The Magic of Dental Floss

SlaptheWhiteFerret

Rating: PG13
Genres: Romance, Humor
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 4
Published: 15/07/2005
Last Updated: 15/07/2005
Status: completed

When Harry finds something in his dorm room, it will change his life as he knows it. One shot, also has R/L. Read and Review.

Chapters

1. How it Happened

1. How it Happened

Disclaimer: Anything you recognize does not belong to me. Harry Potter and Co. are all the work of the wonderful JK Rowling.

It was an average sort of day for the 7th year boys of Gryffindor. Average, albeit annoying, bothersome, and a down right waste of time. In other words, oh yes, it was cleaning day. Now we all know how men HATE to clean, and avoid it as if it was Voldemort himself, but there is a point when a room goes from being messy to becoming a toxic waste dump. In the case of the dormitory that housed the 7th year male Gryffindors, it was the latter.

Everyone else had finished up except for Ron and Harry, and with a little luck, they would be done in a few minutes. Harry bent down in the space between his bed and Ron's to make sure the area was clean when he found, the thing. He pulled it out from underneath the nightstand and carefully examined it not knowing exactly what is was. It was turquoise blue with two triangles of cloth attached to each other via two strings. `Well, it looks like dental floss.' He gingerly lifted the scrap of cloth to his nose and sniffed. `Doesn't really smell like dental floss though. Maybe it's a new kind! Hermione's parents would be happy. They're dentists. I remember 4th year they sent me a box of sugar-free snacks. Well, I might as well give it a try.'

Harry raised the “dental floss” to his mouth, opened wide, and-“HARRY! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH LUNA'S THONG!” Ron yelled, his ears and face so red he looked like he had eaten 100 pepper imps all at the same time. Harry immediately dropped the undergarment as if it had burned him.

“THAT'S A THONG?” He asked incredously. Harry had of course heard of these infamous articles of lingerie, but this was a first to actually see one.

“Of course it is you nitwit, what else would it be?” Ron chastised.

“Well uhh…” and then it dawned on Harry. “Well, why do you have Luna's thong?” He asked slyly.

“Uhh…uhhh.” Ron stuttered, and then mumbled something.

“Sorry, I couldn't quite hear that, could you repeat it for me?” Harry asked, a monster grin on his sneaky face.”

Again Ron muttered something totally inaudible. “What did you say?” Harry pestered.

“I'VE BEEN SHAGGING HER SINCE OCTOBER!” Ron shouted, and then clapped a hand over his mouth as if he had just realized what he had said.

“Hmmm, October, November, December, January, February, March, April, May. Well mate, that's almost eight months. Congratulations. It's good to see that someone finally got their priorities straight.”

Ron removed his hand. “You mean you're not upset?”

“Upset? Why would I be upset about you hooking up with Luna?” Harry said looking confused.

“I thought you fancied her, mate. I was absolutely sure of it, and I didn't want to hurt you, so I kept it a secret.”

“Naw, I never fancied Luna. She and I just related well over things. There was never any real chemistry for anything more than friendship. I'm truly happy for you Ron. Now I can ask Hermione out without feeling super guilty.”

“Yeah, that's right.” Ron replied without really hearing what Harry had said. “Wait, what?” Now it was Harry's turn to be embarrassed.

“I, erm, fancy Hermione, and she fancies me, but we both thought that you fancied her, so we laid off of it so we wouldn't ruin our friendship.” Harry explained. “We didn't want to hurt your feelings, so we held ours back.”

“Do you lot have shit for brains? I haven't fancied Hermione since the beginning of this year. Mind you, I did like her from second year to then, but still.” Ron laughed. This whole scenario seemed like a dream to both him and Harry. A really great dream except for the whole cleaning thing.

Suddenly Harry leapt up from the ground. “I've go to go tell `Mione the good news.” He yelled over his shoulder as he sprinted out of the dormitory. Ron waited a few minutes to make sure everyone was gone, and then grabbed the thong and crouched down between the beds where Harry had found it.

“Luna.” He called softly. “Here's your thong. You can come out now.”

“Okay.” She replied softly, and one very mussed up Luna Lovegood crawled out from underneath Ron Weasley's bed.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hermione Jane Granger was walking to the library when she heard Harry calling her name. She spun around, catching her foot in the carpet and gracefully crumpling to the floor, dropping all 10 books she had been carrying. “Oh bollocks.” She grumbled, bending down to retrieve her belongings. Why was she such a klutz around Harry Potter, her dream boyfriend? If only that Ronald Weasley could get his priorities straight. Knowing Ron, that could take decades.

Harry slowed down as he neared Hermione. There was something peeking out above her skirt. It was oddly familiar. Dear god, it was a hot pink thong. Who knew Hermione wore such sexy lingerie? “Ummm, `Mione?” Harry asked timidly.

Hermione swiveled. “Yes Harry, what is it?”
“Your,” Harry had no problem thinking about thongs, but when it came time to actually say “thong” to his best friend, not to mention future girlfriend, things got…weird. “Your…dental floss is showing.” There, he had implied it, but `Mione only looked puzzled.

“My dental floss? Where, in my teeth? That's not possible, I only floss twice a day after lunch and after dinner. We just finished breakfast!” For once, Hermione Granger didn't understand something.

“No Hermione, your dental floss.” Harry gestured with his hands, and cringed with embarrassment.

“No Harry, you're confused, I haven't flossed-” Suddenly it dawned on Hermione. Her mouth formed a large OH. “My…” Harry nodded, and Hermione blushed prettily. “Hold on a second.” Forgetting all about her precious books, Hermione went behind the nearest statue, which happened to be of a man who thought himself very modern. Hermione looked both ways before adjusting her skirt as discreetly as possible, but evidently not discreetly enough.

“IS THAT ONE OF THEM THONGS I KEEP HEARING ABOUT?” the statue boomed. Hermione cringed. “IS THAT THE HEAD GIRL WEARING A-“

He was cut off by a jab of a wand and a muttered, “Silencio.”

Hermione peeked out from behind the now silent statue. “Thanks Harry.”

“Yeah, sure, no problem.” Harry replied, his eyes seeing something far away in the future that no common person could see.

“Harry, snap out of it!” Hermione waved her hand in his face.

“What, wait, oh!” realization dawned on Harry's face, and a smile settled upon his utterly kissable lips.

“What just happened? It was like you were somewhere else.” Hermione asked with a note of panic in her voice.

“Nothing bad happened, if that's what you think. Something good actually. I Saw something.”

“Oh, and what did you see?” Hermione asked with a smile.

“That's for me to know and you to find out.” Harry said with a grin as he pulled Hermione towards him, sealing his words with a soft kiss. And as their lips met, Hermione Saw flashes of Harry's vision. Harry in a black tux waiting for her at the altar. A hospital room full of Weasleys and a mediwitch handing her two bundles of joy. A hint of unruly black hair peeking out from pink bundle and a bit of brown curls from the blue bundle. Twin 6 year olds playing quidditch with their father while their pregnant mother looked on proudly. She Saw herself growing old with Harry and watching various grandchildren go off to Hogwarts. Harry absentmindedly tucked a piece of stray hair behind her ear. Hermione opened her brown eyes and allowed them to meet two green ones, and at that moment she knew. She knew that she was in love.

A/N: So there you go, the awful product of a midnight plot bunny. I got the idea from real life happenings. Sorry to Liv, Danielle, and Juju that we had to see that lady at the taco place. Gack! I'm going to camp tomorrow and the best gift I could get is 20 reviews from my great readers! *hint hint*

XOXO,

SlaptheWhiteFerret

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