What You Mean To Me

Skitty

Rating: R
Genres: Drama, Romance
Relationships: Lily & James
Book: Lily & James, Books 1 - 5
Published: 21/06/2005
Last Updated: 08/07/2005
Status: in_progress

all about Lily and the Marauders in their sixth and seventh years. full summary in the story

Chapters

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1. untitled

What You Mean To Me- L/J

Lily Evans- 16 years old, red hair, emerald eyes, prefect, Head Girl in Seventh Year, she has liked James since the end of their fourth year, she has been in love with him since Fifth Year, Remus is one of her best friends, they have been friends since First Year

James Potter- 17 years old, messy black hair, brown eyes close to hazel in color, Head Boy in Seventh Year, never paid much attention to Lily, he started to develop a crush on her at the end of Fifth Year, has been friends with Remus and Sirius since First Year, Peter since Second Year, animagus form is a sliver-white stag (Prongs)

Remus Lupin- 16 years old, black hair, blue eyes, prefect, one of Lily’s best friends, one of the Marauders, dating Lily and his other best friend, Kalie, trying to get Lily to tell James aobut her feelings, know how Lily and James feel about each other, a werewolf (Moony)

Sirius Black- 17 years old, black hair, brown eyes, James’ best friend, dating Liliana Sanders, a Hufflepuff, Remus and him push Lily and James to admit their feelings for each other, comes from a pure blood family, he was blasted off the family tree when he was sixteen after he ran away from home and bunked at James’ house, his animagus form is a big black dog (Padfoot)

Peter Pettigrew- 17 years old, blonde hair, brown eyes, animagus form is a rat (Wormtail), doesn’t play a big role, a quiet “mousy” (no pun intended) boy

Kalie Samson- 16 years old, blonde hair, blue eyes, Lily and Remus’ best friend, they met on the train the first time in First Year, she and Remus started dating at the beginning of Sixth Year, friends with all of the Marauders, knows about Remus’ “condition”

Liliana Sanders- 15 years old, brown hair, brown eyes, Hufflepuff, prefect, becomes friends with Lily and the Marauders through Kalie, likes Sirius, Sirius likes her, they start to date in April, Kalie, her, and Lily become very close friends, they help with her feelings for Sirius, she helps Lily get James

Summary: Lily Evans is a Gryffindor prefect in her Sixth Year. James Potter is also in Sixth Year and one of the most troublesome boys in school. Lily likes James. James likes Lily. They have the same friends. Sirius and Remus arrange a meeting so they will meet and admit their feelings. they go through trouble and happiness together. The Marauders, Kalie, and Liliana are there to help. Set in their Sixth and Seventh Year.

Disclaimer: I will not repeat this in every chapter. So listen up. I do not own Lily, James, Remus, Sirius, Peter, or anyone else mentioned that is mentioned in the Harry Potter books. I do own Kalie and Liliana. I do not own the name Liliana. That name was from the wonderful minds who made the movie Snow White: A Tale of Terror.

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Chapter One

There he was. The most wonderful person in the world. And she loved him. The only problem was he barely even knew she existed. To him, she was the nerdy girl that everyone called a know-it-all. But she knew who he was. He was perfect, he was a god. The star seeker on their Quidditch team, one of the biggest pranksters in the school, one of the most popular kids in school, and an annoying pain in the arse. But still she loved him. She still, to this day, didn't know why she did, but she did. He would NEVER dream of dating someone like her. He was a Pureblood, and she was a measly Muggle-born. Their kind never mixed. If you ever asked her to describe herself, it wouldn't be pretty. To herself, she was a scrawny, ugly girl of sixteen. Her hair was limp and stringy. She was to skinny, where other girls had some kind of meat on their bones, she barely had any. Her chest was too small, her hips to wide. She never found clothes that looked good on her. She was very disproportionate and ugly. If asked what her favorite feature of her body was, she would have to say her eyes. But him, he was perfect. There was nothing wrong with him, and all the girls in school knew it.

"Hey, lovebird. Snap out of it." A hand waved in front of her face and Lily Evans snapped out of her trance. She looked over at the person who snapped her out of staring at him. Kalie Samson was her best friend of six, almost seven, years.

"What? Why do you always have to do that, Kalie?" Lily snarled at one of her best friends.

"Sorry, but I thought you might want to pay attention to Professor Binns, since Remus and I are probably going to need your help with whatever assignment he gives."

"Sorry. I didn't mean to snap. You're right." Lily turned towards the front of the classroom and tried to listen to Professor Binns and not keep her attention on the guy that had her entranced since their first year.

Halfway through the class, Lily gave up on notes. She could always get them from her other best friend, Remus Lupin. She just started to daze out and daydream. Before she knew it, Kalie was shaking her.

"Huh?"

Kalie snorted. "So much for paying attention. Class is over, Lils."

"Oh. Hey, I tried to pay attention. Eh. I'll just get the notes from Remus."

"Oh, no you won't. Unless you actually want to come in contact with him."

"Shit. That's right. Remus is going to be with the others tonight. Dammit."

"I'll get them from Remus. All right, Lil?"

"All right. Thanks, Kalie." Lily and Kalie walked out of History of Magic and headed to the Great Hall for lunch. Unbeknownst to Lily, as they walked out of the room, Lily was being watched.

~*~*~*~

All through class, he felt her watching him. If only he had the courage to actually talk to her. He knew she liked him, thanks to Remus, but she didn't know he liked her back. Remus always kept him clued in on what she said about him. He loved her so much, but was to chicken to actually admit it to anyone but Remus. Some Gryffindor courage he had. He was suppose to be so brave but he was to afraid to tell the girl of his dreams that he loved her. He knew that she thought he was a god, her along with every other girl in the school. He knew that she thought she was ugly. He thought she was the most beautiful girl to ever walk the earth. He knew she thought that he would never want to date her, since she was Muggle-born. And lastly, he knew she thought he didn't even know she existed. But he knew she existed, very knew.

James Potter was sitting in the Great Hall with his three best friends, and she was only a table down. He watched as she leaned over and said something to her friend. Her friend nodded her head and stood up. She walked over and leaned down next to Remus.

"Hey. Lil wants to know if she can borrow your notes from History of Magic. She started dazing off."

Remus looked at her. "Why didn't she ask me, Kalie?"

Kalie gave Remus a duh look. "Remus, you know why!" He saw her eyes flick in his direction. James quickly bent down and pretended to be interested in his food.

"Oh! Duh!" Remus got his notes out and gave them to Kalie. Her hand lingered on his as she took them.

"Thanks, Rem." She kissed him lightly on the cheek. She whispered something in his ear that made him laugh. "Oh, by the way," Kalie looked at James, "Lil says hi." She walked off laughing.

James' head had snapped up at that comment. "Did she really say that, Moony?"

Remus looked at him. "Sorry, Prongs, but I doubt that."

"I was just wondering," he quickly replied, for Sirius was looking at him weird. "Like I would care." He shot Remus a look saying he needed to talk to him later.

Everyone continued to eat and James listened to Sirius and Remus plan for the next full moon. Every now and then, he glanced over at Lily only to see her looking back at him. It seemed, to him, that she had a look of longing in her eyes.

After lunch, they had Defense Against the Dark Arts and Potions. For the rest of the afternoon, James didn't pay attention in one class. Near the end of Potions, James made a decision. He was going to talk to Lily. If he ever wanted to be with her, then he needed to start out with becoming friends with her. But how he didn't know. He might have to recruit Remus for that job. He knew he would eventually have to tell Sirius everything, but he figured he would wait. But as he was thinking that, he realized that Sirius might be able to help him, too. He wrote Sirius a short note, since he sat right next to him in Potions. Padfoot, I need to talk to you later, -Prongs.

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Chapter Two

Lily sat in one of the extremely comfortable chairs in the Gryffindor common room reading her favorite book in all of the Hogwarts library, Hogwarts: A History. She absent-mindedly was twirling a strand of her hair between her fingers. She never even noticed that someone had walked up next to her. She jumped and almost screamed when she heard the person speak.

"Is that all you ever do besides study, Evans?"

Lily looked behind her to see none other than the person that her thoughts had been on, James Potter. "Why do you care, Potter? Shouldn't you be with the others causing mayhem?"

James sat down in the chair next to Lily. "Yeah, but I decided that Sirius could make up for me missing."

"Who are you looking for?"

James turned and faced her. Seeing her illuminated by the firelight took his breath away. "Actually, I was looking for you, Lily."

Lily's breath caught in her throat. "Why? And since when are we on first name basis, James?"

"Since I want to be your friend. I always hear Mo-Remus talk about you and how wonderful you are, and I finally decided that I would like to be your friend. I have wanted to for quite a while but I was to afraid you would only think of me as a miscreant or a joker. I am very serious here, Lily. I want to be your friend." James laughed, "the way Remus talks about you, you would swear he were in love with you."

"No, that's Kalie." Lily realized what she said and her hand flew to cover her mouth. "Please don't let anyone know that I just told you that. Rem would kill me. I wasn't suppose to tell anyone."

"Only if you give me and you as friends a chance."

"I guess I will. I would like that, James. I know that you are actually a really nice guy who cares alot about his friends. Promise that you won't tell anyone that I accidentally told you that. Please?"

"I won't don't worry. Thank you."

Lily looked at him, questionally. "For what? I haven't done anything, James."

James reached over and lightly squeezed the top of her hand that was gripped onto the book. "For giving me a chance." He stood up, kissed the top of her head, and left to go find Sirius.

Lily watched James walk out. Throughout the whole exchange, her heart had been pounding furiously and her stomach had been doing flip-flops. She couldn't believe that he had been that close to her, let alone squeeze her hand and kiss her head. "Well, that was weird," she murmured to herself.

"Not for James, Lil." Kalie walked into the common room in time to see James exit and what Lily had said.

"Hey, Kalie." Lily had a grin plastered to her face when Kalie sat down.

"What did he want? Lil, please don't have a heartattack just because he was that close to you."

"You don't even know, Kal. He wants to be my friend. James Potter wants to be MY friend." Lily felt as if she were on a cloud. She was so happy and felt like she was floating.

"Hey, Lil. Can I ask your advice on something?"

"Sure, Kalie. What on?"

Kalie bit her lip. "A boy."

Lily perked up. It had been awhile since Kalie had even looked at any other guy besides Remus. Her boyfriend of two, almost three, years had broken up with her at the end of last year. "Spill."

"Promise you won't tell the person?"

"I promise, Kal. Now spill it or so help me I will hex you into oblivion."

"Ok. There is this guy that I really like, but the problem is that he only sees me as a friend. He is really sweet, kind, funny, and very smart. I have been trying to drop hints to him, but he doesn't get it. I have tried so hard. Oh, Lil, I just don't know what to do." While Kalie had been saying all of this to Lily, all four of the Marauders had walked into the Common Room, and sat at the table directly behind Kalie, so she didn't even know they were there. When they sat down, James flashed Lily a smile that melted her heart. She smiled back. Kalie had continued talking. "..but what I am really worried about is what he'll say. I don't want to lose his friendship. He is a wonderful person and friend."

"Who is it, Kalie? Who is the person that has you feeling this way?"

Kalie bit her lip. "Promise you won't be mad."

Kalie's comment made Lily's heart sink. Please, God, don't let it be James. Lily put on a smile. "I promise, Kal. Tell me who it is."

"It-it's..." Kalie muttered something under her breath that Lily didn't catch.

"What was that?"

Kalie sighed. "I said that it's Remus, okay? I am in love with Remus Lupin. God, Lil. What am I going to do? He is one of my very best friends, and I had to be stupid and fall in love with him." Behind Kalie's back, Remus had a weird look on his face. He had heard what Kalie said, and he had a really goofy grin on his face. James was silently shaking his head. Lily had to stop herself from laughing. "God, Lils. What am I going to do? How am I going to tell him that I have fallen in love with him?"

"Well, I can tell you one thing, Kal. You won't have to tell him."

"Why not?" Kalie looked at Lily puzzled.

"Um, look behind you Kal."

Kalie turned around and her face paled. "Remus," she whispered. She turned and looked at Lily. "How long have they been there?"

Lily looked guilty. "Since you said you had been dropping hints. Kal, I'm sorry I didn't let you know."

Kalie flashed Lily an angry and betrayed look. She looked once more at Remus, stood up and ran out of the Common Room, via the portrait hole.

Lily lowered her head to her hands and started to cry. She heard someone running after Kalie. She figured it had to be Remus. Then, she felt someone sink onto the arm of the chair and pull her towards them. Through her tears she looked up and saw that it was James. He pulled her into his arms and let her cry into his chest. James lifted her up and slid into the chair with her on his lap. She smiled at him, grateful that he was there. Lily threw her arms around James' neck and buried her head in the crook of his neck. As she sobbed into his shoulder, he ran his hand on her back for comfort.

"Oh, James. What am I going to do? My best friend probably hates me now," Lily sobbed.

"It will be okay, Lil. Don't worry. Moony went after her. He'll straighten it out. And even if she won't talk to you for a little bit, you'll still have me and Moony. Okay?"

Lily looked up at him and smiled. "Yeah. Thank you, James. Any one else would have left me here crying or would have ignored me all together. You are really sweet. You were being sincere earlier, weren't you? About being my friend?"

"Of course I was. I want us to be friends, instead of the running enemies we have been for the past five years. And so you know now, Lil, I care about you. That's why I made sure you would be okay. Now, are you alright?" James looked Lily in the eyes. Her gorgeous emerald eyes that made him melt whenever she looked at him.

Lily nodded, with tears still in her eyes. "Yeah. I'll be okay. Thank you, James."

James smiled. "It's no problem." James hugged her close, but didn't let her go. They stayed the way they were and talked waiting for Remus to come back.

~*~*~*~

Once Kalie got out of the portrait hole, she ran full speed out of the castle and across the grounds. She could here Remus behind her calling her name, but she didn't stop. Finally, she ran out of breath and collapsed on the ground bawling her eyes out. Remus skidded to a stop next to her and gathered her in his arms. She pressed her face to his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist.

Remus gently rocked her and shushed her. He gently ran his hand up and down her back. When she finally stopped crying, Remus gave her a small hug. She looked up at him with tear filled eyes, and lightly smiled.

"Oh, Remus. I feel like such an idiot. I made a total fool of myself in front of everyone. I am so sorry."

Remus looked at her and gently wiped away her tears. "Don't be. You have nothing to be sorry for. Kalie, I am glad I heard you telling Lily how you feel."

"Why? I embarassed myself. God, I am so stupid." Kalie stood up and started walking off. Remus chased after her. He grabbed her arms and pulled her around to face him. He gently cupped her face, and all she saw in his eyes was love. He gently leaned down and kissed her. The moment their lips touched all Remus felt was sparks.

"Kalie Ann Samson, I love you."

"No, you don't. You're only saying that to make me feel better." She once again started walking off.

"Kalie! Are seriously that blind? I'm not lying. I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it. Kalie!" Remus grabbed her hand and spun her around.

"Leave me alone, Remus." Kalie glared daggers at him and stormed back to the castle.

Remus watched her walk off and felt his heart breaking. He slowly made his way back to the castle and Gryffindor Tower. He couldn't believe she did that. He finally had gotten the nerve up to tell her his feelings and she called him a liar. The whole way up to the tower, he was thinking. When he walked into the tower, it apparently showed on his face that something was wrong. He walked over and sat in the other chair and stared into the fire. He barely saw Lily and James sitting in the chair together.

~*~*~*~

James and Lily watched Remus sitting by the fire. Lily noticed the tears slowly trickle from the corner of his eyes. She leaned over and whispered in James' ear.

"James, maybe you should talk to him. He's upset about something."

"No. Maybe you should talk to him, Lil, and I should go find Kalie."

"Yeah. The North Tower."

"What?"

Lily sighed. "She will more than likely be up in the North Tower or in the Astronomy Tower. It's where she goes to think."

James smiled at her. "Alright. Find out what's wrong with ol' Moony and I'll go find Kalie." Lily nodded and got up from James' lap. He caught her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. She smiled at him. James stood up and kissed Lily on the cheek. "I'll be back later."

"Alright, but be careful. A pissed off or upset Kalie is a very scary thing." James turned and walked out of the common room to find Kalie. Lily pulled a chair over and sat down next to Remus. She lightly squeezed his arm. "Hey, Rem. What happened?"

Remus looked at Lily with tears in his eyes. Lily threw her arms around her friend and hugged him. Remus lightly hugged her back. "Lily, it's awful. I told Kalie how I feel. I told her I was glad I had heard what she told you. And- and I kissed her."

Lily squealed in delight. "That's not awful, Remus. That's wonderful. What did she say?"

"That's the awful part, Lils. She called me a liar. She said I was only saying that to make her feel better. You know how I am, Lily. I won't tell anyone that unless it's true. She knows that. When I tried to stop her from going inside, she got really pissy with me. She told me to leave her alone. When I watched her walk into the castle, I literally felt my heart break. I love her so much, Lil, but she won't believe me." Remus put his head in his hands and started to cry. Lily knelt down in front of him and gathered him in her arms.

"It's going to be alright. I'll talk some sense in her, if she doesn't hate me that is. James went to find her and find out what's going on. He might be able to talk some sense into her. It'll be alright."