Steal My Kisses

MeiQueen

Rating: PG13
Genres: Romance
Relationships: Lily & James
Book: Lily & James, Books 1 - 6
Published: 29/09/2005
Last Updated: 08/05/2006
Status: completed

Lily is an average girl who makes mistakes. One day, she finds herself kissing James Potter…when she has a boyfriend. This is the story of the choices and consequences following that rash decision.

Chapters

1. Prologue

2. Technicalities

3. Midnight Kisses

4. What Hurts the Most

5. Ravenclaw vs. Gryffindor

6. Single Scarlet Woman

7. Epilogue

1. Prologue

Story Summary- Lily is an average girl who makes mistakes. One day, she finds herself kissing James Potter…when she has a boyfriend. This is the story of the choices and consequences following that rash decision.

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Steal My Kisses

Mei Queen

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Prologue

I sat back against the red velvet of the armchair, overcome with emotion. How in the world could I possibly get across what had happened? How could I tell you? There were no words coming out, and none that I knew could possibly make this situation any better.

My red hair hung in a tangled mess over my right shoulder, as my emerald eyes stared through the window out into the distance, desperately trying to find something to say. But how could I possibly tell you what I was thinking?

I desperately longed, with every fibre of my being, for Potter.

I think I might be sick at this thought, in fact.

But how I could tell you this…how I could tell my boyfriend of a year, my best friend, my confidante, that I lusted after…hell, might even love, another guy…

Is there really any nice way to say it?

And frankly, the more I sunk into the chair, the more I realized that I really did not know how to say it at all. “You were great, Grant, but I need something fantastic?” No, that’s insensitive. “It’s not you, it’s me?” No, too cliché.

I could be here all day just trying to find the words.

But no words were needed this morning. This morning when I had a passionate morning kiss with a boy I’ve always despised. This morning when my stomach went topsy-turvy and my senses felt like they were down in my feet. This morning when…I realized…I never loved you, Grant.

…This morning when I cheated on you.

It seems for me, Lily Evans, nothing ever happens the way it should. The man of my dreams never finds me when I’m single. My friends can never find the right things to say when I’m upset, and I’m doomed to be permanently ineloquent for the rest of my life.

But such is my story. This is the story of a girl who leaves broken hearts in her wake, but is completely aware and pained because of it. This is the story of Lily and hopefully, of James. This isn’t a story of flowers, of childish giddiness…this is the story of reality and the hearts that hurt because of that sad truth.

*_*

Author’s Note- Way more to come, but I really couldn’t see a way of starting the chapter after this, so I’ve decided to wait for the chapter until the next update…review and tell me what you think of this idea…I know it’s a little nuts, but we’re all human and we all make mistakes, so I wanted a story that portrayed Lily like a normal person who makes silly choices.

2. Technicalities

Steal My Kisses

Mei Queen

Chapter 1: Technicalities

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So how exactly does one accidentally end up locked in a passionate embrace with someone in a broom closet?

That’s quite the question, now, isn’t it?

As I nervously explained to my ecstatic best friend, Annabelle Burton, I didn’t really intend for it to happen.

“At least I don’t think I did,” I said softly, leaning over to her as we chatted quietly in a remote corner of the Gryffindor Common Room that evening.

“Well, did he come on to you or you to him?” Annabelle said, her strawberry blonde hair falling into her face and eyes lighting up with the excitement that only new gossip can bring.

“Possibly both. It just happened so quickly…Snape tripped me in the hallway, James hexed him, and just as I went to scold him for using magic outside of class and on another student - ultimately I had take away house points from both the boys, though that scum Snape totally deserved what was coming to him…I looked up into James’ eyes. All of a sudden, I couldn’t really remember nor care what I was supposed to be doing,” I finished, vaguely aware that I was dazedly focused on the ceiling in awe and twirling a long strand of my scarlet hair around my finger.

“That’s so exciting!” she replied in her extremely high-pitched voice that she saved for monumental events. “I’ve always wondered if you two would get together…the Head Boy and Head Girl. You know, you guys are just too passionate to not end up sleeping together.”

I looked at her with disgust. “Sleeping together? Dear Merlin, Annabelle. I just kissed the boy; I’m not having his child.”

“Yet,” Annabelle said with a mischievous smile and glint in her bright blue eyes. “Can I be godmother by the way?”

I rolled my emerald eyes with exasperation. “Sure. Why not? But aren’t you going to scold me for doing something so stupid?”

She smiled at me wearily. “Lily, I can’t presume to tell you what guy is right or wrong for you. But I can tell you that I have never seen you as excited about a boy as I do right now, and frankly, it’s really refreshing. We aren’t meant to meet soul mates like you met Grant…why do you think very few high school sweethearts get married? Your relationship with Grant was a relationship of convenience…you’re both gorgeous people who happen to go to the same school. But haven’t you thought of the fact that maybe he’s not the one for you?”

It was really unusual, this talent that Annabelle had. It was really why we were best friends…her odd ability to go from playful jokes to serious advice made her the ultimate companion. I have never known anyone else like Annabelle, because I don’t think that anyone else exists.

I scoffed slightly in response. “The one? I think if I ever get engaged to Grant, you have full permission to slap me.”

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Annabelle’s soft voice jogged me from my thoughts. “Speaking of him, have you told Grant yet?”

The angry guilt boiling in my stomach threatened to curdle at these solidifying words. It was real. That moment in the broom closet with James…happened. It wasn’t a fantasy that I could just pass off…was it?

And yet, as James shook off the dirt from Quidditch practice still stuck to his robes as he climbed through the portrait hole, his eyes met mine…and something had definitely changed. Instead of an irritated glance for staring, James’ eyes were the picture of serenity. A secret smile and a nod were enough to make me realize that he was just as much on Cloud Nine about this morning as I was.

But what to tell my boyfriend was quite another story.

Grant Ashcroft, heartthrob of Ravenclaw Quidditch and part of the top five in our class (the other four included myself, Potter, Remus Lupin, and Frank Longbottom), had been my steady other half for a year now. Part of Grant’s appeal (though it wasn’t as appealing a trait anymore) was the fact that he was so hopelessly stable. Rather than proposing a challenge to my tempestuous nature, Grant preferred to “roll with the punches” and just agree with whatever I said.

We had definitely had quite a few boring conversations.

But for all of his flaws, to his credit, he always stood by me and stood up for me. Grant made me feel like there was no other girl in the world as treasured and well protected as me. Grant had definitely done his part of defender and wonderful boyfriend.

…which is what makes this so hard.

It is so much easier to feel sympathetic for a character in a story when said character genuinely has it bad…when their situation is so pitiable, that their actions are simply a result of their dire circumstances. But is it ever that way in real life?

The older I grow, the more I find that there is no clear-cut answer to anything. Life is not just yes or no, true or false…there’s so much grey area.

As I lazily turn my eyes toward James Potter, who was currently slowly ascending the staircase, I realize that the grey area in my life is Potter. Never have I felt the passion in my chicken pecks with Grant on lavish velvet four-poster beds that I felt this morning in that cramped and uncomfortable broom closet. Never have I felt the desire, the vulnerability, and the very sensation of being alive until this morning…

And can I ever really go back?

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We weren’t always enemies, James and I. We actually used to be quite good friends towards the start of Hogwarts…James was always much more sensitive to Muggle-born wizards and witches than many of his other cold-hearted but pure-blooded counterparts. James Potter started to make my life very difficult towards the beginning of fourth year, however, when he found out that I had got Prefect and he had not. Though Remus emphatically stated that James was just as content pulling pranks and disobeying rules as he ever was, I knew that something had to cause his sudden frigidity towards me.

Of course, there were those three Hogsmeade trips he invited me on that I politely declined (I did have a boyfriend at the time, to my credit) and the Chocolate Frog Collection he gave me for my birthday that I didn’t eat (it’s not my fault I’m bloody lactose intolerant)…well, all in all I suppose we’ve had our fair share of misunderstandings over the years. The main trouble with that is that both of us are too stubborn to correct the misunderstandings.

But there has always been something different about my relationship with James than my relationship with any other boy. There is more passion in one argument with James than I have had in my entire relationship with Grant, and I have never known emotions as I know them in James’ presence. When I’m around James, it feels like everything is immediately…amplified. My anger gets fiercer (I’ve been told that I’m worse around James than I would be with all my PMS in an entire year put together), my sadness gets gloomier…and on the rare occasions that I’m happy around James, I feel like I own the world. He’s just the kind of magnetic person that you really want to make laugh or smile, just so you can bask in his crooked grin. I would never admit the fact to anyone but Annabelle, but every time that I’m around him, I wish I could be funny like Sirius, or a close friend like Remus…someone that he trusts and cares about just as much.

But nobody will ever know that. Thank Merlin.

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“What am I going to do?” I wailed to Annabelle and Emmeline for what felt like the fifth time today. In fact, it probably was the fifth time…James was all I had been talking about all day.

Annabelle and I had decided that since Emmeline shared our dorm, she was trustworthy with this valuable secret. But while Annabelle had egged me on in this forbidden crush, Emmeline preferred to take the responsible side of things and ask about the issues at hand.

“But…what about Grant, Lily? He’ll be devastated,” Emmeline said softly, twirling her jet-black hair around her finger thoughtfully.

“I know, Em,” I said irritably, pulling my knees up to my chest as I huddled in my four-poster. “I’m not exactly thrilled with the development, either.”

And I wasn’t. That day, when Grant had come up to me at lunch for our daily kiss, I could literally feel the guilt boiling in my stomach. I couldn’t bear the thought of lying to him, but I also hated the idea of hurting him. So instead I was caught in a near-purgatory, an unhappy limbo of mixed emotions.

During that same lunch period, I saw James surrounded by all of his friends. I couldn’t hear exactly what they were saying, but I was close enough to overhear bits and pieces. “She’s still dating Grant last I heard, man…” and “Are you actually going to try to win her over?”

I didn’t get to hear James’ answer, but his brow had furrowed upon the posing of the question, and he got that determined look in his eye- the very same look I had glimpsed the previous year when Gryffindor was in last place for the House Cup, and only a spectacular victory in the final Quidditch match between Gryffindor and Slytherin (James was Captain, of course) could have sealed ownership of both the House and Quidditch Cups to Gryffindor…and indeed, James had pulled it off. He very nearly killed himself trying, but that was beside the point. So I could definitely guess what the determined look meant this time.

James was going to try to win me over.

*_*

“Why can’t this all just go away?” I asked Annabelle later that night, as I lay on the bed with my head in her lap. I had filled her in on the gossip I overheard at lunch, and now she was playing with my hair and chewing on a piece of Drooble’s Best Blowing Gum.

“Lily…”she said softly while running her slender fingers through my scarlet mane, “I really think that if it could go away, I, for one, still wouldn’t want it to. I think that the choices we make (even though they might seem downright idiotic at the time) shape the people we become. Lily, if you hadn’t had that run-in with James, you might have stayed this way too long, Merlin, possibly graduated in the…state you’re in.”

Annabelle could tell she was treading on dangerous ground, and so her voice began to trail off towards the end of her sentence.

I look up at her with an annoyed scowl. “And what state would that be, exactly?”

Her ocean-colour eyes flickered wearily. “You only worry about school, Lils. I mean, yes, you care about me and I completely adore our friendship…but you only stay in your relationship with Grant because he won’t change. You fear change. Lily, if nothing else, the threat of You-Know-Who should be teaching us to embrace change. When we leave these walls in a few months, we have no guarantees that our loved ones will even make it through the following fortnight. You don’t love Grant, Lily.”

I sat up and brought my knees to my chest. Laying my head on them, I scoffed and replied, “Don’t state the obvious, Belle…we all know I don’t love Grant. But I really don’t think I knew that until Potter kissed me. You know the phrase ‘ignorance is bliss’? That’s really why I wish I could get a big Time Turner and completely redo the last few days. If I hadn’t had that moment with Potter, if I hadn’t tasted the passion that was missing, I wouldn’t be any the wiser. I’ve bitten off the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge, and I’m just waiting for God to come and banish me from the garden.”

Annabelle patted my knee gently and smiled at me. Wordlessly, she left to walk downstairs. She knew better than anyone else when I needed to be alone.

Even though I said that speech with a steady voice, the inside of me was screaming. I felt like nothing in my world was stable. So many thoughts were swimming in my head at the moment that I didn’t know where one thought ended and another began. How do I tell Grant? I’m going to die from guilt if I don’t tell him soon! Belle is right…I need to be living my life to the fullest in my remaining year at Hogwarts! I’ve made Head Girl already (to Potter’s Head Boy, much to my dismay), so why do I continue to drive myself to the brink with studying? I need to learn how to live before I can be expected to live on my own.

And underneath all those nagging concerns, there was one underlying question that I was trying desperately to ignore:

Do I love James Potter?

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Author’s Note- Sorry we haven’t gotten into any real action parts of the plot yet…I just know that when I have terrible things like this happen to me, I feel the need to incubate with my closest girlfriends for a few days and lick my wounds. Lily will be out there soon enough, only to find two Romeos to her confused Juliet.

Review, people! I love hearing from you all! To TCD on Portkey.org, I generally have much longer chapters than the Prologue (as you can see by the length of this one …on average, my chapters are around 2000 words). But I just didn’t see a place or really feel the need to lengthen the Prologue, I just wanted it to establish the situation and Lily’s feelings about it. Thank you for the feedback, though! To loonymoony8 on Portkey, I didn’t send you an email back just because I already had about half the chapter done a week ago (so I knew the update would be soon)…I’ve spent the past week just trying to figure out where to end the chapter, lol! Thanks for your review! I loved all my reviews! You guys rock my socks!

3. Midnight Kisses

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Steal My Kisses

Mei Queen

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Chapter 2: Midnight Kisses

I looked out into the bright starry night, hugging my knees closely to my chest. It’s cold out tonight, I thought with a shiver.

It had been two weeks since I, Lily Evans, reputable and responsible Head Girl, passionately kissed James Potter in a broom closet. James Potter, a person I was most definitely not seeing at the time. I still have not let my boyfriend, Grant Ashcroft, in on the truth of the matter.

He really doesn’t need to know…it was a harmless kiss. It meant nothing, I tried to reassure myself.

Deep down, however, I was unsettled. This was the fourth night in a row I had come up to the Astronomy Tower after hours. I couldn’t think in my dorm. Annabelle and Emmeline kept asking questions. I couldn’t stay in the Common Room because I ran the risk of running into Potter. I had been avoiding Grant altogether, a fact he had reacted to with slightly longer hugs at lunch and far more wistful goodbyes.

It felt like he knew our time together was coming to an end.

It doesn’t have to, a side of my head protested reasonably. You could forget the kiss, move on, get back into the swing of things with Grant full-force and be...completely…completely adequate.

“But what if I don’t want adequate?!” I found myself protesting aloud, slamming my fist on the smooth concrete.

Clutching my hand in pain, I leaned back against the wall, lost in my own depressing thoughts.

*_*

“I need to find out what is going on!” James Potter shouted irritably at his three best friends in the world- Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew, also known to the majority of the school as “The Marauders”.

“Prongs. Please. Calm down. She will come to you when she wants to talk,” Sirius Black said softly, using James’ nickname in an attempt to calm him slightly.

“It’s been half a month, Padfoot! What if she isn’t planning on discussing it ever again? I can’t let this slip through my fingers! This was the closest I’ve ever come to Lily. I’ve had a thing for her for…”

“Three years,” Peter supplied wearily.

“Yes, thank you, Wormtail. Three years, Padfoot! And I finally got to kiss her! I got to smell her…she smells like cinnamon, mixed with something sweet that I can’t quite place. I’ve never been so close to her before without her pulling away or rejecting me! And now, you want me to wait for her to come to me?!”

“Well, yes, that about sums it up, yes,” Sirius said exasperatedly, leaning back onto his mattress.

Remus looked up from the homework he was doing in the window seat. “Prongs, she will come to you. She hasn’t been the same. I’ve heard from Emmeline that she isn’t even sleeping, she’s out until all hours of the night because she can’t stop thinking. Trust me. Lily will crack. I give her a week.”

While the rest of the Marauders began taking bets as to when I would completely lose my sanity, a thought entered James’ head. Out ‘til all hours of the night? I wonder where she goes…and I wonder if a certain boyfriend goes with her…

Grabbing a worn piece of parchment, his wand and his Invisibility Cloak, James Potter headed out the door to his dorm.

“Hey mate, where are you going?” Peter called curiously.

“I think I’m going to take a bath in the Prefects’ Bathroom. Clear my head. I’ll be back later.”

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Finally emerging in the hallway after completely exiting the Gryffindor dorms entirely, James put his wand to the parchment. “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good,” he recited softly.

The map sprung to life. He found Lily’s dot after a few minutes, stationary in the Astronomy Tower. There was no “Grant Ashcroft” dot around her to be seen.

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James Potter walked softly into the Astronomy Tower, Invisibility Cloak still safely fastened, not wanting to disturb me in my thoughts.

I was still extremely frustrated, occasionally muttering things in my upset reverie like “so unfair”, “much better kisser”, “life doesn’t make sense”, and much to my embarrassment later, “Why does Potter have to have such a nice arse?”

James was content to sit and watch the way my scarlet locks glinted in the moonlight, lost in thoughts of his own.

We were happily sitting when our silence was suddenly disturbed. Grant Ashcroft himself walked loudly in, his shoes echoing on the stone floor.

“Hi honey,” he said softly, walking over to the bench where I was sitting.

“Hi,” I managed, eyes focused on the moon.

James was regarding us warily from beneath his cloak. He watch Grant walk up to me, put his arms around me, and kiss me on top of the head, his hands balled up into angry fists the entire time.

“What are you doing up here? I noticed the door at the bottom of the stairs open, and I only knew one person who wouldn’t get in severe trouble by you for being up here,” Grant said teasingly, his tan features curving into a smile.

James smacked his forehead softly. Honestly, man. Was that supposed to be funny? She’s just going to think you’re insulting her.

I turned to Grant and smiled, laughing softly, even though inside I didn’t really feel like laughing.

James looked, stunned, from me to Grant. What in the name of Merlin? This is unfair. If I said anything like that, she would have bitten my head off.

Grant was still smiling, and now taking in the stunning view. Apparently he didn’t notice my real reaction to his statement.

Okay, Lily, I thought nervously to myself, stringing my hands. Pull yourself together.

With a deep breath, I began to talk. “Grant, I have something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

James’ eyes bugged.

Grant, meanwhile, turned to me attentively. “Yes, honey?”

James made a gagging face at the nickname from his spot on the floor.

“W-well…it happened a couple weeks ago. I’ve been meaning to tell you. I-it just seemed so insignificant, really…”

Grant nodded for me to continue, an eyebrow cocked curiously.

“I k-kissed someone two weeks ago. Or, well, maybe he kissed me. It really wasn’t that big of a deal, though.”

He let out a sigh. “I knew something was wrong. You’ve been distant for weeks. Well. This clears it up. We need to clear up a few things, though.”

I nodded for him to continue, slightly shocked at his extremely placid reaction.

“Do you want to stay with me? Do you care about this guy?”

I looked up at Grant, seeing those beautiful understanding brown eyes. Those eyes that had helped me through letters from Petunia, bad Transfiguration marks, terrible insurrection from the prejudiced Slytherins…and I didn’t know what to say. Honestly. I had no bloody idea. I didn’t want to hurt him. Grant was pompous and ridiculous sometimes, sure. But he was my best friend aside from Annabelle. He knew me like nobody else. And standing by him, I suddenly couldn’t remember what I had seen in James. I had lived without James Potter for all the years he had hit on me. And now, my ever-faithful and wonderful boyfriend was saying that that one kiss was just a kiss, and if I wanted to stay, I could. How much more fabulous could a boy get?

“Yes, I’d like to stay,” I said softly, purposefully ignoring the second question, a fact that Grant didn’t seem to register.

I thought I heard footsteps angrily descend the staircase.

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At the bottom of the staircase, Grant and I (holding hands, naturally) ran into none other than James Potter himself.

“Look who’s out of bed,” James said in a somewhat sarcastic voice, making eye contact with me. He looked completely livid.

Somewhat unsure of what to do, I simply opened my mouth in shock.

Grant, however, was never speechless. “I was doing my patrol, and Lily here was somewhat upset...this is where she goes when she has too much on her plate.”

Looking at Grant irritably for giving away my hiding place, my eyes made contact with James’. I suddenly didn’t mind so much. Sure, it was James Potter, the boy who had given me a nearly constant headache since he decided he liked me three years ago. But at the end of the day, it was also James Potter, the only boy in my year who made sure I wasn’t hurt when I fell off my broom in the first years’ flying lesson. It was James Potter, who had stayed up with me all night when I was crying hysterically in the Common Room last Christmas. Annabelle had gone home, and I had just received a letter from Petunia at home stating “how much better the holiday has been with no freaks around”. James always joked with me that his parents taking a vacation over Christmas break was the best thing that had ever happened to him and the shirt that I completely ruined with my salty tears.

And suddenly I couldn’t remember why I didn’t want James to know absolutely everything about me and my simple life.

“Well, I’m sure Lily’s got a terribly busy life, what with all her Head duties. Did she tell you that now they’re making us check all the broom closets personally?” James asked; a smart-arse self-satisfied expression on his face.

My jaw dropped as I continued to look into James’ insinuating eyes. I felt a thrill run through me as my mind flashed to that cramped and passionate morning just two weeks ago.

Grant was, as usual, oblivious to this, and replied, “No, she didn’t. Wow, that’s ridiculous. I thought that was a caretaker job.”

I cleared my throat nervously. “Erhm. Yeah. It used to be, but apparently Filch has too much on his plate these days to do menial stuff like opening broom closets.”

Grant laughed softly. “Honestly. What do they pay that guy for?”

“I’ll say,” James said fiercely, maintaining the eye contact with me, a frustrated expression on his face.

But as quick as the eye contact had begun, it was abruptly broken. After a quick muttering somewhere in the sentiments of “good night”, James stomped back in the direction of the Gryffindor dorms, but he was apparently feeling civil enough to wait for me at the end of the hall.

Seeing this as an encouraging sign, I allowed Grant to give me a peck on the cheek before sprinting down the hall to where James was standing.

*-*

“So,” James said stiffly after we had been walking in silence awhile.

“So…” I answered softly, trying to get him to make eye contact with me. After an unsuccessful attempt to get him to pay attention to me, I sighed in frustration and planted my feet firmly into the floor. “James. Why are you angry with me?”

James stopped walking and turned to face me, a deadly look on his face. “Don’t play stupid, Lily. You know perfectly well why I’m angry.”

“Oh, so this is about Grant then?” I asked irritably.

“Of course it’s about him!” James spat out in frustration. “We kissed, Lily. There were sparks. You kissed me back. I’ve waited three years for something like this to happen. And you…you just throw it away like it…like it meant nothing!”

My eyes started to prickle. Of course it meant something, Potter, you dolt. I just don’t know how to say it. “It’s not that, James,” was the best I could get out. A start, nonetheless.

“Oh yeah?” he challenged. “Well, what is it, then? Enlighten me, Lily. Explain to me why you obviously felt something in a kiss and yet decided to pass it off as nothing and continue stringing along Grant my-Arse-is-up-my-Croft.”

I giggled softly despite myself. “James…the kiss was great. But I…I’ve been with Grant for a year. You don’t give up a relationship like that based on one kiss.”

James Potter’s hazel eyes looked desperate. Frantically meeting my own emerald ones, he asked fiercely, “Do you give up a relationship for two?”

Face contorted in surprise as I realized what he was about to do, he didn’t allow a word in edgewise as he grabbed my face and tilted it up to meet his, pushing his body against mine for one of the most passionate and fantastic kisses of my life…pressed up against a wall in the Charms corridor, completely after curfew.

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4. What Hurts the Most

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Steal My Kisses

Mei Queen

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Authoress’ Note- This chapter is loosely based on the new single from Rascal Flatts, “What Hurts the Most”. Even though that song deals with a girl abruptly leaving a relationship without allowing the guy a shot to explain, I thought it would be a good insight into how James feels right now, given that Lily won’t leave the safety of Grant to give him a chance. Please review, I always love hearing from you all! If you haven’t yet checked out my website, www.geocities.com/meleana317, I urge you to do so and sign my guestbook! Thank you all so much, you rock my socks!

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PREVIOUS-

I giggled softly despite myself. “James…the kiss was great. But I…I’ve been with Grant for a year. You don’t give up a relationship like that based on one kiss.”

James Potter’s hazel eyes looked desperate. Frantically meeting my own emerald ones, he asked fiercely, “Do you give up a relationship for two?”

Face contorted in surprise as I realized what he was about to do, he didn’t allow a word in edgewise as he grabbed my face and tilted it up to meet his, pushing his body against mine for one of the most passionate and fantastic kisses of my life…pressed up against a wall in the Charms corridor, completely after curfew.

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Chapter 3: What Hurts the Most

My whole body felt like it was surging with electricity. This was real. This was passionate. This was somehow even more intense than the morning in the broom closet just a few weeks ago.

But it was wrong. As much I was loathe to break the touch, and I much as my body was protesting for it to continue, every fibre of my being knew that this…whatever this was with Potter…was wrong. It was wrong because Grant was kind, caring, and funny. I already had a boyfriend, and he was perfect…well, really close, anyway. What in the name of Merlin was I thinking, standing here and not only allowing James to kiss me madly, but kissing him back with just the same amount of intensity?

I felt like even my fingers were resisting as I brought my hands up to land on his chest in a futile effort to push him away. Taking it as an encouraging gesture, though, James put a hand into my hair, massaging my scalp, tilting my head slightly upward to deepen the kiss.

And I’m not going to lie. I completely forgot why I was trying to break the kiss. It was a magnificent snogging session, really…it was warm and passionate, just like all good ones should be. But it had a…an X factor. Something I couldn’t definitely identify. However, I knew enough to know that these few kisses with James Potter were infinitely different than all the previous romantic experiences I had ever had.

It took picturing Grant Ashcroft’s completely crushed expression if he were to see me now to strengthen my resolve and push James away. “Stop. Please. Just…stop it, James,” I whispered softly, sliding down the wall to land in a crumpled heap on the floor.

I don’t know what made the tears come. But there they were. Normally I, Lily Evans, was extremely composed, calm, and collected. But right now, between Grant’s thoughtfulness of the night and James’ sensuality, I felt on the verge of an emotional breakdown.

Though he initially looked hurt and slightly angry when I pushed him away, seeing my sobbing form was enough to banish any anger, at least temporarily.

“Lily. What’s wrong? You never cry. Are you okay?” he asked with concern, trying to tilt my face up to his.

But I kept my face trained on the floor. I knew that if I looked at him, I’d probably lose control and start kissing him again. I was in enough of a moral dilemma as it was, thank you. Well, that and my face probably looked horribly blotchy from all of the tears that were now rapidly leaving my eyes.

“Well, let’s see, Potter. I’m crying. I’m on the cold stone floor of the Charms corridor after curfew, and I’ll probably be caught by one of the professors…and you know what? Today, I couldn’t honestly give a shit. I’m miserable and upset. I’m confused, and…and I have no idea why I’m even telling you this. You’re the root of the problem!” I exclaimed, exasperatedly throwing my hands up in air and getting up to leave.

“Wait,” James said softly, putting a hand on my arm to stop me. “Please.”

“What could you possibly have to say to me, James?” I asked exhaustedly, turning to face him. Wiping some tears from my eyes, I tried to avoid eye contact with him while he spoke.

“That I care. That I’m better for you than Grant. That I feel more passion with you than I’ve felt with anyone. That I came to tell you tonight that I’ve cared about you for years, and just came to the conclusion tonight when we were kissing…that…I love you.”

I remember my eyes bugging slightly before I fainted.

-*-

Though the world still felt extremely fuzzy and dark, I could make out two distinct voices- one male, one female.

“What the hell did you do to her?” the female one screeched. Annabelle, my mind registered happily. But that had to mean…

“I told her I loved her,” the grim male voice replied. Oh, shit. Fantastic, I thought drearily. Maybe I should pretend to be in a coma. If I sleep for a few days, maybe Potter will forget about me, and my life will go back to normal. …But would I really want it to?

“Well, that was stupid,” Annabelle replied in her usual blunt and matter-of-fact way.

James sounded slightly jarred by her response, as if he’d never been criticized before (which I slightly doubted that he had), when he responded, “Why?”

“Because Lily is commitment-phobic, dating someone else, and there’s that small snag that she hated you before two weeks ago,” she answered, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Hate? Isn’t that a strong word?”

“You’re right. ‘Extremely disliked’ is more accurate,” Annabelle deadpanned.

“Whatever. Just tell her I was here, okay? Get me if she wakes up,” James requested irritably, and I could hear the sound of a chair squeaking on the floor and then his footsteps as he crossed and, to my great relief, exited the Wing.

“Like I’d notify you before her actual boyfriend,” Annabelle muttered under her breath, looking over to me. I “miraculously” woke up when I heard the door to the Hospital Wing close, a fact that Annabelle was just now registering.

“Nice act there,” she said, giving me her best ‘I’m onto you’ look.

“What act?” I asked innocently, hoping I looked sincere.

“The ‘oh, I’m busy being a demure sleeper’ act. I happen to know that you drool in your sleep. You also usually mutter incoherent sentences. You were making no noise at all for the last five minutes while I argued with Potter…but you’re lucky, as I don’t put ‘snitch’ under my list of best friend responsibilities.”

I snorted, smiling slightly at her familiar sarcasm. “You caught me,” I said with a laugh.

“So… what happened?” Bella asked cautiously after a few moments of silence.

“What time is it?” I asked, slightly disoriented by the amount of light that was pouring into the wing.

“About 10, I’d wager. It’s the weekend, though, so no worries about classes or anything like that. But back to what I asked. What happened?”

“Good question. It involved considerable snogging and an ‘I love you’,” I said grimly, taking a swig of water from the goblet by my bedside.

“You finally told Potter how you feel?” she asked excitedly, her bright blue eyes lighting up.

“Actually, no. And I don’t love Potter…well, I don’t think I do. But he told me. That’s what caused the fainting part,” I finished softly.

“Well. Isn’t that just a kick? Two boys who love you, both fabulous guys…you wouldn’t terribly mind either one…this is the kind of situation most girls would only dream of being in you know. All we need is a fight between them, and then I think I’ll forge your permission to make a ludicrous amount of money selling your life to Hollywood.”

“Thanks for the moral support there, best friend,” I said cynically, lying back on my pillows and looking up at the ceiling, lost in my thoughts. I don’t know what to do. Should I tell Grant about the kiss last night? This is ridiculous. I re-commit with vigour to our relationship, and then can’t even leave the corridor without ending up in the arms of another guy…another guy who is a slightly better kisser than Grant. Mmm.

“No prob. Oh, and Potter wanted to know when you woke up, so I suppose I should go get him. That’s what a good best friend would do, right?” Annabelle asked sweetly, her strawberry blonde locks falling into her eyes. I swear I could see the evil glint. Oh, great. She’s declared herself ‘Cupid’ to me and Potter.

“Shouldn’t you get Grant? Seeing as we’re together?!”

“Well, it’s remarkably difficult to tell by your excursions of late, darling,” she replied with a giggle. I knew she was just teasing, but a part of me…deep down…knew that there was real truth to what she was saying. Sooner or later, the rumours would start. Grant was Hufflepuff Quidditch Captain, James was the Captain for Gryffindor, not to mention Head Boy, and I was the Head Girl. We were all popular, well-liked people. Sooner or later, Grant would hear about James from whispers in the hallway…but I wanted to get to him first.

-*-

“Lily! How are you doing?” I heard James Potter’s concerned voice echoing through the hall. Obviously Annabelle can’t follow directions…she got me Potter, I thought to myself irritably. Note to self- when hospitalized because two boys love me…get Emmeline to help.

Grudgingly sitting up and trying to flatten my flyaway hair, I met his hazel eyes with my own. “Confused. Irritated. Slightly hungry.”

A slight smile lit up his rugged features as he pulled up a chair by my bedside. “Well, I can’t really do much about the first two, but I can nick some food from the kitchens, if you’d like. I know Madam Pomfrey probably isn’t likely to get you butterbeer and those treacle tarts you love.”

As much as I would like to be irritated with him, I did find myself cracking a grateful smile. The food in this wing was absolutely terrible. I slowly nodded, big grin lighting up my face considerably. “Sounds yummy.”

James reached over and affectionately ruffled my scarlet locks, before saying that he would be back in a few minutes with my feast.

It was barely a minute before the door creaked open again.

I was about to make a smart wisecrack about how easily Potter could get lost, before I realised that the person at the door was most definitely not James- it was Grant Ashcroft, my boyfriend. Maybe Annabelle got both of them, I thought, panicking. No, even she wouldn’t be that desperate to meddle in my love-life!

“Hi honey, McGonagall told me you were in here,” he said softly, gingerly sitting at my bedside and laying a hand casually across my feet. “How are you doing?”

Nervously rubbing my hands together, I looked up to meet his eyes. “Um…I’m okay, thanks. How are you?”

“Great, now that I know we’re really committed, sweetheart,” he finished softly, reaching over to give me a peck on the cheek.

Wow. I’ve never understood the thought of guilt boiling in a stomach, but now I totally understand what that means…it’s quite convenient that I’m in the Hospital Wing, really, because I feel like I’m going to be sick. I’m not the lying type. This is really hard. I feel so terrible about that kiss last night. True, I didn’t initiate it, but I responded! That’s basically just as bad, I berated myself in my thoughts like this for a few minutes, trying to focus on the ceiling tiles just so I wouldn’t have to meet my boyfriend’s adoring gaze.

Gathering my resolve, I looked at him. I opened my mouth to tell him about the kiss the night before, about how confused I was, about how we couldn’t continue dating until I was positive that Grant was the one for me. But when my eyes caught his caring, sweet ones, all that came out was, “Yeah. Committed. Great.”

-*-

Yeah, committed? What the fuck is she doing?! James Potter angrily thought to himself, leaving the door to the wing where he was eavesdropping. He had far more food than he needed, not to mention James really hated treacle tarts, but he just couldn’t go into that wing to give me the food. He couldn’t interrupt. Reality would hit him too fast that way. He really was the “other guy”. Maybe Lily wanted to be with Grant… if he found that out, then how would he feel?! He had always assumed that her readiness to kiss him resulted from extreme dissatisfaction in her current relationship, but “committed, great” didn’t sound very dissatisfied to him! Why was he wasting his time with this?

Because he loved the hell out of Lily Evans, that’s why he was wasting his time with this.

Slamming his hand angrily at the stone wall next to him, he threw her food into a nearby rubbish bin and headed out the double doors to the school. There was a place James always went to when his world didn’t seem to be going right. He came up with his best plans and pranks there. It was his spot.

Climbing slowly onto his rock by the lake, he gathered his knees to his chest, and looked down into the placid water. “What should I do?” he asked himself in frustration, throwing a pebble into the lake. “How can I make her understand?”

Resting his head on his knees, he realized something. Lily obviously understood, but she didn’t care.

James tried to put the depressing thought out of his head, but as soon as it occurred to him, he knew it must be true. If she really cared, she would have broken up with Grant and come up to him begging to be his and only his for all time, right? At least, that’s what she did in all the dreams he had of the event (of which he had had many, naturally). “It’s just wrong,” he said softly out loud. “She didn’t even give me a chance.”

Watching the waves ripple across the dark water, James Potter finally came to his conclusion. If she didn’t want him, then he would back off. James wasn’t going to go out of his way to see her. He wasn’t going to be the sweet, thoughtful guy she came to when she was bored with her boyfriend. He was tired of that. James cared about her, sure, but she was making him absolutely miserable by agreeing to Grant and not giving James a chance to prove himself as a good boyfriend. James knew he could make Lily happy. He didn’t know how…but he just knew.

Besides, she had gotten involved with him in the broom closet out of her own volition. She hadn’t been forced against a wall (like last night, for example). Lily had had every opportunity to get away. If he left her alone with this boyfriend long enough, Remus had to be right- she would come to him.

-*-

5. Ravenclaw vs. Gryffindor

-*-

Steal My Kisses

Mei Queen

-*-

Authoress’ Note- There probably won’t be too many chapters left in this story; I’ve actually already decided how I want it to end. But please review. I’m going on vacation (I wanted to update for all of you before I left), and won’t be back ‘til next Friday. It would just be really cool if I came back to a bunch of reviews in my inbox, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and loved! P.S. A bunch of you pointed out that Grant was supposed to be in Ravenclaw, not Hufflepuff. All I can say is, oops, my bad. I’m juggling five stories, and I really wish there was a MeiQueen Lexicon, but sadly, I’m not that popular. Agh. Sorry, though. You’re all right, I’m wrong. Grant is supposed to be in the Ravenclaw, like I said in the Prologue…or wherever it was that I said it…

-*-

PREVIOUS-

James cared about her, sure, but she was making him absolutely miserable by agreeing to Grant and not giving James a chance to prove himself as a good boyfriend. James knew he could make Lily happy. He didn’t know how…but he just knew.

Besides, she had gotten involved with him in the broom closet out of her own volition. She hadn’t been forced against a wall (like last night, for example). Lily had had every opportunity to get away. If he left her alone with this boyfriend long enough, Remus had to be right- she would come to him.

-*-

Chapter 4- Ravenclaw vs. Gryffindor

I sighed, bringing my knees up to my chest as I stared intently into the dying embers. It was late. Really late, like one in the morning. But since it was a Saturday night, it really didn’t matter when I woke up the next morning, thankfully. It had been three weeks since I was shut up in the Hospital Wing because of the stresses of Potter and Grant, and since I re-committed to Grant Ashcroft.

What am I doing? Why wasn’t I honest with Grant when I had the chance? We should be broken up by now…we barely see each other, and when we do, there really isn’t a whole lot to say! It’s so frustrating! I know what I need to do, but I don’t know how to do it. I don’t want to hurt him, because he really hasn’t done anything to deserve me going off and snogging Potter…that’s another thing. Where has Potter been? For the past two years, he has asked me out biweekly. I haven’t spoken to or seen him (except at Head duties) in three weeks… he barely even looks at me. I don’t know what to do. We were really warming up to each other, and now, he’s practically an iceberg. I don’t know what could be causing it…unless…he’s decided to give up on me? Maybe he’s decided I’m not worth the trouble? How would I feel if I didn’t have James Potter there for me all the time? I’ve always complained what a big pain he was to deal with and what an egotistical prat he could be…but if he wasn’t there at all anymore…how would I feel?

My thoughts were interrupted as I heard a swish as the portrait swung open, ushering in four boys out way after curfew- the Marauders.

Turning to them, I realized that I really couldn’t be bothered to care where they were or why they were there. It was irresponsible, but I didn’t feel like deducting points. Indeed, the boys stopped in guilty shock at my gaze.

“Well? Aren’t you going to deduct a ridiculous amount of points?” Sirius Black prompted, seemingly at a loss at my impassive expression.

“No. I don’t care. Just go to your dorm.”

“But…but? Lily? Are you okay?” Remus asked quietly, walking over to bend down and meet my eyes. Remus Lupin is a sweetheart; he and I have been there for each since I realized he was a werewolf back in the fifth year.

I smiled, waving to show that it really wasn’t that important. I allowed Remus to give me a short hug, and I resumed my staring contest with the fireplace, not bothering to see if the boys had exited. My thoughts about James and Grant resumed, and I felt some warm tears slowly slip down my cheeks.

But if I had kept my eyes trained on the doorway to the boys’ dorms, I would have noticed a certain raven-haired boy lingering, looking as if his heart was breaking more with each of my tears that fell.

-*-

“Lily? Do you have anything to add?” James Potter asked cautiously during the prefects’ meeting that Friday.

“Huh? Oh. No…have a good weekend, everyone,” I muttered, picking up my bag and turning for the door. Gathering my courage, I waited outside the doorway for all the prefects to file out, all happily joking about the upcoming Quidditch match between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor.

Soon enough, I saw just the boy I was looking for, and I tapped him on the shoulder as he walked out joking with Remus.

“James? Can I talk to you?”

I thought I could see the ghost of a grin on his face at my question, but he nodded and allowed me to lead him off to a desolate corner of the hallway.

“What’s up?” he asked, running a hand through his hair and fixing his hazel eyes on my own.

“Not a lot, I suppose. Actually, nothing has happened. That’s exactly the problem. Everything’s as it was three weeks ago,” I said exasperatedly, throwing my hands up in the air. I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to say to Potter, really, I was just hoping that if I babbled long enough, the correct sentiment would magically make its way out.

“Then I don’t see what you could possibly have to say to me,” James said coldly, his eyes wary. The mood had suddenly changed. That spark in his eyes had dissipated and the ease of our conversation had gone with it.

“I just- I don’t know what I want to say to you…I guess…I think my main point that I wanted to say…”

“Yes?” he asked, looking down at me with hope beginning to spark in his expression.

“I miss you. You haven’t talked to me, even asked me out; in three weeks…it’s the longest we’ve gone fifth year without interacting. And I miss you,” I finished sincerely, exhaling and twiddling my thumbs as I waited for his response.

He chuckled slightly. “I didn’t know you noticed.”

“Of course I noticed! I haven’t even heard one rumour from a first year about us going for a secret rendezvous in the Heads Room in at least a month!”

“I thought you hated those rumours,” James whispered, meeting my eyes and flashing a smile.

“I do. Well, I did…I thought I did. They aren’t that bad, once you don’t have them anymore.”

“Remember that one about how we were pairing all the prefects up just so we could patrol together and snog in the Astronomy Tower with nobody being the wiser? That was a pretty brilliant one, it’s one of my personal favourites,” he said, chuckling.

“Or how you taught me how to fly just so we could go at it in mid-air on the Quidditch Pitch?” I said, laughing hysterically by this point.

James grinned. “That would be so awesome.”

“You know, sometimes you should probably keep those type of thoughts to yourself,” I finished with a smile, punching him softly in the arm.

“So what are you doing right now? We could catch up on the details of the life of Lily Evans for the past few weeks that I haven’t been in it.”

Opening my mouth to respond, I (to my great surprise) found myself replying, “Sure. Why not?”

But as we turned to head to the kitchens for a few treacle tarts and some tea, who should we run into but my boyfriend himself. It was Grant Ashcroft, in the flesh.

“Hey, sweetheart, how was your day?”

My face flushed with embarrassment at both the nickname and the situation. James Potter’s eyes had gone steely, his expression impassive and I could instantly tell that the chemistry I had worked to re-spark in our conversation had once again died. He nodded stiffly to Grant before saying “I’ll see you later, Lily” and stomping back to the common room, leaving me helplessly stranded between a rock and a hard place.

-*-

By the time I got back to the Common Room that night, it was dark and all of the Gryffindors were in bed. I had muttered a lame excuse about needing to write an essay to Grant, who looked considerably hurt, and sprinted for the Library. I hid out there until after nightfall, I didn’t even go down to the Great Hall for dinner. Instead, I had headed to the kitchens for a secret snack, and ended up spending a few hours in there listening to the latest gossip about the castle from the house elves…they know everything about everyone.

The next day, it was bright and early when Annabelle decided to shake me awake. “Get up, Lil! It’s Quidditch today!”

“Wuzzgoinon?” I muttered, groaning about the amount of light that was coming into the dorm. “Go bother Em, honestly. It’s bloody early, Bella!”

“It’s never too early for Quidditch, Lil! Now here comes the real question…who are you rooting for today?”

I bolted upright with irritation. “Gryffindor, naturally! It’s my house. I don’t care what house Grant is in, I’m not rooting for it.”

“So you’re rooting for Potter, then?” Emmeline asked with a smile, catching on to the implication of Annabelle’s question.

“No. Not…really. I’m rooting for him because he is associated with the Quidditch team I’m rooting for, so in that sense…sort of,” I finished, scratching my head slightly. But really, would it be so bad if I were rooting for James Potter…with his quick reflexes, handsome features, and quite nice arse?

“Exactly,” Annabelle replied smugly. “You girls better get dressed; everyone will be down at the pitch in an hour or so.”

-*-

Emmeline and Annabelle were sitting with me at breakfast, watching James Potter occasionally longingly glance at me, then cast furious looks in Grant’s direction. Grant, however, was sitting with all of his team-mates and was too absorbed in a possible play to notice.

I sighed and idly stirred my porridge. What am I supposed to do? I feel like if I’m going to go for Potter, I need to do it soon, before he completely loses his interest in me. I don’t want to string him along. I don’t want to be juggling two guys like this, either. I need to pick one, and I need to do it soon.

Emmeline gently touched my arm with her finger before pointing in the direction of the Ravenclaw table.

Grant was looking over at me, mouthing “I love you” before heading out the door to get ready for the game. James noticed, naturally, and had slammed down his goblet, storming out to the pitch, making sure to elbow Grant harshly on his way out.

Oh, dear Merlin. Make that I need to pick one of them yesterday.

-*-

At the beginning of the match, I nervously watched from the stands as my boyfriend shook hands with Potter, both looking like they were gripping with all of their strength, glaring ferociously at one another.

This seems a little too cliché, I thought, groaning slightly to myself with my head in my hands. I was sitting with Emmeline, as Annabelle was a chaser. The seat to my left was empty; at least it was until a few moments later, when Remus Lupin slid into it.

“Hey, Lily,” he said casually, mussing his sandy blonde locks slightly as he said it.

“Hi Remus…how’s it going?” I asked in an equally casual tone, hoping, but not really expecting, for his perspective on the situation with James.

So it was naturally quite the surprise when Remus cocked his head to the side and studied me, finally saying quietly so that Emmeline couldn’t hear, “He’s really torn up about this, you know.”

“What?”

“James. He’s upset. He misses you.”

“Oh. Well, I miss him too; his persistence has been a constant companion of mine all these years.”

“He loves you, Lily. Can’t you see that? Why are you leading him on?”

“I’m not…I don’t think. I care about him too,” I whispered, surprising both me and Remus with my answer.

Emmeline poked me hard in the arm. “What’s going on up there?”

“What are you talking about, Em?”

“It looks like Potter’s jumped on somebody else’s broom…”

“Are you kidding?” I shrieked, my gaze darting to the sky, where, indeed, James Potter had jumped onto Grant Ashcroft’s broom.

-*-

“I can’t believe this,” I groaned, putting my head in my hands, my gaze trailed over to where my boyfriend and James Potter were sitting in beds alongside each other, passed out from some intensive Sleeping Draughts and boasting various injuries.

“This wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for you leading them on, you know,” a voice from the end of the hall summed up simply. Turning, I saw a tall, handsome brunette boy- Sirius Black. Black usually doesn’t talk to me much, but I was amazed by how he managed to completely nail what I was thinking so effectively.

“Merlin, I know. But it’s not like I asked Potter to jump on the bloody broom. It’s not my fault he’s cracked.”

Sirius cast a dark look in my direction at the slight on his friend. “Prongs isn’t cracked. He’s in love.”

“What’s the difference?” I found myself asking darkly, twirling a scarlet strand of hair around my finger.

“Not much,” he snorted with a grin. “But for reasons I don’t entirely understand, he picked you. He loves you, he cares about you, and you’re taking him for granted. You need to stop, before you lose him forever.”

I felt a salty, hot tear run down my cheek. Sirius wrapped an arm around me, pulling me into a reassuring hug.

“It’ll all by okay, Lily,” he whispered. “Just make the right decision.”

-*-

I stuck around the Hospital Wing long after Sirius had left, waiting for the boys to wake up. Grant came around first.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he whispered, smiling at me.

“Hi. How are you feeling?”

“Not too badly for having a full-grown boy jump me in mid-air. What is Potter on?” he asked, scratching his head in confusion. He really had no idea why he’d been attacked that morning.

“He loves me. He wants me to break up with you,” I summed up bluntly, not being able to make eye contact with him while I said it.

“And what do you want?” he asked quietly, looking down at his clasped hands.

“I…don’t know. But I know enough to know that if I’m not sure…I shouldn’t be with anyone.”

“So this is it, then?” Grant asked, his eyes looking dangerously glassy, meanwhile getting up from his bed.

“I…I think so. I’m really sorry about the way I had to do this, but I feel terrible for stringing along two boys that I care about.”

Grant Ashcroft nodded, mussing his blonde hair with his hand slightly. “It’s all right, Lily. I’m happy to know that you’ll be happier this way. You’ve been distant for weeks; it was only a matter of time. Okay, well…this has been sufficiently awkward; I’m going back to the dorms.”

Reaching out to give me one last hug, Grant kissed me lightly on top of my head before turning and quickly striding out of the Hospital Wing- and out of my life.

-*-

Authoress’ Note: Once again, please don’t forget to review! I would just really like to come back from vacation and have some wonderful reviews to look forward to! Thank you all for reading and reviewing, I love you all for it!

TO MY ‘UNWRITTEN’ FANS- I am very sorry, but that is the only story I will not be able to update before I leave. I really tried to make it, but my laptop has just died on me for the sixth time, it is 10 PM, and my dad is shaking me awake at 4 AM so we can leave by 5…so I profoundly apologize. At least I got all the stories that I left on cliffhangers updated.

6. Single Scarlet Woman

-*-

Steal My Kisses

Mei Queen

-*-

Authoress’ Note- I would just like to thank everyone out there that reviewed! Even if your review was just a “update soon, please!” or a “great chapter!” it still made my day to get it, and please know that I’m smiling on my end of the computer, even if I hadn’t the time to reply. I usually only reply to those reviews asking specific questions that I feel need answers, just because with five (6 on Portkey) stories, it’s very difficult to keep up with all the different reviews for the different stories! But just know that I do appreciate the wonderful things that you all say. They are absolutely fabulous to read, and I really do enjoy them! Extra thanks go to those that reviewed while I was in Mexico, my inbox was full when I got back and I can’t even begin to tell you how much easier it made unpacking (which is my least favourite chore in the universe, so that’s really saying something!)!!! So to sum up- THANK YOU! You all rock my socks!

-*-

PREVIOUS

“So this is it, then?” Grant asked, his eyes looking dangerously glassy, meanwhile getting up from his bed.

“I…I think so. I’m really sorry about the way I had to do this, but I feel terrible for stringing along two boys that I care about.”

Grant Ashcroft nodded, mussing his blonde hair with his hand slightly. “It’s all right, Lily. I’m happy to know that you’ll be happier this way. You’ve been distant for weeks; it was only a matter of time. Okay, well…this has been sufficiently awkward; I’m going back to the dorms.”

Reaching out to give me one last hug, Grant kissed me lightly on top of my head before turning and quickly striding out of the Hospital Wing- and out of my life.

-*-

Chapter 5- Single Scarlet Woman

Yes, Grant Ashcroft was out of my life. Or so I thought.

The next morning at breakfast, the whole school was in an uproar. Word had spread fast about my break-up with Grant, and everyone was still buzzing about the incident at Quidditch yesterday. From what Bella told me, a group of Hufflepuffs had started a pool totalling near 200 Galleons about when James and I would get together now that Grant was out of the picture. I was shocked. I didn’t realize this many people knew or cared about my personal life. Anyway, James and I probably wouldn’t be getting together anytime soon seeing as James had ended up staying overnight in the Hospital Wing, at Madam Pomfrey’s insistence. He hadn’t woken up for the time I had been there, so I eventually left, figuring the Marauders would come take over James’ bedside. However, James Potter being currently healing seemed to have put no damper on the gossip about my “love triangle” at all.

It only got worse when, in the middle of my eggs and kippers, the mail came. Not expecting anything but my usual Daily Prophet, I paid the swooping owls no attention. But when one landed right in the middle of my plate, I definitely noticed.

Lily was all that the envelope said. Must be a ruddy smart owl, I mentally quipped before grudgingly releasing the letter from its talons. Without taking any refreshment, the tawny owl took that moment to make a hasty exit.

There was something very familiar about the writing on the envelope, but I couldn’t quite place it. Shrugging it off, I opened it to find this letter-

Lily-

Please know that this is not an attempt to win you back or to change your opinion of me. I know that when your mind is made up, it is usually made up for good, and I will not question your decision. But I really want you to know what you have meant to me. In the past year, you’ve become my confidante, my best friend, and so much more. I was not lying when I said that I loved you (and still do). It was really hard for me to let you go in the wing earlier. I would have held on to you for as long as it took, because you are very special. I don’t want to lose you. But if this is really what you want, then I will have no choice but to tell you to be happy and that I will always be here for you. Please meet me later so we can talk about this.

My eyes watered as I put down the sentimental note. Feeling eyes on me, I glanced over at the Ravenclaw table. Grant had been watching me read, taking in my expressions and reactions. I simply nodded, indicating that I’d meet with him. Hopefully I could get this mess figured out once and for all.

-*-

“So she was here all day yesterday?” James said breathlessly, pushing his glasses further up his nose. His hazel eyes were sparkling with elation as he sat up in the uncomfortable hospital bed.

“Yup, apparently jumping her boyfriend in midair grabs one’s attention,” Remus deadpanned, chuckling softly at his friend’s easily excitable nature where I was concerned.

The door to the Hospital Wing opened right then, and Sirius Black came striding in. “Oh, Prongsie…how much do you love me?”

The smile on James’ face disappeared. “What did you do? I swear if you topped me in detentions…I’ve been working hard for that record, damn it, Padfoot!”

Sirius snorted, slapping his best friend on the back. “No, I topped you ages ago there. Just didn’t tell you because I wanted to preserve your fragile ego. Oh well. No…this is much better news than that, my old friend.”

James rolled his eyes. Usually Sirius’ news was far from useful, and he feared that today’s news would be no different.

“Lily is a single scarlet woman!”

“Do you even know what a scarlet woman is?” Remus asked incredulously, chortling with laughter by this point.

The door opened again, revealing the last Marauder, who had apparently heard the tail end of the conversation. “That she has red hair?”

“No, that’s what Padfoot thought it meant, too.”

Meanwhile, James had been completely ignoring his friends. Lily is single? Oh, Merlin. This is exactly the chance I’ve been waiting for!

Snapping back to reality, James managed to choke out, “Do you know who broke up with whom, Padfoot?”

“Um…I heard it was Lily’s doing, at least that’s the story the Hufflepuffs are circulating, and their gossip is usually pretty reliable,” Sirius muttered, looking thoughtful while he said it. “So what are you going to do about it, Prongs?”

“Nothing until Pomfrey lets me out of here. I swear there’s nothing bloody wrong with me. I think she just likes to hole me up in here as long as she can, because it means she has to tend to fewer students that we’ve pranked or something,” James finished irritably, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Let me handle this,” Sirius said with a wink. “Oh, Poppy…”

-*-

Approximately three minutes later, all four of the Marauders were thrown out of the Hospital Wing.

“Your techniques are impressive, Padfoot,” James praised with a low whistle. “I’ve been begging for her to let me go all day! I should have thought to ask you to come much earlier…”

“See? I can be helpful. Oh, and Moony- why is ‘scarlet woman’ funny?”

“Now you ask? It’s been about fifteen minutes, and now you ask? You are extraordinarily slow on the uptake.”

“It’s a gift,” Sirius replied with a grin.

“Gift is a good way to look at it,” Peter quipped brightly, leading the way down to breakfast.

Just as they were approaching the doors to the Great Hall, I burst through, a crunched letter in my fist, marching determinedly out to the lake.

James had just left his friends to follow when he noticed that somebody already was following me- Grant Ashcroft, the boyfriend I thought I had finished things with for good.

-*-

Summoning his Invisibility Cloak from his dorm, James Potter secretly followed me and my ex-boyfriend of a day out to the lake.

I got up on to the rock by the lake, settling myself contentedly upon it and thoughtfully listening to the footsteps that had trailed me out here.

“Thanks for talking to me, Lily.”

“You’re welcome,” I replied with a sigh, bringing my knees closer to my chest. “It’s no trouble. So what did you want to say?”

Grant waved the question off, seeming to want to make this as indirect of a conversation as possible. “What did you think of my letter?”

Underneath his cloak, James’ eyes were bulging. She got a letter from him? When? What if they get back together before I’ve even had a shot? What will I do then?

“It was sincere and sweet, but I don’t know what you’re hoping to get out of this.”

Grant’s eyes clouded over slightly. “I don’t know what I want. I just…care about you. And I want to be sure that this is what you want.”

“Being single?” I questioned.

“No, being with Potter.”

Both James’ and my eyes were bulging by this point. “What do you mean, being with Potter? We’re not together!”

“But you will be. Everybody knows it. The Hufflepuffs even had a bloody pool going! When did you give in, Lily? You’ve always called him an egotistical jinx-happy prat. You’ve never really even gotten along with him as friends. When did your opinion change? I don’t want to see you get hurt, Lily, and I think that Potter is the type to do exactly that.”

My eyebrow quirked slightly at his bluntness. Most of what he had said was completely true, but I still couldn’t really see James Potter hurting me. He wasn’t the type. I used to think so, but his relentless pursuit of me had shown me otherwise. “He’s waited too long to be with me, Grant. He won’t hurt me.”

James was nodding stubbornly underneath his cloak. Too right, Lily.

“If you’re sure, I suppose. I just want to make sure this is what you want, that’s all. I am always here for you if you need to talk.”

-*-

I walked back to Gryffindor in a complete daze. My ex-boyfriend had basically just proclaimed that his feelings for me weren’t going to change anytime soon, and then there was the matter of Potter…what should I do? Should I wait for him to come to me? Moreover, do I want to start a real relationship with him? The kisses were fabulous, yes, but a lot of what Grant had said earlier was very true. He was usually pretty unreliable, jinx-happy and egotistical…but I had noticed a bit of a change in him lately. He seemed to be trying to be someone that I might want to seriously date, a change that had not gone unappreciated.

When I got up to my dorm, I noticed a letter for me lying on the duvet.

“Potter asked me to bring it up,” Emmeline said softly in response to the unasked question forming in my head.

I nodded, picking it up and breaking the seal while I settled on my comfortable bed.

Lily-

Please meet me tonight at 8:30 in the Heads’ Room.

I sighed, stuffing the note back into the envelope. Obviously I dumped the eloquent one.

-*-

As the sun dipped lower in the sky, I looked over at the magically powered clock at my bedside. 7:45, it read.

Gathering some clothes, I went to the loo to change and tame my scarlet locks. After beating my hair into submission, I managed to read a few pages of a novel I’d borrowed from the library before realizing that I should get going, or I’d be late.

Approaching the familiar portrait, I flashed my best grin at Barnubus the Belby, the guardian to the Heads’ Room. “Hi, Barny!”

“How are you, Miss Lily?” he asked with a grin.

“Pretty good, thanks. And you?”

“Hanging around,” he deadpanned with a chuckle. “Password?”

I sighed. “Lily Evans is the most beautiful girl in existence.”

“Correct,” he replied with a laugh.

Honestly, it was the most embarrassing and ridiculous password in the world, but James had insisted near the beginning of the year. Since we hardly ever used the room, I didn’t really care, but it was still rather uncomfortable to say. I felt like I was being completely conceited just trying to perform my Heads’ duties in here.

When the portrait swung open, I noticed that James was already there. Sitting on the cushy couch twiddling his thumbs, I didn’t think I’d ever seen the normally collected boy so anxious in my life.

I cleared my throat when I entered, to make him aware of my presence. “Hello, James.”

“Hi, Lily! Er…how are you?”

Scooting to the edge of the couch, he patted the space next to him, indicating that I should sit.

“I’m okay…and you?”

His cheeks reddened. “I’m kind of nervous, actually.”

I giggled. “I can tell.”

“Well, I’ll just be out with it…will you be my girlfriend?”

My eyebrow quirked, and I replied, “You’re just going to ask me that? We’re not going to go on a date first or anything? And you’re asking me the day after I broke up with my ex? Isn’t that sort of moving quickly?”

James looked considerably chastened. “I had a feeling you wouldn’t go for that, I’m never listening to Sirius again…”

I grinned as I watched him muttering to himself. Then something clicked. I don’t know what it was, specifically, but he looked absolutely adorable sitting there berating himself. Maybe it was the fact that he cared so much about me that he wanted everything to be perfect. Maybe it was that he cared enough to jump my ex in midair. Maybe it was the way his hazel eyes glittered in the firelight. But suddenly, none of the technicalities mattered. It was just me and James. A boy and a girl sitting on a couch alone, really liking one another for reasons that we didn’t necessarily question and definitely did not understand, but it was what it was.

I felt my stomach begin to flutter as I closed the distance between myself and a bewildered James, capturing his lips in a passionate kiss. His confusion melted away as his hands came to rest at my waist, pulling me closer, deeper…

This is amazing, I thought. And for once, it’s not wrong. I can kiss him all I want to!

I could feel James’ lips smiling slightly underneath my own.

“Not that I’m complaining, but what was that for?” James asked breathlessly.

“Because I can, for once,” I replied with a smile. It was so unlike me to be impulsive, that it felt like such a welcome change. “I do have a question for you, though, James.”

“Yes?”

“What in the world possessed you to jump onto Grant’s broom in midair in the middle of a Quidditch match? That was so stupid! What in the name of Merlin were you thinking?!” I found my voice raising a few pitches. It wasn’t that I was mad at James, necessarily, but what if Grant had gotten seriously hurt? What if he had gotten seriously hurt? I would never have been able to forgive myself for being the cause of such idiocy.

James looked down at his hands dolefully, his lips still pink from our kiss. “I don’t know, really. I don’t think I was thinking. I just saw him flying and all I could think about was that maybe if he wasn’t around, you would be free to be with me…”

“You wanted to kill him?” I screeched.

“No, I actually hadn’t thought that far, really. It was just an urge that I didn’t listen to my conscience on. I figured that even if the stunt didn’t work out, at least maybe I would have gotten your attention. Maybe you would understand what I would do to have you in my life.”

My eyes watered slightly. I felt his arms close in around me, capturing me in a comforting embrace.

“I love you, you know,” he whispered in my ear.

“I know,” I replied with a small smile. To mine and his drastic surprise, I found myself saying, “I love you, too.”

His grip on me grew tighter, and I felt him plant a sweet kiss in my hair. It was then that I knew I had made the right decision. It had been a downright rocky road. I had never expected my love story to end this way. If someone had asked me in fifth, sixth, hell, even the beginning of seventh year who I thought I would end up with in the end; my last answer would have been James Potter. But somewhere in the hugs, in the illicit kisses, I actually grew to love the prat. That mischievous nature that used to be the bane of my existence as a fifth year prefect felt like the most comfortable and predictable thing in the world to me. Being on the couch with James that night…it felt like coming home.

-*-

“Lily, you better get up, we have classes in about an hour,” James whispered into my ear. We had spent the entire night in each others’ arms on that cushy couch, exchanging kisses. Now, much to my dismay, it was time to face the world and to detail with all those technicalities that seemed virtually irrelevant last night.

“Already? I don’t want to go. Do you think they’d notice if the Head Girl skived morning classes?”

His hazel eyes lit up and he chuckled slightly in response. “I think they definitely would, especially if the Head Boy wasn’t there, either.”

I snorted quite ungracefully. “I’m not stopping you. You can go and learn Transfiguration for both of us.”

“Not a chance. Now come on, we’ve got to get going or we’ll miss breakfast.”

Still grumbling, I did a quick charm to generally clean myself up a bit and change my clothes, doing the same for James. “Thanks,” he muttered.

Quickly exiting the portrait, James summoned our supplies and books.

I was trying to get a big wrinkle out of my robes when I heard my name being called from down the corridor.

Looking up, I saw the one person I really did not want to see me hanging around with James Potter. It was Grant Ashcroft, in the flesh.

“Grant…hi!”

“Hey, Lily! Potter.”

James gave him a curt nod before catching, with impressive dexterity, our book bags which had just come hurtling through the air. I, meanwhile, looked up to Grant. His expression was doleful, and when he spoke, his tone was accusatory.

“You look like you had a good time last night.”

You’ve got to be bloody kidding me! We broke up! James and I just kissed, for the love of Merlin. This is ridiculous… I thought to myself irritably, trying to find a nice thing to say to Grant. My chance to speak was cut off, however, when James decided to jump in on our conversation.

“Maybe she did. What’s it to you? You two are broken up, you know? She’s a free agent; she can do what she likes.”

My brain was cheering with James’ response. He had said exactly what I had wanted to, and spared me being the bad guy. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship, I thought with a grin.

“I’m not saying that she can’t. I just don’t think she wasted any time in enjoying the perks of being a free agent,” he finished a steely stare.

“I don’t have bloody time for this. I want to eat, and breakfast is almost over,” I muttered, taking my bag from James, shouldering it and stalking off to the Great Hall with the loudest footsteps I could manage.

-*-

“Lily! Hold on!” James called, pausing to give Grant one more disgusted expression.

“Yeah, Lily! Hold on!” Grant called, chasing after James who was chasing after me. This would be downright comical if it wasn’t so ridiculous, I thought to myself grimly.

Grudgingly stopping and spinning around, I saw both boys tailing me. “What do you want?” I demanded.

James looked at me with a hurt expression. “I just wanted to eat breakfast with you…” he began nervously.

“Not you! Grant!”

“Oh.”

“I wanted to know what you’re doing with this loon, if you gave any thought to what I put in that note, if you even care about how I feel right now.”

I was shocked. He was accusing me of not caring at all…of course I cared about how he felt. He had been my friend and boyfriend for a year. But that year was over. We were broken up, and I couldn’t help noticing that Grant wasn’t terribly good at the concept of “breaking up” and all that it entailed.

“Well, yes, I care. But we’re broken up, Grant. I don’t want…us…anymore. It doesn’t work. It hasn’t for a long time. You’re a great person, and I cared about you a lot. But us together…doesn’t click. It’s missing passion, fire, anger...conflict. Arguments are what keep relationships alive, and we didn’t ever have any. It wasn’t working, you and I. If we tried it again, it still wouldn’t work. I deluded myself for a long time because you’re a wonderful guy and I didn’t want to lose you, but I’ve made my choice, and I thought long and hard about it. As to why I’m with James…for reasons I don’t altogether understand, I love him. Maybe it’s the fact that we do nothing but argue, but I really care about him, and that’s my final decision. Please respect it.”

I felt a tear slip down my cheek as I turned to enter the Great Hall. That was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do. To see Grant’s crushed expression…to see James’ expression, which varied between elation and nervousness…it was so difficult. I needed someone to vent to. I needed my best friend.

-*-

“Bella!” I shouted after opening the double doors, openly crying by this point.

Annabelle Burton looked around, bewildered, before noticing me striding towards her. Jumping up from her spot on the bench, she ran to close the gap between us and give me a comforting hug.

“What happened?” she asked softly, not really caring that the attention of the entire student body of Hogwarts was currently fixated on us.

“I…love…him” was all I could choke out.

Running her hand in consoling circles on my back, she smiled. “Of course you do. I told you that from the beginning, remember?”

I couldn’t help but grin slightly through my tears. “I know. He knows now, too. Now Grant knows, too.”

Her expression soured slightly. “That didn’t go over well, did it?”

“I guess it went over as well as telling your ex that you love somebody else about a day after you’ve broken up with them could possibly go.”

“So…it went terribly, then?” Bella asked with a smile.

I dabbed at my tears with sleeve of my jumper. “Yeah, pretty much.”

“But that’s over, isn’t it?” she asked with a hopeful expression. “The worst part is now over. He was the one person you were scared to tell…and now he’s gone and found out on his own. He took a lot of the pressure off, didn’t he?”

I considered her point. “You know, you’re right. He was the one person I didn’t want to hurt with this, but now that he already knows…none of this secrecy matters, I suppose.”

Annabelle grinned. She leaned in and whispered conspiratorially, “You’re right. Just…wait until tomorrow to officially get together, would you? I’ll buy you two a round of butterbeer, because Black and I will have won the big Hufflepuff pool if you wait ‘til then.”

I laughed and agreed. Turning, I saw James standing nervously near the door of the Great Hall, not wanting to intrude on my moment with my best friend. Quickly saying goodbye to Annabelle, I took James’ arm, saying, “How about we make a trip down to the kitchens? I don’t mind being late for class if you don’t.”

“Late? Please. We were merely working on an extremely important project for Dumbledore, weren’t we?”

“Oh, right. Absolutely. Now what was it called again?” I asked, playing along.

“I call it ‘Single-But-Not-For-Long Scarlet Woman’,” he replied with a grin.

I gasped at his audacity. Punching him softly in the arm, his hazel eyes met my emerald in surprise.

“What was that for? Nobody will ever understand that joke…I’m just talking about your hair! Bugger! Lily! Come back here! Don’t run away when we’re arguing…oh, come on, Lily! I didn’t mean it! I’m sorry! Really! Please stop walking so bloody fast...”

-*-

The End

-*-

Authoress’ Note- And thus ends SMK. I’m debating an Epilogue. Review and let me know what you thought…let me know what you think about an Epilogue…just say hi…whatever, I don’t really care what you say as long as you review! Also, a lot of you have questioned the Mature rating. I have decided that I will lower the rating to PG-13…originally, it was going to have a sex scene in it, but I felt uncomfortable inserting one due to the previous nature of the story. It was too teenybopper-ish for me to feel comfortable putting in a random sex scene. So that won’t be happening, and the PG-13 rating will be applied. Thank you to EVERYONE for your support with this. This story was very surprising. It was based on a real experience of mine, and I never expected it to gain the following that it has. I can’t thank you all enough for helping me along…I probably would have never been able to say I’d finished a story if it weren’t for all of you. Thank you so much, your support has meant the world to me.

7. Epilogue

-*-

Steal My Kisses

Mei Queen

-*-

Authoress’ Note: Due to popular opinion on all of my host sites, I have decided to do an Epilogue (I think the final tallies were somewhere near 45 to 3 in favour of the epilogue). Even though only two people suggested it, I have actually been wondering about it, and have decided to do a sequel to Steal My Kisses. For all intensive purposes, it will basically just be a J/L relationship fic that could work on its own without SMK, but there will be occasional mentions to OCs like Bella and Grant, and that is why I’ll recommend people to read this one first. The sequel is entitled “Every Other Time”, and there is a teaser at the end of the Epilogue.

In response to all the “this PoV is friggin awkward” comments (which I wholeheartedly agree with), I have decided to do the Epilogue and sequel in the following format (and am going to go back and edit the odd bits of previous chapters). When a alternate PoV is mentioned, it will look like this: “::3rd P:: (aka narrator)” etc, etc. and that will be the PoV until you see a ::Lily’s P::. Hope this clears up all the confusion.

-*-

Epilogue

::3rd P::

Sirius Black sat morosely at a table in the Library, his books scattered aimlessly everywhere. His best friend had been missing for approximately a day, no doubt out with the charming Lily Evans, Sirius thought with a sigh. Peter and Remus had been trying to cheer Sirius up for the past half an hour, but to no avail, so they eventually finished up their massive Potions essays and left, leaving Sirius to his own depressing thoughts.

Absentmindedly biting his quill, he looked up when he saw someone slump quite ungracefully in the spot next to him.

“Hi Sirius!”

Looking up, he noticed Annabelle Burton smiling cheerfully at him. “‘Lo, Bella,” he mumbled.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Our best friends are abandoning us, and you ask me what’s wrong, Bella? What kind of friend are you?” Sirius asked with his typical dramatic flair.

Annabelle took the moment to roll her eyes. “Please tell me you’re not getting all bloody protective on me now! Just last week you were complaining about how annoying James was when he was trying to get Lily to be with him all year! And now he actually is with Lily, and all you can say is that he’s abandoning you?!”

Bella simply looked at him in utter shock.

“What? I just think he’s turning his back on his friends,” Sirius mumbled grumpily.

“You’re not allowed to think like that for at least a year, my friend. But you’re right, we must go find them. We have some serious gold to win here, Black,” Bella whispered with a grin.

The word “gold” brightened Sirius considerably, and he agreeably finished the last bit of his essay before trailing Bella out of the Library in search of their friends.

-*-

The Head students were found cuddling on the couch in the Gryffindor Common Room, admiring the fire as it slowly died down to embers.

“Excuse me, but when did leaving the dorm go out of style?” Sirius asked James grumpily, sitting down in the armchair next to the couple.

Bella looked around a moment before resignedly standing. “Yeah, we haven’t seen you two all day!”

“We’ve been catching up on each other’s life histories. It’s a long process,” James replied with a grin.

Lily leaned her head on her new boyfriend’s shoulder, whispering softly, “Yes, it has. I feel like I barely knew you before.”

Annabelle smiled at her friend. She had never seen Lily so happy. Her cheeks were a healthy pink, hair up in a hasty ponytail. Lily hadn’t put a lot of effort into her appearance, but James’ adoring gaze continually trailed to her, as if he had never seen someone more wonderful in all his life. This is the real thing, Bella thought with awe.

“So will you two go down with us to the Great Hall? We still want to win the Hufflepuff bet here!” Sirius lowered his voice as he spoke, because some of the younger years were trying to coyly listen in on their conversation.

“I guess,” James groaned, getting up from the couch. Offering his new girlfriend a hand, the group went down to the Great Hall to let all of Hogwarts know that they were “official”.

-*-

::Lily’s P::

I grinned to myself as I felt James’ hand caress my own on the way down to the Great Hall. I was a bit scared of what my ex would have to say when he saw; after all, just because I didn’t want to be with Grant doesn’t mean that I deliberately wanted to hurt his feelings. Telling myself to put away those depressing thoughts, I glanced up at my new boyfriend to find him already openly staring at me.

Blushing, I made quite the show of seeing whether there was something in my hair or teeth, before he stopped me with a chuckle. “I just think you’re gorgeous, that’s all,” James said with a smile, leaning over to kiss my cheek.

“Good to know you’re easy to please!” I replied with a laugh. “Maybe I’ll never get dressed up again!”

James immediately began to backtrack his words, saying, “Lil, I don’t know if I would go that far, sweetie…some occasions you can’t just go in jeans to, right?”

Meanwhile, Bella and I were laughing hysterically at his attempt to put it delicately. “I was just kidding, James. Joking?”

“Oh right,” he replied, obviously relieved that he wouldn’t have to take a jeans-clad date to meet his parents.

“So are you two ready for your big debut, then? Hand in hand? Check. Okay, Bella. I think we’re ready.”

Sirius looked so…well…serious when he said it that it was very hard for James and me to keep straight faces as we walked into the Hall. The whispers and gasps at our enclosed hands were definitely audible. While we went to find seats at the table, Bella and Sirius went over to the Hufflepuff table to collect their earnings.

Coming back smiling in a rare moment of camaraderie, Annabelle Burton and Sirius Black sat next to each other opposite us at the table.

Bella grinned. “We’ve decided we want to do something special for you guys, since we wouldn’t have won this if it weren’t for both of you.”

I looked at James with a grin. “What did you have in mind?”

Sirius looked downright mischievous as he lowered his voice so only the four of us could hear. “One-eyed witch. Tonight.”

James’ face lit up as well, but Bella and I obviously did not hide our confusion very well, because Sirius noted our expressions and proceeded to quietly explain what was behind the one-eyed witch and where we were going.

Though the Head Girl in me was saying that it was totally against the rules and probably a terrible, dangerous thing to do, I was shocked to realize that most of me just thought it sounded…fun.

-*-

Later, in the dorm, I let loose my scarlet waves and wondered what to wear.

“Turquoise?” Emmeline suggested helpfully.

I cocked my head to the side. “It’s possible. Maybe something in that colour family, yeah.”

“I say…green!” Annabelle proclaimed, bursting through the door to the dorm with her usual volume.

“Where have you been?”

“Um…I left my essay in the library,” Bella mumbled, setting her book bag down by her bed and grabbing some clean clothes out of her trunk.

I picked out an outfit slowly, thinking about how Annabelle had looked when she burst in. There was something that wasn’t sitting right with her story, but I couldn’t put my finger on quite what it was. I smiled at my reflection, adding a little bit of makeup to my otherwise naked face.

I changed once Bella was done, and then we walked down to the Common Room, mumbling apologetically to Emmeline that Sirius was paying for us, and we didn’t know how much money he had so we couldn’t invite anyone else. However, Em had taken it remarkably well, seemingly relieved to have the dorm to her for a night.

“You ready?” I felt James whisper in my ear as I met him by the fireplace.

“Let’s go,” I whispered confidently, allowing him to take my hand and lead me off to a place I thought I’d never go: somewhere I most definitely was not supposed to be.

-*-

“Dissendium,” Sirius had whispered when we had reached the statue (which was, coincidentally, extremely ugly. Why someone would make a statue of a practically humped back witch with one eye was completely beyond me).

We found ourselves in a small passage, shrouded in darkness. The only light was that of James’ and Sirius’ wands, which were casting a beam less than a metre in front of us. I felt James’ hand close around mine, and even in the disturbing darkness, I felt- safe. They certainly seem to know where they’re going, I noted with amusement. The boys had hold on both our hands and were tugging us along at impressive speed down the endless corridor.

Finally, the boys stopped, signifying we had reached the end of the passage. Looking at the ground, I noticed some stairs.

Motioning us to be quiet, the boys went up first to check if the coast was clear. Seemingly pleased with the result, they motioned for us to follow. We walked out of the storeroom into a deserted Honeydukes. Hogwarts must be most of its clientele, I noted.

Smiling at me, James whispered in my ear, “Do you want anything?”

“Like what?”

“Anything. This is the biggest selection of candy in all of England!”

Grinning, I grabbed Bella and we sidled over to the chocolate section. I thought myself hallucinating as I noticed Bella’s gaze continually going over to where the boys were inspecting some of the newest prank candies in from India. She better not like James or I’ll have to hurt her, I thought furiously, following her gaze. I met something I wasn’t expecting. Sirius is staring back. No bloody way. She hates Sirius …doesn’t she? But then, where was she before we left? This does explain a few unanswered questions…

Bella and I made our selections and walked to the counter, where James made quite a show (it was a bit embarrassing how loud he was about it, to be honest…but it was still rather sweet) of wanting to pay for me and Bella. Then, the cashiering got even more awkward as Sirius insisted on cutting in and paying for Bella. Cheeks red as tomatoes, Bella and I led the way out of Honeydukes, clutching our bags of candy and headed towards The Three Broomsticks.

-*-

Sirius and James came back to the table after ordering and paying (at their insistence) for Bella’s and my pints of butterbeer. We were tucked into a booth on the side; away from any of the public who might be asking what students were doing out in Hogsmeade tonight.

As Madam Miller, the barmaid, brought the four frothy drinks to us, we smiled at one another. I felt relieved at the choice I had made. Grant had been a wonderful boyfriend, but I had never been really comfortable with his friends. With James, I already felt like Sirius, Remus, and Peter were my friends. And right then, with Bella, Sirius, and James… something clicked. This group felt so comfortable, so effortless, and completely right. The jokes were always understood, the conversation always enjoyable…it felt like we had been best friends for our whole lives, not just friendly for the past few years.

Sirius hoisted his pint in the air, proclaiming jollily, “To a couple that has finally ruddy figured it out!”

Bella grinned, knocking glasses with him. “I’ll drink to that!”

James laughed, hoisting his pint agreeably.

Before raising mine, however, I couldn’t help it. I asked, “Which couple are we devoting this to? You two seem awfully cosy lately, you know.”

James snorted, nearly spitting out a mouthful of butterbeer.

Sirius and Bella had the good grace to blush furiously.

After a moment, Bella ventured, “Are we that obvious?”

“Only to your best friend,” I replied with a grin. “I knew something was up with you lately, I haven’t been able to ruddy find you anywhere!”

James’ mouth was still open in shock. “You two. No bloody way. You two hate each other!”

“There’s a fine line between love and hate. Now close your mouth, Potter, you’ll let the flies in,” I quipped with a laugh.

His attention turned to me, grinning mischievously. “You know, now that we’re dating, you can’t call me ‘Potter’ anymore. You’ll have to use first names.”

“Is that so? Well, all right, then…if you insist.”

I felt James’ arm drape lazily across my shoulders and smiled up at him, still chuckling slightly at how funny he could be. My boyfriend is pretty cute, I thought with a grin. Wow, that’s weird to think. My boyfriend. James is my boyfriend now. Lily and James. James and Lily. Lily Potter. Lily Evans Potter. It’s got quite a ring to it, doesn’t it?

THE END

…until the sequel, “Every Other Time”, anyway! There is a snippet below.

-*-

Every Other Time

Mei Queen

-*-

“Sometimes it’s black

Sometimes it’s white

Sometimes she's wrong

Sometimes I'm right

Sometimes we talk about it

Or we figure it out

But then she'll just change her mind

Sometimes she's hot

Sometimes I'm cold

Sometimes my head wants to explode

But when I think about it

I'm so in love with her

Every other time”

(LFO, “Every Other Time”)

::3rd P::

“Lily, I swear to Merlin, if you do not come down…” James Potter called with irritation. Lily Evans, his girlfriend of only three months, was angry with him again. He didn’t really know how it had started, something about the treatment of house-elves? Regardless, Lily had done the temperamental thing she always did and escalated the misunderstanding into a full-blown argument. Now, much to the amusement of the Common Room, James Potter had to shout for his girlfriend from the base of the stairs to the girls’ dorms. Ruddy sexist alarm, he thought to himself, mentally cursing the girls’ staircase and the founders that put the stupid spell on it in the first place.

“Bad luck again, eh, Prongs?” Remus Lupin, one of James’ best friends and part of the exclusive group called the ‘Marauders’, said casually as he descended from the boys’ dorm.

“Lily hates me again.”

“How long did that take?” Peter Pettigrew, one of James’ other best friends and fellow Marauder, chimed in.

“Three days,” Sirius Black added efficiently from the spot on the couch by the fire. Usually that spot was James and Lily’s favourite spot, but since they were on the outs yet again, Sirius got to have the spot to curl up with his tempestuous girlfriend, Annabelle Burton.

Remus let out a low whistle, signifying things looked bleak for James, before heading to the Library to work on his Transfiguration essay, Peter in tow.

James sighed. His throat was hoarse from yelling for his girlfriend. Sighing resolutely, he sat down at the desk in the Common Room and grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill.

Lily-

I don’t know what I did to offend you, but please know that I’m really really sorry and love you far too much to be considered healthy. Please get back down here.

Love, James

If only I had a dollar for every time he had written one of these, he thought with a hollow laugh, walking over to where Sirius and Bella were sitting.

“Please run this up there, Bella?” he pleaded.

“Of course.”

Ten minutes later, and James was met with the following return note-

James-

I’ll of course forgive you…when you figure out what you did wrong.

Love, Lily

James grumbled darkly to himself, slumping down in the armchair by the fire. Bella and Sirius cast him amused glances, and Sirius couldn’t control his urge to say something.

“She could be with Grant, you know,” he said with a laugh.

James sighed. “You’re right. And gods know I love the woman to death. But she drives me absolutely mad!”

-*-

“Every Other Time” coming soon to a fanfiction archive near you! Read and review my Epilogue, please and thank you!