't get mad at me. This is an R rated story! I'll put a **** at the beginning and end, so u can skip it if you like.

************************************

Rachel sat in the library with a scowl on her face and her arms crossed over her chest. She had her textbook open on the table but had not gotten past the first sentence in the hour and a half she had been sitting there.

`Ugh…what's wrong with me? Why am I making such a big deal out of just a simple kiss? I should let him explain. No! What am I'm thinking? He was completely out of line. He had no right to kiss me. He should have just talked to me. Still though…it was just a kiss. Why am I this upset? Maybe it's because you liked the kiss and want another one. Maybe it's because with that kiss, Sirius told you that he feels the same way you feel about him. So! I've felt that way about him for a while. But it hasn't brought me down yet. Why am I all confused all of a sudden? Because now that you know he feels the same way, there's a chance you could get together. And if you get together, there is an even bigger chance Sirius could break your heart. Oh, so now I'm some lovesick fool who's afraid of getting hurt in a relationship? I'll have you know, that I have never cried over a guy before. Well that's because you've never actually cared about any of them. Sirius, on the other hand, already means a lot to you, and you're not even together yet! What do you mean `yet!!' I have no intentions of going out with him. And he only means a lot to me because we're such good friends. Make whatever excuses you want, but face it. You're scared of falling in love with him and then having your heart broken. No I'm not. I'm still not talking to him though. And I really need to stop arguing with myself. It doesn't get me anywhere.'

With a sigh, Rachel gathered her books and exited the library. When her stomach grumbled with hunger, she realized that she hadn't eaten lunch. She considered going down to the kitchens but decided that there was a good chance that Sirius was there, and since she had taken to avoiding him like the plague, going there might not be the best idea right now. Instead, she decided to head back to the common room and eat whatever junk food she had left over in her dorm.

As Rachel entered the common room, she heard laughter coming from near the fireplace. She looked over and saw James and Remus pointing their wands at a few unsuspecting third years making their bottles of ink fly away as soon as their quills got near them.

Rachel rolled her eyes and made her way over to them.

“Guys, stop being such jack-asses and let the poor kids get their work done, which I also suggest for the two of you.”

“Awww Rachel, you just have to take the fun out of everything don't you.” James pouted, slumping back on to the sofa.

“So…Rach, how are you?” Remus asked cautiously, expecting an outburst.

“Relax Remus, I'm not gonna yell at you. No, no. I'm saving all my energy for that great prat of a friend you have.”

“Well, atleast she's gonna talk to him.” James said brightly.

Rachel glared at him. “I'll have you know, I will not be the one initiating the conversation. He's gonna have to apologize first, then I'll yell at him.”

“Ah, I see.”

Just then, the portrait hole opened and in came none other than Sirius. He stopped short at seeing Rachel sitting on the sofa, but decided that he would not let her kick him out of the common room. He strode up with his head held high and plopped down in the sofa across from her, with James and Remus on either side of him.

Rachel just glared at him, while Sirius returned the favor. James and Remus sat in an attentive silence, waiting for the outburst. For they knew that the two individuals they were dealing with could never keep their anger in for too long. Oh no, an outburst would definitely come, and come it did.

“Problem?” Sirius asked, coldly.

“Oh, so now you decide to talk to me.” Rachel scoffed.

“Excuse me?”

“You couldn't have talked to me before could you? But nooo you had to go straight and kiss me! You had no right to do that!”

“Yeah? Well you had no right to say those things about me! I haven't been like that for a long time and you know it!”

“But kissing me was way out of line! You just acted without thinking and went ahead and screwed up our friendship!”

Both were standing up now, and all but yelling. James and Remus just watched the exchange, moving their heads back and forth as if watching a tennis match.

“Well it wouldn't be ruining our friendship if you would just give me a try!! I can't believe you don't trust me! It's been a long time since I've been the guy you're afraid of dating!”

“Yeah, if you call four months a long time!”

“Well maybe I do! I mean come on, I'm a full-blooded teenage boy! Not sleeping with someone for four months is a bloody long time!”

Remus slapped his forehead and shook his head at his friend's stupidity.

“I can't believe you just said that! You disgusting pig! That just shows that all you wanted from me was a good shag! Then what, we're just back to being friends as if nothing happened?!?!”

“NO! That's not all I want from you! I actually care about you Rachel!”

“I'm so sure you do!!”

“I do! I like to be with you, talk to you, listen to you…and sure, I'd love to shag you, but that's definitely not all I'm looking for.”

“How do I know that for sure? How do I know that you won't just shag me and leave me?” Rachel asked, bringing her voice down to almost a whisper.

Sirius, completely caught off guard by her mournful expression and the obvious sincerity of her question just gaped at her.

“I mean, I want to trust you, but I'm scared of getting hurt.” She said, looking up to meet his eyes.

Sirius sighed and ran a hand through his silky hair. “Rachel, “ he began. “ I don't know how to convince you that I'm trustworthy, but just know that what I'm about to say is as true as the fact that my name is Sirius Black.” He paused and moved closer to Rachel so he was standing in front of her.

“Look. I don't know a lot of things in this world. But I do know a few things. I know that I love to hear you laugh. I know that I love talking to you and just being with you. I know that whenever I'm upset or angry, you're there to help me. I know that I'll always be there for you. I'll be your shoulder to cry on. I know that if you gave me the chance, I'd show you what true love really is. I've always told myself that the perfect girl would eventually come in my life. I just never realized that she's always been there. “

Tears had gathered in Rachel's eyes and she was trying her hardest to hold them back. James and Remus were looking at Sirius as if they had never seen him before. Who knew he had it in him to feel that way about a girl? Lily and Sarah, who had come down from the dorm when they heard screaming, where standing together, practically holding their breaths.

“I know that I want to make you happy, to be the reason you smile during the day.” he continued, moving closer to Rachel. “I know that I will never make you cry, and will make sure no one else makes you cry either.”

He had moved so close now that Rachel had to bend her neck slightly to be able to look into his eyes.

“I also know that you're constantly on my mind. You're the first thing that I think of in the morning and the last thing I think of when I fall asleep. And I know that I want you, and need you in my life. I want you to trust me, to be able to rely on me. And I promise I'll do anything in my power to prove myself to you.”

By now Rachel had tears streaming down her face.

“Oh god…” she sobbed. And before she got another word out of her mouth, she had raised up on her tiptoes, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

It was a gentle kiss, full of meaning and understanding. She wanted him to know that she would find a way to trust him, that she needed him as much as he needed her.

Sirius couldn't believe what was happening. Never did he imagine that she would do that. He kissed back, just as gently and with just as much feeling, trying to let her know that he would never let her down, that he would be loyal and faithful.

Slowly, they pulled apart, but Sirius kept his hands on her waist to keep her from moving away. He tenderly wiped some of the tears that were left on her cheeks and rested his forehead on hers.

“Thank you.” He whispered. “Thank you for giving me this chance. “

Rachel smiled up at him and gave him another quick peck on the lips before pulling out of his arms.

“Finally!” Remus yelled, high-fiving James. “I don't think I could have handled the tension for much longer.”

“They've been fighting for less than a day!” Sarah exclaimed!

“Yes, and what a long day it's been.” James said, agreeing with Remus.

“Oh Rach!” Lily exclaimed, running over to her friend and enveloping her in a hug. “I'm so happy for you guys!”

“Thanks Lil, and sorry I've been so hard to deal with.”

“Nah, all is forgiven…on one condition.”

“What's that?” Rachel asked, suspiciously

“That you help me get ready for my `date' with John tonight.” She said with a smile.

“You're…what?!?”

“John asked me to take a walk with him outside tonight at 6.”

“Oh my god!! Really!! This is so exciting!” she squealed. “Holy shit! It's 4 already! We only have 2 hours to get you ready! Ok, we have no time to lose. Come on!” and with that, she pulled Lily up the stairs, with Sarah bringing up the rear.

The three guys just stood there trying to understand what just happened.

“It's amazing how fast girls can go from one topic of conversation to another, isn't it?” Sirius mused.

“Yeah, makes my head spin sometimes.” James replied. “Sometimes I wonder if that's why guys can never understand girls. We're still talking about one thing, while they've moved onto a whole new random topic!”

“And then they yell at us for not listening to them!” Sirius exclaimed.

“We're just innocent victims of the crazy minds of girls” James said, sounding dazed. “None of it is ever our fault!”

“You two are insane, you know that?” Remus asked, looking at the two with concern.

“Yeah…Oh! I don't think I told you, but Rachel said that she thinks that Sarah would say yes if you asked her out.” Sirius said.

“Really? Great. Maybe I'll ask her out later today.”

“What about you James, who's the flavor of the week?” Sirius asked.

“Amber Murray. She's a seventh year Ravenclaw.”

“Oh yeah. Long blonde hair, blue eyes. Think it might turn serious?” Sirius asked.

“No.” scoffed James “I've told her already that I'm not looking for anything serious. She seems to be fine with our mostly physical relationship. Tell you the truth, she doesn't seem like the settling down type either.” Both Sirius and Remus exchanged defeated looks.

“I don't know why you two are so surprised. It's not like we haven't been through this almost every fucking week of my life. I don't fall in love. I don't believe in love. “ James said, exasperatedly.

“You just wait Prongs. You may say you don't believe in love, but one day, when you're least expecting it, it's gonna come hit you in the face, and then you'll see just how wrong you've been.” Remus said.

“Yeah. Yeah. So what else is new?”

“Er…well we do have to do that charms essay.” Sirius said.

“Oh shit, you're right. Let's go do that.” Remus replied.

******************************************

“Soo Rach, finally worked out your issues with Sirius huh?” Lily said teasingly, looking at her through the mirror while Rachel did her hair.

“Hey! Atleast we're not ignoring each other and messing up everyone's friendships.”

“Yeah, now you're just shagging buddies.” Sarah said, with a smirk.

“That's not true! We're more than shagging buddies. We're actually going out, like boyfriend, girlfriend. “

“Wait! You've shagged Sirius?!?” Lily exclaimed

“Lil! Hold still or I'm gonna mess up! And no, I haven't shagged him, but since it's me and Sirius, I'm sure it'll happen soon.”

“Rach!” Lily exclaimed

“What? It's not like I'm a virgin anymore. Remember? I lost it to some Hufflepuff at the beginning of last year.”

“I know, it's just that it seems weird to me that you can take sex so lightly. No offense or anything! It's just that I always think of my first time being with someone I love who loves me just as much.”

“I know you do. And trust me. That seems just as weird to me, as my way does to you. But I guess being a virgin bride isn't as important to me as it is to you. I just don't think it matters that much…ok your hair is done.” Rachel replied, ending the conversation.

“Wow. It looks great. Thanks Rach!” Lily's hair had been straightened, and then curled slightly at the ends. Rachel had parted it to the side and bobby pinned one side up, letting some hair fall over one side of her place.

“Ok. Now time for make-up.”

“Don't put too much on. Just some eye-liner and lip gloss.” Lily said.

“Fine. So…Sarah…have your eyes set on any guys at the moment?”

Sarah looked up from the magazine she had been flipping through. “Er…no comment?”

“Psshh, like that's gonna work with us.” Rachel scoffed.

“Yeah, come on Sar! Tell us” Lily added.

“Lil! Stop talking! I'm gonna mess up your make up!” Rachel interrupted.

“Well…there is this guy, but I don't think it's gonna happen. I mean we've been friends forever, so I doubt he feels this way for me.”

“Oh my god! Ok, so there are only four guys that we've been friends with for a long time. Namely, James, Sirius, Remus and Peter. Now, think about it logically. Peter like never hangs out with us anymore so it's not him. James is convinced love doesn't exist, so it's not him…I don't think so anyway…besides, he's Lily's. Then there's…”

“What!!! Who said anything about James being mine? In case you've missed it, but I'm dating John. I have no feelings for James at all!!” Lily interrupted.

“Ok Lily. Whatever.” Rachel agreed. “Now, as I was saying…then there's Sirius who's mine. So, by process of elimination, we have Remus!!” she said triumphantly.

Throughout Rachel's spiel, Sarah's face had been getting redder by the second and she was staring determinedly at her shoes.

Finally she relented. “Ugh fine fine! You guys win. I kinda have feelings for Remus.” Sarah said, avoiding her friend's faces.

“Oh this is so great! You guys would make a great couple!” Lilly cooed.

“Woah. Don't jump to conclusions Lil. I'm not sure if he even likes me yet.”

“Oh don't worry. I have a feeling you guys will be getting together very soon.” Rachel said mysteriously.

“What? What do you mean? What did you do?” Sarah asked nervously

“Nothing! And I'm not telling you anything. You'll just have to wait and see.”

“I hate you.” Sarah grumbled, and went back to reading her magazine.

“Nah, you're just upset right now. You really do love me. All done Lil!”

“Oooh turn around Lil! Let me see.”

Lily was dressed in a pair of jeans and an off the shoulders sweater. Her hair went a little past her shoulders and her make up was done lightly, but accentuated her features.

“You look great Lil. He won't know what hit him.” Sarah said.

“Wow. I'm good.” Rachel said, looking Lily up and down.

“Yeah you really are Rach. Thanks.” Lily said

“Any time Lils.”

“Oh! It's 5:45. I should probably get down to the doors to meet John. Are you guys sure I look ok?”

“Yes! You look amazing! Now go! And have fun!” Sarah said.

“Thanks! I will.” Lily replied, walking out the door.

When Lily reached the main entrance to the castle, she found John already patiently waiting for her. He looked up at the faint sound for her heels echoing in the large hallway.

“Wow. You look absolutely beautiful.” He said when she came up to stand in front of him.

“Thanks, you don't look too shabby yourself.” And he didn't, with his khaki pants and button down shirt, whose sleeves were casually rolled up to his elbows.

“Shall we go then?” he asked, offering her his hand. She accepted and they made their way out into the dusk. It was still September, so the evening was still quite warm.

As they made their way towards the glistening lake, Lily thought she saw a faint light coming from over there.

`Hmm… I wonder what that is. I've never seen it before.' She thought. She didn't have to wait long before finding out.

John was slowly leading her over to a large willow tree near the edge of the lake. Under the tree, he had set up a table set for two. Candles were floating around the table to give just the right amount of light, and combined with the setting sun on the other side of the lake, the setting seemed to be just perfect.

“Wow.” Breathed Lily. “It's beautiful, John.”

“Well, after I asked you out I was thinking, and decided that a simple walk around the lake wasn't special enough for a girl like you.”

Lily turned to John and gave him a wide smile. “Thanks. It really is perfect.”

“I'm glad you like it. You hungry?” he asked, pulling out her chair for her. “Just tell your plate what you want to eat and it'll appear on the plate.”

“Ooo dining in style” Lily said, still grinning.

“Only the best for you m'dear.” John replied, bowing.

The two spent the evening talking and getting to know each other better. Lily found herself immensely enjoying John's company. He made her smile and made her feel special. Somewhere in the back of her mind she wondered if maybe John was the one. The one that fate had brought to her, the one that was meant to become the other part of her soul.

`Oh god. We're only on our first date and I'm already wondering if we're meant to be together forever!' Lily thought, inwardly rolling her eyes at herself. `I should just stop and take it one day at a time. If it was meant to last, then it will.'

******************************************

“I'm bored.” Rachel complained to Sarah. It was 6:00 and Lily had just left for her date with John.

“You do have a lot of homework to do.” Sarah said, not looking up from her potions notes.

“Ugh. Please. It's Saturday night. Let's go see what the guys are doing.”

“You mean to go see what Sirius is doing so that you can snog him senseless?”

“Yes. Now let's go.” The two girls got up and went across the common up to the boys' dormitory. Knocking on the door once, then let themselves in.

“Hey! We could have been changing in here or something!” Sirius exclaimed, looking up from the quidditch magazine he was reading on his bed.

“Yeah, well you're not. And besides, I don't think Rachel would mind seeing that sight.” Sarah said, taking a seat on the edge of Remus' bed.

“Sarah!” Rachel exclaimed, slapping Sarah on the shoulder, but blushing all the same.

“Ahem, anyway.” Remus began, changing the subject. “What's up?”

“Nothing, we were bored. Where's James?” Rachel asked.

“He's out with his girl of the week, Amber something or other. And before you ask, no it won't turn into anything serious. They're basically both using each other for sex.” Remus replied.

“Ah. I see. Well, at least James isn't going to break her heart when he dumps her in a few days. “ Sarah said.

An awkward silence soon fell in the room. Remus, nervous about asking Sarah out, was fidgeting and kept his eyes locked firmly on his hands. Sarah, in turn, kept glancing around the room, waiting for someone to say something. Rachel and Sirius kept sending each other quick glances and then looking away. Sarah, fed up with this nonsense, decided to do something.

“I'm really hungry. Does anyone wanna go get something to eat?” she asked, standing up.

“I'll go.” Remus volunteered. “You guys coming?”

“Nah, you guys go ahead. We'll be down in a bit.” Rachel answered for both her and Sirius.

“'K. See ya.” And they walked out the room, leaving the newly formed couple alone.

“So, what's up?” Rachel asked, taking a seat at the foot of Sirius' bed, looking down at her hands, unsure of what to do.

Sirius sighed and got up to sit next to her. “Rach, just cuz we're going out, doesn't mean that you have to act all different on me. There's no need to act uncomfortable. I mean come on, we've known each other forever.”

“I know…it's just that, I don't know how to act anymore. I mean we're not just friends anymore. Aren't there different rules now?”

“Rules? What rules? Nah. The only thing different is that I get to spoil you whenever I feel like it. Otherwise, you just act the same way you have been. Oh, one more thing though.”

“What's that?” Rachel asked, already guessing where this was going.

“I also get to do this whenever I want.” And he leaned over and kissed her. It was short and sweet, but didn't lack the feeling.

“I think I'm gonna like this new relationship.” Rachel said, pulling away.

“Me too.” Sirius said, pulling her back for a more passionate kiss. He teased and coaxed her mouth, making Rachel feel like she was drowning in a blissful ocean of love, never again wanting to surface.

They didn't stop even when they fell backward on to the bed, with Sirius on top. He brushed his tongue across her lower lip, asking for entrance, which she granted. He explored every angle of her mouth with his tongue, wanting to feel every part of her.

Rachel's mind was in over load. The feelings he was provoking in her were incredible. His hands were roaming all over her body, making each piece of flesh they touched come to life. His tongue, dueling with hers was arousing her to no end.

When breathing became a necessity, Sirius left her mouth and made his way to her jaw. He left a trail of moist kisses up to her ear and then made his way down to her neck.

“Oh god…” Rachel moaned, as he found a particularly sensitive piece of flesh, just under her ear. Her hands were tangled in his hair and were gently pulling at the silky strands. This wasn't enough. She needed more.

She found her hands travelling down his back until they reached the hem of his shirt. Her skillful hands lingered near the belt of his pants, slipping just under the surface every once in a while, erotically arousing. She finally grabbed his shirt and pulled it over his head.

Her hands traveled up and down his bare back, lightly scratching. She could feel each of his defined muscles moving and his back rising and falling with his rapid breath.

“Merlin…Rachel.” Sirius groaned. “Merlin, I want you. I need you.” His lips returned to hers in an electrifying kiss. He brought his hips down to meet hers, pressing his hardening length against her thigh. He brought his hands down to her sides and lifted her shirt above her head.

He began kissing down her neck, to the valley of her breasts while his hands undid the clasp behind her back. With nothing in the way, Sirius bent his head down and covered one achingly hard nipple in his mouth while he teased the other one with his hand.

Rachel arched her back off the bed, wanting to feel more, and needing the burning between her legs to be soothed. She brought her hands down to his pants again and began undoing the belt. Slowly, she pushed them down his legs and soon they were thrown on the floor.

Sirius moved to the other nipple, while his hands moved south and took off her pants, leaving both only in their underwear. Sirius's hands stopped at the band of the small black lace panties she was wearing, and he looked down at her, making sure she was ok with this. She answered him by bringing her hands to the band of his boxers and sliding them off his body. Taking that as consent enough, Sirius took her panties off, leaving both completely naked.

His mouth returned to hers while his hands moved to her most private areas. He began stroking her and slid one finger inside. He began pumping in and out while circling her nub with his thumb.

“Oh god…oh my god.” came the broken gasps of Rachel. She was in heaven. She had known that Sirius was talented in this area, but never imagined this. She slowly brought her hands down from gripping his shoulders, to stoke his hard member. Her fingers trailed up and down, teasing and arousing.

Sirius stopped his administrations and Rachel almost cried out in disappointment. She arched her back, hoping for more contact, but to no avail. Sirius brought his hand up and began teasing her nipple.

“I can't handle your teasing anymore. I feel like I'm about to explode. I need to be inside you. You're on something right?”

“Yeah.” Rachel whispered urgently, needing it as much as him.

With that simple word, Sirius put both his hands on either side of Rachel's head and slipped inside of her. Both groaned in approval and Sirius waited a moment to let her adjust to the size and feel of him.

Rachel, not able to stay still longer, arched her hips, sending him the message to start moving. He started pumping. In and out. In and out. Slowly, savoring the feeling.

“Faster” Rachel hissed. He picked up the speed and intensity until he was pounding into her like there was no tomorrow.

Rachel's hands gripped the sheets on Sirius' bed until her knuckles were white, and her toes were curled as much as they could go. .

Sirius groaned from the back of his throat as he felt Rachel's walls tighten around him. He was so close.

Suddenly, Rachel's back arched, eyes shut tight as she let out a small scream and came forcefully. Her orgasm hitting her over and over again.

Sirius exploded inside her, with an earth-shattering climax. He collapsed, spent yet satisfied on top of Rachel's sweating body.

They stayed like that, still joined, until they had caught their breaths. Sirius pulled out of her, and fell down next to her, pulling the sheets up over their rapidly cooling bodies.

****

Propping himself up on one elbow, Sirius looked down into Rachel's eyes, getting lost in the depths of them.

Suddenly, Rachel broke eye contact and looked away, uncertainty crossing over her face.

“Hey, what's wrong?” Sirius asked, bringing her face to face him again.

“I shouldn't have done that. That's exactly what I didn't want to happen.”

“What, you didn't want to have amazing sex with me?” Sirius smirked.

Rachel slapped his chest lightly. “ I was just afraid that if I slept with you too early in our relationship, that you would get bored quicker and leave me.” She said softly.

“Rachel, “ Sirius began softly. “ I told you before, and I'll tell you again. I need you to trust me. I need you to know that I need you in my life, not only as a friend. I need to be able to call you mine in front of everybody. I promised you before that this is not about sex. Sure, I mean the sex is great, but god that just made me want to spend even more time with you. I want to hold your hand, take walks with you, study together. I want it all with you. Please believe me.” he finished, taking a hold of her hand and kissing it gently.

Rachel just nodded and leaned up slightly to kiss him. “Ok. But you will regret it if you back out of your word. I'm only believing you so quickly cuz you're already one of my best friends.”

“Trust me. I have no doubt that you could do some serious damage to me. But I prefer not to think about it right now. I'm hungry. What do you say we go down a grab a bite to eat?”

“Sounds good. I'm just gonna go run up to my room and freshen up a bit. I'll meet you in the common room in about fifteen minutes?”

“Yeah. That's fine.”

*************************************

“I wonder what happened to Rachel and Sirius.” Sarah said, while she and Remus ate dinner down in the great hall.

Remus snorted. “Knowing them, and the fact that we left them alone together, they're probably shagging each other senseless this very moment.

“You know, if I didn't know Rachel better, I'd say you're crazy and that she would never shag him the first day they got together. But the sad thing is, you're probably right.”

“Of course. I'm always right.” Remus said arrogantly.

“Please. Don't get cocky with me.” Sarah said. Remus raised his eyebrows at her choice of words, making Sarah blush a slight shade of red.

“You know, you're cute when you blush.” He said, causing Sarah to blush even more.

“I guess I'll take that as a compliment?” she wondered

“You should.” Remus said, nodding.

“Well in that case, thanks.” She said, sending him a smile.

Remus felt his heart melt at her beautiful smile. He wished that she would always smile at him like that.

“Hey Sarah, can I ask you something?” he began.

“Yeah, sure. Go ahead.”

“Now, don't feel pressured into anything. I know we've been friends for a long time and that that's all we've been. I really hope I'm not messing up our friendship or anything, and that I'm not…”

“Remus, you're babbling.” Sarah interrupted.

“Oh. Right. Sorry. Well, I was wondering, if you would, er, like to go to Hogsmede with me, like on a date. “ He said rather nervously.

“I'd love to.” Sarah said, happily.

“Really? Great. I just really hope this doesn't change anything, and you don't feel weird around me now.”

“It changes everything, but in a good way.” Sarah said, reaching across the table and gently squeezing his hand. Remus squeezed back, sending her a genuinely

happy smile.

*************************************

A/N: well there it is. What'd you think? I think I'm gonna get mixed reviews on this. Tell me if you think things were too rushed. Remember, review with suggestions and comments!!

~Xoxoxo~

Jdeppfan56

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