Toe The Line by Ellie_Parker

Rating: R
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 6
Published: 24/07/2005
Last Updated: 25/07/2005
Status: Paused

Harry and Hermione find a mini-solace. A bit of smut, post HBP.




1. untitled
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AN: Fuck canon if JK would write it like she wrote Harry/Ginny anyway. :) The books still rock,
JK is still an awesome gal, I still love Harry/Hermione. There's too many pairings out there
that are so non-canon it's ridiculous. They can handle it. They like what they like.

And we love Harry and Hermione. That's all that matters. So lets not quit writing -- lets
embrace the challenge we've been handed. Let's not give up because of something as silly as
JK writing what she had planned the entire time, let's not give up because a few Ron/Hermione
shippers got their way and gloated. We'd have done the same.

It's time to prove our loyalty to the ship we've all gotten so much out of and made so
many amazing friends from. Cause you guys rock. So fucking hard.

And the song this is based on is Fuck Forever by Babyshambles. Hope you guys enjoy. A bit of
smut. 'Tis necessary in harder times.
**Toe The Line**
*by Ellie*
*How d'you choose between death and glory...
How d'you choose between death and glory?
Happy endings don't bore me
Happy endings, they never bored me...
But they, they have a way
They have a way to make you pay
And to make you toe the line.*

"Somehow you don't shock me anymore," Hermione muttered, as they walked across the
empty lawn outside of the Burrow.

She wrapped her arms around herself, she was clad only in pajamas and it wasn't a warm
night. She hadn't really remembered a warm night for a while... maybe it was all the death and
destruction, but even if it was the hottest day of her life, it seemed like it would still feel
like this. Dark and desperate for a bit of light.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked quietly. They were walking slowly, and he stopped
suddenly, and said "Here's good."

They sat down on the grass now wet with dew. Hermione looked over at him, watching him look up
at the sky, his eyes not really on anything in particular -- just... looking.

"If you'd woken me up at two in the morning for a walk a couple years ago, I would be
surprised."

She sighed, and started picking at the grass.

He still stared up. "I don't understand..."

She kept picking at the ground, refusing to look at him for the time being. "You just...
god, Harry. You go through these moments where you seem to stop talking to me. Like I'm not...
necessary, I suppose. I used to think that wasn't possible."

She felt her eyes water up, but didn't let him see. She knew that if she kept looking at the
ground, her face would be shadowed. She refused to let him see her break down anymore.

The pause felt too long for her.

She just heard him breathe, and she knew he knew he'd done it. That he'd thought about
it. That not talking to her wasn't just a figment of her imagination.

She pretended like the tear that fell was just her imagination, it didn't make a difference
when it landed on the already wet grass.

"I..." He paused again, and she heard him inhale sharply. "That's why I woke
you up. We don't really get a chance to be just us anymore, do we?"

She finally looked up at him, and saw him staring right back at her. She bit her lip, and was
glad that he continued, because she knew that if she opened her mouth to say something, her voice
would break.

"With everything going on... during the day, it's just hunt, hunt, hunt -- we have a
job. Not that we don't have one right now, but there's no time anymore to just talk --
it's all about the end... right?"

He stared at her the entire time he said this, pleading with her to understand. It wasn't
about her, it wasn't about him. It was about the bigger problem, the one that was
unavoidable.

"I didn't mean for this to happen," he finished.

It was the biggest apology she would get from him.

"I'm sorry," she said. "That I'm taking it so personally, it's
selfish, it's--"

"No, it's not," he said quickly, cutting her off. "It's really not, I owe
you so much and I've done a shitty job of showing it."

He smiled wearily, and found her hand in the dark.

"I'll always have your back," she said quietly. "You know that,
right?"

He paused for a moment, and then squeezed her hand. "Yeah... yeah." He paused again.
"That's why I owe you so much. You haven't given up on me, a lot of people
have."

That's when his voice broke.

She quickly scooted closer to him, her pajamas wet but she really didn't mind, she just
needed to hug him.

She wrapped her arms around him, and rested her head on his shoulder. It was comforting, having
him so close. She worried so much about Harry lately that it was almost unbearable to not have him
in the same room as her.

She felt his arm curl around her, and hold her tighter, and he let his head rest on top of
hers.

"It's not going to be any easier than tonight," he said in a small voice. "I
don't know if we'll have any more opportunities to just sit out here. I'm not even sure
how safe it is, right now."

She breathed in, smelling grass and that significant scent of Harry. She never knew what it was,
it was more like dirt... something very earthy.

"I know," she said, her voice muffled a bit.

There was another pause. "Hermione?"

"Hmm?"

He took another deep breath. "This... er... just in case we never get this chance
again," and she felt his hand pull up her chin, and before she could register what he was
going to do, his lips were on hers.

She didn't know quite what was happening. Harry was kissing her right now, and she
couldn't respond.

He pressed harder against her, urging her to do something -- anything -- to not disregard this.
He knew they both needed it.

And she decided to just let go of every fear she had, and pressed back. The night was still
cold, but she was quickly warming up... she breathed in deep through her nose, and opened her mouth
to him.

His tongue shot inside, and suddenly the kiss became desperate, needy -- she sucked on his
tongue, and felt him let out a tiny moan, and her hands shot to his hair, pulling his head even
closer.

His hands were all over her back, her sides, anywhere he could possibly reach without
compromising this kiss.

She felt her face flush as he let her fall back onto the ground, and he quickly rolled on top of
her, pressing himself against her.

He moved from her mouth and trailed hot kisses to her neck, where he sucked and nipped and made
her breathing ragged, and she completely forgot about the cold.

He smiled against her skin, and let out a shaky breath as he felt her hands find their way under
his shirt and meandered up his stomach, she just had to feel him. She just had to touch
Harry...

He moved back to her mouth and gave her a chaste kiss before his hands went for her breasts, and
he suddenly stopped, frightened.

He stared at her, and she stared back. She gave the faintest smile, and he understood.

*Stop holding back.*

She reached up for another kiss as his hands grazed up her stomach, making her shiver and she
smiled into this kiss, which was slower than before.

He cupped her bare breasts, and she let out a small whimper. His fingers found her nipples and
gave them a small squeeze, and before she could do anything, her shirt was up and they were
replaced by his mouth.

*Hot... wet. Amazing.*

They were the only words that would register in her mind, as she'd never felt this before.
Just desperate for anything Harry, but he wasn't close enough for her, not nearly.

She pulled his head up for another kiss, and as he met her mouth, she quickly rolled him over
onto his back, and reached into his pajama bottoms, bypassing his briefs and softly grabbed what
she was looking for.

He let out a shaky moan, but she didn't break the kiss. Instead, she stroked him slowly, and
he bit her lip in annoyance and bliss -- and she loved having this power right now, loved knowing
that she could be his release.

And right now was his moment.

She slowly pulled the clothing that was in the way down, exposing him completely. He tried to
say something, but it didn't come out as words, more like hungry rambles. She knew she heard
the word "Please..." somewhere, but also knew he didn't expect it when she encircled
him with her mouth.

His hips bucked involuntarily against her, and he tried his best to control it.

She licked the tip of him and bit his lip trying not to grab her head or buck again, and when
she started to suck him lightly, he felt like he'd disappeared from the world.

"Hermione," he breathed, his voice raspy and dark and he knew he wouldn't last
long. A girl has never done this to him, and he never thought his first would be Hermione.

Never.

She kept licking and sucking, and then she looked up at him. As soon as his eyes met hers, he
knew he couldn't control it, he bucked again and he fell back onto the ground, panting as his
orgasm came over him.

She let go of him and pulled his pajamas up again, as they stared at eachother the entire
time.

"God, Hermione..." he whispered, "Come here," and he lazily pulled her face
towards him, and kissed her as much as he could, but he felt like he could sleep for ages.

She stared at his face as she pulled away. He was looking at her with this glazed sort of awe,
and she wondered vaguely if this was why he had woken her up and taken her outside. But the small
shock on his face told her otherwise. He just wanted her company.

He had no idea this would happen.

Then again, she didn't either.

He sat up and said, "Maybe we should go back in, it's cold." He didn't want to
say it, but it had to happen. Their lives had to go on.

"Yeah," she said again, not feeling cold at all.

She stood up first, and grabbed his hand to help him to his feet. They walked back in silence,
but as they got to the door, she paused.

"What now?" she asked, tentatively.

He looked at her. "I... I don't know."

"I guess that's the most reassurance you can offer these days," she said quickly,
feeling tears fill her eyes again.

He sighed. "I wish it was different." He looked at her face as she glanced down and
bit her lip, but he quickly leaned in and kissed her one last time. He pressed his lips gently to
hers, and then pulled away.

-------

The next morning, Harry woke up late for breakfast, but didn't go downstairs right away. He
hadn't slept in so long, and he remembered hazily what had happened the night before.

He let out a sigh, and sat up in George's old bed. His eyes darted to the desk, where there
was a small piece of parchment. He grabbed for it.

*Dear Harry,*

*When this is all over, I'd like to take a walk with you again. We both know why it
can't happen again for now.*

*Love,
Hermione*

He read it twice and swallowed hard. He knew it was coming.

Trying not to think about it, he dressed quickly and headed out of the room.

When he went downstairs and entered the noisy kitchen, he saw everyone standing around or
sitting and eating.

His eyes quickly found Ron and Hermione, engaged in a happy, joking conversation -- he felt his
stomach churn.

Suddenly Hermione's eyes shot up at him, and her grin faded into a small, sad smile. He
returned it.

And now he felt as if he had one more reason to live through this -- because all he wanted to do
right now, was ask her to go outside again.

*Oh I'm so clever
But I'm not very wise
Fuck forever,
If you don't mind --
I'm stuck forever,
Stuck in your mind.*



2. AN
-----

Although I hate when people have chapters that are author's notes, this one felt too
necessary.

I checked my email to many-a review from here at portkey, and over at ff.net.

I recieved my first R/Hr flame, which is this:


*"I think JKR said it best in her last interview with Mugglenet and The Leaky Cauldron that
Harry and Hermione shippers need to go back and re-read her Anvil size hints throughout her books
at there being a Ron and Hermione ship. Honestly, how could you be this delusional. Whatever, I
must admire your in-ability to admit defeat and have the intelligence to stop writing such Out Of
Canon fics. I love saying that, Out Of Canon. I've waited years to say that.

The real reason, I suspect, why you are a Harry / Hermione shipper is because of the fact that you
hate Ron. I was glad to read that Ron had grown up a good bit and did as well as Harry did on the
OWLS. Something that I have no doubt that unsettles your stomach.

As for your writing a little bit crude what with all the profanity, but not bad. Rather touching at
the beginning."*


So, I found this person's email, and replied with this:


*The thing is, is that I have accepted defeat in canon -- right after I read the interview on
TLC, I emailed Melissa and told her congratuations. 1.) for her ship, and 2.) because her and
Emerson did an amazing job. Truly amazing. I thought the interview was fantastic... a lot of
theories brought down, a lot of interesting answers, and a lot of new theories that can now be
discussed.

I wasn't too shocked that Harry and Hermione wouldn't be together in canon. Believe me --
I've seen the Ron/Hermione hints. Of course all of us have seen them, they were glaringly
obvious. But the reason I ship Harry/Hermione isn't because they're canon, or because
they've had hints -- I simply like them together.

Another pseudo-point you brought up is that you suspect I hate Ron? This is the only bit of
misinformation in the interview. I don't hate Ron at all, he's actually one of my favorite
characters... and if you didn't notice, at the end of my fic him and Hermione are laughing and
joking around. Being happy. If I hated him, they would have been fighting -- or Harry would have
killed him -- but, you know, that would be a silly thing to do.

Ron is definitely awesome. His character has grown up quite a bit, which was really fun to read,
despite what you think.

So I think it's quite delusional of you to read fics about a pairing that you seem to really
dislike (I can put up with Ron/Hermione, I will always prefer Harry/Hermione, though) and then make
assumptions that you're above us now -- but if you're in the mood to go bash any non-canon
pairing, why don't you check out some Snape/Hermione? Or perhaps, Sirius/Harry? Hagrid/Luna? (I
will now check and see if that one exists, because somehow that amuses me)

They're not canon. But they still like their ship, and they still write for it. I admire that,
and that is what our ship will be like in the future.

Next time you flame with assumptions about an entire ship -- when really, the ones that hate Ron
are very few, and the very angry, I'M GONNA KILL EMERSON!!!!1!! ones are even fewer -- just
stop. It's childish.

Still, though, I would like to congrat you on your pairing becoming truly canon -- because if it
somehow ended up Harry/Hermione, I would wish people like you would do the same.

-Ellie*


What does this mean?

Well, this was originally going to be a one-shot. Until I recieved this -- and I realised I had to
keep going. I've got quite a few more tricks up my sleeve. And I really, really can't wait
to fuck over the "WE ALL HATE RON!" theory. :)

So if you enjoy this story... then yes, there is more to come. A lot more. I'll be working out
the details for the story tonight, and hopefully start writing very very soon.

-Ellie