Remembrance

Disclaimer: The HP world belongs to J.K. Rowling; I am only borrowing the characters. The song is “To Where You Are” by Josh Groban and isn’t mine either.

A/N: Dedicated to my best friend, Sarah G. for her constant encouragement, feedback and for being the one to request that I write a song fic to this song in the first place.

As always, please review and no flames please!

Remembrance

Love. It was so much a part of her thoughts and memories, the one thing that she believed in, that kept her going.

Love hadn’t been a sudden thing for her. She never thought that she fell in love, she moved into it, walked gently down the road to it. And at the end of that road, he was always there. Smiling at her, his hand held out to touch hers, his green eyes so familiar and filled with tenderness, and the black hair always standing up no matter how hard he tried to neaten it. Her Harry. Always hers, even before she knew it, even before he knew it himself. But he had always been hers.

She remembered him, every moment they’d spent together, remembered his smile, the way he would run his hands through his hair mussing it even more. She remembered that night, the night when she first realized that she was his and he was hers.

Who can say for certain, maybe you’re still here

I feel you all around me, your memory so clear

Deep in the stillness, I can hear you speak

You’re still an inspiration

Can it be

That you are mine

Forever love

And you are watching over me from up above

It was late and they were alone in the Gryffindor Common Room, studying for O.W.L.’s. Ron had been with them until he had pleaded being dead tired and gone up to bed. It was just her and Harry, with the firelight flickering over them, the sound of her quill scratching on her parchment.

And then she looked up to find that Harry was no longer reading his Transfiguration textbook. He was looking at her, something in his green eyes she’d never seen before, something odd, something new, something…

“What is it, Harry? Do I have ink on my nose or something?” she asked self-consciously. She was suddenly very aware of how alone they were, how pleasantly dim it was in the Common Room, how late it was.

He blinked, seeming to come back to earth. “No, no, nothing’s wrong,” he finally said. “Only…” His voice trailed off.

She studied him, frowning slightly. Harry had grown in the past few years. He wasn’t as tall as Ron was, but he wasn’t short anymore either, and had filled out, all thanks to Quidditch. He had also started attracting much more attention from the girls for more than just his name and his scar. But he was still Harry.

He was still studying her. Their eyes met and held; she caught her breath as Harry slowly and hesitantly moved closer to her, tilted her chin slightly, and kissed her. Her eyes closed, she dropped her quill, not caring for once that it left an inkblot on her otherwise neat parchment.

Harry’s lips were soft, gentle, tasting vaguely of chocolate and pumpkin juice from dessert that day.

He pulled back, just a little, and smiled a small smile, before putting his arm around her. She closed her eyes, resting her head on his chest. She could hear his heart beating steadily beneath her ear, feel his hand on her back, and she felt safe.

They stayed like that for more than an hour, not saying anything, just holding each other, thinking their own thoughts, thinking about their years of friendship, the new turn their relationship had just taken. No words were necessary and she didn’t need anything else. It was just her and her Harry, together, and all was right in her world.

Are you gently sleeping, here inside my dream

And is it faith believing, all power can’t be seen?

As my heart holds you, just one beat away,

I cherish all you gave me every day

‘Cause you are mine forever love

Watching me, from up above

And I believe, that angels breathe

And that love will live on and never leave

It was easiest at night. She dreamed of him then and was happy, if only for a while.

They were at Hogwarts, walking hand in hand by the lake where they had walked in reality so many times, not talking much, but the silence was comfortable. As it had always been. They had never needed to talk much. They reached their special spot underneath the tree when Harry stopped, turning her around to face him before kissing her deeply. She responded, opening her lips beneath his, her arms around his neck, feeling her heart quicken its pace as it always did whenever Harry kissed her like this.

He ended the kiss slowly, teasingly nibbling on her lower lip as he drew away.

Slowly, her eyelids fluttered open and she gave him a small smile. “Wow. What was that for?”

He didn’t smile, just took her hands in his looking down at her, his expression utterly serious. “I love you, Hermione,” he said softly.

She smiled at him mistily. “I love you too. Always.”

He drew her close to him and kissed her temple, as he murmured, “My Hermione.” She smiled and closed her eyes against Harry’s chest, feeling utterly safe and completely loved in Harry’s embrace.

But she always woke up alone.

Fly me up to where you are beyond the distant star

I wish upon tonight to see you smile

If only for a while, to know you’re there

A breath away’s not far to where you are

The nightmares were the worst, nightmares of that last moment, hearing Voldemort’s voice as he shrieked out those two deadly words, Avada Kedavra, with his last breath, ensuring that he wouldn’t go alone. He would take their hero, the wizarding world’s savior, her love, with him. She would hear again her scream, Harry!, see the realization in Harry’s face as he turned to look his last at her before there was the flash of green light. And then she was running, always in slow motion it seemed, running to Harry as he fell, ignoring the flash of light that marked the final end of Voldemort as he disappeared, leaving only a pile of black robes and his wand, knowing only that Harry was gone, that he had been the last sacrifice.

And she would wake up, crying again, the same horror, the same chilling, bone-deep sorrow.

She went on living, working at the Ministry, helping to rebuild the wizarding world. She persevered, somehow knowing that it was what Harry would have wanted.

They had never directly spoken about the chance that he wouldn’t survive, but she knew that he had known, had been prepared and willing to take the risk.

Yes, life went on after Harry, after love. It was not the same, would never be the same, but she knew she would survive, could survive. Until the day she went to join him.

She stared into the darkness from her window, not seeing the lights, seeing herself and Harry in the all too few years they had had together. Seeing his unkempt hair, his green eyes alight with love, laughter, and hope, hearing his laugh, his voice saying, “I love you.”

And she smiled through the tears. Love would outlast death, for Harry was still with her, as he would always be with her, in her heart and mind and soul. “I love you, Harry.”

And somehow, somewhere, she knew that he heard her and that he smiled.

I know you’re there

A breath away’s not far to where you are.