Of Strippers And Misunderstandings

Stietoe

Rating: NC17
Genres: Angst, Humor
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 09/07/2005
Last Updated: 12/09/2005
Status: paused

So much of the mystery has already been spoiled with the hints in the title... So without further ado: ENJOY! Based on a challenge (see inside)

Chapters

1. Of Strippers...

2. And Misunderstandings...

1. Of Strippers...

Of Strippers and Misunderstandings (Disclaimer at the end)

Jane flicked her sleek red hair back. That miserable hag of a librarian just had to do that, didn’t she?! Oh, sometimes she wished she could pull out her wand and just hex the Muggle into a toad… And with no chance of any prince charming kissing her back to her version of humanity…

Hermione Granger had graduated from Hogwarts with the highest marks of her class, but had no idea what to do with herself after that… Before she had known about the wizarding world, she had always wanted to study Medicine, to help people, but that was Muggle work… In the wizarding world, she had tried to find study in legal business, only to find that there wasn’t any real training for lawyers, judges, or anything remotely like that… Judges positions were still basically handed out to wizards or witches of certain families, or acquired by years of hard work at the Minister of Magic’s mercy…

Yeah well, Voldemort may have been vanquished, that didn’t mean the Ministry had just let go of all the prejudice and modernised overnight… And if Hermione wanted to change that, she was going to have to do it the long way, since despite being Harry Potter’s best friend, that didn’t change the fact that she was a Muggleborn… Anyway, a witch’s life could get long enough, so she figured she’d get some experience before she started her crusades against bigotry… And she would prove her worth! Muggleborn or not.

Hermione had managed to snatch a small job at the Ministry: she was just an assistant in the Archives Department of the Ministry. Everyone in the wizarding world thought that that was the only thing she was doing… But the workload, for her, was barely heavy, and she thought about doing something worthwhile in the meantime… Since there wasn’t any course to follow on wizarding law, she used her job’s resources to learn on her own… But that wasn’t enough… Sure, SPEW had a great goal, but accomplishing that goal needed more then determination alone. She needed to learn how to teach people about new views, she needed to understand the reasons behind bigotry better, before she could fight it.

But there wasn’t any training for that in the wizarding world… So, to the great delight of her parents, she wished to attend Muggle higher education. Of course, with Hermione, nothing was ever just that simple. First, she had to catch up on the Muggle schooling, and get an equivalent of a high school diploma, before she could think about enrolling. She could have taken the easy way, and go by the Ministry to make the process simpler. And then she could have benefited from her parents’ influence to get her into one of the finest universities of Great-Britain…

But Hermione Granger wanted to prove herself, and she wasn’t a brilliant witch if she was going to take the easy way… And this was how Jane McGregor came into existence…

Jane was a Muggle who’d had mysterious familial problems, which prevented her to get her high school diploma. Learning on her own, though, she had gotten the equivalent of such a diploma at 19. The girl enrolled in London University as a free student, which meant she had the choice of which courses to take or not. Social History and Economics, Psychology, Society Studies, Sociology, Social Work Ethics, Antropology and Philosophy held her interests for now.

It hadn’t been that hard to create a Muggle identity for herself: a simple camouflage potion did the trick. Her facial features were slightly different; her hair was sleek and dark red, and her eyes dark green. It was amazing, how little change could cause such a different appearance. Her parents were the only ones who knew she was leading ‘the double life’ for two years now, but they were proud of their daughter accomplishing this on her own…

Ron and Harry were too busy building up their own lives to notice Hermione had a lot of time unaccounted for. Ron was working as a member on the reserve team of Chudley Cannons, and his free time was consecrated to Luna mostly. Harry had just finished Auror training a year ago, but being the ‘newbie’ he was still very busy… This didn’t mean they hadn’t any contact with each other anymore: the weekly Weasley lunch at the Burrow had become a sacred event. Molly organised those every Saturday, and every Weasley who lived in close enough range of the Burrow had to attend. Of course that included Harry and her… And they occasionally met up a Friday night, just three of them…

This weekend Hermione was going to have to juggle her agenda to be able to attend since ‘Jane’ was quite busy… But this wasn’t the reason she was out of sorts right now… No, it was because of the campus librarian being a total airhead who knew no more of books then Hermione about getting facials… It was nearing the time for exams, and Hermione had asked to set some books aside for her, but apparently, the ditzy blond had forgotten to write that down…

She was on her way back to the dorms, where she was staying over for the weekend with a study buddy of hers, Ramana Jones. If she was lucky, Ramana had the books she needed, and they could study together most of the weekend… Planning ahead Hermione didn’t pay attention when she knocked on the door of her friend’s room. If she had, she would’ve heard the shuffling around on the other side.

Suddenly the door opened with a bang and a loud chorus of ‘SURPRISE!’s nearly made Hermione jump out of her skin. She had almost whipped out her wand, but she refrained from doing so just in time. All the Muggles she had come to known a little better over the two years she had been a student, were there. Ramana, of course, and her best friend Lydia. Georgia and Paula were there too, and the only boy in this little groups of friends, Jude, who had recently admitted he was gay, but he didn’t want anyone outside their group to know yet. They were all rather shy and studious ones, who were known in their class as the ‘front row people’.

Hermione smiled at the get-together of her Muggle friends, but couldn’t for the life of her understand why they were all there. That was until she saw the banner with ‘Happy Birthday!’ hanging from the ceiling. Confused at first, she remembered ‘Jane’s birthday was May the 20th. Well, she may have been 21 for several months now, an extra party before the exams jitters settled in, never hurt anyone. Smiling broadly at the picture Harry and Ron would make if they’d heard that thought, she walked inside. The exams could wait for one night… Get this party started!

~*~*~

It was nearing 10 pm, and they had consummated a bit of alcohol, not much, but for people unaccustomed to it, it was quite an amount… It certainly seemed to have loosened the inhibitions of her otherwise quiet friends… The giggling and shouts had gotten a bit loud at one point, and fellow dorm mates had banged on the door to ‘pipe it down’… Georgia stood up suddenly and swayed a bit:

“People! It’s almost ten!” at this statement the girls burst out in a fit of giggles, and Jude coloured very red… Hermione frowned, not knowing what would happen next…

Ramana got up as well, and tugged Jane’s arm to stand up also.

“Come on, Jane! It’s time for your birthday gift!”

‘Jane’ was confused: “But I thought this party was my gift? You guys didn’t need to get me anything more…”

Paula giggled: “Trust me, we’ll enjoy this present too…”

Which earned her an elbow in the stomach from Georgia.

They had all stood now, and were dragging Jane through the door: “We have to get out to get my present? Is it that big?”

Jude murmured something like: “We can only hope,” confusing Jane even more…

They were on their way downstairs, when Lydia suddenly froze and looked extremely nervous: “I don’t know if I can get through with this… Oh, God, I’m so nervous…”

The other girls seemed a bit apprehensive at that too, and Jane demanded:

“Ok, what’s the big secrecy? You haven’t gotten me anything illegal, have you?”

Ramana was quick to reply: “No! … At least I think it’s not illegal…”

Jude said: “No, it’s not illegal, we’re all of age, so it’s not illegal!”

Jane frowned: “Why don’t you tell me what it is, before we go on…”

Before anyone could say anything, Paula had blurted out: “We got you a stripper!”

Well, of all things Jane had expected, this was not on the list…

“Where the bloody hell did you get hold of a stripper!”

Ok, that wasn’t the most important question she had to ask, but it was the only thing she could think of…

Georgia answered: “Well, Jude’s mum…”

Jane held up her hand: “Ok, forget I asked… But you! I would’ve never expected something like this from you guys…”

Lydia seemed ready to cry when she said: “I told you she would disapprove! Oh, I’m sorry, Jane, but we knew you work outside of school, and we thought you’d like some distraction from all the stress… And then we had this crazy idea… We never meant to offend you…”

Jane reassured the girl: “Lydia, I’m not offended in the least,” smiling at the nervous girl, she added, “I was just surprised that you of all people would have the guts to arrange something like this! So, what are we waiting here for! Where’s that piece of hunk!”

The girls seemed to lose a bit of their nervousness, and Jude smiled at her gratefully for reassuring the girls. ‘Jane’ on her side was a little nervous herself, but she figured these Muggles had always been so acceptant of her, and they looked nervous enough about their own daring… She would just have to be a Gryffindor about it, and make sure they all had a good night.

After all, she wasn’t that innocent as in never having seen a male’s body… She had dated Ron for a while between sixth and seventh year, a month of passion that had been hot and cold at intervals before they’d called it a day. In one of the ‘hot’ episodes, they had gone all the way. It was her first and only time, and it had been awkward and painful, especially afterwards…

And then there had been that awfully embarrassing time, when Ginny had pulled an ill-advised prank on her by letting her believe Harry was in mortal danger, and she had run in head first in the boys’ changing room after a Quidditch practise. She had gotten a rather full view of her other best friend as well as some of the younger Gryffindor team-mates… The former, she hadn’t mind as much as she should’ve had, the latter, though…

She chased away the past, and looked at the still apprehensive faces of her friends. Hooking they’re arms together, she made idle chit-chat, while they brought her to the cellars of the dorm building, and Jane sensed her mission of calming them by keeping their minds occupied was accomplished. The group had lost its scared-nervousness, and was again giggling in anticipation…

The cellars had always been party spaces, since they were almost sound-proof, and since they didn’t disturb studying or sleeping students with their loud music, campus security rarely bothered the students there. Still, Jane hoped they wouldn’t be caught with the stripper, she wasn’t sure, but there should be some kind of rule about inviting someone like that inside the dorm cellar…

“We told him to go wait in 007,” Jude said, pushing Jane to the front of the group, letting her go first.

Room 007 was the room at the end of the very long hallway, being the seventh door there… It was also the room that was the hottest since the plumbing for hot water ran through there. It was just underneath the dorm showers, so unless they were extremely loud, nobody would ever hear them.

Jane heard Paula ask: “I wonder what costume he’ll be wearing?”

“Who cares? He’ll be taking it off anyway!” that was Jude.

“Didn’t you have to request it beforehand?” Jane asked.

Ramana said: “Well, it’s not like we have much experience about it, and I didn’t know what to request, so the only limitation I gave him was full frontal, since we didn’t feel up to that… But he was very nice about it, and he said he’d find something on his own… Oh, God! I told him your name was Jane! What if he comes as Tarzan?”

“Well, in that case, the striptease will be over before it started!” ‘Jane’ joked, “So you saw him?”

“No, it was all done over the phone… in fact, he better show up because we’ve already paid him…” said Georgia.

Lydia contemplated: “Do you think he’s going to be in a tuxedo with those buttons along the side, so he can rip them off?”

“God, I hope not. That’s so James Bond…” Paula complained.

“What’s wrong with James Bond?” Ramana demanded.

Paula shrugged: “Nothing I suppose, it’s just a bit… ordinary…”

Jude interrupted: “At my mum’s party,” the girls groaned, not wanting to hear this, “What! I thought you guys were at least a tad feminist, why wouldn’t my mother have a party before she married my stepfather, or can only the man have a bachelor party? Anyway, he was some kind of wood man… You know, the flannel shirt and worn jeans kind of thing, getting sweaty chopping wood…”

Jane frowned: “You don’t think he’s destroying school property as we speak do you?”

Lydia looked concerned too, but they had arrived at the slightly ajar door of 007. Coming from the room was classical music. Hermione was startled to see there was a white rose at the handle. The action struck her as romantic, not something a stripper should do… But it soothed her in a way… taking the rose in her hand, she opened the door, and heard classical music playing more loudly.

Entering the room almost reverently, she saw a boy’s back, hunched over a book. Thinking she must be wrong, she took in his boyish appearance. The dark blue pants and jersey he wore looked like a uniform of some private high school… The way he was hunched over like that, and his mop of black hair made her think of Harry…

“Sirius?” Ramana called out from beside her, making Jane jump.

With wide eyes she looked at the boy… no young man, who turned at the mention of the name. ‘Hermione’ didn’t know what to expect, especially when she heard his name… The young man was obviously not that much older then her, possibly even just as old. As far as she could notice his eyes were the darkest blue she’d ever seen, and he vaguely reminded her of the Sirius she had once known…

Shaking those sad feelings away, she noticed he had rolled up the sleeves of the white shirt he wore, and they showed off his lean arms. Not overly muscular, but… manly nonetheless… His face held a sort of aristocratic beauty, that again reminded ‘Jane’ of Sirius, but the unruly mop of hair reminded her of someone else, so much that she actually flicked her gaze over his forehead to make sure there was no scar there, and feeling more then a bit foolish when she noticed only smooth skin.

And Sirius may not be a common Muggle name, but it was probably some kind of stage name, so it would make sense to choose a name of a constellation… It would add to his mysteriousness…

Sirius hadn’t spoken a word and when the rest of her Muggle friends took their places on the chairs that had been set there, the stripper moved towards ‘Jane’ in solemn silence. The music changed from classical soothing, to something she didn’t quite recognise. It seemed to sweep her heart up, and she saw her friends were relaxing into the situation also.

‘Hermione’ was glad her friends seemed pleasantly surprised with the costume. It did appeal to them in the way of still having that lingering longing for the popular guy at school, the unattainable guy who wouldn’t be bothered with the studious kids… But having entered catching him read, made the bloke seem even more intriguing.

Jane was brought out of her analyses of the stripper’s excellent preparation work, by the blue gaze locking hers.

“Jane,” ‘Hermione’ was startled when he had seemingly guessed who she was. Her mind screamed that he could’ve guessed by the way she was the only one standing and holding the white rose he’d put at the door. Still, the way he solemnly said her name like that… But really, she had seen far more creepy things, and it sort of added to the attractive mystery that Sirius created about him.

He was holding out his hand for her, and carefully she accepted it. He brought her offered hand up, and brushed his lips briefly over the back of her hand. Taking the rose from her other hand, he placed the flower in her hair, before holding her in a dancing position. He started to gently rock her to the beat of the alluring music. Jane felt slightly dizzy, but something started to nag at the back of her mind. She caught his smell, and the soothing familiarity of male scent almost made her melt.

Again, the music changed, but this time more subtly, in a slightly more intense and upbeat fashion. It had increased in volume gradually, so now that she thought of it, the music was quite loud, but because it wasn’t sudden, it didn’t seem like her eardrums were assaulted. And it gave the atmosphere a sort of intimacy, not hearing anything but the music…

After a while she recognised the music as Enigma’s Principles of lust. Sirius led her to her chair, and started opening his jersey in a methodical way, looking at each of the girls in turn. Giving ‘Jane’ a lopsided grin, he shrugged it off, and threw it at Jude, who caught it from the air and left the garment over his lap.

The atmosphere seemed to change from solemn to the more ‘naughty’ mood, required for the coming events. He set his foot on one of the unoccupied chairs, and proceeded to unlace his shoes one after the other, giving the audience a nice look at his covered, but tight bum… His body kept moving to the beat, sometimes almost imperceptible… With a mischievous grin on his face, he stepped over to Claudia, and took her hands up to the top of his shirt. He allowed her to open the first buttons of his shirt. This earned her a playful peck on the nose.

Dancing his way to the other girls, he took his time. Ramana, and a furiously blushing Lydia came next, respectively getting a mock-solemn kiss on the forehead and a ruffling of hair for their work of finishing the buttons of the shirt. Paula stood to help him out of it, and got to keep the shirt as a reward. With his bare chest, he hunched over a very flustered Jude, and whispered something in his ear. Jane couldn’t believe that even that scene was sexy. She had been reluctantly foreseeing a giggling and shouting fest, but this was mysterious and serene, almost innocent, while still very much fun…

Almost against her will, she had to admit that the stripper really knew how to understand his audience, and how to pull everything off without seeming silly. The music and his mesmerizing movements had Jane more then intrigued. When he had danced a while with just his pants on, he again approached her, making her stand up. Turning his back to her, he brought her hands around him. Gently he bent his legs, and to the beat of the music he got down slowly before returning to stand. All the while brushing his back slightly to her front.

Jane almost gasped, though they barely touched, it was one of the most sensual things she had ever imagined. His hands returned to hers, and they brought them to the belt of his pants. Refusing to let him know she was trembling, she bit her lower lip, and worked on the loops of the belt. Once his pants were open, he fled her embrace, and stopped a few paces away from her. The music was building to a crescendo, and he kept his back to them.

At the peak of the music, he tore the pants away, leaving him in only very tight, dark blue shorts, that left little to the imagination. His legs were also lean, and quite sexy, if Jane dared say so. Unable to stop herself from comparing, she judged the stripper being nothing like Ron.

The end of his dance passed rather in a daze for Jane. She was strangely apprehensive about this Sirius, and the strange feeling of… what was it exactly… was intriguing her as well as scaring her a bit. She barely noticed the departure of her friends, though she could hear their giggling echo in her mind…

In her overanalysing mode about this stripper and the feelings he stirred in her, she was surprised when she saw Sirius stand in front of her, fully clothed. He had traded the school uniform for simple but still rather stylish dark green slacks, with a bordeaux-coloured jumper concealing a white button-up shirt.

Looking questioningly at the young man, he must’ve understood her confusion because he spoke softly, while a small smile appeared on his face:

“I gather your friends didn’t explain everything about your gift?” His voice sounded calm and even a bit soothing, in a way… While she struggled to keep her attention from getting diverted by his intense gaze, she heard: “You do get me for the whole night…”

To say she was shocked was a slight understatement… Once the meaning of his words hit her, she had half a mind to sprint out of the room, after her so-called friends, to have a good yell at them. But his slight chuckle interrupted that fantasy.

Looking up again in his strangely inviting eyes… they actually were rather grey-blue… she felt captivated.

“Don’t worry, Jane, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to… We can walk all over town, if you want, or you just want to sit here and talk all night, that’s fine with me too. Anything you want…”

Jane frowned: “But I thought… Well…” To her own horror she felt she was blushing… And it wasn’t making the situation easier when she caught him smiling cheekily at her, seemingly enjoying watching her struggle with her words…

“What did you think, Jane?” He seemed to be mocking her, and now more then ever she was reminded of a distant memory…

“Let’s just stay here, for a while? We can talk, right?” Regaining some of her composure she sat from her chair, took his hand and dragged him towards a corner of the basement where she knew there would be some old couches. The ‘make-out’ corner wasn’t really a place she frequented… ever… but it would make for the most comfortable place to talk.

Settling herself as far away from him as possible, she made herself comfortable. The obvious self-confidence of this Sirius unnerved her and excited her all at once. The similarities with his late namesake were uncanny, and the conflicting emotions those caused were confusing.

Next to the dull sadness she felt not just a little bit of lust for this character. Unable to handle the fact she wouldn’t mind sleeping with someone paid to sleep with her, she ignored her sinful thoughts, and trusted her cool rational side to get her out of the mess. As most times this side of her didn’t fail to help, to the point that a fleeting thought came to her that maybe she was a dried up old maid…

Better think of that an other time. Sirius was looking at her with that sexy mischievous little grin.

“So why do you do this?” gesturing nonchalantly with her hand to mask the tremble in her voice, indicating she meant his profession in taking clothes off. “Is this your chosen profession?” Jane’s tone was rather bossy, and she inwardly cringed at the sound, not to mention the topic… As an almost graduate in Psychology courses she should know better than this…

Fortunately, all Sirius did was chuckle… “You jump right into business talk, don’t you? You remind me of someone, always wanting to go straight to the root of the problem. Is that why you’re studying here? I understood they teach all kinds of insights in the human mind at the university?” His tone was rather mocking at the last statement.

He avoided the question and Jane let him, too embarrassed to let her curiosity out. But she also felt the need to defend her education, and she headed straight into a litany proving the usefulness of her courses. Although a voice in her head disputed that this wasn’t exactly appropriate, and even so, the man beside her probably thought it all to be quite dull, she couldn’t stop herself.

To her surprise however, he interrupted her to respond to some parts of her lecture, proving he had indeed been listening. Soon they were entangled in quite a bit of a debate. It was unlike anything ‘Hermione’ had ever experienced. She was aware most of her knowledge came from reading and studying, and a bit from just watching people…

His obviously came from experience. Soon the whole conversation pivoted around women and men, and their ‘opposite’ inner psyche. The conversation was amusing, and Jane had never had so much fun in arguing, about nonsense and about serious questions alike. She felt herself open up to this Sirius, feeling completely at ease with him.

“So you see, women and men both are complaining about not understanding each other, when really they’re much more alike on the inside. The problem lies with how they show it on the outside: they just get each others’ signals wrong!”

“But even their brains are different! Testosterone is produced since the early development of a male embryo, organizing boys’ brain cells differently then girls’. So there is a huge biological difference between the two sexes aside from the obvious ones!”

Sirius and Jane were laughing, having finally reached a consensus to agree to disagree. A companionable silence fell on the couple, making them ease back on the couch, enjoying the moment.

Suddenly Sirius stomach growled, making Jane smile. To her surprise he seemed a bit embarrassed – the man had stripped before her for Merlin sakes! Taking the initiative before he could, she proposed to get a bite to eat.

Trying to be casual about it, she summoned her bag from Ramana’s room, pretending she had left it in a corner all this time. Sirius didn’t even pay attention to it, though, and he never showed a sign of curiosity. Maybe men really weren’t that attentive. Or was it just Muggles?

Strolling through London, she let the night air cool her off. Walking next to Sirius, they prattled on about everything and anything, from more serious topics, to silly things, and Jane’s suspicion about his name proved true. He wouldn’t tell her his real name though. despite the great mystery surrounding him, Jane felt some inner peace she hadn’t felt with anyone else but… Well, let’s not go there tonight…

It was well after closing time for most restaurants, but London wouldn’t be London if there wasn’t a place open all night. Finding a quaint little diner, they made their way, and ordered some burgers.

When it was time to pay the check, Jane wouldn’t let Sirius pay for her part. She was ready to let him have an earful, but then he made her an offer she couldn’t refuse.

“Oh, come on! If you let me pay your part, I’ll let you guess why I do what I do… hmm?”

‘Hermione’ didn’t like the way his eyes were glittering with amusement, as if he knew very well she wouldn’t be able to say no to that. However, she grudgingly accepted…

Staying at their little table, finishing up their last drinks, Jane was watching him closely.

“Jane, I know you’re dying to… Just give it your best shot. You know what, I’ll give you three tries… And just to save you the obvious one: no, I’m not poor, and I don’t do this for the money only…” His eyes twinkled again, making her feel like he was daring her or something…

Thinking aloud, Hermione accepted the challenge: “Not for the money only… You don’t need the money, and you have passable looks…” at this Sirius made a face, but not giving him a chance to protest, she continued: “You seem quite intelligent, as well as charming…”

“Why thank you, but I still have to hear some kind of guess here…”

“Well, it’s obvious it isn’t just a way to get… well, girls… women… to sleep with you. Even if you wanted to sleep with women, no strings attached, there are other ways, since you obviously wouldn’t have troubles picking up unsuspecting victims with your Don Juan abilities. Of course that would probably cost you more than earn you, but I think that’s beside the point… Or perhaps the women who fall for that act aren’t the ones you want… Perhaps, you want more than airheads, but at the same time you don’t want a serious relationship… Why, I wonder…”

Before Sirius could reply to any of that, Jane just continued.

“From what I understood of Jude there’s only a phone number to reach you for these jobs. No address, not anything other, making you quite the mystery… So that implies you have another job, another life, besides the stripping, and that makes stripping your little secret. And because you don’t need the money, you should enjoy it. Is it the power to have the attention of women focusing on you, to make them act like they never would outside the moment you perform? Or is it the other way around, you secretly like the power they have over you, paying you and using you? Maybe it’s a little bit of both…”

Jane frowned her brow looking at the man in front of her, who was trying to hide how her words were affecting him. He cleared his throat, obviously trying to interrupt her thought process. But ‘Hermione’ was quicker, again:

“Wait, I still have a third guess…”

Regaining his composure fully, Sirius stared at her, amused.

“Well by all means, Ms Shrink, do proceed…” Sirius was obviously trying to make the conversation more light, and succeeding in concealing his reactions more efficiently…

Jane ignored his smug act though, and tried to decipher the last piece that was troubling her…

“Well, all this could explain why you’re continuing this. But it still doesn’t explain how you started. Did you always enjoy taking your clothes off, streaking the halls in high school? Or were you a rather shy teenager, and did you want to make up for lost years?” Jane frowned, and mused loudly: “But in that case, how did you end up in this profession? Maybe it started as a dare? Or something along those lines…”

Curiosity shone in her eyes when she finally addressed the man in front of her: “So which was it?”

Sirius just smirked though, and answered: “Good guesses…” he nodded: “No really, three great guesses… Are you ready with that?” He motioned to her drink.

Confused Jane nodded, watching him get up. He indicated for her to do so as well, and bewildered Jane let him guide her out of the diner. Again the night air cooled her down, but it didn’t take away the irritation she felt at his infuriating smirk.

“Are you going to answer me?” She finally demanded.

“About what?” He glanced at her innocently.

She huffed: “About the guesses… Were they right?”

In an aloof voice he feigned surprise: “Ah, but I only promised you guesses… I never said anything about evaluating them…”

Her mouth going slack, Jane stood stock-still, watching Sirius’ back as he wandered off, as if he hadn’t just been acting as the most infuriating man on the planet… Well, as Ron always reminded her, she couldn’t be certain, since she hadn’t met everyone on this planet, but if you came close to topping Ronald Weasley, that was saying something…

Watching him turn around, with an apologetic smile on his face, she was still searching for an appropriate comeback… but her mind was drawing a blank. He sauntered back to her, standing very close, wrapping one arm around her shoulders, causing her bag to fall.

Momentarily distracted, she watched as Sirius picked up her bag. He studied her Muggle bag carefully, frowning a bit: “Do you always carry around this much weight?”

Glaring, Jane got her bearings back and snapped: “Don’t change the subject!”

“Look Jane, I’m sure little old me seems fascinating to you,” he smirked when he saw her roll her eyes, “But this evening has been anything but dull, so let’s not start now. Please…”

Quite dramatically, he pouted and got on his knees, making Jane laugh. Feeling light-hearted, she told herself that this wasn’t a real date, as much as it felt that way, and that things like getting to know one another didn’t matter… The whole exciting part of it was that they connected – at least that’s how she felt about it – without having to worry about the outcome…

They’d probably never see each other again, so they might as well enjoy each other’s company. Without overanalysing things… The fact that everything seemed easier to let go when she looked into his eyes – sparkling with mischief – was a bit unnerving… But what the heck: she deserved a night free of worry and discipline…

So, smiling back at him, she took his offered hand, and they wandered off together. She let him lead, since she had no particular plan as to where to go. After a few streets of companionable silence specked with silly remarks and laughter, Sirius suddenly halted the walk.

Curious she looked up into his gentle gaze. Butterflies erupted from everywhere within her, and she tried to calm herself enough to just let herself think… Holding her gaze silently, for just a little while longer, he finally stared at something behind her, making her turn around to see.

Across the street from where they were standing, she saw a little hotel. It looked relatively nice, but obviously quite cheap. Not sleazy at least. The vacancy sign was illuminated, and she frowned, catching the meaning.

Turning back to Sirius, she felt not as uncomfortable as she should be. Rationally, the last thing she wanted to do, was to have paid sex. Even more so, she never pictured herself being intimate with a total stranger either… As much as she’d liked talking with Sirius tonight…

‘Hermione’s’ decision seemed clear, she didn’t want to demean neither her nor Sirius by having some meaningless sex. It just wasn’t her… She wouldn’t see Sirius ever again, after today. That thought made her oddly sad. But on the other hand, did she really want to become involved with someone who didn’t take making love seriously? And was she ready to betray the emotions she felt for… No, that thought was a dead-end…

Her confusing musings were interrupted.

Whispering Sirius reminded her: “I told you I wouldn’t force anything on you. I just thought it was getting late and the trip to the dorms is quite a long one. Besides I know you have to study for exams and all, it just seems more practical to crash here. I’m relatively knackered myself.”

As an afterthought he added teasingly: “I can’t promise I won’t try to seduce you once we’re inside though…” With a smile and a wink, he made Jane laugh, oddly, setting her at ease.

Even though she still had her reservations, she let herself be taken in this carefree moment. Before she knew how it had been arranged, she was standing in a small hotel room, watching Sirius getting ready for bed.

Yawning he took of his trousers, and it was then that Jane quickly turned her back on him. Trying to make conversation, she asked as casually as she could:

“The right or left side…” When she didn’t receive an answer right away, she clarified: “Of the bed?”

Meanwhile, she was taking off her coat, trying to figure out how much of her modesty she should protect.

“You’re not going to try and make me sleep on this chair or on the ground?” His voice sounded teasing, but she supposed it just didn’t occur to her. So she just shrugged in response.

Besides, she wouldn’t get a wink of sleep from the guilt with the thought on how uncomfortable it must be to sleep anywhere in this room but the bed. And he did pay his half for this room, too, so it wouldn’t be fair. And she could keep her hands off him. Moreover, her instincts told her she could trust him too…

Shaking her head, she discreetly touched the pocket in which her wand was concealed. Smirking to herself, she knew that even if he wasn’t trustworthy, she would have ways to calm him down that were completely legal… She wasn’t studying Magical laws for nothing, she knew her own rights as a witch quite well…

Finding reassurance in that thought, she felt the tiredness creep into her bones. After a quick trip to the bathroom on the other end of their hallway, she readied herself for bed. Glad the lights had been dimmed by Sirius, she forgot about reservations, and stripped leaving only her shirt and knickers.

Quickly slipping under the covers, she ignored the feelings Sirius’ gaze caused, and lied on her side, with her back to him.

After a mutual quiet goodnight, it wasn’t that long before she fell asleep.

~*~*~

Hermione felt warm and pleasant, safe almost. Lingering in the state between sleep and consciousness, she felt strangely excited. Thinking she was dreaming, she could swear she felt a warm body behind her back.

Her eyes flew open when she felt a weight pulling across her stomach, only to relax a little when she remembered where she was.

Sirius was obviously still asleep, having some kind of discomforting dream. He was mumbling incoherently, and seemed to be holding her as if she was his anchor while the dream was holding him. Having seen slumbering people reliving nightmares on more occasions than she could count, she gently turned within his embrace, and prodded him gently, coaxing him out of his nightmare.

In the darkness it was only possible to see a small glint once he opened his eyes. She smiled reassuringly. Groggily he asked:

“Why’d you wake me?”

She whispered back: “Because it sounded as if you were having a nightmare…”

“Oh” was his only response… Then a mumbled: “Sorry, did I wake you?”

“No, I was up, no trouble…” Jane was very aware of the proximity of his body, and the few hours of sleep weren’t nearly enough to clear her mind.

So for a lack of anything better to do, she checked the clock: 4 am… They really should get more sleep. The closeness though made her feel quite excited, but she didn’t pull away, nor did he. Thinking of a way to make him the one to move away she sleepily asked:

“Are you going to tell me now, why it is you strip for money?” Thinking the question would bug him and make him move away, back to his side of the bed…

However, Sirius just chuckled: “Ok, I guess you did save me from a nightmare, so I should repay you…”

Heaving a big sigh, Jane felt his body move slightly against her own, making her suppress the shivers that caused. Surprised she watched him… Was he really going to open up, or was he just playing with her again?

“Honestly?”

Sirius paused, before seriously stating: “Well, it’s not likely we’ll ever meet again… And I can’t imagine you telling anyone to hurt my reputation… Besides, how often do I get the chance to get a free psycho-analysis hour?”

He joked again, making light of the situation, but Jane felt oddly curious about his story. Patiently, she let him talk, not once interrupting him.

“I suppose your guesses were quite right, though I never thought of phrasing such reasons myself… Actually, it just makes me feel free… mostly… I can’t really explain it, but the anonymity of it… Nobody knows who I really am, and I never get booed away… In a way, it’s quite simple. You have to know what they expect of you. You meet those expectations by performing well, and everyone’s happy… It’s exciting, and liberating, in a primal fashion. And it’s never really detached… With women, you always have to try and connect in some way, though there’s never the burden of the fantasy shattering by a long-term relationship… It’s like reliving the first exciting meeting over and over again…”

Suddenly a bit embarrassed, Sirius’ tone reverted to a less far-away one: “Well, I guess that’s why I do this. And getting laid without having to buy dinner and flowers is a perk…”

Laughing, Jane instinctively pulled him into a hug. There was no rational reason why she would act like that, but she felt it so importantly… He had shared a bit of himself, and she felt touched, even though she couldn’t really trust this wasn’t all some kind of act…

But her gesture had caused her to be pressed against his chest, and she felt her nipples tingle underneath the cloth of her shirt. Trembling slightly, she was quite aware of his breath near her earlobe, and she shivered in anticipation. For what? Merlin only knew…

Not letting go of the hug, because it felt too wonderfully exciting, she expected Sirius’ to pull away. Instead, he just whispered in her ear:

“Jane?”

“Hmm?”

“What do you want to happen next?” His husky question made her want him very much, but at the same time it reminded her that it was only because of a paid job that he wouldn’t stop her. In a way, she felt hurt. She supposed she’d rather have him really want her… unsuspecting that her thoughts had just betrayed her into admitting she wanted him… in a bad way… she carefully extracted her arms from his shoulders, intending to let go.

His arms tensed though, and what happened next abolished her trusty rational side to deeper recesses of her mind:

“Jane, I’m bound by my promise to you, but you’ve got to tell me now… I… I want you, and I’m not saying this to scare you, or to manipulate you, or anything, and I need to know if it’s mutual? I get that you’re not the kind of woman who would stage a one-night stand with a stranger, but can’t you feel the intensity of the moment? It’s exciting, and we connect, and we won’t have to think about any consequences… Tomorrow, we’ll just walk away, with a beautiful memory of one perfect night, untainted by history nor future… You just say the word, and I’ll abide by your wishes?”

Jane’s inner core of bundled feelings erupted again, as if delightfully painful spicy hot sauce was running through her veins, instead of just blood. Where did her blood go to? Irrationality overpowered her senses, and it was all she could do to just melt. Doubt was still foremost in her mind: she tried to decide what to do. Her head wasn’t giving her any help anymore, and she was torn between listening to her heart and her body.

Which wasn’t a good thing, because both were giving mixed signals. Her body wanted him, but was reluctant by inexperience. Her heart yearned for affection, but not really from him, though he was quite wonderful too, but she knew there wouldn’t be anything long-term coming from it…

“Jane, not to rush you or anything, but I kinda need to know,” his tone teasing again, “I’d like to retain some dignity and use the privacy of the bathroom if you’re going to tell me to bugger off…”

Jane smiled, and in that moment the seriousness of the situation was broken, leaving only lust. She threw caution in the wind, and scrambled all her Gryffindor courage together, mumbling:

“Don’t you dare waste any… enthusiasm… outside of this room…”

Before she could act upon her promise, though, he’d already grabbed her around the waste, scooting her more to the middle of the bed, leaning over her. His sudden actions had caused her to squeal and giggle more carefree than ever before, and she loved the way she was feeling so inhibited around Sirius.

He warned her with a smile in his voice: “I’m going to kiss you right now… Just so you’re warned…”

Lowering his mouth to hers, Jane’s heart beat hard, but she couldn’t help smiling and grabbing his head, to hurry up the process. Taking her lead, he teased her, kissing her lightly, pecking her on the skin of her face, making them both laugh and fool around more.

With their antics, Jane suddenly brushed her thigh against his erection, making her pause. Sirius stayed immobile, as if to wait for her reaction before continuing. Slightly out of breath, she felt a wave of warmth pool under her stomach: that erection was for her…

There were two things ‘Hermione’ had discovered that turned her on. The first was an intense stare. So eyes were important to her. That more than anything she had found most attractive about Sirius, even when he danced. The expressiveness of his gaze made her melt. Then there was the turn-on of a guy being attracted to her to the point of wanting her… She wasn’t very proud of that one… Since it had hypocritically been the large part of the reason why she had dated Ron… And Victor before him… But ‘wanting’ in a more innocent way back then…

Maybe it was because she didn’t see herself as very much to look at. A bossy know-it-all bookworm had many qualities, just not the femme fatale ones…

Of course, she was in disguise now, but still, she hadn’t changed anything about her body, only some facial features and the colour of hair and eyes… So it was still very stimulating that he desired her. Her rational side did remind her that some guys didn’t need much more incentive when in the dark with a female in their bed, but she ignored it.

So seeing that Sirius fulfilled those two requirements, and much more: he’d been surprisingly very nice company all night long… All these factors, along with herself telling that annoyingly prim and proper inner voice to shut up, made Jane take action instead of waiting for his next move.

Sliding her hand from his back, she cupped the bulge inside his boxers, stroking it carefully. Sirius gaze wavered slightly, before he crashed his lips against her, this time in a more passionate than teasing kiss. Jane gave as good as she got though, helping him when his hands wanted access to her skin by bunching up her shirt.

She hadn’t the patience to take it off though, the feel of her bare breasts against his chest too wonderfully exciting to think about breaking the contact. The shirt just bunched up above her breasts, Sirius didn’t waste time though, going after them with his lips.

‘Hermione’ had never felt this frenzied, and she loved every minute of it. The swiftness she’d hated her first time with Ron was nothing compared to this. Maybe it was because Sirius seemed to know where to touch her other than the obvious places to make this pleasurable for her, and he didn’t fumble up…

Well, he was more experienced, but this was still not going fast enough for Jane… Surprising herself with her impatience, she dragged Sirius’ head back to kiss him. He returned the gesture eagerly, and didn’t stop her when she slipped her hands inside his boxers. Letting her fingers run over his sensitive but powerful length, she shivered in anticipation.

Not breaking the mood, Sirius broke the kiss, and suckled gently on her neck while he drew himself up a little on his knees between her legs. She used his change of position to help him out of those boxers. Picking up something from the little table next to the bed, she realised he had been prepared for things when she saw his shadow rolling on a rubber. Soon it was her turn to take off her knickers.

Sirius wasted no time in reclaiming his position on top of her, but seemed in less of a hurry than she was. Kissing her almost tenderly, she supposed he was teasing her by denying her what she wanted. Wrapping her legs around him, she urged him to move things along. She felt him smirk against her lips, but then he brought his hand between them and… finally!

Jane gasped a bit. She had forgotten how tight the fit was. Her virginity might have been taken, but apparently that didn’t mean it would be ‘painless ever after’. Wincing a bit, she was glad when Sirius was careful and proceeded slowly.

He didn’t comment aloud though, and for that she was grateful. Soon all thoughts of anything else but pleasure left her, and she was taken care off by capable hands and movements…

Sooner than ever before, she reached her release, moaning loudly her enthusiasm for Sirius to hear. Before she could recover though, she felt that he wasn’t done with her yet. His strokes were snail-paced though and Jane took that opportunity to turn the tables on him. Indicating she wanted them to roll over, he complied with her wishes, and soon she was on top.

She had never been in this position before, and testing the way she could move, she decided it felt very pleasurable. The way he fit in her felt different, and she smiled down at him, when she felt his hands encouraging her hips to move faster. Soon they were moving in tandem, each engrossed in their own pleasure.

Sirius released before her, but his fingers had aided in pleasing her, and she wasn’t far behind him. Catching the rubber before he softened, Sirius lifted her from him, while he dutifully placed the used protection out of her reach. Turning back to her, he wrapped his arms around her, kissing her temple.

“So, are all future psychologists as passionate as your are?” he asked teasingly, still a little out of breath.

Jane just smiled and let herself revel in the feel of the aftermath. Maybe this had been just what she needed before this stressful time ahead. Soon she drifted asleep against him. But before she lost the battle with unconsciousness, she believed she understood what he meant with the anonymity being freeing… as this would explain her behaviour of tonight perfectly.

~*~*~

Her blather screamed at her to get up, but ‘Hermione’ didn’t want to leave this comforting warmth just yet. While sleep gradually lost its hold on her, she awakened to find a weight on her midriff. Frowning she tried to move.

Blinking sleepily, she saw something that would’ve been quite funny, where it not that she was a little mortified… Before her brain could panic on what the bloody hell she had been thinking having sex with a stranger, she told herself to think about it later…

Sirius’ head was resting on her bare stomach, but her shirt had crept lower over the course of the night. Now it was covering the guy’s hair, in what was sure to be a hilarious sight. Carefully, though, she tried to lift his head without waking him. It seemed to be quite light outside, and darkness was no longer protecting her nude form from him.

To her dismay, Sirius woke though, and he moved away sleepily.

“Mornin’” he said groggily. Obviously he’d been in this kind of situation before…

Jane could offer no more than a quick smile though, and after pulling her shirt securely down, she fumbled under the sheets to find her knickers. Merlin was praised when she found them quite quickly.

Aware that Sirius was looking at her with an amused glance, she shot out of bed to her pants, and ran out the door to find the bathroom. She stayed there a while, cursing her luck that she hadn’t thought of bringing her wand and leaving it in the bedroom. She could do with a few cleansing spells, feeling clammy all over.

Checking her wristwatch, though, she saw the hour, suddenly remembering she had the Weasley lunch to attend.

Entering the rented room, she saw Sirius lying on his back in the middle of the bed, his hands tucked beneath his head. He seemed to be awake, but not ready to get up and about just yet. With a smirk he said:

“Don’t you just love the awkwardness after the first time?”

Jane sent him a glare, which only made him chuckle. Not able to be really mad at him, she started to apologize:

“Sorry, but I really can’t stay. I have to be somewhere for lunch, and I don’t fancy explaining why I’m late…” Avoiding looking in his eyes, she pulled on her shoes and sweater.

She looked around for her bag, not remembering where she put it the previous night.

“Looking for this?” Sirius stood there, wearing his boxers – thank Merlin – offering her what she was looking for. Awkwardness ensued when she took it from him, but she pushed her insecurity aside, and forced herself to level her gaze with him. It wouldn’t do to stare at his bare chest at this moment…

“I really do need to go…” stopping herself from asking if she’d see him again, she just smiled apologetically, and turned around, only to find her rose on the handle of the bedroom door. Smiling she took it. Without looking back, though, she fled the room, and found herself a nice spot outside to apparate without being seen.

The sudden break to familiarity in her own apartment broke the spell of the past few hours. Though she felt the need to think over all of her actions, she refused to let herself be distracted any longer. There were too many things to do… So mentally checking her agenda, she started for her bathroom, washing up quickly and picking a set of robes for attending the Weasley lunch.

She could think about her Sirius tomorrow…

~*~*~

Feeling quite refreshed, Hermione had adopted her natural features again. Looking in the mirror she pondered about leading the double life, and its meaning. For the past night it had certainly come in handy, she could pretend it had been ‘Jane’ who’d acted so irrationally. Though she’d still have to face the fact that Jane was Hermione, in the end…

Scolding herself for letting her thoughts run away from her again, she took her bag and concentrated on the Weasleys’ home. Smiling she congratulated herself for aiming so perfectly: she was right at the front door. A soft pop behind her made her halt her movement to knock at the door, but before she could turn, the person apparting behind her had bumped into her, causing her to stumble back, and letting go of her bag.

A strange déjà vu feeling came over her when she heard the person apologize, and bending over to pick up her bag. A torrent of emotions and confusing feelings came over her, she’d recognise Harry’s voice everywhere. But the action was so familiar; Sirius had picked up her bag just the other night… Were her feelings playing tricks on her? Was fate taunting her, knowing how much she wanted him… though she had taken another… And now fate was dangling all of it in front of her… A stupid thought came to her when she watched Harry frowning at her bag. ‘What a coincidence that he has the exact same jumper Sirius was wearing the… other… night…’

In slow motion she watched Harry lift his head. If she hadn’t been blinded by her own emotions of confusion, she would’ve seen he had a sickly pale colour on his cheeks, and his green eyes were full of confusion themselves, having gazed upon a familiar bag.

By divine intervention, or maybe fate was just playing with them some more, the front door opened with a loud noise, distracting Harry and Hermione both from coming to a certain conclusion.

“There you are! Well come on in! Mom’s made her famous ratatouille and she won’t even let me taste it without everyone present, so hurry up you lot!” with that Ron ushered them in, unaware of the emotional turmoil his two best friends were in.

~*~*~

S n S n S n S n S n S n S n S n S n S n S n S n S n S

~*~*~

Author: The story was BASED on the Birthday Present Challenge, issued by MGranger, but, since I’m a stubborn pain in the but, I’ve put my very own twist on this…

Requirements were:

Harry’s an Auror who works as stripper at night, in the Muggle world. But Hermione doesn’t know about that. Hermione has a part time job at the Ministry while she goes to Muggle uni.

Her uni friend throws her a 21 birthday party with a stripper (Harry). Part of the stripper’s job is that the birthday girl can go all the way or not with him (she has to say yes to that). Before the "getting together" part of the birthday present Hermione and Harry have a talk (he has to say why, and that is up to you, he does that job)

Optional: Ron may or may not know of Harry's job. You can choose the costume. Hermione may ask him to leave his stripper’s job

http://www.portkey.org/talk/index.php?showtopic=8446&st=90

Then the long overdue Disclaimer:

The characters mostly belong to JK Rowling, with the exception of a few. I haven’t the foggiest idea if there’s really a university in London city (I know there’s Oxford and Cambrigde in the UK, and I know Hermione has the brains to get in either of those two, but I didn’t want it to be so recognisable. Besides: there’s more anonymity in London, possibilities of having a mysterious male stripper there are greater, and it’s closer to the Ministry of Magic…) Oh, and I took a quote from the movie “Two Weeks Notice”, the one about not having met everyone on the planet, I just changed the egoism into infuriating qualities…

I think that’s everything, but if I’ve forgotten anything, please don’t sue, just warn me, and give me a good scolding (if you must)!

2. And Misunderstandings...

Of Strippers and Misunderstandings

~*~*~

AN: Sorry, this isn’t a chapter…

Well, since many of you have probably already read HBP, you’ll hopefully understand why I’m abandoning this fic the way it is now.

Though, there is good news: I will be revamping this story to fit the HBP rubbish, even though it already kind of could stand the test now.

So, once it’s finished, I’ll post ‘Of Strippers…’ and then the sequel ‘And Misunderstandings…’, under the ‘book 6 – spoilers’ heading! Knowing myself, it could take a while until we’re there, but I’m hanging in, so I’ll just hope you’ll be too…

It isn’t in my nature to be vindictive (much)… Well, I won’t give away too much, but I will be working away my hurt at being called a Ron-hater in the renewed version!

A friendly warning, though. Once ‘Of Strippers…’ is posted, I will be deleting this story-link… BTW, if there’s any way I can save the wonderful reviews while doing that, I’d like to know about it (well, other than copy/pasting of course)… But I don’t want to keep taking up more space then necessary on the internet…

So, that’s it: I’ll see you (soon, preferably)

xxx, Stietoe aka nienie