Hermione's Hologems by Feron Rating: R Genres: Romance, Humor Relationships: Harry & Hermione Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 6 Published: 27/07/2005 Last Updated: 27/07/2005 Status: In Progress AU# Summary: The act of Wizarding paparazzi including the wits of Rita Skeeter test the patience of Hermione Granger and Harry Potter. Are they a victim of another clichéd scandal?Some ref to book 6. Nothing major. 1. nonononono!! --------------- Title: Hermione’s Hologems **Summary: The act of Wizarding paparazzi including the wits of Rita Skeeter test the patience of Hermione Granger and Harry Potter. Are they a victim of another clichéd scandal?** **Disclaimer: I don’t own anything, the amazing crazy lady does.** Chapter 1 This all started with the Weasley twins’ new invention. It actually functions as a coded, portable miniature pensieve that was as small and light as a galleon. Harry and Hermione were two of the test subjects they used, and without further inquiries they helped them out. The only thing that never occurred to them was that *‘this’* might happen. The trio lived in a humble three-bedroom apartment in the Soho district of London. Since their stay at Hogwarts deprived them of living normal teenage lives, this was now the place and time to make up for that missed semblance of life. The bars, lounges and underground stores were enticing to them, especially for Ron who was keen on new fun muggle things, Harry for the live bands, and Hermione for her newly acquired interest in fashion. However, peace and quiet still eludes the trio. The upstairs apartment at Phoenix and Stacey is currently in the state of crisis. While no one actually knows about the budding relationship of Harry Potter and Hermione Granger, it seems that starting this morning everybody in the Wizarding World knows all about ‘it’ including the sordid details. And all this commotion began with the newly invented Hologems that somehow ended up in the wrong hands. The hands of a vengeful Miss Rita Skeeter. “How can she do this?” Hermione buried her face in her hands and sighed. Harry rubbed her back while trying to think of ways to retaliate. “I don’t know, but I guess it’s part of her misguided so-called revenge,” he answered solemnly while rubbing her back. He looked helplessly at Ron who was still reading the offending article. He was clenching his fists so hard that the paper was almost torn apart. “I don’t know what to tell you or what to even think at this point! You should’ve told me about this!” Ron said. Hermione was sobbing with her head resting on the table. “We can’t tell you anything as of yet, Ron, because we don’t even know what’s been happening between us,” Harry answered. Hermione had her indignant look at Ron’s outburst. “We don’t need permission from you, Ronald Weasley!” she said haughtily. Ron sighed and sat down on the other chair next to her. He put down the paper and looked at them seriously. “You know what? It doesn’t matter anymore. This,” he pointed at the Daily Prophet, “matters.” Hermione raised her head and looked at the front page of the paper. There were two pictures of Harry and Hermione, one of them kissing fervently against a wall inside a pub and one of them openly whispering to each other outside a Muggle cafe having brunch al fresco. She thanked silently the powers beyond that the papers had no audible sound on it. **Harry Potter’s Secret love Affair Exposed!** **By: Rita Skeeter** *The Boy-Who- Lived has been keeping secrets from the public again! It all started 4th year when the rumors between his and Miss Hermione Granger’s relationship were exposed. It is not as platonic as they usually tell the press and everybody else. The famous muggleborn has been after our Hero ever since that time of the Tri-Wizard tournament. As you can see on the pictures, her persistence paid off and is very elated by the look on her chubby face. My reliable source followed them one day from their apartment to Muggle London and found them hugging, cuddling, and kissing at certain points of their trip. The couple also had the audacity to grope each other while walking in public. I have also obtained new information from another reliable source that a new invention of the famous Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes have recorded some of their more passionate exploits! That will be made public within a few days. Turn to page 6 for more.* “How can they do this? How can they possibly obtain that information?! And Chubby! And we were not groping each other!” Hermione yelled in frustration. “Darling, you are definitely not chubby and I think I grabbed your cute arse that time.” Harry leaned in and kissed her cheek tenderly and earned himself a death glare. Ron looked from him and Hermione and sighed. “Harry, what’s in that Hologem?” Ron asked. He didn’t know why they were both so bothered by it. He never felt so confused and unwelcome since their stay at the apartment. He knew about their connection but also knew that they would tell him about “them.” Shock and disappointment overcame him when he saw the newspaper. He didn’t want to feel this way but lately it was always all about them. It was 4th year all over again. He shook himself mentally to forget about himself and focus on the issue at hand. Harry looked lost and angry at the same time. He was reigning in his temper, which was so hard at this situation. People could mock him and point at him while walking down the street or eating out but never, ever invade his residence and privacy. He was a private man whose future was now at the public’s hands. He never wanted this much attention but they can do anything and say anything to him but never, ever harm his friends and family. He wanted all of this to go away. He looked at his not-so-secret girlfriend for one week and offered her an encouraging smile. She looked at him with tears in her eyes and gave him a hesitant smile. Hermione was livid. She was in a fit but couldn’t do anything about it. There were no laws against the Wizarding paparazzi even if this situation called for it. No one can get in or out of the apartment without passing the wards made by Harry. It was impossible to leave alive if the security of the place was breached. Only owls and designated visitors were allowed. Hermione raised her head and looked at Ron who was waiting for an answer. She thought back a week before when they received the first shipment of the Hologems. Then she thought of something that happened three days ago while reading in the living room. A large barn owl made a mistake of delivering a letter addressed to a Humphelia Berry to her. That was the only time an intruder came into the apartment. “That’s it!” She stood up knocking her chair down to floor, startling her other two companions. “What? What!” Harry asked panicked. She looked at him and Ron then ran to the living room where all the other Hologems were located. They followed her wordlessly into the room where they could see her kneeling on the carpet and counting the Hologems scattered on top of the coffee table. “We’re missing two!” She raised her hand to her mouth with an alarmed expression. Realization dawned on Harry’s face when he finally understood on what was missing. “What do you mean were missing two?” Ron asked, noticing that Harry’s face was turning a bit green. His mouth was opening and closing opening and closing until he muttered repeatedly, “Ohmerlindearmerlinohmerlindearmerlingreatballsoffirebetchabygollywow...not good....definitely not good .....Hermione’s parents....Daily Prophet kill Rita!.....Weasleys....this is not happening....nonononono.” He continued on and fell ungracefully on top of the couch. Ron stood in front of them and waited for Hermione to explain further. “Well, we have ten of these exactly. Then Harry and I used five while you took the other half. I was supposed to separate and label them correctly when a lost owl entered the apartment trying to deliver a letter to someone who lived here before. I fed the owl some treats on the coffee table next to the Hologems! Bloody hell! And I think he took two that were mine and Harry’s.” She finished resignedly. “Hermione, what was in those two Hologems?” Ron calmly asked a very distressed looking Hermione. Harry and Hermione looked at each other and blushed a deep dark red. At that point Ron knew exactly what was in those Hologems. Author’s note: Should I continue? Thanks to my Beta MDiezel. I love you! This plot bunny has been bothering me ever since I’ve seen those VH1 anthologies. My thoughts on HBP varies a bit. I loved the Flashback parts where we learn Tom Riddle’s past but I absolutely loath the romance bit in the story. However, I still am a Harry/ Hermione shipper, the most compatible right pairing. Well, it’s done and JKR has almost put a period in everything but we’ll just have to wait for the 7th book and hope for the best. Cheers.