Something She'd Never Said Before

Author’s Note: This is just a short one-shot that I HAD to write when I realized that no one other than his parents has actually said ‘I love you’ to Harry. I think that will turn out to be three of the most important words in Harry’s life, and I’m praying it’s Hermione who says it first. She gave him his first hug, his first kiss, and I’m hoping she’ll give him these three words before anyone else.

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“Don’t take unnecessary risks Harry,” Hermione cautioned. She looked to be in a genuine panic now. She knew him. She knew how unpredictable he could be, especially when things weren’t moving along quickly enough for his liking. “You heard what Dumbledore said before he died. Let him come to you. Fight him on your terms, not his.”

“I know, Hermione,” Harry said, trying not to be exasperated. The words of Voldemort’s messenger rang in his ears. The Dark Lord had given him a time and place for a final showdown. Harry could either accept or decline.

Fight him on my terms…

“I’m so scared,” Hermione said, “I can only imagine the fear you must be feeling.”

Actually, he was oddly calm. He was worried, yes, but now that he though he had a handle on the source of his powers, he thought he was ready to face Voldemort. Still, he couldn’t deny that there seemed to be something missing. He couldn’t put a finger on it though.

“I’m alright, Hermione, really.”

She stared out of the attic window of the house that was now being used for Order Headquarters. It was the Lovegood’s place, and it was the safest place in the world for Harry at that moment, almost as much as Privet Drive had been before Harry’s wretched Aunt and Uncle had kicked him out and told him never to return. Before his death, Dumbledore had put every known protective spell in the world around it.

“Try not to worry. Try to get some rest.”

“I can’t help but worry, Harry! I love you. I can’t bear the thought of you getting hurt, or dying.”

Hermione turned and began to pace, unaware of the impact her words had had upon him. Harry’s breath caught in his throat, his heart began to pound, and his stomach wriggled uncomfortably. He realized at that moment that he’d never actually heard anyone say those words to him.

I love you.

That was the first time anyone had ever said it to him that he could remember at any rate.

Something inside him seemed to awaken, something big, and powerful, something terrible and wonderful at the same time. He felt a surge of strength like he’d never known before. It was so intense that it scared him.

“You…what?” He choked out weakly.

“I can’t help but worry,” Hermione said again, seemingly oblivious to the effect her words had had on him.

“No, you said you…you…”

“Love you? Oh yes, I do!” she said. She wrapped her arms around him, squeezing him tight about the middle. Harry’s heart was so full of affection for her he thought it would burst in his chest. “I love you so much, Harry. I thought you knew that.”

Someone loves me... he thought mutely. She actually said it….

“Harry? Hermione? Mr. Lovegood says it’s time for lights out!” Ron’s voice called from downstairs. Hermione pulled away from him and he saw she had tears shining on her face.

“We’ll be right down, Ron,” Hermione called back. “Promise me you won’t go tonight. Promise me you’ll make him come to you.”

Harry nodded mutely. That seemed to satisfy Hermione, and she headed for the door.

Someone loves me…

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Harry lay in bed, tossing and turning.

I love you so much…

How was it he’d gone through life without consciously realizing that no one had ever actually come right out and said that they loved him? He imagined his mother and father must have said it when he was a baby, but he’d been too young to remember that now. His aunt and uncle certainly had never said it. Not even Mrs. Weasley had said it, though he knew she’d felt it. Girls had professed crushes on him, but they’d never said anything like that.

Then Hermione said it.

She’d said it twice.

Harry felt like his chest was on fire. His soul was burning in the fibers of his flesh. He felt a sense of euphoria like he’d never known before. A bubble of hope had taken root in his heart and it was painfully good. He had someone in the world who loved him. He knew she hadn’t been lying, hadn’t been saying it for his benefit. She’d meant it.

He couldn’t stand it another moment. He had to see her, if only to watch her sleep.

Harry got up and donned his invisibility cloak. Once he was hidden, he made his way slowly and quietly across the hall to the room Hermione shared with Ginny and Luna. He eased the door slowly open, and entered, finding all three girls asleep. He sat down on the floor beside her bed and watched her sleep, her face glowing softly in the silvery light of the moon.

Her dreams, he could tell, were uneasy. Her pretty face was pinched up in a frown and she seemed to be struggling with something, or someone, in her dream. Gently, he reached out and caressed her face, and then took her hand in his.

His touch seemed to calm her. He wondered if she’d awakened when she gripped his hand firmly in hers, but soon he realized she was still asleep. Immediately she began to calm. Her face relaxed, her body relaxed, and she sighed.

It was the missing thing in his powers, he realized, knowing that there was someone in the world who loved him. Someone who’d said it. Hermione was his shield now, he couldn’t deny it. She was his protector, whether she was at the place where he fought Voldemort or not, she would be his shield. Her love now ensconced his heart, and no matter what Voldemort threw at him, he would be able to take it, he would overcome because she loved him…and he loved her.

He wanted to stay there, frozen, in that moment, watching her sleep, reveling in the revelation that she loved him enough to say it, and that he loved her enough to live for her.

“I love you too, Hermione.”