Where We Are Now

plumgirl

Rating: PG
Genres: Romance, Humor
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 6
Published: 20/07/2005
Last Updated: 20/07/2005
Status: completed

Hermione looks back and talks about the various changes in her life and how she came to the point where she is now. HBP Spoilers! HHr, mentions, RH and HG

Chapters

1. Where We Are Now

1. Where We Are Now

I know a lot of us are still recovering from the shock after reading HBP. I know I was. But I still and a firm HHr shipper and I still believe there is hope for it to be canon by the 7th book… So hang in there! It helps to read the stories here at Portkey because it comforts and reassures me… We have A LOT of talented writers hear at Portkey… I’m not one, but I would like to contribute this piece to comfort and console us HHr shippers…

Where We Are Now

Summary: Hermione looks back and talks about the various changes in her life and how she came to the point where she is now. HBP Spoilers! HHr, mentions, RH and HG

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, the lovely Ms Rowling does…

*Hermione’s POV*

It’s been three years since Voldemort’s demise. Harry managed to find all the horcruxes and then defeat him once and for all. Ron and I were there with him. Well, we tried to be there.

Every step of the way.

But he tried to push us away at times. After our 6th year ended, we set out to find and destroy all the horcruxes. During those times, we’d all end up in very dangerous situations and occasionally at the brink of death.

One time, while destroying one, Ron was knocked unconscious. He was in a comatose state for two weeks. Harry almost broke down because of it. Well actually, he did break down.

“Harry, what are you doing?” I coolly asked, crossing my arms in front of my bathrobe.

Harry froze and turned away from the door.

It was past 1AM and I couldn’t sleep, when I heard the noise. It was Harry. He had his knapsack with him and was at the door. He was trying to leave us behind.

Harry looked at me with such a determined expression. “You know what I’m doing.”

“No, I don’t think you do.” I said, glaring at him. He just glared back at me. We stood like that for a long time.

Finally, I let out a sigh. I retrieved my wand from the pocket of my bathrobe and summon my knapsack.

My knapsack came zipping to me from one of the bedrooms. I went to the coffee table to retrieve the book I’d been reading about Defensive spells, shrunk it and put it in the knapsack. I zipped it up and walked towards Harry, to the door.

His eyes grew wider as I walk towards him. I just ignored his glance and opened the door. I had taken only two steps when I was strongly pulled back by his arm.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he asked me. He looked notably upset.

I shook off his arm and started walking outside into the forest away from the Unplottable cottage we have been hiding in.

“Hermione!”

I ignored him and kept walking. Finally he ran to stop me from going any further.

“What do you think your doing?!” he angrily asked me, grabbing my arm once more.

I glared at him and shook off his arm and continued to walk. He let out a frustrated groan and grabbed me again.

“Hermione!”

“We have to alert the Order.” I said briskly.

“What?” he asked, looking confused.

“We have to tell them about Ron and the condition he’s in. Fortunately the cottage is Unplottable so he’ll be safe, but we need an Order member to be there with him when he gets better.” I said as I brushed off his arm and started to walk again.

Harry swore then grabbed me again. “You can’t go!”

“Why not?”

“Because I have to do this alone!”

“Harry, we’ve been with you this whole time. We’ve been through a lot of dangerous situations together and I’m not going to leave you now! Ron, unfortunately, is in a state where he can’t follow us, but we can contact him once he’s better and then he can join us.”

“No!” he said furiously, “I’m not going to let you do this! I can’t take this anymore! Go back to the cottage!”

“No” I firmly said, standing my ground.

“Hermione,” he said slowly and menacingly,” Get back in that cottage now or I will do it by force.”

“Fine” I said calmly, as I whipped out my wand, “Try me.”

“Hermione!”

“We made it this far together. I know you feel guilty for what happened to Ron, but it’s not you’re fault. He knew the risks. We both knew the risks, Harry.”

“But Hermione-“

“And if you think that you’re just going to leave us behind now, you’re wrong.” I continued, “If you think you’re doing the right thing, the noble thing, you’re very wrong.”

Harry looked offended and ready to retort when I cut him off.

“What you’re doing is selfish.” I said, “I know the prophecy proclaims, you’ll be the one to finish him off. Fine! But that doesn’t mean Ron and I couldn’t help you along the way.”

“But-“

“Yes, we are more in danger because of our friendship with you, Harry, but we would be in danger nevertheless.” I continued, “Ron and his family are considered to be blood traitors and I am a filthy Mudblood. They would come after us regardless of our friendship with you.”

“But-“

“And it’s not just your battle, Harry, it’s Ron’s and mine’s as well.” I continued angrily. “You think for one second that we would stand by and let that evil creature murder innocent people?! No! It’s not just your battle, Harry! And if you think you’re going to take the chance away from us to fight, well, you’re being bloody selfish!”

I furiously tried to blink back the tears as I held a tighter grip on my wand. Harry looked at me, so sad and defeated. “I don’t want to lose you guys.” He quietly said.

Tears formed in his eyes. “I don’t know what I would have done if Ron hadn’t made it. And then I think what I would do if I lost you and…” Tears started trailing down his cheeks, as Harry started to cry.

I hugged him tightly and started to cry as well. After his sobs had quieted down, I rubbed his back and quietly told him not to push us away.

He doesn’t have to be alone. We all don’t have to fight alone. We’re stronger when we’re together.

I held his hand tightly and led him back to the cottage.

“Come on Harry. Ron might be worried.”

We walked back to the cottage still holding hands.

A month later after that incident, we found the sixth Horcrux and destroyed it. Another month after that, Voldemort was gone forever.

There was finally peace in the Wizarding community. There had been devastating losses, but we all made it through. Things gradually became as it was before Voldemort’s return. Many of the shops in Hogsmeade were rebuilt and reopened. Other Wizarding districts in London were being rebuilt and flourishing. And Hogwarts was reopened once more.

Since Harry, Ron and I didn’t finish our seventh year at Hogwarts and take our NEWTs, we eagerly went back to school. Well, Harry and I did, but Ron was reluctant, but after a series of long lectures from both his mother and me, he decided to go back as well. Things were fine at Hogwarts for awhile, but Harry and Ron realized they needed to get out into the world. Hogwarts had been our home, but we weren’t children anymore.

Harry stayed to take his NEWTs so he could qualify into Auror training, which was pointless, because the Ministry was willing to let him enter the training program without taking his NEWTs. After all, he did defeat the most feared Dark Lord of all time.

Ron stayed (at his mother’s great insistence) to take the NEWTs, but Ron already got an offer from the Chudley Canons to be their new Keeper.

I naturally stayed because the NEWTs are very important. After all, they determine the rest of your life.

Maybe that’s a bit over dramatic.

I think I knew deep down that they really didn’t matter. I think getting rid of the greatest Dark Lord of all time, kept things in perspective. Nevertheless, I took them and passed them.

Harry was accepted into the Auror Training program and is now in his second year of training. He could have bypassed the three years of training with his extensive résumé and his Order of Merlin First Class, but Harry was never one to take things the easy way.

Ron is in his second year of playing with the Chudley Canons. He is doing quite well. Last year, they made it to the finals, but lost. I’m sure they’ll get the Cup this year.

I didn’t know what field to go into and with my rather excellent NEWT scores; I was able to go into to almost any field. Finally, I decided to work for the Ministry of Magic in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. Being a firm believer in House Elves rights as well as the rights of other magical beings, I decided to go into that field to help eradicate the old prejudices and discriminations against them.

I’m also trying to reestablish S.P.E.W, but there hasn’t been much progress yet. Thankfully Dobby is the spokesperson for the committee and is working hard to promote S.P.E.W.

Since Harry and both work in the Ministry, we run into each other occasionally and meet up for lunch. With Ron, we see him less often because he is usually away in tournament matches. But we do try to meet up at least once a week and catch up.

***

I think we’ve grown up so much these past few years. I see them less that I did when we were younger at Hogwarts, but we are much closer. More communicative and more relaxed around each other. And our relationships with one another have changed and evolved.

Ron and I did ‘date’ for awhile, if you call going on missions with Harry to find Horcruxes and occasionally snogging me in between, dating. I know I love Ron and he loves me, but I think our love has changed. Evolved.

I remember Ron being so jealous when I went to the Yule Ball with Viktor and me being jealous when Ron dated Lavender in our 6th year. I tried to get back at him with MaCraggen fellow, but that blew up in my face. We were both acting so petty and jealous rather than admitting our feelings. It was nice that we finally did get together, a year later. He was a wonderful boyfriend, always making tense situations light with a comment and occasionally saying something sweet and tender to me, while blushing like a ripe tomato. He was adorable.

It was a bit sad when we ended things, but we both knew our love wasn’t deeper than a very close friendship. We were opposites. That’s one on the reasons why we were attracted to each other. I guess you can say sexual tension? (I sort of cringe at the thought now).

We were too different together as a couple. We were much better off as friends. Besides he couldn’t get along with Crookshanks and Crookshanks wasn’t too fond of him either. In fact, a good deal of our fights revolved around him mistreating Crookshanks. (I’d be sitting on the couch, with Crookshanks in my lap, and Ron would come and try to nudge him off so he can steal a snog. Of course Crookshanks wouldn’t budge and they’d fight. It was a bit annoying).

I think now Ron and I are closer than ever, as best friends. Of course we bicker and fight occasionally, but now it’s more like how brothers and sisters would fight. Especially when that prat picks on Crookshanks.

Harry and Ron have always and always will be best mates. They do have there share of squabbles, but they’re like brothers.

Harry used to be so insecure with his friendship with Ron. I mean, there was the whole incident in 4th with the Triwizard Tournament, when Ron got a bit jealous of Harry and they fought. I’m sure there were also moments when Harry questioned their friendship, afraid that his destiny with Voldemort would scare Ron away. Or in 6th year when Harry started liking Ginny, but was too afraid to make a move because he thought Ron might stop being his friend. That dolt. Ron would never leave him.

Neither would I.

With Harry and me, our relationship has changed a lot.

We started as annoying peers, to friends, to best friends, to soul mates and to lovers. He first saw me as a brainy, bushy-haired know-it-all and I saw him as the brash, skinny boy with the annoying red-headed friend. And by destiny and an unfortunate troll, our paths intertwined forever.

I’ll admit I never really saw Harry as nothing more than a friend until after our 6th year, when all three of us left to find the remaining Horcruxes. Up until then he was just a skinny boy with a horrible past, but kind, brave heart, who had a people-saving complex. After Dumbledore died and he broke up with Ginny, I saw how strong he was and how brave and selfless he was trying to be. He wasn’t the skinny boy anymore, he was a young man.

He was a young man who had the weight of the world on his shoulders. He pushed Ginny away and tried to push us away because he didn’t want anyone to carry the burden with him. Ginny knew what he was doing, but she didn’t hold onto him. She didn’t fight for him. She let go.

But I held on.

Harry resisted, but eventually caved in. He needed reassurance and love. Once in awhile, after a rather terrible mission to find a Horcrux or a heavy battle with Deatheaters, Harry would get scared and tried to leave us. He’d forget the fact we made the choice to be there and he’d forget the fact that there was no way in hell we would ever abandon him or let him abandon us.

Every time he forgot, I was there to remind him, to reassure him, to fight for him and hold onto him. I never let go and I never would.

After, Voldemort was gone and things settled down, we all tried to get back to our normal routines. But it didn’t seem right.

Ron was restless and we both wanted different things in life. He wanted Quidditch and I didn’t.

Harry tried to make things work again with Ginny as he went back to being a student at Hogwarts, but things weren’t the same for him. Hogwarts didn’t feel like home to him as it used to and although he cared for Ginny deeply, he felt he held too many scars and secrets from the war that he wasn’t willing to share with her.

Ron was able to readjust to life after the war, but it took Harry and me much more time. Ron’s family fortunately made it through the war. My parents didn’t. And Harry, he’d lost so many close to him even before the war had started. Ron had a home, but Harry and I didn’t.

After we graduated and Ron left to play for the Canons, I remember feeling so scared. Ron was gone, and Harry would be gone with his Auror training. And I would be alone.

Then one day, a week after we graduated and Ron left, Harry came to me one day and asked me to live with him.

“I don’t mean that way!” Harry said blushing furiously, “I mean I have a flat and a spare room and you need a place to live.”

“I mean, I’ll be busy most of the time with Auror training, so I won’t be around all the time. You’ll have privacy” he rambled, “and I don’t mind Crookshanks at all. You know I adore him. And Hedwig gets along fine with Crookshanks, but if they don’t I can put Hedwig in her cage and-“

“Harry!” I said, chuckling and interrupting him, “I’ll move in with you.”

“Really?” he said with a hopeful look on his face that made him look so innocent and boyish.

“Really.” I said, smiling.

I don’t know the exact moment when things changed.

It happened gradually.

We’d eat breakfast, dinner and occasionally lunch together, when he wasn’t on training missions or when I wasn’t away at conventions. We’d go shopping together with me dragging him from the Quidditch shops and him dragging me from the bookstores. Rarely, but not often we’d cook (well I’d help) and we’d make a mess (well I would anyways). We’d sometimes take walks together and just talk. Occasionally we’d spend the night on the couch, talking about our fears, memories, or nightmares we had from the war and reassure and comfort one another. We’d give each other smiles and hugs and pecks on the cheek.

Then slowly things changed. We’d spend more time together. We held hands more often.

Our smiles changed.

Our hugs changed.

The way we looked at each other changed.

What once was an affectionate look exchanged between friends, became a compassionate gaze between lovers.

We started spending nights on the couch together not just to talk about our problems and worries, but to talk of our futures, hopes and dreams. Sometimes we wouldn’t even talk. We would just snuggle on the couch, by the fire, together and fall asleep. Then one day, our kisses on the cheek became kisses on the lips.

We were in love.

Being so insecure at times, Harry was worried about what Ron would think and felt undeserving of me, so he tried to push me away. He’d avoid spending time with me and tried to distance himself from me.

I was hurt at first, but I knew what he was doing.

“Harry, we need to talk.” I said, crossing my arms and standing by the front door of our flat.

“I can’t I have training today.” He said, not looking at me. He moved to open the door. I blocked him.

“Hermione! I’ll be late!” he protested. “We’ll talk later.”

“When?” I asked, “Tonight then?”

“Maybe.” He replied, evasively. He moved again to open the door and walked out.

“I know what you’re doing.” I said quietly, “and it won’t work.”

That stopped him.

“You may have pushed people away in the past, but you’re not pushing me away.” I said, “I‘ve been there with you every step of the way until now. I won’t let you stop me now.”

“I know you’re scared and worried, but you’re not going achieve anything good by pushing me away,” I continued, “It’s better that we work together. Like we always did.”

“I’ve done this too many times, Harry. Don’t think you’ll get rid of me. I know you too well” I continued, “Stop trying to be alone! We’ve been happy these past few months living together and you know it! I’m not letting you go. You may want to throw us away, but I won’t.”

“You’re my home, Harry.” I said as I closed the door to his back, “Don’t let me go.”

***

I was sitting on the couch, waiting, when he came home that night. I watched as he came over and kneeled in front of me. He didn’t say anything, but I knew he was sorry. We hugged each other for a long time and he softly whispered into my ear, “You’re my home too.”

After that incident, things between us got better and our relationship flourished. Ron was supportive of our relationship, which made Harry feel really foolish for his previous insecurities. I only teased him once about it.

Everyone else seemed to be happy with our relationship as well. No one was really surprised. ‘Come on it’s sooo obvious!’ they’d say.

And Crookshanks got along with Harry. Unlike Ron, Harry knew Crookshanks liked to have his shared of Hermione time (he knew he did), so Harry never interrupted our moments together.

He’d never nudge Crookshanks off my lap to snog me; he’d just cuddle up next to me and scratch Crookshanks’ behind his ears.

I think Crookshanks really liked that about Harry. Although he seemed a bit peeved for awhile at having to share my bed with Harry, but only because he often had to leave the bedroom and sleep on the couch because of our…um… nighttime activities.

Eventually, Crookshanks permanently settled on the couch at night to sleep because of our…disruptions.

People (notably Ron’s mother) have been asking us when we’ll get married. Harry nearly choked on his stew when Molly asked us for the first time.

I don’t think we’ll get married anytime soon, perhaps in a few years. We really don’t think it’s necessary. We know how we feel about each other and we like where we are now. Besides, I’ll wait until he asks me.

However long that may be. I’m patient. Until I’m 30.

Shotgun wedding or no shotgun wedding, I will be married by then.

The End.

***

Constructive Criticism is always appreciated I know this story was kind of dull and slow paced. ><;;;!