You Were Mine

Secret Lily

Rating: PG
Genres: Romance
Relationships: Lily & James
Book: Lily & James, Books 1 - 5
Published: 30/07/2005
Last Updated: 30/07/2005
Status: completed

As James is ready to propose to his girlfriend of one year, he wonders why a certain red head's face pops into his mind. One-shot.

Chapters

1. You Were Mine

1. You Were Mine

You Were Mine

As he walked down the street, James Potter felt good about himself. He had the perfect job, the perfect girlfriend, the perfect friends, the perfect parents, and the perfect apartment. Everything was there for him. He was well-known, generally liked.

On nice days like the one that was currently overhead, he felt the need to walk home. Magic was great most of the time, but the world was his to wander. He decided to take advantage of that.

The oak trees swayed gently as the wind blew by them, also making it’s way through his unmanageable jet black hair. His eyes were intently focused on the sidewalk ahead of him, every inch of their hazel chamber surveying the neighborhood he was walking in.

Today was the day. After one year in a steady relationship, James was going to propose to the love of his life. Alexandra Patil had a spark, a flare, that had caught his eye last year. He met her in the Three Broomsticks, a local pub that many Aurors attended. He had been feeling pretty down and there she was, smiling and laughing with her friends. Even then he had known she was special.

She had long, dark hair and mysterious brown eyes. Her sister worked with him in the office; she had set them up. Immediately, James had been quite taken with her. After one year, he felt it was the thing to do. Marriage was the next step, it made it official.

As he walked, a smile formed on his face. He was going to be a married man. Somehow, it was an odd thought. He, James Potter, was getting married. When Sirius found out he was intending on proposing, he literally fell over. Yet, his friends were as supportive as they could be. For some odd reason, all three of them held a dislike towards Alex.

When he reached their apartment, he walked inside and set his briefcase down. The scent of burning candles welcomed him home and Alex was making dinner in the kitchen. He walked up to her from behind and placed his arms around her waist. She smiled and kissed his cheek lightly as she made a salad.

“How was work?” she asked him, chopping up carrots to throw in. Their kitchen was small and humble, exactly as James had wished. He wasn’t into big things. Alex had always complained about the lack of space, but he insisted on having a modest home. He wasn’t one to clutch onto material things. As long as they were together, nothing else mattered.

“Work was work,” he answered. “Sadly, I had to fill out paperwork all day. There’s no fun in that.”

“Certainly not,” she teased, placing the salad on the table. He placed silverware and plates upon it, making a place for the two of them. He loved the way there was structure in their life. They rarely had spontaneous fights, they hardly ever argued. Alex was interested in all the same things he was. She loved Quidditch and enjoyed accompanying him to the matches. To him, this was perfection.

As they sat down to eat dinner, James fumbled with the ring in his pocket. He had picked it out last weekend, taking his time in choosing the right one.

He knew she would say yes, they had talked about marriage before. Something was still bothering him. He hated to be unnerved, unaware of what exactly was acting as a thorn in his side.

James decided to ignore it. He had waited long enough to pop the question, he might as well get it over with. There is no better time than the present, he thought to himself.

“Alex,” he started. She looked up from her salad and into his eyes. Her hand rested on his, gently stroking it with affection.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” he continued. “Something that should have been addressed a long time ago. I feel as if we’re at a certain point in our relationship where we should take the next step.”

She smiled, as if knowing what was going to happen. Yet, when she smiled, that familiar fluttering feeling in his stomach was absent. There was no dizziness, no nervous thoughts. He was completely at ease. The day a man proposes, it is not normal for him to be completely calm. There is usually the risk of being shot down. With Alex, there was no risk. He took a deep breath and attempted to proceed.

“I think we should get mar-” he started. The words wouldn’t come. “Will you mar-”

“James, are you alright?” she asked, seeing his eyes avert from hers. As he had gone to ask her that question, a face appeared in his mind. The right face, the only face, that should be receiving this question.

“Lily,” he whispered. That feeling in his stomach came to him at that very moment. His palms started to sweat and his head started to spin. Before he could so anything more, he passed out.

.X.

Lily Evans sat down on her couch, turned the light on, and prepared to divulge herself in reading the Daily Prophet. This was her normal evening routine after a long day’s work at the hospital.

She pulled her thick auburn hair into a loose ponytail and put her legs up on the coffee table. The silence in her home was uncomfortable, as it always was. She had no friends, no boyfriend, no family. She lacked the necessary people in her life. She had once held all of those things, but had lost them at some point.

There had been her friends. One had been killed by a dark wizard of the name Lord Voldemort; the other moved to France after Hogwarts was long gone. She still kept in contact, but it wasn’t the same.

Her mum had died when she was young, leaving Mr. Evans to raise two girls. Only last year had he died of cancer. Then there was Petunia. She had never really had a sister. Petunia had always been jealous, constantly envious, of Lily. For some odd reason, she felt the need to harass Lily every opportunity presented.

Then there had been James. She hadn’t spoken to James since the end of seventh year. That had been about a year and a half ago. They had broken it off due to irreconcilable differences. She still wasn’t sure who had done the actual breaking up. For a moment, she tried to remember. It may have been her. It most likely was her. James would never have given up on her, she knew that much. That moment, she had thrown away the only good thing she had. Now, she wished she hadn’t.

So, with a sigh, she opened to the front page of the newspaper and saw a picture. This picture broke her heart into a million different dangerous pieces. The headline read, “Potter and Patil: Match Made In Heaven?” Indeed it looked so. He had his arm around a beautiful girl, so unlike herself.

He looked just as she remembered, if not better. He was happy, not sad and lonely as she was. He had moved on. He had found someone that would fulfill his life much better than she would.

She thought back to their days at Hogwarts. Those days had been so free, so alive. She had been someone completely different.

“Come on, Evans. You know you want to give me a chance,” he tempted, pleading for a date.

“You? I should give you, James Potter, a chance? Are you in the right mind?” she asked.

“What’s so wrong with me?” James had asked.

“Where to start?” she had questioned, leaving him behind.

She had been so awful to him. Yet, he had deserved it-partially. It had taken him quite some time to come off of his ego trip and grow up. In their seventh year, he had been made Head Boy.

“Lily, you’re the only one I’ve gone after for years. Don’t you ever wonder why?” he had asked her.

She had no other choice but to nod. It was true, she had wondered. What was so special about her?

“You’re magical. You are the most magical thing to step inside of this castle,” he had said, making her heart swoon. He had always had a way with words. The two of them had stood by the lake, taking the walk he had asked her on.

“You’re beautiful,” he had whispered in her ear before kissing her for the first time.

If she could have chosen one moment to live forever, that would have been it. She had never felt more perfect, more loved, than that very moment.

As she saw that picture on the newspaper, she knew he was making Alexandra Patil feel the way he had made her feel.

She had no flaws, unlike Lily. She was gorgeous, unlike Lily. She most likely never struck any of his nerves, unlike Lily. She also didn’t cry herself to sleep over someone she had let go, unlike Lily.

“We’re two different people,” she had screamed at him on the last day.

“Two people who love each other,” he had explained to her.

“Not anymore,” she had whispered before turning on her heel and leaving him behind forever.

She had made the biggest mistake of her life. Alex Patil had what she didn’t; the love of her life.

Lily wondered what it would be like to have his children, to be his wife. She wondered what it would be like to greet him as he came home with hugs and kisses. She wanted the right to love him, the right that Alex had taken from her.

Lily had something Alex didn’t. James had saved her life.

He found her in a pile of rubble outside of the bar. Lord Voldemort had set the Three Broomsticks on fire, causing more destruction to Hogsmeade than ever before. He and Lily had fought until they could fight no more.

Hours later he had stood up from that rubble, coughing from the amount of smoke that still lingered in the air. He saw bodies skewed in various placed, but he only looked for one.

He saw her red hair first, then he body as he lifted the rubble off of her. He lifted her into his arms and carried her back to Hogwarts, whispering how much he loved her every step of the way.

She tried her best to forget about him, but after a year without him, she still longed to hold him. She fell asleep, crying once more, but now thinking of James’ life without her.

.X.

As James’ eye opened, he saw Alex leaning over him, concern in her eyes. She helped lift him off of the ground. He tried to gain his balance before walking into the hallway.

“What happened?” he asked her.

“You called me Lily,” she reminisced slowly to him. She looked as if she’d been crying, scared for him. “Who is Lily?”

Lily Evans. The one true love of his life. How could he even think her name wouldn’t cross his path ever again? Even if he was unaware of it, that name had been there all along.

“I said that?” he questioned, looking over at her. He was now aware of why that nervous feeling wasn’t there. Alex had never been the love of his life. He’d devoted too much of it into Lily to let it go. For years he had tried to persuade her to go out with him. How could he just give up on it after all that time? He wasn’t like that, he was James Potter. He was persistent. He swore inwardly to himself at the thought of just letting her run off that last day.

“You said it, clear as day,” Alex said. “Are you having an affair?”

“No,” James insisted. “I just realized that I never fell out of love with someone.”

“Lily,” Alex repeated.

“Lily Evans,” he said quietly.

“Well, what are you doing here for?” Alex asked, looking at him oddly.

“What do you mean?” James asked.

“I mean, why are you wasting your time talking to me? You’re James Potter. As far as I’m concerned, you’re a go-to guy. When you want something, you go after it. Go after her,” Alex said, pointing to the door. She looked frozen, as if none of this was processing. It just wasn't fair to her for James to pretend to be in love with her; she knew this.

James kissed her on the cheek for one last time and ran out of the door. The cold wind hit his face, but it was nothing compared to the burning feeling heating up his cheeks. He had always known where she lived. He had asked Sirius about it and Sirius had found out. Actually running there was a dream he’d been having for the longest time.

It was odd how it all hit him at that very moment. He had never forgotten her. He had simply placed Alex in Lily’s position and hoped it would all work out for the best.

There was no pretending. Alex was no Lily. Lily made him laugh, Lily made him angry, Lily made him happy. She was everything that completed him. Being without that for almost two years was unbearable. He missed the way she used to scream at him, the way she used to kiss his neck tenderly, the way she would whisper his name into his ear before Quidditch matches to wish him luck.

His feet were carrying him to her house as his mind raced through memories. He loved Lily, that much was apparent. As he reached her door, he stopped. Before he could turn and walk away, he pounded his fist on the door. He stood for five minutes, waiting for her to answer the door.

What if she’s married? What if she has kids? What if she doesn’t live here anymore?

These thoughts roamed freely and anxiously around James’ head. He forced himself to knock again. He had come so far, realized so much, that he couldn’t back down now.

Slowly, the doorknob turned. James took a deep breath, hoping it was Lily on the other side.

He saw her wrapped in a fluffy blanket, her emerald eyes red and puffy, her auburn hair tousled. She looked beautiful.

"James Potter," she said in a faint, almost dreamlike voice. He nodded in recognition.

"What are you doing here?" she questioned, her eyes gazing directly into his. He felt a turn in his stomach at the now intimidating and penetrating look in her eye. How he had missed it.

"Lily," he started. "Today I was going to propose to my girlfriend. It was all set, ready to go. Yet, for some reason, I couldn't get your face out of my mind. It's simple, really."

"What do you mean it's simple?" Lily inquired.

"I mean, I'm in love with you," he whispered. "Always have been, always will be."

The look in her eye made him react as he did. He cupped her face in his hand and brought his lips to hers. It was if nothing had changed, nothing had happened. They were Lily and James again.

A/N: That took me awhile! I’ve never written a one-shot, be gentle. I hope you all like it. Please review. This was based off of the song You Were Mine by the Dixie Chicks. I don't usually like country, but it's a sad, sad song and I love it.