Something More Adventurous

MelissaMarie

Rating: R
Genres: Romance, Humor
Relationships: Lily & James
Book: Lily & James, Books 1 - 5
Published: 05/06/2005
Last Updated: 15/06/2005
Status: in_progress

Lily pulls her favorite boys into a dirty girls loo on the second floor with some very, very good news and a plan that must be divulged in secret. Random hilarity ensues. Plotless, fluffy, funny, simplistic. Follows Lily and The Marauders through the best years of thier lives. Oh the insanity...

Chapters

1. Girls Loo Interlude

2. The Concert Pt. 1

1. Girls Loo Interlude

Sirius was strolling along the second floor corridor, quite innocently, when a very attractive girl with astonishingly green eyes appeared out of nowhere and pulled him into a bathroom off to the side of the hall. Slipping slightly on the damp floor inside, he watched her poke her head out the door to check that the coast was clear, then shut and lock it with a snap.

“What's this about?”

She flashed that gorgeous, blinding smile of hers and leaned her back against the door.

“Gimme a minute. I want you all to be here first.”

He turned his head and observed the toilets distastefully.

“Lily, are we in a girls loo?”

She grinned again and unlocked the door so she could peer out.

“How come you lot get such nice pissing grounds?”

She closed the door once more and gave him a reproachful look.

“Cause we don't pee all over our `pissing grounds'.”

“Cause you're no fun.”

“Cause females are more advanced hygienically then males.”

“Cause you get off on big words like hygienically. What the- you get a couch in here?”

“Shhh!”

She checked her watch, grinned knowingly, and opened the door a crack. Sirius sank back into the couch and made a comment regarding Dumbledore's obvious favoritism of the opposite sex. When Lily paid him no mind he bounced up and down, discovering that the couch was unusually springy.

They both heard the sound of approaching footsteps and looked up. Lily pressed her eye against the crack and giggled quietly. Just as the footsteps seemed to pass the loo, she darted out and returned with a surprised looking James in toe. She trapped his body against the back of the door and it slammed shut with their weight. Then she took his hands and pressed them against the wall on either side of him, and he smiled with recognition and pleasure.

“Hi.” He said, and she laughed a little before she reached up on her tippy-toes to kiss him.

“Oh, vomit.” Sirius remarked dryly from where he was bouncing up and down on the couch. “If you've brought me here to watch you snog Prongs we could have just went back to the dormitories. Not like I don't see it every five minutes there anyway.”

They broke apart and James, still trapped against the door, leaned his head over Lily's shoulder to gape at him.

“Why are you here?” He was obviously a bit put out, and he definitely didn't look any cheerier when Lily released her hold on him and seated herself on a sink, swinging her legs and turning her head to smooth down her hair in the mirror.

“Nice to see you too, mate.” replied Sirius with a grin. “Did you know they've got a couch in here? Those damn slags don't realize how good they've got it.” He patted the empty space beside him cheekily.

Lily quit fussing with her hair and glared over at him.

“I hate it when you refer to women as “slags”. You know that. You do it just to piss me off.”

“And it works so well.” He smiled angelically at her before beckoning more forcefully for James to come sit down by him. “Come on Prongsie, I'm lonely over here. I didn't get a good snog when I was dragged into this miserable place.”

“I should hope not.” He replied, but he sat down beside him all the same. A look of intense fascination dawned on his face, sulkiness at finding someone else in the room forgotten. “My god this couch is springy!”

“Isn't it?”

Lily watched them bounce up and down in union and shook her head.

“You're making me reconsider the reason I brought you here.”

“Hey, I just had an idea!” Replied Sirius with false enthusiasm and a toothy smile, “You could actually tell us the reason you brought us here before you do the reconsidering! Crazy, I know.”

Lily made a face. James nodded his agreement, though you could hardly tell what with all the bouncing.

Instead of answering, Lily pulled back the sleeve of her robe and checked her watch.

“Hang on, he'll be here in a few minutes.”

“How many “he's” are you planning on dragging in here?” James questioned incredulously.

“Two more, actually. I told them to just meet me so I wouldn't have to do more kidnapping.”

Sirius elbowed James cheekily and waggled his eyebrows at her.

“Lily! You downright slag!”

She hurled a bar of soap at his head, and hit dead on, surprisingly. He shouted and flew back against the couch, clutching his face. Lily's eyes widened. She slapped her hands over her mouth, which was probably to muffle her laughter.

He yelled something unintelligible about going blind.

“Oh my god!” She gasped, trying not to laugh as she rushed over and kneeled on the couch in front of him.

James, on the other hand, was laughing hysterically.

“Oh my god, Sirius, I'm so sorry, here, let me have a look-“

He pushed her hands away petulantly.

“No! You'll hurt it worse you crazy wench!”

She huffed indignantly and continued trying to pry his hands away from his face.

The door banged open and they all jumped. Peter Pettigrew stood in the entrance with his jaw ajar.

“Merlin and Agrippa,” He exclaimed, taking in the sight of Lily practically sitting in Sirius's lap. “Since when did Lily start fancying Padfoot?”

Lily shoved off his legs impatiently, rolling her eyes. Sirius, still clutching his injured appendage, now joined in James's laughter.

“Do you mind shutting the sodding door, Peter? I didn't ask you to meet me in the dirtiest girls loo at Hogwarts for larks!”

“You didn't?” Questioned James, looking confused.

She ignored him and ran over to the door, closing it till there was just a tiny crack, which she peered through.

Sirius and James, who could have fun in just about any situation, including sitting for no known reason on a springy couch in a dirty girls loo (with an injured eye, Sirius would add), jovially waved Peter over to join them.

He sat down alongside James and looked around the toilets with his jar ajar.

“So this is what a girls loo looks like? Wow....”

Sirius snapped the fingers on his free hand in agreement.

“Exactly my thoughts, Wormtail! I think Dumbledore's really an old poof when it comes too-“

There was a soft knock on the door and Lily opened it to reveal Remus Lupin, looking bewildered but pleasant. She ushered him in and shut the door silently, clicking the lock shut behind her. Remus smiled mildly at the boys bouncing around on the couch and shouldered his ruck sack to the floor.

“Lovely place you've got here, Lily.”

She grinned at him indulgently.

“I fixed it up just for you.”

Sirius and the others eagerly signaled Remus over to the couch, and he approached them with some reluctance (“Can that be sanitary? It's a couch in a bathroom.” “A girls bathroom.” “Alright, fair point.”). He squished in between James and Sirius, who encouraged him to test out its unnatural springy-ness.

Lily waited patiently for them to stop bouncing around and elbowing each other. Once they had settled down a bit she moved to stand in front of the couch with her hands on her hips.

“Alright you lot! I have to admit, I've brought you here against my better judgment.” Here they each protested heartily, but Lily held up a hand to silence them. “Examples of my hesitation can be displayed by the fact that Sirius has nearly lost an eye-”

“Your fault, slag!”

“-and the way Peter slammed in here, shouting nonsense-“

“Well, you were on his lap...”

“-and the constant blabbering on about the couch being `springy'-“

“It is!”

“-but... none of that matters!”

They all looked surprised by the insanely large grin on her face, but none so much as James, who replied with a meek- “It doesn't?”

“No!” She answered, positively quivering with excitement. The boys looked at each other nervously.

Peter was the first to speak up. “Erm... why not?”

She let out a shrieking laugh and bounced on the balls of her feet. They really looked alarmed now.

“Because...” She paused, and then she started jumping up and down, screaming the rest of the sentence. “I got us all in to see Evanesco tonight!!!”

There was a ringing silence as four jaws came unhinged.

“Surely... you don't mean... the... Evanesco?” Asked Sirius, clutching his chest and looking an inch from heart failure. “Not the greatest band wizardkind has managed to produce? Not-“ He threw his head back against the wall and banged his head. “Great scott, I'm going to faint.”

Remus, while deeply enjoying their last two records, wasn't quite as devoted to the well-loved rock band, leaving him calm enough to pull a spare bit of parchment from his pocket and fan Sirius with it to stop him from overheating.

Peter's eyeballs looked about ready to fall out of his head.

James, however, had leapt up and captured Lily in a jumping, squealing, unintelligibly screaming hug, that he would later deny being a part of. He and Lily had loved Evanesco almost as long as Sirius had, and they liked to reminisce over the fact that the bands hit single “Untitled” had played on repeat during the five hours they spent talking over a butterbeer in The Three Broomsticks on their first date. By the time they had got up to leave they knew all the words by heart, and they had sung it out loud and danced all the way up the high road back to Hogwarts.

Remus, still fanning Sirius, who looked almost ill, turned a questioning look upon Lily.

“This is great news and all- but why'd we have to meet here? Why all the secrecy?”

Lily, her arm slung happily around James's waist, suddenly looked nervous.

“Because no one can know what we're planning to do! If word gets out, James and I would have our badges taken up, we'd lose all the house points from the match last week, we'd-“

“What do you mean, `planning to do'? We're just going to see a concert.” Remus replied, bemused.

Lily looked up at James and he seemed to understand perfectly. He, however, looked more excited than nervous.

“We're going to see them tonight,” She replied slowly. “This is the last show they'll be playing in a year. I could only get tickets for tonight and it's well... we have class tomorrow. And...”

Remus looked nervous now.

“And?”

“And it's... in Bristol.”

Peter swallowed nervously.

“How will we get there? The teachers keep an eye on all the floos to make sure we don't run off like this...”

Sirius, suddenly revived, bounded up with an enormous grin on his face.

“The motorbike!”

They looked around at each other and had to admit- you couldn't say “grand entrance” much better than arriving on a flying motorcycle.

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2. The Concert Pt. 1

Hey, you lot! Number one- I have a screen-name, Simplistic, on fanfiction.net and am not being plagiarized off of. Thanky kindly for your concern, though. Lol. Number two- get your butts over to my website, if you please! All the cool kids are doing it.... (Hee Hee). No really, it's a big message board where we have nice lovely discussions and post nice lovely stories. You should come join us, it's really appallingly fun. Here's the address- http://xsorbit28.com/users5/butterbeer/index.php. (If that link doesn't work, I'll put it up on my profile as well, alright?) My friend Danielle and I made it on a whim and have been having lots of fun with it so far. So come on, everybody needs to join up with us! I usually update there first, anyhow, and there are several other prominent Portkey writers who have stories of theirs up too. Number three- you guys are the best reviewers in the world and I love you all. So keep it up, yeah?

On with the random-ness!

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Hogsmeade is surprisingly dark considering it's only just past six, so the boys manage to get all the way to the end of the road, past the bustling shops and taverns, without drawing any attention to themselves.

“Damn lucky Sirius's flat is in town.” Remus remarked, leaning against a fence post. Peter nodded exuberantly. James smirked and continued kicking an empty butterbeer bottle around, hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans.

The three of them were gathered at the base of the mountain, where it's mostly grass and rocks and forgotten fence posts to lean on. Sirius was off sweet talking his landlady into getting the bike, and Lily was supposed to be along soon under James's invisibility cloak. It was only natural that she took longer to get ready than the boys had- this was Evanesco, for gods sake, and she had to look perfect.

“Do you suppose we have a better chance getting caught coming back in the morning as opposed to very late at night?”

“Well,” James replied, kicking the bottle to Remus now. “I'm guessing we won't be back until four or five o'clock in the morning, anyhow. Lily and I were thinking that since Padfoot's got extra robes at his place- when we get back we can crash there, shower, change, take a few nice healthy energy potions-“

“-We should take the Honeydukes passage, Marky never goes down the cellars that early and it's always cleared out and unlocked-“

“-Take the Honeydukes pass, pop out in school like good little boys-“

“-and girls-“

“-and sit in at breakfast like we hadn't spent all night out having the times of our lives.”

Remus shook his head and kicked the bottle back to him, Peter cheering them on.

“This is insane.”

The sun sank behind the tip of the mountain, looming above them, and James smiled.

“Isn't that the point?”

They stopped what they were doing when a significant rumbling noise met their ears.

Instinct made them search the streets- but then they remembered to look up and just missed Sirius landing on top of them. Scurrying out of danger, the boys had time to note that the bike was abnormally large and made Sirius look abnormally small. It was an amusing sight, especially when paired with the triumphant smirk on the little mans face.

He shut off the engine and Peter unclamped his ears reluctantly.

“Well lads,” He rubbed the shining chrome before him, still wearing that ridiculous, toothy smirk. “What do you think?”

James and Remus exchanged amused looks.

“As long as it gets us to Bristol without breaking down and sending us to an early grave.” Remus replied.

James started to laugh, but then Lily appeared from under his invisibility cloak and he forgot too.

“I think it's really brilliant Sirius,” Peter urged. “Really wicked-“

“LILY ANNE EVANS!”

They all jumped and turned to see what the commotion was about.

James was staring at his girlfriend with his mouth ajar, horror written on his face. The others couldn't understand why- she looked bloody gorgeous. Sure her skirt was a bit too short and her top could cover a bit more of her, but really, why complain? Lily was perfection walking around on two legs and lace up stilettos.

“What is it?” She looked irritated and maybe a little hurt. She had done something with her make-up, oh wait, she'd actually put some on, and her teeth looked even whiter than usual against the dark lipstick on her mouth. She was wearing a lot of black around her eyes and when she blinked her eyelashes sparkled.

“Beautiful, lovely, precious slag of mine!” Recited Sirius from his perch on the motorbike. “You look like you walked straight off the cover of Witch Weekly! And that's a compliment, so please don't throw anything at me. My eyes still all twitchy from earlier.”

“You do look Lovely, Lily.” Remus assured her, smiling. Peter nodded his agreement.

“Lovely isn't the word I would use, Moony. I was thinking more of a word that starts with an S and ends with a lag, if you know what I mean-“

After she whacked Sirius mercilessly with her handbag, Lily turned her eyes to James, which were standing out sensationally against the black. He looked like he couldn't settle on one place to stare at, which would have been okay if it weren't for the angry opening and closing of his mouth every few seconds.

He exploded.

“How am I going to keep them away from you?!”

Lily looked confused.

“Wha- who?”

James gestured with his arms wildly.

“I don't know- groping prats in the crowd, pervy bodyguards, insane lesbian fan-girls, hell, the boys of Evanesco themself!”

The boys snickered quietly in the background as Lily continued to look confused.

“But, why would they want me?”

“Because you're a bloody sex-bomb!”

She flashed that smile of hers and he could only smile back.

“Alright, alright!” Sirius called, eager to interrupt them before any snogging commenced. “Let's get the fucking show on the road!”

Everyone cheered.

But then came the obvious problem of fitting five full grown boys and girls on the back of a flying motorcycle.

“Well-“ Sirius looked at the stretch of space behind him pensively. “Let's see how many we can squeeze on before attempting an expanding charm.” He grinned at Lily and patted the space behind him. “Hop on, Slag. You're smallest, you can get squeezed in the middle.”

She frowned, now realizing the inconvenience of her short skirt and their current mode of transportation.

“Oh, what the hell.”

She slid around behind him and rolled her eyes as the others looked uncomfortable by the sudden shrinking of her skirt. James muttered something under his breath and got on too, squeezing in close and putting his arms around her waist.

“Hold on to Sirius, Lily- Go on and put the charm on Moony, there won't be enough room for both of you.”

Remus muttered the charm- tried again cause it only expanded a few inches- and then got on behind James, leaving Peter to clamber aboard last, clutching desperately at the back of his jacket.

Sirius revved the engine and whipped around to grin at Lily.

“Hold tight, dearest!”

She circled her arms around his waist and shouted above the noise- “This thing has an invisibility booster, right?”

“Of course! What kind of wizard do you take me for?”

He hit a switch and it was like a cloak draped over them. They could see each other and the bike just fine- but the shield was almost tangible around them, and if someone from below were to look, all they would see is sky.

“Very nice, Black!” She praised, but she sounded nervous. “Now, please don't kill us!”

He laughed out load as they started into the star-strewn sky.

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