peace

OneHotMuggle

Rating: PG13
Genres: Angst
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 09/07/2005
Last Updated: 09/07/2005
Status: completed

setting: harry and hermione are sitting by the lake, coming to terms with a loss... (rated for swearing)

Chapters

1. peace

1. peace

“Why is everyone I care about dying?”

“What, Harry, I don’t understand-“

“WHY IS EVERYONE I FUCKING CARE ABOUT DYING?! IT ISN’T FAIR!”

“Harry, i-“

She’s falling apart. Crying. She needs him desperately. She needs him to hold her and tell her it’ll be alright. She’s sure he needs it too.

“ANSWER ME!!”

He can’t believe how loudly he’s screaming at her. He loves her. Why is he acting like this?

“It’s okay to cry, Harry”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“I know. But you can cry.”

“I swore to myself I wouldn’t. That nothing would ever be as bad as Sirius…I promised I’d never cry again”

She isn’t sure when her arms wrapped around him, but somehow they’re encircling his chest. Her head is resting on the shoulder toned from years of quidditch.

“Why are you holding on to me?”

“Because we both need it”

He can feel her lifting up. Leaving him. Just like everyone else. She is that one person who he can’t imagine going on without.

“Where are you going? Stay”

“Like this?”

“mmhmm…Hermione—“

His cry is strangled, his voice husky. She isn’t sure if words are right.

“Hermione, don’t die.”

“I’m not planning Harry, but, I suppose neither was Ron.”

“No, he knew. He knew what was going to happen…Don’t leave me. Don’t DIE. Ever!!!! PLEASE. PROMISE ME!”

“Harry, I love you dear, but I can’t promise you that. It’s you who needs to stay alive, not me.”

But it IS her who needs to stay alive. She needs to be here with him. Forever…wait, love?

“No, I need you”

“You have to save the world. I’m the hero’s best friend. You are the important part of the equation”

“No! Hermione—you don’t—I don’t—you—you can’t—“

“I can’t what?”

She’s moved around to face him. She’s kneeling on the ground staring at her hero’s eyes. She’s sure she almost sees saline.

“You’re ten times more important to me than I am to this entire world. Let it all go to hell if you aren’t in it”

“Harry—“

“No, Hermione, it’s the truest thing I’ve ever said in my life. You are the world. I love you”

“Well I love you too of course. You’re my best friend”

She’s kissing his cheek, and she can taste the saline. She pulls away for a moment, and his breathing becomes ragged.

There seems nothing chaste or friendly about the kiss now.

His head dips down so he can look at her eyes, but she tries to turn her head

“Hermione…what’s wrong Hermione?”

“Nothing”

But suddenly she’s sobbing. How has he not seen the wet tear trails down her cheeks until this moment? He wants to kill himself for the way she’s shaking.

“Shh…shh…what is this about?”

“You”

“What? Are you crying about me?”

“Of course not. For you.”

“Maybe you should go to bed and rest…it’s been a long day”

“No…”

She’s snuggling in, and tasting the scent of him. Cool Irish soap and sweat and earth. She burrows in deeper, and can feel the thump of his heart. It’s beating.

“I won’t be able to sleep, Harry.”

“I’m sorry, it’s all my fault”

“No, you’re fixing it”

The anticipated kiss doesn’t happen. Tonight is not the night. They are together, and they love each other, and it’s enough.

They’re pulling the blankets in tighter, and watching the embers die. Tomorrow is they’re best friend’s funeral, but for tonight, at least, they’ve both found peace.