Rating: PG
Genres: Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 19/06/2005
Last Updated: 19/06/2005
Status: Completed
Harry waits for Ron and Hermione at the Gryffindor common room one night and realizes something. One shot.
Title: Confessions and Realizations in the Common Room
Author: ray_hermy19
Rating: PG (It's actually a G, but just to be sure)
Spoilers: Books 1 - 5 (and, hopefully, Book 6)
Ships: Purely H/Hr
Summary: Harry waits for Ron and Hermione at the Gryffindor common room one night and realizes something. One shot.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything and I have no money, so don't sue me. All things Harry Potter belong to J.K. Rowling.
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I'm in major trouble, Harry Potter told himself one stormy evening while waiting for his two best friends to arrive from their rounds.
I'm in a bloody major trouble, he told his homework.
The trouble was not the fact that he hasn't planned a training session for the Gryffindor Quidditch Team in preparation for their next match (though that's still two weeks away), nor the fact that he hasn't done his homework despite the quiet of the common room that night. No, the major trouble was the reason behind those problems.
What is it? you ask.
Fatigue? No.
Stress? Not really.
Grief? Partly.
Worries? Not necessarily.
Jealousy? Er…yeah, maybe.
Harry winced at the thought. He hated to admit it, but the trouble was that he's jealous of the tall, gangly, freckly, red-haired sixth year Gryffindor male prefect, who also happens to be his best friend.
But why was he jealous?
Was it because Ron has a loving family and he hasn't? Partly.
Or because Ron was made a prefect? No.
Or because Ron doesn't have all his worries? Certainly not.
Or because Ron is out there somewhere with their bushy-haired best friend? Uh…yeah, that sounds about right.
Don't be pathetic, Harry scolded himself. They're just making their rounds as school prefects. It's not as though they're dating or anything. Harry shook himself mentally. What is it to him if Ron and Hermione were together? They're both prefects, and they're best friends, just like him and Ron, or him and Hermione. So why would he be jealous of Ron being with Hermione? Why would he abandon his homework and think about what Ron and Hermione might be doing? Why did he think of Hermione so often?
Because you love her, you daft git!
“SHUT UP!” Harry yelled, just as the portrait hole swung open and Hermione scrambled in, closely followed by Ginny and Ron. Well, at least Ginny was with them, he told himself.
“What were you yelling about, Harry?” asked Hermione in surprise.
“Nothing,” he muttered, a flush creeping up his face as she plopped down next to him, and quickly added, “How were your rounds?”
“Boring,” Ginny yawned, as she sank onto an armchair and gathered up her things from the table beside Harry's.
“Yeah, nobody's too keen to break rules tonight,” said Ron, sitting down opposite Harry and pulling his homework out from his schoolbag, as Ginny bade them good night and disappeared up the staircase to the girls' dormitories.
“Have you finished with Sprout's essay, Harry?” asked Ron.
“Er — no. I haven't even started.”
“What?” said Hermione, “how about Snape's essay? McGonagall's?
“I have started McGonagall's but I haven't finished it,” said Harry, carefully avoiding her eyes.
“I thought you'd have finished that by now,” said Hermione, looking very surprised.
“Well, the common room hasn't been empty until just now,” he lied. “Besides, I'm still planning for our match against Hufflepuff.”
“But the match's not until February!” said Hermione incredulously. “You'll have the holidays to think about that.”
Harry felt himself getting red in the face for the second time tonight. Yes, he has got the holidays to plan for that, and Hermione's not stupid enough to fall for that excuse.
“Give him a break, Hermione,” said Ron sleepily, while trying to concentrate on his homework. “Hufflepuff's a bit stronger this year. Didn't you see them demolish Slytherin last Saturday?”
“Yes, but — ”
She was interrupted by the portrait swinging open, and Colin Creevey, who was also made fifth year prefect like Ginny, scrambled in.
“Hi, Harry!” he said brightly.
“Hullo, Colin,” said Harry tonelessly.
“Hey — Ron, Hermione,” Colin said, turning to the other two, “I just met the Head Boy and he said we'll have a meeting tomorrow morning, he just forgot to tell you earlier.”
“Right, thanks for the information, Colin,” said Hermione, smiling at him.
“Well, see you then. Good night,” Colin grinned at them and trooped to the boys' staircase.
Ron gave a huge yawn and began to put his things away. “Well, I'd better turn in, too. I can't finish these tonight.” He stood up.
“Are you coming, Harry?”
“Er — no. You go ahead. I'm not sleepy yet; maybe I'll be able to finish McGonagall's essay before bed.”
“Well, I'll see you tomorrow, 'night.” He swung his bag over his shoulder and followed Colin to the staircase.
“ 'Night,” said Harry and Hermione.
Harry tried to write down something and he kept checking his notes for facts but the presence of Hermione next to him was very distracting. She had taken out her wool and knitting needles, waved her wand, and the needles went into action, tinkling softly. Then he felt her staring at him and his feeling of unease doubled.
“Harry?” said Hermione softly.
“Mmm?” Harry answered, still trying to pretend that he's reading his notes.
“Is there something wrong?”
“Nothing, why?” he lied, still not looking up.
To his surprise, Hermione seized his notes and tossed them aside. He looked up at her, looking surprised.
“Don't lie to me, Harry.”
“I told you, nothing's wrong,” Harry repeated stubbornly.
“Oh come on, Harry. You were staring at the same spot on that page for five minutes, and if you haven't noticed, the essay you're trying to finish is for Transfiguration, but you're poring over your Potions notes!”
“Am I?” Harry said, disbelieving, and seized the notes he'd been pretending to read. It was indeed his notes in Potions, and he could again feel his face burning.
“Tell me, what is it?” Hermione implored, looking at him concernedly.
“I — can't … I don't — ” he stammered. “I don't know how to begin, I — I don't know what to say.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Hermione asked quietly. “If you don't want to, I will not force you, but perhaps it would be better if you talk about it, you know.”
“I don't — yeah…maybe you're right,” Harry sighed.
“So, what is it?”
“I dunno — it's just…I've been feeling left out lately. I mean, you and Ron have prefect duties and I can't spend more time with you like we did before. I really don't understand why I've been feeling this way lately.”
Hermione's breath came out sounding as though it had been stuck in her throat.
“What do you mean?”
Harry hesitated. What he would say next could very well spell the end of their friendship. He didn't want to tell her, but he had to. But then he also didn't know how to say it. How do you tell your best friend that you've fallen in love with her?
“Harry?”
He took a deep breath. This is it. It's now or never.
“I mean, I was kind of jealous of Ron lately,” he said, not looking at her.
“Jealous? Of Ron?”
Harry chanced a glance at her and saw that she looked astonished.
“Why?”
“Well, it's like what I said, you're together most of the time, while I'm left alone here or in the library, waiting for you to return.”
“But Harry — it's just normal, right? We're prefects, and we have to do our duties — ”
“I know,” said Harry, still looking anywhere but her. “It's just that — I wanted to be with you too.”
“I know you miss us, but — ”
“No, not the two of you, Hermione,” he said, and looked her in the eye. “Just you.”
“Me?” Hermione said, and her voice was suddenly full of something that made Harry's Gryffindor courage falter. “You — you wanted to be with me?”
“Yeah,” Harry admitted, and looked at his knees. “I know I shouldn't be feeling like this but — hell, I can't help it. I'm afraid to admit it because it might ruin our friendship, and I'm also scared of what Voldemort might do to you if he ever — if he found out…. But I can't keep it to myself either, I just don't know how to say it….”
“Say what, Harry?” Hermione said, her voice full of anticipation, or did he just imagine it?
“ThatI'vefalleninlovewithyou,” Harry mumbled, not meeting her eye.
“Sorry?”
“That I — I — ” he started, but couldn't get the words out.
“That you…?”
“That I've — I've fallen in love with you,” Harry finished in one breath, fully aware that he'd just probably ended their friendship.
“You've — you've fallen in love with me?” Hermione repeated, sounding as though she thought her ears were deceiving her. Harry's heart sank. Now you've done it, he thought bitterly. She's going to hate you for the rest of your lives.
“Yes,” he said, getting to his feet and pacing up and down. “Well, I don't expect you to love me back, because I know you don't like me like that. I have just probably destroyed our friendship by telling you this, but if you want to hit me, you can do it…. If you don't want to see my face again, I won't blame you, because I'd deserve it — ”
“Harry — ”
“ — I know I shouldn't have done it, I should've stopped myself but I can't help it, I just can't. It's okay if you want to end our friendship, I won't stop you — ”
“Harry, listen — ”
“ — if you want Ron to beat me up, I won't stop him, because I was just stupid, and I'd deserve your anger. I'd leave Hogwarts if you want — ”
“HARRY POTTER, WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME!”
Harry stopped his babbling to see Hermione on her feet too, her hands on his shoulders.
“Can you say it again?” she asked, her eyes shining with tears and her voice cracked with emotion.
“W - what?”
“Can you say it again?” she repeated.
“Say what again?” Harry asked, not sure of what's happening.
“What you said before you started babbling,” Hermione said, and Harry was astonished to see that she didn't look angry, but looked on the verge of tears and smiling at the same time. He felt a surge of hope, and he gently removed her hands from his shoulders and held them in his, marveling at how soft and small they were. He brought them to his lips, and gazed into her brown eyes, which were glistening with tears.
“I love you, Hermione Jane Granger,” he said clearly.
Hermione burst into tears and threw herself onto him.
“And I love you too, Harry James Potter!”
Harry couldn't believe his ears. Hermione, in love with him? A great wave of emotion washed over him and he hugged her back, tears starting to form in his eyes as well. How could he be so stupid as to wait this long? Hermione was always there for him, and now it was clear to him that he'd always loved her, but he hadn't realized it until now, and all this time she had loved him too.
He disengaged himself from her and looked into her chocolate orbs, which were shining with tears, and he couldn't help but notice how beautiful they were. He ran his fingers across her soft cheeks and wiped away the traces of tears on her face. Then he lifted her chin gently, and as he tilted his head, Hermione closed her eyes and met his lips in a passionate kiss.
Harry was sure that time stopped when he felt Hermione's lips touch his. Everything ceased to exist, and all that was left in the world was he and Hermione. He couldn't feel anything else except her soft lips against his, the sweet scent of her hair, and the feel of her body so close to his. He slid the hand holding her chin towards the back of her head where they became lost in her soft brown curls, and the other one slid onto her back as he kissed her more deeply. Hermione moaned and her mouth opened to him; he slipped his tongue inside, meeting hers, and causing the both of them to groan in pleasure. He pulled her closer, and feeling her hand on the back of his head, and the other on his arm, he plunged deeper into her mouth. The taste of Hermione seemed to cloud his brain; Harry didn't know she tasted this good, and he couldn't think clearly. The sweet taste of her mouth and her fragrant breath were all he was aware of. They deepened the kiss, and quite suddenly they found themselves lying on the couch near the fire, still coupled together by their lips. Harry slid his mouth from hers to her cheek, trailing little kisses across her face, neck and ears. He lightly nipped her ear, and then returned to her lips. Again, they kissed deeply, and, realizing that he ought to stop before they forget themselves, Harry reluctantly pulled away from her. Hermione was breathless, and her lips were slightly swollen, but her eyes were twinkling and a broad smile spread across her face.
“We should've done that ages ago,” she said, snuggling closer to him.
“Yeah,” Harry said, putting his arms around her and pulling her closer to him, facing the fire.
“What took you so long, Harry?” she asked, and put her head on his chest. “I've been waiting for you to say that for ages.”
Harry kissed her hair and took her hand in his. “I dunno. Maybe I was just scared to admit it, and I was afraid that Voldemort might use you to get to me. I was also scared that our friendship might be ruined, because I thought that you didn't love me.”
Hermione laughed and looked up at him.
“I didn't love you? Whatever gave you that idea? After all these years that we've been together, you haven't realized my feelings for you?”
“I — no. Do you mean to say, you've loved me for ages?”
“Yes, Harry. I guess you were just too stupid and daft to notice that,” she said, and sat up straighter. “How long have you loved me, anyway?”
Harry planted a soft kiss on her lips before answering.
“I dunno, for ages, I think. I've just realized it lately when you and Ron were always together.”
Hermione laughed and kissed him softly. He responded and they kissed passionately for a few minutes before settling down again. They sat in silence, watching the fire burn itself out slowly.
“Harry?”
“Yes, love?”
Hermione giggled, evidently enjoying his term of endearment for her.
“Thanks for being my first kiss.”
“You're not telling me Viktor passed up the opportunity back in fourth year?”
Hermione slapped him on the arm.
“Ouch! Okay, sorry. I was only joking,” he said, and pulled her up to face him.
“So how was your first kiss?”
Hermione smiled and kissed him hard on the lips, surprising him.
“To say it was fantastic would be an understatement,” she said, pulling him for another kiss. “You weren't really bad at kissing. Cho was such an idiot to let you go.”
“Well, I'd say she realized that I should be with you sooner than I did.”
“I'm glad she did.”
“But I still honestly wished that my first kiss was with you, Hermione, I — ”
“Shh — ” she pressed a finger on his lips. “I don't want to hear about it, Harry. What's
important is the present. Forget the past, okay?”
“Okay. Just don't forget that I love you, Hermione. I always have and I will for the rest of my life.”
Hermione smiled and pulled him into a hug, tears starting to form in her eyes again.
“I won't. And don't forget that I love you too, Harry. I always have and I will, now and forever.”
Harry was overcome with emotion and he hugged her back. He couldn't help but smile, and he thought, I shouldn't be jealous of Ron; Ron should be jealous of me! And as Harry kissed Hermione, he tossed away all thoughts and doubts. Hermione was right (as always). What's important was the present, and he knew that they would be together no matter what, because he loved her and she loved him, and that would be the foundation of their relationship: love. Not jealousy, not suspicion, not fear nor anger, but love. And that power was what Harry needed most for him to fulfill his destiny. With Hermione beside him, Voldemort wouldn't stand a chance.
-=-= The End =-=-
A/N: There. I hope you like it. It's been sitting on my desk since last year, and I thought I won't be able to post it until HBP was released, but I was happy I did. For those who're waiting for an update on my story Two Dumb Aurors, I'm sorry but I can't update right now, because I'm still very busy, as I'm now on my last year at university, and I'm sure most of you understand what it's like. I'm in the middle of Chapter 10 when I stopped writing, but I promise you that as soon as I can squeeze it into my schedule, I'll make an update. I just wanted to put this one out of my worries so I sacrificed my Sunday (It's already Sunday here in the Philippines) just to refine it, type it and upload it. So don't forget to review! Thanks very much in advance and Happy Father's Day to all fathers.
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