Together

A/N – This is a prequel to Shades of Gray. If you want to know what happens after this story, check it out! – Kumy

She had thought she could do anything for their love. But she couldn’t forget…she couldn’t pretend she hadn’t seen the thing she had. The look of horror on his face as he hurriedly pushed the Death Eater mask under a cloak was imprinted upon her mind like it was yesterday…it had been a fateful year since that day.

Every time she saw another death listed in the Prophet, she wondered if it was him. Every time she heard distant screams, she wondered whether he was out there, inflicting them. Every time she saw a masked face in the midst of battle, she hesitated…what if it was him? She didn’t kill in battle any longer, preferring to take prisoners only. She pushed away the reasons her mind brought up.

She had thought she could do anything for their love but break her loyalty to the Light. But she couldn’t forget the Darkness that was threatening to overpower him.

She could already see it. The good in him was being scoured away by the Darkness he lived with…leaving only cold and hard edges behind. He was becoming ice…unfeeling and unbreakable. He was steeling himself to do things that the man she fell in love with could never do.

She remembered all the tears she wiped away in empty corridors…even boy’s bathrooms, a few times. She remembered how Harry had nearly caught them together in her fifth year…how Draco had looked to her with worried eyes before being hit with Dark magic. How she had caught him as Harry ran to get help, and held him for an instant before running back to her dormitory. How she had pushed him away for a brief time because she thought it wouldn’t work out between them.

How she had listened to Harry tell the tale, smiling inside when she heard Draco couldn’t kill Dumbledore. Then after Harry left, she had gone back to him…because she had thought there was hope. Because she couldn’t stay away. He hadn’t been a Death Eater then…but now…

She wanted these doubts to disappear, drowned by her love for him. But every night when she closed her eyes in the dark, she felt it. She was living a lie. And she knew, that someday, together wouldn’t feel right to her. And then, she would break his heart and hers. She would walk away.

She tried to forget that too. Forget the inevitability of their division. But the wall that they had built up between them reminded her. The fact that she felt better while alone reminded her. And every night, when he disappeared and she was left alone in the dark, wondering, she reminded herself.

Draco walked up to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and tucking his chin onto her shoulder. She smiled, her eyes lighting up…but he could see a shadow in her eyes, that hadn’t been there before. Before she found out.

Draco sighed. He guessed that he was lucky she had stayed this long. He had thought that she would have left the day she knew. But she had merely nodded and wrapped her arms tight about him. He had long since lost all hope that he could change…now his only hope was that she would be able to forgive him.

He had doubts now, though. Every day, the distance between them grew greater. She wouldn’t tell him about her days, he wouldn’t tell her about his nights. Neither of them trusted each other anymore. Neither of them were comfortable with each other.

Because when love and war conflicted, war always took precedence. Because when it came down to it, they were enemies. Two people on different sides of a war that would decide both their lives…and love…well, love could definitely win against certain odds.

But when it came to life and death…because whoever lost this war would die…love was trivial.

He could still hope…one of the greatest curses of being human…of loving. He did hope. But deep inside, a nagging feeling said that their paths would divide soon.

Together was starting to feel wrong. When it didn’t feel right anymore, the final blow would fall. God, he wished they could be together forever. But…well, time would tell.

And he still hoped.

When he returned in the morning one day, she was ready. Ready to break the lie that had been destroying them both.

“Draco, I can’t live like this anymore.” She blurted out as soon as she saw him.

His eyes changed to cold steel…he had hoped…

She ignored the pain in his eyes and continued. “We are living a lie. We can’t trust each other anymore. We can’t talk…there’s nothing left to stay for.’

He looked at her from his position in the doorway. “Damn it, Ginny, I love you. That’s enough to fight for.”

She smiled bitterly, tears running down her face. “Not when we are enemies in a War that will decide our fate. Not now.”

He said quietly, “All’s fair in love and war…are you scared of that? Scared that I will use you to get deeper inside the Order.”

“NO! But, Merlin, Draco, I already know so many things about your infiltration that I haven’t even tried to find out…that I have been hiding from the Order to protect you! And we can’t let that happen anymore. If your side wins, I will die…and if my side wins –“

“I’ll be good as dead.” Draco snarled, finishing the sentence.

Tears streamed down Ginny’s face. “You see?”

Silently, Draco stepped out of the doorway, leaving her path clear. Slowly, painfully, she forced herself out of that room, away from the one man who had ever known her, all of her.

She turned in the doorway. “Draco, if you were to change sides?”

He asked gently, “Would I ask you to do that?” She shook her head. “Then don’t ask me, Ginny….you know I can’t.”

She sobbed deep in her throat. He longed to comfort her. But the bridge that had crossed the divide of sides had been broken. She was his no longer.

She walked out the door, breaking into a run. Scared that if she would stop she would go back. Because he loved her. But this was war.

It had been ten years since that war. Ten years since Harry Potter defeated Voldemort and became the youngest Headmaster ever to reign at Hogwarts. Ten years since Ginevra Weasley fell in love for the second time…not as truly, nor as purely…but still, love. She thought.

The shadow of what she had with Draco kept her awake at nights. She had no idea what had happened to him.

One day, the headlines blared, “Malfoy Caught At Last!” Ginny blanched in surprise and horror.

Harry wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, and for an instant she swore she felt Draco’s breath hot in her ear. “Angel.” She whispered slowly, in a trance of memories long ago.

Harry asked her quietly, “What’s that, sweetheart?” She shook her head at him quickly.

He smiled. “Well it’s finally safe…Malfoy was one of the last Death Eaters on the Dark Side that merited catching.”

She turned into his arms and buried her face in his chest. She was with Harry…for three years, now. Nothing could change that…Merlin, they were getting married! It had taken her ten years to decide whether she could live with less than the love she had with Draco. When she had finally said yes…a bit of her heart shattered…but now…now this was her destiny, her reality. She was going to marry Harry Potter.

Her voice, muffled, came out, “I am so glad you didn’t become an Auror. What if you –“ she changed what she was going to say, “were hurt?”

Harry stroked her hair softly. But she bit back the words she had wanted to say. What if Harry had hurt Draco?

It was then she knew that she had to see him. Had to see what the War had made him. Had to see everything about him. Just one last time, before…well, her life went on. She had been living in the past for so long…maybe a reminder of it would push her into the present. Push her into thinking about her future.

She pulled away from Harry. “I have work to do, Harry. Okay?” Harry sighed and nodded. She giggled…she knew what he was thinking.

She walked out the door, not heading to her workplace in the Department of Mysteries (researching love) but to Azkaban…and Draco Malfoy.

She pushed away the lingering feeling that that was where she belonged. Pushed away a hunch that she may never come back here again. And walked off to face the last fear in her life. The fear of a man who had broken her heart a thousand times over…the man that had ruined her for love from any other.

She would face him, and come back at peace. To live her life with Harry. Or so she hoped.