Facing Your Fears

padfoot_puppyeyes

Rating: PG
Genres: Drama, Romance
Relationships: Lily & James
Book: Lily & James, Books 1 - 6
Published: 12/09/2005
Last Updated: 12/09/2005
Status: completed

Lily's always hated storms, but if James can teach her to face her fears, maybe she'll see that there's more to them than lightening and thunder. ONESHOT fluffy and cute.

Chapters

1. Facing Your Fears

1. Facing Your Fears

Lily had always hated storms. Ever since she had been a little girl and been caught in one, and nearly had a tree fall on her, (at the time, no one could explain how the tree had flown across the street, and had blamed it on the wind, but now that she knew about magic it made sense) Lily had jumped at the sound of thunder, trembled at the sight of lightening, and gone quiet and moody at the sound of rain. So while the storm was raging just outside the castle, she really didn't want to be in the middle of a Head meeting with James Potter of all people.

But that's exactly where she was, and she couldn't seem to keep from jumping at every clap of thunder. It was making her angry, frustrated, and even a little scared, because really there wasn't anything she could do about it. James, obviously noticing her stress, looked a little hurt.

“What'd I do this time, Lily? I didn't talk about breaking rules, or insult Snape, or ask you on a date, so what's got you made now?” He asked, running a hand through his raggedy hair. If she hadn't been so tense, she would've rolled her eyes, but as it was she couldn't ignore how…human his habit made him seem. He didn't seem to think about doing it anymore- it seemed more like an unconscious reaction to the stress she cause him. Or maybe just a reaction to her. She wasn't sure which one she liked more.

She jumped again at another loud clap of thunder that stopped her heart for a moment. James eyed her for a moment, and then his hazel eyes softened in understanding. “You're afraid of storms.” It wasn't mocking, or even a question, but she sighed and nodded anyways.

“I dislike them, yes. Now, can we get back to-“

“I was trying to get back to that, but you can't seem to focus with the rain outside. Why don't we put it off for a little bit and wait until it stops raining so hard. I'm sure it wont storm all night. We can just talk.” At her doubtful look, he rolled his eyes. “I swear, no flirting involved. Just talking.”

Lily sighed and set aside her notes. She wouldn't be able to focus or sleep anyway. “So…talk about what?” While she and James had begun to get along since school had started, Lily realized that they had never actually had a real conversation before.

“Well…why are you afraid of storms?” James asked awkwardly.

“So now you're a bloody therapist?” Lily snapped, jumping again as thunder shook through the castle once again.

“No. I just wanted to help.” James offered softly, suddenly shy. If there was one thing that James did that infuriated her more than being arrogant, it was making her feel guilty.

“I know. I'm just a little on-edge.” She replied, burying her head in her hands and rubbing her eyes. It had been a long day, and if it kept pouring like this, it was going to be a long night.

“Do you…do you want some hot chocolate?” James asked hesitantly. Just the thought of something so warm and soothing made her relax.

“Yeah, that'd be great.” She had wasn't sure how she had expected him to suddenly present her with hot chocolate, but she hadn't expected him to call on a house elf by name and ask for two mugs. At her surprised expression, James explained.

“That elf works in the kitchens, and he always used to help us out when we were hungry.” `We' probably was referring to Sirius Black, the boy with a bottomless pit for a stomach, Remus Lupin, who ate like an animal most of the time, and didn't at all the rest of the time, and Peter Pettigrew, who ate dessert before dinner, and James.

“I've never liked that pureblooded families use house elves as slaves.” Lily said, trying to be casual, but really annoyed. It didn't seem like it was right to take advantage of the creatures.

“We don't own one, but Bitsie kind of befriended us. Specially Remus. He always flatters her cooking.” Lily snorted, and shook her head, gratefully taking the warm mug from the small creature offering it. If anyone would befriend a magical creature, it would be Remus Lupin. While they hadn't gotten along very well two years ago, last year she had found out that Remus was a werewolf, and had begun to understand why he behaved the way he did. The fact that James knew about Remus's condition and didn't push him away earned him just a little more of Lily's respect.

Both of them sipped their hot chocolate for a moment in silence, Lily taking comfort from the warm, sweet liquid. The fire in the hearth was giving the common room that she and James shared a comforting glow.

“I was about six when I got stuck in a storm at the park. I didn't know that it was dangerous to hid under trees, and it stopped the rain, so I was crouched under that when lightening hit the tree, and a limb almost fell on me.”

“What happened?” James asked quietly, his voice softer than she was used to hearing it.

“Accidental magic. The branch landed across the street. You should've seen people try to figure out how the limb had gotten over there when there weren't any trees nearby.”

James nodded in understanding.

“You don't mind storms then?” Lily asked, trying to keep up the conversation.

James smiled, his warm hazel eyes crinkling in amusement. “Nope. I actually was once. I think all of us are when we're little kids. But by the time I was five dad wanted me to stop sleeping in their room every time a storm came, so he helped me get over it.”

“How?” Lily asked, hopeful. It was really embarrassing to jump every time thunder and rain came.

James's grin went from happy to wry. “Well, he made me face my fears head-on and took me out in the storm.” He answered, amused when she shivered. “I didn't think you'd go for that, especially since I don't know the anti-lightening charms my dad does.” Suddenly, his eyes lit up, and a boyish excitement entered his face. “But we wouldn't have to!”

“What?” she asked, confused. James was already setting down his mug of hot chocolate on the small coffee table in front of him and gently grabbing her wrist, pulling her out the hidden door to the head quarters.

“You'll see.” Somehow, this didn't comfort her. He must have sensed her uncertainty, because he stopped and turned to face her when they were in the hallway. “Trust me. You won't get hurt; you wont even get wet.”

Somehow, Lily believed him. His excitement was contagious, and soon she was running to keep up with his long strides.

They didn't stop until they reached the empty and dark great hall, where the lightning and rain appeared on the ceiling that always reflected the sky outside. Instantly, Lily felt the excitement drain quickly out of her as she gazed, wide-eyed, at the stormy gray clouds above them. Shivering, she tried to back out of the door.

“Lily.” James's voice made her eyes snap down from the ceiling to his kind face. “If you want, we can leave right now. But if you want to get over it, we have to go in.” Swallowing, she nodded. She could handle this. She wasn't going to give James Potter the satisfaction of seeing her cave, no matter how much she wanted to run away.

Reflecting, she realized that maybe that was why she and James got along so well now that they knew each other better; James was constantly pushing her to do better, and she was always putting him in his place when his ego grew too large.

Gently James led her into the large room by her wrist. She never noticed when she grabbed his hand and laced his fingers through hers. If the grip was painful, he wasn't complaining.

The flashes of light were frightening, but because she had nothing else to do she studied them carefully.

“My dad used to love watching storms.” James's voice was wistful, and Lily lowered her eyes to see that James too was watching the storm, a bittersweet expression on his face.

Everyone who got the Daily Profit knew that James Potter's parents had been killed by Death Eaters last summer. James had been in London at the time, but his parents hadn't been as fortunate. When James had returned home later that night, he found his parents bodies.

Unsure of how to handle the situation, Lily gently rested her hand on James's shoulder. She and James had never been very close, but no one should have to lose both their parents as suddenly and brutally as James had. Lily just wasn't sure how to comfort him.

“He always thought that rain was calming, and lightening was beautiful. My mom would yell at him every time he took me out to see another storm. We'd come back soaking wet, and freezing, but it was always worth it. I think she knew that too, because she always complained when we got back, but the next time there was a storm she'd let us go out again.” Lily knew that the small trail of water running down his face wasn't from the rain. It wasn't pouring inside.

Quickly, James wiped his face and looked down again, but Lily began to understand why James had been so adamant that she overcome her fear of storms. He'd just wanted to share the beauty he saw in the storms with her.

And suddenly, Lily realized that she hadn't jumped or shivered for several minutes. Smiling, she stood up, pulling James up with her. “Let's go outside.” She said, grinning. Somehow, she felt invincible, unbreakable. If this was what facing your fears made you feel, she hoped this euphoria would never end.

James looked up at her, wide-eyed. “Are you crazy?”

Impatient, Lily shook her head and pulled on his hand, which was still holding her own. “No. I just think if I'm going to face my fear, I should face it all the way. Besides, we're in Hogwarts. I'm sure it's well protected! We'll be fine.” James let her pull him to the double doors, unresisting.

Lily didn't even hesitate. She ran out into the downpour, pulling a laughing James with her. Both of them were soaking wet and cold within a few moments, and muddy a few moments after that. Lily twirled in the rain, acting for once like she was much younger than her seventeen years. It was childish, and silly, and to anyone watching them it would've been ridiculous. But for the two head students, it was magical.

When Lily could stand out in the rain without seizing up in fear, when she could laugh and shiver in excitement from the rain, Lily ran up and hugged a very wet and very surprised James. Again, James wasn't complaining.

As Lily pulled back, the rain turned into a light drizzle. Excited green eyes met amused hazel ones, and suddenly both teenagers realized just how close together they were. James quickly let go of Lily's waist, and Lily instantly released James's neck, her face an embarrassed red.

“Um…”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks. For helping me with that, I mean. It was fun.”

“No problem…we should probably head back in though.”

“Yeah…”

Both students headed back towards the castle, neither jumping at the sound of thunder and the flash of lightening. Hand in hand, they headed back to their hot chocolate and their warm common room to work on the new Hogsmeade policy that had been sitting on that coffee table all night, untouched.

The next morning, when Sirius told James about how some idiot had come back into the castle soaking wet, leaving puddles through the halls, he couldn't understand why both he and Lily Evans, who was sitting just a little ways away, started laughing.

Hearing a storm brewing, Lily smiled. She didn't mind a little rain on her wedding day.

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