The Sound of Silence

Disclaimer: JK owns everything but for the plotline, which I'm sure is mine. Oh, and Adelaide is mine, too.

Summary: I look at you, you never look back. You used to. You used to be the one asking me out. You used to be rejected by me. Why is it that life is so hard? And when is it that we'll be on the same wavelength, having a conversation of silence?

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The Sound of Silence

I look at you, you never look back. You used to. You used to be the one asking me out. You used to be rejected by me. Why is it that life is so hard? And when is it that we'll be on the same wavelength, having a conversation of silence?

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They were always her favourite. My mother's favourite. You know, those weird contradictory remarks. The oxymorons. You know; like she always used to say that she and dad would sit in silence and still have the best conversations ever.

You and I sit in silence. How come we haven't had a conversation yet? Maybe it just doesn't work for us. We have different emotions to them.

Anyway, I always had a favourite. You have to hear it. It suits us perfectly, I think.

How is it that I can sit in the same room as you, and still be light years away?

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I watch you. All the time, I think. You never pay any attention any more. I'd like to say I'm sorry for everything, but you never listen. You just don't have the time for me.

I guess it's called tasting your own medicine.

Okay, I've tried it. I'm better now. You've proved your point. Why won't you talk to me? Why is it that we can't communicate? We don't talk about anything any more. We don't even talk much at our tutoring meetings. We sit in silence, the only sound is that of our quills scratching on parchment.

I think I'm going crazy. I wish you'd say something. Ask me out. Shout at me for being so mean to you.

Anything is better than this. This…silence. No, it's not silence. That's not right at all, is it? It's not the silent treatment. I never gave you the silent treatment; you'd have no reason to give me it. No, I know what this is all right.

It's torture. Oh yeah, and manslaughter.

---

I'm not stalking you.

Three years have passed since we left Hogwarts. You're still dating her. I can see why; she's gorgeous. There's rumours that you're going to propose to her.

I wish you all the best, but I'm not going to the wedding. I will not have my heart ripped out and stomped on by the man I'm in love with.

They always said that unrequited love was a bitch. I now know how you felt, when I turned you down so many times. 413 times exactly. I'm sorry I put you through such misery. If we could start over, I would jump at the chance.

We may be a witch and a wizard, but unfortunately there's no legal way of travelling through time. Even though I'd love to break the rules, I'm working for the Ministry. I'm not sure they'd appreciate it if I turned against them after two years of working for them. So I'm just going to let it happen. I can't change fate, and I can't change the past. I guess I'll find some lovely guy who I love almost as much as I love you. We'll marry, and have beautiful children…but they won't be as beautiful as you. They won't look like your children…and hers. Or maybe I'll marry your best friend…yeah, I guess that would work. It would almost be like marrying you. He's so much like you. He just doesn't have your looks. It could work.

Anyway, back to you. I hear you're a bigshot auror now. She's a healer; I hope she does well. I hope she's the best, because you don't deserve anything but the best.

There's someone at the door. My boss just opened it, I can hear his surprise.

There's a voice, a masculine voice. I'd know that voice if I heard it in my sleep. In fact, I do.

“Where is she? I need to see her.”

My boss is surprised; he doesn't know who you mean. It is you. It has to be you. But why are you here? Who do you want to see?

I hear my name be mentioned, and I'm cold with shock. Why do you want me? What do you want me for?

I step forwards, out of the confinement of the door to my office. You stare at me like you've never seen me before. I know I look dreadful—my hair is dirty and my clothes are crumpled and out of fashion—; I always have since you started to ignore me. I bite my lip.

“What do you want?” I ask you softly. I'll cry if I speak any louder. I know I will.

You shrug. “I don't really know. It's just that Adelaide dumped me.”

I raise my eyebrows at this. Why are you coming to me with this information?

“Apparently I've been mumbling someone else's name in my sleep. Addy thought I was having an affair. I tried to explain that I hadn't seen the girl in three years, but she was having none of it. I was going to propose to her soon, too.”

“Poor you,” I say. “So, why are you here?”

You smile shakily. “The girl's name…it was yours.”

My breath catches in my throat. “But…why?” I manage to get out. “You don't love me anymore.”

“I've tried to tell myself that for years. I guess it didn't really work. I still love you. Maybe even more than I love…loved…Addy.”

I smile, unable to conceal my happiness. Then I remember. My smile drops. “But what about all our silences?”

“I was trying not to kiss you,” you reply. I know you're telling the truth. I laugh softly.

“Me too.”

Your eyes widen with this information. “You loved me?”

I nod. “And still do. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. I was too nervous.”

You beam, and reach out to hug me. Then you kiss me, and it's the best feeling ever. I've finally got you where I want you. I'm so ecstatic.

Then you drop down onto one knee and ask me the question I've always wanted you to say to me.

“Will you marry me?”

I say yes, of course. It's amazing how I'm going to be your wife. Not Adelaide. Little old me! Your best friend said it would always work out in the end. I'm glad Adelaide dumped you. It may be selfish, but I guess something good did come out of it.

---

The wedding…I couldn't breathe, I was so happy it came. Your best friend as best man, mine as bridesmaid. My parents are so proud and happy; they love you. They say I couldn't have chosen a better man to fall in love with.

I've just been to the hospital. I'm pregnant. Our son is going to be named after you; his father.

We're currently sitting on our sofa, you and I. I have to tell you. I place my hand on my stomach. I open my mouth to tell you about our son, but I can't get the words out.

Then I remember what my mother used to say. I smile, and look at you. Our eyes communicate perfectly. You beam, and cheer.

I didn't say a word, yet you understood me completely. It was, in fact, a rather amazing conversation.

The sound of silence is perfect.

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Now, that was originally written for Lily and James, as usual. Then I thought, `if I don't put any names in, it can be about any relationship!'

So, it can now be: L/J, An/F (that's sort-of likely), Al/G (again), L/K, Al/F (I didn't say I had to like every relationship it could mean), D/G, D/Hr, Hr/H, G/H, R/Hr (if you pretend that Ron fancied Hermione and then they fell out when she realised, it could work), and any other heterosexual relationships you want. R/LL, R/LB, H/LL, H/ParP, R/ParP, R/PadP…

I hope you like that; I know I do! Especially the fact it's in present tense…good idea, don't you think?

Ly,

J xx

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