Saying Goodbye

padfoot_puppyeyes

Rating: PG
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 31/08/2005
Last Updated: 31/08/2005
Status: completed

Harry says a last goodbye to everyone he cares about after the war and Voldemort's defeat. It isn't what you think it is! This was written before HBP. Read & Review please.

Chapters

1. Saying Goodbye

1. Saying Goodbye

The graveyard was silent, save for the sounds of muffled crying coming from those who had lost loved ones recently and the wind that blew lazily through the trees, messing up the already-messy black hair of one boy with the eyes and heart of a man.

Sometimes tears weren't enough, didn't show enough pain, to convey how much hurt one was feeling. Harry was actually quite sure that he had run out of tears two or three days ago, and still a few managed to slide slowly down his face and plop onto the soft ground beneath him, disturbing the silence.

Taking a deep breath and surveying his surroundings, Harry tried to take control of his emotions.

How could he though? How could he control so many emotions? How could he say goodbye to so many people at once?

In, and out. In. Out. Slowly he stopped crying, only to start sobbing. This just wasn't fair. It was like he couldn't win. But life, he had discovered a long time ago, was never fair, and choices were never easy.

This choice wasn't any easier. Whom to say goodbye to first?

Best to start at the beginning, Dumbledore had always said.

“Hagrid…Hagrid, you were my first real friend. And I mean ever, not just in the wizarding world. You took me out of hell and brought to into…” Well, e couldn't exactly call Hogwarts heaven, because every year had been a new danger. But a haven. Hogwarts had been his haven. “You brought me into my own world. I'll always thank you and remember you for that.”

“Ron…Hagrid may have brought me back into the world I belonged in, but you brought me into myself. I couldn't have come out of my shell without you, mate. I couldn't have done much of anything without you at first. I wouldn't have become what I-“ briefly he reflected on the truth of his next words. If he hadn't met Ron, he wouldn't have wanted so badly to be a Gryffindor, or cared so much about being a Slytherin. If he hadn't met Ron, he probably wouldn't have met Hermione. If he hadn't met Ron, would he really have refused Malfoy's hand in first year? Would he have had the nerve to get on a broomstick to retrieve Neville's rememberall?

No. No, he wouldn't have.

Would he have been able to sneak out at night for a duel if it hadn't been for Ron? Would he have gotten passed the giant chess set without Ron, or had the courage to fight Voldemort without Ron's confident, “it has to be you to defeat him, Harry,” speech? Not to mention going after Ginny, or chasing Ron into the branches of the Whomping Willow?

No

Would he have had the nerve to ask Hermione out?

No.

“Ron, thank you for making me who I am.”

He couldn't do Hermione yet. He just couldn't. He skipped ahead to Professor Dumbledore. “Professor, you ruined my life so many times, I can't even count them on all of my fingers. You sent me to an almost abusive home, where I suffered years of neglect growing up. You avoided telling me about the prophecy, helped me several times to nearly get myself killed by Voldemort, tested my friendships on purpose to see if they were strong enough, threw all of the responsibility that came with the prophecy on me at once, nearly expelled me for something that wasn't my fault in sixth year, and tried to keep me from seeing Hermione. Then, you…I lost the love of my life for a year because of you. It's hard to believe she's been dead and gone for a year.” Here he paused to take a breath, and said, “there are more things I wont even mention right now. I'd really rather not think about them. But in the end, you always did what you thought was best for me, and considering how many times you steered me in the right direction, I can try to forgive you for your mistakes. Rest easy, old man. The war is over finally.”

Taking a deep breath, he swallowed again, and sat down. This was taking too big a toll on his body to stand any more. Then, he moved on to another person who had become a big part of his life.

“Ginny, I owe you. I owe you for so much. You taught me to be open, and trusting, even if it was your temper and ability to perform a bat-bogey hex that knocked the sense into me to stop shutting people out and start pursuing Hermione. In my sixth year, I was so alone for so long…but your OWL's must have raised your temper, because that Weasley anger sent me to the Hospital Wing for the night, to heal and think things through. It was in that night that I decided I was in love with Hermione…thank you.”

“Draco…what are you doing here, Draco Malfoy?” He asked, looking around the graveyard. “Just because you became a spy, doesn't mean I forgive you for those years of torment…but you're truly cared for Ginny, didn't you?” Sighing, he murmured, “take care of her, Draco Malfoy.”

Swallowing, he continued. He still had so many more people to address. This could take a while.

“Mr. and Mrs. Weasley…you know, you gave me my first Christmas present. I guess that says a lot, because Christmas is supposedly a time for family. You meant a lot to me…and to give me Percy's room like that, it gave me a feeling I can't put into words. I had a home, and people who loved me. I had a place where I belonged. And you got the message that I was wanted across. You didn't need to stand by me like that, but you did. I miss you.”

“Remus…” Here he choked up, and more tears made trails down his face. “Remus, you were so much to me. You were the only one I could come to for things I would normally have asked my dad for. You were the only one who let me grieve for Sirius on my own time, without rushing me, probably because you were grieving too. Your advice, was…wow. Your advice kept me alive and in love. And I would do anything to keep our time from being cut short as it was, but we'll see each other again sometime. I'll see you then.”

He continued this way, in this manner, addressing everyone important in his life, occasionally crying and often going silent because of lack of words of lost in memory. Eventually, he had no one else to address, except her… but somehow, he couldn't think of what would be appropriate to say…

“Harry?”

“Hey, Hermione.”

“What are you doing in the hospital wing?” She asked, amused. He had a cream all over his face, and his eyes appeared to have been scratched out. When she saw this, however, her amusement quickly turned to fear as she said, “Oh, Harry, no!”

“Don't worry, Hermione. I can have my eyesight, and eyeballs, restored with just a potion. It'll only a night before I can see again, maybe even better than before. I may not need my glasses anymore after this.”

“That's great!” there was a silence until she asked, “what happened? Who did it?”

Sighing, Harry said, “Ginny.”

“What? Oh, honestly, we were all testy because of OWL's but that was unnecessary! Even I wasn't that bad! What curse did she use, her bat-bogey hex?”

“The one, the only.” Harry replied mournfully. “But some of the things she said got me thinking…”

“Uh-oh.”

“Yeah.”

“What did she say?” Hermione asked reproachfully. Harry sighed, and shifted in his seat.

“She said some things I needed to hear…” He answered vaguely, a look of deep thought on his face. “Said that I needed to stop trying to push all of you away, because no one who really mattered was going anywhere. Also said I needed to stop screwing around with your emotions, because she'd be trying to study for OWL's and you'd be talking about whatever it was that I had done that day…”

Hermione instantly turned bright red and tried to deny it until Harry had finally just kissed her to keep her quiet. Smiling at the look of shock on her face, he slipped his hand into hers. “It's all right. I think Ron's thinking along the same lines as his sister.”

When Madam Pomfrey saw the two sixth years asleep next to each other, Hermione's head resting on Harry's shoulder, she didn't have the heart to wake them up.

Harry choked back more tears and wiped his face on his sleeve, staring over the graveyard with a far away look in his eyes. He didn't move when he felt one hand slip into his hand, or when he felt another hand rest reassuringly on his shoulder.

“You did it, Harry.” She whispered, tears running unchecked down her face as well.

“Yeah…I did.” He really felt bad for leaving Ron like this, but he knew that pretty soon he had to get going.

“Are you ready, then?” Sirius asked as he guided Harry towards a bright light that lay just a little ahead of them. Harry paused for a moment, and looked back at all of the people behind him, crying over his closed casket.

When the reporters and the ministry men looked down into the grave, everyone who had known and loved Harry looked up. Every day afterwards, they would swear on their lives that they saw Harry Potter and Hermione Granger walk away, hand in hand, with Sirius Black just a little ways ahead of them.

“Come on, Harry! Hurry up! Prongs and Lily are waiting!” Sirius insisted, speeding up to almost a run. Harry gave a small smile and felt Hermione give his hand a reassuring sqeeze. He had been waiting to meet his parents too.

“We're coming.” Harry called to his godfather, pulling Hermione with him.

Ron Weasley smiled a faint smile and threw his flower onto his best friend's grave. Sighing, he turned and walked away. He had a life to live, and knew that at the end of it, his best friends would be waiting.

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