A Serious Talk

NatiFcs28

Rating: R
Genres: Romance, Humor
Relationships: Lily & James
Book: Lily & James, Books 1 - 5
Published: 13/07/2005
Last Updated: 14/07/2005
Status: completed

James and Lily have a slight little issue to settle, which (to James) could be the difference between moving their relationship to the next level or breaking things off. Naturally, happy ending. One-shot, PWP, changed to R because people complained, fluffy.

Chapters

1. A Serious Talk

2. The Morning After

1. A Serious Talk

Summary: I'm not really sure, but I'll try to explain it. James and Lily have a slight little issue to settle, which (to James) could be the difference between moving their relationship to the next level or breaking things off. Naturally, happy ending. One-shot, PWP, PG-13 (since I got hated on for posting Black Roses Red as an R), fluffy, and some funny (I hope) banter. I won't screw up and put the wrong ship this time. Promise.

Disclaimer: As usual, I don't own any of this, though if I did, you can bet I wouldn't be mourning my insufficient clothing for my cruise. Though, looking back, I blame it on the fact that I hate shopping with my mother. So, looking at my wardrobe, I can conclude I am definitely not J.K. Rowling, and I've accepted that. I am, however, Natali. So worship me. (Just kidding. Sad day when I take over as the Cuban Princess…)

*~*~*_A Serious Talk by Natali_*~*~*

“Could somebody explain to me why everybody is trying to be all up in our business?” Lily Evans asked her boyfriend, James Potter, as they headed across Hyde Park.

James Potter shot her a charming smile and shrugged, hazel eyes sparkling mischievously. “I could honestly care less.” And he didn't. If, for some reason, the magical world found the relationship between a promising Auror and a junior assistant to the Minister of Magic amusing, he could not give a damn. Really, he didn't see why anyone even cared about their little courtship.

Lily narrowed her eyes at him. “Well, yes, you would, wouldn't you?”

“Stop getting yourself into such a snit,” James laughed, picking a spot under a shaded tree and plopping down. “We're on vacation, Lils.”

“We're being hounded by busybodies,” she grumbled, sitting next to him. His arm automatically went around her shoulder, and her head automatically leaned on his.

“We're relaxing,” he sad brightly, watching a little kid being pushed around in his tram by his mum. “What do you think about kids, Lils?”

Lily laughed, examining her fingernails. “Don't even think about it. If we had a kid anytime soon, we'd likely forget the poor dear somewhere. Not a sane move at all.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” he asked, feigning hurt.

“You and Sirius just set the hotel room on fire last night, James. You say you accidentally left the iron on, but I know you were doing something else.” She screwed up her eyes, clearly thinking. “I just haven't figured out what.”

James smiled to himself, laying a hand on her hip. “I'll never tell.”

“You will. When you least expect it,” she replied easily, closing her eyes and letting the heat of the day lull her. “It's a hot summer.”

“Sure is. Thirty Celsius I heard.”

“Feels like a bloody oven.” She opened her eyes and looked at her watch. “We've got to go, love. Remus wanted to check out that wax exhibit, whatever it is.”

“Madam something's,” James muttered, standing and offering her a hand. “I'd rather go to a pub. It's cooler outside than inside.”

“And no doubt you'll go there, with Sirius, and get so pissed you won't know up from down,” she snorted, resisting a smile.

“And my prize of a girlfriend will no doubt be there, for all the nosy magical world to see and to take pictures,” he chuckled, heading for their hotel room. “I predict tonight they'll say you're carrying my love child.”

Lily hissed, pinching his arm. “Bite that bloody tongue of yours, James! Someone will overhear and think you're dead serious!”

“Or they might think you just said Sirius is dead.”

“Or they might get to witness your murder!”

James only smirked, grabbing her hand and swinging it like a little kid.

Lily smiled at him, but quickly sobered when she saw a group of their old Hogwarts friends coming towards them. “We're being stalked. They have no business in London!”

“I know. Don't you love it? We should have been famous movie stars, Lils,” he laughed, waving.

“Don't encourage them!” she shrieked, smiling and waving with clenched teeth.

*~*~*

Later that night, James lay staring up at the fuzzy ceiling. He'd taken off his glasses when he and Lily had… er, gone to bed, and hadn't put them on for fear of waking her.

Don't even think about it.

He kept thinking about it. It'd never occurred to him that Lily might not want children, which was a very important thing to him.

If we had a kid anytime soon, we'd likely forget the poor dear somewhere.

You didn't forget a child. Not for more than a few minutes anyway. His mum had left him in one of the shops in Diagon Alley once, and he turned out ok.

Not a sane move at all.

He'd never claimed sanity. Insanity had claimed him years ago. But to him, it seemed something perfectly acceptable. He wanted to have kids, at least a boy and a girl, twenty if he could. Could he keep seeing Lily if that wasn't what she wanted too?

He turned his head to look at her fuzzy, sleeping form. It was dark in the room, but his eyes had long adjusted and he could see every detail of her face. Though he couldn't see the freckle on the very edge of her upper lip, he knew it was there. He knew her inside out.

As if realizing she was being thought about, Lily stirred and blinked her eyes. She found James' eyes and instantly asked, “What's the matter? Why can't you sleep?”

The corners of his lips kicked up and he went back to staring at the ceiling. “Nothing. Thinking.”

“I figured,” she yawned, stretching. One of her breasts slipped out from under the blanket. James frowned as he felt himself become aroused. She was going to be the death of him. “Oops,” she laughed, covering herself up.

“I'd meant to talk to you earlier today, at the Park.”

“'Bout what?”

“Kids.”

“I thought we did talk about that?”

“Not really. You sort of changed the subject.”

“Oh, I'm sorry. I hadn't meant to,” she said earnestly, toying with the hairs on his chest. “Honestly, I'd thought you were joking.”

“Why would I joke about something like that?”

“James, it's hard to imagine you thinking about something as serious as kids, meaning you'd be thinking about something as serious as marriage, meaning you'd be thinking about commitment.” Her green eyes met his. “And no offense, but you're not known for your commitment.”

“I've been with you for awhile, haven't I?” he growled, his mood darkening.

“Be that as it may, you could still up and leave me some day. There are no strings attached—no children, no marriage, no house, no—”

“I get the picture,” he interrupted, sitting up and out of her reach. “That doesn't mean I plan to leave you.”

Lily bit her lip and sat up, kneeling and giving him a hug from behind. “I never thought you would,” she whispered. “Well, not recently anyway. I'll admit that at the beginning I was wary.”

James didn't reply, but accepted the glasses she held out to him. “You know me too well,” he muttered. He'd just been wishing for them.

“Do I?” she giggled, kissing his shoulder. “So, what would you like to have a serious talk about?”

James smiled. “We don't have serious talks, Lily. We have witty bantering with underlying meanings that are serious.”

“Fine,” Lily shrugged, nibbling his ear. “I've got a surprise. I'm pregnant.”

James whipped his head around so quick he got a crick and hit Lily's forehead. “Are you really?”

“No,” she laughed, holding her forehead. She fell back onto the bed, laughing so hard tears fell out of her eyes. “No, I'm not pregnant, James.”

“I got a bloody crick in the neck because of you,” he snarled, coming over her. “You should be punished.”

Lily's eyes danced at the thought. “Ooh, are you going to spank me, Daddy?”

“If you're lucky.” He leaned down and kissed her neck. “But first, answer a question for me: Do you or don't you intend on having little monsters of your own.”

Lily went still. “Well, that would depend.”

He stopped too, looking down on her. “On what?”

“If you wanted to. Seeing as I plan to have them with you.”

James raised a brow, considering how to react to that. Unfortunately, a certain part of his anatomy had decided Lily had never looked so delicious before, and was letting them know it needed attention.

“Ignore that,” he said gruffly.

“It's hard to ignore, Potter,” she smiled, hand sliding down to his erection.

He stopped her, and got off of her, rolling off the bed altogether. He went for his suitcase, while Lily looked on bewilderedly. He found what he was searching for, and headed back to his goddess.

Lily squinted when James turned on the lamp next to the bed, averting her head. “Turn that off, my eyes hurt.”

“I want to see your face.”

“For what? To watch as you blind me?”

“When I show you your punishment.”

“That's kinky,” she grinned, trying to open her eyes. It wasn't too painful, so she opened them all the way.

“In order to make it up to me, you must tell the whole world, in no uncertain terms, that you are mine.”

“I'm not getting a tattoo, they hurt—”

James shoved a gold band with a single diamond onto her finger. The diamond looked bigger than the actual band, but Lily didn't exactly process that.

“If you don't say yes, you can expect to be held hostage until you do. The ransom is your agreement to—” he stuttered, nervous for the first time Lily could remember.

“No kidnapping necessary. I say yes,” she whispered, drawing his lips down to her own. “On one condition.”

“Anything,” he promised quickly.

“You relieve your shortest appendage there. It's begging for attention. Oh, by the way, he's asking for me.”

“Great, because I will gladly satisfy the both of you, seeing as I like you a little, Miss Evans.” He pushed her down and covered her. His weight felt so nice, but she was already urgent and wasn't up for any foreplay.

He entered her, muffling the moan she let out in a fiery kiss.

I'm glad she wants children. Because if not, I'm not sure I would've been able to give her up, he thought. After all, I've already met her.

Outside, Sirius Black had his hand up to knock on his mates' room to tell them to come to a club. Remus stopped him.

“What?” Sirius asked.

Remus nodded at the door handle. “Our James very smartly put up the `Do Not Disturb' sign.”

Sirius snorted. “That was Lily. James is too horny half the time to think of things like that.”

Remus chuckled in agreement. “Come on. Marie and Britney are waiting!”

*~*~*Seven Months Later*~*~*

Lily, a Potter for nearly two months now, smiled at her husband as he toweled his hair dry. “Been meaning to tell you something, love.”

James looked at her in the mirror, grinning abruptly. “I'll bet anything Sirius gave you that lingerie.” His eyes wandered appreciatively over the transparent silk.

“He did,” she admitted, laughing. “He said he thought you'd enjoy it. I've saved it for a special occasion.”

James raised his eyebrows, running a comb through his unruly hair. “And what would that be?”

“I found out I'm pregnant today.”

James' eyebrows dropped and he turned to look at her. “Lily, I might be blinded by love, but I'm not an idiot. You've tried that three times in the past seven months. I'm not falling for it again.”

“I'm not joking this time, honest.”

“That's what you said last week!” He turned back to the mirror.

Lily bit her lip, trying not to laugh. “Yeah, but I'm not lying this time.”

“Sure, Lils. You forget there's a reason I married you. You have a sense of humor. But you need to learn it's only funny once or twice—unless it's tripping Peter repeatedly, that never gets old.”

He was about to go into more detail of how she could be a better Marauder's wife, but something hit him on the back of the head. He looked, and saw a paper airplane lying on the floor, twitching pathetically.

“I learned that at the office. It's how the Ministry communicates with interdepartmental—”

“Just because I hardly ever go to the Ministry doesn't mean I don't know a few things,” he told her smoothly, opening the paper. His eyes skimmed the paper, then he glanced up at her. “You really aren't kidding. Unless you forged this—”

“James!” she cried out in frustration. “I'm a week late! I'm pregnant!”

He did some quick math and realized that she was late… But that meant…

“I went to my doctor, and he confirmed it.”

“Muggle doctors are quacks,” he said automatically.

“They've done right by me, so I'm sticking with them,” she said, tipping up her chin. “You believe me now?”

James smiled, stalking towards her. She froze.

“I believe you.”

“Don't you take another step, James Potter, we've got your parents sleeping two doors down from us!”

He forced her to lie down, kissing her silk-clad tummy. “They're expecting it.”

“It's gross! You're perverted!”

“Just because they decide to visit from the Lake District does not mean I have to give up my marital rights,” he pouted, tracing her body lightly. “You feel ok, Lils?”

“I should be asking you that, because believe it or not, you're my own personal servant for the next nine months, Jamesie.”

He sighed resignedly. “I figured as much. And you won't be satisfied with a House Elf?”

“House Elves are slaves to the impossibly high standards of wizards and witches and I will not be a supporter of that cruel prac—”

She was silenced by his lips. He shouldn't have asked, but he loved to see her get riled up. It was damn sexy.

“We're naming him Harry,” James muttered against her lips.

“How are you so sure we're having a boy?” Lily asked sharply. “Are you a Seer now along with a pervert?”

“I put in a special request with my sperm and slept with warm boxers.”

“I hope we get a girl, because it would serve you right to—”

“We'll have a girl next, I intend for Harry to help me shoot any blokes that might try to—”

“You are impossible!”

“But you love me, right?” he asked quietly, kneading her breasts and pushing his knee between her thighs.

“Yes, I do love you,” she sighed, closing her eyes. “Well get it over with. God knows I won't be able to look at your mother tomorrow morning.”

James laughed. “You'll be wishing I never stop in a few minutes.”

“I know. You always seem to have that effect on me.”

“Ditto.”

“James?”

“Yes?”

“Harry is a good name. I like it.”

“Me too.”

“James?”

“Hmm?”

“I'm glad we had that conversation in London last June. I wouldn't want to be anywhere than where I am right now.”

James nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly. He was too, but for a different reason. That conversation had been the difference between happiness with Lily or letting her go. In hindsight, he would never have been able to do it, so luckily for him, Lily was thinking along the same road as him.

Then again, she'd always seemed to fit perfectly, hadn't she?

*~*~*_The End_*~*~*

A/N: I have insomnia. This is the result of that. I think that I can go sleep now. This story had absolutely no point, but humor me by reviewing? Should I stick to meaningful writing? I'd love to hear from my old timers.

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2. The Morning After

Reason Why I'm Back: I'm an eager to please twit who liked the idea one of my reviewers gave me. So this is dedicated to Property of James Potter. If it sucks, don't blame it on her. On the bright side, at least I can spell :- D.

Warning: I won't turn this into a real fic. It's a two-shot. If that even makes sense. Call it the sequel one-shot to the one-shot if you please.

*~*~*The Morning After*~*~*

“Good morning, Lily,” said the elder Mrs. Potter as she walked into the brightly lit kitchen. “Would you like me to make you some porridge?”

“I can't hold much down today, actually,” Lily moaned, sipping carefully at her juice.

“Not feeling good?”

“I feel more like shit than anything else right now.”

“Ah. When are you due?”

“Late July, early August I believe.”

“My sympathies. If the pregnancy is anything like the one I had with James, you're going to want to murder your husband by the end of this.”

“That's comforting.”

“I don't believe I liked Christopher for at least five months after the birth. “

Lily smiled, but said nothing as a wave of nausea passed over her. “I'm considering skipping work today.”

“You know, you wouldn't be in this predicament if you and James didn't go at it like rabbits,” Cecelia informed her smoothly, supervising her eggs as they cracked themselves and fell into a pan.

Lily choked on her juice and set the cup down. “I, um, er… I'm sorry if we bothered you last, er, night.”

“And this morning,” Cecelia added, chortling. “No worries. I wasn't sleeping anyway. I remember when Christopher and I were newlyweds. Why, we could barely even make it to the bedroom!”

Lily shut her eyes, trying not to picture anything. “Cecelia, I love you dearly, but that's really too much information.”

“Yes, I do suppose it is. Not to toot my own horn, but I did produce one nice male specimen, didn't I?”

“In my opinion, yes. I'm there are those who would disagree.”

“I haven't met one yet. You've royally messed things up in that sphere. You're going to have harpies all over him,” Cecelia frowned, taking a bite of her toast. “Especially when he's older. They get better with age,” she added in a confident whisper.

Lily felt nauseous again, but it wasn't attributed to her new “condition”, as James had termed it this morning. Right after he'd made wild, passionate love to her—on the bathroom counter, no less!—and decided they'd have to be careful while she was in her “condition” as to “not hurt” herself “or the baby”.

“I remember this one tramp who went as far as to sneak into our house, into Christopher's study and meet him there wearing nothing but her bunny slippers! Needless to say, she got quite a tongue lash from me—”

“Cecelia,” Lily begged, looking at her pleadingly, “I really don't need to know any of this. I'm getting unwanted images in my head.”

The elder Mrs. Potter smiled and turned to get her eggs. “You can only imagine the things running through my head last night when you were screaming like—”

“I get it!” Lily shrieked, standing and heading out of the room. “I'm sorry! I promise never to do that under the same roof as you again!”

“What about that time in the Highlands last year? Rabbit-like actions then too!” Cecelia yelled after her, laughing. She thoroughly enjoyed ruffling her new daughter-in-law. She loved her to pieces, and liked that Lily was still embarrassed about something so natural. She shrugged and sipped her tea. “Figures my son would marry a prude.”

James popped into the kitchen and kissed his mum on the cheek. “Lily, a prude? What makes you say that?”

“You deny it?” Cecelia asked with raised brow.

James took the rest of the toast from her hand and swallowed it in one bite. “Sure,” he said around his full mouth. “She's so kinky, it's delicious. Got to run, Dad said something about you two leaving tonight?”

“Yes, our vacation here has ended. Now that Lily's pregnant, I'll no doubt be returning somewhere in her third trimester. I think you'll begin to loathe my presence if I remain here now. Be good to her, dear.”

James grinned boyishly. “I am.”

“Yes, I suspect that's why she's in her condition…”

*~*~*

“It was humiliating,” Lily snapped. “I told you they'd hear.”

“She wasn't upset.”

“That's the worse part!”

“…She mentioned her newlywed days, didn't she?”

“Yes!”

James nodded sympathetically. “Yeah, that always got me a bit. But my parents have always been lovesick puppies for each other. So, while disturbing at times, I'm used to it.”

Lily smiled. “I could say the same for you, James.”

“Yes, well, you're a goddess and perfect. How else do you want me to think of you?”

“Oh, your mother has taught you well. Very well indeed.”

“What do you mean?”

Lily grinned, but shook her head, and he accepted defeat. There were times when even Lily Potter couldn't be persuaded.

Lily mentally chuckled as she considered the conspiracy the women of the world were waging against the men. In three decades, women would be not equal to men, but higher, more powerful. It'd begun years ago, in Christopher's generation. And by the time Harry Potter was thirty, women would rule the world!!

*~*~*The End*~*~*

A/N: I believe I messed it up. But that's ok. I thought it was a bit cute. A very embarrassing conversation I'll no doubt hold one day with my own mother-in-law. Things like that always seem to happen to me… Besides, I can see it fit it with the personality of the type of husband I want. So, I took that from a deep, personal fear. Pray for me? Better yet, review for me? Heh heh. I know. I'm bad.

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