October

Title: October

Summary: Ginny leaves Draco, forcing him to make the most important decision of his life, for once on his own.

Rating: Medium R

Note: I wasn’t sure about posting this story up anywhere, for the main reason that it’s way to fluffy, I use a lot of lyrics from songs as some dialogue, and I’m not sure what to think about it. The title ‘October’ is from Evanescence. I can honestly say I didn’t put a lot of effort, details, and background info on how they got to where they are now. I think the main thing I was going for was that you don’t realize what you have until it’s gone and then even after.

Spoilers/Disclaimers: October by Evanescence is the title of the story. Best I Ever Had by Gary Allan, October ^, and If I Lost It by Kenny Chesney have lyric/dialogue pop up in the story…aka I use their lyrics as some of the things that are said between characters.

“Draco, I can’t do this anymore. There’s only so much fire in me. You’re slowly blowing me out. I can’t burn forever.”

Draco smirked and raised an eyebrow. “I’m blowing you out? Great analogy Gin, what are you getting at?”

Ginny flinched and took a step back. “Are you even listening to me? I fell in love with you, you jack arse. You’re not giving me anything to go by! I’m the one leaping forward, hands, feet, and all. I’m making those first moves---but when you were supposed to catch me I just kept falling. I’ve had it. Draco, it’s over.”

Draco snorted and shook his head, walking forward to wrap his arm possessively around her waist. “Please,” he chuckled. “You can’t get enough of me. You want me just as much as I want you.”

As he leaned down to drop his head against hers she turned her face, his forehead just briefly grazing her freckled cheek. She took a deep breath and dropped her cheek against his forehead.

“I can’t keep up with you,” she whispered, heartbroken. “I love you, but you don’t love me. For a long time I thought it would be enough. That I had enough love for the both of us. I was wrong,” her voice quivered and a tear slipped down onto his forehead.

“Gin,” he started his voice becoming softer. He started to pull away, but Ginny quickly pushed him back.

“I want to know what it feels like for someone to be in love with me and I want to marry that person. Christ, we’ve been going out for almost three years and your parents don’t know about us.”

“Yours don’t either,” he spoke softly, his voice tinted with a hint of an argument.

“Because you don’t want them to know, baby. I want everyone in the world to know that I’m in love with Draco Malfoy, that my families worst enemy’s son stole my heart, but I’d be embarrassed when they ask if he loved me back. I wouldn’t know what to say. You know and I never wanted to be one of those girlfriends that made them choose between things. I don’t want to be an ultimatum girlfriend, but I’ve no other choice. I’ll stay with you if we can tell everyone and if you can tell me that you love me.”

A minute went by and Ginny took a deep breath, knowing what she’d known all along.

“I don’t know if I love Gin,” he whispered gently, placing a kiss at the corner of her eye. “I know I like you a lot more than my other ex’s. You’re just the best I’ve ever had so far.”

Ginny snorted and pushed him away as hard as she could, hating that dirty tone in his voice. That Malfoy smirk that had caught her attention three years ago faded away to an astonished angry look.

“Merlin Ginny, are you serious?” Draco cried out, falling into his dresser, his usually perfect hair falling into his face.

Oh how she longed to go to him, to push his hair out of his face, to kiss him, make love to him, to tell him she would stay—forever. That she would always need him, she was lifeless without him, broken, he was her strength, her only peace, her power—her love. How was she to live without him?

Stop it Gin, just stop it, she screamed in her head, crying inside.

“I’ve been serious for a long time Draco,” she said, her voice cracking as she tried desperately to keep her tears in. “If this is how it’s going to be, then I quit.”

The last thing she wanted was to break into tears.

“Goodbye,” she nodded, biting her lower lip. She walked forward and gently swept her fingers against his lips.

Horror filled her as a sob escaped her lips. She gasped, jerking back as she saw him grab for her. All she could do was run as the tears poured freely.

“GINNY!” Draco called.

------- 2 weeks later

“Fine, it’s not so bad without her,” Draco repeated for what seemed like the millionth time as he walked towards the dinner table.

His mother had always insisted that they have dinner every other night and perhaps it had helped him more than he thought after Ginny broke up with him.

He still couldn’t believe that he, him, Draco Malfoy, wasn’t the ‘dumper’ this time. He had been too shocked to do anything but call her name when she’d run from him on that cold October day. The first of that month he would remember as a hellish day from now on. He knew he would go on hating October 1^st for the rest of his life.

“It’s not so bad,” he mumbled, knowing full well he didn’t believe it. He took a deep breath and swallowed so hard it hurt his parched throat. “Who am I kidding? I want her back.”

“Who dear?” Narcissa asked softly from the other end of the table.

Draco lifted his eyes up. “Um nothing, Mum.”

He had to get her back, he’d known a week in a half ago that he needed her. Not just for sex, but for her wildness. She was always unpredictable and he loved that. It took him about three days to realize that she’d said that she loved him, and even though in his circumstances he’d be happy that she said it. He knew then, but he didn’t want to admit it.

That night, when he realized what had happened, he dropped to the floor, and for the first time in years, he cried.

“Draco, what’s wrong dear?” Narcissa asked, placing her fork gently down. “You’ve been at odds for nearly two weeks now.

Draco shook his head. “N-nothing, mum. I just don’t think I’m very hungry. I’ll see you later,” he mumbled as he got up to leave.

“I hope your heartache heels soon, love.”

Draco slowly lifted his eyes towards his mothers. It didn’t really surprise him that she knew what was bugging him, being with Lucius for so long made you pick up on emotions more quickly. She needed to know if it was necessary to stay away or get hit.

-

Draco stood at his door and dropped his forehead against the cool wood, a tear dropping down his cheek. “Gin,” he whispered.

A hand suddenly clutched his shoulder and Draco jolted, twisting quickly and reaching for his wand.

“Draco…”

He stopped, his eyes widening. “Ginny? What are you…?”

Her eyes were sad and she looked very tired. She never looked tired. “I’ve come to get my things.”

He shook his head. “No.”

Ginny lifted her head and stared at him. “No—excuse me?”

Draco swiftly pulled her body to his. He had gone crazy without her, without having sex with her. The quiet ones were wild in bed—Ginny was always quiet around groups of people. It had be full truth. When they’d been together they’d had sex almost every night. He knew he’d been going through withdrawal and her she was demanding her things.

Doesn’t she understand what she’s done to me?

“Draco, stop it!”

He pulled her face to his, drinking in her taste. He was kissing as if he’d gone thirsty for days and she was his salvation.

Ginny growled at him, shoving at him, but he refused to move. Instead he swiftly lifted her up and swung her around, plastering her back to the door, molding his body tightly to hers. With his body holding her up in the air, against the door, one hand went between her legs, rubbing over her jeans, and the other went under her shirt.

Ginny jerked a knee up, purposely missing his groin, but came close enough to warn him that he was going to far. She pushed him back, causing him to fall.

“What is the matter with you? Were you going to rape me on your door step?”

Draco was breathing heavily, his eyes wide with disbelief at what he’d almost done. “Ginny I—”

“Just stop,” she scoffed angrily.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered looking her in the eyes.

Ginny jerked back, her face filled with surprise. “What did you say?”

He swallowed. “I’m sorry.”

Ginny cautiously licked her bottom lip. It was the first time she’d ever heard Draco Malfoy say ‘sorry’. “I thought you never said sorry, even when you were wrong?”

“You’re my exception,” he whispered. “I was wrong.”

Ginny nodded. “Y-you were. I’ll just get my things later,” she sighed starting to walk past him.

His arms jerked forward and he pulled her to him, his face resting against his abdomen, his arms wrapped tightly around her. “I thought I’d be okay without you. I did, but I was wrong. Ginny I-I love you,” he whispered.

Ginny slowly pushed her hands into his hair and turned his face up. “It’s good to know you can love. Goodbye Draco,” she smiled sadly, unlatching his arms from around her and walking away.

“What more do you want from me?” He yelled in a voice he knew scared her.

Ginny paused. “I want everything.”

“What if I can’t give you everything?” He cried out to her.

He had said it knowing that marriage, love, and kids were the everything.

She started walking. “Then you don’t really love me.”

He stared at his back. He would have been okay if he hadn’t seen her, he would have survived, even if he were trying to do a plan that possibly couldn’t work. He wanted her more than anything.

----30 days after the break up

Everything was going as planned. Ginny and her whole family were in town for the Halloween Festival, just as he suspected. It was perfect. Not only would both of their families know, but the town, and soon the wizarding world. Their family feud was legendary, but the Malfoy name, even though slightly scared by Lucius still rang as royalty. He had had to be careful when he was with Ginny, he had liked just having her to himself, but now he would do anything for her.

Then there was his mother, coming out of Madam Malkins. “Right on time, Mum,” he whispered. “GINNY!”

-----

“Did you hear that?” Molly asked her husband quietly. “Ginny, someone’s calling for you dear.”

Ron snorted. “Mum, are you hearing things again?”

Ginny smacked him in the arm. “Be quiet you.”

“Aye, mum’s gone daft,” Fred said so seriously that George burst out laughing.

“No, there it is again! Arthur, Charlie-I know you all heard it,” Molly cried in the beginnings of irritation. “Harry? Hermione? You heard it. I’m not hearing things! I’m not that old yet!”

“Mum, I’m really not in the mood for this. I think I’m going to just go,” Ginny sighed.

“Stay right where you are, young lady.”

“Ginny!”

Molly turned and stopped Ginny. “Now I know someone is calling you. It’s getting closer. You had have heard it.”

“Mum, I think you’re-a-going a little loopy,” Ginny chuckled.

“Oh my, Ginny he’s running towards you. I’m serious Ginevra, look.”

Before she could turn she felt someone jerking her arm, forcing her to flip around so quickly she was dizzy from the speed. The next thing she knew she felt partially cold hands sweep past her cheeks, into her hair, clutching her head, and pulling her lips towards his smooth warm, chocolate flavored mouth. Familiarity poured into her and she wrapped her arms around his neck, lifting her legs around her waist.

Draco, her mind whispered with astonishment.

The kiss was quick, but long enough to make Ginny feel light headed. If he hadn’t been holding her, clutching her to him, she would have definitely fallen.

“Mrs. Weasley…”

Tears poured from her eyes as she realized what he was doing; when he placed her gently back onto her feet. A silvery glint caught her eye and the moment was set as she noticed Draco’s mother standing diagonally from him, her beautiful angelic face puzzled. Ginny had seen her in the streets and she had never realized how much more beautiful the woman became with the absence of Lucius. The man obviously had put a lot of stress on not only Draco, but her as well.

“…I’ve been seeing Ginny since our last year at Hogwarts, just about three years ago. I want to tell you how much I love this woman. No one can make me cry; make me laugh, make me smile, or drive me mad like she does. I know it’ll take time to get use to me, so Mr. Weasley, I won’t ask you just yet for your and your wife’s blessing for Ginny’s hand in marriage, but a promise ring…” Draco stopped and reached into his pocket, pulling out a ring that most likely cost way more than what a ‘promise ring’ should cost. He turned slowly, his eyes searching hers. “Gin?”

She took two deep breaths and cried, launching herself into his arms. “I love you,” she whispered, kissing him as if she couldn’t breath with out his air.

“I want babies Gin, I want the marriage…I want it all,” he spoke softly, brushing the pad of his thumb against her cheek.

“I’m so very glad.”

+Finished+

Lyrics to the following songs were used. I didn’t use all of them, but you’ll notice them when you see it. October - Evanescence, Best I Ever Had - Gary Allan, and If I Lost It - Kenny Chesney. I only put part of October and Best I Ever Had lyrics below, if you’d like the full lyrics to every song (and want to hear the songs) pay attention to my writingontheclouds yahoogroup. I’ll have it posted up there in a while.

Be nice if you decide to review—I was seriously not wanting to put this up, because I haven’t read over it for mistakes, or to see if I could actually pull the plot off. ~Aya

+October

I can't run anymore,
I fall before you,
Here I am,
I have nothing left,
Though I've tried to forget,
You're all that I am,
Take me home,
I'm through fighting it,
Broken,
Lifeless,
I give up,
You're my only strength,
Without you,
I can't go on,
Anymore,
Ever again.

My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love.

I can't run anymore,
I give myself to you,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry,
In all my bitterness,
I ignored,
All that's real and true,
All I need is you,
When night falls on me,
I'll not close my eyes,
I'm too alive,
And you're too strong,
I can't lie anymore,
I fall down before you,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry.

+Best I Ever Had

So you sailed away into a gray sky morning
Now I'm here to stay, love can be so boring
And nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now.

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had.

So you stole my world, now I'm just a phony
Remembering the girl leaves me down and lonely

Well send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better.

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don’t want me back
You're just the best I ever had.

And it might take some time to patch me up inside
but I can’t take it so I, I run away and hide
And I might find in time that you were always right
You're always right.